#Like I would legit rather sit here and wallow in despair over why they won't hang with me anymore
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I'm so fucking stupid, I really don't have a single fucking functioning braincell left
and if there is? then it is dedicated to making ne suffer
#I just love creating new things to get anxiety over huh#Like I paid for the FFXIV sub for 2 friends#And for the past week I haven't been unable to notice that they no longer chime in and ask me to play with them#Like today I was online in FFXIV and chatting with them on discord#They both suddenly stop responding so I keep going about in FFXIV#Lo and fucking behold? They've logged onto FFXIV to run stuff without me lmfao#And I know you might say#But fiendir? Why not just ask them? And that would be great except#I don't want to ask them to play with me because I can't help but think they feel FORCED TO because I paid their sub#Like I would legit rather sit here and wallow in despair over why they won't hang with me anymore#Because the thought of even slightly forcing anyone to interact with me because of something I gifted to them makes me feel physically sick#I'm turning 30 in less than 5 months and I still have the same fucking social/relationship anxiety I had when I was 14 lmfaoooo
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