#Like dude what you want to ask me is 'are you a rape apologist'

[noisytenant]

that post on japanese bookstores mentions non-con material...? is that just something you skimmed over or do you consider non-con fetishes morally viable in fictionalized concepts or irl execution?

(the post being referenced)

id like to thank whoever sent this to me months ago. you made me get off my ass and actually write the shit i wanted to write for a long time. almost certainly unfollowed but i hope my words reach the people who need to hear them

[zalrb]

hi, can i join the buffy S7 hate? i could write ESSAYS but i can’t rant at my sister who loves this show and spike, lol. imo, the most annoying thing about spike/spuffy is how the show manipulates the viewer (and buffy) to feel sorry for him. before S6 buffy’s feelings for spike were hate, contempt and pity, and her more positive feelings were basically her ”rewarding” him./1

and buffy-obsessed spike is basically like the trio of incels in S6 but spike’s behaviour is played for laughs or brushed aside or the show blames *buffy*. like, at the start of S7 spike makes a mocking comment about the rape attempt. then buffy finds out he has a soul and *she* has to rehabilitate him and *she* apologises when she understandably gets startled when spike unexpectedly touches her and then the whole ”you were just using me” when buffy tolerated and gave spike way more than he ever deserved. or her speech about how she wasn’t emotionally available even for spike when it’s like, no girl, spike was stalking and abusing and trying to rape you, you didn’t owe him anything. spike/buffy was all-around insulting. or the ”he’s the only one who has my back” when i’m sorry, was i watching the wrong show, because all i saw in S7 was spike being a useless dude in distress. the show increasingly woobified spike because it was easier than him earning things. i mean, just contrast angel/spike in S3/S7: angel more or less rehabilitated himself, unlike spike who put the onus on buffy. when angel was harassed by the first, he was ready to kill himself so he wouldn’t hurt anyone and he was ready to do it *alone*, without telling anyone. unlike spike who *did* kill people and then tried make *buffy* kill him, again leaving the onus on her. and p.s. spike had a lot better chemistry and more interesting interactions and potential with basically every character who wasn’t buffy so i don’t get why they wasted time on that. (and i'm so sorry, it did turn into an essay lol)"

well, that's the thing. buffy just becomes spike's caretaker and his apologist

feeling bad about him feeling bad about hurting her

and he doesn't actually do anything for her except bring up again and again how he got a soul for her, as if that's supposed to mean anything,

and it's not any different from when he was soulless and just told her he loved her like he was supposed to get a prize

so when she tells him that she's not ready for him to go, i'm like WHY, he hasn't done anything! he hasn't even been a comfort to you, in "conversations with dead people" a random vampire is the person you talk to about the things you don't want to admit to your friends

spike's just there like

or like this

or he's not there and it's like

so what does he actually do for you except be the one to tell off your friends when they act OOC and kick you out of the house just so he can say something people can point to to be like, omg he understands her better than anyone!

and this is why i have problems with storylines in which loving a "heroic" or "good" character is treated as a heroic act in of itself (or loving a morally grey character is treated as a dark act in it of itself) because that's not a redemptive quality on its own. and spike isn't redemptive.

people like to bring up his attachment to dawn as an example of him doing good or being good even when he's soulless but that attachment is directly linked to buffy rather than it being about dawn herself

which is why they don't have any scenes together or why he doesn't even ask about her the minute he and buffy become sexual. even when he gets a soul, there's no relationship there because it's not about actually caring about other people, it's about buffy.

AnGeL wAs JuSt GiVeN a sOuL - but like you said, he earns his redemption, the whole point is that he chooses to do good for the sake of good, buffy is a source of inspiration for him absolutely

but she doesn't determine whether or not he does something good.

and i just prefer that.

[incarnateirony]

Lookit patrick scramble to recover this narrative now. Look at him skittering around Profound Bond telling people to Message Me. Nono, he won't say it on main where people can correct them. He corrals people into DM to fill their heads with lies and anxieties.

Patrick, you just saw, actually, what happened. You saw your own plans backfire. Everything you claimed about me being fake just got proven *wrong.* *You* are the irrevocably dumb motherfucker that didn't know what was going on here for the last FIVE YEARS.

But since I know Shatner and Mark P are STILL hate crawling my blog, I wanted to let them know that @/tfw2point0 is a huge factor in this. If you guys wanted that to stay quiet, you probably shouldn't have had him in your SM secretary's ear.

Anyway don't forget to ask Mark Pellegrino, everyone, if he confirms or denies the contents of his late 2017 communications in group chat and 1:1 regarding an attack on Misha's Career by Travis.

Hey!! Mark Pellegrino, Shatner, Travis!! Go thank Patrick. :)

And you know. You can lie to the newbies 1:1 right now. Sure. But eventually, they're gonna hear about TAW. Eventually, they're gonna look it up. Hell, eventually they'll find me there, since I was the one who got his ass blacklisted, and man you worked REAL hard to bring that on Mark P and Shatner today.

So I mean, enjoy having them for a year or two until somebody educates them on history and what new following you're trying to groom up from losing your own realizes you're a lying lech.

Genuinely impressive that in trying to disprove me not only did you prove everything in the attacked masterpost was true but you titanically fucked over Mark Pellegrino. Good work.

Just like I said even. I show up, clear my throat behind my new icon, and Mark yeets. And boy oh boy did he fuckin yeet yesterday. And so did Shatner when he actually got control of his account from his SM manager again. Mark's braindamaged heckle was under the association I was gone. Cuz you know what? He HAD been talked to about that. He just didn't know my new twitter. Like I said. In my fucking post. But the second he did boy did he teleport, didn't he.

Like damn I don't like Mark either but I kept it mostly quiet beyond the Mark P B GoN joke and damn you stupid motherfuckers ran right to Shatner's socials thinking you had something to drag on main and all you guys got was a lost job, and two VERY pissed off worried actors you just blew up.

If you had been TRYING to hurt Mark P and Shatner I'd be like GOOD ON YOU BOI but no you thought you were doing some shit here with me and realized you're 5 years behind on who's legally entangled with the SPN crew.

GOOD WORK. YOU'RE AN IDIOT THROUGH AND THROUGH.

Once again I'm left cycling on "what a dumb bastard." dude literally directly verified two things in the post he was trying to counter. The ones on video he can't counter. What, on god's green earth, does he believe he can disprove about me at this point

sending the jared stans to defend a jared hater that attacked him professionally calling him an abusive druggie and alcoholic on main to his fans and shit during all this-- because you don't like my factual coverage of things like ratings-- truly. Magnificent dumbfuckery.

Cannot. Believe. This dude. Literally verified I'm legit. By trying to shit his pants. Because he didn't get the last FIVE FUCKING YEARS OF EVENTS WITH THE CAST AND CREW.

Five years. Let me emphasize the capital level of OBLIVIOUS NOBODY you are that you JUST NOW FIGURED OUT I was at the core of blacklisttaw when I started the trend, you NEVER tapped the brake to think what that fucking entails, and you NEVER stopped running your mouth long enough to make sure you weren't defending rape apologists.

GREAT JOB

FIVE FUCKING YEARS DUDE. I CAN'T EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. YOU'VE BEEN A CLUELESS FUCKING KNOB FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS

HOPE STANNING THEM RAPISTS WAS WORTH IT TO YOU.

[ipoddymouth]

Wait bestie I want to know your thots on the matty healy being problematic thing he’s said a lot of weird/offensive stuff for sure but apparently some of that stuff is supposed to be satirical/ he’s an edge lord or whatever like the n*zi salute thing he did and it’s not a good thing to do no matter the context but I feel like it’s probably more harmful to call him a n*zi when he isn’t actually one it’s probably better to call that action antisemitic than a whole n*zi no?

wait gjargigjag you just basically summarized my thoughts but imma ramble more under the cut

i dont think matty is actually, truly, deep in his core racist or a n*zi (i'm also p sure he's given enough interviews explaining himself and his political ideologies bc he's annoying and never shuts the fuck up) BUT he also does say a bunch of shit on the side that doesn't help his case.

i think intent is a big issue in society in general bc it's like 'are you saying this shit to be funny? or are you saying this shit to be mean?' and people don't ask that question anymore. i remember when ariana dated pete and he made that joke about manchester and people were like 'he's disrespecting the dead!!' and, like, i can defs see where people are coming from for sure, and i can also see why he was like ???? in response to the backlash because his attention clearly wasnt to offend.

i will not lie and will fully admit that i am SENSITIVE lmao and there are some jokes in standup sets that i will straight up 😐 during bc i cannot separate the words from intent sometimes but im not going to say bill burr is a rape apologist or whatever because i sit and watch my silly lil 'offensive' robot chicken episodes without batting an eye. the problem with humor is that there will always be a faction that makes certain people uncomfortable. and that's okay!!!! not all of us (me included) need to watch cumtown or red scare because we will not find it funny!!! there's one drag queen who's yt videos my boyfriend cant watch bc he thinks she comes across mean even though i think the jokes hit!!!!

and to your second point i agreeeee like im black and grew up in a p white area so obviously people have said some SHIT to me, but that means you have to learn how to distinguish between someone being intentionally racist or someone being ignorant. i think matty says shit he thinks is funny because he's trying to be funny but the jokes themselves don't hit and just come across as....bizarre? rude??? multiple -ists???? but then he tries to explain himself and people (strangers to him) are either like 'fuck u this isnt sincere' or are just like 'but youre still wrong and horrible' and he just gets frustrated and deletes his socials in a lil baby fit gjlragjaglgj. and not to be a white apologist lmao BUT i kinda do understand why people turn to that 'anti-woke ideology' bc if every time i said something with poor phrasing and someone i didn't know called me a racist n*zi i'd probs go ape shit too.

there are real, actual n*zis like in real life who are actually trying to hurt people and people are pulling out all of their big gun ultra-bad labels for some scrawny boy band dude???? like what are we supposed to call the actual n*zis???????? like i l i t e r a l l y have seen a neo-n*zi rally down the street from my HOUSE and thats fucking TERRIFYING and they're just snatching up more people because of all of the culture wars bullshit

[but like to note im not saying that people need to be forgiving and understanding every time someone says something that pisses them off. some people need to be yelled at!!! they need to know they are wrong!!!! people should just be aware of the impact their words have. matty's words have made A LOT of people straight up hate him, but at the same time, some people have probably seen matty get called a n*zi and are now like 👀 bc the bar to being considered h*tler seems kinda low.]

anyway tl;dr racism is a spectrum, words have meaning, and we don't know these people. but if matty really is a racist and im wrong then i hope he chokes!!!

ALSO i am an adult and am not in the business of defending other adults so like im not gonna argue with someone if they think matty is racist. i am not doing dirty hit pr for FREE

[insufferableburnout]

[insert clever title here]

I’ve been going back and forth about how much I want to share about myself on here. I had a tendency to overshare on the bird app and I want this blog to be a fresh start for me but I thought I would mention some of my likes and dislikes as that is what is probably going to show up on here.

What you will see on my blog:

Music- mostly punk/pop punk/emo/metal/hardcore/ whatever subgeneres are dumb/alt and a little bit of kpop and musical theatre

Books- My favorites include: Percy Jackson, Six of Crows, The Song of Achilles, Circe, Harry Potter (jk rowling can choke) The Locked Tomb series, A Song of Wraiths and Ruin duology

Theatre- I regret to inform you that I am a theatre kid and I love theatre of both the musical and non musical variety. My favorite show is Hadestown. I’m also a shakespeare nerd but don’t worry I’m not a pretentious one (at least I don’t think I am)

Tv- Once a Superwholockian always a superwholockian but I also like Game of Thrones, Teen Wolf, Buffy, and more

Video Games- My favorite form of escapism. I love the Legend of Zelda franchise and have played most of the games. I also love Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Kirby, Animal Crossing, Hades, Stardew Valley, Cult of the Lamb, and more

Art- I’m a slut for classic art and anything with a dark/gothic/punk aesthetic. I also love magic/witch aesthetics.

Cats- Love all cats, big and small. My little meow meows, my funky little dudes, my scrimbly scrimblows (no idea if that is how it’s spelled but you know who else doesn’t know how to spell? Cats)

Memes- Humor is my coping mechanism and I grew up on the internet

Youtube- I love Shane and Ryan from Watcher and have been a long time phan *gunshot* fan of Dan and Phil

My blog will NOT tolerate:

Homophobia

Racism

Transphobia

Sexism

Xenophobia

Hate speech

Bootlickers

Billionaire apologists

Rape or sexual assault perpetrators or apologist

Spiders (I have arachnophobia)

People who don’t find me funny. I think I’m hilarious and if you disagree you should leave while you still can

My asks are open so feel free to ask me anything!

[fakeboitherottengirl]

I was diagnosed ODD at 12, so about a half decade before my brief squatting saga (which was less “crashing in an abandoned building” and more “deciding as a collective house to not pay the landlord until he fixed our heat which he never did until we moved out”, but legally i was considered a squatter and didn’t want police attention drawn to the living situation).  And yeah like I said a lifetime of body terrorism including from my eating disordered mother and emotionally abusive father was in the long run more traumatizing than the violation and embarrassment of my assaults and just because I was too drugged to remember the encounter doesnt mean it wasn’t violating and traumatic and horrible thats some soren-tier rape apologist bullshit “oh it must not have been traumatizing because it wasnt violent” like fuck u dude ur literally talking about one of the most traumatizing and personality changing events in my life ur talking about somebody violating my body in the most intimate way possible can you at least afford the subject a LITTLE gravity?  And the CSA I experienced was, outside of the incidents with my soulmate’s family fiend, exclusively from older children and none of the incidents were violent, I didn’t even know anything bad had happened until we learned about it in health class and I was like “what do u mean ur not supposed let people touch u there, lots of people touch me there” and I developed a religious trauma complex around purity and virginity that lasted through my teens.  But being touched in a non-violent way by somebody who tells u they just want to show u how to feel good is very different from finding out that a postal worker in my area has violent rape fantasies about women on his routs and wants a fic where he breaks into all of their houses and rapes then murders them, including their facebook profiles in the request “for appearance reference” and specific details of how he fantasized about killing these real life women (that one I actually did report to a tip line because real women were being involved) or a man claiming to be a teacher asking for a story about making his female students submit to sex with him for protection during a mass shooting. I knew pedophiles were out there, I was literally an underage fetlife “star” pedophilia is an upsetting concept and a horrible crime but my skin had been thickened by my own experiences being groomed and preyed on by  pedophiles all through my teens on fetlife but hearing these everyday unassuming men having these violent fantasies about women especially women in their lives made me feel like any man who cast his gaze upon me wanted to kill me in some horrible way, like there was no telling who was safe.  I wasn’t afraid of pedophiles, they wanted to hurt kids not me, but these sadistic men made me feel like I couldn’t tell who around me was dangerous.  Finally I never said fatphobia is worse than rape, I said the two can’t be compared because one is a single traumatic instance while the other is more of a slow erosion of your humanity and dignity.  Its the difference between ripping a bandaid off and picking at it, its the same amount of pain just distributed over a different timeline.  U cant quantify pain in such an absolute way, especially emotional pain, and just because something is more traumatizing to UR brain doesnt mean the event itself was more traumatic or that another brain might have stored it differently (For example, I have a very strong PTSD reaction to the cartoon Happy Tree Friends for some fucking reason where I don’t respond with typical PTSD symptoms to talking about my rape.  That doesnt mean Happy Tree Friends is worse than rape, just that my heart starts beating weird and i cant breathe when i see that cartoon but I can talk about my sexual trauma in a very matter of fact way because instead of coping with it I just went numb).  But again we are talking about the literal worst things that have ever happened to me I can’t imagine talking about somebody‘s trauma with such callousness.  Am I even a real human being to you or just disembodied text on a screen to scorn and mock?

[loki-maybe-highkey]

I don't get why people (y'all already know who Im talkin bout 🤡) call Azriel toxic and an entitled prick. Like I waited and heard both sides of the story but now it's clear to me that these arguments were made to serve only one purpose: justify the other ship and invalidate Elriel because they hate Elain.

Hop in y'all it's story time. This is so long but I need it to make sense so shhh

Lemme start with a real life example and experience kay? So, I have a friend, let's call him X. Me and X have known eachother for over 5 years and we're super close. A couple years ago he told me that he's attracted to me but in a physical way (there's more to this story but it's kinda irrelevant). Anyway, the attraction was mutual (atleast to some extent on my part) and we almost hooked up. I wasn't exclusively in a relationship at that time but I was talking to someone so he thought better of it because he didn't want to ruin whatever I had going on with the other person. With that being said I did end up dating the other person and me and X continued to be friends without being weird and he was still attracted to me. He kept his thoughts to himself because I was with someone and later (like after my relationship ended) admitted that even though he felt terrible he would often fantasize about me and was jealous of the other guy. (which is completely normal because he's an adult and he didn't act on those impulses out of respect for me and no this doesn't make him a creep either idk what world y'all live in but you can't control someone else's thoughts).

Just putting it here incase people wanna call me out for being a rape apologist or SA denier- I don't condone any of those things and would never be ok with stalking/harassing or any weird behavior that guys unfortunately think is ok sometimes.

Now to Elriel's situation and what we see in the books. In Acofas, Rhys asks Azriel about his opinion on Lucien dealing with Graysen and Az says

"why should I be the judge of that".

He doesn't track Lucien because he values Elain's privacy. We then have those small Elriel moments in Acofas that show that Az atleast cares about Elain (the wishing her a happy solstice scene, the potatoes thing, and the gift exchange). In Acosf, we see Az is super protective of her but still keeps his distance. In Az's bonus chapter, Az again keeps his distance, doesn't give Elain her necklace infront of everyone because Lucien is present and it's mentioned many times in the chapter how 'wrong' he feels because Elain is a mated female and Az shouldn't feel that way about her.

Now about the argument with Rhys right after (this is where most the entitlement and toxic theories come from so). Az NEVER said he was entitled to Elain. He questioned the cauldron not because he wants Elain to be his mate but because her mating bond with Lucien is preventing him from being with her. Rhys asks him

"You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

And Az replies with how he thinks Lucien is not good enough for her and Elain isn't interested him in either. I don't see anything toxic about being jealous of the man that is in the way of you being with the woman you want to be with.

Also notice how in Acofas Az doesn't give his opinion on the situation but gets defensive and deflects Rhysand's question with another question. In his bonus chapter he only voices his thoughts AFTER he gets Elain's explicit consent. Instead of being a 'horny asshole' and 'weird alphamale' he doesn't project his thoughts and desires on anyone and only after he's certain that Elain wants him too does he admit to Rhys about how he feels. Like COME ON.

In conclusion, there is NOTHING wrong with two consenting adults to be attracted to eachother whether it is a just a physical and sexual attraction or something more. In my case, X being attracted to me doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me beyond his desire for me nor does it mean that he doesn't see/respect me as a person aside from that almost exactly like we're shown multiple times in the books that Az cares about Elain beyond his late night fantasies. Just like X kept his distance unless I clearly told him that I wanted to be with him Az takes active measures to stay away from Elain because he doesn't know for sure if she wants him or not. Me and X had history before the whole attraction thing and we're still friends just like Az and Elain are friends no matter how much anyone denies it. He listens to her ramble about things she loves and if y'all know dudes then you know they only sit there and listen to your shit because they care about you. (Again talking from experience since I've mostly had only guy friends all my life and they agree with this statement) if a guy isn't interested in you or if he doesn't deeply care for you he ain't gon waste his precious time to listen to you talk about your shit nor is he gonna make an effort for you. Our boy Az stays up with Elain for hours and listens to her talk about gardening and her plans and what not. He actively seeks her out and treats her like a normal person when others deem her crazy. From what I know he ain't doing that just to be "nice" and because he feels bad for her. Nope.

I can't believe I gotta make this clear after all that but Az still fantasizing about Elain even tho she has a mate doesn't mean he's weird or disgusting it means he's a person with feelings and desires and urges (some of which may even be out of his control) and him being decent enough and not pressuring her into anything (he didn't do anything in the bonus chapter that Elain didn't want).

He's been suffering for 500 years having loved Mor unconditionally without him getting any love back and now that he's over her and wants to pursue someone else he's toxic and bad all of a sudden. Make it make sense please.

He isn't toxic, he's frustrated (sexually 😂). He's not entitled, he's desperate. He isn't weird or disgusting, he's just a lil thirsty for the girl he likes. He isn't obsessed or crazy, he's about to be in a situation where he doesn't get the girl he wants (again) and he doesn't know what to do.

If y'all made it this far, thanks for coming to my ted talk. Peace out mfs.

[caseyscartwright]

My thoughts on 13RW Season 4 (SPOILERS)

So I originally wasn’t going to write a review, because if I’m completely honest, I’m still in shock by that finale... but here we go...

Overall, I enjoyed this season a lot more than season 3. This time, we didn’t have Ani’s annoying narration, that weird crap that was Bryce/Ani and that Bryce “redemption” bullshit that the writers shoved down our throats last season, so kudos for that. Too bad the ending fucked everything up.

Now, let’s go character by character:

Jessica: Jessica has always been my favorite character (besides Hannah), so I was really disappointed by her arc this season... if we can call it that. Her reaction to Justin breaking up with her was really immature. I understand that she was hurt, but Justin was right, he wasn’t in a position to be in a relationship and needed to focus on his recovery, so for Jessica to go after the first guy she could find (Diego) to get back at him... it was shitty. Also, what the hell, Jessica? Diego spent the whole season tormenting Clay and defending Tyler’s rapist. Aren’t Clay and Tyler your friends? Why are you sleeping with someone who is messing with people you claim to care about? And please don’t say it’s for “information”, because you clearly liked him, even tho he was an asshole. Once again, the writers made Jessica’s storylines all about boys, first it was Alex and Justin, now it was Justin and Diego. And to give one final “fuck you” to her character, they implied she ended up with Diego. “Ask me in a month”, um, so it’s going to take you a month to get over Justin? Okay, cool.

Clay: I’ve always loved Clay. Always. He’s flawed, he’s stupid, he’s too stubborn... but he cares. I’ll say this tho, he was a complete ASSHOLE towards Justin during that party, and he should have apologized for all those awful things he said, because that shit was NOT okay. I appreciate that he got help, and Dr. Ellman was a fantastic character, but his arc got old real fast. Clay has some fucked up hallucinations, Clay has a breakdown and makes a scene in front of people, Clay claims everything is fine when clearly it’s not. We get it, he thinks he’s Batman and can handle all this shit alone. Well, clearly, he can’t.

Ani: I’ll admit, I actually liked Ani this season. I think it’s because her screentime was reduced (she missed big moments like the camping trip and the shooting drill), and she wasn’t inserting herself in everyone’s business like last season. I appreciate her standing up for her friends against Winston and apologizing to Jessica for sleeping with Bryce, but that NEVER should have happened. It was weird as hell how she kept defending Bryce in s3, insisting he wasn’t a monster (he was a serial rapist who raped your friend, how is that not a monster). Her “explanation” as to why she slept with Bryce was crap. “I was lonely and stupid”, well, aww!! Lots of people are lonely and stupid, but that isn’t an excuse to defend a serial rapist and sleep with him multiple times. And even before she slept with him, she kept hanging out with him, playing poker and laughing like nothing was wrong. Weird as hell. At the end of the day, I still don’t know who Ani is, other than “the girl who liked Bryce and then liked Clay.” I’m 100% grateful that she and Clay broke up, that was never going to work, so I’ll drink to that. It was also annoying how she and Clay took their sweet time to tell the others about Winston. STOP KEEPING SECRETS. I still insist that the writers should have kept Sheri and Ani shouldn’t have existed.

Zach: Seriously, where the hell was Zach’s mom to check on her son? The whole season was basically “oh, look, Zach’s drunk!!” He was a hot mess and all his friends didn’t do shit to help him until the last minute. I know Winston manipulated him, but seriously, telling the enemy that you beat up Bryce?? Not cool, dude. And don’t get me started on that scene where they “implied” he was going to assault that drunk girl. Zach has flaws, sure, but he ISN’T a rapist, and neither is Clay (I’m talking about that weird scene where he hallucinates Bryce encouraging him to assault that girl at the frat house). The writers clearly didn’t give a fuck about Zach. Remember in s2 when he told his mom he had suicidal thoughts?? What happened to that?? I’m glad he came to his senses in the end, but he obviously needed help with his addiction.

Tyler: I felt bad for Tyler because his friends didn’t trust him, but I also sorta get it. He was acting hella shady and I get that the cops told him not to say anything, but... dude, you scared the living hell out of Clay with those guns at the end of s2, how are your friends not going to be suspicious? Like in 13RW fashion, his storyline got dragged for too long, but I think he was right when he called out Clay and Tony about their friendship. I liked his friendship with Estela, that was sweet. But overall Tyler didn’t get that much to do this season. I didn’t like how they made him feel bad about Monty. Monty raped him and belonged in jail, it isn’t Tyler’s fault someone decided to kill him.

Alex: GAY KING. The only character who didn’t annoy me this season (besides Charlie). Bryce and Monty apologists, how are you feeling?? My boy didn’t go to jail like y’all wanted it!! No “justice” for the rapists!! Beautiful, amazing, brilliant. In all seriousness, I wish his crush on Zach had been explained a bit more. I don’t think it came out of nowhere, but it would have been nice to spend more time with it. I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing with Winston, he was a Monty apologist so I didn’t want to see another one of my faves sleeping with a rape apologist, so I’m glad he found out the truth in time. Charlie and Alex were so cute together, I wanted him with Zach, but I can’t bring myself to complain because ALEX GOT A HAPPY ENDING, YAY!! He regretted killing Bryce, but it’s like Zach said “maybe he didn’t deserve to die, but NEITHER DO WE”, and he was right. Alex didn’t deserve to have his whole life ruined over a fucking rapist, so I’m glad he got happiness. I just wish his recovery arc after his suicide attempt had been done better, he’s the only character in the show who is a suicide survivor and they never focused on that. Shame, tbh.

Tony: I don’t have much to say about Tony. He was being hella stubborn about not going to college and staying in town, so I’m glad his dad knocked some sense into him. He got a happy ending and got to see his sister again, so that was nice. Tony always had to deal with so much crap, so I’m happy he ended up happy.

Winston: Now this dude didn’t annoy me as much as I thought he would, but... he was weird. He became obsessed with Monty after meeting him twice, and then obsessed with Alex after dating him for two weeks. What was his reason?? Why did he fall in love so quickly?? I thought we were going to get some backstory to explain his behavior, but we didn’t get shit, except that scene in the first episode with his mom where he seemed like some lonely rich kid. I’m glad he let go of Monty in the end and didn’t ruin Alex’s life, but other than making a bunch of passive-aggressive comments and staring at people, he didn’t do much. The trailer made him seem like some mastermind villain, and in the end... he wasn’t.

Diego: How are you going to spend the whole season calling Clay a psycho/crazy, when you’re out there pulling pranks, beating people up, and defending a rapist?? Check yourself first, Diego. He was so annoying with his “I miss Monty” crap, like how are you going to give a big speech about how great Monty was when Tyler, the guy he raped, was sitting right in front of you??!!  I wish he had faced some consequences for all the shit he did to Clay, like “omg, you brought a knife!!, dude YOU left the knife in there. I’m glad he let things go in the end, but JFC, he was annoying. When Zach told him to suck his dick, I cheered so hard.

Justin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... HA. I’m laughing because I don’t wanna start crying again. Are the writers fucking serious?? After EVERYTHING they did with Justin, turning him into a better person, making him Clay’s brother, getting him back together with Jessica, EVERYTHING...and he dies?? And even before his death, they needed to torture him one last time and kill off his mom, have Clay and Jessica treat him like shit, and make him feel like nobody wanted him. Wow, what a brilliant idea. The series finale would have been perfect if they hadn’t killed off Justin. He deserved to graduate and live a long, happy life. I think the writers just wanted to have one final tragedy and controversial storyline, so they did this cruel and unnecessary crap. I’m disgusted, tbh.

Bryce and Monty: I’m so, so happy we got ZERO Bryce flashbacks and ZERO Monty flashbacks. FUCK these two rapists. I didn’t feel sorry for either of them, and I hope future shows do better and the humanizing of rapists stops. We already know rapists are human, they aren’t aliens who come from another planet, but the focus needs to be on the VICTIMS. I know they weren’t going to bring back Katherine Langford and Brandon Larracuente for a 5-second cameo, but hallucination!Justin should have been hanging out with Hannah and Jeff, not Bryce. Bryce wasn’t Justin’s brother, he treated him like shit and raped his girlfriend, and the whole “it’s okay to love people who do bad shit” is bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with hating rapists/abusers and bad people in general (like racists, homophobes, etc). Well, at least the two rapists are dead and can never hurt anyone again.

Say whatever you want about Hannah Baker, but this show suffered a HUGE loss when Katherine walked out of that door during her final scene.

They should have sent Bryce’s ass to jail at the end of s2, and the last two seasons should have been about ALL the character’s recoveries, with everyone getting proper characterization, good storylines, and focus on the friendships and family dynamics. The murder mystery and cover-up stuff ended up being really stupid and pointless. The writers prioritized shock value over proper storytelling, and that’s a shame because the cast is really talented, and the characters had the potential to be better than what they actually were.

Goodbye, 13 Reasons Why. I’ll check out the cast’s future projects, but the writers/producers can GTFO.

[urfavmurtad]

So while watching Nouman Ali Khan videos today out of self-loathing I came across this lecture from a Georgetown Islamic Studies professor on slavery in Islam from last year, which apparently briefly made news when it happened but was then forgotten. I recognized the guy’s name from a book of his I read a while ago, and at the time I found him one of the more reasonable Muslim apologists, so I gave it a chance.

The first 30 minutes or so are pretty normal and don’t even relate to Islam that much. Slavery as practiced in America is Very Bad, he begins. Not just in the past, but in the present! Prison labor: Very Bad! The Atlantic slave trade: Very Bad! But what if… some slavery… is Not Bad Actually? In fact, what if slavery isn’t even a real thing? Please allow me to quote him:

Slavery cannot just be treated as a moral evil in and of itself because slavery doesn’t mean anything. The moral evil is extreme forms of deprivation of rights and extreme forms of control and extreme forms of exploitation. I don’t think it’s morally evil to own somebody because we own lots of people all around us and were owned by people and this obsession about thinking of slavery as property.

Don’t think of slaves as property… because capitalism, I think? Though not in a Marxist way, because “I don’t think it’s morally evil to own somebody”. Not-slavery was just a matter of smart economic sense, he says. “Slaves in Islamic civilization were mostly investments,” unlike those other, actual slaves who were used for… work?

The point is, owning someone in and of itself is not an innately terrible moral crime. I mean, that sort of thinking is just unhelpful and shuts down conversations. He continues:

I think that’s actually a really odd and unhelpful way to think about slavery. It kind of gets you locked in this way of thinking that if you talk about ownership and people that you’ve already transgressed some moral boundary that you can’t come back from. I don’t think that’s true at all.

Some poor misguided student asks him if this entire line of thought is perhaps insane, because owning people as property is unquestionably a bad and evil thing, to which he replies that, well, Mohammed owned slaves, so how bad can it be?

Are you more morally mature than the Prophet of God? No, you’re not.

Actual quote! Throwing down the Prophet Card ends that discussion.

The topic then moves to sexual slavery in Islam, in particular. Raping sex slaves seems pretty bad. But no, it too is Not Bad Actually. I mean, aren’t we all sex slaves, in some sense?

For most of human history, human beings have not thought of consent as the essential feature of morally correct sexual activity. And second, we fetishize the idea of autonomy to where we forget, who is really free?

None of us are free. Some of us, for example, have mortgages and children that prevent us from having a midlife crisis.

Are we really autonomous people? I mean what does autonomy mean? Can I just drive—can I be like a cowboy and in a movie or an action TV series where I just get on my motorcycle and just ride to the West? No, I got kids. I have a mortgage.

I can’t be a cowboy, so I am un-free, like a sex slave whose male relatives were murdered prior to her being gifted to their killers and raped on a daily basis.

(Oh, did I mention that, according to him, the thing that prompted this lecture is Daesh taking Yazidi women as sex slaves?)

If that solid argument doesn’t convince you that sexual slavery is Not Bad Actually, consider: sex slaves aren’t really that different from a guy’s wife, anyway.

This is not to demean the status of woman in Islam or Islamic civilization at all, but a concubine’s autonomy was not that different from the autonomy of a wife, because for most of human history and most of Islamic civilization, women got married to the person that their family wanted them to get married to. The idea of being autonomous and saying, “I need to be in love with him. I need to go have this, you know, Jane Austen-like courtship with him.” That was hogwash.

I know what you’re thinking: this guy isn’t actually Muslim but is a sleeper agent from Breitbart or something. Look at him, dude looks like a standard right-winger. But no. He’s a white convert who apparently thought “sex slaves and wives are basically the same thing imo” was an appealing philosophy. Unsurprisingly, his twitter and FB pages are now Tariq Ramadan Unofficial Fan Accounts, where he whines about how a guy accused of assaulting multiple (Muslim!!) women is being treated unfairly, along with the usual self-pity.

Shoutout to the noble house of Al Saud for blessing us with men of such strong moral fiber, as always.

[teamsharoncarter-archive]

Hey dude, I'm sorry if my tag give you negative impressions and it triggers problems god knows you don't want to experience. It would be hard to accept different opinions on tumblr because we're communicating in a third medium, misunderstandings are bound to happen. If people in the fandom are actually making your life hell and actually personally attack you, I'm offering ears to your story. I know how shitty people can give anxiety and maybe sharing it can ease your burden. That if you want to

I have calmed down now (who knew chores could clear your mind right?). Also, I want this ask and answer to be public so people know what happened and don’t send either of us hate or whatever. (That’s happened before so it’s for mine and your protection). But if you feel uncomfortable with that, I will gladly delete this post and send it via submission.

Hey I want to say thank you, for apologizing. I would also like to apologize. I was already in a beginnings of a manic episode that I felt in me, and when that volcano just erupted, I “spewed the lava” onto you and you didn’t deserve that so I’m sorry about that. I’m trying to do better with it. And I probably should have been more clear, I will work on that too.

Yeah the five years of being on here were hell. (In fact I have a post labeled “Five Fucking Years [link]” that is the summary of the hell - but no where near explains exactly what I’ve had to deal with.) My blog archive on this one only shows 3 years, but I had two different blogs—and a failed remake for this blog—until I remade into “teamsharoncarter” (tsc is like, my tenth url on this blog omg).

I kinda ranted about the Five Hell Years of Fandom below, it’s kinda long, so it’s under a read more.

So my Fandom Life started way back in 2012 on fanfictiondotnet, and 2013 on tumblr.

First thing negative I ever had happen to me, is that a person reported and had my fanfic deleted because I “falsely advertised on the fanfic summary” as stated on the last review before my fanfic was just Gone. FFN didn’t even warn me or back it up at all. And because people badgered me for an update because I wasn’t Spitting Out A New Chapter Every Hour, the demands made a deadline for something that wasn’t supposed to have a deadline made me worry that people would hate me if I didn’t Immediately Post Now, so I posted One Paragraph chapters that were rushed and gross, because I thought they just wanted quantity, not quality. So then I started getting Hate Reviews because it was rushed and not “proper length for a chapter.” (Thank God for James Patterson for his One Page Chapters that taught me, who cares if it’s one page? You wrote down what you wanted in the story without somehow jamming it into another chapter.)

Imaginary deadline made me anxious like a school deadline, which made me feel bad for not posting anything for months which lead to more anxiety which lead to feeling like crap everyday for not posting which eventually lead to spiraling depression.

So I left fanfictiondotnet behind me. And did a dumbass decision to join tumblr. I’ve seen other authors on FFN talk about visiting their blogs and chat with them and stuff, so I thought it would be a fun place to hang with fellow fans.

I was right for a little bit.

Then I reblogged a post that upset one of my few followers. Next thing I knew, I was getting sent messages about how I’m a menace to society for liking this one couple or something (like if I remember correctly, it was a think it was thalico - about 7 months before Nico was confirmed gay). And so because I said “fuck off” because like, 13 years old, why do you wanna worry about that stuff when all you want is fun right? So whenever I got a message from them, I’d delete it. I’d block them over and over again, because either they were using friend’s accounts or a different computer, I’ll never know. After they were Proven Right that their headcanon was canon, they were like “see! i told you!” as if it was okay for them to constantly harass me because their headcanon that a character was gay was confirmed.

What made me finally leave that blog was that I kinda got into a fight, like we did, but they twisted the words I was trying to say, which I got irrationally angry at, and they vagued me, and also not so vagued me, (which is why I don’t take kindly to that anymore) to their followers, which lead to hundreds of anons in my inbox about how I should die and should kill myself. I tried to tell the person, but they had me blocked after they vagued me, and so I had my friend tell them, but all they got was a laugh in the face about how I was childish for trying to stop what I deserved.

So I deleted that blog, remade another one, where I would just reblog, not comment, not have ask open, not post personal opinions, nothing. Just a simple reblog blog. That didn’t work either because I started to feel lonely, and the only follower I had was my sister.

So I tried FFN again, new account, new fanfic ideas, new ships, new identity, and put a link to my blog on my bio and decided to open up my ask for any convos my readers wanted for the fanfic—specifically things like theories for the next chapter. I even made sure to have three chapters ready, so I would post one chapter per week, which gave me time to write the next one, to give a nice flow. Which was a big mistake. I started to get the same “UPDATE!” messages, so I would post the next chapter anyway because I have a compulsion to please people, which restarted the spiraling because I no longer had the cushion to have more time to write. I though the update demands would shut up if I gave them three in the same day. But then, I also got hate reviews for my fanfics in my ask. About how everyone was Out Of Character or Not Together With Their OTP. And so I deleted the accounts and just started over again.

With this blog.

I started not talking to anyone but the few friends I made on my previous blog. I reblogged a lot of gen stuff, then as a month went by with nothing, no sign of hate, I decided to reblog shippy stuff, I changed my icon to my OTP.

Which upset practically everyone.

I was sent not only that I should die or kill myself, but death threats and rape threats and just weird ass shit. I get sent messages that my otp/fave character was abusive (steve/tony, fave character is tony) and that I was an abuse apologist and that I should be filled with concrete to they could “smash me into a million piece or sculp me into a human being with more decency”. So since then I just would, block anyone who I saw was even a little negative toward the things I loved, because I thought, if I put up the barricade now, they can’t get me later. But then I started showing love to other ships and characters and it would just start all over again. And then people I already had blocked would somehow find my posts, screenshot them, post it making fun of it without removing my url, then send hoards of people after me. And when asked to stop, they laughed at me more.

I changed my url, and saved the old url with a redirect to a “not found” page so they thing I deleted and I was save for awhile.

I posted a picture of me as sharon for halloween - I didn’t have a white catsuit, but I did have a vest like Sharon did in CW so I wore that (2 people recognized who I was trying to be) - and then I got this ask: “You are ugly. So is Sharon. [link]” and yeah my answer was basically “wow anon lol pathetic hate”, it still got to me?

I don’t know what has made me stick it out with this one for so long. Maybe because I have a lot of followers now, maybe because of the friends I made, maybe it’s my “fuck this fuck you i’m staying” spite. I don’t know. I just know that I’m tired.

I’m tired of defending myself and the fiction characters I love. I’m tired of constantly being told by my own invasive thoughts and by real people, that my life doesn’t equal that of a fiction characters. That fiction characters are somehow worth more than me, a living breathing human.

[cbk1000]

I promise this blog will stop being a testament to how shitty humanity is in a bit, but this Netflix series totally opened the floodgates and I’m angry all over again, and writing is the best way I know to get it off my chest. Scroll past this if you don’t want to remember how truly shitty humans can sometimes be.

Believe it or not, I actually have another child rapist apologist story unconnected to the dojo, although it took place around the same time.

Some backstory: I had been friends with this girl since the 6th grade. We were not attached at the hip throughout the years, it was a friendship where we’d go for some time without talking/seeing each other, and then just pick up where we left off. When we were all a bit older and she had moved out of the house to attend college in a nearby town (she was living in an apartment with her boyfriend at the time), she and I started seeing each other a lot more and became pretty close. I’d go up to their apartment and stay pretty much every weekend. This is actually how I met Mr. Jenn; he was a good friend of theirs at the time (we’re still close with her boyfriend; he was actually the best man at our wedding). A year or so of this passes; Mr. Jenn and I are now dating. She and the boyfriend are on/of again because she has this little habit of constantly fucking cheating on him. 

It got to a point where I just had no respect for her anymore and wasn’t at all interested in being her friend. I didn’t bother to formally end the friendship because Mr. Jenn was still friends with her and I didn’t want to put him in a position where he felt he had to choose between a best friend and his girlfriend, so I just avoided her and didn’t really hang out with her anymore. Eventually, the straw broke the camel’s back and I definitively ended it. With screaming. 

So, at this point, she and her boyfriend have broken up permanently; she is already dating another guy. Mr. Jenn is house sitting for his parents one weekend, and she brings this new boyfriend briefly by to meet us. He didn’t do anything particularly notable, was fairly personable, etc. I was fairly neutral about him, because we’d had only a few minutes of interaction. However, when they leave, Mr. Jenn, who has an A+ creep radar, tells me, “I don’t like that guy. Maybe it’s just because he’s not Brad (our friend and her previous boyfriend; also, I’ve changed his name), but I don’t like him in a way I can’t put my finger on.”

A little while later, this girl lets it slip to Mr. Jenn that her new boyfriend is a convicted felon. Naturally, Mr. Jenn is like, uh...what? What the fuck did he do?

We find out that he is, in fact, a convicted rapist. After Mr. Jenn tells me this, I check the local sex registry for him to discover that he is not only a rapist, but a child rapist. What the unholy fuck. 

I tell Mr. Jenn that he can do whatever he likes, but that I’ve not particularly cared for this girl for a while and this is the fucking end, and that I never want to see her again and I am going to explicitly, in no uncertain terms, end our friendship. I said he can still hang out with her if he likes, but I don’t want anything to do with her. He agrees with me; he hardly wants to hang out with a child rapist either.

I call her and ask her to come by my apartment when she has the chance because Mr. Jenn and I need to talk to her. She comes by after work, and asks us what we need to talk about. I tell her that it’s about her boyfriend. 

She actually says, “What about him?” all innocent-like, and it’s at this point I blow my stack while Mr. Jenn calmly stands there because one of us has to be chill. I start yelling at her, because what the fuck do you mean, ‘what about him?’ How can you fucking stand there and look at me like, oh, what could he possibly have done?? when you know he is a CONVICTED CHILD RAPIST?? What the fuck else could I be referring to?

It’s a very short conversation because she quickly storms out. The gist of it is that I tell her it’s fucked up that she is bringing this dude around her young siblings (she had twin siblings who were ten years old at the time) and ask her if her parents know about him; she claims they do. She also tells me ‘he’s great with the kids’. Yeah, I bet he fucking is.

I e-mail her after this because I can’t let it go; I can’t believe she is exposing her very young brothers to this guy. My sister was like 17 or 18 at the time and I wouldn’t have fucking wanted her around this creep. She tells me that she feels very hurt that I attacked her like that, but that she’s willing to give our friendship another shot, but I have to trust her judgement. She tells me that what he did was terrible, but it’s forgivable because he was 13 (his records tell another story, but I’ll get to that later), and he was only ‘doing it to get back at someone’, as if revenge rape is somehow better?? I tell her our friendship is finished, and the only reason I am contacting her is to attempt to appeal to whatever scrap of conscience is left in her to not. Expose. Children. To. A. Fucking. Child. Fucking. Rapist. This conversation changed nothing, except her Myspace status, which afterward said ‘feeling betrayed’ or some bullshit like that. I probably don’t have to tell you that I’m ready to punch babies at this point.

So, it’s me. I can’t let this go. How can her parents let this man hang around their children? Does he babysit them? Is he ever left alone with them? I could not fucking let this go; I told Mr. Jenn they’re endangering those kids, isn’t there possibly something in his probation about not being allowed around children, couldn’t we report this to someone? 

I start researching the situation some more. I call the sheriff’s office to explain the situation and find out if it’s against his probation; they tell me it sort of depends upon how long it’s been since he committed the crime and what exactly his crimes were. The sheriff’s office has a binder full of information on local convicted sex offenders; they tell me I can look at that, and that it contains more information than the website. (All I know, at this point, from the website is that he’s a level 3 offender--highly likely to re-offend; this is the highest level of conviction--and had a very young victim.) 

At this point, I have to go in to testify at the pre-trial of the karate instructor. Afterward, I swing into the sheriff’s office to look at the aforementioned binder. I find out he was actually 16 when he committed his crimes, he had multiple victims, and they were all quite young (I think like 5, but I don’t remember for sure). I then contact the local juvenile detention center to see if I can get more information on the specificity of his crimes (the binder listed the charges, which were all child rape, if I remember correctly, but there are no actual criminal reports) since he was still a juvenile when he committed them (he was in his early 20s at this point). They tell me I can, but because it involves a juvenile (or at least someone who was a juvenile at the time of the crime), they can’t give the information over the phone, and that I have to come down to the center and sign in before I can view the records. No problem; I can do that. (Except when Mr. Jenn and I get down there, they tell me a completely different story, that I can’t view the records, and they can’t give me any information, so thanks for wasting my time on that, guys.) I also tell Mr. Jenn that I think we should call and doublecheck with this girl’s mom that she does, in fact, know that the new boyfriend who’s playing with her kids is a convicted child rapist, because I don’t trust this asshole to have told me the whole truth. I tell him I think it’s better if he makes the call because he actually knows her mom and I don’t; he wants me to do it, because, well, hey, who wants to make the so-your-daughter’s-boyfriend-is-a-child-rapist call? I tell him that I can, but I still think it’s better coming from someone she knows. I tell him to make sure she knows to check the website, check the sheriff’s office if she needs further proof; she ought not to take her daughter’s sanitized version at face value.

He makes the call, and leaves a message saying that he needs to speak with her about something important. She calls him back a while later, and he explains everything that we found: turns out, she and her husband had no clue this girl was dating a child rapist, she had never once mentioned it. She thanked him for telling her, and later called back to update us. She had told her daughter that she was still welcome in the house, but that her boyfriend was not. This girl immediately tried to launch into an assault on me and Mr. Jenn, but apparently her mom shut that down and said, no, this is your fault, you’re the one who brought someone like this into the house without even telling us. The girl then moved out, and shortly afterward married this guy and had a kid with him. Because people are fucking terrible.

I don’t know what’s happened to her since then; I haven’t talked since those few e-mails. I hope her children (I think she has a couple now, or so I heard through some mutual acquaintances) are all safe. Other than that, fuck her.

[judeesill]

on the whole buria situation

i didn’t want to say anything because i didn’t want to fan the fire but shes been posting screenshots with my full name and the posts about it are getting some (albeit limited) traction so i feel like i have to at least state my side of things

like most of you, i am very committed to resisting racism and abuse particularly in our feminist circles so i’m really hurt by these incredibly false allegations. i want to present my side of the story because i feel like it’s not fair of buria to say such inflammatory things about me and my friends without any evidence and i think the fact that allegedly radical women are willing to share them is incredibly suspect, given how much our community talks about the cultish callout culture of liberal feminism. i realise that if these allegations were true it would be deeply fucked up, but i maintain that what happened is not exactly what buria has said. i also do admit that i as a white women am certainly still in the process of unlearning racism and acknowledging my white privilege but racism was absolutely not a factor in anything that transpired on my end. i was acting out of concern for a friend (the much-maligned max mason) who is a survivor of abuse and trauma and who has very much been misrepresented in this situation, and who, like me, is nearly a decade younger than buria.

i’m going to tell this story in vaguely chronological order because that’s the only way i know how. i also don’t have access to screencaps rn but i can summarize them to the best of my ability here and will provide them upon request

buria and i met a few months ago at an irl radfem happy hour in nyc, we talked for a bit and got along fairly well and were thereafter connected on social media

a few weekends ago, a friend of ours organised a protest at the 2017 left forum against the cancellation of a gender critical panel. i was working the left forum and had a lot of people i knew there that i didn’t want to know i was involved, so i avoided being seen with them and instead went inside to find a reporter that had mentioned wanting to talk to them. buria has since made this an example of my racism because i was avoiding women of color, but i would have avoided them regardless of race because i was worried for my personal and professional safety. i know there were some reservations about my micromanaging that action because i drafted the statement we gave out and kind of ran logistics, and i admit i was being kind of bossy but it was 100% bout wanting the action to go well and (i admit, selfishly) wanting to preserve my reputation. i feel like that’s not relevant to this situation, but she’s brought it up so i’m going to clarify.

anyway, a few days later buria became the mod of an nyc lesbian group that the other woman at lf–let’s call her A–was also involved in and they got in an argument bc buria immediately blocked a woman who posted something about bdsm/seeking a sub, and the A said she should have asked the other mods. this spurred her to accuse A (a radical feminist lesbian woc) of being a pedophile apologist/rape apologist/etc.

Buria then messaged Max, a mutual friend of both A and myself, to complain. this is where things get hairy. Max used to be briefly employed as a pro-domme, and from what i can tell she wasn’t involved in sex but just like. whipping dudes. either way that was a short time a long time ago and she is now very much against the kink community, and is a radical feminist. max told buria this, mostly to be like, “full disclosure, i used to be involved in this and think it’s fair to let you know, and also i have experience here, i know what these people are like, i can step in and talk to these women”

this upset buria, who then started harassing max about her involvement and saying that she was a rape apologist, violent, etc. she accusingly asked why max had been involved, apparently ignoring the effects of socialized femininity and grooming, and started harassing her for having been involved because apparently that means she’s inherently an abuser and not to be trusted. mind you, i know max quite well and i know she has a lot of regret over this and as i stated above, is an anti-bdsm radical feminist. buria just wasn’t hearing it. she was relentless and at one point max was fed up and was like “i hope this [attacking me] is cathartic for you” and buria took this as mocking. yeah, it was a little sarcastic, but buria was ruthless and horrible to max.

at this point she messaged me in a ploy to accrue some sympathy because she knows max and i are friends. i take accusations of abuse and violence very seriously, so i started off willing to listen to buria and confront max if need be, but it became clear i wasn’t getting the whole story. i told buria i would deal with it later because i was at work and didn’t have time to reach out to max. finally i realised something wasn’t sitting well with me because i know max is not an abuser in the way buria as describing so i talked to her and heard about all the ways buria had been harassing and triggering her. she texted and fb messaged and found other ways to attack max, and i was like. this is not cool

at this point, i started to ignore buria because i didn’t want to further engage. at one point like the next day she messaged me that was on some “lyndie england guantanamo style shit” which pissed me off because it’s so false and disingenuous and really shitty of her to compare what max has been thru and has in fact been a victim of to something that horrible? so i was a little snarky and asked “literally how” then unfriended her. 

then she posted a long rant calling max a rapist in our irl radfem group, and when people were like whoa hey this is a big accusation can you explain what’s going on she turned on everyone in the comments. people tried to reach out to her and she turned on them too. the last straw was when she began to harass an 18yo friend of mine who really doesn’t need any more shit to deal with, especially not from a woman over ten years older than her. she also found my email address through my university and sent me harassing, accusatory emails, and as you’ve seen, has been posting my name and the names of other women to tumblr.

i’m not trying to call her crazy or irrational because i realise she is a mentally ill trauma survivor but that does not excuse her terrible behaviour. apparently she has done this to other women in the past in various radfem circles on tumblr and facebook, and this time it’s really unfortunate that it’s happening in real life. not to play the “i’m an innocent teenager” card but like. in this case i’m literally innocent and literally a teenager and i am incredibly uncomfortable with the smear campaign she has been waging against my friends and i out of a personal vendetta (won’t get into the details but i feel like this is literally a revenge fantasy for her given some past stuff w her and max). she’s turned on me because i’m an easy target because i indulged her for so long and she knows she can call me racist and ableist and an abuser or whatever and have people side with her and like? that’s fine i am white and neurotypical and definitely not a perfect person but she’s also doing this to women of color and trauma survivors and mentally ill women so i really just can’t sit by while she pulls this shit and so-called radical feminists indulge her bullshit

anyway. sorry for this long stupid personal essay please message me if u have any other concerns i guess i just want this to be over !!!!!

[eeveelutionsforequality]

Trigger warning: Suicide, rape, poop and child molestation.

My Facebook is almost entirely meme pages these days, so my feed is 90% jokes about killing yourself and chronic alcoholism, 5% puns, 1% each for gore, porn, poop and anime, and finally 1% articles (news and opinion alike). And before you ask, yes I have unfollowed the majority of my friends to make room for the aforementioned "It's time to put the I in suicide!" posts - I just relate to those more.

So imagine my shock when my pleasant scroll was interrupted by a post from a page that I shall not name but that can be summarized with "I smoke lots of weed, hate the government, and am likely to engage in revolutionary suicide so that even my death is virtue signaling" - said post being an article about "Pedophile culture". I've seen the article shared on here before (long story short: men like hairless legs, how can we use this to make men look evil? children have hairless legs... aha! lets claim men like children!), but this time I decided to look for some spicy reactions in the Facebook comments, maybe a good "this is bait" picture I could steal... oh how I came to regret that decision.

First I found a comment thread in which a person with Link (some Twilight Princess artwork, to be precise) as their profile picture very calmly and respectfully explained that liking hairless legs could be a number of things - simply not liking the texture of hair, or even being victim to the same brainwashing that the article claims the media inflicts upon women. To which the page responded "^ dude stop fucking kids" (and got 38 likes compared to Link's 18... kill me, just right now, end my suffering, please). Want to convince people that pedophilia is an incredibly prevalent problem caused by sexism? Well don't forget to fire off baseless, albeit jokey, accusations of child molestation at everyone who disagrees with you! That'll really hammer home the severity of the situation!

There was also a comment saying that people who use the term "SWERF" to describe certain feminists are "rape apologists", and some pretty gnarly stuff calling every guy on there who commented about his own preferences towards body hair a pedophile, and then blah blah patriarchy, blah blah women are oppressed, blah blah beautiful hairy pussy - suffice to say, most of the comments were the generic trash that I am used to scrolling past to get to that sweet sweet reaction pic.

But then... well, I'll let these two direct quotes speak for themselves:

[After someone else mentioned the "I'm a pedophile but not a monster" article] "I wholeheartedly agree with you. You're not a monster - you're a man. A rather common man. A microcosmic representation of patriarchy's most prevalent perversions."

"I and every other woman I know has a story of being sexually abused or taken advantage of by an older man when still a child or teenager. It's an epidemic."

Earlier I saw a video in which a man walked into a bathroom stall, did a handstand, and projectile pooped over the wall of the stall. That soaring turd made more sense than whatever twisted logic led these two people to claim that it's common, normal for men to be child molesters, that being a pedophile is simply part of being a man, and that society accepts- no, encourages child molestation... and on top of that, to imply with anecdotal "evidence" that 100% of women were raped by men as children.

Unlike the article, these two people are not simply trying to attribute bad intentions to a perfectly normal occurrence because of their own bias; they're literally claiming that men, en masse, are raping female children to enforce patriarchy (enough female children to be called "common", an "epidemic", the "most prevalent").

There are actual victims of child molestation, sexual assault, rape and child abuse - we get disorders that stick with us for the rest of our lives: PTSD, DID, OSDD, BPD, NPD, AVPD, depersonalisation/derealization, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, eating disorders, fuck I could go on and on and on. It isn't a normal human experience. It's not common, prevalent, an epidemic, it's not something that every woman goes through or that every man wants to do/actually does. It isn't "Oh, there goes Bobby down the road, probably raping kids again, how quaint."

There's something extra sickening about people claiming that child molestation is just what men do all the time to enforce patriarchy. That's not why abusers do what they do. Even if you believe in patriarchy, surely you understand that individual people still do awful things without doing those things specifically to further patriarchy, and that by implying that raping children is some orchestrated global conspiracy amongst men and not the actions of a terrible individual you're fucking with victims and not only how they view their abusers, but how they view men as a whole; not to mention that you're invalidating male victims and victims of female abusers.

It's important to realise that there may well be actual victims reading these comments, and when you say that all men are as dangerous and cruel as their abusers... well, from where I'm sitting, that just looks like you're trying to incite paranoia and mistrust of an entire gender, in people who've already been through enough.

And I haven't even gone into the long rant about how this crime shouldn't be gendered or used to further gender-focused ideologies - about how many boys are victims of child molestation, about female teachers raping male students, about the cultures around the world that include being raped as a part of a boy's "becoming a man" journey, about the number of female abusers especially when you include cases in which there were multiple abusers (Spoiler alert: it's a fuck tonne higher than zero). I haven't even begun ranting about the article itself or the rest of the comments - I haven't talked about how there isn't a pedophile culture, about how it is literally seen as the single most disgusting thing a human being can be.

But I can't put all of my problems with these comments into words right now - fearmongering, lies, gendering child abuse/molestation, belittling the severity of abuse by claiming that it's an accepted everyday tactic that "the system" inflicts upon everyone within it, and more - I'm tired and the world sucks and people suck. It's like they got done diluting the word rape and they had to move on to something worse.

Next week on The Feminism Show: Is patriarchy gang-raping all babies and then feeding them to pigs? The answer may surprise you.

~ Vape

[clydeandjanie-blog]

Not gonna use this blog anymore.

This blog will be delated on sunday. Whoever wants the url, can have it.

In the light of recent events and after thinking and talking for a while to other members of the fandom, I realized I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

Never did anything here anyway but after this mess I realized the quantity of rape apologist around me and how far some fans will go to still idolize a man who has been accused of such crime, and who is also known to be ableist, sexist and a racist.

I don’t want anything to do with victim blamers who prefer to defend a dude like Danny Masterson. It’s disturbing and disgusting and I hope he pays for what he has done.

THREE DIFFERENT WOMAN? After being accused for the same years ago? And you still think he is innocent? You all need to take his dick out of your asses and ask yourself if you really believe a known sexist prick like him is innocent.

It’s awful to see how small the quantity of people actually looking at this without “hoping” it will be go on his favor is. It’s terribly upsetting to see the major bloggers of this fandom not even recognizing the man is a pig and doesn’t deserve our sympathy.

The fact that I won more than 30 followers today (and other major bloggers from the fandom did too, one of them told me) it’s enough to know It’s time to go. This place is full of disgusting people.

Fuck Danny Masterson and fuck this fandom. I'm done here. 

Danny Masterson is a rapist and he can choke on his own dick.

[kidsviral-blog]

GOP Rep doesn’t personally know a 12-yr-old who was raped; Corrected

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/gop-rep-doesnaet-personally-know-a-12-yr-old-who-was-raped-corrected/

GOP Rep doesn’t personally know a 12-yr-old who was raped; Corrected

http://twitter.com/#!/TabithaHale/status/237949548977336320

In an interview yesterday, Republican U.S. Rep. Steve King of Iowa was asked for his thoughts on the Todd Akin fiasco. King avoided commenting specifically on Akin’s remarks and chose instead to focus on Akin’s moral character, calling him a “strong Christian man, with a wonderful family.”

Even in the face of mounting pressure from Republicans for Akin to withdraw from his senate race, King probably wouldn’t have faced too heavy of a backlash from his party for commenting only on Akin’s character. But King didn’t stop there. He went on to produce an extremely cringe-worthy nugget of his own:

King supports the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.”  It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in cases of forcible rape. Right now, Medicaid also covers abortions for victims of statutory rape or incest – for example, a 12 year old who gets pregnant.

Congressman King says he’s not aware of any young victims like that.

“Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way, and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter,” he said.

For the record, it’s important to note that the term “forcible rape” was removed from the bill, and the language makes clear that rape is rape; one kind is no less criminal than another (more on that here). But still. Yikes. Really, Rep. King? Really??? Not only is that statement absolutely ludicrous, but it’s dangerous. As if the GOP didn’t already have to contend with ridiculous charges from the Left that all Republicans are woman-hating rape apologists, King has just made their job more difficult.

Flabbergasted liberals had a field day:

And it continues: Rep. Steve King: I’ve never heard of a girl getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest http://t.co/lHIqS1AM

— Jessica Hullinger (@JessHullinger) August 21, 2012

Rep. Steve King: I’ve Never Heard Of A Girl Getting Pregnant From Statutory Rape Or Incest http://t.co/42ftFMR7

— Vickie (@Vickie627) August 21, 2012

This asshole!-“@TPM: Rep. Steve King (R-IA): I've never heard of a girl getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest http://t.co/X52KtpyH”

— T. (@wlfpack81) August 21, 2012

Based on Steve King's interview, i'm guessing the NRCC and RNC just ran out of duct tape.

— Jason Boxt (@jboxt1) August 21, 2012

The three-ring crazy circus continues. Rep. King: I've never heard of pregnancy from statutory rape or incest http://t.co/ANjbmIVP

— Matt Martin (@voxmatt) August 21, 2012

Please, keep talking, Rep. Steve King.

— ¡ viva Terry ! (@shortstack81) August 21, 2012

This is a NEW kind of stupid. RT @TPM: Rep. Steve King (R-IA): I've never heard of a girl getting pregnant from statutory rape

— The Full Ginsburg (@TheFullGinsburg) August 21, 2012

Dear national GOP: when are you going to ask Steve King to resign from his seat in Congress? http://t.co/VPM2mY49

— Jeremy Stahl (@JeremyStahl) August 21, 2012

.@dccc What cocoon is Steve King living in? Even if he watched the dumbest stuff on boob tube he would know! What is his DENIAL?

— Kleyton Cooper (@kleytoncooper) August 21, 2012

I guess Steve King isn't a big Law & Order: SVU fan.

— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) August 21, 2012

When did The Onion start running GOP messaging? Rep. Steve King: I’ve Never Heard Of A Girl Getting Pregnant From Statutory Rape Or Incest

— Richard Keil (@RDKeil1) August 21, 2012

Needless to say, King’s foot-in-mouthage left conservatives banging their heads against the wall:

@joesegal I'm a pro-life Republican. That doesn't mean Steve King didn't say something extremely stupid that deserves all kinds of ridicule.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) August 21, 2012

What the hell Steve King?

— Joe Brooks (@joebrooks) August 21, 2012

@JeromeEHudson Yeah, but dude. Steve King. Tell me you didn't read that and immediate slap your face.

— Torrey M. Spears (@torreymspears) August 21, 2012

Rep. Steve King, please do not go in front of another mic for 70 days.

— Brad Cundiff (@bradcundiff) August 21, 2012

Todd Akin and Steve King should perform a song-and-dance duet number about fallopian tubes. #BookLearnin' #STOPTALKING

— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) August 21, 2012

Yes, I realize Steve King is saying that he's never *personally* seen rape/incest result in pregnancy. Who cares? USE WORDS CAREFULLY.

— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) August 21, 2012

"Oh dammit… there's an unsent memo here reminding us we WANT to win the Senate this year… anyone see this?!" – GOP

— el Sooper (@SooperMexican) August 21, 2012

Seriously. No more. Please.

***

Update:

RT @GaltsGirl: Yahoo pulled the link about Rep Steve King, because it was crap: Please read http://t.co/b5kA2rWq .

— BiasedGirl (@BiasedGirl) August 21, 2012

In response to the claims of him not believing that pregnancy can occur following statutory rape or incest, Rep. King is asserting that his remarks were taken out of context. Upon further review, we agree. It appears that King was merely stating that he had never dealt personally with a 12-year-old rape victim and not that he did not believe pregnancy was possible for a girl in that situation.

After Talking Points Memo reported the statements, King’s campaign fired back, telling the website that “of course” he was aware that girls have become pregnant from statutory rape and incest and supported people who had not been forcibly raped having access to federal abortion coverage under a rape exemption.

“What he was saying was he personally does not know a girl who was raped,” King spokeswoman Brittany Lesser said. “He never says, ‘I’ve never heard of that.’ There’s a fine line between ‘I’ve never heard of that’ and ‘I don’t know personally anybody who’s been raped.’ There’s a difference. There is a difference.”

In light of the Akin controversy, it can be tempting to pounce on potentially questionable comments in order to defend conservatives from further smears by the Left. But that is no excuse for getting swept up in a media frenzy without a solid understanding of all the facts. In passing judgment about Rep. King prematurely, we played into the hands of the leftist media we pride ourselves on exposing. To Rep. King, we sincerely apologize for putting forth misleading information and for any resulting negative speculation as to your personal character.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/08/21/ugh-rep-steve-king-says-hes-never-heard-of-pregnancy-following-statutory-rape-incest/

[sandwichbully]

Frank from Philly 2: Electric Boogaloo, 16 September 2017

 It’s September, everybody, it’s time to check your Gophers schedule if you want to maintain your soul’s healthy, lustrous coat. Today, I made the mistake of venturing into Dinkytown without first consulting the college football schedule and found I had no fucking way out because the police - who should have been arresting and beating the shit out of everybody but me - had closed off all the exits. It was like they corralling us toward the stadium like some nightmare “Down In The Park” scenario; since this is Dinkytown, the presence of “rape machines” is totally plausible.  Please, tell me you get the Gary Numan reference.  Anyway, there is only one way out of this labyrinth of douche-sluices clad in gold and maroon vertical striped overalls - yes, that’s a thing. That everybody was wearing. Five hundred thousand Clearisil’d goddamned teenage date rapists walking around dressed like Pogo protégés and don’t act like you don’t know who the fuck Pogo is with their Dads behind them wearing cop shades and cop ‘staches, and their main squeeze walking in front of them with her skirt hiked up to her titlets and her chicken cutlet ass cheeks hanging out, not having graduated junior high yet, and not one of these doofus Brock-bros, their apologist dads, or their underaged girlies can pay attention to a crosswalk signal WHERE THE FUCK WERE THE COPS TO BEAT THESE FUCKERS TO DEATH!?  So, as mentioned, I, the lone Argonaut, my brethren slain, surrounded by the gold and maroon gophertaurs, found my one exit from the labyrinth: Just book a straight line on SE 4th to Bullshit Central, the confluence of Hennepin, University, 1st, and some other streets, too. It’s where my union hall is, I can take refuge there. There’s also a White Castle if I need a colonic and the Gopher Bar which nobody can remember if that’s racist anymore after the whole Club Jager thing a week back but the art on the wall is still creepy. Kramarczuk’s is in Bullshit Central, so is Brathaus. There’s that Japanese joint that Ron and Jo took me and Tosha to. Nye’s, god rest its overpriced soul, was over there. Bullshit Central really isn’t a bad place to be if you have fifty dollars and absolutely nothing responsible you have to do with it. If I take SE 4th all the way to Bullshit Central, I can make it home, alive, unscathed. I’m feeling pretty good about this, actually. Two Jehovah’s Witnesses buzzed my apartment while I was jacking off this morning and I just powered through that. I think I can make it.  And that’s when I see it.  Frank From Philly.  Cheesesteaks.  Real cheesesteaks.  I love cheesesteaks.  I have nothing else to live for. I mean, I did make a half dozen jars of pickles today but I don’t think I’ll live through the next ten days, let alone the next ten minutes, given that I’m in The Land That Consent Forgot.  So, that was it. Frank cast out his line. He hooked me. I went inside.  My previous review of Frank’s is a far different animal. I told a tale of suburban gym surrounded by antiseptic teens who’d never touched a cigarette or their own clits. Affable lil’ duders who could sell you a Xanax come midterms. A bunch of kids who looked like they did safe things like check in with their roommates if it got late, dipped their bread in milk, had no intention of ever fucking bareback. But that was summer time. That was when the Hitler Youth’s Townie Division was in full force.  This?  Heh.  This is fucking football season, bitches.  Everything I’ve ever told you about Dinkytown is like something from Bizarro world.  I have never in my life seen so many absolutely sinister looking white kids gathered in one place in the day light. They looked like they want to beat me up just for being old and better sexed. They looked like their genital warts were burning. They looked like they did abortions the way their grandparents did them: a couple kicks to the stomach and a straightened out coat hanger up the kid shitter. And there were about two hundred billion of these absolutely psychotic looking fucks in Frank’s today. My god, the terror.  Fucking football season.  Little Asian lady greets me at the register and asks me how I was doing. I didn’t go into any elaborate detail over how panic-stricken I was at the moment because one: she wouldn’t care. She has to work in this environment and I bet she carries a firearm of some sort. It’s football season. And then two: She’s hot and I want her to think I am strong and capable so she will like me and ask me to stick around until she clocks out so we can go to a bar, have a few drinks, and then she takes me back to her place and her and her identical twin sister roommate take turns pegging me until the sun comes up. So I said, “Good.”  “What can I get you?”  “From behind,” is what my sick man devil brain wants to say but what comes out of my mouth is, “Yeah, I was looking at a cheesesteak. Can I get that with cheezewhiz, peppers, and onions?”  She starts typing on the register, muttering what I think is, “God, this customer is so fucking good looking and refined, not like these short-dicked boys that always come in and out of here,” but turns out to be, “OK, cheesesteak… pppeeepppppeerrss… oooonnnnions…” She looks at me and does not tell me, “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a sexual partner and I would like to give you a tour of our walk-in cooler,” opting instead to say, “You said cheezewhiz?”  I want to say, “Take me to bed and lose me forever,” but I said, “Yeah.”  She asks, “Is that for here or to go?” because you know I’ve beaten this joke to death when I break out a Top Gun reference.  “For here,” I tell her. I’m not going to bike with a sloppy ass cheesesteak in my bag.  And, unlike the last review where there was nothing going on and I had to wait a week and a half for my cheesesteak, in the middle of this crowded, hectic scene, she walks by a guy coming from the back and yells in his face, “CHEESESTEAK!”  I expect him to make it but he looks confused. She starts making the cheesesteak. She’s not wearing an apron or plastic gloves or nothing protective. She just gets right on the goddamned grill like its her fucking personal grill from home and starts chopping fucking steak on the grill.  I go to Trieste for two specific reasons: They have the best gyros in all of Minneapolis - I’ll put money on that statement until someone brings me to a better gyro shop - and I love watching the Greek guy in the kitchen work. It’s like watching Michaelangelo paint the Sistine, this fucking guy. And he wears an apron and gloves.  And here I’m watching this little Asian lady do the same thing on this grill, just -  “Hey, Dustin!”  - just rocking the fuck out of -  “Hey, DUSTIN!”  Sorry, she’s working this grill like -  “Dude, I’m going to sit over here!”  Anyway, she’s -  “Did you already grab your drink!?”  Goddamnit.  See, I can’t even enjoy watching her work the grill because whatever this shit head’s name is is yelling right next to me to let Dustin know he’s going to sit over wherever. I’ll give you three guesses how they were dressed and the first two don’t count.  The Asian lady yelled “CHEESESTEAK!” at the dude from in back again and he kind of ducked as he walked to the back.  Within minutes, however, my cheesesteak is ready. A lot faster than last time. The Asian lady struggles with the cheezewhiz pump and looks at me, handing me the plate. “Cheesesteak?”  I say yeah, thank her, and find the cleanest table for one that I can, with a window to my right and a beam directly across from my chair. To my left, an angry young black man glowers at me over his girlfriend who is unconcerned with anything but her phone and I’m afraid I might have just done something racist.  Did I do something racist?  Oh, fuck, was I being racist?  Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, Jesus Christ. These fucking college kids, man, they’re all fucking football crazy and they’re woke “AF”. It’s bad enough I’m twice their age and I don’t rape people, I’m also fucking racist or something, too. Did I not check my privilege? I came in here and ordered a fucking cheesesteak. With cheezewhiz. And peppers. And onions. Why was this angry young black man glowering at me? Did I just unknowingly do some alt-right shit? Because those guys change their memes all the time. Did they pick up cheesesteaks and nobody told me? Is the cheesesteak the new sandwich of white nationalism? I mean -  Then he looked at his table of white friends and returned to his pizza.  One of the clown-suited white kids got up and said, “Dude, call me,” as he left, presumably to assault somebody and do debit card frauds, and the young black man nodded.  The place was packed with a lot of little white fuckers. White boys, white girls, all straight or straight-seeming. Maybe the dude who glowered at me felt underrepresented. Maybe I did something racist without knowing it. Maybe his pizza tasted like shit.  Anyway, I picked up my sandwich as the conversation behind me turned to the straightest white dude shit you could think of: Hugh Hefner. I looked out the window and saw a dude try to hold another dude’s hand and thought, “Oh, maybe football season isn’t so -”  NOPE! He was just trying to ball-tag him.  Goddamnit.  I was in the nucleus of white jock bros doing white jock bro shit, like picking up kegs and getting young tight strange on the reg. I was the odd man out here, the stranger in the strange land, in my high-cuffed jeans, Frank Sinatra mug shot t-shirt, four week old beard that none of these kids could grow. Not a stitch of U of M color on me or a wisp of alcohol on my breath - it was five thirty, ferfucksake. The angry young black man wasn’t glowering at me. He’d been looking me over. I looked different. I was a white dude but not a white dude from around here.  Or maybe I had done something racist and hadn’t known it.  Still, though, he was probably checking me out and I just caught him at the wrong moment. Like when I saw Todd Trainer coming out of a Dunn Bros and I made my “Is that Todd Trainer?” face right as Todd Trainer looked up at me and saw my “Is that Todd Trainer?” face which, from the way the muscles in my face feel when I recreate it, must look an awful lot like my “Well, my IBS is fucking flaring up again!” face. It’s not a good look. That’s what Todd Trainer saw.  Anyway, I let it go because I had bought the ticket, I had to take the ride. It was time to eat my goddamned cheesesteak.  You’re probably wondering how it was.  I hardly remember the last time I was there, a little over a year I should think. So I can’t really compare it to last time. My meat was cooked, not seasoned, didn’t need it. (Note that, PepperJax. “America’s Favorite Cheesesteak” my sexy Black Irish ass. Lay off all the goddamned Lawry’s.) The peppers were nearly goddamned fluorescent, the onions translucent. The cheezewhiz looked like something I should not be eating, like it was really just plumbing caulk and annatto, but I’ve got a fucking deathwish, like that L7 song, so yeah, fuck it. Little Asian lady, because she was trying to send me signals, doused the goddamned sandwich with it. Like she was happy about it. Like she had a plan that day. She had woke up to kill round eyes and this was her first shot all day long.  It was fucking delicious. It was savory. It was heaven. All that beef grease and cheezewhiz dripped on my wax paper and I just sopped it right back up with the sandwich. As I did, the loud conversations turned to nothing but a gentle thromming around me, like the sound of my mother’s heart while I was in the womb. I had returned to the gentle place, the place before pain, the place of tranquility and security. I was home, my droogs, I was home.  Not around these bros, no. In the sandwich.  I pounded that fucker down in about four minutes.  Then the world came rushing back at me. Saturday. Dinkytown. Sun close to going down. Football season. Jesus Christ, I had to go.  Connors and Bethanies everywhere. A new throng of Bethanies entered as I got up to throw my wax paper away and all their ponytails were tied so high and tight that their eyebrows were in a constant expression of surprise, tight little non-cheeks poking out of skirts. I threw away my wax paper and tried to avoid physical contact, hell, eye contact and I SAW A GUY WITH AN UNDERCUT OH GOD DEAR JESUS HELP YOUR SERVANT PLEASE GOD MOTHERFUCKING JESUS AND MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL DELIVER THIS SINNER DELIVER THIS SINNER OH LORD SONOFABITCH THEY’RE MULTIPLYING! THEY’RE MULTI- DID SOMEBODY GET ONE OF THEM WET!? OH MY GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN BABY JESUS PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL NEVER TOUCH MYSELF AGAIN JUST DON’T LET ANYBODY FEED THEM AFTER MIDNIGHT!  I begin hyperventilating. I need air. I need a pink lemonade. With some Hennessy. And a cigarette dipped in embalming fluid. God sweet lord baby Jesus get me out of here. The exit! I see the exit! If I can just make it to the exit!  I make it! I’m out! I’m free!  I unlock my bike, put on my headphones, and hit start on my phone. Public Enemy. Classic cut. “911 Is A Joke”. I straddle my bike, look briefly through the windows at Frank’s Football Season Patronage. They’re. All. Staring. Back. At. Me.  I swear to god. They’re all staring back at me.  Shit was unnerving.  I got out of Dinkytown before sundown. Came back to the apartment. Slammed back a grape pop.  If you go to Frank From Philly’s, go during baseball season.