#Like my brain just connected them and I can't undo this connection idk

[enjoltrwolfstar]

I don't know how to explain this but Peter Capaldi and Swann Arlaud are the same man in different fonts

[luetta]

i'm going back to what 16 year old me used to do in full swing i think. type to myself on dead forums. wanna know a story about me? i used to post on that nazi reddit alternative website voat. for years. not anything political, i just made a subreddit that was my username and made posts everyday about how obsessed i was about a girl called rebekah in the grade above me. i never talked to her a single time in my life. she was just pretty. hundreds of posts. eventually randoms on the website found my posts through the new section and started commenting how creepy i was. and then i guess i referred to myself as a waitress and they started thinking i was a girl who had a lesbian crush. of course i did nothing to disavow that notion. and then when i was with my friend finlay in class, i was on a school provided laptop, seeing what the suggested autocomplete web searches for a, b, c, etc were. and when i looked up 'v' it came up with 'voat [my username]. i guess on this laptop sometime before i had searched it up. i begged him not to look it up and deleted it all the moment i got home but he just went on internet archive and essentially held this blackmail over my head for about 3 months. at the end of high school finlay wasnt popualr in our group (there was always someone who was the cyberbullied person of the day in our group.) and i honestly did a fucking asshole thing. i always say that i was nice and just a victim of this mean group but i did this thing, which completely undoes all that. there was a barbeque for the entire grade on a saturday, school organised but essentually our own thing. in the discord finlay was wondering whether to come, lots of us were there already. i said that there was barely anyone here lol. and that was a complete lie. i lied and made him miss this event for no reason other than to dogpile on him. that night everyone was fighting and i chimed in and he told everyone about my voat account and also about how we had accidentally discovered each other in a league of legends erotic roleplay discord server. so yeah that was fun. i refused to talk to him for like 2 years lol. anyways. the point of this is to say. that im gonna start doing that again i think. post a bunch of stream of consciousness text posts of angst and self loathing and envy and hatred. cus i feel like shit and that's my self harm. im too much of a pussy to do anything else when i feel like shit. i just sit on the computer and make myself feel worse. this can be my self therapy. getting my thoughts out instead of letting them fester inside my brain forever. i can't be fucked going to therapy properly. it doesnt help cus idk how to articulate anything properly. ill get asked whats wrong and ill be like. i dont know. and honestly thats barely a lie. i dont fucking know whats wrong with me. i know that there is something wrong with me, but i dont know the reason why ive turned out like this. im just a fucking weirdo i think. i literally thought that i wasnt a creep anymore after transitioning, that i figured it out. but nope. im still a fucking creep, thinking about girls that i know, obsessing about them. urgh. i feel like. i've fucked my transition up. i fucked up the choices that i didn't know were choices and now im someone i don't want to be. i just want to be someone else but thats not possible because the person that i am, currently, isn't someone that can be someone else. i know that you can just change who you are ! you can do new things and stop doing old things. you can be someone else. but i just cant. i try but i just always circle back to this. uninteresting blob of a person. who does nothing except sit in their room and wish they were someone else. an uninteresting blob of envy. that's all i am and will ever be, i feel. and that sucks. i dont want to be that, but there's nothing else i can do about that. im too uninteresting and unadventurous and afraid to reach out and form connections to people that i wanna. cus thats how you change as a person. by being with other people. you slowly give each other parts of yourself

[avariceaside]

SPACE VAST OC GANG!!!! please share more about Gracie I'd love to compare :3

Yeah!! Another Vast Oc for the pile!!

Hoo boy where do I start with Gracie. I think she'd have always been a bit obsessed with the space and the ocean as a kid, and become an avatar after nearly drowning on a open ocean diving trip with her parents. She went a bit too deep (fell into a Vast area) and ran out of oxygen, but was just like "eh, worse ways to die. I'll admire the ocean in my final moments" and kinda just, accepted the Vast. Idk how to really put it. It kinda filled a longing in her, a void in her soul that yearned for the endless expanses and infinite blues I think is the best way to say it.

Overall she's pretty carefree, and just uses her powers to chill in the void and/or infinite sky, while occasionally throwing some poor dude into the Vast. I think her favorite would be scaring divers by just chilling underwater in normal clothes way deeper than people should be, or doing the same thing to astronauts but that doesn't really get to happen that often. One time Simon Fairchild got to a victim before her and she still holds a grudge. (She uses his money to pay for uni and other assorted things as 'payback')

Physically when she's not using her powers her hair moves in the air slightly more than normal, almost floating, and her eyes are a very light blue. She also usually wears hoodies/ comfy clothes. When she is using her powers her eyes can shift from an almost glowing bright blue to an endlessly deep blue, like deep space or the depths, and her hair whips around like its in intense wind. Being around her kinda feels like when you're in between sleeping and awake and youre just starting to dream, but then it feels like you trip and you jerk awake, but constantly.

She also has a girlfriend! Her name is Jackie and she's an avatar of the web. They met in high school after Gracie came back from her trip. Jackie was already an avatar and decided to help show her the ropes. They started dating after they started university, which is coincidentally how they got involved with the archives. They needed to get some statements for a project (and bother Elias) and it snowballed into them hanging around and being cryptic at Jon and the others.

Jackie usually keeps her hair up, with one side of her head shaved, and a pink streak in the other. Her eyes are a really deep brown, and when she uses her powers they shift to a bright red. She can also open 6 other eyes, or form more arms, as well as being able to create/ see the threads that connect others and manipulate them. While Gracie is a bit ambivalent towards feeding her fear, seeing it more as a necessity to keep the powers that make her 'whole", Jackie enjoys creating fear and toying with others, even when she doesn't really need to.

Overall I'd say they're rather attached to humanity, and were pretty disturbed by the whole Eyepocalypse, and they definitely tried to help Jon and Martin undo everything. (Although I will say Jackie probably had a little more fun with the whole thing, and Gracie probably didn't hate every part of it soooo).

After the Eyepocalypse they lost their powers and kept a low profile during what I'd imagine would be avatar hunts (if the Simon Fairchild comment was anything to go by), before starting a YouTube channel to boost their image. Jackie is the face and Gracie is the camera and nothing ever goes wrong. They for sure never try and film at a place suuuper connected to the Fears like, say, Hilltop Road, and they for sure don't get pulled into an alternate dimension. No siree!

There's probably a lot more rattling around in my brain about those two, but I think those are the broad strokes. I also realized I've done a shockingly small amount of digital art of the two, so I guess I'll just put what I can scrounge around under the read more because this post is pretty long already :p

ALSO! Thank you so much for sending the ask! If you can't tell I love to talk about my little guys lol

them <3