#Lillehammer Church

[jontycrane]

Lillehammer

Best known for hosting the 1994 Winter Olympic Games, Lillehammer is a quiet and attractive small town at the head of Lake Mjøsa, Norway’s largest lake. It was a pleasant place to spend a day or so, very walkable and low key. The Norwegian Olympic Museum is a good place to start. It isn’t huge but tells well the story of the Olympic Games from Ancient Greece through to the modern day, before…

[maryegallagher]

Lillehammer - An Ideal Getaway

by Deirdre Frost   In so many ways, Lillehammer is a favorite destination for Norwegians and for those with a passion for outdoor sports. Popular with tourists is the exhilarating luge ride down the Olympic-grade toboggan track. Other exciting activities are visiting the ski jumping arena or bobsledding and cross-country skiing in the Olympic Park. The Olympics torch bearer is visible from the…

[hellyeahskwisgaar]

you think toki ever makes solo black metal songs? i was looking through OLD OLD wip fics i never finished, and found one about him comforting himself on difficult nights by returning to his roots and recording some bm songs onto little cassettes when everyone else is sleeping

(eventually he loses one while on a vacation, and the fact that there's a "rare toki wartooth cassette!" somewhere in the world leads fans to quite literally tear each other to pieces in the quest to find and own it)

This is absolutely canon ig everytime his parents threw him in the punishment hole maybe maybe he had a dream of church burning(including his home and the architecture that he built) at the deepest core of his mind—kind of his own rebellion and resentment, and when he came back to his room he might have hide under the desk with a small recorder and started recording vocals hidden from parents’ eyes. Perhaps he recorded all the sound of fierce whirling winds and howling wolves at the snowy mountain of Lillehammer but he couldn’t record drums so he might have asked runke to record it in place of him and the final result would be ambient bm just like Paysage D’Hiver yk

Plus I thought about runke and toki might have made some demo tapes at the storage of Drep Du Selv after toki’s parents kicked him out to the street, but they stuck it somewhere at the corner of a shelf like ‘man this sound quality jævlig sucks’ ‘lofi ams the true black metals don’ts you remembers darksthroune runke’ ‘ja but we’re not him toki let’s dump this’ and both of them totally forgot about it

After toki became the member of dethklok, while runke was cleaning up his storage he might have found their old demo tapes, and he’ll recall the past memories of his friend who had now turned too digital

[masonjarsmoments]

Top 5 tennis players

Top 5 animals

Top 5 memories

Top 5 Tennis Players:

There are some new faces on this list but they just robbed my hart in storm

1. Casper Ruud - home boy (when I got into Tennis for the first time in 2017/18 I scrolled down in the rankings until I found the first Norwegian and said you are coming home with me when I found Casper somewhere in the 140s and he was my favourite ever since) only player I've seen playing live and talked to so far

2. Andrea Petković - home girl and I don't care that she isn't active anymore because for me she is Tennis and the main reason I fell in love with this sport - she is an icon, one of the prettiest women I've ever seen and her way with words is everything. I love her both want to be her and be with her

3. Daniil Medvedev - definitely wouldn't have thought that when I first started watching tennis because I was a Stefanos girl back then and kinda disliked Daniil ?? Crazy I know. I love how different he is in so many ways his tennis persona is so unique smart and extraordinary and then he is just a nerdy dude that might look a but boring sometimes off court the perfect mix.

4. Aryna Sabalenka- I just want her to give me hug with her strong arms, smile at me and tell me that everything will be fine.

5. Andrey Rublev - I just want to hug him with my not strong arms smile at him and tell him that everything will be fine. He is sunshine and rain in one and even though I am a rainy day autumn girly myself for him i hope there's more sunshine than rain.

Top 5 animals:

1. Elephants - my first stuffy that i had and still cuddle today is an Elephant called Elefanti

2. Cats - I grew up with cats and they are just the best - really don't trust people who dont like cats

3. Kuhs (cows) - its a group chat thing but they are also just cute

4. Sheep/lambs - kinda random but look st them ?? Also I spend so much time at the north see there's no way around them (literally we were in the middle of a horde once and had to wait for an hour )

5. Penguins - just loyal and there was this gay penguin couple in our zoo and they were everything to me

Top 5 Memories (this was such a hard one)

1. My first ballet production I've danced in when I was 8 years old - it was just amazing (besides the costume I was a shellfish and was wearing a weird thing on my head) mostly because of the time that we spend together before and after our part (I was on stage for a total of 10 min) because we just were in one of the classrooms watching barbie movies and playing sing star.

2. First time I went to Lillehammer and saw Lysgårdsbakkene Hoppanlegg because she is beauty she is grace and Lily is home. Also every other time i went there especially Raw Air 2020 with my wonderful friends, Pero winning, Stephan podium, a wild Fannis that nearly killed us with his stares, inside jokes it was just a great time.

3. All the group chat road trips because I can't choose but here are some highlights: Ruhpolding, the cheesecake in Berchtesgaden, playing UNO in the car while waiting for the rain to stop, Picknicks in the sunset, cross country skiing, our raod trip Playlists, Ireland, watching les mis together in London from the first row.

4. Our school trip to Poland in 10th grade it was a tough one because it was all about remembering the Holocaust and we had to prepare presentations and there was a survivor who told us their story and we spent a whole week in Oświęcim working on a project and spend a lot of time in both camps for research. We learnt so much and it shaped us all it was a really impressive time and i am still so grateful that we got the chance to do this.

5. Spending time with my Aupair friends in Norway especially all the Sunday afternoons in espresso house, Kristiansand in winter (not to recommend but we made the best out of it) skiing together, our the voice evenings, evenings at the German Church, tacco kveld, 17.Mai and so on

[deathcrushedcorpse]

I wrote infodumps on both Mayhem and DSBM. I figured I’d add them here. These were both written after learning from word of mouth from other metalheads and through chat forums regarding the opinions of these things. Not everything may be accurate, and that’s fine. I may also write more in the future about bands like Psychonaut 4, Lifelover, Apati, My Useless Life, Shining, Strid, etc. I’m always open to discussion on these btw, and my ask box is open if you’d prefer to remain anonymous. :)

Mayhem infodump

OKAY so Mayhem was founded in 1984 by Øystein Aarseth- more commonly known by his stage name of Euronymous- and consisted of himself on guitar, Necrobutcher on bass, Manheim on drums, and Maniac on vocals. The lineup changed a few years in when Manheim decided to leave the band and Jan Axel aka Hellhammer took his place. In 1988, Pelle Ohlin- more commonly known as Dead- joined the band. This was truly the golden age of Mayhem in my personal opinion. Dead was known for his raw talent and dedication, going as far as to huff the smell of dead crows before performing and burying his stage clothes DAYS in advance to truly embrace death and the look of being a corpse. Dead also created the look of corpse paint- and terms- we have currently, using it to further push his appearance of being a corpse. After a few years, on April 8th 1991, Dead took his life via slitting his wrists and throat before taking a gunshot to the head. In his suicide note, he goes over his personal views on his existence- or feeling of lack there of- before leaving Euronymous the lyrics to the song Life Eternal. Euronymous is who found Dead's body, and ended up posing his corpse to then photograph it. One of these photos would later be used for the bootleg live record album Dawn of the Black Hearts. Necrobutcher was disgusted by Euronymous' actions, as he had also made necklaces out of pieces of Dead's skull. Necrobutcher then left Mayhem. After this in May of 1991, Euronymous opened his record shop Helvete (Norweigan for Hell). It became the home for his group- The Black Circle- and members of said group actually lived there at different points in time. Euronymous also went on to create his label- Deathlike Silence- and signed on Mayhem (obviously), Burzum, Merciless, and Abruptum to name a few. Euronymous also invited Varg to become the bassist of Mayhem shortly after the burning of Fantoft. I already mentioned the first church burning, but on August 21st 1991, Faust of Emperor murdered a man in Lillehammer. Many believe this to have been a hate crime because the man was gay, but Faust himself has said that it was because the man made unwanted sexual advances on him. It's up to personal interpretation. The night after on August 22nd- suspected to be in celebration- Faust, Varg, and Euronymous burned down Holmenkollen Chapel in Oslo. Varg later proceeded to be retarded (shocker!) and out himself as the one responsible for the church burnings to the press in an attempt to create a panic. After being released for lack of evidence, he then left Mayhem. Years go by, and inevitably Euronymous writes a contract for Varg to sign that would transfer ownership of Burzum from Deathlike Silence back to Varg. In an absolute rage, Varg and Snorre of Thorns drove 7 and a half hours from to Euronymous' apartment on August 10th 1993. Varg's account of the night is unreliable, as he claimed he acted in self defense. It is widely believed that after Varg was told about a comment Euronymous had made about wanting to torture and kill Varg in the woods to make a snuff film, he became aggressive and paranoid. So when he went to Euronymous' apartment, he acted on that aggression. Although Varg himself claims that after signing the contract, Euronymous became erratic and attempted to stab him, there is no evidence to back this. Varg was captured 9 days later on August 19th, and was charged for the murder of Euronymous, 4 counts of arson for the church burnings, and for possession of 150kg of explosives. He was sentenced to 21 years in prison on May 16th 1994. Also in 1994, Faust was captured and sentenced to 14 years in prison for the murder of the man in Lillehammer. Varg only served 15 years in prison and was released in 2009. He attempted to return to metal, but was never accepted and is currently seen as one of the most massive clowns in metal history.

DSBM infodump.

DSBM is short for depressive suicidal black metal!!! It focuses heavily on themes of self destruction, self mutilation, suicide, anti humanity, negative emotions and energy, and emotional instability. Some notable names in DSBM are Shining (sadly), Livelover (my beloved), Xasthur, Silencer, Nocturnal Depression (also my beloved), My Useless Life, and Psychonaut 4 to name a few. The band members often genuinely live the lifestyles they write music about, often being completely isolated, heavily addicted to drugs, alcoholics, engage in violent self mutilation, and other self destructive behaviours. It is extremely common for DSBM bands to only have one member since isolation and bitterness is a huge theme of the music.

It's heavily believed that the first *true* DSBM band was Shining- which was founded in 1996 in Halmstad, Sweden after their frontman was heavily influenced by bands like Strid and albums like Hvis lsyet tar oss and Filosofem by Burzum (shit band). Shining's frontman and founder Niklas Kvarforth was *KNOWN* for being extremely aggressive and for promoting anti recovery ideals, claiming that his music should be encouraging the listener to self mutilate- or even kill themselves- or else they weren't *truly* experiencing his music. He was also known to be extremely self destructive and abusive to his bandmates, even going as far as to have ex-Mayhem vocalist Maniac carve a swastika into his forehead before enacting violence towards various band members on stage during their most infamous performance.

DSBM has grown over the years and is now commonly associated with being used for coping, allowing the listener to experience the musician's pain with them as a way of feeling less alone.

The downside to this genre is that it tends to attract bad crowds (mostly nazis and predators who wish to prey on the mentally ill), case in point being musicians like Niklas, Maniac, and even the infamous 2 guys 1 hammer killers who had a russian DSBM band by the name of Dismembered Pugachova I believe. People commonly mistake the DSBM scene and the music as an excuse and community to be hateful towards minorities because a lot of DSBM artists and black metal artists in general truly believe in satanism im the form of spreading misery, pure evil, and absolute chaos.

There are so so so so many occasions of DSBM- and black metal bands in general- participating in acts of self mutilation, animal cruelty, and other disturbing acts during their performances. Shining actually in the past has passed out razor blades at their shows, even to kids. During Shining's infamous performance with Maniac and other popular BM band members, Niklas noticed a kid in the crowd singing along to every song and at one point, pulled him up on stage and handed him a razor blade and encouraged him to cut in front of the crowd. To which the child made a small slit across his palm to appease Niklas.

DSBM and black metal- while having an extremely troubling history with band members and appearances- is truly what paved the way for metal bands that everyone loves and adores today. Hell, Dead from Mayhem is who created corpse paint as we know it today and even *coined* that term. The Black Circle in Norway- created by Euronymous of Mayhem- was one of the most influential black metal groups in the black metal scene KNOWN TO MAN. The group consisted of all members of Mayhem, all members of the band Emperor, Varg Vikernes of Burzum, and Snorre of the band Thorns. They created the elitist mindset of the black metal community in Norway, making the scene so INSANELY hard to get into if you weren't already a part of it. The scene was so exclusive and extremely aggressive towards who they deemed posers. The Black Circle has also been deemed the most Satanic group in black metal history, even having challenged the Church of Satan by saying they "only wanted peace and love" when Satanism should be about spreading "misery, evil, and pure chaos".

The first church burning in the name of black metal and Satan was carried out by Varg, Faust of Emperor, and Jorn of Immortal on June 6th 1992! They burnt down Fantoft Stave Church in Oslo, Norway. This led to a HUUUUUGE string of church burnings (there is believed to be 60+ linked to black metal) during this time. Even when Varg was arrested for the murder of Euronymous (and charged with 4 counts of arson), there were two church burnings during the time of the trial which were suspected to be fans showing their support for him. Which is fucking stupid because that fuckwit's a nazi but wtvr.

[thewaynorth-trilogy]

Dragon’s head finial at Garmo stave church; Maihaugen; Lillehammer, Oppland, Norway

[eugene114]

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/torahreading_cdo/aid/1019608/tdate/10-10-2022/p/1/jewish/Text-of-Torah-Readings-for-Sukkot.htm

31You shall keep My commandments and perform them. I am the Lord. 32You shall not desecrate My Holy Name. I shall be sanctified amidst the children of Israel. I am the Lord Who sanctifies you, 33Who took you out of the land of Egypt, to be a God to you. I am the Lord.

Luke 18

18A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

19“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’ a ”

21“All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.

22When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

23When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. 24Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

26Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”

27Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

28Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”

29“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God 30will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”

Take time to be holy—speak oft with thy Lord, Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word, Make friends of God’s children, help those who are weak, Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek!

Take time to be holy—the world rushes on; Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone. By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be; Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.1

Erichsen, Thorvald (1868-1939)

The Church and the Bank. Lillehammer 1933

[simplyforestkate]

Roadtrip Sweden And Norway – Part 5

Borgund and Lærdal

After Lærdal we visited the Borgund Stave Church which is situated just a few kilometres away from Lærdal. We didn’t took the main road, instead we choose more scenic and less crowded side road. Borgund Stave Church was built sometime between 1180 and 1250 AD and it still amazes me how well it is preserved. The nearby graveyard will all the gravestones gives it even more magnificent sight. And to be honest I was expecting to be a bit bigger, or just because all churches we have here in Slovenia are so big.

Our road to Lillehammer, finally with some pine trees!

In the distance you can spot our perfect house – with a dock and a boat. Oh and the view when you wake up!

Lillehammer

And here it is our final destination, before we headed back home – Lillehammer. We arrived here pretty late and just went to rest. Next day we visited the Olympic sites and walked a bit around. We were surprised how well all the structures are still well preserved and still used, but not just sport teams, that arrive here to practice, but also by locals for recreational use.

We didn’t know how much time it will take us to arrive in Oslo, since it was Monday that day, and we heard that traffic can be quite bad. So we continued our voyage back. On our way back we stopped at Oslo ( we don’t like big cities, so we didn’t plan that much time there), Strömstad (yay Sweden – we stayed here for a couple of days in a camp and relax), Göteborg (our still favourite of all cities we visited), Lund, passed Malmo, København, Frederiksborg castle (which was great and we spent the whole day there), Roskilde (great open Viking museum, where you can craft your own viking ship!), Jelling and Ribe.

[n0ctvrna]

Lillehammer 2020

photography by: photographer_from_hedmark 

Edited by: @n0ctvrna

[leibal]

Brick House with Tower is a minimal residence located in Flugsrud, Norway, designed by Sanden+Hodnekvam Architects. Through history, the area around the lake of Mjøsa has long traditions with masonry. It has been the home of 25 brickyards and both the railway station and the church in Lillehammer are made in brick. Brick is a durable material with a weight and character providing it with a timeless quality.

[koikishu]

Parade of Nations - Slovakia

French: Slovaquie // English: Slovakia // Japanese: スロバキア (Surobakia)

    Slovakia formed its National Olympic Committee in 1992 and participated in its first Olympics as a country at the 1994 Lillehammer Winter Olympics. They haven’t hosted any Olympic Games, but they’ve participated in 6 Summer Games and 7 Winter Games. The Olympic sports in which Slovakia has medaled are Athletics, Canoeing, Judo, Shooting, Swimming, and Wrestling.

Kimono Maker: Norishige Sugimura/ 杉村 典重

    “Behind the beech forest is the world heritage site "Spiski Castle", which has been the setting for many historical events. You can feel the magnificent spread of Slovakia in the "Tatra Mountains" seen between the clouds. Various colors create a mysterious world view that does not make you feel the seasons and time. The beech tree can be seen in the "canoe paddle" that is flourishing in Slovakia, and the individuality of the author who is good at deformed design is demonstrated.”[1]

Obi Maker: Obihiro Co., Ltd./ おび弘

    “We interviewed from the mosaic painting of the church of St. Elsabeto in Bratislava, the capital, and carefully woven it by the technique of hand-woven spliced book bag.” [1]

Bibliography

Source 1 – Kimono Project for Slovakia

(https://kimono.piow.jp/nation/185.html)

Index Page – IOWKP x Tokyo 2020 Parade of Nations

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Toki’s Psychological State Through the Seasons

Toki is by far for me personally the most interesting member of Dethklok; I know to some degree he’s deemed as a potentially over hyped character by fans and even the show itself, but there’s countless reasons why people cling onto that character, and they’re good reasons. Even if said reasons just come down to “I think he’s neat.” that’s valid.

For me I am so fascinated with his character development, personality, and the varied chunks of background information we get about him throughout the series. A big part of this character is that when you look at him in season one compared to season four he is very different or at least he appears to be much different. Season one does establish that Toki does have a childish personality, his bedroom looks more like a room for a kid than one for a guy in his 20s. Season one establishes those basic facts about him that do heavily carry out through the show, but also increase as the show goes on.

Toki goes from immature but not overly immature to....a complete fucking wreck by the finale of season four (before Doomstar) and the reason for it is simple; it’s trauma.

Toki starts to act differently in season one after the Dethfamily episode; he spends practically that entire episode in a catatonic state, his parents always looming nearby like figures of danger and doom. After this we do get to him being bitter about being seen as immature and seen as the kid of the band (despite the fact he was barely 16 when he joined Dethklok) and when a charity informs him that a dying girl wants to meet him he turns into a complete prick. He finally comes out of that when he sees a video the kid made of herself singing a song about death and hatred, with that scene we see a small flashback of Toki’s childhood; him about the little girl’s age standing out in the snow staring up at his parents looking confused and a moment later he’s being smacked across the face. 

We could already gather beforehand when we found out he came from a very devout religious sect outside of Lillehammer that his childhood was sketchy, plus how he locked up when around his parents, but seeing the flashback of him being hit as a little boy.....Answers the obvious question of “did they beat him?”

Season one is the least eventful of the seasons. Season two is when shit begins changing drastically.

Season two Toki receives a call to inform him that his father has cancer and is on his death bed, the family and the church wants him to return to Norway to see his father. He acts completely fine about this initially, the phone conversation and the way he announces his father’s terminal illness to the band is as if somebody just asked to borrow his car. When it gets close to time to actually go and when they are in Norway it’s different though; he becomes anxious and clearly uncomfortable, in Norway he stays in town mostly, stalling around places he went to as a kid and a teenager before he ran off to America. 

He does handle his father’s dying well once he finally convinces himself to go inside his house and see him then follow through with his father’s dying request to carry him up to his old childhood home (which goes wrong because his friend’s are dicks.) 

I am not going to go into personal detail at all and my situation was nothing like Toki’s (it’s incredibly rare to hear situations like that anymore), but Toki handling his father’s passing freakishly well kind of was a red flag for me, because I know from my own experiences that when you find out something complicated like a terminal illness or the death of your abusive parent theres’ a chance you may respond way too calmly to it, and then later down the line days or months or years later something will trigger a big reaction to it. Which is what happens.

After handling his dad’s death well we get the most iconic scene involving Toki at that point and honestly still the most iconic; he beats a man to death with his bare hands. The thing that triggers this is a hallucinated image of a rabbit, an animal he associates both with his father and his childhood, the image of it triggers him to fly into an insanely feral blind rage taking it out on a guy who had been annoying him all night. Toki has always throughout the entire series shown signs of being a tad violent, but never THAT bad. Sure he shot down a plane and had accidentally caused a death or twenty (the whole band is, it’s part of the sacrifices to the Gods deal) but we had never seen him before or after that moment beat somebody to death. That is new and it came from a place of pent up....shit. Shit he never worked through and even after that continued to not work through.

Because after this we lead into him worsening further; he begins drinking. A lot. The band consist of dudes with addiction issues, mainly alcohol, but Toki never seemed to drink quite as much as them until after he went feral on that straight edge guy. 

Toki deals with his childhood trauma in several ways:

He drinks. A lot.

He focuses on fantasy and daydreams to keep himself from focusing on his past.

He spends a lot of time with Dr. Rockso who takes advantage of his kindness often, he also spends gross amounts of money bailing his clown buddy out of jail. Constantly.

He occasionally gets violent, but never to the point of manslaughter.

Seasons three and four are when we get fully introduced to Toki acting like a kid more than a guy in his 20s and it makes sense. Toki didn’t have a childhood; we learn that his parents essentially made him into a slave at a young age having him do pointless “chores” like sweeping snow during a storm, carrying stacks of wood much too heavy for a small child, etc. and when he failed to work quickly enough or failed a task they punished him. They punished him by locking him in a shed, they punished him by chaining him up like an animal, they punished him by smacking him, by beating him with a bull whip, and worst of all (who knew it could get worse) they would force him to stay for long periods of times in a deep hole dug into the ground. A hole where he hid a clown doll made of twigs and straw, the only friend he had as a little kid.

From all that we can gather through the show he didn’t exactly have a social life of any kind until his teens, the older he became the braver I think he became, and that was responded to with worse violence from his parents. I think the statement in season one about a vision of father killing son wasn’t totally off, I think if Toki had never run away from Norway that his father would have murdered him. I think his parents knew somehow that he isn’t entirely human, they knew he was something else, and I do think his parents had plans to kill him before he could become “too powerful”. 

That aside though.....Once we the audience as well as his friends find out far more details about his horrifying childhood Toki changes. A lot. He’d already been immature and a tad bit off but he regresses further after that, more prone to depression and outbursts, clinginess, and a need to feel like he’s loved by pretty much anybody.

This is a dude who is about my age that came to the horrid realization that any person or animal he loves will die because that’s his “gift”, the gift of death. He works his ass off to repress and rationalize a brutally nightmarish childhood, and the guys he’s in a band with who he loves and sees as his family....are dicks. We know that when he joined Dethklok before they got famous that they were all close, but when they began becoming popular and became immensely wealthy the others became more focused on self indulgence and power, less focused on this still a child who desperately just wanted a family.

I think a key factor with Toki being the way he is comes down to the band’s “no caring” rule. A rule that only existed because of Magnus. Toki is the baby in a group of people who have known each other for a good while, people who came to an agreement to not give a shit about each other for a reason they never explained to him because it’s too painful for them to think about. I think he always tried to live by that rule of not caring, he tried to bury all the shit wrong with himself the best that he could but he was never good at it. It’s also clear they all care about each other and they definitely care about Toki; Nathan and Skwisgaar often being the most protective of him. 

In season four aka the season where the show becomes less of a comedy and more of a drama with stunning animation. Toki is immensely more immature and awkward, he’s clingy with the band especially where Skwisgaar is regarded. Near the end of season four he’s completely fucked up; he splits his time between Rockso (his comfort object) and Magnus (a father figure to replace Nathan) in the dinner episode which has so much going on in it. So much. Toki is at his lowest point in the series; he shows up late, drunk as fucking hell, shirtless, and covered in bruises and cuts. Rockso is with him and when Charles tries to tell him Rockso shouldn’t be there Toki goes into a full fucking anxiety attack until Charles tells him it’s fine to have the clown there. Toki’s heavily dependent on Rockso by that point; his found family is quickly falling to shit. God knows what kind of shit Magnus might have been feeding him about the band at that point. 

Toki’s entire thing from day one/the pilot of the series is that he just wants a family. When he feels like he doesn’t belong in the one that he found and was taken in by he searches for family in other places, when he can’t handle the memories of his childhood he spirals hard. I understand that the guys didn’t really know how to handle it after they heard about Toki’s childhood so I can’t fault them completely for just.....shoving him off onto Rockso after that, but I still think they should have tried to be there for him more so, more directly. I think an outlet that isn’t a drug addled clown might have helped him in some way, I think if when he’d been a teenager if one of them had found out about his upbringing and just pointed out “that isn’t okay, at all.” then things might have panned out differently. 

Mental regression isn’t uncommon when it comes down to victims of trauma caused by extreme abuse. Especially considering his trauma all occurred basically from the get go; he was a child slave, the closest I would guess he ever got to having a childhood when he was a kid was seeing other kids childhoods. Going into town and seeing kids playing, sneaking into birthday parties just to be around other kids his age, etc. and he definitely was childish as a teenager, but I think he tried to bury that side of himself when his bandmates started teasing him or pointing out how unmetal it all is.....But then a douche bag journalist brought his parents to America, a little girl died, his abusive father died horribly (as he should) in front of him, he beat a man to death (allegedly), etc. 

He spent a lot of years away from all the trauma and the death and the bull shit then suddenly it started piling on top of him again and his escapism was fantasy, clinging onto a junkie clown, partaking in childish hobbies.....because why not? 

Each member of the band suffered some messed up shit when they were kids and it shows in different ways, this is Toki’s way of dealing with it....or not. I’m not entirely sure what his psychological state would be post Doomstar; the way he bounces back from immense trauma makes me think that he would be okay given some time and that’s a safe assumption to make, especially now that his bandmates/family will be there for him the way he needs them to be.

I want to tag @theidiotwiththepaintedface who hopefully will enjoy this painfully long deep dive into a character’s psychology lol.

[xmasqoo-haineke]

Per aspera ad astra (phrase meaning) … Not to be confused with "Per ardua ad astra." … * *  * "Ad astra per aspera" redirects here. For other uses, see Per aspera ad astra (disambiguation). Disclosure: This article may need additional citations for verification.  Find sources: "Per aspera ad astra" – news · newspapers · books · scholar · JSTOR (June 2020)  "Per aspera ad astra", from Finland in the Nineteenth Century, 1894 Per aspera ad astra (or, less commonly, ad astra per aspera) is a popular Latin phrase meaning "through hardships to the stars". The phrase is one of the many Latin sayings that use the expression ad astra, meaning "to the stars". Contents 1 Uses 1.1 Governmental entities 1.2 Military and government 1.3 Literature 1.4 Music 1.5 Anime 1.6 Educational and research institutions 1.6.1 Australia 1.6.2 Austria 1.6.3 Botswana 1.6.4 Ecuador 1.6.5 Estonia 1.6.6 Honduras 1.6.7 India 1.6.8 Jamaica 1.6.9 Japan 1.6.10 Macau 1.6.11 Maldives 1.6.12 New Zealand 1.6.13 Nigeria 1.6.14 Norway 1.6.15 Pakistan 1.6.16 Paraguay 1.6.17 Philippines 1.6.18 Romania 1.6.19 Russia 1.6.20 Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 1.6.21 Slovakia 1.6.22 Slovenia 1.6.23 South Africa 1.6.24 Sri Lanka 1.6.25 Sweden 1.6.26 Tajikistan 1.6.27 Ukraine 1.6.28 United Kingdom 1.6.29 United States 1.7 Fraternities and sororities 1.8 Popular culture 1.9 Others 2 See also 3 References 4 External link Uses[edit] Various organizations and groups use this expression and its variants. Governmental entities[edit] Duchy of Mecklenburg-Schwerin[1] State of Kansas (Ad astra per aspera)[2] Municipality of Cheribon, Netherlands East Indies[3] City of Gouda, The Netherlands[4] Honored Scientist of Armenia[5] Military and government[edit] Department of Civil Aviation, Thailand[6] Military Technical Academy in Bucharest, Romania[7] National Defence Academy of Latvia[8] South African Air Force[9] Spanish Air Force Hon. Julie Payette, 29th Governor General of Canada[10] Royal Life Guards (Denmark) Literature[edit] In Kenta Shinohara's Astra Lost in Space, it is inscribed on a plaque on the bridge of the ship that the crew subsequently decided to name the Astra.[11] In Kurt Vonnegut's The Sirens of Titan, it was quoted as both the motto of Martian Imperial Commandos, a unit within the larger Martian Army, in addition to being the motto of Kansas, U.S.A., Earth, Solar System, Milky Way. In Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird", it was quoted as the motto of Maycomb, during the school play. In James Joyce's "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man"[12] In Pierce Brown's "Red Rising" book series it is a common phrase used by the Golds of The Society. In M.L.Rio's "If We Were Villains" it is the motto of the Dellecher Academy. Music[edit] The subtitle of Moritz Moszkowski's set of fifteen Études de Virtuosité for piano, op. 72 (published 1903). The subtitle of Charles Villiers Stanford's Piano Trio No. 3, Op. 158 (1918). The title of the fourth album by ambient music duo Stars of the Lid (1998). The subtitle of Sergei Bortkiewicz's 3rd piano concerto (1927). The title of a song by Spiritual Beggars from their album Ad Astra (2000). The title of a song by Haggard (band) from their album "Eppur Si Muove" (2004). Acceptance has an instrumental track on their Phantoms album titled "Ad Astra Per Aspera" (2005). The title of the second album (2011) by Abandon Kansas. Per Aspera Ad Aspera, the name of a best-of album by the band ASP (2014). The title of a march by Ernst Urbach op. 4 (1906). The title of an album of marches by the Royal Norwegian Air Force Band. The title of a composition by Hasaan Ibn Ali from his second Atlantic recording, never released, the master tapes of which were destroyed in the Atlantic warehouse fire of 1978.[13] The subtitle of an instrumental song by the symphonic metal band Nightwish (2020). Anime[edit] Mentioned in anime Astra Lost in Space on the Ark Series Spaceship which is later named as ASTRA. Educational and research institutions[edit] Australia[edit] Queenwood School for Girls, Mosman NSW Woodville High School, Adelaide Albury High School, Albury, New South Wales[14] Girton Grammar School, Bendigo, Victoria Austria[edit] Universität Klagenfurt Botswana[edit] St. Joseph's College, Kgale Ecuador[edit] Instituto Nacional Mejía,Quito, Ecuador Estonia[edit] Keila-Joa Boarding School, Türisalu[15] Jakob Westholm Secondary School, Tallinn[16] Honduras[edit] Escuela Nacional de Música, Tegucigalpa Instituto Salesiano San Miguel, Tegucigalpa India[edit] Clarence High School, Bangalore, Karnataka, India - Motto of Redwood House (Ad Astra) St. Augustine's High School, kalimpong, District:Darjeeling, India Maulana Azad Medical College (MAMC), New Delhi, India The Frank Anthony Public School,Kolkata,India The Frank Anthony Public School, Delhi, India - Motto of Ranger House St Joseph's High School, Dharwad, Karnataka, India Antonio D'souza High School, Mumbai, India Technology Research and Incubation Centre, Dimapur, Nagaland Jamaica[edit] Immaculate Conception High School, St. Andrew Mount Alvernia High School, Montego Bay Japan[edit] St. Francis Church, Tokyo, West-Hachioji, Gnosis Essene (HP) Macau[edit] Postgraduate Association of University of Macau, Macau Maldives[edit] MNDF Fire and Rescue Services Training School, K.Viligili New Zealand[edit] Rotorua Boys' High School, Rotorua Nigeria[edit] Ilupeju College, Ilupeju, Lagos Lagos Secondary Commercial Academy, LASCA Kalabari National College, Buguma, Rivers State Oriwu Model College, Igbogbo, Ikorodu Norway[edit] Stavanger Cathedral School, Stavanger Sortland videregående skole, Nordland Lillehammer videregående skole Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) Pakistan[edit] St Patrick's High School, Karachi St. Patrick's College, Karachi Paraguay[edit] Universidad Autónoma de Asunción Philippines[edit] Far Eastern University - Nicanor Reyes Medical Foundation, Quezon City St. John Paul II College of Davao, Davao City Rosevale School, Cagayan de Oro City Juan R. Liwag Memorial High School, Gapan City Cagayan State University, Tuguegarao City Romania[edit] Mihai Eminescu High School,[17] Suceava Colegiul National "Andrei Saguna" Brasov[18] Colegiul National "Doamna Stanca" Fagaras[19] Alexandru Papiu Ilarian High School,[20] Targu-Mures Andrei Mureşanu High School,[21] Bistrița Márton Áron Főgimnázium [ro], Csíkszereda (Liceul Teoretic "Márton Áron", Miercurea-Ciuc) Ovidius High School,[22] Constanta Military Technical Academy,[23] Bucharest Russia[edit] School no. 1259, Moscow Saint Vincent and the Grenadines[edit] Saint Vincent Grammar School, Kingstown Slovakia[edit] Faculty of Informatics and Information Technologies of Slovak University of Technology in Bratislava Slovak Organisation for Space Activities Slovenia[edit] Prva gimnazija Maribor, Maribor Gimnazija Jesenice, Jesenice Gimnazija Škofja Loka, Škofja Loka South Africa[edit] Pietersburg Hoërskool[24] Tembisa Secondary School South African Air Force[25][circular reference] Ribane-Laka Secondary School Chistlehurst Academics and Arts School Sri Lanka[edit] St. Paul's Girls' School, Milagiriya, Colombo District, Western Province Sweden[edit] Västmanland Air Force Wing[26] Tajikistan[edit] Gymnasium #1 after V. Chkalov, Buston, Khujand, Sugd region Ukraine[edit] Space Museum dedicated to Korolyov in Zhytomyr Dnipropetrovsk Oblast Bucha Ukrainian gymnasium United Kingdom[edit] The Royal School, Haslemere, Surrey Colfe's School, Greenwich, London Mayfield Grammar School, Gravesend, Kent Dr. Challoner's Grammar School, Amersham, Buckinghamshire British Lawn Mower Racing Association United States[edit] California State University East Bay, Hayward, California[27] Campbell University, Buies Creek, North Carolina[28] Cornelia Strong College, University of North Carolina at Greensboro, North Carolina Coventry High School, Coventry, Rhode Island East Hampton High School, East Hampton, Connecticut Greenhill School, Dallas, Texas[29] Irvington Union Free School District, Irvington, New York Saint Joseph Academy, Brownsville, Texas Lake View High School, Chicago, Illinois Lyndon Institute, Lyndon Center, Vermont Macopin Middle School, West Milford, New Jersey Miami Central High School, Miami, Florida Midwood High School, Brooklyn, New York Mirman School, Los Angeles, California Morristown-Beard School, Morristown, New Jersey Mount Saint Michael Academy, Bronx, New York Satellite High School, Satellite Beach, Florida Seven Lakes High School, Katy, Texas Stevens Institute of Technology, Hoboken, New Jersey[30] Trinity Prep, Winter Park, Florida[31] Townsend Harris High School, Queens, New York University High School, Fresno, California University of Tennessee Space Institute, Tullahoma, Tennessee Oak Harbor Academy Private School, Lemoore, California Fraternities and sororities[edit] Beta Sigma Psi National Lutheran Fraternity[32] Sigma Gamma Phi – Arethusa Sorority[33] Korp! Amicitia – Estonian student sorority. Freemasons-Knight's Templar, 32nd Degree K.Ö.St.V. Almgau Salzburg - Austrian Catholic Student Association[34] K.a.V. Danubia Wien-Korneuburg im ÖCV - Austrian Catholic Student Association Popular culture[edit] Appears on the hull of the ship 'Searcher' in the second season of Buck Rogers. Garrison Keillor routinely references the phrase as the only Latin phrase he cared to remember on A Prairie Home Companion.[35][36] Per Aspera Ad Astra is a Soviet Russian science fiction film by Richard Viktorov, written by Kir Bulychov. Rip Torn says this phrase to David Bowie in the film The Man Who Fell to Earth. Tomo Milicevic of the band 30 Seconds to Mars has a tattoo on his right forearm reading 'per aspera et astra', with the band's logo in the background in red. Aspera! Per aspera! Per ardua! Ad astra! is the refrain of the song "Aspera" by Erin McKeown on the album We Will Become Like Birds. American singer, rapper, dancer, actress, and songwriter Kiely Williams has "Per aspera ad astra" tattooed on her right forearm. Title of a play depicting the history of the fictional Maycomb County in To Kill a Mockingbird, in which the translation is given as from the mud to the stars. Title of a song by Haggard, from the album Eppur Si Muove. The name of an album by Abandon Kansas. It is one of many hidden messages in the 2009 video game The Conduit. Motto of the Martian Imperial Commandos in Kurt Vonnegut novel, The Sirens of Titan. Title of a song by Seattle-based band Acceptance. Title of a song by Goasia, appearing on the album From Other Spaces (Suntrip Records, 2007) Appears on right side shoulder patch in Star Trek Enterprise, on the "newer" uniform style shown on the series finale. In Star Trek The Next Generation it is shown to be the motto of Starfleet. The official motto of Solforce in the videogame Sword of the Stars. The phrase is used as the name of the tenth track on the score for the film Underworld: Rise of the Lycans by Paul Haslinger. Title of a song by the band Spiritual Beggars from their album Ad Astra. Title of a song by the band Die Apokalyptischen Reiter from their album Samurai. The final mission (Chapter 15) in the Mafia II video game In a tattoo piece in The Raven The phrase has been spoofed slightly by the band Ghost in the song "Per Aspera Ad Inferi" from their album Infestissumam[37] literally meaning "Through hardships to hell".[38] Title of a background music from the Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire video games which plays during a voyage into space. In the 2015 film The Martian, at the end of the film astronaut Mark Watney is giving his first lecture to the Astronaut Candidate Program and the phrase appears embedded in the central floor area of the lecture hall around a logo In Bioware's Mass Effect 3, this phrase is set in the middle of the wall of names dedicated to the fallen crew members of the main ship, the SSV Normandy SR2. Title of character leveling achievements in Mistwalker's mobile game Terra Battle Found in the Gravity Falls Journal #3, penned on the title page. Appears on the journal both in the show and on the real-life replica.[39] The title of a Pee Wee Gaskins album (2010). The title character in Ottessa Moshfegh's novel Eileen accepts and smokes a Pall Mall and refers to the motto on the package translated as "Through the thorns to the stars." On the ship the students find in Astra Lost in Space, there is a plaque with this saying on it. The motto of the Golds in Pierce Brown's Red Rising Series. Ad Astra is a 2019 American science fiction film by James Gray. Appears in the logo of the Universal Paperclips Advanced AI Research Group. Others[edit] As part of the official team crest of Arendal Football As part of the team crest of the former Collingwood Cricket Club. A plaque honoring the astronauts of Apollo 1 at the launch site where they perished. A tribute exhibit to the Apollo 1 Astronauts "Ad Astra Per Aspera - A Rough Road Leads to the Stars" opened on January 27, 2017, the 50th anniversary of the loss of the crew, at the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex. Inscribed on the crest of Pall Mall cigarettes packages[40] The theme of "POR CC XXI" by Kolese Kanisius Jakarta Part of a custom paint job in World Of Tanks Tradewinds Swiss[41] Space Development Network[42] Part three of the book Jepp who Defied the Stars by Katherine Marsh has the phrase as its title.[43] Appears in Morse code on the track titled "Sounds of Earth" on the Voyager Golden Record that has copies aboard the Voyager 1 & 2 spacecraft that are currently in interstellar space. [44] See also[edit] Per ardua ad astra ("Through adversity to the stars") Per ardua ad astra, additional uses with reference to above article Ad astra per aspera, additional uses Per aspera ad astra, references this article References[edit] ^ "Decorations of the Grand Duchy of Mecklenburg-Schwerin". Archived from the original on 2008-08-29. ^ "Seal of Kansas". Kansapedia. Kansas Historical Society. March 2014. Archived from the original on 2020-07-06. Retrieved 2020-07-06. ^ "Nederlandsch-Indische Gemeentewapens" (PDF). NV Mij Vorkink. September 1933. Retrieved 2019-07-23. ^ "Gouda in the official Dutch heraldic records". High Council of the Nobility (Hoge Raad van Adel), The Hague. Retrieved 2019-10-28. ^ "Honored Scientist of Armenia" (PDF). Retrieved Sep 24, 2020. ^ Department of Civil Aviation Emblems Archived April 27, 2009, at the Wayback Machine ^ "Academia Tehnica Militara". Mta.ro. Archived from the original on 2007-07-03. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ http://www.naa.mil.lv/en.aspx ^ "The South African Air Force Emblems". Saairforce.co.za. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "OSGG/BSGG @RideauHall Twitter". twitter.com. Retrieved 2017-10-04. ^ Kenta Shinohara (w, a). Astra Lost in Space 2: 24/4 (2016-08-23), Viz Media ^ Joyce, James. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. p. 222. ^ "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 2014-07-18. Retrieved 2014-07-18. ^ "Albury High School". Albury-h.schools.nsw.edu.au. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Keila-Joa Boarding School". Keila-joa.edu.ee. Archived from the original on 2013-12-24. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Jakob Westholm Secondary School". westholm.ee. Retrieved 2014-11-05. ^ "Colegiul Național Mihai Eminescu". cn-eminescu.ro. Retrieved 2014-02-23. ^ "Colegiul Naţional "Andrei Şaguna", Braşov". Saguna.ro. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Colegiul Naţional "Doamna Stanca", Braşov". Doamnastanca.ro. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Colegiul Naţional Alexandru Papiu Ilarian". Papiu.ro. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Colegiul Național Andrei Mureșanu". Cnam.ro. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Liceul Teoretic Ovidius". liceulovidius.ro. Retrieved 2014-07-01. ^ "Military Technical Academy Bucharest". www.mta.ro/. Retrieved 2017-11-08. ^ "Pietersburg Hoerskool". Pieties.co.za. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ South African Air Force ^ Braunstein, Christian (2005). Svenska flygvapnets förband och skolor under 1900-talet (PDF). Skrift / Statens försvarshistoriska museer, 1101-7023 ; 8 [dvs 9] (in Swedish). Stockholm: Statens försvarshistoriska museer. p. 44. ISBN 9197158488. SELIBR 9845891. ^ "California State University East Bay". Csueastbay.edu. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ Campbell University: General Information Archived July 26, 2008, at the Wayback Machine ^ Greenhill School: Statement of Philosophy Archived 2009-01-06 at Archive.today ^ "Stevens Institute of Technology: About Stevens". Stevens.edu. Archived from the original on 2013-10-12. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Trinity Prep School: myTPS Portal". Trinityprep.org. Archived from the original on 2012-06-07. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Beta Sigma Psi 2006 National Convention, see page header". Convention.betasigmapsi.org. 2009-12-27. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Sigma Gamma Phi at SUNY Oneonta". Oneonta.edu. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ Almgau, 2014 (7 May 2011). "Startseite - ALMGAU". K.ö.St.V. Almgau Salzburg im MKV. ^ "transcript from the September 17, 2011 episode of A Prairie Home Companion". ^ Rev. Andy Ferguson. "Church Street United Methodist Church: February 20, 2001". churchstreetumc.blogspot.com. ^ "Ghost B.C. Store". Myplaydirect.com. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "A Nameless Ghoul From Ghost B.C. Speaks About 'Infestissumam', the Devil + More". Loudwire. Retrieved 2013-08-04. ^ Noble, Barnes &. "Gravity Falls: Journal 3|Hardcover". Barnes & Noble. Retrieved 2020-02-25. ^ "Pall Mall". History of Cigarette Brands. Archived from the original on 2011-08-17. Retrieved 2013-12-21. ^ "Test Tradewinds Swiss". ^ "(CA) Who owns the phone number? - Identify the Owner of a Phone Number 123". ownerphonenumber.online. Retrieved Sep 24, 2020. ^ Jepp who Defied the Stars, p. 225, at Google Books ^ "Voyager - Sounds on the Golden Record". voyager.jpl.nasa.gov. Retrieved Sep 24, 2020.

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[me-lapislazuli]

Viking church by an autumnal pond, Lillehammer, Norway | by Cinematic Photography on 500px

[albografi]

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