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mmepennance · 1 year

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Guest Column: Ask a Hysterical Lady-Person

Dear Ms. Lady-Person,

My girlfriend is obsessed with politics. Not sure what to do.

I think I need some advice. I have been together with my girlfriend for about half a year now and actually, everything is going very well. If there was not this one thing that has developed into a real problem for me. She constantly talks about politics and every time there is a current hot topic, she almost gets obsessed about it. The latest example is the new abortion law in Alabama. She will read up on the topic for hours and hours and then constantly bring it up, when I would be much more interested in talking about topics like friends and family and everyday things. I do not mind discussing politics every now and then but another thing is that on every topic she forms an opinion which in my view is just too radical and if you try to mention some opposing arguments, she gets almost hysterical and will defend her position and I really do not want to be in a debate with my girlfriend. I am not sure what to do. I am really happy with this woman and want to stay in a relationship with her, but I cannot just tell her "Hey, this thing you are passionate about, can we talk less about that? ". That would seem rude to me.

Have the women in your life

Become loudly inconvenient

Shrieking voices raised in shrill,

Hysterically piercing complaint?

Are they no longer calmed by your

Formerly successful methods of

Sooth and soothing tone?

Have such old standbys ~

Calm down honey.

Don’t take it so seriously!

It’s no big deal!

Why are you overreacting?!

What’s the big deal?

Lost their efficacy?

Why is this suddenly

Happening now?

What has changed?

Why do they worry their

Pretty little heads over distantly

Unimportant matters of law,

Politics and politicking?

Can’t they just have a drink,

Watch TV, play a video game,

And just relax already?

Why do they insist on

Talking to you about

Past abuse, #metoo

Supreme Court nominees

Abortion rights, and

Bodily autonomy?

Women;

Hysterical.

Emotional.

Unstable.

Illogical.

(Women : Coffee, Amirite)

Your girlfriend,

Or wife,

Or sister,

Or daughter,

Used to be so relaxed

And fun to be around

And knew not to take life

So damned seriously

So,

Here is where I, a woman,

Personally apologize to you,

A man, for women’s

unwanted, untoward,

Inconvenient,

hysterical

Rantings.

I am sorry for your confusion.

I am sorry for your discomfort.

I am sorry that the slow

Inexorable push to dismiss

Diminish and degrade

The rights and autonomy

Of multitudes of women, girls,

Of non-men in general,

Whom you pass every day

On the streets, or in the sheets

Passes invisibly beneath your

Life’s unquestioned radar

Without you ever seeing, hearing,

Or knowing the very different

Coexistence realities they experience.

I am sorry that you have lost

The unchallenged comfort

Of blinders willingly worn.

I am sorry that we dare disturb

Your peaceful complacency

With our sharply shrill,

Unseemly and demanding

Gratingly raised tones

I am sorry that you find your cozy

Quietude confronted by truths you’ve

Been unable to see from your vantage

Of lofty unquestioned humanity

For years

We have asked,

Screamed,

Begged,

To have our

Simple humanity,

Our right to dignity

Recognized, and

Acknowledged

On our own merits -

To no avail.

I am sorry that the equality you

Clearly believe in as universal fact,

Remains only a distantly

Beautiful dream for so many

Whose realities sit invisible to you.

I am sorry this needs to be said:

Your girlfriend,

Or wife,

Or sister,

Or daughter,

Deserves to be accepted

As fully and equally human

Autonomous and wholly

Worthy of independent

Dignity and respect

Without having to remind you,

Or the rest of the world

That she is somebody’s

Girlfriend,

Or wife,

Or sister,

Or daughter.

I am sorry that you have been

Unable to hear the shouts of

Women only now as they became

Inconvenient to your own peace,

Long after theirs had been shattered.

I am sorry that the only answer

You will hear is this:

Maybe things will go back to normal

If you just find the right words;

Whispering deep new platitudes

Gently calming false feminine fears,

Bringing your quieting shadow over

Her voice grown faint and faded,

Hoarse from vain attempts to be heard?

Maybe that will settle things

With her back to normal?

It would be nice to have

Peace and quiet again,

Wouldn’t it?

#poetry #feminism #politics #women’s rights #feminine hysteria #angry woman #slam poetry

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halflingkima · 7 years

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emmerdale. :)

HA well that’s rough bc it’s a soap and soaps are bound to be Messy, i mostly credit them for doing their best tbh but uh here we go

Sapphic representation. From what I’ve read they used to be a little better abt it, but like. Let Dingles Say Lesbian amirite. It’s so annoying they’ve got all these canon bi women right there?? and there’s no?? consideration of it at all?? Like let “I’m done with men” last more than say, three eps you know??

POC representation, specifically black characters. I unfortunately didn’t see Gemma’s arc but I did see some of her dad and him + Jermaine are the only two black characters I’ve seen?? and their roles were largely... not great tbh. and speaking of Jermaine –

Redemption arcs. their redemption arcs are Shit. so far it seems like the tactic is “have Bad Character disappear for awhile & not do anything else v bad & ppl will forget & forgive” like that’s not. good. They gotta fully realize that what they did was wrong & address it with themselves and with those they hurt. Jermaine needed to actively & openly acknowledge the damage he did to both Belle and Angela with the affair. Jai needed to profusely apologize to Megan and Leyla for the affair and criminalizing them with his dealings with Rachel. Frank needs to understand and repent for the lasting effect he’s had on his daughters’ psyches. One of the worst bits is giving the harmed parties space; like how many times a week do i have to hear a woman say “stay away from me” to the same man?????? yike

Spreading the trauma around tbh. I get that there are dramatic storylines and comedic storylines and that actors are hired for different reasons but imo they should all be held to the same standard. Why are Finn’s relationships fleeting jokes while Aaron’s are ride-or-die Soulmate stuff?Why is Vic’s romance/marriage funny stuff like someone walking in on them while Charity’s are always serious like abortions & abuse? I know I haven’t been watching all that long but there are definitely two camps of characters and they cross every now and then but i want a more equal distribution of emotional range, i guess

HUGS. no one hugs enough in this show. & i get it w someone like p*erce who’s new and relatively untrusted by the town or bob who has a relatively small family but the Dingles?? don’t hug?? best friends like Vanessa & Rhona?? don’t hug?? Chrissie’s willing to go to prison for her son but won’t hug him????? like um... i call bullshit (this should prob be no. 1 i care abt it that much lmao)

#emmerdale ramblings #thanks for the ask!!#bexwhite #asked

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nightcoremoon · 5 years

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the harmful misogynist hypocritical movement called "pro life" seems pretty cut and dry on the surface. they say abortion is murder and women shouldn't be able to do them. counter argument is it's the woman's body and as such the woman's choice, and that women should always be able to have access to a safe medical procedure, especially if you consider that most abortions are done on dead fetuses or fetuses with issues that will end up killing the mother. I'm gonna be using some pretty cisnormative language here and piss off pro-lifers and a lot of catholics, so here's the disclaimers. I'm trans and I'm saying women and mother because it takes less time to say that than "cis dfab and trans dmab people" and "uterus-owning fetus gestation host", I was pro-life a couple years ago, and fuck the world's biggest cult called catholicism. with that out of the way, let's proceed.

I don't think it's quite as simple as "abortion is murder". clearly it's not. factually speaking, a lot of abortions are done within the first few weeks before the zygote could conceivably be even remotely resembling human, let alone live if separated from the mother. a lot of them are also done when the fetus dies prepartum. this spares the mother the pain and trauma the pain of childbirth to a baby that's already dead, and may even save their lives, and it will certainly spare them the costs of hospitalized childbirth which costs a lot of money. there are cases in which the fetus could conceivably survive out of the womb and its birth wouldn't endanger the mother any more than childbirth usually does, but those cases aren't any less justified because let's look at the reasons why women might get abortions.

(trigger warning: rape mention ahead.)

but first let's look at why transgender people with uteri specifically would get them. gender dysphoria, in addition to the nine months of hormonal hell pregnant people go through, would be like... double hell. passing purposes for trans people who cannot let people around them know they're trans (usually for work and things like that) are also of importance as if you see a pregnant man that challenges the social norms instilled in most of society and because of misogyny and transphobia might alter the way you communicate with that person on an even larger scale degree than just everyday misogyny that alters people's interactions with pregnant cis women versus non pregnant cis women.

anyway, there are other reasons that affect both cis women and dfab trans people. there is rape, of course. sad as it is, it's a common fact of our society. people with vaginas frequently get raped; 1 in 6 I'm pretty sure is the statistic. and rapists aren't usually known for condom usage. also pedophilia which constitutes rape. many children become pregnant from rape and anyone with an ounce of compassion and logic knows it's wrong to force a literal child to carry a baby to term. there are also abusive cases in which pregnancy in unhealthy relationships can occur, and some women may get abortions for their own safety. also, specifically in china, there are women who will get abortions to comply with the child limit laws, or to abort female fetuses to avoid their husbands either killing or abandoning them because that shit happens a lot and it's fucking toxic masculinity "I need a son to carry on my legacy and not a weak woman that won't" misogynist bullshit. and there are women with careers who literally don't have time to be parents as well, and if they do then they have to balance commitment to their work and their baby and that's unfair to both the parent and child, and they're forced to make this concession because god forbid the father steps up and parents the child he helped fucking make; the world won't easily let women have children and careers because "a woman's place is at home with the family in the kitchen making dinner" tradwife bullshit.

all of those are bad things but I'm not gonna be discussing them in this post.

everything up until now has been based on facts and evident social trends. from here on out it's all speculation.

I think the pro life movement is so much more insidious than just misogyny. sure, that's there. some people feel that women only exist to get pregnant and give birth to predominantly sons because they're degenerate redneck filth who hate females. however, analyzing everything else that's part of it, it feels a whole lot worse. let's run through every point I've made so far:

bodily autonomy

medical safety

preventing death

gender dysphoria

rape victims

pedophilia victims

abusive relationships

chinese women's safety

women's career importance

now, that paints an interesting picture. it's all rights and safety for women, minorities, and victims of sex crime. somehow that's just not enough to sway people from thinking "maybe there are good reasons for abortion and we're being assholes screaming at and physically assaulting and killing people who take part". somehow they're still parroting "abortion is murder" like they don't think for themselves.

they don't care about women having rights to a career or bodily autonomy, especially sexual, regardless of their age, even if it includes their very life... & they don't care about trans people.

and that shit invaded the weirdest spaces. fanfiction dot net circa the late 2000s was chock full of girls with profile descriptions with anti abortion copypasta. but why? how on earth did that get into a community predominantly composed of young impressionable teenage girls? ...oh wait a minute.

let's also take into account the juxtaposition of slut shaming, sexual objectification, a total lack of male willingness to use condoms, and rape, as well as everything in that bulleted list.

it really feels to me like pro lifers desire to live in a world where babies born with vaginas solely exist to become sexual objects the moment they become sexually appealing (which can be at any age honestly from a pedophile's POV), but not because they desire to (since they'll be labeled sluts) but because a man desires to fulfill his sexual desires (double standard), whether she wants him to or not, and when she gets pregnant she's locked into a relationship no matter how old she is (like the hundreds of pentecostal forced marriages at 11 years old, for example) and no matter whether it's healthy as long as the Man™ gets his son and his hot dinner at 5pm like it's fucking 1953 (because god forbid the woman be the breadwinner or even leave the house to do anything but shop for groceries, let alone vote, amirite), and if she dies during childbirth, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well, the heartbroken man suffering from Manpain™ will just pick up another lady off the street at half his age who will cure his broken heart with her vagina and replace the last one, since women are apparently inherently replaceable; and if a wife gives birth to a daughter, hey, she'll be a carnation, pure and sweet until she becomes sexually appealing and starts the process all over again. also everybody is cis and straight. and also white, neurotypical, able bodied, rich from hard work and daddy's money, oh yeah and christian, but not the protestant heathens, I mean the catholics who are the only ones who won't go to hell. everything exists to serve the man.

okay wow so it's not just basic misogyny. it's the systematic patriarchal eurocentric values.

the pro life movement is just a small subset of all of the other things wrong with the world.

"but sheena you can't say that pro lifers are all misogynist, transphobic, racist, queerphobic, ableist, classist, rife with religious intolerance, anti feminist, and otherwise harmful in other ways! it's an stereotypical overgeneralization!"

show me one fucking pro lifer who isn't at least half of those. show me one. I only wanna see one. I just wanna see one pro lifer who isn't bigoted towards any demographic of people. prove me wrong and show me ONE. please.

you can't. they're all mouth breathers incapable of singular conscious thought outside of a hive mind of facebook memes and post-evangelical moral superiority and smug condescension and an obsession with the 1950s. they're physically incapable of individualism, intelligent thought, and basic empathy skills. I know this because I WAS ONE OF THEM. THAT'S HOW THEY ARE.

there may be some deviations here and there but we all know the dangers of "#not all _____".

so fuck the pro life movement and fuck you if you're pro life. you're pro death penalty and pro military and pro cops and pro letting homeless people starve and pro letting people die from preventable causes because of lack of access to healthcare and pro letting women die from childbirth because ~abortion is bad~.

you're not pro life.

you're just anti choice.

and anti woman.

(and anti trans because you all use exclusively cisnormative language to the point that I used it while speaking on the subject).

so go ahead and send more money to trump to save unborn babies. he'll spend that money on bombing the middle east and building a racism wall.

you care more about white fetuses than about brown skinned people in general including their babies. your ignorant hatred is transparent.

because you're not pro life.

above all else,

if anything,

you're fucking pro death.

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