#MAYBE WE WOULDNT BE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS AND CONVERSATIONS!!!!!;!!.?:!;?;!;?!&;!;’bm!;!!

[skoulsons]

Ellie’s “why!” In her notebook after… you know

The sheer number of attempted eyes she drew. None of them look quite right. None of them match his.

His eyes. The eyes she knows so well. She can draw the rest of his face damn near perfectly, but not his eyes.

She can’t draw the parts of him that she could see through into his heart. The parts of him that shined so bright when he was around her. Those eyes that glowed so bright in the space shuttle. The eyes that looked at her with so much love and care for her, whether she could see him looking at her or not.

She can’t feel his embrace anymore. She can no longer hug him and feel his arms wrapped around her, never failing to hold her tight. She can no longer experience a kiss to her head or gentle fingers threading through her hair. She can’t hold his warm hands or hear his voice and endearments that always followed it anymore. She will never hear a “kiddo”, “baby girl”, or any other endearment he so lovingly gave to her ever again.

The one thing she had the chance to keep to see his light again. His eyes.

And she can’t even draw them.