#Macchi's been busy so I had to write this one

[rosesisupposes]

Destined, part 19

aka Loganberry?

Character Tags: Virgil/Anixety ; Patton/Creativity ; Patton/Morality ; Logan/Logic ; Remy/Sleep ; Dante/Deceit

Chapter Pairings: Platonic Moxiety, Logicality, Prinxiety

Chapter Warnings: Virgil Swears A Lot, Remy Is A Flirt, Allusion to kidnapping

Reader Tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice   @fellowthomassandersfander @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt

Summary: After centuries of acting as an oracle to heroes, quest-seekers, and villains alike, Virgil just wants to live as a normal, modern human. For someone who can see infinite probabilities, you’d think he’d know better.

<<Chapter 18 | Masterlist | Chapter 20>>

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It was a fine day, in Virgil’s opinion. The sun was out, the weather was crisp, and he’d woken up still happy with his newly-dyed hair. 

Upon his arrival to How You Brewin’, Remy had immediately latched onto his head and cooed praise over his amethyst locks. “YAASS BOI,  look at you discovering polychromatic hair! This is why you need to come to The Crypt, you would SLAY the dance floor and break all the hearts. You could follow in my glamorous footprints!”

“Glad you like it, Rem. Gonna have to pass on the danceclub heartbreak, though.”

“Fiiiine,” his boss sighed. “I’ll just have to tell them all to come here to have their hearts broken. There’s no way I’m sleeping on the business angle here, gurl. Broken heart equals party hard, it’s just math.”

Virgil flushed slightly. “I really think you’re giving me too much credit. People are not going to take one look at me and go head over heels.”

“It’s true, some might not. Not all of them can pull off heels as well as I can,” Remy nodded philosophically. “But for real, boi, look at you. You’ve got Roman, THE prettiest gay in this town, except for my lovely self of course...”

“Of course,” Virgil replied, straight-faced.

“And he was flirting with you the minute he walked through those doors! Face it. You’re hot, and it’s gonna make me money. Now go show Patton, he’ll flip if he doesn’t get to see his son’s new hair.”

Virgil went. He wasn’t sure if he was going to see Patton or running away from Remy, but either way, the bakery seemed like a safer place to be at this particular moment.

Patton was rolling out pastry when Virgil walked around the counter, but something seemed off. The pastry was stretched and too thin in some places, horribly bunched and thick in others, and the baker continued to roll without any seeming care to the inconsistencies.

“Good morning, dad.”

No response. Virgil was so surprised he almost walked into a bench. He carefully waved a hand in front of the baker’s face. “Pat? You okay, buddy?”

Patton finally noticed and snapped to attention. He smiled at Virgil, but it was overly wide and appeared strained. “Hey kiddo! I’m just fine and dandy! Just another day in the life as your happy-pappy Patton! Can I get you anything? Some snacks? A muffin? Let me know!”

“Patton. Something’s going on. What’s up?”

“The roof! Also the sky!”

Virgil groaned. “Patton, I know something is wrong. You’re not yourself today. You don’t need to pretend you’re okay if you’re not.”

The baker’s smile trembled. “Virgil, you sweet and sour shadowling, I appreciate your concern. I will be fine!”

“Pat-”

“That was a lie, nothing will ever be fine!” Patton suddenly burst out, diving at Virgil for a desperate hug.

“Hey, it’s okay, what’s wrong?”

“Love has failed me!” cried the baker’s muffled voice.

Virgil pulled Patton up from where the shorter man had lodged himself at his waist. “Pat, are you hurt? What happened?”

“Logan hasn’t texted me back!”

Virgil stared, trying to not roll his eyes. That was it? “Patton, I didn’t even know you had his number! How long has it been?”

Patton sniffed. “I got his number two days ago after you asked us for advice, and for a full day we were texting back and forth. He texts like he’s writing for a genetics journal, but he was responding so quickly until I asked if he wanted to go on a date tonight and he just stopped responding and now he’s avoiding the whole bakafé!”

“Okay, I’m aware I’m not the best at positive thinking, but don’t you think there are alternative explanations for this? Maybe he got called away on fieldwork, or had a family emergency. Or you asked him out, his brain went all ‘Windows Error.exe’ and he threw his phone into the sink.”

Patton looked at Virgil oddly. “Why would he do that to his phone? Is that something that happens normally?”

“Well, no, but I almost did that when Roman texted me the first time,” Virgil muttered, blushing.

“OhhHHHhh that is so cute!” Patton squealed, brightening. “You’re right, kiddo. I shouldn’t focus on only the worst possibilities. Thanks for taking care of your silly old dad.”

“Anytime, Padre. And you’re not silly, you’re just relentlessly positive. You know I appreciate that, except for when you’re covering up your own feelings. Did you need any help with the pastry before I go back to Remy?”

Patton finally noticed the mess on his bench. “Oh my powdered donuts! This is useless. Oh well, guess I’ll need to re-laminate and start again. I won’t keep you here for that, kiddo, it’s pretty tedious. You go take something from the hot case for yourself, though. You’re not avoiding Remy, are you?”

“I won’t be once he stops threatening to make money off my hair.”

Patton’s eyes suddenly flew up and widened. “VIRGE! YOUR HAIR! Congrats on the cool colorful crown!”

Virgil snickered. “Thanks, Pat. I thought you might appreciate it. And it’s all thanks to Talyn for their help with choosing a color and making it actually look good.”

“Hmm, the purple though… that gives me a peri-twinkling of an idea! The pastry dough will have to wait - I need to go bake something. Thank you again, Virgil. You’re my favorite son!”

After the lunch rush, Virgil wandered back to the bakery. Roman had the day off, so had yet to come in, and Virgil was bored.

Patton was putting the finishing touches on a new display of muffins. A chalk sign proclaimed these were a new variety of Jam-Packed Muffins, filled with a jelly that was a made from a hybrid fruit of blackberry and raspberry.

“‘Loganberry’ muffins? Wow, I am really feeling the cuteness welling up inside me. Or maybe that’s vomit,” Virgil drawled.

Patton just grinned. “That’s why I have the scientific name of the berries here as well. It’s not pandering if it’s science!”

“We both know it’s extra pandering if it’s science. Actually, has he come in yet? I haven’t seen him.”

Patton wouldn’t meet the other man’s eyes, instead fiddling with the sign and adding extra flourishes with his bright purple chalk. “I… haven’t seen him. Or gotten a text yet. Wouldn’t his phone be fixed by now, if that was the issue?”

“Pat, it’ll be okay - I’m still sure he’s not trying to turn you down. You didn’t see how nervous he was about talking to you. My whole first week here was a never-ending parade of watching him try to be subtle about checking you out. He’s just bad at words.”

Patton sighed, and smiled weakly. “You’re right. I’m trying to not worry.”

The café bell rang, and Virgil looked over at the door. His face lit up as he saw Roman rolling in, auburn hair mussed from the wind outside.

Patton giggled as Virgil practically sprinted back to the café counter.

“Hello, you,” Roman drawled. Virgil felt an involuntary shiver. It was just not fair how attractive this man was. Maybe Remy had a point - if someone as gorgeous as Roman was in any way attracted to him, maybe his looks weren’t as blah as he’d assumed.

“...hey,” he managed to squeak out. “So, uh. Does it still look okay in person? My hair, I mean?”

“It is positively iridescent, my delightful macchi-hot-to. Oh, also, can you you make macchiatos? I learned about this new drink that I’m just jazzed to try.”

“Yeah, macchiatos aren’t too bad. What did you want?”

“A jumbo, half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot caramel macchiato with 1 and a half shots decaf, 2 and a half regular, with whip, 2 packets of splenda, 1 sugar in the raw, a touch of vanilla syrup and 3 short sprinkles of cinnamon.”

Virgil just stared. “What the fuck, Ro. Where did you hear about this drink, a Top Ten Drinks to Make Baristas Hate You list?”

Roman grinned, then laughed outright. “How did you know? Ahhh, you caught me, I just wanted to see if I could order it with a straight face. Nah, I’ll just have another caramel surprise. That one’s my good luck charm, after all.”

Virgil blushed faintly as he smiled and started the drink that had started his flirtation with this incredible man.

“So, did you miss me this morning?” Roman asked, leaning over to watch Virgil’s deft hands go from steam wand to gasket, not spilling a drop of liquid. “Was the café gray and bereft without my signature charm and wit?”

“I wish you had been here this morning, Remy is threatening to all but marry me off to the highest bidder at the Crypt. He said that heartbreak is good for business?”

“I will defend your honor, dear Virgil, fear not,” Roman said, posing dramatically. “I will fight back the adoring, crazed hordes and also Remy, that tricky minx. You need no longer fear, Roman Augustus is here!”

The afternoon sun beating through the windows gilded Roman’s silhouette in golden light. Virgil suddenly had a burning urge to wear a dramatic ballgown and watch this man slay ogres in his name. All other thoughts and worries melted away as he gazed at the swoop of soft hair, the shine in his hazel eyes, the elegant curve of his arm and back…

“Virgil, I need your help!”

Patton’s voice, laced with nerves edging on fear, interrupted his reverie and Roman’s pose. Without a word they both immediately rushed to the bakery.

“Pat, what’s wrong?”

“Logan texted back.”

Roman’s eyebrows waggled. “Need some help composing the perfect romantic missive, Padre?”

“No, it’s… I don’t know, this might be just paranoid and crazy, but I don’t think Logan sent this text,” Patton said.

“Paranoid and crazy? Patton, stealing my thing, no big deal…” Virgil snarked, taking the offered phone from the baker’s hands. He did a double take as he looked at the screen.

Sent Yesterday Afternoon

Patton Corwan (Crumb On In): Hel-Lo! P: You know I always enjoy seeing you in the bakafé, but I’d like to see you outside of work, if you’d be interested. P: How does a pasta dinner tomorrow night sound, at that cute Italian place on Magnolia street? My treat :)

Just now

Logan ⚛️💙: A date night sounds so good! ⚛️💙: But :( I procrastinated some work I really need to get done. I’ll be at the office late tonight. ⚛️💙: Let’s take a rain check though, okay cutie? Love you!

Virgil frowned as he passed the phone to Roman. Eyebrows immediately vanished into auburn hair as the other man regarded the odd exchange.

“I’m no expert on this Mr. Abacus Finch of yours, but this seems rather out of character,” Roman commented. “Did he hit his head particularly hard? Or is someone else using his phone?”

Virgil felt his stomach drop at the hypothetical Roman mentioned. He’d seen this exact scenario, and hadn’t made the connection until now. CrapcrapcrapfuckfuckfuckSHIT not now! It’s only been two days, I’m not ready for Roman to already be dragged into this, he thought desperately. Why couldn’t that snake of a sorcerer wait just a little longer?

Roman caught his eye. “Hey, Hot Topic, did you suddenly apply more foundation or is something wrong?”

Virgil shook his head. “I… I don’t think Logan hit his head. Or at least, he didn’t hit his head and then also send this text.”

“You think someone else did? Do you think it’s…” Roman’s voice trailed off as he made a vague gesture that was clearly supposed to connote ‘evil’. It wasn’t one of his more elegant attempts, but given the circumstances, it was understandable.

Virgil nodded in response to the unfinished question. Roman gulped and looked down. “This is it, huh. Okay. I guess I’d better be ready then.”

Patton looked between them, gesturing at himself. “Guess who has ten fingers and is very confused! What is ‘it’? Do you know who texted me? Is Logan okay?”

“Pat, remember when I asked you for advice? That was about this, I think. Roman might be the best positioned of any of us to find Lo and make sure he’s safe.”

Patton looked nervous, but nodded determinedly. “What can I do to help?”

Roman looked at the phone again. “It seems to me that Mr. Steal Yo’ Boy is at Logan’s office. Or will be, after work hours. The bakafé closes soon, right?”

Virgil nodded. “We have less than an hour left ‘til close.”

“I think we can risk waiting to go over until then,” Roman said, checking his watch. “Plus, that’s when the sun starts going down. If Logan isn’t the one texting, but his phone is being used, I’m going to made a guess that this creep will need shadows to hide in.”

“We’re going to wait? What if Logan is in more danger? What do we do between now and then?” Patton wasn’t used to being this nervous, and he did not deal with it well. He was already shifting from foot to foot, eyeing the bakery door like he was considering dashing out at any moment.

Virgil put a hand on the baker’s shoulder. “Logan won’t be in any more danger an hour from now than he is at the moment. Trust me on this. If we go search for him randomly, we might miss him entirely. Until it’s dark, we’ll keep working. Pat, why don’t you show Roman how to help with edible decorations? He’s artistic and has a the sweet tooth of a five-year-old in a candy shop, he’ll be a natural.”

Roman gasped indignantly, a hand artfully splayed on his chest. “I do not act like a five-year old,” he said with a sniff. “I am at least seven, give me some credit.”

As they’d both hoped, Patton smiled weakly and led Roman around the counter. Both Virgil and Roman cared a lot about their gentle friend. Even if Roman had only occasionally met Logan, the scientist clearly made Patton happy.

No one should interfere with Patton being happy.

author’s note: I’d always thought that Logan’s question in Crofter’s The Musical was a joke, but it turns out there actually are such things are real loganberries: Rubus × loganobaccus. I learned something new because of this story, Logan would be so proud! You know. Wherever he is.

Corwan, Patton’s last name, is an old English name that means ‘friend of the heart’

Augustus, Roman’s last name, means regal, great ruler, etc. He’s royalty, we love him

Yes, that is the author’s note you get on this while you wait for the next chapter :)