#NETTLE OUT HERE CRUSHING. OUT HERE PINING. OUT HERE YEARNING. GAY LIL MOTHER FUCKER

[mementofloreo-archived]

@viisiond || ❝  i know you’ve been having a shit time so i brought some food.  ❞ Kaeya, for Nettle

Nettle jolts at Kaeya’s voice. And immediately he sniffs and scrubs at his face with the sleeves of his sweater, clearing away the tears he’s been silently shedding for...a while? He lost track of time.

His eyes are still puffy and red rimmed, his face blotchy and flushed. His whole body is shaking a little.

He hates people to see him crying like this. Truly bereft, distraught, wordless and shuddering. Or when he gets into blank and apathetic moods and can’t manage to do much but stare at the wall vacantly for hours on end, when he’s so exhausted by the mere act of existing that he doesn’t want to get out of bed for two days.

The cracks, the chips, the faults left by the harrowing childhood he lived. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that he simply survived it. (Maybe it would be fair to say he never really had a childhood at all).

Nettle has made friends in Monstadt now. Several fellow guild members who he works with regularly. Lisa, the Favonius Order’s librarian. And of course Kaeya(and the rest of their friday night drinking buddies). Nettle probably feels most at ease around him. But all the same, he hasn’t talked much about his childhood prior to being adopted by his sisters.

He shambled his way out here near Starfell Lake early this morning as if it was a normal day. He’d gather herbs, take some notes on the current soil and flora quality in the area, whatever. But he’s mostly been wandering listlessly between periods of sobbing like this. Everyone thinks he’s just off on solo work, he always cleans his face of any signs of tears before going home.

It’s the middle of the week, and Nettle has logged all his tasks and hours the same as he always does. Kaeya is normally very work focused, and nothing else crosses his mind until he’s off duty. So why- how- is he here?

...Ned thinks he could probably roll himself into an empty grave trying to figure that out. Whatever weird information gathering superpowers Kaeya has are something he’ll never understand.

But still. He’s here. And his face is...sort of soft. Not all gooey or forlorn, just...well, some of that usual teasing glint is missing.

“Startled me there,” Nettle finally croaks. Kaeya’s taking a seat next to him and handing him a dish- Nettle can smell the aroma of northern apple stew.

“I- I am overdue to eat, though, I guess.” his voice is quiet and weak, “So thanks...this is really- it’s really sweet of you.”

He snuffles again and focuses his eyes on his soup. Tries not to think about the little bit of flush creeping into his cheeks. The way he feels a little warm over all this. Kaeya somehow noticing he wasn’t feeling well. Kaeya taking the time to actively track him down out in the woods just to bring him one of his favorite meals.

“Kinda...k-kinda overkill though, don’t you think?” a watery laugh escapes him. “I mean aren’t you supposed to be in the middle of work? How’d you find the time to even know I was- and track me down, even...you could have just caught me after work or something.”

He’s been taking a few bites during all that. “Not that- I mean, not that I’m not grateful. Or not happy to see you. I’m not- not trying to chase you off.”

“I have been having kinda a shit time of things,” Nettle says slowly, “But it’s- well, it’s a depressive episode, that’s what it is. I’ll feel a little better by the end of the week, probably. I just need to take some time and be by myself at the start of these things. And I’m- am I babbling?”

He sighs. “Ugh, whatever.”

A few moments of silence and then Nettle speaks very softly. “Thank you, Kaeya. Really.”

“For noticing.” he continues, “I’m pretty well accustomed to...well, not being noticed.”

“But it makes me happy that you do. I know I razz you a lot, but it’s only because I...feel at ease around you. Like I can relax. I can let my sense of humor show around you, crowded places feel less intimidating with you there.”

“And you’re a huge dork,” Nettle chuckles, “You always manage to make me laugh. Being around you is fun. ...And, uh, I’m babbling again. I’m going to focus on this stew before it gets cold.”

He’s flushed to his eartips now, but he pointedly avoids looking at Kaeya. Eat your damn food, he tells himself, and get some pesticide for those dumb butterflies you’re feeling.