#NEYTIRI SAID NO TO SPIDER GETTING THEM AND THEN SHE BEAT JAKE UP FOR ALMOST ALLOWING THERE CHILD TO GET IT

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Things My Dad Says That Modern AU No War Jake Sully Would Also Say:

Jake Sully is canonically a skxawng. But he’s also a little bit smooth with it, and I think he’d do it a little bit on purpose to make Neytiri and also the kids laugh.

-Neytiri and Tuk (also Spider) are the ones who will always laugh at his insane jokes. Neytiri especially. Like she always laughs. They’ve been married for like twenty years now and she’s still laughing like what he said was a surprise. Kiri and Lo’ak are NOT LAUGHING it’s NOT FUNNY shut the fuck up, Dad, oh my god. 

-Jake when Neytiri comes home from work: Neytiri, come here, let’s kiss in front of the kids and make them uncomfortable. 

-Every time they stop to get gas on a road trip and they go into the rest stop to pee while Neytiri fills the car, Jake says “Guys, don’t worry, this definitely won’t be the time she decides she can do better and just gets in the car and finally leaves us here.”

-Jake, every time Neytiri is sick: Make sure you pick the right last words for your mother in case she doesn’t wake up.

Lo’ak, always refuses to laugh at Jake’s shit: Oh really, what are your last words?

Jake, in the middle of making Neytiri tea for her sore throat: Goodbye, asshole.

Neytiri: *laughing so hard it turns into coughs*

-Every time Jake buys groceries like the good retired-veteran-stay-at-home-husband he is, he sends Neytiri a picture of the flowers and says he didn’t buy them because he knows she’d rather spend the money on the kids, and it’s their shared money anyway. He’s joking and it’s supposed to make her laugh, but she knows he’s also serious. They have five kids including latchkey child Spider, and do have to pay attention to every penny. On her birthday and on Valentine’s Day, he actually buys the flowers and presents them to her and says he scrounged the money up from behind Lo’ak’s bed. (Lo’ak: HEY!) It makes her laugh every time. It’s their cute little thing, it means he’s thinking of her every time he goes to the store even if he doesn’t spend the money every time. (Lo’ak: those are my flowers then.)

-Jake, pointing at the screen every time they watch any movie: That’s actually how me and your mother met. 

It was most egregious when they were watching Titanic. 

Lo’ak, confrontational: Oh really? You’re dead dad? And mom is like 90 years old?

Jake: Oh my god, Lo’ak, you never comment on a woman's age.

Neytiri: *hysterical laughter from the kitchen*

-Sometimes Lo’ak will forget something he needs for school and sprint back into the house to go back for it, and every time Jake and Neytiri are sitting at the kitchen table finishing their breakfast watching him and Jake goes “How can we miss you if you just won’t leave?” Neteyam copies Jake a lot and he says that shit all the time when Lo’ak, Kiri, or Spider forget something, they hate it (secretly love it).

-Kiri, complaining about what a kid did at school: -and then she told the teacher I didn’t do any of the work. Isn’t that crazy?

Jake, nodding sagely: Mhm. Do you want me to go fight her?

Neytiri: *surprised laughter*

Kiri, trying not to laugh: *deep sigh* You can’t fight a teenage girl, Dad.

Jake, pretend hurt: You think I can’t beat a teenage girl?

-Neytiri works at the hospital with Ronal. Ronal is a doctor and Neytiri is a nurse. Jake likes to put on episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and then tell Neytiri they could’ve used a better nurse during almost every scene. 

-When the Sully’s and Tonowari’s family have their first big family dinner after Lo’ak and Tsireya start dating, Jake comes down the stairs in his underwear and his stained marines t-shirt and says “I’M READY TO GO!’ and Tuk and Neytiri die laughing while Lo’ak has an aneurysm. 

[princess-of-thebes-1995]

Baby Trap Chapter 5

Yandere! Recom Miles Quaritch x Female Human Reader

You huffed in annoyance as you walked down the cold frigid halls of the head base of Bridgehead City.

 You averted your eyes from the other staff walking around. You knew you were rather popular.

 The wife of the Colonel, the first woman who gave birth to half breed Navis. Half Humans who looked like full Navi children with no traces of physical human traits. 

(The Sully kids had a quarter of human blood and human traits in their physical forms. Since Jake mated with Neytiri when he was in his Avatar Na'vi body.)

But, most of all, the worst reason. The most beautiful lady ever existed sucked a Na'vi's penis in front of multiple men. 

You gently knocked on the door of General Ardmore and you heard a mumbled affirmation to step in. You breathed in. Let's get this over with. 

Back in Hell's Gate Base, you remembered with painful memories of going to the Human Quaritch's office. The first time was to "ask" him to convince Selfridge to not cancel the Avatar Research Program. 

Then after that, having sex in his office whenever he called for you. As if you were on speed dial. And you bitterly remembered when someone almost walked in on you two years ago. 

The damn General was typing on her hologram computer. She looked to see you and she sneered before beckoning to sit you on the seat in front of you. 

You sat and she stared at you for a while before opening that vile mouth of hers. By her cold blue eyes. She obviously hated you. She reminded you a lot of Maria Walker. 

Luckily, Walker died again by Neytiri. From what you heard. You hid your glee from the Colonel. You didn't want to see her ugly face ever again. As a human at the old base, she would mock and jeer whenever the Colonel was not looking. 

Not to mention, you hated Walker even more despite being dead for almost a year. Why? Jealousy. 

Remember how your husband said he wished he was married to Walker, Zdinarsik or this bitch Ardmore because of your 'wrong' views?

Ditto. Your life would have been easy if you were married to a scientist who respected Navis. Hell, maybe even Lyle. Lyle might change sides for you. Like how Jake did for Neytiri. 

The unattractive masculine deep voice distracted you from your thoughts. "It's a shame we never spoke before. Despite you living here for almost a year." The General's smile was mocking you. 

You smiled. "I have been so busy lately."

General Ardmore nodded. "Yes, raising four kids (remember Spider is with Jake now.) and a husband must be time consuming…." Her cold blue eyes stared at your flat stomach. "And another on the way."

You gasped. How did she know? Besides, just hearing an extra heart beat is not enough to be sure you were pregnant. 

"I am not."

The General scoffed. She leaned in on her desk. "I am not stupid. The cameras showed me the pregnancy tests you bought and threw away in the trash."

Shit. 

"Did you tell your husband yet?"

You shook your head no. She raised a brow. "I also heard some yelling the other night. Lovers' quarrels?" She chuckled. 

If you weren't weaker than her, you would have slapped her ugly face. She found your annoyed expression amusing. Sadistic bitch. 

"And the Colonel's new squad. You gave them quite a show at the gym. I heard some men were jealous and wished they saw it too."

You felt your face turn red. This hag was pushing your limits. You stood up in defiance and she glared. You left and ignored her orders to stay. 

That's it. You had it! Fuck this diplomacy shit. You will run away. Or die trying. You don't care if you get caught again and get fucked in public by your husband. 

No. To hell with him. You will divorce him. Just because he is handsome and charming is not enough. You may love his qualities but you refuse to ruin your kids' life. Especially your daughter. If she stays here, she might be forced to be in a relationship with other men like you were due to her beauty when she grows up.

As usual, caught people staring at you with desire. Luck for you, they knew you belonged to the damn Colonel, they left you alone. 

Sadly, Isabella Maria was sadly noticed by the staff, soldiers, contractors and others. You had a feeling, if you or your husband weren't careful. Someone might commit pedophilia.

There was a space shuttle coming to Pandora again to pick up the Pro Navi helpers. Like you. They were sponsored by the United Nations. They would come a few times a year.

You have to find Miles/ Spider and send him a long with other two human kids back to Earth. You felt like a shitty mother. It was mistake coming to Pandora for vacation. This was the least you can do for them.