#NICE FURSUIT JEEZY BOY

[hitkidsnotjuuls420]

What if jesus was a furry ???

nice fursuit jeezy boy

[bagelboys-withcreamcheese]

Modern!Reader But Its Just Twitter, Reddit, and Tumblr Quotes

~~

Hosea: So whats the ‘turns out cigarettes are actually bad for us’ of your generation?

Reader, laying face down in the dirt: Capitalism.

—

Reader: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

Bill: Are you fucking stupid?

Reader: I mean, broadly, yeah, but what prompted you to ask?

—

Sean: Fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a nice little surprise when it begins to feed.

Reader: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury.

Kieran, whispering to himself: What the fuck-

—

Reader: I’m gonna dip a clementine in ranch.

Karen: Why do you hate Jesus?

Reader, dipping a clementine in ranch: Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and my rebellion will continue until he does so.

—

Reader: If you died and Anubis was waiting for you instead of Jesus, what would you say?

Swanson: Sick fursuit, Jeezy Boy.

Hosea: Oh my god you’ve corrupted him-

—

Dutch: We’re going to go to Tahiti and become mango farmers. This is the hill I will die on.

Reader: Weird hill to die on, but at least you’re dead.

—

*in Colter*

Reader: I’d say fuck the weather but it’s definitely under 18.

—

Reader: Your satchels are so small! Where do you keep all of your trash??

Lenny: In my tent.

Sean: My personality, to be honest.

Dutch, walking past: Thats no way to refer to my children.

—

Uncle: I really don’t understand how a lot of you are still single because you’re all attractive and have good music taste, what more do people want?

Reader: Sanity.

Uncle: People are so demanding.

—

Reader: When an earthquake happens coffins become underground maracas.

Arthur: Thanks for that totally not terrifying image.

—

Lenny: *after being forced to read the entire Percy Jackson series* Are Medusa’s leg hairs tiny snakes??

Reader: Now we’re asking the real questions.

—

Sean: If you spell skeletons backwards it still spells skeletons.

Reader: Can’t wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks!

—

Reader: You’d just be sitting in class and then you’d just hear this random muffled scream from a nearby class and you’d just be like what the fucks going on??

Hosea: ...what kind of a school did you go to?!

Reader: Public school.

—

*Hunting*

Reader: BUT AYE WOOD WALK FAYVE HUNDRED MAYLES AND AYE WOOD WALK FAYVE HUNDRED MORE JUST TA BEE THA MAN HOO WALKED A THOOSAND MAYLES TA FALL DAWN AT YER DOOR-

Arthur: Y/N! Goddammit you’re scaring away all the game!

Charles: I’m pretty sure I saw a bear run away from us.

—

Reader: Therapy is expensive but it’s free to just tell yourself ‘it be like that sometimes.’

Hosea: What? No-

—

Lenny: If you’re fortunate enough, your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness.

Reader: Not if I swallow this glow stick!

Dutch:

[kevin-the-jerk]

I feel like Kevin would be the type to be sent to anubis and immedately would go, "Nice fursuit jeezy boi." only for him to be sent back to earth cause neither god nor the devil wanted to deal with this son of a b

yeah that’s canon now. Kevin is now aware of the concept of a fursuit. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted?