#NO ONE is drift compatible liek the hawkeyes

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

hawkeye squared for the otp meme please? 🥺

as usual, i feel i need to suggest the idea of Lin Manuel Miranda as Clint, though I just saw a gifset of Manny Jacinto, and he is ALSO a great option

What was their first impression of each other?

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”“

As awful as it is, I LOVE them having their meet ugly when Clint thinks it’s a gangbusters idea to attack a teenager on a date in a carriage in central park. like. what a dumbass. also, both of them being all “I’m Hawkeye!” “no you’re not, I’m Hawkeye!”

What is their ship name?

Hawkeye Squared. It’s just cute. At some point they get asked (by a drunk Tommy, probably) what the square root of Hawkeye is, if it can be squared. Obviously, the square root of Hawkeye is Lucky the Pizza Dog

Describe their relationship dynamic.

two wrongs don’t make a right, but two competent individuals make a team of idiots.

I don’t know--they’re just so human with each other. They run with superpowered super special people, and that affects how they see themselves. I think they forget how breakable they are, and at the same time they’re really aware that they’re normal. (and maybe, they’d never admit it, feeling inadequate sometimes). With each other they get to be human, and they get the ordinary human stuff they have to deal with. 

They’re really competitive, but in a fun way. Their underlying competitiveness also makes them strive to be better. 

In some ways, their relationship is a meeting in the middle--Clint coming up, Kate coming down. Clint wants to be more together, less reckless, less one night stand with mob molls. Kate wants to be less...rich bitch. More aware of how money has made her life easier, how her life experiences aren’t typical. 

They each want to be more stable for the other, they just want to be there for each other. They’re both messes, but it’s better when they are messes together.

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Manatee and mento.

No no just kidding. Most of their friends and Avengers coworkers think they had a mentor/mentee relationship, but the only think Clint has mentored Kate in is how to get horribly injured.

That’s one of my favorite things about their relationship. Kate was Hawkeye completely independent of Clint. She was a team leader, she had her shit TOGETHER, but the instant she hung out with Clint for any length of time she transforms into a garbage can person. 

Their relationship trajectory is definitely idiots to friends to lovers. Their relationship status has been “in cahoots with” for almost as long as they’ve known each other. They’re just....their relationship is like Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara’s. Like, that’s not the dynamic, but it’s the feeling, you know?

They joke about being in love with/married/non-sexual life partners forEVER before one day it’s like “ha ha oh SHIT am I joking??”

How would they describe each other?

they each think the other is one of the best people they know. And that being together makes them want to be better. 

if Kate isn’t listening, Clint will absolutely admit she’s the better shot. NOT BY MUCH, but if he HAD to say, that would be his answer. She’s a total badass. He’s John Mulaney’s every monologue about Anna. “My partner is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH” “she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her” “i’ve never been supervised before” “she’s my HERO”. Seven drink Clint will just talk about everything about Kate that he likes. Many, many Avengers can attest that this is a very long list.

If Clint isn’t listening, Kate will say that Clint is one of the best men she’s ever met, and he looks BANGING in a skirt. He wants so much to do the right thing and even if he gets it wrong he just keeps trying and how can you not be inspired by that? He inspired her to be better and kinder and try harder, and keep trying, keep fighting. There’s always someone to help. Being a hero isn’t just about stopping dictators bent on world domination or fighting aliens. It’s not always about the world. Sometimes it’s about your neighborhood, or your building. Sometimes it’s just saving a dog. Clint’s always reminding her that being a hero isn’t about the size of the heroing. It’s just about doing the right thing.

What do they love about each other?

everything they tell people about each other, lol. 

They love that they’re both superheroes, that they’re both Hawkeye. That they keep trying and keep trying. 

What do they have in common?

Coffee, dogs, cars, purple, arrows

What are some differences between them?

I feel like they both have weird ideas of what’s normal as far as childhood experiences, but while Kate’s tend towards “what do you mean you didn’t have a nanny and a fencing instructor and a music tutor” and Clint’s are more along the lines of “eat all the food because you don’t know where your next meal might come from”

Kate also takes better care of cars than Clint does. She’s also a better chameleon than Clint--she can blend into different scenarios better than he does. It helps that Kate likes doing it more than Clint does. 

What made them realize they were in love?

A million little things that added up to mean “I can’t imagine my life without you”. But probably when Kate bounced to LA after their Big Fight and they realized they did Not like being apart from each other. They didn’t call or text during that time and it was MISERABLE. They’re slightly codependent. They know it. It’s fine.

What are their love languages?

they’re actually really big on words of affirmation (i have to look up love languages every time i get to this question so i give actual love languages answers) it’s never big flowing speeches but they’re always telling each other “good shot” “good coffee” “you’re amazing hawkeye” “i know hawkeye” and physical affection of course. They’re very big on consent in all situations so Clint has taken to signing stuff like “wanna cuddle” “hey can i hold your hand” etc etc (steve and bucky see them do this and pick up the habit). physical affection also includes patching each other up when it’s not a hospital worthy injury

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

eventually and on accident

they’re partners for YEARS and everyone thinks they’re banging, and then when they finally DO start banging nobody thinks they are. so they’re in this weird limbo of being in a healthy committed relationship that none of their peers know about despite seeing it all the time. 

so they accidentally get married for a job, or one of them is like “Fuck! i field our taxes jointly this year, we gotta get married!” (i have no idea how this mistake happened. Is Jarvis in cahoots with Jonas and Viv to set them up? Probably)

You know how Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were like “wait, did we get for real married on the set of Dracula years ago?” like that vibe is also good. That Clint and Kate TECHNICALLY got married when she was like. twenty for undercover reasons. And never realized it. so they’re going to file paperwork and some poor wage drone is like “uh, we already have paperwork filed on a ms. bishop...AND a mr. barton” *frantic clicking* “uh, it looks like you’re already married???”

they have a fake fight over missing anniversaries. every single one of their friends has a moment of “why did hawkeyes happen to me”

they have a wedding that’s mostly just a huge party. Kate gets kidnapped by von Doom (he promised he would! they have a weird friendship) Billy and Steve fight over who is going to officiate. somehow eli wins. all of clint’s exes dance with kate. all of kate’s exes dance with clint. wade declares himself both groomsman and bridesmaid, staving off the inevitable fight of who “got” Wade (that Kate would have won, no sense in hurting Clint’s feelings, that’s Wade’s opinion)

the proposal happens after the wedding. they want to get the most bang for their buck, and they’re both petty little shits, so Kate “surprises” Clint with a proposal at some big snooty gala Derek Bishop is hosting. during the gala and the flood of paparazzi, they “accidentally” “escape” for a makeout sesh and “inadvertently” lead the press to evidence of Derek’s criminal activities. they get engaged and he gets arrested in the same night. it’s a very productive proposal.  

What would happen if they never met?

not an option. they always meet. even if a universe is missing one of them, the multiverse will find a way to make them meet, even for a short time. they represent something greater-than-self for each other, and they both need that. it’s easy for them to get tangled up in their depression, their ptsd, their mental health issues and feelings of inadequacy, but --

it’s like. “i’m not alone” there’s someone else out there. and some days it’s like, you know what, I bet he/she is fucking up my good name. I have to get up and do something. some days it’s like there’s someone else out there with my name. it’s okay for me to take a break and breathe. everything is going to be ok.

Who dies first? How does the other one react?

Kate, by thirty seconds TOPS. they die saving the universe, of course, and specifically an angry mama cat

they die sprawling next to each other, bleeding out, Clint internally, Kate externally. her blood haloes around her head and she’s talking to Clint, voice weak and it’s a miracle his hearing aids are still working, because as much as he doesn’t want to hear this he doesn’t want Kate to feel alone, and she’s saying how she’s scared and she can’t feel her legs and she flails an arm at him and he catches her hand, pressing kisses to her bloody knuckles

and then Kate stops talking, he can’t hear her breathing and she’s still, so still, and he drags himself closer to her carving in to what little time he has left on this earth and he doesn’t care, kisses her still-warm face, gently closes her glassy eyes. sobbing, he pulls her to him. “I’m right behind you, girly-girl.”

Are there any love rivals?

yes and no? I think Clint would consider Kate’s team as a whole a threat to his monopoly on Kate’s affections. But I also don’t see them being very monogamous all the time. I think they’d very easily and happily expand to a polyamorous relationship. they’re both such nerds about it, too. like, they KNOW the other is awesome, naturally everyone wants part of that awesomeness, and they deserve to have people in their lives who think they are awesome. 

they are also weirdly possessive in a lot of ways. at least, Kate is. Clint likes people claiming ownership of him, of belonging. Clint can belong to other people, but Hawkeye is hers. Because hawkeye is her, and hers, and it’s a tangled mess of ownership and pronouns but they get it, and everyone else leaves the weird Hawkeye stuff alone for the most part.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

moments of realization. when they realize they’ve been platonically married for YEARS and maybe they want to be....carnally married as well??? and then just. UST for MILES. Staring. looking away. staring again. getting caught staring! oh no! the terrible, horrible, gut churning moment of being found out, of “this won’t hurt our friendship or our working relationship, i swear, do you want me to leave?” followed by the other party suddenly barreling into them, initiating a frantic makeout and grinding sesh, the RAGE that they could have been doing this for how long???

What do other characters think about this relationship?

“so are you guys together for real now, or what?” and “lmao no you’re not fooling me again! nice try though.”

there are so many people who don’t believe they’re a for real couple. and to be fair, there was that once time they pretended to be a couple and did a registry and everything. i’ve said it before, though, that someone could walk in on Kate and Clint banging and just be like “huh. weird Hawkeye thing” and never once think “oh my god clint and kate are an item”

Kate could literally be pregnant with Clint’s baby, they could be buying a house together, they could be on the Newlywed show, and most of their friends and teammates will be all “psh, codependent much? you gonna paint the outside of the house purple or what?”

Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

honestly anything goopily domestic. the sigh of relief when they both drop their go-bags in the entry way and realize they’re home. slow dancing in the living room. Kate telling Clint to start a load of laundry, only he pretends he can’t see her signing, so she throws an orange at him. Clint’s being honored at some pompous thing he hates or Stark has him on stage for some Avengery thing and Kate signs obscene or funny things to him and he has to keep a straight face.

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

all about the hurt/comfort here

so this is a post-Battleworld kind of thing. Everyone’s been flung to different universes and 616 doesn’t exist anymore and nobody knows if their friends are dead, if they’re ever going to see them again. 

And Clint spots Kate (she’s bossing people around because she’s good at it, in every universe, he notes) but he’s not getting his hopes up. he’s seen a lot of Kates, and they’re all good, they’re all great, but they’re not his Katie-Kate, It’s not fair to compare every Kate in the multiverse to one single solitary Kate that he happens to like more than anything else, but screw fair, right?

Kate spots him. And she doesn’t really react, and Clint’s bracing himself to deal with Kate but not quite Kate, and they’re both making painfully polite small talk and he eventually says something about coming from 616 and it’s instantaneous, the change in her. “What the fuck did you just say, Clint? Clinton Francis Barton I swear to god if this is a joke--”

and it’s the Correct Kate, everything is good, great, wonderful, and then they get arrested for public indecency. 

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

I don’t have a lot of headcanons for them, tbh? their braincells are repellent to one another. put them together and they’re just idiots trying to make their way in the universe. 

oh! individually, they are so unlucky, but put them together and it kind of cancels out? their together jobs have the best outcomes. and their together jobs are how they acquire all sorts of random stuff. like an apartment building, a yacht, a Mars rover prototype, a child, a few extra spouses...

What does a typical date look like for them?

pizza, coffee, petting their dog and strangers’ dogs. takeout, stopping an armed robbery, cleaning up injuries, snuggling on the couch with popcorn or shave ice. they’re also working on a duo acrobatic routine in their spare time.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

when Kate comes back. she leaves and it sucks, but she comes back and they don’t know where this is going, but they know their partnership is vital, and they’re going to make it work

(also when Clint let Kate drive the skycycle)