#No emotional enmeshment or being treated like the therapist he refuses to seek out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 7 months

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My dad at any given opportunity: “I used to have an as good or even better memory than [my name] and you know how good her memory is.”

I feel like this guy is competing with me by remembering how he was at my age — always has.

And (unrelated) if I criticize him or say anything at all with anything other than happiness or neutrality in my voice, his response is always “Sorry, but you have to understand I’m not feeling good right now. I’m trying to be a father to you; I wish I had a father at your age. I’m suffering. I have [this this and this] wrong with me; and THE ELDERS—“ Dad, Dad… you NEVER feel good; you know this and you’ve lied to me COUNTLESS times by saying you’d try to get help. Go to therapy for fuck’s sake.

“But Jehovah’s organization!” Fuck Jehovah’s organization. If Jehovah’s organization really cared about its members, you wouldn’t be so frightened of defaming its good name at the expense of your mental and PHYSICAL health. If Jehovah’s organization really cared for you, you wouldn’t be hiding your trauma from people who can help “because it’ll hurt Jehovah” like a wife who developed Stockholm syndrome from being beaten by her love-bombing husband.

#exjw #fuck everything about this #I understand you’re old and broken-down but you lack self-awareness in all the worst places #and it’s making you even older and more broken-down #religious trauma #I’m at the point where I can hardly stand being in the same room as him #I’m not asking for him to be happy or pleasant all the time… that’s impossible; I’m asking to be treated with some level of real respect #not as a weaker vessel #not as an object of competition #not as something he owns and has all the rights to because he and Mom tried for me and suffered to have me #I want to be treated as an adult offspring ought to be treated #No jokes or laughing about my sex or traits of neurodiversity #No homophobia #No emotional enmeshment or being treated like the therapist he refuses to seek out #No religious fearmongering #No judging my choice of self-made meals because they’re not “good enough” by his standards #No infantilizing

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