#Noncomm is manipulation

[charming-degen]

How can you leave them alone in their darkness?

This post is about non communication and the negative impact of it especially when used as punishment. BEFORE I BEGIN I AM NOT EQUATING NON COMM WITH AN INABILITY TO MESSAGE/ANSWER CALLS. I'M TALKING ABOUT A REFUSAL TO TALK TO SOMEONE YOU CHOSE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH!!! Okay.... again I'm not talking about one partner trying to call the other while they are busy. I'm talking about a sub upsetting their dom and their dom using non comm as a way to Control them, or to make them regret upsetting them. This lifestyle more than any other is based in trust, respect, AND COMMUNICATION!!!! (Also this applies to subs who get upset at their dom and refuses to answer calls/messages. It goes both ways.) If you need to take a beat and calm down about something, let your partner know and then do so. A simple "Hey, you doing (x) really upset me and I'm going to walk away for a few minutes so that I don't take my anger out on you." That alone can save someone who's probably already feeling miserable cause they have upset you from spiraling and feeling like they aren't good enough/too much. In a relationship where trust, respect, and communication are the foundational aspects of it, non comm is a breaking down of two of them; communication obviously, but also it is a breaking down of respect. Because you are treating them as if their feelings aren't important to you at all. And as stated earlier, dominants can also be made to feel like they don't matter if non comm is used as a punishment. We are supposed to care for those we are in a relationship with. When they are suffering in the dark thoughts of their minds, how can you say you care about them when you leave them alone to suffer, just because you want them to feel your displeasure? To wrap it up: Non comm is a childs game of manipulation. It's disgusting. It's damaging. It's rude. It's just plain fucking wrong. Grow up. Talk about what you are feeling with your partner. Work things out, and if you can't respect yourself and them enough to walk away and free both of you.