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dorky-bird · 4 years

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Love Coded Scars- Shinkami Soulmate Au

Note: Hello! I love soulmate Au’s and I love Shinkami, so I decided to write one myself! I hope you enjoy! This has also been posted on AO3, under the username ‘TheOneAndOnlyBird’!

Tags/warnings: Soulmate AU, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 2-A, Shinsou Hitoshi is Bad at Feelings, Shinsou Hitoshi Needs a Hug, Pining Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki is a Dork, Kaminari Denki Has ADHD, Bisexual Kaminari Denki, Bisexual Disaster Kaminari Denki, Kaminari Denki is a Ray of Sunshine, Pining Kaminari Denki

Pain is an essential part of life. It comes at the most expected and unexpected times. It could be physically or could be emotionally, but pain is everywhere. Especially in a world filled with quirks, such as the one Denki Kaminari lives in.

Soulmates were also a big part within the pain department of this world, as it was directly linked. In this world, if your soulmate were to get themselves physically hurt, a red mark would appear on your body in the same shape as their injury. The shade of red would be able to tell you upfront how severe the injury is and how much pain your soulmate was in.

And Denki was in a constant state of worry due to this fact.

Ever since he was young, Denki had red bruise marks on his arms, his face, his legs. They were always everywhere and constant. Consistent, too. In middle school up till the present day, there are dark red slashes all along his arms, around the area of his wrists. He didn’t connect what could be causing it. At least, not until his father told him that it could be self-harm when he finally told his family about his concerns.

That caused him to worry even more than he had before.

Denki has tried to ignore his concern for it by wearing long sleeves, putting makeup and concealer on the red bruises that appeared on his skin, anything to avoid having to think about the fact that his soulmate was out there constantly hurt and most likely hurting themselves. It really hurt him to know that he couldn’t do anything to help… at least not until he found whoever it was.

Denki sat in the common room of class 2A, on the couch with his legs pulled close and crisscrossed as he stared ahead in thought.

“You okay?” A voice calls from the right of him, causing him to jump. Denki turned to the source of the voice and felt relief fill him at the familiar lavender eyes that looked back into his golden ones. Ever since Hitoshi Shinsou joined the hero course, they'd been attached at the hip. At first, Hitoshi hadn’t wanted to have any friends, but Denki had been persistent and wouldn’t leave him alone. Once Hitoshi had finally accepted that he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon, they started talking and clicked.

“Yeah... Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about my soulmate I guess…” Denki shrugs his shoulders as he watches his purple-haired best friend, shifting in his seat to be a little more comfortable.

Hitoshi frowns a bit and sighs. “Need to talk about it?” He asks, sitting down next to Denki on the couch,

Denki couldn’t help but notice that Hitoshi looked a bit... Sad to talk about this. He began to wonder if HIotshi thought he had a soulmate at all since he had never once mentioned it. With other kids, it was a constant thing people were talking about. But Hitoshi had never brought it up or talked about his own soulmate.

“I probably should…” Denki murmurs as he looks down at his fidgeting fingers. “I’m just… Worried, y’know? Whoever my soulmate is, they are in constant pain. I see it, I’ve seen the marks. It’s just…” His voice broke a bit. This was the reason he hated talking about it, it always hurt. He couldn’t be of any help to whoever it was. Being an aspiring hero and knowing someone was getting hurt, especially the person who was supposedly his soulmate, and not being able to do anything? Torture.

“Hey, hey,” Hitoshi said softly, hesitantly placing a hand on the others back. “It’s gonna be okay, Sparky… How bad is it? Maybe it’s not as bad as you think. Maybe they’re okay.” He tries to reason.

Denki glances up at his friend with a frown. He was glad for the touch, it was grounding and comforting… a lot more comforting than when anyone else did it, and he couldn’t understand why. He sighs softly before rolling up his sleeves, showing the dark red slash marks that were all along his wrists.

“I think whoever it is… is hurting themselves and getting hurt… There are also several red bruises on my stomach and chest. They are getting hurt, Toshi, and I can’t do anything about it.” He says softly, tears gathering in his eyes. Hitoshi seems to freeze as he listens to Denki, staring down at the wrists of the other and then at his own covered ones. His eyes kept darting back and forth between the two before he looked into the other’s eyes with his own wide ones.

“Denki…” Hitoshi murmurs quietly before pausing. “It’s gonna be okay. He’ll- They’ll be okay, I’m sure.” He sighs out, rubbing Denki’s back gently.

“How?” Denki asks, his voice breaking as his lips quivered. “How the hell can you be so sure that they aren’t suffering? That they don’t need my help?”

“I can’t…” Hitoshi agrees. “I can’t be truly sure, and neither can you, so it’s no use worrying about it right now. You can worry about it when you eventually find them.” He said with a nod. Denki let out a shaky breath. He knew his friend was right... He couldn’t do anything about it, so he should stop worrying about it for now. Maybe he should just worry about finding whoever his soulmate is, then worry about what was hurting them so much. He could worry later.

“You’re right, you’re always right,” Denki mutters with a small chuckle, rolling his sleeves down in order to hide the marks again. “Thanks, Toshi.”

Hitoshi just gives the other a small forced smile. “Anytime, Denki.”

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To say that Hitoshi was freaking out would be an understatement. He was full-on panicking. The only good thing about what he just found out was that Denki was his soulmate, his crush ever since he first joined 2A was his soulmate! But that also came with the drawbacks.

If he told Denki, then Denki would know he self-harmed and eventually find out what was going on at his foster home. He couldn’t let that happen! Denki couldn’t know! Nobody could know! He didn't want to be seen as weak when he spent so long trying to prove to people that he was strong.

He paced back and forth in his room as he thought, a habit that he had picked up on from Denki after seeing the other do it time and time again. It was better than getting out the knife he kept in his room. He hated doing it… but it was one of the only things that calmed him down anymore.

He needed to think about this to just calm down and rationalize it. Everything... It would be fine. He’d just have to hide it. He liked Denki… He really really liked him and was over the moon about them being soulmates. But he couldn’t let him know he was getting abused in his foster home or that he was hurting himself. He didn’t want to be viewed as weak.

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It has been a month since Denki and Hitoshi had that talk, and Denki had been noticing how… distant the other was since then. He started talking to him less and avoiding conversation. It really hurt more than it should.

He sighs as he runs over everything in his head, staring up at the ceiling from his bed. Hitoshi was acting so weird! They used to hug a lot since Denki himself is a cuddle bug and loves to be held and hold others. But Hitoshi stopped accepting the hugs.

Why was his friend pushing him away so much? Why did it hurt so much when he did? Why did it feel like the more he pushed him away the heavier his heart felt and- oh god, he was in love with Hitoshi, wasn’t he?

Denki stared wide-eyed at the ceiling above him as he slowly came to a realization. He loved Hitoshi. It wasn’t abnormal to fall in love without being soulmates with that particular person, but it never went good if two people tried to date and weren’t soulmates. It always ended up with them breaking it off. Your soulmate was the only one for you in this world.

Denki groaned as his face heated a light pink, burying his face in his pillow. Of course, he realizes this now, when Hitoshi is ignoring him! Just his luck! Especially since they aren’t soulmates or Hitoshi would have told him when he showed him the- ...Wait.

Denki then began to think as he paused in his self deprecating rant. After showing Hiotshi the scars, he started to avoid Denki. If Hitoshi was the one getting hurt through all this… would he have said anything? Denki picked his face up from his pillow as he thought. Hitoshi was always strong and independent… too independent, really. It would make a lot of sense, especially now with the new development of Hitoshi avoiding him.

The constant long sleeves, the constant avoidance about talking about soulmates and home life, and the constant need to prove himself. A feeling of dread entered his stomach, with a feeling of hope. The good news is that Hitoshi and he may be soulmates, which would be amazing. The bad news through that is that he would be getting hurt… and hurting himself as well.

Shit… Shit shit shit!! Denki immediately sprung up from his bed, eyes filled with worry as he began to pace back and forth around his room, debating on what he should do next. Should he go tell the teachers? No, that would cause Hitoshi to lose trust in him. Go to Hitoshi? But how could he bring this kind of thing up! It wasn’t like a normal soulmate situation… Hitoshi was being abused and hurting himself. How did he approach this without fully sending Hitoshi into a panic? Hell, he didn’t even know how he wasn’t panicking!

Denki took a deep breath as he stilled, looking towards his door. ‘Well… Here goes nothing.’ Denki thought with a gulp before heading to the door, a slight shake to his hands from the panic and worry flowing through his veins. He just kept repeating in his head that Hitoshi was getting hurt… He was probably getting abused… And now Denki could help him. He could finally help. Why did he feel so nervous?!

Denki finally worked up the courage to slip outside of his dorm room, taking shaking but quick steps to the floor above his, where Hitoshi’s room was. He kept running over things he could say as he made his way to the lavender haired male’s room, not knowing how to do this. God, he was so confused and sick with worry. Maybe he should have gone to a teacher… No! The trust thing! He couldn’t lose his… his soulmates trust. He hadn’t even begun to process through the fact that they were actually soulmates… only the fact that Hitoshi was being hurt through all of this.

Before Denki was able to process, he was standing in front of Hitoshi’s door, gulping as he stared at it. Maybe he should wait… No! No waiting! If he didn’t do this now, then Hitoshi might get more and more hurt. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t. He took a breath and knocked on the door a few times, making a loud pounding noise against the wood.

Denki gulps and waits for a few moments, backing awake from the door, waiting for it too open. He almost hoped it didn’t… That Hitoshi was out doing something instead of being his dorm room. He was scared.

Unfortunately, Denki’s prays were not answered, as soon the door swung open to reveal the tall frame of Hitoshi Shinsou. He looked at Denki with a slightly confused expression, crossing his arms.

“Denki? Why are you here?” He asks suspiciously.

Denki took a deep breath and put on a smile. “Do I need a reason to see my very best friend?” He asks cheerily, hiding his shaking hands behind his back.

Hitoshi gave him a look that showed he didn’t believe him for a second. “...Why are you really here?”

Denki deflated a bit, looking to the ground and sighing. “...Can I come in to explain?” he asks quietly, hating how weak he was about this. He was supposed to be a hero! Why was he so scared about helping Hitoshi?

Hitoshi raises an eyebrow in worry but stepped aside to let the smaller boy into his room. Denki sighs in relief when he wasn’t pushed away by the other, stepping into the room and heading to sit on Hitoshi’s bed. He always felt wrong in Hitoshi’s room. It was very minimalistic, which he supposed fit his personality, but it just seemed… wrong. There was only a semi-soft bed that was provided by the school with some pale purple sheets and blankets and a pillow thrown on top messily. He always felt like Hitoshi should have some more things, as that really was it. Everything else in the room was barren, save for a desk and chair in the other corner of the room.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Hitoshi asked suddenly, making Denki snap out of his thoughts.

“Oh, right. Um... How do I.. say this..” He murmurs, tapping his foot anxiously as he chewed on his thumb. Both nervous habits that developed due to built up energy in his body due to his quirk.

“Just spit it out if that’s easier.” Hitoshi cut in bluntly, making Denki wince. That wasn’t easier, but fully explaining it was definitely much harder. Maybe he should have thought this over before coming over to think of what he was going to say. God, why did he have to be so impulsive!

“Hitoshi, I think we are soulmates.” Denki blurts out, immediately hiding his face in his hands out of pure anxiety. What if he was wrong? Would Hitoshi laugh at him? Would this mean they would stop being friends? Would Hitoshi hate him? Why wasn’t he saying anything?!

Denki peaked out of his fingers to look at Hitoshi, who was silent, just staring at him with a shocked expression. He knew Hitoshi typically tried to keep his emotions secret, but he seemed to not be able to right now. And that was worrying. Was he right? If he was right, then Hitoshi was being hurt. God, he couldn't wrap his head around any of this.

“....I know we are.” Hitoshi finally spoke up after a couple minutes of stunned silence. “How… How did you find out?” He asks in quiet shock, moving to hide his arms, more importantly his wrists, behind his back.

Denki swallows and uncovers his face. “Figure it out while I was in my dorm… It just made sense. After I expressed my concerns about my soulmate to you and showed you the marks, you started to avoid me… You always wear long sleeves and never talk about your home life…” He mutters quietly. Hitoshi was admitting it. They were soulmates, which filled him with such intense joy but also dread.

“Hitoshi, are… Your home isn’t safe, is it?”

“What tipped you off to that, Genius?” Hitoshi bit back, sounding harsh, but Denki had known him long enough to know it was just a defence mechanism.

“Toshi, don’t do that… We’re soulmates! Please don’t push me away, I can help…” He stood from the bed to be on a more even playing field with Hitoshi, despite being four inches shorter than the taller teen. “You don’t need to stay in an abusive household. If you’re being hurt, we can get you out!”

“No, you can’t!” Hitoshi shouted, taking a few steps backward from Denki, glaring at him though there was hurt and fear clouded in his violet eyes that were clear as day to Denki. “You don’t understand, Denki… I’ll have nowhere to go! I’m stuck there if I still want to go to UA. If I leave, I can’t go here anymore, and I’d rather suffer through that and become a hero then go somewhere safe and lose my dream!” He growls out, refusing to look at Denki anymore.

Denki felt like he had been slapped in the face. Hitoshi felt like he had no other choices… That he had to stay in abuse in order to come to school. To be a hero. “Hioshi…” He tried, reaching out to the other.

“Just get out, Kaminari.” He hissed, looking back to glare directly into the others eyes.

Denki flinched when Hitoshi used his last name instead of his first. It’d been a really long time since either of them had used last names to refer to each other. They were best friends. Hell, they were soulmates! Though, it seemed like Denki’s approach to this whole situation was the wrong one… He may have just lost that.

Denki swallowed and gave a small nod. “Okay, Toshi… I’m sorry.” He murmurs, slowly heading over to the door and looking back to Hitoshi. It hurt seeing him so obviously distraught but trying to hide it. Hitoshi always hated showing his emotions. He never understood what could have started that until now. Upon seeing Hitoshi completely ignore him, he opened the door and left.

Denki had never felt more useless in his entire life.

-One week later-

It’d been a week since either of them spoke to each other entirely, and they were both sick of it and missed each other. As much as Hitoshi didn’t want to admit it, they were soulmates. Denki knew about all the hurt that he was going through. All the pain that he dealt with all his life and all the pain that he put himself through as well. And that was terrifying. Though, Denki didn’t seem to be telling anyone… Anything.

Denki stayed silent, both about them being soulmates and about his abuse. He was very thankful for that, but it was also strange. He knew Denki well, and knew that he couldn’t ever keep his mouth shut ever. He talked about everything that came to his head, sometimes ever interrupting himself in the middle of a sentence because he remembered something. Which was honestly really cute and endearing… Denki in general was cute. God, he missed him.

Hitoshi sat in the corner of the lunch room, having no money to get lunch that day. He hated that his foster parents didn’t provide him any money, but what was he gonna do? Call them out for it and risk getting beat again? No thanks. He’d rather not have that happen again.

Hitoshi’s homelife wasn’t the best. He wasn’t hit everyday, but he still was hit and punished whenever he broke a rule, and there were a lot of rules for him to follow. No questions. Limited talking. Get your chores done. Cook your own food or starve. Don’t cook something too big for yourself, ‘We aren’t made of money’. No talking back. Do everything they say. No quirk use. And those were just the base rules he was told. Nevermind the rules that went unsaid or ones they made up on the spot just to be able to punish him.

It was a lot, but he was used to it. He was fine and he’d rather be able to achieve his dream. He’d suffer through any kind of pain if it meant he could stay at UA. This was the first school that didn't treat him like he was stupid for wanting to become a hero or that he, in turn, was a villain. It was nice. It felt homey, for once in his life. He felt safe there. And it gave him a break from his foster home while he lived in the dorms, which he was very thankful for. He had time to not worry about the rules, but he never strayed too far from the rules that had been instilled in him. After all, he still had to go back to them on weekends and breaks.

Hitoshi was so lost in his own thoughts that when a bento was held in front of him, he flinched. Harshly.

“Oh, sorry, Toshi! Should have warned you I was coming over.” A sad but chipper sounding voice resounded with a soft fake sounding laugh. Denki.

Hitoshi let out a sigh of relief and looked up at the blond from his seated position on the ground. “...What are you doing over here, Denki?” He asks quietly, slowly moving to be able to stand.

Denki sighed and shifted, again holding out the bento. “You stopped eating again at lunch for a couple days… So I made an extra one when I packed my lunch this morning.” He murmurs softly. “You should be eating better.”

Hitoshi blinked in surprise. They’d both been completely ignoring each other, or so he thought. Apparently, Denki had been observing him for the past couple days to notice his lack of eating. This boy was too sweet and caring for his own good. He may be a dumbass chaotic flirt, but he really did have a good heart. He hated how the others' actions made his face heat up just a bit and his heart pound. They really were soulmates, huh? God dammit…

“Uh… Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that, Denki.” Hitoshi mutters quietly, taking the bento from his hands, fighting down the urge to smile.

“No, I didn’t, but I wanted to.” Denki nodded, a worried look in his eyes that wasn’t lost on HItoshi. Denki was worried about him. That much was clear to see, as plain as day as the lighting bolt in his golden hair. He just wanted to reassure the other that he would be okay. That he was fine. Unfortunately, he knew the other would never believe that. They were connected through their injuries. Denki knew every time he hurt himself or was hurt. That hurt more than the physical pain.

“I…” Hitoshi sighed and closed his eyes as he looked down. Debating in his head. “Denki, can we talk? About… Us? About all this?” He waved one hand between the two of them vaguely, knowing the other would completely understand what he was referring to. They needed to talk about all this.

Denki immediately perked up at the mention of finally talking about all this, nodding eagerly. “Please? This has been killing me!” He begs, clasping his hands together and looks up at him with big sad puppy dog eyes.

Hitoshi blushes softly and looks away. “I already said we should talk, no need to give me that look.” He grumbles, quickly grabbing the others wrist in a gentle but firm grip as he tugged him out of the lunchroom, heading quickly for the dorms.

The walk there was completely silent, which was weird with them. Hitoshi wasn’t much of a talker himself unless fully comfortable in a situation, but Denki talked often and about anything. He could talk a dog off a meat wagon. Denki just went on and on about anything he could think of, which was great for Hitoshi’s lack of speaking. He liked listening to Denki just ramble on and on about stupid things. It was amusing seeing him getting so passionate about things that were honestly crazy and kinda stupid. But not now. Both Hitoshi and Denki were silent during that walk, the only noise were their footsteps.

They soon got back to the dorms, thankfully not having been stopped or spotted by any teachers leaving the lunch room. Hitoshi tugged him up to his room, closing the door after they had both entered the room.

Hitoshi took a deep breath. “Okay… Let’s… Let’s take this one thing at a time. We’re…” He hesitated, “Soulmates.” He finally said, looking at Denki with a wary look. Denki gave a small happy smile, though there was worry in his eyes.

“Yes. Yes, we are.” Denki confirmed, swallowing. “Are… Are you disappointed? That it’s me?” Denki asked, slowly sitting on Hitoshi’s bed as he fidgeted with his fingers.

Hitoshi’s eyes widened as he shook his head quickly and moved to sit on the bed as well. “No… Denki, god no.” He reassured, sitting near the other but giving him his space. “I could never be disappointed that it was you. I’m honestly really glad that it was you… I mean, I've had a crush on you for a while now.” He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away from the blond.

“You did?!” Denki shouted, looking up at HItoshi with shock in his eyes, a smile returning to his lips. “You.. You had a crush on me? On me?! You?!”

Hitoshi sighs and nods. “Yes, I had a crush on you. Still do. Sparky, I…” He swallows, trying to work up his courage. “I really like you, Denki. A lot. And I'm really glad you're my soulmate.” He says honestly, giving the other a small smile.

“Toshi!!” Denki squealed happily, immediately launching forward. Hitoshi wasn’t sure what he was expecting after he said that. But being tackled wasn’t something he would have thought would happen.

Hitoshi grunted as he was tackled onto the bed, a happy giggling blond above him, hugging him tightly. “Have your fun, Sparks?” Hitoshi teased a bit, moving them so that Denki wasn’t hurting either of them. Though, he still let Denki rest against his chest, despite a bruise there making it semi-painful, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Denki’s waist.

Denki ignored his teasing. “I like you too… So much, Toshi.” He murmurs, snuggling into him with a bright smile. All Denki’s worry for the moment seemed to evaporate, just enjoying the moment. “...Wait, does this make us boyfriends now? Or should we go on a few dates before then?”

Hitoshi blinks. “Uh… I honestly have no clue.” He murmurs with a small shrug. “We’ll figure it out later, I guess?” He sighs before looking at the ceiling. “We’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out. We are soulmates afterall.”

Denki sighed softly. “True… We can figure that out later. Now, we can’t ignore something else.” He murmurs, pulling away just a bit so that he could look into Hitoshi’s eyes. “You’re getting hurt at home. You can’t just… Stay there, Toshi.” He says quietly.

Hiotshi frowns. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to leave the house… It’s that he had nowhere else to go that would allow him to still go to UA. “Denki… Denki, I can’t. I have nowhere else. I’m stuck.”

Denki immediately shook his head. “I know there would be a way to keep you going to UA while getting you out of that house… Hitoshi, you go to school filled with pro-heroes and hero-hopefuls. We’d be able to find you somewhere safe to stay and keep you here. Please… Let me help.” He pleads softly.

Hitoshi looked back into the other's eyes, seeing how desperate Denki was and finally sighing, closing his eyes. “Fine. You can help, but don’t stress yourself out with it.” He gave up, not able to say no to this anymore. He wanted to leave… and If Denki was so sure that he’d be able to stay at UA if he left, then why deny help anymore.

“Thank you, Toshi. Everything will be okay. I promise. I’ll be there for you through it all.” Denki smiles before settling himself back against Hitoshi’s chest. Hitoshi gives a small smile at that, holding him close.

“Okay, Sparks.” Hitoshi sighs out, his body relaxing as they cuddled, it only being a few minutes before Denki started rambling about the first thing that came to his head to fill the silence. This time, it happened to be how airplanes fly, which was very entertaining.

Everything was gonna be okay.

#soulmate au #implied self harm #self harm #child abuse #mentioned child abuse #Kamishin #hitoshi shinsou #shinkami #shinsou x kaminari #denki kaminari #Denki Kaminari has ADHD #Hitoshi Shinsou needs a hug #mutual pining

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