#OISDHFOHFOSHFOSF

[bornchaos]

there are only two responses to gods , she noticed ; beg or bow . most reactions can be summed up between these states of existence , even she has experienced being on either end of the spectrum ; she runs , what is running if not a plea to be left alone  ?  she stays , listens , what is that if not accepting their gospel  ?   gods &. her don't mix well — yet she finds her arms crossed before him , swallowing down a lump of spit that collects in throat ; it feels like razor blades ,  the sharpness slowly sliding down flesh as fingertips dig deep into arms .  it's her pride , begging to be held , to stand ground ; yet for some unknown reason , coraline finds herself slipping .

maybe because after everything , she's after a god that can speak to her on even ground ; though there's already the faint expectation of a coded message that would send alan turing into a coma . lips pressed together , overwhelmed ; needing answers . she's emotional  &.  despite trying to keep tone even , it wavers , trembles , feeling like an earthquake in the back of her throat  &.  for a single moment , she’s transported to her eleven year old self fighting to stay alive in the other world ; scar burns around arm like it's wrapped in lava ; feeling the needles prodding deep into skin with little regard for her life ; the brown eyes once born with are gone , ripped away , left to deal with a reflection in the mirror no longer recognised . 

feeling like eve after taking the bite of that apple ; exposed , vulnerable . the question that has burned in mind for as long as she remembers if finally asked ; her skin has been peeled back , why not cave  ? for once , she'll allow herself to feel like flesh &. bone , nothing else . a human staring up at something far more powerful , secretly desperate for some sort of direction . 

 ❛  will i ever figure it out ?  ❜

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 .  @friendscfmine / GOD & CORALINE ​​​​​.