#OK BYE hope i feel better (imperative)

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s02e09 The Last Word review - or more aptly named, how dare they replace Elle like that, oh shit I fell in love with Paget Brewster from the two scenes in this episode, never mind, continue, my lovelies XD

Episode 09 – The Last Word

So last episode played on every bit of emotion I had – happy, sad, fucking crying like a baby because Derek put himself in harm’s way just to comfort a victim who could be blown to smithereens like Cooke and he was completely dependent on fucking Cassie to do her job and not fuck it up. I was in emotional shambles! I swear!

So I hope this episode would be better in that it gives me some humor fodder, but I doubt it, cuz the title is very cryptic and not helpful. And the opening shot is kids running in a park and we all know by now that if you watch Criminal Minds, something fucked up is going to happen to whoever is the first shot. Fuck.

Aww! The guy ran with a Dalmatian!

Wait. They’re playing catch with their daughter like a dog? Oh my god, they’re so cute!

Oh fuck. That girl just ran into the woods on her own. Uh oh.

Hey! That guy played that fake head of S.H.I.E.L.D!

Wait, so you’re just following this guy who popped out of nowhere into the forest? Oh my god.

Oh my god, I knew this guy was gonna be awful. Shit!

Why is he seeing his mom in her bra? Come on.

And she’s blaming him for not waking her up on time?

I’m with this kid, get a fucking alarm clock. And I’m not even mad at him for being sassy.

He gave his baby brother pizza and milk? Oh my god. That mom is awful.

Aw, she’s the worst mom ever. Not bringing him pancakes when she promised.

Oh god, she’s a hooker? Oh baby.

Oh shit! He just shot that hooker! Damn!

Okay, that’s a new face. Emily Prentiss. Cute name. She’s a daughter of an ambassador. Nice. And she went to Yale? Wow! Smarty!

Oh my god, there is something we’re not getting, Hotch.

What? She’s supposed to work with the team? What? But. They haven’t gotten over Elle yet! What are you doing???? No!!!!

Wow. He just blew her off. Wow.

Wait. Someone went over Gideon and Hotch’s heads to enlist Prentiss? Uh oh.

Yup. That was is St. Louis, someone is killing hookers and moms. Yikes.

Wait. Emily is officially on the team? Okay. Welcome, Paget Brewster. I’ve seen a lot of her on the web, so she should be ok, right?

Elbert Hubbard: “If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate.” What? That made no sense. I guess I’m tired… so in order to wake up a bit, eating schnitzel with noodles.

Aww, groggy, pensive Reid is the cutest.

I’m jealous of that cup in Derek’s hand.

One of the killers wrote a letter? Oh lord, that is sick.

Oh my god, Derek talking to children is the cutest thing ever. I swear. She’s so adorable! I can’t believe Shemar is still unmarried, but it makes me beyond happy.

Oh god. She’s dead? Fuck.

Wait, the killer is still visiting her? Oh my god.

Oh god, I am totally grossed out right now. He’s actually putting lipstick on her lips, brushing her hair, and making out with a corpse. I’m sorry, but I really am trying not to judge here, but that is so disgusting to me. I know she probably is alive, but the whole acting thing is way believable.

Wow, that old lady creeps me out.

Oh, she’s the hooker’s mom. Hey! That’s no way to treat your grandkids. Oh my god, the baby is crying, do something about him.

Wow. That lady is seriously jaded.

Great. Humanizing the victims. It’s a great season, emotionally speaking.

Wait, they only have one file about the guy who killed the hooker? But three boxes on the freak who kills women, buries them up till their necks and makes out with them? Oh boy.

I like that reporter. He’s hot.

They found the mom. Thank goodness. But seriously, oh my god.

Oh shit! That taxi driver, who is apparently the Hollow Man just killed two hookers at once! Dang! He’s a quick-shooter. Fuck.

And he put the paper that glorified the Mill Creek River, ha. He was pissed.

It’s not a guessing game, dude, JJ is as much a profiler as the other guys, come on! Trust her, jackhole.

Graphology. Interesting. It’s awesome.

So he’s oppressed in his job and feels it’s draining him and he’s underappreciated and underpaid? Shit, I could be a serial killer with that profile, Reid, I’m not really feeling it.

An attention whore. Got it. That’s the Hollow Man.

The Mill Creek River is disturbed on the inside. Got it.

Another death. Fuck. The Creek Killer. Shit.

That’s him! That’s the killer! Please let them find something on him so they don’t find more bodies. But he’s too smart for that. But seriously? Hiking with no water or food supplies? That’s seriously suspicious.

So he’s familiar with the woods? Oh god.

“Now that is an awesome place to dump a person.” “Come on, Garcia.” “What? I’m just saying, angel fish … Evil knew what he was doing.” God, I love those two.

“What? Forget … No, no. I don’t want to know that. Bye-bye.” Oh sweetie, you’re so adorable, but I agree, I wish I hadn’t known what that meant either. But I do. Gross. I actually giggled over that sentence like a little girl.

They call a sniffing dog Brownie? Aww, those tough FBI agents are softies.

Well yeah. If it’s imperative that he comes to see her, he’s gonna come see her, and if they set up a trap they can catch him.

Wait. That’s the reporter guy! What the fuck?

The Hollow Man told him? What the fuck?

A news chopper? Oh no.

Oh god. He’s gonna get her on the street? Oh god.

Hey! Leave her alone, you dick! God, you are amazing, lady! So brave! And he’s such a coward.

Fuck.

I’m pretty sure the Hollow Man is an inside man. I’m suspicious he’s inside the PD.

LOVE YOU REID!

They’re talking in the personals in codes? Oh my god. The two serial killers corresponded using Catcher in the Rye names! Fuck! And dude, no offense, but every white guy/girl knows that story. Wait what, it’s a loved book of sociopaths. And Mark David Chapman quoted it after offing John Lennon? Oh lord. Wait. They know who killed him? I thought it was a random shooting. Oh lord. I have so much to learn.

“Hey, sweetness. Make me smile and tell me you got a name.” “Oh, I got scads of them, babe, but none paid for these personal ads. They went with cash, totally old school. I hate it when they’re smart. Two separate accounts in good standing.” Apart from the psychos who are outsmarting them, I love the interchange. Someone kiss someone already!

Fuck. Why pressure Reid? Damn.

Oh god, they’re using a doppelganger to bait him. Oh my god. She’s so brave. I love her. Ew.

So the Mill Creek Killer bought it. You go, Reid. Oh my god, he’s sick as fuck. Damn.

YES! They got the fucker. You go, Derek! I love watching him cuff those assholes. Thank you, Criminal Minds writers for doing it.

Oh wait, they want to give a show now? That’s impressive. They want to show the Hollow Man they caught him. And he didn’t. Ha.

I hate that guy so much. I mean, again, the character. I liked him as Mace in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

So he’s denying it? After they found him about to apply lipstick to the poor woman’s lips?

Oh he’s good. Gideon is trying to goad him into confessing by admitting they thought they’d never catch him and by implying automatically that they know it’s him.

And he’s just trying to seem nonchalant but he’s describing himself (the serial killer) as an artist, come on.

Oh snap! He just gave himself away! He just totally implicated that he belittles the Hollow Man’s work, he think there’s no imagination there in simply shooting the hookers. He thinks he’s the artist here. Oh god.

Seriously? He’s just giving it all away. Except for confessing. Damn.

Hey! Don’t tell Gideon to shut his mouth! He’s goading you into confessing!

Ha! He just confessed. He killed them. He doesn’t want them to know about his fetish? Oh come on. Give me a break.

So they’re just separating them and completely dismissing him as a dumbass? I love them. They’re just goading him into submitting himself. I love it.

I love this show.

Shit. That’s the killer. Damn.

What?! Oh god.

He just totally knocked that security guard to the floor. Damn.

Shit! He just walked into the police station like nobody’s business with a gun pointing at the security guard. Come on, man!

Yes! They got him! You go, Morgan! I love you so much!

Bah. That was awful.

Aww, Meyers sent them an article remembering the victims. So great.

They don’t need to mention the shooter. The victims are important. The assholes are now behind bars.

Mahatma Gandhi: “Remember that all through history there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible. But in the end, they always fall. Always.” Great, that’s very wise, Gandhi. But what about the period while they are raging terror? Huh?

Hey! What is Prentiss doing waiting in Hotch’s office? Come on.

I already love her tenacity.

Okay, I just fell in love with Emily Prentiss. I love her.

 Oaky, so let’s recap. Sickos killing people, really hate that part. Introducing Paget Brewster as Emily Prentiss, of course, fell in love with her immediately, even though it’s super hard for me to get over Elle leaving. Gideon was awesome as per usual. Lovely Derek and Penelope scenes. Though they were few. And overall? Just yuck over the entire case. It was weird, but won’t go unappreciated. See you all tomorrow <3

[yakumtsaki]

Well that was.. abnormally fast. Turns out I had downloaded some shorter semester mod in fucking August and then forgotten all about it! Why would I download such an unholy concoction in the first place is beyond me. It’s back in hell where it belongs now so we’re getting the full college experience going forward but ugh, upsetting nonetheless..

I mean is there enough time in the world to enjoy this crazy bitch that was slapping Gunther yesterday (for ‘cheating on her’ even though they’re not even friends) heartfart over him now? Girl what is wrong with you.

-I’M A WORK IN PROGRESS OK

Aren’t we all.

-NOT I. I’M ABSOLUTELY PERFECT THE WAY I AM, EVERYONE IN CAMPUS IS LUSTING AFTER ME AND I HAVE THE HEIR VOTE IN THE BAG

You also keep washing dishes that aren’t your own.

-A girl sees you voluntarily cleaning up, she starts to wonder what else you could offer without her asking ;)

Ew yea that’s definitely not a thing.

-IT’S A THING

YEA OK IT’S A THING. NOTHING SEXIER THAN ROTTING FOOD AND OTHER PEOPLE’S SALIVA

-Ah there you are <3 I saw you washing worm covered dishes earlier, you have to keep that for my eyes only baby <3

GODDAMMIT BLUE MEATBALLS WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SHITTING ALL OVER MY POINTS

UM OK JOIN US WHY DON’T YOU

LOL looks like you got yourself a girlfriend, Gunther! Congrats, didn’t think you had it in you.

-Help. me.

No can do baby. And I actually mean that, I wouldn’t know how to break you two up even if I wanted to. I mean you slept with someone else in the middle of your date and she stood there smiling, there’s obviously no stopping this crazy train. See you at the wedding!  

Meanwhile Daniel is making a very important call that I’m sure is gonna fail.. but you never know if you don’t try..

OMG SHE SAID YES. STEP INTO OUR HAMMER-&-SICKLE-SHAPED-WEB BRITTANY. 

LMAO see you never, nerds.

-Ooooh a love letter for me from a secret admirer <3

Yea that’s obviously for Gunther from a very special lady. I legit don’t remember which one but PUT THAT DOWN BRITTANY IS COMING, she’s gonna think you’re some kind of player. 

-Well 2 minutes of conversation are gonna take care of that misconception.

Yea you can say that again.

UUUUUUGH this can’t NOT work they’re perfect for each other I know it!!! COME ON BRIT DON’T LET ME DOWN

-FOR THE LAST TIME DANIEL, PRETTY WOMAN IS NOT ABOUT THE LUMPENPROLETARIAT 

-UGH you could not be more wrong, comrade Brit Brit, but bourgeois college apathy has obviously crushed whatever critical thinking skills managed to survive the sorority confirmation process.

Good god. Ok that’s enough, time to see what we’re really dealing with here. GET UP.

THAT’S BETTER. HOPE THOSE HEARTS AREN’T FOR THE BIRD

FUCKING BYE I KNEW IT. I KNEW THEY WERE MEANT TO BE. I mean both popularity and both suck ass at it + polar opposites at everything else?? Romeo and Juliet who.

Marvin Gaye - Let’s get it on.mp3

Interrupting our wonderful time is the cow harassing the girl Gunther woohooed in the middle of his date with Meatballs. I love college <3

Time to move this party to the bedroom! Just us, Brit, and our new best friend. Judging from the positions in the above photo, Daniel’s first sexual experience isn’t going to be a conventional one.

Aw come on Brit, don’t be like that, there’s plenty of Dan to go around!

Ok now you’re just making Mr Cow sad. Stop excluding him!!

UGH he left, hope you pillowchested assholes are happy with yourselves.

That’s right, get them, crazy secret society blonde!

-HEY I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE YOU DICKS

-WELL CLOSE YOUR FUCKING DOOR GIRL, GAWD

-NO, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP *HERE*. GET OUT OF THE BED

Hope you enjoyed the view, blondie!

The love juices have yet to dry as Wyatt rushes to occupy the bed. I feel the need to remind readers THAT DORMIES HAVE THEIR OWN BEDS. You literally wouldn’t know from looking at my game.

Case in fucking point, immediately after Wyatt awakens, another one of Jojo’s semi-lovers helps himself to our communal bed. Remember Ti-Ning? He’s stinking under the covers and as I suspected, Jojo ‘hates him’ aka is secretly into him. Good to see the Blue Meatballs stalking method gaining more fans!

WELL WELL WELL look who moved in. After Gunther ‘cheated’ on the redhead lunatic sis, the responsibility of getting us into the secret society has fallen squarely on Jojo’s frail shoulders. 

-HEY

SORRY, on Jojo’s buff, well-defined shoulders. 

-Thank you.

You keep your eye on the prize, right?

-Of course. Every step she takes, every breath she takes-

-So as I was saying, it’s an absolute disgrace that there isn’t A SINGLE flat earth class in this college. Of course we all know who’s responsible.. Starts with -I, ends with -lluminati..

-Yea, I’m out.

NO YOU DON’T. Must I remind you what’s at stake here??

-Must I remind you I don’t care about resurrecting that stupid cat? I mean if it was Victor, we’d be having a different conversation.

Ugh fucking Victor istg. But NO, I’m talking about finally getting what your tiny, murderous heart has been craving all those years.. THE COWPLANT. Just think about it, Jojo..

-Oh god, the power, the unlimited power.. Fucking Ti-Ning is first on my list.

Yea we all know you want to fuck Ti-Ning but I don’t think you have to threaten him with a cowplant, he’d probably say yes if you asked him out-

-I MEAN FIRST ON MY KILL LIST STFU

-You know what repulses me, dear Jojό? Musique classique, is absolutely the worst, no? I mean who likes it apart from bores and killers seriàl? 

-Oh yea, you’re so right, Ti-Ning WYATT.

God Jojo are you so committed to this charade of denial that you’re gonna date someone who hates creepy classical music? What’s next? Does he hate bow-ties and oedipal complexes too?

-’Scuse me, my.. girlfriend.. is waiting for me.. When did life get so unfun :(

-Oui, I think it’s imperative that you sever all relationships with anyone wearing plaid pantalons, Jojό.. Très unseemly..

-Oh my <3

Well this stamp of approval is the fucking deathblow, JOJO GET OUT NOW. TI-NING’S DOOR IS RIGHT THERE

-NEVER. IN FACT..

-My god, Wyatt, your manipulative criticism of my interests and family is attractive to say the least! 

NOP I don’t accept this, even you can’t keep this bullshit up!

-WATCH ME. I’M GOING TO BUY A RING TOMORROW. ONE MADE OF CHEESE SINCE HE’S FRENCH

</3

Speaking of ‘</3′ looks like Meatballs hired a sniper to hit Gunther with the arrow of love. I extremely have other plans for him so this is obviously not happening but NICE TRY MEATBALLS

...........OMG. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM, YOU BROKE HIM

-HA. Watch and learn bitch, first I let him be his gross whoring self.. and now that I have him.. the era of Blue Meatballs.. BEGINS.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING COWPLANT