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concealeddarkness13 · 4 years

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A New Dawn Part 17

In which the gang goes to Neo Dallas to meet Lily, Ivy, and Craw, and she experiences social anxiety and bad dreams. Tagging: @ratracechronicler and @merigreenleaf! Here is the post with links to the other parts!

No dreams overnight. I hadn’t had a dream about my past since we left Farsia. And I still didn’t know who that boy was in my previous dream. But everything was fine. I was with my new found family. I just had to not think about aliens. Everything was going to be fine.

Breakfast was amazing, as usual, and Rat complained again that I ate more than her, as if it was a competition. I still didn’t understand that. Afterwards, there was a call for Rex, so he went into another room to take the call. I just eyed the video game console while Rat, Eli, and I waited for him to return.

Noct was barking at the console as if she wanted to play too when Rex returned. He opened the hatch and stepped into the doorway, his forehead wrinkled. “So, uh…news. That was my gran who called. She wants me over by hers, stat. That usually means I get sucked up into some project—er—I can’t explain. It’s important, though.”

“Is she okay?” Rat asked.

“Yeah, yeah—it’s a good thing! Well, except it’s a sticky thing, see, cuz I can’t drag you along and we can’t stay around here for too long.” He sounded tough, but he looked nervous. This didn’t sound good, no matter what he said. What did he mean by “we” anyway?

“That’s okay—as long as it’s not an emergency or anything,” Eli said. “I’d like to meet her someday, maybe. You’ve got a nice family, Rex.” Rex snorted and shrugged at that. “We were planning on getting going soon, anyway.” We were?

“We’ll just have to hang out again some other time,” Rat added. Rex brightened, and he smiled. “We haven’t even gotten through half of your game collection, and I’ve got a big need to know what I missed throughout my childhood. All of us did, in fact.”

“Thin mash!” Rex grinned, but I frowned. What did that even mean? “You lot gotta catch up! It’s an important life skill you’re lacking, it is. You’d come back? Really?”

Eli nodded. “Absolutely.”

I looked at the console one last time. There went my hope to play more. But then I looked back at Rex with a smile. He was awesome. “It was great to meet you. Thanks for letting me play games with you.” Noct barked at him, as if she was thanking him too.

He leaned down to pet Noct as he spoke. “Thanks for joinin’, P2!”

I sighed in relief when Rex turned on the console, and we all played Galoshlimb one last time. I almost won once. It was good to get my mind off of the aliens. At least we didn’t have to leave yet.

While we were saying goodbye to Rex’s family, they kept dumping more and more food into my arms. I didn’t mind (actually their food was really good, so it was awesome), but I couldn’t see after they were done. Rat and Eli laughed and helped me stuff the food in the trunk, with some food going in the backseat for a snack. We all got in, Rat revved up the car, and we sped off to our next destination.

I immediately started munching on food. “Where are we going next?”

“Northwest-ish towards Neo Dallas, I think,” Eli said, looking through a street map. “That’s where the other twins are.”

Rat nodded. “My dearly beloathed nemeses,” she said pleasantly. “Lily and Ivy. We’ve tried so hard to kill each other. Failing that, we wound up joining forces. Lily’s more bark and Ivy’s more bite when it comes to strangers. No matter how sweet or innocent or sad she looks, it’s probably best not to trust Ivy. I still don’t. Not a millimeter. Not as far as I could throw her. Into the ocean. Affectionately, of course.”

I snorted. More nemeses. “At least, for once, we’ll be meeting your nemeses and not mine. Should I expect a fight?” My hand brushed over my knife concealed in my pocket.

“In Neo Dallas? Probably.” Rat winced. “Probably not from the sisters, though. I think. Uh. You any good with guns? Just in case.”

I shook my head. “Nah. Never used one. Maybe I could figure it out with my machine?”

“Knock yourself out, but you probably can’t learn it that fast. And I realize I don’t have any, anyway. We’ll have to wing it.”

Brilliant. I gripped my knife instead. She was being awfully non-expositiony as we got closer to the city we were headed to. “Any of your customary info dumps for this Neo Dallas?”

“My what?”

I rolled my eyes. She always had a lot to say about a city, but now she was being quiet? Eli spoke up, however. “I don’t think either of us have been there, and I haven’t heard much of anything about it except some bits of the accent when Lily lets herself use it.”

“I just know there’s tons of guns out there,” Rat said. “Lily and Ivy are smugglers, by the way, mostly for weapons. Well, Lily’s trying to be a surgeon, which’s just creative use of knives, anyway, and I don’t know what Ivy wants to be except maybe the last survivor of a zombie apocalypse or something. Eli, can you look up some interesting factaroonies on that screen thing?”

“I can check.” He paused as he looked at the map screen. “Huh. There are some skyscrapers, I guess. Not as cool as Fre Jac-Mac’s though.”

She laughed. “Filthy easterner. Alright, pals. Looks like we’re going in for a cold open. Brace yourselves.”

I shook my head and stared out the window, waiting to see the city. “Oh boy.”

It was certainly different from the other cities I had seen. Not as impressive or big as the others. There were even farms around the city! And it was dusty, not a lot of shade. It all looked older than the rest of the cities. It looked awesome!

While I was staring at the city, Eli took out his beacon and called Lily, by the look of the reflection of the screen on the window that I could totally read. She picked up and spoke. “Oh, check it, it’s the punk. Thought we shook your dust off our boots, we did. What do you want, eh?”

Eli was taken aback, and I had to stifle a laugh. I liked her already. “It’s Eli. And Rat, actually, but she’s driving. And—well, regardless of where we all stand about the extermination, I wanted to let you know we’re in Neo Dallas and wanted to ask whether you had any advice on the area for us. If you don’t want to help, I understand…”

After a pause, she snorted, but then a completely different, smoother voice spoke up. “Okay, you got me, officer. I can talk like her, but I don’t know thing one about this city, yet, either. I just got here a couple days ago—sounds like I’m not the only one who got bored of solo cruising!”

“I haven’t really tried it,” Eli replied, not seeming fazed at all. “Rat and I have been toge—you know, road tripping since the extermination and—”

“My eyebrows are dancing in a way that begs to question the suggestiveness of this—”

“—AND, we also have a new friend with us, and we’re all exploring the country together,” Eli interrupted back, and they kept interrupting each other for a little bit. I could just imagine Eli’s blush, and I couldn’t help but smirk that I wasn’t the only one who thought they should be a couple.

Craw tsked. “Well, I think it’s fantastic that you already figured out that we were supposed to stick together, plus I think we’re illegally obligated to welcome you to the posse. The sisters are out right now, though—please assume I’m guarding my dearly beloved’s beacon and that I haven’t stolen it for any purpose. You folks inbound off of Rue 8? Stay on that and you should come right upon the Westwind where we’re at. Hundredth floor. You’re welcome to join us if you’re loaded enough.”

Rat grinned. “We got the money. Luxury hotel time! I like the sound of this! Road trip’s about to get stylish!” My mind wandered to the things I could steal at a luxury hotel.

“And what’ve you been up to all this time?” Eli asked.

“Oh, crime,” he, she, they (?) answered pleasantly. “The usual. Causing civil unrest, fomenting rebellion, conspiring. Bit of theft here and there to keep things interesting.”

“Ah,” Eli sounded like he didn’t know what to say. “Good.”

“So much for that big, fancy, expensive reform exercise we had to go through,” Rat snickered.

“See you soon?” the person on the other side of the beacon said.

“Right,” Eli replied. “Take care.” He pocketed the beacon and looked back at me. “That’s our friend Craw. That’s his…”

“Guy voice,” Rat explained. “So his pronouns’re he—him and stuff right now. He’s genderfluid and outside of that he holds an identity like most of us can hold a wet bar of soap. Better at taking names than wallets, so you should be fine, but he will flirt with anyone vaguely humanoid, so be ready for that. So cool that he’s here too! Anyway, you got all that?”

I nodded. “He sounds cool.” I mean, if that intro was anything to go by. But I wouldn’t really be able to brace for flirting. It would just confuse me anyway. Oh well.

People stared as Rat drove through town, and I grinned as I looked around. This felt like home. Dusty, sunny, weapons that weren’t concealed. We stopped at a tall building, and Rat parked and ushered us in. She checked in, and we took the elevator up to the hundredth floor. I had to shove my hands in my pockets to keep from stealing something right away. It was just so…fancy. I had only seen something this fancy when I was pretending to be a rich person to steal from other rich people. Even Taeo’s apartment wasn’t this fancy.

We checked into our room, which actually had two rooms, so I had a room to myself, and while we were getting settled, there was a knock on our door.

I poked my head out of my room as Rat walked toward the door, but before she could open it, the person on the other side opened, and a person with dark, curly hair that went a little past his shoulders and tired eyes that I didn’t know the color of walked in. He was wearing baggy clothes that weren’t flashy, except for a black scarf around his neck. “You made it!” he gushed, and he hugged Rat, so he must have been their friend Craw.

“Intruder alert!” She pushed him away with a grin, and he moved on to shake Eli’s hand. Eli looked like he had been going for a hug, but he awkwardly shook Craw’s hand instead.

“Glad to see you all in one piece.” Craw smiled crookedly, but then his eyes flicked toward me, and he leaned against the doorframe. “And you must be the new friend. One I don’t recognize. Rat, how far did you have to go to find a gem like this before I’ve had the pleasure of making her acquaintance?”

Gem? Pleasure? Rat was right about him. And I still wasn’t prepared. I tried to introduce myself, but the words wouldn’t come out right. So, I just kind of fumbled and fell silent, not looking him in the eyes. He was intimidating.

“You can make her acquaintance from two meters away, smoothie.” Rat tugged at the back of his coat. I silently thanked her. “She doesn’t go in for fire. Cut the cute stuff.”

“It’s just how I talk,” he protested with a smile. “I’ll do my best. Narry a wink, even. I’ll even reign in the charming dimples.” He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, angled away from me a little more. He looked over at me, still a little intimidating. “Can I have your name?”

“None of that fae shit, either!”

He laughed and buried his face in his jacket lapels. “You got her breaking out the old language! For saints’ sakes. Does the newcomer have a tag I can know? Do I have to get all of my information through her lawyer here?”

Rat looked over at me, and I ducked my head, fiddling with my hands. “I’m—I’m Kai. I’m not from around here…”

“Enchantée. Surely, these two have gossiped all about me by now. But yeah, I’m not from around here either.” He glanced over at Rat. “My, my. Is this getting too personal? Too saucy for your taste?”

“What’re you doing here, anyway? I thought you lived out east,” Rat said.

He shrugged. “Teaching some local geezers some pidgin. Standard revolution stuff.” He looked back at me, and I stiffened. “Can’t quite catch your dialect, by the way.”

“Classified,” Rat said haughtily.

“Guys! Someone left us snacks!” Eli called from another room.

Snacks? Awesome and a good excuse. I took a step toward Eli. I didn’t know how much Rat wanted to disclose anyway, but I might as well explain a little. “But I’m not really from around here. Tersatellus in general.” I walked over to Eli but still stayed in sight just in case they started discussing something important.

He held up a basket of vegetables with a grin. “I think I haven’t eaten, like, half of these…”

I smiled back but didn’t take anything just in case I chose one he hadn’t tried. “Craw’s intimidating.”

Eli looked thoughtful. “I can see how you’d feel that way. You haven’t even heard him imitate your voice yet.” That was cool but surprising. “That’s always startling, too. He’s very talented…” He looked up suddenly. “Do you think I’m intimidating at all?”

I shook my head immediately. He was always so kind and considerate. “No. You’re awesome.”

He relaxed. “Alright. Do you need us to do anything about Craw?”

I frowned. “I think Rat has it covered. Would he really back off if I told him I was aromantic and asexual?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure. Notice how he doesn’t try it on me.” Eli messed with the basket wrapping. “I’m…new to a lot of this, but as far as I understand it, well—it’s different from most of the rest of the world, too, but the vast majority of us—Tersatellans—are asexual. Including him, I think. He, uh, just goes in real big for the romance. A lot of cutouts do. Again, though, I’m not exactly an expert or anything.” He was blushing.

I nodded and relaxed. I didn’t need to be intimidated by him. He would back off if I could just find the words to explain myself.

We waited in the commons area of the hotel room, just talking, waiting for Lily and Ivy to arrive. I mostly didn’t talk because I still felt a little intimidated by Craw, but he was a cool guy. I just wasn’t the best at interacting with people.

There was a knock on the door, and Rat jumped up with Craw to open it, and Eli followed a little slower. I just poked my head out of the room to watch. I didn’t want to be too intimidated again like I was with Craw.

Craw opened the door, and two women who looked similar were standing there. One of them had long, dark gray hair and violet eyes, and she was a little taller than the other one. They had said that would be Lily. The other woman had shorter more silver hair, and lavender eyes, and I had an ominous feeling about her. So, this was Ivy.

Both Rat and Lily stiffened and frowned when they saw each other, and I frowned too. Weren’t they supposed to be kind of friends?

“Look what the cat dragged in. What kind of cheap tar here’s polluting our good streets?” Lily said.

Rat snarled back. “If these streets were ever good, your feet’d burn.”

Lily snorted and then laughed, full and happy. Oh. So they were acting. “You just come up with this on the fly, eh?” she whooped and walked inside. “Hope you don’t mind me breaking and entering.” Ivy walked in after Lily and closed the door behind her and just hovered in the doorway. That was a mood.

Lily’s eyes landed on Eli. “And you’re here. That’s fine.” She sounded a little awkward. Eli mumbled something as Lily’s eyes landed on me. She frowned. “Uh…”

I sucked in a breath and shuffled into the hallway, fully into view. I wasn’t going to sound as nervous as I had around Craw. “I’m Kai. And—and I’m not from around here. Rat and Eli picked me up and took me along on their roadtrip.”

“Oh, huh.” She looked a little baffled. “That’s jazz for you, isn’t it? You do any crime or what?”

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “I’m a thief.”

“Oh, good.” Lily sighed. “Well, in case you haven’t heard, I’m Lily, and that’s my sister Ivy.” She gestured behind her where Ivy was still hovering near the door. “We’re mostly into smuggling, but if you need a fence, we can figure things out.”

I nodded as a smile tugged at my lips. Cool. “Thanks. I’ll let you know if I do.”

Lily hopped on the couch and sat with her boots up. She glanced over at Eli, who looked shocked. “You fishes look lost. Dirt gets around out here. First rule: feet stay anonymous.”

I wasn’t really sure what that meant, but I wasn’t going to ask. “She’s got a bunch of knowledge of the area,” Craw said appreciatively and sat down beside her. She made a face at him and snatched her beacon back.

“I hope the second rule’s got to do with food,” Rat said as she took off her boots and socks. I agreed with the food part. I was already hungry even after I ate some snacks.

“You are a vile little snake and I appreciate it,” Lily sneered. Rat made a heart with her hands back. This was an interesting relationship. “So you’ve really just been road tripping, huh? That innocent?”

“I’m a rehabilitated lady,” Rat said sweetly. I snorted.

Lily seemed to have the same opinion of Rat’s statement that I did. “My tail,” she scoffed.

“I think she’s at least committing a little less crime lately,” Eli pointed out. “But that might just be because of me. Or because we have less time.”

“There’s always time for crime,” Rat said. “I’ve just been doing too much partying instead. It’s the new year! Live it up! And I’m seeing as many of you ungrateful jacks as I can.” Lily pretended to be stabbed at that last sentence. “Yeah, yeah. I kind of imagined we’d all go buy a castle with our winnings and live together. I couldn’t believe you all had independent goals and dreams. Like—med school? Did Craw say that right?”

“I never misspeak.” Craw sounded offended.

“Yeah, but you gossip and lie.”

“Got me there, officer.”

“I said that’s what I’d be doing.” Lily paused. “…Did some camping and soul-searching awhile first. Got lost in a weird swamp. Fought off gritty creeps. Real good young adult experience.”

“Oh…good,” Rat said, and then she looked over at Ivy. “Hey, and how’re you, Ivy?”

“Fine.”

“………Well, fabulous.” They fell into an awkward silence, and I didn’t really know what to say to help out.

And after a few uncomfortable minutes, Noct decided to bark and trot in as if she knew how to break the silence. And everything slowed down as Lily pulled out a gun. I instinctively rushed forward and scooped Noct up in my hands before turning around and biting my lip. “Don’t shoot. I made her a few days ago.”

Lily lowered her gun, staring at me with a shocked expression. “That’s a…dog?”

I nodded, and I hunched down as I felt everyone’s eyes on me. Great. “Yeah. I made her from scraps at Steele’s house…”

“Oh? Oh! Are you his, uh, apprentice or something?”

I glanced over at Rat and Eli. Did he even have apprentices? “No? I just met him for a few days when we went to Farsia.”

“She’s just real smart and knows how to make stuff, too. Bit of a tinkerer,” Rat said. Eli smiled and nodded. I just flushed at the praise and sat back down.

Lily scoffed. “Pah, we got enough o’ you ought here. Wicked good on you for stealing from Steele, though. Knock that one down a peg.” She nodded at Rat, and I frowned at both of them. What, did she think I stole from him? That would be scary to actually try. “Decent dog, I’ll admit. On a thieving tour, are you?”

Pause. Rat responded. “No, we’re just kinda sightseeing—”

“Okay, this ducky ain’t much for conversation.” Lily sighed. And I just frowned. Ducky? “I got it. You and Ivy, you two’re gonna get along just fine.” She turned to Rat. “Want some grub?”

“Is that a date?” Rat raised an eyebrow.

Lily shrugged. “Figure you, me and Craw can be fun, hit the streets, knock some dust off some shelves while the shut-ins sit in their corners and entertain themselves.” She smiled a radiant smile, and her voice got all sweet like syrup on top of sugar. “Heaven knows I love nothing more than splitting us up into sides.”

“I’m fun,” Eli protested. “And so is Kai. You’re just confusing her. And she didn’t steal anything from my brother. We just visited. For fun. It was a good time.”

“Oh, for sure. Enough fun to knock the stains off the walls, I bet.” Lily stood up. “Anyone actually interested in gambling or grub? It’s getting dark, and I sleep from 4:00 to noon, no sooner. Who’s in?”

“I’ll check out the scene,” Rat said. She stood up and locked an arm around Lily’s with a dark smile. And Lily’s smile faltered. “And I’ll keep you in check.”

“There’s food here,” Eli said, eying both me and Rat. “I’ll stay with Kai.”

I smiled over at Eli and nodded, resisting the urge to eye Lily’s pockets. She had been rude to Eli, so I was going to be petty. “Sounds fun.”

“It’s a nice hotel—I think you’ll like it here,” Craw said as he joined the others.

“Babysit Ivy for me,” Lily added.

Rat glanced over at Ivy. “Hurt either of them and I eat your mainframe.”

“You are the sweetest monster I have ever met,” Ivy said faintly, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She slid onto the couch Lily left. Eli glared at her.

“If anyone asks, I was here all night,” Rat told Eli, holding up her beacon. “And if you ask, I’ll be back in minutes.” They smiled at each other before she turned to me. “And don’t go hunting without a buddy, sis.”

The aliens. I smirked back at her. I had learned my lesson by now. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

They headed out, and I leaned toward Eli. “Do you know what room Lily and Ivy are staying in?” I had decided against trying to steal directly from Lily’s pockets, so instead I was going to steal something unimportant from her room.

Eli shrugged, and Ivy looked over at us and tilted her head. “You’re going to steal from her, aren’t you?” Crap. She figured me out. After a pause, she pointed. “1017. Five doors to the right. She hides her special bag behind the curtains in the washroom.”

I grinned over at her and gave her a thumbs up before I ran out of the room while Eli stared after me with a bewildered expression. Lily had insulted both Eli and me. I wasn’t about to let that happen without payback.

I put on gloves (since I didn’t know if Lily somehow had fingerprint identification abilities) before I picked the lock to 1017, and I slipped in and found the bag right where Ivy said it would be. I shuffled through various wristwatches (she sure had a lot) and picked out a nice digital one that I could work on so that it would say a dumb message.

I put everything back where it was and slipped out of the room and back to ours. I ran back into the commons area and sat backwards in a chair as I started tinkering. Ivy was staring off into the distance while her eyes glowed, and Eli was playing fetch with Noct, using a paperclip as a stick.

I looked over at him, frowning. “I’m sorry that you stayed behind because of me.”

He looked up at me. “Oh. That’s alright.” He smiled. “It’s something I chose to do, so that makes it good, right?” He grimaced. “Well, that was vague. Sorry—I don’t always have the best words for things…”

I shrugged, thinking back on meeting Craw and Lily. “Me neither. But thanks for playing with Noct. I know she appreciates it.”

He smiled, and I looked back down at the wristwatch as I got into the wiring. I was getting close to changing the message that would show up when she turned it on. I had decided to make an inside joke. It would say “Alien malware detected”.

When Eli didn’t say anything, I looked back up, and the smile was still frozen on his face, but it wasn’t reaching his eyes. I frowned. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Nononono,” he said quickly, blinking and raking a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. You’re fine.” He gestured at Noct. “It’s just…interesting…to…think about…Never mind.”

“Great. You’ve got him questioning him humanity,” Ivy sighed. I frowned deeper. Crap. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad.

“I am not. I’m just…waxing philosophical. Which is a perfectly fine and normal thing to do.”

Ivy shot him a doubtful look as her eyes stopped glowing. “You’ve got enough liquid lightning in your body to power this skyscraper for days. Nothing you do is normal.” She shrugged as his fists clenched, and I tensed. She seemed to say things that made the others unhappy so casually. “But yes, that’s still fine. It’s the perfectly normal people you have to be suspicious of, anyway.”

I decided to ignore her comment, since it had upset Eli. I set down the wristwatch and clasped my hands so that I wouldn’t fiddle with them as I turned completely toward him. “I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t program these emotions. She developed them all on her own.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re welcome.” He paused and nodded to himself. “I’m not entirely sure what opinion to attach to that fact, but I think it’s a good one. And I’m really impressed.” He smiled. “Just don’t tell my brother. Or my sister-in-law.” His smile fell. “Or Vastate. I wonder if you’ll meet him.”

“Why does it seem like Rat has free tickets to visit that freak show any time she wants?” Ivy frowned.

“Rat’s sneaky enough that it’s like she has free tickets to visit anywhere whenever she wants,” Eli said loudly.

“Are you burying something, punk?”

“It’s Eli. And are you digging for something?”

She stared blankly at him for a little bit before standing up. “That was me tactfully electing not to make a very cruel joke. I’ve spent the last of my social energy. Rat’s teaching you how to win conversations. I’m really impressed.” She glanced at me, and I frowned back. She seemed a little unnerving. “Nice meeting you.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips before she walked off back to her own room.”

Eli watched her go then turned to me. “That went well, I think.”

I shrugged. “I guess. I’m…not sure about her.”

“That’s an appropriate judgment.”

We were mostly quiet the rest of the night as I finished up the wristwatch and waited for Rat to come back. She came back still full of energy and loud, and she told us about her time with a grin on her lips. But then she crashed quickly, and Eli and I went to our separate rooms, with Eli bringing Rat along to his room.

I fell asleep almost instantly, and of course, I had to have another dream.

“My dear, come with me.” Tila smiled and gestured for me to follow her, and of course I had to. I just followed at a distance so I wouldn’t have to feel the emotion dampening.

She led me to one of the rooms where they held their tests on us, and I froze. He was there. I couldn’t recall his name still, but that didn’t stop the rush of emotion. He was crumpled on the ground, bleeding from multiple cuts from their knives. There were already bruises forming on his face too.

I ran up to him, tears streaking down my cheeks. I was supposed to protect everyone. But I couldn’t. And the aliens knew it and loved it.

I looked him up and down when I reached him and searched his pockets for bandages I could use to wrap his wounds. I had to stop the blood flow. As I found them, Tila walked up behind me, but not close enough to affect my emotions.

“My dear, you should know by now that you are alone. They can’t save you, and you can’t save them. All that will happen is that they will get hurt because of you. You aren’t able to protect them. You are alone. Embrace it.”

I sucked in a breath and clenched my fists. “You don’t know anything! I won’t listen to you. They’re the closest I have to family.”

“They aren’t your family, and they never will be. They’re happy you’re taking all of the punishment for them. They might pretend that they feel bad, but they’re relieved they don’t have to get hurt. They aren’t appreciative. They’d rather you be hurt.”

The tears fell faster, and I probably tied one of his bandages too tight. “You’re—you’re wrong…”

“You’re alone, Kaira. And you always will be. We’re the only ones who will stay. The others would leave you in a heartbeat.”

A sob escaped my lips. I didn’t know what to believe. They would all be hurt because of me. It would be better if they left me and I was alone. I turned away from him, but he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.

“Kai. We’re here for you. Don’t believe her.” He smiled weakly up at me, but Tila stomped up, close enough to affect my emotions. I sighed, and the tears stopped falling, but there was still a dull ache.

“Shut up,” she snarled and kicked him in the ribs. I flinched as he cried out in pain. “You’ve gotten too used to my powers anyway. You should be punished.” Her knife flashed, but I instinctively moved between him and her, and she caught me in the arm. I screamed, and she laughed.

I snapped awake, sitting up immediately as I tried to slow my breathing. Tears streaked down my cheeks, and my pillow was soaked from them. Alone. I had always been alone, at least from what I could remember. If these dreams were real, I had friends in the past. But I had left them, forgotten them. They probably hated me now. I was alone…

I shot up and opened the door of my room. I didn’t want to bother Rat and Eli, but I needed to see them. The thoughts and fragmented memories were weighing down on me too much.

I probably should have knocked on the door just in case they wanted some privacy, but I didn’t. I just slipped in. I didn’t want to wake them, just in case.

They were already awake though, and they both looked up when I slipped in. I sucked in a breath and clasped my hands. “Is it okay if I stay with you for a while?”

Rat nodded, her eyebrows raised, and Eli spoke quickly. “Yeah—please.”

I hated intruding, but… I slinked over to the bed and perched on the edge near them, but not too close. I kept trying to keep my breathing sounding normal, but it was still too heavy. I didn’t want to worry them. “Just a bad dream. I didn’t want to be alone…” I mumbled. Eli nodded, and Rat looked between us like she wanted to say something. I frowned. “I hope I’m not intruding on anything. Why were you two up?”

“Can’t sleep,” Eli whispered. Oh. Eli also needed someone right now.

“I’m still buzzing from my spin on town,” Rat said.

Eli hugged his knees tighter against his chest. “You don’t have to lie for me.” He fell quiet, and Rat put a hand on his arm. His hand trailed along his elbow, where I could barely see, through the machinery, a dark red glow through his skin. Also what looked like a scar. “Did we tell you why I’m…like this?” he murmured.

I frowned. Something about being dead? “I think so, if you don’t want to talk about it.” I didn’t want to talk about my dream yet, so I understood.

He nodded. “When I was…asleep…” His voice caught on the word. “It was dark. It was so dark all the time, and I couldn’t—I had to stay hidden. And it’s been months. But every time I try to sleep—every time I can’t see light—it feels like going back. To not breathing. It’s been months, but I still…” He looked around the darkened corners of the room, and he shivered and buried his face in his hands. Rat put an arm around his shoulders. “I understand the bad dreams. I understand not being alone.”

“And you’re not,” Rat said quietly.

My heart ached, and I moved over to the other side of Eli and half hugged him tentatively just in case he didn’t want to be hugged. “We’re family.” He gingerly returned the hug but didn’t say anything. Hopefully, that helped. I bit my lip. I didn’t want to make it about myself, but if he was willing to share, I should share too. “I’ve been having dreams about my past, most likely. And it seems that the aliens pursuing me have always been trying to convince me that I’m alone. And they were pretty successful in this last dream.” I flinched at the memory and hugged Eli tighter. They were wrong. I had a family, even on a different world.

“Since we’re right here, I’m guessing it’s the kind of alone that’s got nothing to do with who’s physically around but—the kind of alone in here?” Rat put a hand over her heart. “Feels like you can’t really be safe with anyone, can’t know them, can’t get known? Too dangerous, too risky, too hard and futile because there’s always something that’ll come between you? And it’s like…glass walls. Between you and the rest of the world, and you can watch and people can never really know or be there. That kind of alone?”

I nodded. “They said that anyone close to me would get hurt because of me.”

“That’s the worst.” Rat sounded genuinely sad. “I’m sorry, Kai.” She reached across Eli, her hand outstretched toward me.

I took her hand and closed my eyes. I actually felt safe. “Thank you for not leaving me alone.”

We just sat in silence like that for a while, and I leaned against Eli. I fell asleep next to them.

#writeblr #A New Dawn

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