#Paulie and Neal Hausman

[peach-coke]

Yesterday I watched some totally random horror movie called "Under The Bed", that my prime told me I'd probably like. Fair enough, it's horror, and there's brothers in it - That tracks.

But then it started. And it's just... Okay, so there's cool-guy big brother Neal, with his tousled blonde hair and his half-denim, half-leather jacket who got send away to avoid prison, ‘cause he set their house on fire, right? So he's coming back from his "exile", running right into a welcome-back party that his dad (who he has a strained relationship with...) and his new step-mom throw for him. Because, you know. Their actual mom died in the before mentioned house fire. Uh-Huh.

He then ditches the party (and the girl he "came back to" apparently) to run around the house, frantically searching for his brown-haired baby-brother Paul (which he alone calls Paulie. Unless he’s angry at him, then it becomes a very stern “Paul!”. Because of course.) screaming his name like a maniac for... Reasons? How would I know? Neal just needs to find him asap??

And when he does, they hug it out for a minute or two. Very important stuff? I get it, you're close. Thanks for taking like... Ten minutes of screen time to establish that. It’s only the first. Of many, many, many hugs to come.

They then BOTH ditch the party to hang around in a diner. And we have wonderful dialog like: "I really missed this." - "What did you miss more, the diner or me?" Yes. Normal brother things - Like come on LOOK AT THEM y'all are doing this to me on purpose at this point?

But then. THEN. Neal just whips out a fucking leather-bound diary with monster-scribbles in it and at this point I'm fucking certain that I'm just tripping on my pneumonia meds.

But IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE?!? Sammy Paulie has weird premonition-like nightmares that come with an extra cool hell-filter

While Dean Neal is just out there being very normal, scribbling pictures of the two of them in his diary while his baby-brother is at school without him

Thorough the movie both of them just keep constantly reminding us about the fact that they're brothers (by saying it like, 20 times as if we could've missed it) and would never hurt each other and do everything for each other. They share beds and we get the actual Baby-camera-pan I’m just- while their dad is just out there like????? Y'all are weirdos maybe stop sleeping together (because this movie is actually about a monster under their bed and not them being weirdos lmao)...

...until Paulie gets hurt by the monster and John Dad forcefully separates them because he assumes it’s Neal’s fault. Obviously they can’t have that and sneak out and break locks to hug it out. I mean, they’ve been separated by a door for like, maybe half an hour in realtime. Can’t have that.

Dad is really not amused to find them like this. Again.

AND THEN THEY GEAR UP TO HUNT THE MONSTER UNDER THEIR BED (where Neal shows little Paulie how to properly hold a gun a screwdriver just because... hands??) 'cause what if they end up getting permanently separated because of it?! THE HORROR.

In the end Neal is absolutely ready to sacrifice himself to get his brother back from the nightmare-realm where they do some reunion-forehead-touching, Dad dies on his first hunt in the final confrontation and they beat the monster by throwing their mothers ashes at it (which was totally Paulies idea because you know - He‘s the smart one)...

TLDR this is not just a random Horror Movie, it's a canon divergent Winchester/Teenchesters Fanfic unfurling right in front of my salad and I AM OBSESSED and I need someone to watch this movie to confirm that I am, in fact, not losing my entire mind.