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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

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Phantoms and Mirages Commentary, Part 2

(Part 1 here)

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 11

Simon hadn’t expected the phrase ‘how you say’ to be uttered by a foreigner outside of fiction, but there it was.

HAHAHAAA. Now that’s what I call good foreshadowing! I also found this sentence rather interesting the first time around because I was, in fact, reading a work of fiction. But also, I thought to myself “hmm… you know, sometimes stereotypes/clichés can be echoed in reality.” I found it quite interesting that the text chose to comment on the choice of words like this (obviously not knowing the truth of Domestique’s grasp of English), and it managed to make me go “well I suppose it could happen?” And just kind of, accept it as an occurrence that really could happen in real life, albeit not often, and certainly not as often as fiction likes to suggest.

It was like a sentence that contained a lampshade hanging, a touch of self-awareness in that this is a fictional story, and something that encouraged me to think how it would be for me to hear a non-native English speaker say this IRL all in one. If I did hear a foreigner say “how you say” (assuming that their English was extremely basic to the extent that they’d struggle to really say anything), I really would not give it too much thought, after all. I’m pretty sure I have heard “how to say” used before IRL in the same manner.

The text saying “it’s weird to hear this said outside of fiction” is a double-edged sword going, “…and this is another fictional instance to add to the list, reiterating this fact” but also “in the context of the writing and the universe, I encourage you to think that this is a “real” instance within the story”.

And then the lampshade hanging actually becomes foreshadowing in retrospect, and ACTUALLY reiterates the idea that it’s a stereotypical type of foreigner-talk not really seen in real life – a go-to for someone faking a lack of English. So much invoked and going on here just in this really brief sentence/moment…

This story, with its later reveal, goes, “actually, we’re not going to have a foreigner talk in an extremely stereotyped way, EVEN if this fact is drawn attention to!”

He remembered the imposter questioning him about his sexuality. At first, he had insisted that it didn’t matter- that it could be whatever the imposter wanted it to be, because he hadn’t ever acted on it.

Man, back when I made this post, I was not even up to this part yet! I didn’t realise the text itself would bring it up so directly. Of course, you have Blackquill earlier going “if Bobby is gay, the phantom must have also known that Bobby is gay”, but I didn’t realise at that time it had actually been a direct question type deal as my post had joked. (Because, for example, if Bobby was open about being gay it could have been overheard mentioned in conversation by the phantom, or if Bobby had previous relationships that the phantom knew about, things like that, since I didn’t have the Full Picture earlier on in the story and for all I knew at that time, Bobby had been openly gay.) So, this small moment actually makes my joke post totally redundant from the “the phantom has to ask Bobby his sexual preferences” angle. XD. But, in fact, this is actually a recurring theme that happened to me as I read these fics. As the series went onwards, I found more and more that it didn’t matter how I joked, the jokes were being rendered totally redundant by the actual source material. I couldn’t believe it – it was amazing and I loved it. I tried to JOKE but the jokes were becoming REAL and often intertwoven with the very core of the fic’s narrative. At a certain point, I just gave up and stopped joking, because I realised it seemed there was essentially nothing I could say or do that the series wasn’t prepared to take up with absolute seriousness and execute, often in a brilliant manner (or include as a joke of its own). I realised that I kinda just had to “shut up and keep reading”, as it were. You were always two steps ahead.

Even if you go back to the very first chapter, which for the most part is very gloomy and depressing, but you still have the phantom interrogating Bobby as to whether he’s “a cat or a dog person”. This exact hypothetical occurrence has been subject to joke posts. Naturally, because it’s such a minor and inconsequential detail, and it’s a lighthearted topic. Now, I know, that the phantom would still very much (feel the) need to know the answer to those sorts of things anyway. You would think they would rely on observation, eavesdropping, approaching Bobby through a different persona to get the answers, etc, and yes, in your fic he does in fact do all of those things in addition to interrogation and questioning. I didn’t find him throwing out the question to Bobby at the start of the fic particularly realistic, but then again, there’s likely hundreds of small inconsequential details he found out through alternative methods, and these were just leftover questions that he still wanted answers to. At the time I started the fic, I just accepted it despite my scepticism because of willing suspension of disbelief and the fact that it’s kinda funny(?). Like, you have this super serious scene detailing a truly awful situation that Bobby is in, but the phantom being like “are you a cat or a dog person???” has an inherent ability to invoke some kind of amusement. (Although mind you, I was too busy focusing on Bobby’s REALLY sucky situation to be truly amused at the time). Back then, I chose to overlook the “realism” aspect, not least because I liked the idea of him asking Bobby this, but now, I can fully accept it because your writing is just that good; meaning I know you’ve thought through things like that quite thoroughly already, and like I said, these were probably just leftover questions he hadn’t had time to use alternative means to get the answers to at that point, anyway.

Still, the new Fulbright had claimed that it ‘didn’t work that way’ and that he needed to know the details for certain.

Phantom: please I’m begging you don’t force me to make any decision on your behalf. I hate doing that, or at least I would if I could really feel hate. I have no real personality and therefore no real basis to pick and choose. I need a framework to work with here, dammit!

You know! In spite of my initial reactions to changed!Bobby, it’s really interesting and kind of thrilling to see him be ‘cruder’ and more open. I quite liked it. It pops up a few times and it’s always fun! Unlike my reactions to things like his smoking (which, of course, he later gives up), by the time I’ve settled down to the idea of a changed Bobby, seeing him say some things that original!Bobby would never say don’t give me any real discomfort that makes me yell “YOU’RE NOT BOBBY!”. Rather, having already eased somewhat into a changed Bobby, I can accept it and in fact believe it as a solid part of his new character. Not only that, but I like the new character that has emerged after having been Randy Liberate. Bobby Fulbright reasserting himself, but it’s unrealistic that he’d be exactly the same as he was before. The smoking or complete abandonment of ideals of justice are what I balk at because it’s not really the core of who Bobby is, and that’s why these things are ultimately done away with as Bobby leaves Randy Liberate behind. But a newly acquired openness, crudeness and wariness/cynicism of justice remain, and I don’t balk at those – I accept them as part of who the new Bobby is. I love the original Bobby to bits, but I also like what the new Bobby brings too.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 12

However, the notion remained that if indeed there was a second accomplice, that person was still out there. Perhaps aiding the Phantom even now.

Perhaps… 🤔 I wonder, where on earth could they be? 😉 “PERHAPS aiding the Phantom even NOW”, oh you must have enjoyed writing that line.

The Phantom’s second accomplice was Domestique LaSoote. The man who’d aided in the Phantom’s release was sitting right there in his living room.

THE MOMENT this is brought to light, I was immediately like “OH. Yeah, so that means that’s not Bobby – it’s the phantom. No question. Game over. Get out Blackquill, now, for your own sake, please, but in an unsuspicious way.” Or, at the very least, you literally can’t verify for sure and you should always veer on the side of caution with these things. ALWAYS assume the worst. Or, a game of trying to discreetly determine if it’s the real Bobby without tipping the phantom off if its not Bobby. Aaaaaaah.

“Fulbright, I need to speak with you for a moment. In private, if you will.”

SIMON WATCH OUT, THAT’S NOT BOBBY FULBRIGHT IT’S THE PHANTOM. OH MY GOD HE HAS AIRPODS IN HE CAN’T HEAR ME. OH MY G

SIMON WHY-

All I know is that if it was me, my immediate thought would be “if he’s the phantom’s accomplice, that would leave the phantom easily able to come in and take Bobby’s place – therefore I can’t know if that’s the real Bobby or the phantom.” But Simon acted fast and had a lot on his mind and to take in. I’m sure if he had just a little bit more time to process what he realised, he would have clued on quickly too.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 13

Okay, I actually did get very afraid that Taka was really dead. Would have been unbelievably awful. ;-;

Man the phantom was/is SO dislikable to me this chapter, or at least, for all of the most of it. Like, go to hell, phanty. XD

Me: you might be my favourite character but right now you’re being REALLY annoying, not even in any kind of funny/”redeeming” way just a plain aggravating way, and you need to go away

It comes back to what I said in the previous post about me mistakenly thinking “the author” didn’t care much for the phantom, and kinda wanted us to dislike him for the major jerk he is. Plus his seemingly “out of character” behaviour kinda rubbed me the wrong way, until it’s actually addressed towards the end of the chapter.

Which, in itself, harkens back to that fic I mentioned from somewhere on the PWKM in my previous commentary post. But this time around, although I was not fond of the phantom currently presenting himself in this fic, I was still determined to read it, because the fic itself was still super, super good.

“An experiment, really. I’m quite excited to see the outcome.”

“No, you aren’t.” “Hah, well, I’m interested in the results regardless.”

I LOVED THIS EXCHANGE SO MUCH THOUGH. A+ DIALOGUE RIGHT HERE

“I suppose that’s as close to a compliment as I’ll ever get.” The Phantom took a flourishing bow, gun still pointed directly at Athena as he did so.

OH MY GOD I THINK I KINDA MISSED THIS LINE THE FIRST TIME AROUND. HE ACTUALLY TAKES A BOW. I’m imagining it done Edgeworth-style… WE STAN A SARCASTIC, SMARMY LITTLE EMOTIONLESS JERK. Me: ok, ok phantom. I love you this chapter a LITTLE for this, at least. Or a lot. Heh. But your little ultimatum towards Blackquill is still sickening to the core!

The phantom’s little breakdown, the crying… none of this I fully appreciated the first time around. Past me was something else…

Now this scene with Simon exposing the fact that the phantom wanted his attention is interesting in that, reading it again, I was actually quite surprised to find that Blackquill indeed never outright states that it has anything at all to do with romantic attraction or whatever. But as far as their discussion just before the phantom gets that brain surgery states, it’s exactly what he’s thinking, and exactly what I assumed too… He just never says it out loud, in those exact words.

I’d assumed so strongly that it must have been directly stated here somewhere by Blackquill. And when that scene before the surgery pans out between them, I then figured: “huh, so the phantom must indeed have been confronted with that accusation but come to realise that the need for attention was deeper than that.” I figured that huh, he considered it seriously but came to the conclusion it was untrue. Except. Now that I know it was never specifically stated, that interpretation mightn’t have occurred to him. He maybe went straight to realising he had some very deep issues goin’ on unrelated to romantic inclinations or whatever.

Blackquill goes on to spend the next few months straight-up assuming that the phantom has/had the hots for him……… Only to have that notion shot down by the phantom himself.

The fact that he doesn’t say it outright, but is still thinking it though, is like….

Blackquill, in vague and indirect terms, from his perspective: I’ve got it. The reason you’re acting so strangely. You’re gay for me!

The phantom: [suffers breakdown]

His guesswork had paid off, though part of him was beginning to think this secret had been better left uncovered.

Blackquill: wait WHAT. are you for real right now. I was literally just pulling stuff out of thin air here. You’re actually attracted to me?! (Now there’s a scary and creepy thought…)

Blackquill, under the misconception that the phantom felt a really messed-up and twisted romantic interest & attraction to him: [shudders] TMI… SOME THINGS ARE DEFINITELY BETTER LEFT UNCOVERED

And………… This scene with the phantom being kinda shattered and breaking down…… does resonate more with me, with the knowledge that the motivation and need for attention and acknowledgement was not motivated on the romantic scale, but rather went deeper than that, as you say. Although, it is hard to say, since I hadn’t appreciated it nearly enough on the first readthrough. That is ALL I shall say for now on the matter. All in due time… :P

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 14

Breaking these flimsy binds was just like pulling off a band-aid. One had to be quick and decisive. He pulled them apart in one fluid motion and the chain, unable to bear with such sudden force, broke into several pathetic fragments. Athena flinched in shock, then went straight on to looking exasperated. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re one of the most terrifying people I’ve ever met.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sdkjsdjnsdln ok Simon that was awesome. “just like pulling off a band-aid” I’M YELLING...

A good five more minutes passed in which everyone worked frantically with their shovels. Their shoes and pants became stained with mud, but no one complained. Not even Edgeworth, whose outfit was likely the most expensive.

The image of a mud-stained Edgeworth though… omg.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 15

Okay, I am so curious regarding the intricacies of what the dynamic between Domestique and the phantom was like. I’ll bring this up again from different angles in a later chapter commentary(s) but. Yeah!

“I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t be out carrying an unconscious body by yourself, Boss. It’s gonna look mighty suspicious.”

Like first off, he calls him “Boss” here, when it’s later established there’s not supposed to be any real hierarchy – rather, they’re supposed to be accomplices (?). Then again, the title might be being used sarcastically or insincerely here. Although, Domestique does actually take orders from the phantom… That is consistently shown to have been the status quo as well. Hmm.

And even if they’re “supposed” to be on equal footing, the phantom is in a position of power over Domestique because there’s so many things the phantom can leverage in order to force him to do what he wants. So there’s that too.

I also took this statement sincerely the first time around reading it back when I didn’t know Domestique very well – I thought it almost sounded like he was showing concern. But now I see it as much more flippantly spoken. It’s not the phantom he’s worried about, really. The fact is, Domestique has been unwillingly caught up in all this and he doesn’t want it all to blow up in their faces, cause he’ll have to deal with the fallout too when/if that happens. I guess that’s the main takeaway here.

“What part of sit down and behave is so hard for you to grasp? That ‘stupid bird’ is more obedient than you are.”

LOL PHANTOM WEREN’T YOU ONLY JUST SAYING THAT DOMESTIQUE “DOES AS HE’S TOLD” IN AN EARLIER CHAPTER. Amazing.

Oh, also, when we initially learned about the “Bobby has been buried” thing I got extremely worried because I figured it would be another huge thing to add to Bobby’s trauma, as my initial horrified thought was of him being buried in the ground, conscious, with nothing to do but to wait. And wait. Thinking he was going to just run out of oxygen and die. That was such an unbearable thought. I’m so glad he at least actually “slept” through most of the ordeal. Now the phantom did initially say “motionless” when the worst is assumed, but does not add this specification when the reality is unveiled to Blackquill, so hah, yeah, at least in that sense I’d thought things were worse than they actually were. Relieved my thoughts weren’t the case…

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 16

…Wait. Wait. There are TWO ways to read one of the phantom’s parting sentences:

“Death is the only option I have left. Are you the one attempting to save me from a sentence that is justified now?”

I’d always read it the second way though.

“I would do so if there were any alternatives. There’s a lot of strings we’d have to pull on both Interpol’s end and the local police department’s end, but I see no other options. The only person qualified to impersonate the Phantom, ironically, is Bobby Fulbright.”

Reading this honestly blew my damn mind, I. Right now, I’m not even able to put into words how great and brilliant I found this upon reading it for the first time, to be honest. :D

#renegadewangs #phantoms and mirages #phantoms and mirages commentary #@ my followers please read this fic series #it's SO good #Bobby Fulbright #Simon Blackquill #the phantom

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hearthflown · 4 years

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Tag dump

Caster Gilgamesh; the wise sage king

Archer Gilgamesh; the adjudicator of men

KoGil; the fair young king

Ritsuka Fujimaru; the hearthearted wanderer

Yan Qing; the regretful phantom

707; the mystic wizard

Sakata Kintoki; the golden brave

Belial; the primarch of cunning

Santa Alter; the icy mirage

Lancer Alter; the howling storm

Cu Alter; the beast who fights as an asura

Emiya Alter; the rusted blade

musings; the dreams of the stars

ooc; the stars fall down

ask; the radiance of the stars

submission; the gifts of the stars

headcanon; the thoughts of the star

crack; the young stars

nsfw; the stars withdraw

promo; the stars shine brightly

self promo; the star glimmers

saved; the star shines in the dark

dash commentary; the cluster of stars

meme; the stargivers

tagged; the nebula of stars

tag dump; the record of a star

#Caster Gilgamesh; the wise sage king #Archer Gilgamesh; the adjudicator of men #KoGil; the fair young king #Ritsuka Fujimaru; the hearthearted wanderer #Yan Qing; the regretful phantom #707; the mystic wizard #Sakata Kintoki; the golden brave #Belial; the primarch of cunning #Santa Alter; the icy mirage #Lancer Alter; the howling storm #Cu Alter; the beast who fights as an asura #Emiya Alter; the rusted blade #musings; the dreams of the stars #ooc; the stars fall down #ask; the radiance of the stars #submission; the gifts of the stars #headcanon; the thoughts of the star #crack; the young stars #nsfw; the stars withdraw #promo; the stars shine brightly #self promo; the star glimmers #saved; the star shines in the dark #dash commentary; the cluster of stars #meme; the stargivers #tagged; the nebula of stars #tag dump; the record of a star

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brokehorrorfan · 6 years

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Event Report: NorthEast Comic Con (Winter 2018)

NorthEast Comic Con & Collectibles Extravaganza’s Winter 2018 edition took place this past weekend, November 23-25, at the Regency Hotel in Boxboro, MA. While much of the world was sleeping off a Thanksgiving-fueled food hangover or scouring for Black Friday deals, the convention served as a great way to get a jump-start on geeky holiday shopping with dozens of vendors, plus celebrities, comedians, bands, and more. I attended on Saturday, which was a blast.

NorthEast Comic Con marked original Godzilla star Akira Takarada's only US appearance of 2018. He even brought over some Gojira collectibles from Japan (including a Godzilla humidifier!) that fans could purchase. The 84-year-old actor came off as sweet, funny, and genuine during his panel early Saturday afternoon, which ran over its hour-long slot as he wanted to continue answering audience questions. He spoke in English for his introduction - during which he congratulated us on the Red Sox winning the World Series - and then used an interpreter to answer questions.

Takarada shared a humorous anecdote about how a security guard and a cheap pair of swim trunks led to his job at Toho and, ultimately, his role in Godzilla. A memorable moment came when he explained that he called Invasion of Astro-Monster star Nick Adams "Mr. Horny," because the American actor was always asking him to introduce him to Japanese women. He later remarked that Cesar Romero (with whom he worked on Latitude Zero) was even more horny than Adams. He discussed shooting a cameo as an immigration officer for Godzilla (2014) in secrecy, only to have it cut from the final film. He understood the situation and hopes to appear in future Godzilla movies.

While it was largely lighthearted, the conversation became heavy when Takarada spoke about the impact that the atomic bomb had on Japan and how it birthed Godzilla. He compared the film’s American re-edit, Godzilla, King of the Monsters, to a "badly made quilt," as it cuts the social commentary. He also shared a harrowing story of being shot as a civilian by a Soviet soldier during World War II, which required a local doctor to remove the bullet with a pair of household scissors and no medication or stitches. Finally, when asked what Godzilla means to him, Takarada responded, "He's my classmate," before expressing his gratitude to the fans as the original film approaches its 65th anniversary next year.

Having met Kevin Eastman at Rhode Island Comic Con just a few weeks prior, I was excited to see the other creator of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Peter Laird, as a late addition to the NorthEast ComicCon guest list. He graciously signed up to three items for free; like Eastman, each autograph is accompanied by a quick Ninja Turtle sketch. Laird was joined by fellow Mirage Studios alumnus and longtime TMNT artist Steve Lavigne, who was equally pleasant.

Other guests included decorated voice actor Billy West (Futurama, Doug, The Ren & Stimpy Show), author and Squirrel Girl co-creator Will Murray, actor Jerome St. John Blake (Star Wars: The Phantom Menace), actor/comedian Frank Santorelli (The Sopranos), actor/comedian Jimmy Dunn (The McCarthys), Emmy Award-winning puppeteer Bill Diamond (Little Shop of Horrors), Disney animator Philo Barnhart (The Little Mermaid, The Smurfs), and "Queen of the Paranormal" Kadrolsha Ona Carole, among others.

An unexpected highlight of the event was a performance by Gwell-o, a Gwar-inspired band featuring members of the comedy rock act Green Jelly. Like Gwar, the musicians dress as intergalactic monsters with painted-on abs and battle other creatures during the show, but Gwell-o's homemade suits are built out of cardboard and duct tape. The lineup includes performers that do not play instruments but rather keep busy singing backups, dancing, fighting, and engaging in dart gun wars with the audience.

A fun mix of heavy metal, monster movies, and pro wrestling, Gwell-o offers the melee of Gwar without the blood and bodily fluids, thereby making it more accessible to a convention audience. In addition to original songs and their renditions of Gwar and Green Jelly favorites, Gwell-o covered Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" (dedicated to Takarada, who watched on with a smile plastered across his face), "I Need Mo' Allowance" from the cartoon Doug (in tribute to Billy West, who was in the audience), and Judas Priest's "Night Crawler." While some audience members may have approached the performance with curious confusion, everyone left the hour-long set entertained.

Saturday evening concluded with a live recording of The McCue Report podcast in which host Jim McCue interviewed several cast and crew members from Sweeney Killing Sweeney, including actors/comedians Frank Santorelli (The Sopranos) and Tony V. (Seinfeld). Director Lisa Aimola detailed their attempts to make the comedy film for nine years before deciding to do it independently, shooting it in two and a half weeks with a local cast and crew on a $100,000 budget. The half-hour chat made me eager to see the film, in which comedian Steve Sweeney's standup characters come to life. Limited edition DVDs were available exclusively at the event; otherwise the film is expected to be released digitally in 2019.

NorthEast Comic Con also included more panels, live concerts, standup comedy, podcasts recordings, cosplay activities and contest, a room full of exhibitors, a gaming area, kids crafts and activities, and more. With Rhode Island Comic Con fresh in my mind (and Rock and Shock not too long before that), NorthEast Comic Con served as a strong reminder of how fun a more intimate convention can be. The atmosphere is inviting, and the smaller setting allows for a more creative and unique environment than the huge pop-culture shows. With weekend passes running a mere $20, NorthEast Comic Con is as affordable as it is enjoyable.

Click here to see all of my NorthEast Comic Con Winter 2018 photos.

#northeast comic con #teenage mutant ninja turtles #akira takarada #godzilla #gojira #peter laird #tmnt #frank santorelli #the sopranos #gwello #gwar #green jelly #comic con #event report #article

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spamzineglasgow · 6 years

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SPAM Digest #1 (Sept 2018)

A quick list of the editors’ current favourite critical essays, post-internet think pieces, and literature reviews that have influenced the way we think about contemporary poetics, technology and storytelling.

‘Human Sacrifice’, by Alexandra Molotkow, Real Life Mag

A brief moral genealogy of reality TV spectatorship sketched through the short life of The Anna Nicole Show (2002-2004); Moloktow reflects on the hatred of the talentless and contempt for the desperate as a ultimate re-inscription of class dynamics; on the erotic appeal of the fallen beauty; on how the lines between compassion and cruelty come blurred, when those between life and entertainment seem to be disappearing.

‘Reality television remade spectatorship in the likeness of a relationship: You loved your favorite contestants like friends and hated your least favorite like enemies — the thrill of a reality villain was the permission to hate a “real” person and not just a character in fiction.’

‘What many of us are looking for, at least sometimes, is a quick hit of relatability, the ambient sense that other people exist. This isn’t necessarily bad. It cuts to the chase of what we so often ask of art, and people are just as interesting as anything they might produce — a personality itself can be read as a work of art, producing the same range of joys and intriguing discomforts. But real and imagined people demand different moral configurations, and observing a life as theater can create a narrative riptide on reality.’

D.B

‘Andrew Pekler charts imagined sounds on interactive atlas, Phantom Islands’, by Scott Wilson, Fact Mag

It was actually an ex-navy friend who recommended this article to me, and the nautical vibes seemed appropriate, given our current SPAM theme is CRUISE LINER. Wilson’s article glosses a recent project by Berlin-based sound artist Andrew Pekler: an ‘interactive online map called Phantom Islands, which combines the histories of islands that were once found on nautical maps with speculative sounds from each of the 27 locations’. These ‘Phantom Islands’, as Pekler puts it, were charted through history by ocean explorers, but their actual existence ‘has never been ultimately verified’.

For anyone intrigued by ethnomusicology (soundscapes are here selected with an ethnographer’s ear and knowledge of island history), object-oriented ‘art’ (one could argue Pekler’s project enacts a form of tuning to nonhuman scales, scapes and ontologies) or simply wanting to play around with a synesthetically satisfying map, Phantom Islands is definitely worth your time.

There’s something seductive and ultimately metamodern about this project: its oscillation between fact and fiction; a New Aesthetic, intermedial playfulness and sincere commitment to probing the strange aporia of these places. A sort of sonic psychocartography, combining the analogue ‘hardware’ of the map with the interactive, ‘soft’ subtleties of scroll, click, veer and zoom. It recalls childhood afternoons consumed by the thalassic, open-world vistas of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (2002), where every cel-shaded island was mapped out on a gridded ‘Great Sea’, sparkling with unique music, sidequests, enemies and secret items. Browsing The Wind Waker’s world, or (in Cruise Mode), the clean white grids of Pekler’s map, you find yourself phasing in and out of the mirage-like isles of geologic and mythical history. I’m made nostalgic for the days when the internet was envisioned as a sort of frontier, this sprawling terrain to be ‘surfed’.

As well as pleasure, there’s a profound melancholy to the project: it doesn’t steer us towards the dramatic sublime but rather encourages an introspective, ‘slow’ experience of personal discovery, a glide over several haecceities. Maybe it’s because, as Malachy Tallack puts it in his 2016 book The Undiscovered Islands, ‘Islands [...] are perfect metaphors for other worlds and afterlives. They are separate and yet connected; they are distant and yet tangible. The sea of death is cluttered with imaginary islands’. I’ve never thought of webpages or online archives as islands until now, but something about that sense of myth or fiction pervading the ‘real’ of the present is oddly comforting. The narrative vignettes and sound clips which accompany the islands of Pekler’s map give the reassurance of presence, even in the space of speculation, in the lack of evidential presence. If, as Tallack puts it, ‘invention’ arises from our desire to fill a ‘terrifying’ absence, then ‘sometimes that desire gives us back the absences we sought to fill’. It seems to me he could be describing a phenomenology of the open internet, the para-reality of endless text and images still sloshing and jostling against the smooth interface of Web 2.0. The haunted archives of yesteryear, preserved on some ad-riddled, lost domain. The splintered archipelagos of our virtual identities, the desiring production of feedback loops.

As a form of ‘interactive’ geography, Phantom Islands reminds us that our conceptions of ‘world’, Other or ipseity itself are bound to slippage, the ambient addictions of browsing a set of imagined striations. Best to enjoy that, while we (physically) still can.

The Phantom Islands project: http://andrewpekler.com/phantom-islands/

M.S.

‘Funks of Ambivalence: On Flarf’, by Andrew Epstein, LA Review of Books

Flarf’s controversy is no secret within the poetry world. What started as protest poetry, in the manner of pirate radio - a way of ‘hacking’ the internet by mining and reassembling its linguistic fragments - soon sank in a cesspool of suspicion about plagiarism, appropriation and writerly privilege. Well, not exactly ‘sank’, because sank implies a kind of closure, when actually flarf still floats around - the poetic plastic that won’t quite biodegrade, even in these times of lyric revival.

Having recently published, Attention Equals Life: The Pursuit of the Everyday in Contemporary Poetry and Culture (2016), Epstein is well-versed in tracing how poetic form variously attempts to render, illumine or escape the experiential debris of daily life. Here reviewing a recent anthology, published by Edge Books in 2017 (Flarf: An Anthology of Flarf), Epstein maps out the emergence of flarf in the context of both the poetry establishment and the internet’s structural history, honing in on the use of search engines and data trawling as modes of playful aesthetic resistance. He quotes Gary Sullivan (a founding flarfer), who describes ‘flarf’ as both a neologism for ‘a kind of corrosive, cute, or cloying, awfulness’ and verb, meaning ‘to bring out the inherent awfulness, etc., of some pre-existing text’.

A good review perhaps brings something extra to the text it feeds on, and Epstein succeeds in supplementing Flarf: An Anthology of Flarf’s lack in the critical department. As Epstein puts it, the anthology is ‘completely devoid of scholarly apparatus’. What might be ‘more a bid for canonization, an enshrinement of a now-defunct avant-garde’ nevertheless requires a bit of aesthetic and political contextualisation, which Epstein’s piece usefully gestures towards. As post-internet poets, self-identified or otherwise, we’re all guilty of getting a little too flarfy at times, fooling around with discursive detritus online. It’s commentary like Epstein’s that sets all this appropriation in its necessary social contexts - from gender to race, ethnicity, class and sexuality.

Epstein’s upshot is that the ‘antics’ of flarf retain the potential for cultural resistance, but that flarf should not be considered solely in a dematerialised junkspace of recycled ‘play’. Rather, we should be reading flarf alongside certain contemporary poets (Epstein names a few), who digest its playful ‘tactics’ for a more substantial sociopolitical aesthetics, and what’s more acknowledge the extent to which flarf has become the condition of all information dissemination, both online and IRL. As he puts it, paraphrasing Man Ray’s chiastic assessment of Dada’s survival: ‘Flarf cannot live in America. All America is Flarf, and will not tolerate a rival’. In an era of reality-breakdown and disorientating news dissemination, conducted over the famously elliptical medium of Twitter, presided upon by the US President himself, this seems about right.

M.S.

‘The Irrelevant and the Contemporary’ by DannyPenny, The New Enquiry

‘Post-Internet Poetry Comes of Age’, by Kenneth Goldsmith, The New Yorker

So why is post-internet poetry #trending?

Over the past few years, the art world has been throwing around the term “post-Internet” to describe the practices of artists who use the Web as the basis for their work but don’t make a big deal about it. For these artists, unlike those of previous generations, the Web is just another medium, like painting or sculpture. We’re beginning to see a similar turn in poetry.

Is it fair to say that successful post-internet poems should not merely “update confessional poetry for the age of mass surveillance"? That Poems that want to mirror or deconstruct the experience of living on the internet need a poetics that address that experience on a structural and material rather than semantic level? What is the result of such poetry? Poems that are "boring to be around"? Or poems that are at once organic and mechanical, personal and, in a sense, objective? Why is it that a mining, massaging, and reworking of found online texts into something personal appears to be fuelling some of the more adventurous poetry being written today? See what Kenneth Goldsmith and Danny Penny have to say.

M.P.

#SPAM Digest #Max Parnell #Denise Bonetti #Maria Sledmere #post-internet #poetry #flarf #maps #geography #surveillance #trending #Real Life Mag

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

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Phantoms and Mirages Fic Commentary, Part 1

So. I’ve basically written up over six thousand words of reaction/commentary of @renegadewangs‘s fanfic Chasing Phantoms, the first instalment in the Phantoms and Mirages series. This post’s commentary covers the first ten chapters, but I still reference parts beyond that excluding Tracking Ghosts, which I still have yet to read (so the commentary itself is spoilery in the sense that it jumps about at times and references stuff beyond the chapter at hand). So please no spoilers regarding the final instalment! Meowzy, I hope this was okay for me to do, please let me know if it’s not! The way I’ve written this up is kind of like a review where I’m talking to you, but other fans are more than welcome to comment on and engage with this post if they wish. I plan to cover the series at least up until the end of Lifting Spirits with these commentary posts.

Sorry for Very Long Post!

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 1

First off, already, in the first few sentences, you present us with something to contrast SO strongly with the changed Bobby we see later – specifically to contrast as much as possible, basically. The difference here between this Bobby and Randy Liberate, it’s, aaaah…! You specifically draw attention to this, in the very beginning of the very first chapter… You didn’t HAVE to make the contrast so stark, but you did, and god damn it hit me hard. XD. NOT GONNA LIE IT MADE ME KINDA “ANGRY” THAT YOU DID THIS LIKE, hahaha. You did this on purpose, didn’t have to make that the content of the first few lines of dialogue.

Man, you know what occurred to me when I was starting to read this fic? In the past there was at least one fic on the PWKM that a friend linked me to that was also a Bobby Lives AU where Bobby was also traumatised – but it was basically one where Bobby had been held captive during that whole year. And I read a little bit of it then basically shoved it aside and couldn’t read it anymore. It was just too off-putting for me, the horror and level of trauma Bobby must have suffered over such a long period of time too much to think about, making me feel ill and sick to my stomach at the time. Now that fic – based on what my friend told me and what little I read of it – focused on Bobby and his slow recovery. The phantom was not really present, they were not a character – they were merely a part of the fic’s background formation, the referred-to and merely alluded to entity whose prime influence over the fic was being the source of – having inflicted Bobby’s trauma, the trauma already having played out.

Now there’s more than one reason I didn’t continue reading that fic, and what they have in common is that they stem from the fact that I like the phantom a lot as a character. Therefore, I want to read fic with a focus on the phantom and with the phantom as an actual character who does stuff in the fic, and that fic did not meet those requirements. SECONDLY… I was not, and until reading Phantoms and Mirages, was never really in the habit of giving Bobby Fulbright as a character much focus. Reading about Bobby shell-shocked and traumatised was a fundamentally uncomfortable experience (as it should be) because naturally it made me feel very very bad for the guy, but also because the fic wanted to (rightfully) position the phantom as an abhorrent and detestable being. Now usually I got no problem with that but the way that fic went about it felt somehow different – it made my insides twist, perhaps because it was shining a spotlight on the phantom’s victim(s) as opposed to the phantom themself. It did not encourage my love for this awful fictional character, it did not give me anything to “fangirl” over, it just made me dislike the phantom in the context of that fic, and I wasn’t about that life.

So back when I’m starting out this fic written by you, where Bobby is actually a player on the chessboard getting a bunch of focus, and I’m like oh, boy. Is it going to be like that again? Is this fic(s) going to make me feel super, duper bad about Bobby Fulbright and by extension, just make me feel sick when thinking about the phantom? Is this series going to encourage me to hate the phantom and have a certain degree of success? I was a little worried.

…Phwwhwhh…. Bahahaha. Oh, past me. If this fic series has a thesis, I can tell you it’s NOT “this person known as the phantom is bad forever and you should hate them.” Can you believe this was ever one of my concerns? : D Hehehehe.

Oh my god… Oh my god… Reading over this again, it just hit me – the IRONY of that corpse being labelled a “John Doe” and referred to as such… goshdangit Meowzy!!! I know you love your irony an awful lot. Is there no end to your amusing twists and reversals?! XD. I’M TRYING TO THINK, DID THEY ACTUALLY CALL THE CORPSE A JOHN DOE IN TURNABOUT FOR TOMORROW? THAT MIGHT’VE BEEN WHAT GAVE YOU THE BEGINNINGS OF THE SHELLY IDEA… HMMMM.

Now as much as I poked fun above about the possibility that this series would make me dislike the phantom, man did this chapter make me feel bad for Bobby Fulbright. It really manages to put you in his shoes. Struck me REALLY heavily just how absolutely mind-breaking it must be for your captive to step into the room and they’re, well, you. To have the spitting image of yourself calmly and coldly hold you at gunpoint… goddamn. That’s some shattering stuff. Honestly even if none of the Shelly death happened, poor Bobby, the guy would already have a lot of baggage that would take a lot of time to work through based on that alone.

The “highly respected nobody” and “devoted your life to justice, but in doing so forgot to pursue close bonds with loved ones” comments and Bobby’s reaction was flippin’ heartbreaking for me. I’ve seen plenty of meta written before supposing about Bobby not having any real close loved ones and how that would have made impersonation easier, and for the people doing that analysis there is always an air of “huh that’s kind of sad/depressing, actually” – a level of acknowledgement there that I would register when reading such analysis, but here in this chapter I’m hit with the absolute full force of it and just how depressing it is when Mr Bobby Fulbright himself is confronted with that analysis (or at least, that’s what it really felt like the first time I read it!). It really hurt to think about! This is what I mean when I say I’m impressed that you gave Bobby Fulbright agency as a character – in fics where he is dead, or in meta passively analysing him, this analysis is basically applied to him post-mortem. He’s an idea, a thing to be dissected, with no concrete shape or form (because we can never know how accurate the phantom’s impersonation was). And in later chapters the text itself lampshades this. Bobby’s later comments about being treated as a martyr of justice by the public struck me as basically how the fandom as a whole tends to treat him, and that may have been intentional on your part. We, the fandom and the players, just like Simon Blackquill, never actually got to meet the real Bobby Fulbright. But here, here? As a character in your fic, Bobby gets to take shape as a concrete entity as opposed to the multitude of possibilities that he is in much of fandom. But importantly, he gets to react. He gets to react to things, and he is the one reacting to this very analysis of himself. As shattering as it is for him, in this chapter he gets to basically hear a solemn takeaway that parts of the fandom have made about his person. And in subsequent chapters, he is given the chance both to respond and overcome it.

It’s kinda funny, you know what these scenes made me think and wish? “Man, it really sucks that Bobby Fulbright died, actually. It really, really sucks. I wish he hadn’t died.” Keep in mind that I was kind of, err… too distracted by the phantom to be truly sad over Bobby when playing the ending of Dual Destinies for the first time. Hmm. Well, this chapter certainly helped me out with feeling the anguish that the average player did over Bobby!

“Wish Bobby didn’t die. It’s not fair! Wish that Bobby was, you know… still alive. Somehow.” Hah! Meowzy, you were just standing there like “don’t worry bro I got you covered.”

When I read this chapter for the first time, I didn’t actually know for certain that it was a Bobby Lives AU. I mean, it was telling me that Bobby Fulbright was gonna be a character, but all signs so far seemed to point to “yeah, he’s a character… in flashbacks.” The fic tags were saying Blackbright, and yet the entire setup seemed to be saying otherwise. It left me kinda confused and wondering how, in what capacity would our man Bobby Fulbright be playing a role. This chapter had made me so certain he was dead, that I actually thought supernatural elements would be involved. Ghost Bobby! : D

And I honestly don’t know why, but for some reason I’d always assumed Phantoms and Mirages as a series was some Fun Wacky AU With Actual Supernatural Elements for the longest time back when I didn’t know anything about it. It’s part of why it took me so long to finally get around to reading it. I blame both the chosen titles involved (why I failed to realise back then that they were not actually meant to be taken literally, seeing as the canon “phantom” character has no supernatural elements, I really don’t know) and the fact that “Bobby Fulbright” and “the phantom” were both listed as characters co-existing in the same fic. My mind just went “does not compute” to the point where it straight-up assumed it mustn’t be canon compliant and/or have fantastical elements. Heh. Joke’s on me.

So yeah, you made me really sad and wish Bobby hadn’t died and he was still alive… in an AU where he lives! Excellent work ;D

Just also want to randomly say again(?) that I can’t believe you managed to write canon compliant Bobby Lives “AU” fic. You took two of the main issues/problems I’ve seen raised by fans; “why did it take a year for Bobby’s body to be found” and “why did the phantom allow that evidence to be discoverable”, and managed to actually solve them in a manner that supports a Bobby Lives “AU”. Brilliant!

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 3

The guard by the man’s side exchanged a meaningful look with his fellows on the other side of the glass as the tirade was still ongoing, though the next few words were in a foreign language. French? Then Cohdopian? He switched back to English soon enough, which didn’t diminish the oddity one bit.

The Phantom was losing it.

Gosh, I can’t emphasise enough how much I loved the language switching here. That’s another thing this series does REALLY well: acknowledging other languages and having characters change between them. An international spy is naturally going to know more than one language, that’s just kind of a given, and I don’t see much meta or fics acknowledge that, so I really do adore how strongly it’s a given in your fics. The way language switching is done and discussed, and just discussion of listening to other languages etc is usually really well done in this series and I always enjoy it.

But I just especially love this particular scene – the phantom inadvertently changing languages because he’s just that far gone is… iconic. I’d almost say it’s kind of a miracle that they were able to stick to the one language throughout their entire breakdown at the end of Dual Destinies, but then again, they only used the faces of “English” speaking characters I guess, flitting between their voices, so it does make sense!

Interesting that, when I read through this chapter for the first time, when the phantom started actually making threats and being like “I’M GOING TO BREAK OUT OF HERE AND YOU WILL PAY, SEE YOU SOON!!” I was, well, sceptical. I was like, hmmm, huuh…? “That doesn’t really, um, make sense, does it? Isn’t that a little out of character for the phantom?” and yet, the narrative itself acknowledges this, through Blackquill, later on when things come to a head. I was awfully foolish to ever doubt the Great Meowzy. :P

Now this time around, of course I know exactly what’s going on here and register precisely how this seemingly odd behaviour slots into the phantom now.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 4

”Bobby Fulbright.”

Fulbright stiffened at the mention of his own name, just for a few seconds.

OH, HERE WE GO. YEAH. HERE WE GO, HUH???

Yeah, you might have seen/noticed from my posting in the discord chat, but this? This inspired quite the reaction in me. This made me livid, frothing at the mouth. Not in any way towards you, the author or the writing, but towards the character. Mission accomplished via good writing!

Well, I wasn’t angry at first, I don’t think. Initially it was just a kind of, delighted bewilderment when he showed up – I am pretty sure I found it pretty, well, amusing. Funny but in a sense you’re laughing out of shock and bewilderment more than anything. LIKE… IT /IS/ PRETTY FUNNY IN A SUPER WACKY KIND OF WAY… the narrative has kind of said in no uncertain terms over and over again, that this character is dead. And here he is, in the flesh, alive, just like that.

The phantom: lol Bobby Fulbright is dead and I killed him

(Except he’s lying through his teeth.)

Like, YES, we have the narrative undercurrent of Simon’s creeping suspicions leading up to this point – it’s most certainly not something that happens out of nowhere, textually speaking. The groundwork HAS been laid, and alternative explanations have been hinted and implied. (An AU of this AU would be some grimdark angsty thing where Simon follows the “maybe he’s not actually dead though” trail and gets his hopes up only for it to end in despair because nah, he’s really gone dude, and it was all your imagination and yearning for something that will never be, but anyway).

It’s awkwardly funny and funny in an awkward way. This guy presumed dead, another guy claiming to have killed him, the funeral has taken place, THE BODY SUPPOSEDLY IDENTIFIED AND /BURIED/, THE LOCATION OF THE MURDER SUPPOSEDLY IDENTIFIED- People are in mourning.

Bobby: Oh. Hey. Hello, um, yes. I’m alive haha

Part of it is that it’s so sudden too. I kind of love it. He’s just there at the cemetery, Simon chases this random man down and it’s Bobby flippin’ Fulbright.

So at first it’s like

:O [laughing confusedly] what the heck? Bobby, you’re aliiive! : D

Then it’s like

Bobby, how the hell are you alive?

…And what the hell are you doing here?!

Then finally reaches a crescendo in a sort of WAIT, HOW DARE YOU BE ALIVE?!

My standard expectation for a fic scenario like this – “Bobby is alive post-DD” is him being found, hidden away somewhere – him having been forcibly hidden away from the outside world with no way to make contact with it if he wanted to. He needs to be uncovered. He’s certainly not casually hanging out in the background at cemeteries, walking around outside freely, that’s for sure, hahaha.

But no, he was not discovered in some dark cellar, chained to the wall. He was discovered walking around out in the open, nothing really preventing him from making contact with people.

My amused surprise quickly and rapidly gave way to rage.

Rage at this man!!! Rage, as the story progressed and unfolded in the immediate aftermath of this initial scene.

All thoughts of the phantom – the god damn phantom, the entire reason I started reading this fic in the first place – vanished from my mind. Stuff the phantom. Who cares about the phantom?! All of my thoughts and feelings and reactions were all focused on Bobby. For the next small chunk of the fic, the phantom is not relevant, and I couldn’t care less, because he was completely irrelevant to me at that point too, and for me that’s kind of a big accomplishment writing-wise in and of itself.

“You’re a real doll”

“Y o u ‘ r e a r e a l d o l l”

HMMMMMMMMMMM

Me: BOBBY FULBRIGHT ARE YOU OKA

“shooting her a playful. WINK”

UHHHHGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I FORGOT HE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT BEFORE THE SMOKING REVEAL but I was already blind rage at that point anyway sdklsdklsd like… Bobby Fulbright just… Existing “freely” and not having contacted the authories or anything… was more than enough to tip me off that something was horribly wrong, that this Fulbright had fundamentally betrayed himself and what he stands for in some capacity. That much was already clear to me – I was essentially infuriated over certain reveals before they even happened. I already Knew, really. Looking back, the “doll” line MIGHT not have been intentional? But basically: I am Very Certain it really doesn’t suit Bobby’s character back before the phantom happened and kinda ruined his life for a while there. When he said that to Olga… It was really Randy Liberate speaking imo. Post-phantom Bobby though, I guess would possibly say that line too. But it was a line that just made me uncomfortable and be like [holds out cross in self-defence] “I Don’t Trust Like That.” (And my friend agreed when I told her about the line hahaha). The main point is it’s a small but stark contrast to Original!Bobby and I was like bro. oh no.

Wait no what am I saying – as far as Phantoms and Mirages has established, Bobby is Very Gay (unless he’s also attracted to women but I don’t recall it being mentioned. Huh!) and also had never acted on his sexuality originally. He just wouldn’t be the type to Wink And Act Like That. Post-Randy-Liberate-Bobby would but probably only in a purely playful and innocent sense, obviously with no actual interest there. I could be wrong but Yeah! Anyway

”What’s this?” He snatched the last item up with one hand to inspect it. “You don’t smoke.”

”Bobby Fulbright didn’t smoke. Randy Liberate took it up last year,” the other man corrected him. “It relieves stress.”

OH MY GOOOOOOD HERE IT IS……………..THE H

YEAH. YEAH YOU PROBABLY SAW ME TALK ABOUT THIS IN DISCORD I GUESS FOR SURE.

CONGRATULATIONS, this just……. The narrative absolutely achieved its goal here. This, I was so… The IMAGE. The image just gave me such a visceral reaction it was just like yeah, yeah, okay. Bobby would Never, but here we are I guess, I was ready to throw hands. Man I was so mad, this man I swear… Once again… The good writing absolutely resulted in Mission Accomplished for what it was going for.

Worth noting that there was a kinda misconception I had here initially – from the information the fics give us later on, it seems that Bobby actually had pretty free reign when it came to shaping who Randy Liberate was? Even if he had some rough guidelines he needed to follow maybe, guy was pretty free to do and be what he wanted. At this point I actually thought that Randy Liberate was already a set personality that Bobby had to fake, and that he Could Not Stray from the mould that was given to him. I figured that Randy Liberate smoked, and when Bobby became him, he’d no real choice in the matter (but also genuinely wanted to just Become this new person so ultimately, he didn’t care, he just did it cause Whatever, if he’s Randy Liberate then smoking is cool now, who cares! Not Bobby Randy!) Guess the “took it up last year” should have tipped me off? But oh well.

…Oh! I also just want to say it’s worth noting that the “Bobby found, was kept prisoner in a cellar for a year”-type scenarios don’t work for me, and they’re part of why previously I was never really able to accept Bobby Lives AUs – I just found it too unrealistic for the phantom to hold Bobby captive for so long, cause it was like, why? For what reason? The scenario you give is so much better imo and I can, yeah, I can buy it! I love Blackquill kind of actively lampshading it though hahaha. “Literally what reason would the phantom keep you alive for? You’re a liability, it would be Too Dangerous for them, makes no sense to me” – Simon Blackquill, anticipating my objections ahead of time and voicing them. God, I love that.

Simon watched as Fulbright slipped a cigarette into his mouth and lit it.

Skjnsdndskjnsd thanks, I hate it! SDKJDKJDKJB OK SORRY I JUST. I just have to put this here for the extra “Oh my God… this is really happening huh… the level of discord shoved into a single sentence.” Simon comments on Fulbright acting nonchalant. You know what else is nonchalant? This sentence. And it’s all the more effective as a result.

I should pull up some of Ye Olde Liveblogging messages I sent to my friend over this, consisting hugely of “[cocks gun] you’re not Bobby. Who are you.” Exactly the point, of course.

(”the two of us” here refers to my friend and I).

Heh, don’t worry, I won’t kill Bobby. Bobby is fantastic. At this point of the fic it was really something though

”[…] it was the only life I could still have. A second chance for a dead man. I was lucky to be given even that much.”

Just like the phantom gets in Lifting Spirits.

WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE CASUAL SWEARING TOO OH YM GOOOOD. The “I stopped trusting in justice” I just CAN’T.

Me, screaming: GET OUT!!!! HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD

Sdlnsdlknsdkl

I always just think about this one AskAceAttorney post where they go “Bobby would never swear. It’s not just.”

The casual marriage reveal too just slays it, hits it out of the park… “Crashing parties” Bobby,,, is gone. He’s not here anymore. I can tell you that. That was Randy.

”Pathetic!” he slammed his fist against the wall behind him, causing both Fulbright and Taka to give a start. “Absolutely pathetic! I’ve yet to decide who is more detestable, you or the Phantom!”

I AM BLACKQUILL, BLACKQUILL IS MEEEEE, at least the first time I read through this, that is. Love when the POV character is on the exact same wavelength reaction-wise.

The newcomer seemed confused for a few seconds, if only because despite their viably different situations, there were two men in the room who looked virtually identical.

IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUNNY… LIKE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THE SITUATION IS FUNNY BUT THIS ONE SPLIT SECOND? HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT. The image of Shelly just pausing and looking at what he’d just abruptly burst in on is GOLD. Ahahaha. “oh GEEZ which one is the target?!” (that quickly becomes kinda obvious, but the brief confusion is everything to me). Well I suppose it would have been bad news for Bobby if he’d been able to subdue phantom by some miracle and the situation WAS reversed, that’s for sure!

God. Literally everyone in the room at this point is in an awkward situation tho im

Shelly, having come across this weird scene with Two Identical Men: what

The phantom, his almost-murder he was about to commit having been interrupted and his Secret Hideout having been intruded on without warning by an annoyingly persistent assassin that just won’t go away: what

Bobby, being held at gunpoint and About To Be Murdered: what

It’s so great.

Still, fast as he was, the stitched man was faster.

I concur. I always figured that, if at point-blank range or whatever, Shelly would win. Killing is his trade, after all. It’s his specialty. It’s not the phantom’s specialty in the way that it’s Shelly’s specialty – the phantom has his Cool Spy Moves and is good at being a spy but like, that’s just not equal to Shelly and his craft, man. The phantom’s only hopes with Shelly are just to avoid being caught amidst his many identities. Or an unlikely person saving his life.

Oh and it’s super interesting because there’s actually fanart of Shelly and the phantom (fully decked out as Bobby Fulbright) running at each other for a throwdown match, the text of the post just saying “killer vs killer”. I wonder, have you stumbled across this fanart before? Could it have at all served as a kind of inspiration, perhaps? Or maybe your fic actually predates it, and the inspiration was the other way around. Or maybe it’s just an amusing coincidence, and neither influenced the other – there just happens to be fic of a certain piece of fanart and fanart of a certain scene from a fic, this unintentional on everyone’s behalf. I actually think that’s pretty damn cool. Well, no matter what the truth is: neat!

Anyway, there is honestly so much that happens in this series – it is so completely filled to the brim and action-packed that I essentially forgot that Shelly de Killer got killed way back at the start until it became relevant again. In the grand scheme of things, it just feels so… understated, almost. When I read it, I was like “whoa, dude, you just killed off Shelly de Killer. Whoa. What!” And then it promptly got swept away amidst everything else, you know? My mind just had SO MANY other things to focus on.

Well no, it’s not understated – Bobby suffers severe trauma, and he can never truly purge that horrific scene from his mind. BUT what I mean is, from the way the narrative handles it, it becomes more “that thing Bobby was traumatised by and needs counselling for” and “that event that led to a body being confused for Bobby’s own corpse” (I swear I literally kept forgetting that was Shelly, that’s actually Shelly’s corpse). The powerful impact of “SHELLY DE KILLER IS DEAD!!!” got lost somewhere along the way, and then fast forward to Lifting Spirits and Benny shows up and OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And by the way, the fact that it even becomes relevant again, in the first place? Storytelling and writing at its finest. Like… You didn’t have to make everything come full circle like you did. I had long-dismissed the Shelly incident as, well, a wacky incident where an iconic canon ace attorney character gets killed off and practically FORGOTTEN about it, never actually expecting it to really get expanded upon beyond that, but by hell it sure did. You are awesome. I would never have guessed this one scene would send out shockwaves that would come back full force to haunt the phantom fics later. At that point, he’s no longer the phantom of course, but well, we’ll get there… : ) But it really goes to show that Nothing is really wasted in this series, honest-to-goodness, and that’s such good writing, it’s so cool.

I also forgot that, even back here, way back then, Bobby saved the phantom’s life. He really Did that huh.

ALSO I FEEL LIKE THERE’S LOWKEY IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS IS JUST, an average day in the life of the phantom, and that’s really funny to me too. ‘Cause it kinda IS standard to an extent, I guess.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 5

”Aura, I have a question. Do you believe it’s right to start a second life when your first one has gone to hell?”

Oh? You mean kinda like… Lex does in the end? :P

Well I suppose this fic series raises that debate early on. XP

”Of course I don’t think it’s right. Who would even get a second life? Cheats like the Phantom, that’s who!”

OH,..

Now obviously the first time reading this I read it in the context of “yeah, bc shedding identities and all” BUT THIS TIME AROUND, IT TAKES ON A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT MEANING… HEH. Actually you know what, the first time reading this I don’t think I even dwelled on it or how it connects to the phantom having so many identities he sheds and takes up, it just seemed like an easily-overlooked “the phantom is awful and a cheat” comment and I’m kinda. Yelling at the resonance of this line now.

Oh, and her bringing the word “cheat” into it, and I think I recall a line in Lifting Spirits at the end where it says they “felt like they were cheating”… heh. Heh.

”Genuine humans only get one life and we have to make the best of it.”

Her exact sentiments in Lifting Spirits… I didn’t even think about how this aspect also comes full circle. A similar kind of question is posed, first about Bobby Fulbright (or rather, “Randy Liberate”) in the beginning, and then about The Man Currently Known As The Phantom in the end. The answers and the outcomes that the fic provides to these rather similar kind of questions are quite different. Aura’s stance never wavers, not even once.

…This fic series’s meta writes itself tbh.

OKAY. ANYWAY I LEGIT TEARED UP A LITTLE READING THE MESSAGES THAT WERE WRITTEN TO BOBBY IN THAT BOOK, NOT GONNA LIE. The feels.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 6

Anyway yeah this is just so good and well-written, the whole play on Bobby actually needing to fake his old persona for the sake of other people…

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 7

…You know, I just realised, I’d actually been very sceptical of Bobby’s level of proficiency in Borginian, given his job and lack of opportunity to use it previously when he was a detective, the fact that he learned it years ago and thus a lot of the knowledge had probably faded over time (although obviously I know it had the chance to be brought up to speed again over the past year, I just had strong doubts over that being enough). But then I realised that my only experience with knowing another language is Mandarin Chinese, so uhh…. It’s OBVIOUSLY going to be far easier if the other language Bobby knows is, in fact, much closer to English. Huh.

Me, with a smarmy voice: actually Bobby being fluent in Borginian is unrealistic, there’s no way given that he would have had so little opportunity to use Borginian over the years

Me, realising that Borginian would probably be way easier to learn for an English-speaker than Chinese is and therefore my perception is skewered: …OH.

I actually felt so bad for Fulbright’s “wife”, because tsk tsk, just like Simon I too had made an assumption there. But imagine marrying this guy and DURING the divorce proceedings you find out the identity was fake and the circumstances that led to it… that’s so screwed up.

Me now @ past me, thinking about how Domestique already knew: HAHAHA

[narrows eyes] oh. Here we are. Our first phantomquill. …………..hmph. I’ve still not the full capacity to confront this – I’m still trying to figure it out for myself. Nnh. Well, more on… this later, I suppose. It will come up again. ;P

I uh, wonder how long it was until you changed gears on your original plans. Kinda feels like you were still gunning for full-blown one-sided phantomquill at this point, ahaha.

When was the last time anyone had touched him with such kind intentions?

>kind intentions.

Yes, I am sure the intentions are wholly kind, I’m sure there is nothing awful or twisted or empty about them. God damn it, Meowzy. :P

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 8

”Don’t worry, detective. I’ll put you out of your misery now.”

“Ok you helped save my life but I’m still gonna kill you lol.”

Whew… So we have the phantom outlining the full extent of Randy Liberate’s exploits. By this point though, I’d basically already dealt with and come to terms with, well, just how much Bobby had changed. I’d already presumed most of the phantom’s bombshells regarding that, but the extent of it still came as a surprise. I also hadn’t expected the text to make it this explicitly clear, and truly highlight it all, underscoring just how much it positions Bobby at the opposite end of a scale compared to how he was before.

Although, it didn’t really affect me too much, since I’d already done my fierce reactions to changed!Bobby towards the start – even if it was even worse than I’d assumed, I’d already mourned TotallyInnocent!Bobby, to the extent that hearing all this resulted in a kind of deadpan “well this may as well be the case, huh” within me – the most impactful fact was that Innocent!Bobby was gone, back towards the start. To what extent he had vanished, how far gone Bobby was, therefore didn’t change that fact, if that makes sense.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 10

Athena’s “phantom menace” comment really cracked me up. It’s little things like that which are not only funny, but they’re authentic, and I love that.

I really like how the narrative of this series handles names and identities, how in the flashback scene they’re called Randy Liberate and Bobby Fulbright – that’s just how it is. Because those ARE effectively their identities at that point.

…Okay this is random but I’ve needed to go through airports recently and digital fingerprinting was part of the process to get through at one point; it’s a relatively new addition though. Though I still took flights that didn’t involve it, but I just thought, man, Randy Liberate would be screwed, what with having no fingerprints. Although maybe Mr Liberate has a valid reason and there’s an alternative security check he could use – I’m sure the phantom would have thought it through and had everything covered for him. What a great guy! Very helpful, very considerate, amirite? And generous for allowing Randy to use his funds, too! Okay I’m done XD

No actually I’m not – one more joke:

”Don’t lose track of your phone, alright? You never know when I might call to check up on you.”

Awww he really cares uwu uwu uwu how sweet!

”Now Randy, remember to behave yourself. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

THAT was unnecessary, phantom, stuff you. This and the “stress could be the death of you” comment… HMPH.

So this chapter really drills home just how formidable and terrifying the phantom on the loose can really be. A horror movie thriller really could just pick up this whole concept and run with it freely – needing to keep your loved ones in sight at all times, lest they be replaced by an emotionless killer. The constant fears and paranoia and always second-guessing yourself whether such and such loved one is REALLY them or not or someone who would kill you without a second thought. Hmm! I was kinda excited/thrilled at reading of the phantom’s escape, only for it to all come crashing down on me how genuinely scary and awful that is for all of our protagonists and the characters that I actually, you know, care about!

THE SUSPENSE IS REALLY GOOD, WITH TIME PASSING AND NOTHING HAPPENING AND THE QUESTION BEING BEGGED “where is the phantom? What are they up to? What do they plan? They could be lying in wait anywhere. They could be just outside or in another country.” It’s SO GOOD.

At this point, I actually didn’t really… care about the phantom? I felt a kind of disconnect, wherein I had this absolutely hilarious and unfounded in retrospect assumption that the author didn’t really care too much for the phantom as a character, and would rather just focus on Bobby and Simon while the phantom terrorizes them somewhere far off in the background.

Me at the time: don’t get me wrong this fic is pretty fantastic and well-written, it’s just a shame that the phantom’s role is kinda minor I guess

(PFFFFFFF)

Yeah because the phantom will totally never have a prominent or pinnacle role in this series with “phantom” namechecked in the title – suuuure.

Well, to be clearer… The fic was/is still 100% my thing. The narrative was calling him a monster because he kinda is. This is the exact thing I’m usually looking for to read. So why was I feeling weirdly… hurt over that at the time of reading this initially? Well, it just so happens that around that time I’d just reread over the bulk of another phantom fic which in no way excuses the phantom’s crimes, but does portray them rather sympathetically. And it has them faux-getting along with Blackquill except some blurred lines where it becomes genuine getting along. Blackquill uncovers some tragic truths about the phantom’s past and you know, that kind of thing, where Blackquill finds themself caring and they hate that they do but they can’t help it (I’m not talking about Pengy’s fic if that’s what you’re wondering, pff).

So I was still stuck in “sympathetic phantom” mode from that fic where they’d been, well, kinda humanised. Even though I usually love the standard (accurate) “they’re a killer, they’re a monster” take, at that time I was sitting there kinda like “…aww. Right now, I kinda want just a slightly lighter take? Kinda bittersweet, like that fic… I kinda want. MORE.”

I bring this up because it amuses me to no end that I was, on some level feeling complain-y over the phantom a) not getting enough focus and b) not being… humanised enough??? IN THE SAME SERIES WHERE LIFTING SPIRITS LIKE… EXISTS. CAN YOU BELIEVE. I really had No Idea huh, was just completely and utterly clueless. But I never would have thought, never would have guessed in a million years what the endgame was actually going to be. Like, @ past me please have a tiny bit of patience and sit the hell down. You’re reading Chasing Phantoms and feeling lowkey sad because the phantom’s got such a bad rep (that they totally earned btw)? You’re actually assuming the author wants us to only ever see them as a monster? Pff, please. Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.

Little did I know that this series ultimately makes the phantom even MORE “friendly” and MORE likable than the other fic that made me crave that...

But yeah ‘cause of that at the time I was kinda like “ok I’m just gonna, tune out the phantom and how they’re an empty monster for a while cause it makes me kinda sad to think about.” LOL. Well Meowzy will leave no stone unturned, rest assured!

It’s the equivalent of having a nice pizza and the pizza’s absolutely great, there’s nothing wrong with it, but you just happen to not be feeling it at that very moment and are kinda craving icecream instead. (But on a normal day, you’re usually 100% down for pizza!)

[Meowzy voice] “not to worry, I brought pizza AND ice cream. The best damn ice cream you’ve ever had. But you have to finish your pizza first!”

#Phoenix Wright: [loses his badge]#Me showing up on my ace attorney blog with thousands of words of phantom fic commentary: Oh. bad timing?#renegadewangs #Phantoms and Mirages #Phantoms and Mirages commentary #Bobby Fulbright #Simon Blackquill #the phantom #long post

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

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Part 3 of my commentary of @renegadewangs‘s fic series Phantoms & Mirages!

Part 1 | Part 2

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 17

How was this man supposed to impersonate a man who was impersonating him in turn, if he didn’t even have a firm grasp of his own personality and mannerisms?

THIS IS SO DELIGHTFULLY CONVOLUTED I’M LOVING IT. Absolutely living for this.

The dialogue between Randy and Domestique in the flashback is so well-constructed, the layers of SUBTEXT – this fic. Is good.

“That’s not the point,” [Randy] ended up muttering. If anything, not knowing himself only strengthened the point. “For all you know, I could be a dangerous criminal.”

Hot damn, this line.

He supposed he could tolerate Domestique’s presence for a bit longer.

And then they got hitched. Sdkjnsdknldslkn

Running late? What were they running late for? Were Domestique and the Phantom supposed to be on some sort of schedule? Bobby knew he couldn’t question it without rousing suspicion, but that made the curiosity so much more needling.

I got so curious over this too. XD.

ASKNJASDNKLADJL GOD IT IS SUCH A SHAME THAT HE’S NOT ACTUALLY TALKING TO THE REAL PHANTOM HERE. TELL HIM OFF. It’s What He Deserves. Okay but this line is still so funny. Poor Domestique.

“Watch your mouth, LaSoote. There could be children listening in.” Nailed it.

HAHAHAAA I’D FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS.

Domestique’s face twitched into some sort of disgusted expression. Or perhaps it was frustration; Bobby found it hard to tell.

Ah. Ahh. It never really occurred to me before how awkward and awful this situation is for Domestique. Ouch. Because for all he knows that’s the phantom… Who is impersonating his “dead” ex-husband… Who he is in the process of GRIEVING. Like I’d naturally felt bad for Domestique when it became clear he was in mourning but… Never fully hit me how awkward the phantom aspect is. Or, in fact, would have been in any previous instance where the phantom is Bobby and speaking to Domestique, because that was his husband’s former identity, and then his ex-husband. Yeesh. YOU MADE AND ADDED YET ANOTHER CHARACTER TO YOUR STORY FOR THE PHANTOM TO ROYALLY SCREW OVER. As if he hadn’t done that to enough people already. XD

Although there would of course have been quite the distinction between Randy and the Bobby that the phantom was portraying, which would help a little bit for it to be a little less weird… Domestique might have been able to glean things about what Bobby used to be like from interacting with the phantom… Gah, gaah, I’m thinking so much about this now and getting more eager to read Tracking Ghosts to see what information it has to tell me, what light it has to shed. XD

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 18

Your writing style is just, so brilliant. The way you introduce us gradually to different pieces of the puzzle when it comes to Domestique and Bobby’s relationship, and what it was like for Domestique… Keeping the reader curious and wondering, sometimes guessing at the full picture ahead of time and being greatly wrong about it.

THIS FLASHBACK. IS SO DIFFERENT TO READ THE SECOND TIME AROUND. AAAAH.

I really didn’t like Domestique the first time I read it and now I’m just. OUCH.

It hadn’t been the first time Domestique had lost his patience, but never this bad. Never with this much force.

So here we are, the… Hmm. When I first read this, I took this “it hadn’t been the first time” as a kind of confirmation of the phantom’s words regarding beatings, but… “never this bad. Never with this much force”. The crux of it depends on what “lost his patience” actually refers to here. I’d initially taken that as the euphemism for inflicting violence on Randy. But now, I’m like… what if it’s meant more literally? Is it possible this is actually the first time Domestique struck Randy? Or had he done it before, simply with “less force”? …No, the “force” comment, to me, implies that Randy had actually been hit by Domestique before. Just… less severely.

It’s a single punch Domestique dishes out, and it’s implied here to be the worst that Bobby had suffered at his hand. That’s a clear contrast to the more severe domestic abuse that I had been imagining. Of course, we as the reader had come to know that Domestique and Randy had actually shared something, and that Randy clearly cared greatly for Domestique, but this had not caused me to question my assumptions too much. Because there are still “good times” or “honeymoon phases” in otherwise abusive relationships.

But the phantom is far from trustworthy, and he said those things to Blackquill with the specific intent to bother him and to get him to leave. Blackquill himself draws attention to their untrustworthiness and how they were supposed to bother him. He very, VERY easily could have been exaggerating, both intentionally and unintentionally going by his comment about how his “intel wasn’t what it used to be at that point.”

“Randy! You’ve made your point! I get it! I don’t know what else to say, please just stop!”

The first time around, I read this line as quite dismissive, as if he’s saying “oh yeah sure as if you’re gonna really leave, you made your point GEEZ now come back here as you’re inevitably gonna do anyway”, and got the impression that perhaps Randy has tried/threatened to leave before but didn’t, which is why I thought Domestique was not really taking him seriously. I had picked up on the desperation that seemed to be present, but figured that Randy had never gotten this close to leaving before, which caused Domestique to actually start getting worried and want to put an end to it.

He remembered all the times he’d felt like the walls were closing in- like he was back in that cellar and death was all around him- and Domestique had come to soothe him. To tell him he was safe.

The first time around, reading this line had given me a bit of pause, if only because of this line, that Domestique says earlier:

“Did you have another breakdown or something? Are you pissy because you had another one of your crying fits and I wasn’t there to hold you until it passed?”

Which had made me very, very annoyed to say the LEAST and just naturally gave me the impression of someone who is VERY dismissive and neglectful, but furthermore, put in context with Randy’s perspective and his suffering, seemed just downright cruel. Like, it makes it sound like soothing Randy was nothing but a chore whenever he was “forced” to do it.

So my reaction to finding out that, huh, Domestique actually had held Randy and soothed him and actively cared for him when he broke down in the past was at least one point in Domestique’s favour. I was like:

But he wasn’t safe. Not until the Phantom was stopped.

HMM. I do kinda wonder… how he knew to refer to the phantom with this moniker at this point. This was something I also noticed the first time around, and dismissed as a potential mistake. Unless it’s not meant to be specifically from Randy’s POV and more a general narrative perspective thing… WAIT, actually. I think maybe it was supposed to be, yeah, general-narrative-perspective in the present tense

“I know for a fact that you can’t.” Domestique grinned, but it was nothing like the boyish grins that Bobby remembered. “Or how about you speak a few words of Japanese? Or French? Bobby was lousy at French, but the Phantom? He speaks at least fifty languages fluently. Probably more.”

Me: [spits out my juice]

PHANTOM… PHANTOM WHAT?!

WHEN I FIRST READ THIS… I JUST HAD TO STOP AND BE LIKE… EXCUSE ME?! EXCUSE ME? YOU CANNOT JUST THROW IN SUCH AN ABSURD FIGURE AND EXPECT IT TO FLY!

Me: I KNOW THE PHANTOM IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING BUT THERE’S A THING CALLED BELIEVABILITY.

I kid you not, my willing suspension of disbelief snapped in half at the time. XDDD THAT’S JUST… SO MANY LANGUAGES… “FLUENTLY”?! PROBABLY MORE?!?!?!?!

Thirty languages probably would have caused the exact same reaction within me. Fifty was just so far above even that, I-

Like, at most I’d probably have capped the amount of languages the phantom could speak fluently at around 25-28 at most. Throw in a couple more that he has somewhat of a grasp on but can’t speak fluently, MAYBE. That I could take in stride. If I had to pick a number myself, I’d be comfortable at around fifteen.

But we’re also talking about the version of me that had (COMPLETELY unfair!) doubts and misgivings about how you’d chosen to write the phantom’s character and position him in the story up until this point. So, let’s give this a fair assessment.

It just so happens that I do remember reading about a real life man who was actually able to speak around fifty languages, so it is possible. But I’m not sure if he could have been called fluent at all of those, and if I recall, it was also what his career was kinda centred around, and he really just had a natural talent for it (as you’d expect).

There’s also the fact that, if parts of the brain are not taken up and busy processing and feeling emotion, it lends those parts of the brain to be able to be commandeered for other purposes. I don’t doubt that someone could really pull off unprecedented language learning ability if the parts of their brain that should be focused on emotion were instead focused on language learning instead. Furthermore, the mere fact that one doesn’t have any real emotions to be distracted by allows one to focus on learning languages skilfully. These two things could certainly feed into each other to allow a very powerful capacity for learning and retaining languages.

The first point may not really apply to this phantom to the full possible extent due to the bone sliver, which is mostly said to have damaged the phantom’s brain in the area where it counts RE: emotions. That means the relevant damaged/blocked parts cannot be commandeered for language learning instead. HOWEVER, I am willing to accept that the bone sliver further prevents the emotional-processing parts of the phantom’s brain from taking up more space that they should be taking up. That extra (unblocked/undamaged) space could certainly be claimed by other skills such as language learning, allowing the phantom to still have a much bigger part of his brain dedicated to language than the average human’s.

Another point to consider is the phantom’s age and how much time he’s had to claim himself such a high amount of languages. Well, he’s 37 at this point, if I remember right, and if I really think it through and consider him picking up different languages over time when playing different roles or in different circumstances… The fifty number kind of checks out, I guess, depending on how you play it. I still don’t know about “fluently”, but you could have a claim to speaking fifty languages or even a bit more than that at that age.

My other concern is the phantom’s career, based on replacing people and portraying them as accurately as possible. If someone speaks a certain language fluently, being also able to speak that language fluently is absolutely essential. Or it’s WAY too easy to have your cover blown – I mean, I know I don’t need to tell you this XD. I figured that yes, the phantom would know a whole bunch of different languages, but would have a very important need to stick to a certain set of languages he was best at for the people he was impersonating. It’s just really, really hard to speak a language as if it was your native one when you only started to learn it when you were like, 25. Even if you’ve known it for ten years, imo.

But it’s also worthwhile to consider that if the phantom impersonates someone who can speak multiple languages, he would need to speak all of the relevant languages. There’s just a whole lot of ways the phantom could pick up languages over time, and a whole lot of reasons he would need to. I suppose in any “free” time he had, he also may continue learning different languages as well, as it’s a great advantage for his career. Always honing his skills. Like, might as well get a certain language out of the way and have it learned in advance if you might need it later, or it will serve you later on, right?

And then you have little child phantom from under the International School of Languages picking things up there. That’s another important consideration – at least SOME of those languages NEED to be learned early, in one’s formative years, for it to be more believable. Well, Phantoms & Mirages comes back and ticks that box! Now, I did appreciate the narrative circling around and addressing that, although even then I was like “hmm… it’s not necessarily enough, I mean, you need to be able to practice to get better.” But now I realise: yeah, even if what child phantom picked up from listening in on classes wasn’t a whole lot, it was still enough. And it’s not like that’s the only way he learned languages, either. He had his whole life ahead of him at that point, and so many opportunities and different circumstances where he would learn a whole manner and range of them.

Something else to consider is I think my definition of “fluent” is simply too stringent. I’d always used it kinda interchangeably with “like a native speaker”, but I’ve been coming to realise that’s a little naive. I didn’t even know until quite recently (within the past two years or so) that there was some lack of clarity regarding the term and different people had different opinions. But this definition: “able to express oneself easily and articulately.” Can easily occur at levels well below sounding just like a native speaker. So once we take that into account as well, the “fifty or more languages” once again becomes more believable.

So when, finally, I come back, having put it all into context and giving it a more fair assessment, I can… get on board! XD More in the “gee Meowzy, I really don’t know for certain… but you seem to know what you’re doing, so I’ll take your word for it!” XD.

Besides, I can also see the phantom impersonating someone who speaks a given language slightly better than he does. It’s somewhat of a risk, but hell, taking on a new persona always is. There’s plenty of minor non-language stuff that could trip him up, so a slight language disparity isn’t that unique of a risk. And upon taking on the persona, the phantom would constantly be able to bring his speaking abilities for it ever closer to the stolen identity’s and would probably rapidly be able to make up most of the gap and close it, until whatever’s left is not what anyone would really notice. Guess the main thing that bugged me is the notion that he’d be able to impersonate anyone who could speak any of those languages as their native tongue, although that’s not necessarily the case. Well it doesn’t matter – I know that you know what you’re doing! XD

Now it’s honestly a shame that I refused to accept this figure the first time around because honest to goodness I probably would have been cheering if I did, like, that’s my fave character! Right there! 50 languages and counting! Isn’t he amazing?! xD #PHANTOMFANPRIDE

Past Me: author you CANNOT just pull ANY high-sounding and impressive-sounding number and slap it in that’s not how it works… is it?

Back then I really DID NOT know WHAT to make of the phantom in this fic. Such a seemingly unattainable number felt at the time to strip them further of their character and made them feel WAY less grounded in the otherwise very grounded story I was reading.

(Past Me, we keep butting heads an awful lot, and as a recurring theme hopefully it won’t go on for too much longer ;D)

But then I also thought, okay, okay. Maybe Domestique’s estimate is actually inaccurate and/or way exaggerated. Maybe he’s genuinely under this misconception and/or intentionally exaggerating to further have Bobby lose his cool. Kinda begs the question, how would Domestique be able to know this rough figure anyway. The narrative seemed to be implying his estimate was accurate, though, but I was prepared to accept Domestique possibly being mistaken and then move on. (I was ready to slam the “death of the author” button for interpretation of this one sentence back then, if you will).

…Whew, guess who just went on a roughly 1,500 word tangent over a single sentence, derailing and going into depth on a topic completely separate from the chapter’s focus? This person! Well that’s just how I roll.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 19

The dynamic between Bobby and Domestique in this chapter is so awesome to read… Domestique kissing Bobby while he still has the gun, losing control… I was really like, this is one heckin’ fic! Even though I still strongly disliked Domestique for his treatment of Bobby – Randy – just because I could hardly stand the character didn’t detract in the slightest from how cool this was to read and how invested I suddenly was in this wack dynamic between them as this scene went down.

He couldn’t quite keep the satisfied smirk from his face as he peered down at his former husband, now a pathetic, whining heap on the floor. “You’re under arrest, baby. In justice we trust.” The words left him before he could fully process what he’d just said. It didn’t matter. For the first time in over a year, it felt right.

“…You know what I just realized?” “What?” “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

YEAH I’D NOTICED THE LISTED DATE OF RECENT CHAPTERS (albeit like, I was a little slow on the uptake but I’d noticed it well before this scene) and I was like “Huh! Is anyone going to comment on this at all?” Well, why did I even have to wonder??? XD

You write such wholesome, happy and pure Blackbright… bless you. I’m not even at all invested in the ship normally and I’m like “awwwww!”

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 20

If that wasn’t already substantial improvement, Bobby had followed through on his resolve and sought out a therapist, but what with waiting lists and initial testing, it’d be a while before he could begin to receive true counseling.

If the cast of this fic series wasn’t already substantial and intertwined enough, Bobby had followed through on his resolve and sought out a therapist who would later become a major character, but what with the complicated plot threads still lying ahead, it’d be a while before said character could begin to receive true focus and finally make an appearance in the actual story itself beyond mere references.

“With. I was working with the Phantom. Me and him go back a couple years, but if I was working for him, I wouldn’t have busted his ass out of prison. More trouble than it was worth.” A moment of silence as those words sank in. Of course the Phantom hadn’t employed Domestique and his cohort to free him- how could he? He’d been in solitary confinement.

THIIIIS, this! The fact that the characters straight-up assumed – and therefore the narrative implied – that it was a clear-cut case of the phantom being in charge and ordering around underlings who were working for him, had struck me as rather odd. It was a further reason why I couldn’t fully get on board with the phantom in this fic so far when I first read it, because it further drove home the disconnect I’d been feeling. The notion just seemed… off. After all, Dual Destinies does nothing to imply it, and I’d never really seen any phantom fans headcanon it. But there was nothing from canon that outright discounts the possibility, so I’d just kind of accepted what the narrative had been proposing as, an interesting take that merely did not readily fit into my image of the phantom. But then this correction happens and I’m like, oh, okay, huh...! A nudge in the direction of alignment, if you will.

Oh whoa, HAT-1 bomb was Domestique’s? I didn’t realise (remember) he and the phantom went that far back… INTRIGUING!

So now, we finally have the reveal of Domestique staying back late, working on the bomb for Randy’s sake, and that he really, truly did love Bobby, that they could have been happy etc.

That is angsty and had some impact on me accordingly, although my thoughts were still “okay, but you were still abusive towards Randy. This certainly puts your actions in context and causes them to make more sense, but you still did that, so I can’t exactly bring myself to feel too sad about the fact that things didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m still glad that Randy managed to escape that awful situation, even though the whole thing is SUPER sucky from Domestique’s POV.”

The notion that they could have been happy – and indeed, once Domestique was no longer under the pressure of making the bomb, they could be – also came up a little short for me because I’m like: the way things worked out was actually for the best in this case. Domestique was not necessarily a good influence on Randy either, and Randy as an identity is one I still very much feel it was necessary for Bobby to shed on his path to healing. The relationship that Bobby shares with Blackquill is much healthier and happier. It’s what Bobby moreso needs. And because this is a Blackbright fic – Blackbright being the endgame, it’s like, sure, Domestique and Randy could have worked things out, but then we wouldn’t have Blackbright, would we? ;D

But I’m realising I was still just being a LITTLE too harsh on Domestique – I was so focused on continuing to paint him in my mind as a more clear-cut abuser to stop and realise that yes, Domestique inflicted a small(?) amount of violence on Randy and that’s not really excusable despite Domestique’s reasons, but outside of those instances he was never actually “abusing” Randy, was not ever trying to be intentionally cruel or dismissive etc. He loved Randy. He DID care about Randy. He wanted the two of them to share a happy marriage with each other. And they did have a whole heap of wonderful times together! Bobby’s positive behaviour towards Domestique was present in the narrative for a reason, and it was hardly anything akin to the holdovers of abuse as I might have believed before.

Oh and also, at this point I was kinda… slightly confused about how some of Domestique’s actions added up. This is actually one of the things I sent to my friend at the time on the matter:

Now keep in mind – I knew that if Domestique wasn’t willing to obey, the phantom would have killed him, and Domestique was fully aware of this – that’s why he fell into line. What confused me at the time is that Domestique spent time with Bobby before the phantom had infiltrated the apartment, so why didn’t he make any attempt at warning Bobby or trying to save him? There’s a chance that they would have been able to run off together and lie low, because Domestique was planning to retire anyway, and I thought that maybe, Domestique would be willing to put his life on the line if it meant it would save Bobby’s – if there was even a chance they could both successfully evade the phantom. That, coupled with me misinterpreting that line about carrying Bobby’s body being suspicious that Domestique said to the phantom, caused me to think that perhaps Domestique did have some kind of odd additional allegiance to the phantom for him to follow the orders how he did.

But looking back now, I realise there were flaws in my thinking. The phantom would’ve probably had the apartment under surveillance, so how could they escape without being noticed? Perhaps Domestique hadn’t actually known Bobby might get killed before it was too late, because what reason would the phantom have to tell him everything ahead of time? Another huge thing is that Domestique and Bobby were getting along really well, fuelling my “running off together” idea. But the thing is, Randy had still divorced Domestique. Domestique still would have been sore over that, and there was no real guarantee of any proper reconciliation between them. And at the end of the day, going against the phantom is just way too risky and kind of tempting death to come to one’s way. I guess I misjudged and Domestique’s need for self-preservation (and also commonsense in light of these facts) was more powerful than the love he felt for Bobby. And the fact that, well, escape would just be so difficult and implausible.

Oh, and Blackquill too. He would have made it all the more difficult. Domestique probably would have just wanted to escape with Bobby but Bobby would want to warn Blackquill too and it would just turn into an even bigger mess. And how’d they be able to leave without Blackquill noticing, anyway?

So yeah, I think I actually have answered my own questions on this one! The phantom would have thought through all of the possibilities and made sure to have Domestique fully trapped.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 21

Caught in the netherworld between life and death, sanity and insanity, the Phantom was once again a figure outside of anyone’s reach.

I love this sentence so much.

Also, FIRST PHANTOM POV SEGMENT CHAPTER. A-HO!

Just picture, me back then, scooting closer to the hypothetical TV Screen, going, OK, I’m listening, I’m listening…

Me to some hypothetical other person present: Haha yeah so hands down this is an awesome fic, brilliantly written, fantastic characterisation, you know? Just kind of a shame that it happens to be my fave which the author seems to be the weakest at writing for, but – WAIT SHUT UP HE’S ONSCREEN.

he found that he didn’t like that scent.

An opinion. 👀 “It was not a pleasant scent” sounds more neutral, but. Opinion! :D

Lang rubbed at his forehead for a moment before speaking. “We lost the Phantom this morning.”

There is more than one way to read this sentence. The intended reading is kinda obvious, but it didn’t stop my brain from momentarily going “uh, he died??” XD I mean, the guy IS supposed to be in a coma after a suicidal leap from an apartment building, so y’know!

“This is absurd! How do you lose a coma patient? Did someone move him?” “He got up and walked out, actually.”

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND!!!!!!!!!! OMG. AND THIS EXCHANGE IS SO FUNNY.

SIMON SPUTTERING SOMEWHAT AS WELL JUST MAKES IT BECAUSE YEAH, YOU WOULD JUST FALTER UPON HEARING THIS.

Then, in the next segment of the chapter, when it flipped back to the phantom’s perspective and it became clear we were actually going to get the escape from his POV, I was kinda like “wait, what?”. I mean, I definitely wasn’t complaining, but I was a little bit puzzled by that narrative choice. After all – Lang had essentially already outlined the most likely means the phantom used to escape, which would have answered any questions the reader may have had regarding the matter. So to get to read of the breakout from the phantom’s POV as he goes through essentially those same steps is, from a purely information-gleaning perspective, somewhat redundant. What could possibly be achieved by doing this? I had actually expected the finer details to be left up to the reader’s imagination – which itself is a nice little shortcut writing-wise, too.

But it’s so cool. It’s so cool. Right? Could it possibly be? Is it possible that the author is providing more phantom for the sake of phantom? Could they be acknowledging how interesting, how fascinating of a character they are? :D

Lipstick that he had to apply with extreme care, because his fingers wouldn’t stop shaking no matter how hard he tried to keep them still.

I’m such a sucker for phantom-in-a-weakened-state, and this detail reminds me of when their fingers also wouldn’t stop shaking in a scene in Just Fake It, but they had to just persist with what they were doing. :D

He contemplated high-heeled shoes for a moment, only to discard the notion. He was having enough trouble walking as it was.

I’M SCREAMING.

No, not him. Her. Until he was out of there, he was a she and she was a simple nurse who needed to leave the clinic in order to get something from her car.

This was one bit where I was like [quiet sigh] “and that’s why they/them phantom is so great, y’know? Very seamless, where you don’t need to bother switching between he and she pronouns for situations like this – instead you get to have one set of pronouns that remain consistent regardless of disguise when the narrative makes reference to them. And you can switch from they/them to more gendered pronouns accordingly if need be, too!” (But I’ll return to this at a later post.) But! Gosh, I was over the moon, I was like, wow! Wow! Maybe, just maybe, this author knows their stuff and can write a brilliant phantom! You had my attention.

Chasing Phantoms, Epilogue

Phoenix and Apollo had apparently caused a bit of a collision in their hurry.

Amazing! XD The Wright Anything Agency dorks… gotta love ‘em.

The world was far too grand for two people to have a chance encounter unless someone would will for them to meet.

WAIT IS THIS MEANT TO BE SOME KIND OF LEANING-ON-THE-FOURTH-WALL? ASDJKDKJ. YOU WILL FOR THEM TO MEET, MEOWZY. YOU DO.

Or wait. Someone wills for them to meet in-narrative too! To place Bobby in the same cell! Ahhh!

Oh, what a good ending that keeps the reader eager to read on…!

OH YEAH AND IF THE PHANTOM ESCAPES ON THE SAME DAY LANG TELLS BLACKQUILL THEN HE BROKE OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY. march 16

#tumblr sincerely didn't seem to want me to post this #so I added even more chapter commentaries in making it even longer #hah.#long post #so many thoughts D:#Phantoms and Mirages

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 11 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 1

At the very least, he could rest easy knowing that his first motorcycle lesson hadn’t been a complete disaster. The future looked promising.

ANY future looks promising when it has Motorcycle Simon in it

“Here, I brought you a sandwich.” “Is it chicken?”

Blackquill: [known bird lover, intense lover of birds pouring over bird documentaries in his spare time and cherishing Taka with all his heart]

The boy who would become the phantom, the moment he is presented with a sandwich: iS IT CHICKEN?

“But… People die when they are killed.”

ASDJHSDBKJS

A+ DIALOGUE THANK YOU I LOVE IT. GOOOSH I’M. SOMEBODY needs to compile a list of things this same person has said in this series. The above line. The courtroom jokes, the irony line… the “I’m aroace” line… The other things he said to intentionally turn Bobby against him post-phantomquill kissbait, throw in a bunch of other Lex lines too. The RANGE. THE SHEER RANGE. You could just do a list like that, show it to someone and be like “Yeeeaahh so ALL of these are essentially said by the same character in different stages of his life.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 2

Finally, there was a knock on the door and Lang led the way into the room. He looked irritable. He’d been giving off that air since before the surgery. Lex had a suspicion on what might be causing such irritation, but kept it to himself. Lang wouldn’t take his advice on matters like that anyway.

“Matters like that” I’M FGLKFGLKNGF

OKAY ALSO

I SOMEHOW MISREMEMBERED THIS AS BEING SOMETHING HE THINKS BACK BEFORE THE SURGERY BUT EITHER WAY IT’S JUST. GOLD.

The phantom – or the former phantom – Lex just sitting there doing his best to refrain from giving out romantic advice.

Someone younger than he’d expected. This man couldn’t be older than thirty- probably hadn’t even reached that age yet. […] this guy looked rather meek. He was lean; the sort of physique that made it seem like a strong gust of wind could blow him off his feet. His black hair was smoothed back with copious amounts of gel and his face bore overly kind features. A few sheets of paper and a notebook were clutched firmly under his right arm. Coupled with his neat black suit, dark blue tie and thick-rimmed glasses, he looked more like a door-to-door salesman than a therapist.

GEEEEE MEOWZY, GEEEE, SUCH DESCRIPTION, I WONDER IF HE’S AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER OR ANYTHING sdjnksdfknl.

Okay but back when I read this 1st time I was like. Well I seriously didn’t know WHY the hell this guy needed such a strong narrative focus on what he looked like. Like. “He’s the therapist. That’s all we need to know. He’s not important! Why do we care what he looks like! Why does it matter!” askjbsdkjnedskj just felt SO excessive just annoying that the narrative felt like it Cared so much about a random therapist character DFKDFKJ GOD I WAS A FOOL

AND ALSO UHHH

Like yes this fic post-bait was still promising and as superb as ever and had thrilled me with things like the music-listening thing BUT. I need you to understand that I was still very hurt over Fake Phantomquill and therefore, REALLY not in the mood for getting to know Sudden New Characters. The intense goodwill I’d built up for this series over three fics had been largely derailed at this point. I just… didn’t really care all that much about giving new characters a chance thanks to that new apathy. That, and the fact that this series genuinely felt like it was reaching the end at this point, with all of the Major Players already introduced. So how could any important character POSSIBLY show up now? Coupled with how Done I was after the phantomquill bait. SO YKNOW. Idiot that I am, I kind of breezed over the above paragraph a little impatiently without really taking anything in, like I read it but didn’t really ABSORB it or incorporate the physical description into how I pictured the character. I was just like “yeah ok he’s the therapist moving on? What’s next?” (BENNY I’M SO SORRY I WAS VERY MEAN). So yeah, my foolish logic: “series is almost over, all the important characters are introduced, therefore no character introduced at this point could possibly be important, therefore I don’t need to care about or pay attention to anyone new.”

…Like okay, I knew the story wanted me to see this new character as someone important and therefore pay attention to them, but I couldn’t understand why and therefore intentionally failed to pay much close attention almost out of spite.

But like. God. If I had actually bothered to take in anything about that physical description I would have actually NOTICED how handsome he is right from the start. Joke’s on me!

“[…] a person who’s supposed to have no emotions is incredibly interesting.”

[…]

Such an odd point of view was another thing that took Lex by surprise. All his life, people had called him a monster. A freak. A heartless robot or a demon. A Phantom. No one had ever considered his emotional state to be interesting. No one had ever considered it an honor to be sitting across from him. Who in their right mind would?

WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

HELLO. SDKJNSFKJNSDKJ. ALSO THANK YOU SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES HOW INTERESTING THE LACK OF EMOTIONS THING IS.

But this is so funny it’s like the fic is takign aim at the fangirls. Me, a phantom fan: Hah… Yes… Who in their right mind would consider it an honour to be sitting across from him.. sdkjsdkjdsf

(Okay, that angle didn’t occur to me on 1st readthrough but now I’m just jokingly like “I feel so attacked” HAHAAH)

Most of the focus had been on Lex’s physical health and the way he was being treated, both on a medical level and on a personal level. Emotions could affect the body and Lex had to admit that recovery from his surgery was still going at a slow pace.

OH MY GOOOOOD FUUUUUDGE TH. BENNY IS SIZING HIM UP HE’S ASKING THOSE KINDS OF QUESTIONS FOR A REASON. GOD DAAAMN IT BENNY… Knowing the way he is being treated medically, things like that, can make it just that little bit easier! To! Make an attempt on his life! I’M

TFW u do ur job as a therapist but also as an assassin simultaneously.

No one else stopped by his room for hours on end. Not until it was time for the guard shift to rotate and Bobby Fulbright came strolling inside. Over the past week, it’d become painfully obvious that the Phantom’s attempt to crush the man’s cheerful attitude towards him had failed. That Bobby was still as overbearing as ever, acting as if that little incident involving Simon Blackquill hadn’t happened.

Idiot spy underestimated the power and strength of just HOW MUCH Bobby cares about him.

“Hahaha, that’s just like him.” Bobby nudged the wrapper towards the bin with his foot. “And just so you know, he’s single.”

BOBBY NO. THAT IS HIS THERAPIST. THAT IS YOUR THERAPIST,

Lex made sure to shoot Bobby the most emotionless expression he could still bring his face to ease into. It was funny how the surgery had messed with even that much. “It isn’t too late for me to end your life, you know.”

SDJKSDFNKJSDFKLNSDLNKSDLKN this & him saying this is so funny SEND HELP

The mark of Shelly de Killer.

OH. OKAAAY. I’D FORGOTTEN THAT THE FIRST ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT TAKES PLACE ON THE SAME DAY. BENNY WASTES NO TIME AT ALL… And it makes sense I mean. He got the info he needed to go ahead, so why wait? Oh my god..

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 3

…It’s terrible how much I kind of enjoyed Lex’s sudden downturn; what essentially was the prelude to and then became a vomit scene just because This man used to be the Unshakeable Phantom! LOOK AT HIM NOW. >:D

Plus he starts off soooo arrogant and overconfident at the beginning of the chapter as well before Lang is just like. “Lol. Looks like you didn’t actually kill Shelly and he’s after you.” Making the rapid nosedive that follows even more… It feels kinda weird to say “amusing”, but… IDK MAN THERE’S JUST INHERENT NARRATIVE APPEAL IN THIS LEVEL OF WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY AND WHAT HAVE YOU ON DISPLAY after a bout of confidence no less, from this character with this history specifically. Any other character and I’d be appropriately squicked out/feeling bad. I CAN BE VERY MEAN TO MY FAVE.

Also, “prayers to the porcelain god” is actually SUCH a good euphemism. Somehow… If I ever get the chance… I want to see if I can work it into saying it in real-life at least once. I don’t see any such opportunity arising anytime soon, however. :P

“Just send him in, it’s not like the day can get any worse,” Lex grumbled, clambering back onto his bed.

>:D

Benny shows up and it’s just pure dramatic irony. Re-reading is suuuuch a bonus.

What if they were endangering Benny by having him here?

OH MY G

“You’re a Snapple guy?”

I’M, I LOST IT AT THIS

Maybe he just wanted to be the one raising the questions- to be in control of the conversation. …Yeah, that was probably it. That was how the human psyche worked.

I’M?

“Of course. I don’t know how other people manage with their android phones. Snapple’s always got the upper hand,” Benny remarked, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen.

Lex: Right. Have fun with your planned obsolescence, sucker.

IF A REAL LIFE MAN ACTUALLY SAID THIS TO MY FACE.. I GOTTA TELL YA… The sheer level of aggravating this is. XD. I DON’T KNOW IF I’D BE ABLE TO HOLD MYSELF BACK FROM SAYING SOMETHING.

Me internally if an IRL man said this to me: Oh so you’re insufferable and I probably won’t like you very much at all.

SDKJSDNKJSDNKJ

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 4

Bro. Bro I was suspicious of that coffee, man. And then when Lex drains it all, I was like “MMMM somehow… that feels like a mistake he’s going to regret.”

“Could there be any kind of poison in it that interpol could fail to detect?”

But, I didn’t suspect Benny of wrongdoing. I was suspicious of the coffee, but not Benny. I figured that if the coffee had been tampered with, Benny was completely unaware of it. But then, I forgot about it and put it out of mind after that when nothing too dramatic happened immediately after he takes the coffee.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 5

“It’s fine.” Lex was embarrassed to hear that he’d taken on a rather squeaky tone.

Embarrassed… Embarrassed… Embarrassed…!

Yeeeees. It’s like I’ve waited 3 full fics and then some to see this man FINALLY be embarrassed. Feels good.

…Well this chapter certainly gets intense after that. :[

Now this second vomit scene is actually quite appropriately upsetting to read. OOF.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 6

Bro just imagining that slowed-down music really IS super eerie, damn.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 7

“Bobby Fulbright. I was under the impression that you were no longer allowed to be here.”

Gooood he STILL goes for the full titles all the time when “orienting” to the conversation, like he didn’t need to use any name at all here. I’m telling you, 1. This is his character trait, Lex and Phantom alike, and 2. It’s so Franziskan sdkjsdnkjsd.

Bobby sighed. It was like everyone around him realized his care for the Phantom was unwarranted. He himself realized it too, but that didn’t change anything. “I know. I’m just an idiot like that.” “Acknowledgment is the first step to recovery. Now take the next step and get out.” With that, Lex made to slide the headphones back over his ears.

UM rUDE xDDD

While the concept of him being aromantic had been cast into doubt ever since the surgery, he didn’t mean to dig much further into it. Unless he was somehow miraculously saved from execution, his sexuality didn’t matter. He would die just as he’d always lived; alone. The concept didn’t quite stop him from appreciating Benny’s handsome features, though. Or the way Benny kept smiling as if he wasn’t looking at a murderer.

Ohooooh my. Here we are! Precisely what connects back strongly to a lot of the stuff I discussed in my previous post but I couldn’t quite fit it in.

So like. I could very much see what was going on here. Mhm. Yes I did. We are getting implied Lex/Benny. And, confession time, but I MIGHT have stumbled across a post that heavily implied Lex/Benny back before I had ANY inkling of who Benny was… Back before Lex was Lex. So it meant absolutely nothing to me at the time, it simply DEEPLY confused me in the sense of “You’d think I’ve read far enough into the series and yet WHY can’t I make heads or tails of this post?” But, I quickly put it out of mind and temporarily forgot about it and was able to continue reading the text “blind”, but when Benny actually showed up… and Lex is Lex now… And Bobby’s all “He’s SINGLE 😉” I narrowed my eyes all like. Oh. Oh… There’s a certain way this could go. But I still thought “Hey. Maybe nothing will happen and neither of them will develop feelings, maybe it’s just like, a fun side-idea the author personally likes but didn’t put directly into the story- ohhhh and here it is hints on Lex’s side building up in the story. WELL THEN.”

It just felt like…

The author: [shipteases phantomquill, phantom/Athena (YES I KNOW THAT WAS A JOKE AND I AM INCLUDING IT ONLY AS A JOKE THAT WILL LENGTHEN THIS LIST), spyshipping, and even Freudian Phantombright (I AM ALSO INCLUDING THIS LAST ONE ONLY AS A JOKE)]

The author, after doing all of this: [whips out/ushers in their OC at the last minute to pair up with him]

Me:

DFJKSDLKSDKL

The above is a retooled version of a message I sent to my friend at the time – I hope the summary comes across as more of a comically condensed expression of frustration-at-the-time and not mean-spirited (mean-spirited is not what I want to be, I just exaggerate for comical effect is all, and I didn’t expect I’d be telling my feelings to the author directly ahhah..) But as already established? I was quite bitter over the now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t phantomquill, and so I was not particularly impressed at the time as a result… xDDD

I also just love how he, of all characters, seems to be the “launcher of a thousand ships” here… LOL

But of course, Benny is not technically an OC, is he? :P You can argue he’s merely an interpretation of a canon character from Dual Destinies – the courtroom sniper. Dskjdsjknsd

At the time it might have felt “ushered in”, but in reality, Benny has that connection to a “canon” character – the courtroom sniper – the further connection to ace attorney canon through being Shelly’s son, AAAND has already been very much intertwined in this series through “off-screen” references. He really is quite heavily grounded in the fic’s lore. And in Ace Attorney lore. Very, very clever and well-done. …Of course, I didn’t know any of this until the Reveal, so I remained unimpressed until then. Now post-reveal is a different story, and I came to intensely appreciate not only Benny as a character but also just how awesome the dynamic between Benny and Lex really is.

Shipping aside, you have the aroace business… I have actually previously come across a post on your blog where you stated you kinda felt bad for not keeping Lex aroace. I feel like this can easily get pretty thorny, and I want to kind of, as I stated in a previous post, analyse the text as an independent entity here – how I would judge/react to the text without any knowledge of or contact with the author or the context it was crafted in. Indeed, at the time of reading Lifting Spirits I didn’t have a clue what you may personally be or whether you were personally aro/ace or not and couldn’t make any assumptions either way.

There’s, I guess, two main ways to look at this… the phantom was effectively aroace and there was never any evidence suggesting otherwise. But with blocked emotions removed, it turns out the man is not aroace. You can treat “the phantom” and “Lex” as two separate entities in this regard.

But the phantom didn’t completely lack emotions. If Lex is not aroace… It stands to reason that EVEN IF there never was any evidence to suggest the phantom was anything but aroace, there was still the potential for small, limited amounts of evidence that he wasn’t to occur, even if such a thing did not happen to occur when he was the phantom. Which would make the phantom technically not aroace(?) but he simply never realised that. Hmm.

If there were a blanket consistency – if the phantom had experienced an extremely limited and probably outright warped sense of attraction or something like that – or if Lex was also aroace – then there wouldn’t be any “issue”. But as it is, it’s very easy to derive Unfortunate Implications from how it is set up, wherein the Emotionless Killer is aroace, but then he gets to experience proper emotions and becomes a “real person” who basically gets redeemed as that new person and all of a sudden… Only after becoming a “real” and “proper” human being he experiences attraction. It’s all too easy to feel like perhaps the message is that attraction is an integral part of the human experience – EVERYONE’S human experience.

And the flip that happens between the phantom and Lex in this realm further drove home what I perceived to be the massive distinction being made between the two and helped fuel much of my feelings surrounding what I discussed in the previous post. About how perhaps “the phantom” was being thrown under the bus to set up Lex as the good and better alternative. By treating them as two separate people, the connection is not TOO far away to feel as if the aroace aspect is attached to the phantom as part of what gets “thrown under the bus”, inherently attached to a villain seeing as it does not get carried over, inherently attached to emotionlessness – something necessary to be “cast aside” in order to fully complete a transition into a redeemable and “complete” human being.

I do know that none of this was your intent, and I sensed at the time of reading that it was not the author’s active intent as well, but not having enough background context at the time, I couldn’t entirely dismiss the possibility that perhaps it was a possible unintended predisposition bleeding through – nothing malicious in the least, mind you. But perhaps a subconscious assumption that every human being feels attraction and… idk. I wanted to believe the best of the work and the author but it was just, at the very least, an unintended implication that I could not entirely ignore. Being ace myself, it kinda stung, although I did keep that to a minimum until I could actually have more context.

I’m glad for being able to have access to additional context so that I can enjoy the work as it is to the best extent – if, for example, I did not have access to any information or additional context whatsoever about the author and the background under which the work was crafted in, I wouldn’t have been able to entirely shake the discomfort and it’s something small that would have continued to bug me long after I’d finished reading, if only for the fact that I would never have been able to know for sure if the writer was actually dismissing something like asexuality or not.

And Conflicted Thoughts/Feelings once again because, if we step back for a moment and look at this particular narrative thread as it exists in Lifting Spirits and its conclusion as a whole, I AM happy for Lex, it’s great that he gets to have a love interest, it’s a great ship, and the concept of the former phantom becoming attracted to someone and getting a crush is so so great…

What it ultimately comes down to, is that even if you can read Unfortunate Implications into the text regarding the aroace business, any such implications were not your intent. I much prefer reading a text in the most charitable way possible to enjoy it to the fullest possible extent, so that’s what I’ve ultimately done, given additional background info.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 8

The complete role reversal of this chapter is so good… For months and months prior to ever beginning to read this series, I’d actually been working on a fanfic of my own, albeit for a different fandom. It also centres around inverted character dynamics and such as the central running theme to the extent that it’s even alluded to in the title… But this… The role reversal or transformation that Lifting Spirits centres around is so… It does it so damn well. Kind of makes me want to hold myself and my own fanfiction to a higher standard.

I had perhaps been a little bit suspicious of Benny prior to this chapter, but not much… And the end of the previous chapter had me VERY much like “OK… SOMETHING’S WRONG HERE… SOMETHING’S WRONG! WHAT IS THIS GUY’S DEAL?!” BUT omg this reveal

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 9

He’s the fourth heir to the lineage of De Killer, which means spilling blood is in his blood. It’s a shame, really, that he can’t stand the sight of it.

This chapter description is just so poetic. It’s like, the chapter description is not really separate from the fic itself – it’s just as artistically intertwined with the text. Absolutely GORGEOUS chapter description.

Oughhhhh Benny’s backstory and just. His whole character and the internal conflicts that he has and EVERYTHING is just so damn compelling WOW!

The glimpses into Benny’s past and home life are such a fascinating look into how vastly different his frame of references are… How very unique his perspective and positioning in the world is.

The Phantom… Benjamin had heard of this man, of course. An international spy. One who was so wanted that his father had been hired by at least five clients.

F-FIVE CLIENTS?! AT LEAST? LEGEND.

Okay this is quite interesting to think about too because I always figured that Shelly would only ever take on one client and have one target at a time, so that he could devote his full attention to the task at hand and uphold his end of the contract – his client has faith in him to do a job and to do a job well, so I figured a single-handed focus would be part of that. Under normal circumstances, this would present no issue. Why would it? Shelly’s very good at his job and tracking down an assigned individual target wouldn’t be too difficult. My impression is that a job would generally take maybe 2-3 weeks from the time of meeting with the client and the deed getting done, unless it’s exceptionally easy and the person in question gets taken out within the week.

But obviously the phantom presents a clear problem to that operational method. Shelly’s left with a target he has little to no leads on, no physical description, no name beyond the title, who could be anywhere and anyone. Job like that’s gonna take a little bit longer than three weeks. But Shelly is nothing if not a professional, and he’s more than happy to honour his client’s wishes if they want this guy dead, and he’s certainly not gonna give up or back down from the request…! I wonder if Shelly was in the habit of taking on multiple clients at the time or if he was forced to break from his standard method of operation, cause if he has no leads he has to wait until one turns up/keep searching indefinitely. And it kinda puts a huge damper on business to not accept any new clients for years on end. Maaaaan not being able to take the phantom out quickly & efficiently must’ve bugged the HELL out of him too. He’s made a commitment to his client, his (first) client is trusting him to take this guy out, and YEARS pass and STILL it hasn’t been done. Wonder what kind of dynamic that would have caused between Shelly and the first client.

I have no real doubt that Shelly actually had enough money to put business on hold for a few years if that’s what it meant to track down the phantom, if he wanted to. But it’s just not practical if he genuinely has 0 leads to go on for months on end, it makes more sense to be doing stuff in the meantime. PLUS, part of it would also be to ensure that the de Killer name does not fall into disuse and remains prominent in the minds of the public. To disappear for years only for calling cards to start showing up again… It just wouldn’t look particularly good for The Brand I suppose? The general public wouldn’t know the reason for the silence.

There’s not only that, but he accepts requests from multiple clients for the same target, hugely increasing his payout for a single job. I would have thought it’s possible that were someone to make a request that’s already been made, Shelly might be like “Ah, actually, you can’t select this particular individual”. And if years have passed with no success it begins to raise questions about the “ethics” of accepting further requests for the same person if part of the payment is being made in advance, which I’m sure it is. But then again – I’m sure there was no doubt in Shelly’s mind that he’d actually get him in the end. The length of time that passed didn’t matter. The job would be done, and he was never going to give up. He had multiple clients depending on him, after all.

I guess every time he got another Phantom request he’d sigh and internally be like “ADD THIS CLIENT TO THE LIST I SUPPOSE…”

Client: I want you to take out the phantom

Shelly, internally: Get in line

Dsjsdjh

Really though I’m very sure that the phantom’s difficulty to track down would have irked Shelly to no end. Not that he would necessarily let such sentiments show externally.

And while I’m speaking about this, I guess I will also address Benny being his son here as well. My reaction REALLY was “HIS FATHER??? HIS FATHER????”

I’ve never played DGS and I know there’s de Killer stuff going on in those game(s) and I don’t know if any light is shed in that series on how the lineage works – hm! It’s interesting to think about. One of the theories I’ve seen proposed is that the new de Killer establishes themselves as such by successfully taking out the previous de Killer – no familial relation. That has logistical issues of its own however but it was kind of the default idea that I’d gone with as I hadn’t really seen any others discussed.

Shelly’s unique job and his intense dedication to said job makes it very VERY hard for me to picture him not only establishing a relationship with someone but also fathering a child with someone… It’s quite hard for me to picture how it would work. How it would look in practice. And of course, in the Benny flashbacks, there is no mention of a mother. So I was a little bit like ????? on that front. And then you get the reveal practically at the VERY end of the fic that Benny is adopted, which makes plenty of sense. It is hard for me to picture Shelly as a father but I CAN see him adopting, caring for and raising an adopted child. A child that is to continue the proud de Killer heritage.

THE FACT THAT SOMEONE GOT MISTAKENLY SHOT BECAUSE THEY WERE ASSUMED TO BE THE PHANTOM BUT WEREN’T… OOF. Hope Shelly didn’t prematurely celebrate on that one. He might’ve already enlisted three clients wanting the phantom gone by that point and thought that he could FINALLY collect the rest of whatever money they owed him from them – that he could FINALLY reassure them that the guy was finally flippin’ DEAD. Perhaps only for the phantom to show up AGAIN some time later. (Shelly doing refunds? Dsjksdkj). Ok but on a serious note – I know he would’ve probably known it was not the phantom either immediately after/soon after the guy was shot. There’s things like No Mask and whatnot and probably the aftermath would have made it obvious it was the wrong person without the phantom needing to show up on Shelly’s radar once again. But OOF.

In March, a man had come to see Ben ‘Benny’ Volent, seeking counseling. A man who bore the name of Bobby Fulbright.

WHEN THIS REALISATION HIT ME… OH MY GOD? OH MY GOD? BOBBY FULBRIGHT HAD BEEN UNLOADING THE TRAUMA OF WHAT HE SAW… ONTO THE SON OF THE VICTIM! I CANNOT. THAT IS… NOT GOOD. Being so close to the murder victim can compromise the therapist’s ability to assist the patient at hand, so… conflict of interest! Benny had to sit there and listen to recounts that would have deepened his OWN pain. Bro I am SO sorry. WHAT a punch this was.

Agent Lang had mentioned a move to the federal prison right in front of Benny.

NO JOKE but back when that scene originally occurred I was just like “UMM should they REALLY be discussing this while the therapist is there?” Because I had found Benny to be a LITTLE bit potentially suspicious and. Hmm!

OKAY THE FUNNIEST PART – OR RATHER – THE MOST WACK PART OF THIS ENTIRE SITUATION IS JUST HOW MANY LEVELS OF “CROSSES THE LINE TWICE” IT IS.

Like. The realisations started pouring in for me, one after the other. First it was like “um, Benny counselling Bobby considering the circumstances is a conflict of interest that can potentially compromise his ability to remain objective and properly assist Bobby’s recovery”. THEN, hilariously enough, I was like “UM, IT IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL FOR BENNY TO ACT AS LEX’S THERAPIST – EXTREME CONFLICT OF INTEREST SEEING AS THE PHANTOM KILLED BENNY’S FATHER AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED PERSONAL BIASES TO GET IN THE WAY WITH HOW YOU SEE THE PATIENT”. This was coupled with how… awkward I found it earlier on for Bobby to even suggest, however jokingly, to Lex that Benny was single – how iffy it was for Lex to have developed feelings for Benny (cause if you got feelings for ur therapist that’s bad news for the therapy and Lex even seems to know this) or the possibility that perhaps it was on some level reciprocated, which would be highly unprofessional and further detrimental to the therapist-patient relationship.

BUT THEN I REALISED THIS WAS ALL MOOT AND COMPLETELY BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER ALL BY:

BENNY WAS TRYING TO KILL LEX THE WHOLE TIME ANYWAY.

So LITERALLY WHO CARES about conflict of interest or “professional conduct” here, I’M PRETTY SURE IT IS NOT IN THE LINE OF A THERAPIST’S WORK TO BE ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL YOUR PATIENT.

And all I could do was laugh. This is the kind of crosses-the-line-twice funny, there’s just SUCH a cluster of professional breaches going on that it is OFF THE CHARTS and loops back around to being hilarious. You can’t even criticise ANYTHING specific about Benny’s conduct, there’s no point, because it is so BLATANTLY and obviously out of line, professionally and legally speaking, in its ENTIRETY. And then you realise his credentials were faked to begin with too, even though he’s genuinely studied the profession and is good at what he does. He’s walking around with faked qualifications ANYWAY.

Lex and Benny’s patient-therapist dynamic was stuffed to HIGH hell, inherently, far before it ever began. It was already compromised beyond belief. THE GUY’S QUALIFICATIONS AREN’T EVEN 100% LEGIT… >failed step one. It is SO wild and subsequently funny as a result. Benny got built up as such a good therapist too, and don’t get me wrong, he does seem to actually be good at what he does as I said. But then you go ahead and reveal all of this about him and it’s sooo… omg

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 10

Simon was about to turn away when he thought he saw it. Just for a fraction of a second. Were Alexander’s lips about to quirk into a victorious smirk? …No, that was ridiculous.

OOOHH MY GOOOOOD I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS I SWEAR TO GOD………… I swear to god. Acting skills WAY too strong. He’s still got it. This man is way too powerful/skilled for his own good I swear to god.

Yes, he successfully got Benny to leave and he got out of the ordeal of being held at gunpoint unscathed. But he still had been terrified when going through that. Regardless of how things turned out it makes sense for Lex to be in shock and still be working out some of that fear. Because he HAD been genuinely terrified. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he is genuinely a little in shock during this scene but oh my god.. Because it makes sense for him to still be jittery and then I just. LEX. KINDA HATE THAT I MAYBE GOT A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE STILL BEING SHAKEN MAKES SENSE BUT ALSO CONFUSED AT THE EXTENT. On first and second readthrough.

Can’t really say too much else about this chapter right now it’s just sooo intense and riveting gosh.

For a split second, it seemed like Fulbright was so overcome with emotion he might try to pull Alexander into a hug as well. Luckily, Lang cleared his throat in such a loud manner that it was obvious he did so on purpose.

LANG HOW COULD YOU. “LUCKILY” MY FOOT.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 11

His license was most likely a fake. Would any report compiled by him be worth a damn? And to think, Bobby Fulbright had spoken so highly of him.

WAIT I WAS ONLY JUST SAYING THIS EARLIER SDKSDKNS

Hey. I obviously knew this Mirage scene was coming this time around and yet it managed to somehow sneak up on me anyway. When I got up to it and read through it I just outright started crying. I did not cry on the first readthrough, I was completely dry-eyed. I GOT SUPER ATTACHED TO AND MORE EMOTIONAL OVER MIRAGE ON MY SECOND READTHROUGH OF THIS SERIES FOR A REASON.

Oh, something else that struck me on first readthrough about this scene was… The phantom always EASILY felt to me the far more “bad” person compared to Mirage. When compared to the phantom, Mirage always felt… well, it was easy for me to forget that she’s also done terrible things, that she’s also a criminal. She naturally just seemed like the waay better person – with SOME amount of a moral compass. So it was odd to suddenly have her being in the same room as Lex, no longer being contrasted against the phantom, but contrasted against Lex instead… Lex seems to actually have a much more proper moral compass compared to her now. He’s actually filled with remorse and regrets.

Mirage… still chose to kill people. She’s still herself, and that self is someone who didn’t have a bone sliver preventing her from understanding how much of a powerful impact death can have. It was odd… Lex knows internally how bad killing people is now. Mirage most likely still doesn’t really know… not only that, but… he would know that she doesn’t? I don’t know how to explain what I’m getting at here, but yeah.

Also:

“Why did you ask to see me?” he found himself asking. “…Why do you care?” She giggled, the sound of it rather strained. “Because we’re friends, you idiot.” “We’re not…-”

Me:

“You’d better pray the Phantom’s retrial leads to the death penalty. I’m being released next year, but I wouldn’t mind being tossed right back in here if it means I got to strangle Metis’s killer with these two hands.”

…N-NEXT YEAR?! BUT THAT’S… SO SOON… SOONER THAN I… THOUGHT… I FIGURED SHE HAD LIKE… MAYBE ANOTHER TWO YEARS LEFT… I DIDN’T REMEMBER HER SAYING IT’S NEXT YEAR.

[Thinks about this line and then Tracking Ghosts]

Oh my god… Can it PLEASE at least be the second half of the year I’m dying here… Like I KNEW she had to be released from prison eventually and. Yeah. I JUST THOUGHT WE HAD MORE TIME.

You know what’s funny? This line 100% didn’t faze me on first readthrough. Ahahaha. Why should it have? “You’d better pray the Phantom’s retrial leads to the death penalty” was, after all, my own train of thought at the time… HDHDFH. I was just kinda [nods] “at least someone around here’s got the right idea.” …AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

You completely missed me on the first go, but second time’s a charm. Ya got me. Ya got me with this line this time around. I am worried. :’)

#long post

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 6 of my commentary/reaction of the fanfiction series Phantoms & Mirages by @renegadewangs And uh – there’s actually a small (but relevant) commentary on Turnabout to the Past in this post too… :P

Also looks like I’d better start organising the links to the previous posts more properly, so:

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 |

So picking up with the same chapter, swiftly and subtly over the course of the fic, the phantom has been dramatically repositioned by the narrative. And now, all of a sudden, as the connections get made… Just after being shown Actual Child Phantom and having that sympathetic image fresh in our minds, the narrative suddenly goes “Haha! So anyway! Bobby and Simon parallel the phantom’s parents! :D” and throughout this chapter, because of the severity of the phantom’s injury and their weakened state, Bobby and Simon have been forced to make sure that he, well, doesn’t die. So now all of the sudden the phantom is kinda like… their child that they need to look after…

It’s almost as if… the narrative is equating the phantom with being a child… their child… And that alone is… really, really amusing. It was very funny to me. It was just about hilarious. It was the best thing. I couldn’t get enough of it. You actually managed to construct these parallels wherein the narrative positions the reader to see a direct parallel between, on some level, this fully grown man guilty of countless murders and a child. To see him as a kind of child that needs vital assistance from Bobby and Simon, rendered momentarily weak and helpless by circumstance.

Time and time again, the phantom has been built up by the series as extremely intimidating, scary, DANGEROUS, what have you, but in this moment, in one fell swoop, at least in terms of how I saw it, the narrative appears to dish out a kind of retribution. The phantom’s character is, to an extent, made fun of in the best possible way, amidst his transformation into protagonist and beginning to grab at the sympathies and concerns of the reader, Bobby and even Simon. Because however much our perspectives might have shifted somewhat at this point, no one is under any true illusion here: we all know that the phantom is a colossal jerk who has done terrible, terrible things. For the narrative to point at him, an adult, a criminal and a murderer, and say to the reader, “oh, just look at this poor little child” is on some level to outright mock him, and to strip away much of the character’s ability to intimidate in any real sense at this point. It is also a repositioning that mainly only the reader is privy to; he is not being made fun of directly in the story or being subjected to any true retribution directly over this outside of the karmic frustrations and indignities of being temporarily unable to properly fight back against Bobby and Simon’s assistance. But Bobby and Simon are not provided with the insight into the direct parental parallels. No, the “lol the phantom is a child” perspective namely resides with the reader, now, and its as if we are given every permission through it to dunk on him, as he should be dunked on, ‘cause he sucks and ruined lives lol.

The flashback to the phantom when he was a small child was nothing but angsty, make no mistake, but that does not make any narrative plays on his current adult self being a child any less amusing, and vice versa – it doesn’t in any way take away from the horror and awfulness of the child abuse flashback.

The phantom’s trauma is not funny, nor is his suffering – rather, the narrative positioning him as Bobby and Simon’s child is.

I also want to expand a little on how Simon assaulting the phantom was to an extent mirroring him as a small child being assaulted by his abusive father, although I touched on it briefly in my previous post.

In one situation, the phantom is an innocent, helpless, actual child, just doing his own thing… In the other, he is, well, the opposite of “innocent”, as well as actively baiting and anticipating the attack. And Simon striking out, naturally, is seen by the reader as being so much more justified. It is the same person – the phantom – being attacked in both situations, but different in the ways I’ve iterated. And the attacker could not be more different either, with such a very, very different connection and history with the phantom. And the reader sees the two situations as they occur in such different lights.

And yet still, there manages to be a handful of similarities between the two occurrences, such as the phantom not fighting back in either.

It’s so interesting to think about.

Not to mention that this series has been saying over and over again, he’s a monster, look at this monster, what a MONSTER… and then flips the script, everything over and puts that word into this new light.

Continuing on…

“Lex Luster… He was killed.”

Me reading this for the first time: “LOL nice try author, but I know he isn’t really dead. This is just one of your bait-and-switches, your red herrings isn’t it? Let’s see… wasn’t the phantom only just saying that this Lex Luster would take advantage of the break-in to garner sympathy and spread lies? Well, he probably had his sights set on an even greater plan. He must have faked his own death in some kind of clever elaborate ploy that will only serve to benefit him!”

The narrative as it continued to chug along, with no hints of a sudden He’s Alive reveal emerging: Uh, no he’s… he’s really dead, dude.

Me: “…What? But that makes literally no sense. I… I know that Lex Luster is supposed to be an important character. Isn’t he supposed to like, be a protagonist in future or something? I guess not, unless it’s through flashbacks, or maybe this really IS all we get of the character… So like, wait, that’s all we get of the “Lex Luster” character? Were… Were we supposed to care about that guy?! Because I’m sorry but… I really don’t see it. That guy who just got killed off, Lex Luster? I didn’t care about him. I’m sorry. (Maybe even though he wasn’t featured much, maybe he’s a bit of an Ensemble Darkhorse and/or the author had his character fleshed out behind the scenes in ways they didn’t get to showcase?? Hmm… Well either way… At least based on what I know about the guy… Don’t see why he was important tbqh).”

…WELL.

Also, I love the three of them just sitting down and playing a little blame-shifting game over a murder. Gosh I love this trio.

Haunted Specters, Chapter fourteen

“… I don’t… I…” The Phantom pressed his palm against the side of his head, leaning forward in his seat. “How is this possible? Who would dare impersonate me? Who would dare use that face?”

1. The phantom being at a loss for words – I love it

2. HE SOUNDS SO FULL OF HIMSELF… THIS MAN WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE NO SENSE OF SELF… So imperious… “WHO would DARE impersonate me?!” Get a load of this guy! :D

3. I honestly didn’t think you could do another kind of “Bobby impersonates the phantom” in terms of ironic phantom impersonation reversals on the same kind of level. I was wrong. “Someone impersonates the phantom using the phantom’s real face” is a scenario that had never, ever crossed my mind before. BUT IT’S SO GOOD. IT’S SO GOOD. Delicious. The phantom gets a nice big taste of his own medicine.

4. Also, this curveball felt Ghost Trick levels of mindscrewy when first revealed. XD

[…] the ones who’d been in the courtroom the moment the Phantom was attacked by a sniper […]

Oh you mean Bobby’s thera- okay I’ll shut up now. He just gets so many early references okay.

“I’ve lost track. However, there are two names that I’m sure you hope to hear. Calisto Yew and Shih-na.”

YES. YES. YES. CHEERING SOUND EFFECT Y’ALL, SHE MADE IT! SHE MADE IT TO THE NARRATIVE

It had almost felt like the narrative was really dancing around her… It felt like a “dropping-references-but-no-role-in-the-story” type deal but like, really pushing it, with maybe one too many references... And I’ve read more than one phantom fic where the phantom had links to her… But I just told myself “well, not everyone’s gonna go that route. Duh. And it makes sense in a realistic way. I mean, it’s highly unlikely that Calisto/Shih-Na and the phantom would know each other or have ever interacted with each other. So I certainly respect the author’s decision to not include her at all in the story and have it so the two don’t have any ties, after all it can be seen as a little cliché and the author may want to avoid that, as a decision it’s bold and respectab- WAIT NEVER MIND SHE’S HERE SHE’S ARRIVED SHE’S AWESOME THANK YOU”

And then I’m like… WAIT… SHE’S KNOWN AS MIRAGE IN THIS SERIES?!

SHE WAS THERE… THE WHOLE TIME… RIGHT IN THE TITLE.

Me, a FOOL, reading the series Phantoms and Mirages: It kind of sucks that she isn’t in this because she’s such a great and fun character, but I certainly respect the author’s decision

GOOOSH…

I swear I’m confident I would have been more inclined to check out this series prior to this year if I had actually known this little fact.

AND ALSO????

Okay, okay… and like… Teenage phantom flashback??? Was NOT expecting it. It was an even greater shift. The interaction with Mirage… the banter, the neutrality of it… & the fact that this fic actually gives him someone who had affection for him like this way back in his past, despite his emotionlessness? It’s ah, humanising? Fleshing him out? I was finding it hard to believe that the story was really treating the phantom’s character in this way… Because it felt way too good to be true. Because I probably just had my phantom bias goggles on. Because of the way the last fic had treated the phantom’s character, I also found it hard to believe. But more and more, I could not deny it… I was really starting to nod along and go, hey. It’s not just me. The author is pulling these strings on purpose, constructing the character and the narrative in this way, in this light…

“Agent Fulbright. Why does it strike me as if you’ve got a dead animal on your face?”

Aww man, this is harsher in hindsight given the later reveal that Bobby’s so self-conscious of it… But this exchange following this line/the line itself was super funny

“Of course. It’s a method that was perfected over fifteen years ago. I believe the Hotti Clinic is one of many locations around the world that specializes in facial reconstruction.”

NICE ONE.

Me: that sounds a little farfe- Oh wait nvm that has a very solid basis in actual ace attorney canon.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 15

Perhaps, in a way, the spy even meant to protect a gentle person like Sam from a gunshot wound.

Hmm, food for thought! Oh, protect from a gunshot wound like Simon's inclined to protect Sam from risk of electric shock later?

“A need to craft?” “It keeps the headaches at bay. Aside from that, this has always been my preferred pastime. If I were to have something of a hobby, this would be it.” A hobby… How peculiar. The Phantom had shown a tendency to adopt the hobbies of his personas, from fixing clocks to pursuing justice, yet here he was with a pastime of his own. A rather disturbing pastime, yet a pastime nonetheless.

And you gave?? The phantom a kind of hobby??? The stuff only starts pilin’ on after this, let me tell you.

And this whole scene too is just… Simon talking to the phantom neutrally. It’s…!

And it’s so cool that we basically get to see child phantom pull off the equivalent of his Dual Destinies jump in this chapter.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 16

“What a ridiculous question. It’s because I am male.” “Identifying yourself as male implies identity, Phantom.”

I HADN’T BEEN EXPECTING THE NARRATIVE TO ADDRESS THIS I HADN’T BEEN EXPECTING THE NARRATIVE TO ADDRESS THIS. This was SO great and refreshing to see, especially since it had been a tiny little thing bothering me somewhat from the very start. I’ve already brought it up more than once in these commentaries. You might have noticed, but although I use he/him for your version of the phantom, I tend to use they/them when talking about the phantom in general.

It wasn’t always like that with me, though! When I first finished Dual Destinies I was constantly using he/him. I mean, it’s what the phantom is referred to with consistently in-game, after all. And I never reconsidered it at all until I saw it brought up/discussed among other ace attorney fans as an issue. But even then, my perspective was pretty much the same as Pengychan’s – there’s, if I recall correctly, an author’s note in Turnabout to the Past addressing the pronouns issue, where it’s stated something like “well, the phantom lacks a sense of self to the extent that they don’t have the self-reflection required to challenge the notion + they don’t care/aren’t bothered by it. They just stick with he/him because it’s the default that gets applied and don’t have enough sense of self to even question it.” And I couldn’t have agreed more. And I still agree? It’s a completely reasonable and justified perspective/interpretation.

But over the years, I’ve just slipped more and more into the they/them habit to the extent that it started feeling more “correct” to me. I’ve read really really great fic where the phantom is afab and they/them is consistently used by the narrative the entire way through. All of a sudden, he/him phantom started feeling kind of jarring to read, even when it had felt like the most natural version to me in the past. It was almost like I started becoming more fond of they/them phantom hahaha. But both sets of pronouns have equal claim. (And I tend to use they/them for general, all-encompassing phantom because it includes everyone’s interpretations and still doesn’t exclude he/him interpretations. So it captures ‘em all!).

“Effort? In what way?” “Women need to watch their posture. Their nails. Their hair. Their appearance is always judged.[…]”

Okay honestly, looking back, I think this was another statement I looked way too much into at the time and misconstrued. The brevity, and therefore lack of specification, leaves something to be desired to me here…

For example: Nails…? That feels like it reaches straight into the realm of stereotypical for me. Obviously – I mean, obviously he’s making a comically HUGE generalisation here, that’s just a given. Maybe the “nails” comment is more about… “some women” idek but when I first read this, it kinda felt like he was sitting there going “being a woman is so difficult, always needing to maintain perfect, painted nails blah blah blah…” Like dude. It’s nails. Nobody cares. If a woman isn’t preoccupied/obsessed with manicures or whatever, there tends to be 0 difference between men and women when it comes to nails and how they are maintained. And hair, too, it’s like… myself and plenty of women I’m sure hardly give our hair much thought at ALL in day to day life, even if on average the focus may be a little bit more than it is for men.

I realise that I probably read this the wrong way though, and what he’s actually saying may be more akin to “regardless of how a woman personally feels about her appearance, and how little she personally cares about maintaining her appearance, that appearance is still going to be more heavily judged”??? But that still seems kinda… Like that doesn’t really impact much how difficult it is to portray a woman. That’s only a comment on how other people would treat them… Like there’s a greater risk involved if the disguise itself is more closely examined cause he doesn’t want to be discovered, but…

Another thing though is he’s probably making general comments that aren’t supposed to be particularly accurate and/or specific. I just look into things and make assumptions way too much. :P

Like the one thing I’ll give him is the whole posture aspect… to an extent. Societal influences/expectations DO go both ways and men have their own expectations to comply with, even in the realm of posture. But I guess the takeaway here is that for the most part, the scrutiny for men is less + the posture of “men” is often stuff that would come more naturally to anyone, men or women. It’s women who, when it comes to femininity, tend to be required to actually modify in ways that don’t come as naturally. And also a lot of “men’s posture” is seen as default and/or they have more claim to default posture.

Even if he has some kind of a point… What he’s saying sounded, to me, ridiculously exaggerated. At the time on the first readthrough I interpreted him as kind of saying “as a woman, like ALL women, you have to be constantly aware of yourself, carefully adhering to femininity in everything you do in unnatural, practised ways.” And like… HAHAHA… nah? Women tend to just live their lives and most of the time they are acting in ways that come naturally. But there are times when this kind of pressure comes into play but not to that extent. Not constantly. It obviously depends on a given woman’s circumstances though… Because I’m sure for some, life circumstances do require putting on a constant show of hyper-femininity. Which would tend to be… exhausting.

And yes, women’s appearance and behaviour is subject to scrutiny by society, and such scrutiny, and being aware you are under such scrutiny, can modify one’s behaviour to the extent that it is less natural. But at THE SAME TIME this also struck me as being kinda bogus. “Women need to watch their posture” uh… I guess? To an extent, in that society reckons there are certain “ladylike” ways to sit and conduct oneself, but those instances are still quite specific and are not necessarily a CONSTANT, FELT presence… pretty sure most women going about their day are just living their life. Well, you could also say that being “trained” by society into conducting yourself in a certain way and having a certain posture and what have you so that it becomes what comes naturally and is no longer noticeable is also a factor.

There are valid points in most of what he’s saying, exaggerated or no. For a variety of reasons, portraying a woman comes with difficulties.

But also…

In a way, that justification struck Simon as a rather weak excuse to cover any traces of true identity.

The whole thing is that there is something buried away. And this is one form of that something bleeding through. The text lampshades the flimsy nature of the excuses, hints at this.

So at the end of the day… There is actual narrative reason in this series for the phantom being he/him from the beginning. It also arguably allows for a smoother transition between “the phantom” and Lex later on. So yeah… I’m fully on board.

Also like… Just like how women are people with a huge variety and spectrum of personalities… Men are equally varied and, depending on the personality, can potentially be very difficult & demanding to portray (like you know… BOBBY – original Bobby). Hands down there are men way more difficult to portray than an “average” woman, no question. PLUS… the whole self-awareness demands don’t apply when the phantom kinda needs to always be self-aware of his every action when in a persona regardless. Especially the more difficult and demanding ones. SO THE TAKEAWAY HERE at least for me definitely is… The phantom is a big dummy in denial about having some kind of self and the fact that this self has a sense of “maleness” attached to it.

Or perhaps the Phantom truly was looking at the matter so objectively that he couldn’t grasp the difference between biological and psychological. The difference between sex and gender.

Simon, pulling up a helpful and informative tumblr post: “You see, there’s actually a difference between the two!”

“…Simon Blackquill. You’ve no need to lecture me on such things, as I have done far more research than you on matters such as these. I know what applies and does not apply to me, such as the simple fact that I am aroace.”

“Don’t. Odd as it is, it’s grown on me.” A moment’s pause, then Bobby snorted. “It’s grown on me too. Literally.”

xDDD

Haunted Specters, Chapter 18

The only thing he could take comfort in was the fact that Sam Specter looked far more exhausted than he felt. It had to do with the recent migraine attack, no doubt.

Using “Sam Specter” but meaning the phantom… Sam Specter is supposed to be an act. Sam Specter has been said to always look tired. Yet Simon is looking at him here, seeing the phantom underneath, but still using “Sam Specter”…!

Not that either of them could approach him to ask whether he was holding up alright

APPROACH WHO? ASK WHO? Simon is referring to “Sam” but he knows that Sam is an act, a facade and there is no point… This is just a hypothetical sentence though; it doesn’t say that he wants to check on him… And even if he does it could be rationalised away with “well he needs to remain intact for the plan to go off without a hitch” but…!

Bobby seemed genuinely concerned for Sam. Seemed to be genuinely interested in the words of someone who wasn’t even real. Perhaps, after two weeks, the line between the Phantom and Sam Specter was beginning to blur for him as well. Perhaps he was foolish enough to believe that due to the Phantom’s utter devotion to his personas, Sam was just as real as any other human.

YOOOOOO

Same though. SAME. Because for so long I thought the author didn’t care too much about the phantom, I put way too much stock in Sam. “The narrative wants us to care about Sam, not the phantom. Because the other way around is too good to be true… right?” I also thought maybe Simon was still slightly underestimating the phantom’s level of self-deception at the time as well.

But guess what? Sam is a trap. You find yourself growing attached or caring about Sam in ANY way, you are in a roundabout way caring about the phantom. The person just behind the façade. And once you’re in too deep, all that’s left is for the façade to be yanked away. A sleight of hand wherein you realise oh, oh no…

Over the past few chapters, there’s been a sudden rush of information and situations that just, it all happens so fast, it seems.

“That’s why you need to remind Agent Fulbright not to get too attached to his new friend. You and I both know there’s only one acceptable ending to this sorry tale.” Only one acceptable ending… Execution. […] Either way, the Phantom’s fate was unavoidable. Unavoidable and of his own choosing. Death.

And when I read this, I grew very serious. I nodded to myself in complete agreement and internally said, in all seriousness… “yes.”

They were to head for Fulbright’s apartment, a location that was already known to the Phantom either way. He’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t want the spy knowing about his own apartment- Aura’s apartment- in order to have at least one safe location should things go awry.

Huh… I guess what it comes down to here is the phantom’s lack of memories… Because he should know about Simon’s apartment. But he wouldn’t now, due to the fall…

Haunted Specters, Chapter 19

“Nice beard!” she remarked, grinning so widely Simon wondered whether it might hurt her face. “Are you going for the middle-aged Obi Wan Kenobi look?”

THIS IS ATHENA’S SECOND STAR WARS REFERENCE IN THIS SERIES… what a tiny yet consistent running thread.

“Sam,” Bobby called, hoping to get his attention. In retrospect, that’d been a bad move. Sam started so badly that he accidentally shook the pocket watch, sending tiny gears and screws all over the floor. A few words of Cohdopian escaped him- perhaps curses that Simon couldn’t understand.

SDKBDSJBK HOW MUCH OF THIS REACTION IS GENUINE… PLEASE TELL ME AT LEAST SOME OF IT

He drew a steadying breath and turned to face them, eyes narrowing when his gaze fell on Athena. For a moment, there was nothing. Then his expression brightened to the point where Simon found it almost suspicious. Sam pushed himself to his feet with a flourish and approached her. He prattled something in Cohdopian and leaned forward in a bit of a bow. Then he took Athena’s hand with his own, pressing his lips against the back of it, causing her to giggle.

ASKJBADLBJADKLNADKNL?

OKAY THIS IS! HAHAHA, LET’S UNPACK THIS

I JUST… I

1- The phantom knows DAMN well who Athena is

2- The phantom ACTIVELY DECIDES to do this. Not only that, but he ACTIVELY DECIDES, on Sam’s behalf – a real person who used to be alive that he stole the identity of - that this is how Sam Specter would react to meeting Athena. That Sam would treat her like this and have this opinion of her. (Or, who knows… Maybe Sam just tends to be this way towards women in general and Athena isn’t getting singled out…?)

3- I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE HE DOES THIS OMG

4- HE KNOWS FULL WELL HOW MUCH THIS WOULD IRK SIMON AND BOBBY.

5- HE OBVIOUSLY HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING FOR CERTAIN THAT THIS IS HOW SAM WOULD REACT TO ATHENA, SO

6- THE PHANTOM IS A GODDAMN TROLL, ‘NUFF SAID

“What did he say?” “He uh… He said that she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen,” Bobby rolled his eyes, mouth drawn in bitter distaste. Words failed Simon completely. His mouth opened, then closed itself. He gave Sam’s shoulder one last squeeze in warning before releasing him. This time, not even Fulbright seemed entirely willing to overlook Sam’s behavior, as he was watching the man closely as well.

Haaahahah. You did it. You actually put in brief joke phantom/Athena.

You know what makes this better? Much later, way after this scene, prior to the end of Vanquishing Mirages, I messaged another one of my friends basically saying “Hey… So I haven’t finished it yet so I can’t say for absolute certain… But so far, this may just be one of the best fanfiction series I have ever read.”

He replied something akin to, “LOL, yeah, imagine if you kept reading on only for it to suddenly turn into romantic Athena/phantom? Bet you’d kinda regret saying that then.”

To which I was able to gleefully and jokingly reply, “…Oh, it’s been done.”

Haunted Specters, Chapter 20

He considered following anyway, allowing the Phantom to suffer for the sake of stopping Fulbright from doing something foolish, but then… It wouldn’t be the Phantom who would suffer. Most likely, it’d be Sam Specter, who had nothing to do with any of this.

BUT THE F

SAM ISN’T- THE PHANTOM IS-

Nevermind.

“If he can feel emotions now, maybe we can straighten them out! Maybe he can be rehabilitated to-”

Me: Bobby, no. Don’t.

Okay, so when I read this… the prospect of the emotions getting “straightened out” was something that piqued my interest. It was something I knew I would like to see. But to whatever extent they could be “straightened out”, although I figured it would be fascinating to see, I figured it would be very limited. Even something limited would be quite significant, but…

…I still agreed with Simon. It would ultimately change nothing in the grand scheme of things. That man – the phantom – would still have to die in the end. He needed to die. That’s the only way this could end.

I wouldn’t have denied wanting to see his emotions get straightened out before he meets his end though, however limited the results may be. I felt the same tug Bobby did – I wanted him to be helped. But helped prior to an inevitable death.

Let us return to this earlier segment that I commented on:

”[…] You and I both know there’s only one acceptable ending to this sorry tale.” Only one acceptable ending… Execution. […] Either way, the Phantom’s fate was unavoidable. Unavoidable and of his own choosing. Death.

And I’m going to expand a little more on what I essentially thought when I first read it beyond my simple “yes” that I supplied before:

“Absolutely. No way out of it. So narrative, make it so. He has to die. I’ll be waiting. I will hold you to your word. Everyone from Bobby to the narrative and the reader have been getting awfully familiar with and caring for the phantom with the new sympathetic slant the story’s been taking. Almost suspiciously so. But it changes nothing. He must die. It is the only acceptable ending to this story. Tragic? Sure. But there’s no real alternative. None.”

You might be a little like “whoa, whoa – hold up. Isn’t he your favourite character?! The whole reason you started this series?”

To which I’d reply: “Absolutely. And he needs to be executed and/or die, if this is the route the narrative ultimately seems to be heading in.”

“…By all means, allow Bobby and Simon to become unwittingly invested. Make the phantom sympathetic. Pile on the angst. But in the end…? Execution. Death”

Why? ...I’d been hurt before.

And to understand this oddly firm stance… Apologies, but I need to briefly talk a little bit about Turnabout to the Past. XD

Turnabout to the Past is a narrative that is constantly building up to the phantom’s inevitable execution – or rather, Robert LaRoche’s execution, by the end of it. We – the readers - grow to care. Simon grows to care. Athena grows to care. About him. This care, and LaRoche’s changes and regaining of identity, do not grant him full redemption. He is still required to pay for his crimes. This never changes.

From the way the story is set up and construed, Robert LaRoche’s redemption actually hinges upon his execution. In an odd kind of way, although he can make progress towards redemption, full redemption cannot be granted until he is dead – regaining his identity, changing his behaviour, and having other characters become invested in him on its own is not enough, even though they are all contributing factors towards redemption. Full redemption is still withheld from him until his execution can be carried out.

Like many people who read Turnabout to the Past, I bawled my eyes out. The “execution” scene left me a complete and utter mess. The whole ending – all of it – just ruined me.

In the end, he cheats death. In doing so, he cheats himself out of a full, complete and proper redemption. It is a huge act of betrayal. He betrays Simon, he betrays Athena, he fundamentally betrays himself. He is forced to leave the Robert LaRoche he struggled so hard to regain behind once more.

Simon wanted him to face death. That’s what he wanted him to do from the beginning. That’s the promise between them. But he doesn’t. The promise is broken.

I felt betrayed by LaRoche, too. I cried so hard and so much at his “execution”. And for what?

As much as the execution scene wrecked me, as much as it hurt, as painful as it was, however much I was crying, it felt right. He had to die. This was what the entire fic had been building towards. It was “the only acceptable ending to this story”.

But he cheats death. And I felt betrayed, and I felt angry towards the character for doing something like this to me, to Athena, to Blackquill, to himself.

Athena and Blackquill are grieving. They are grieving over him. And for what? For what?! How could he do this? How could I forgive him? How could he not only betray Athena and Blackquill but also cause them so much pain and suffering – grief – in the process?! Grief based on a false premise. Grief for… For nothing.

…Inevitably, I got the hell over myself, and came back to read the super cool sequel. :P We wouldn’t have gotten such a cool sequel if it wasn’t for that betrayal…!

Obviously, this fic is not that fic. This series is very different, so the exact same rules do not, cannot apply. But I still had some baggage lying around, and I was essentially (unfairly) taking it out on this fic’s version of the phantom. “Well, someone has to die. LaRoche didn’t die. He cheated death. So this phantom isn’t allowed to. So don’t let him get away.”

Well obviously, you already know that I’m happy with how things turn out, so… It’s a foregone conclusion that this perspective changes at some point as this series continues!

Simon hadn’t bothered to bid him farewell. He hadn’t truly gotten along with Sam either way.

!!!!

Bobby looked torn for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure what to say or how to even say it. “… But don’t hurt her, okay? There’s no real reason to injure her, so… Don’t. And try not to get hurt yourself.” “Yes, mother,” the Phantom droned. Bobby didn’t reply.

YOU JUST COULD NOT RESIST MAKING THIS JOKE COULD YOU, and I absolutely can’t blame you. I LOVE it.

ALSO I’M JUST SDJDSJLNLNDS? This is supposed to be a sarcastic quip right? But I’m NOT SURE HOW MUCH SELF-AWARENESS THE PHANTOM HAS WHEN MAKING THIS JOKE…

Haunted Specters, Chapter 21

The… The confrontation between Mirage & the phantom… The phantom was always the one in control during the flashbacks with Mirage. He was always the one who had power over her, both in the sense that he is the one teaching her new skills and is therefore “in charge” and kinda of a higher rank, and he also wields power over her – unintentionally so – in the fact that she holds affection for him.

And now that’s turned on its head. The phantom is on his knees, powerless, grasping, begging. Mirage has all the power. Mirage is the one in control. Probably for, well, the first time ever, she’s actually seeing the phantom losing control, powerless, weak, she is wielding power over him.

So on the one hand, part of me is kinda like “yeah, show him who’s boss, show him what’s what, it’s your turn to be in control now!” But on the other hand I was like. “NOO MIRAGE I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL… WHY… I TRUSTED YOU… LOOK WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO MY FAVE… I THOUGHT YOU CARED?? HOW COULD YOU…” And ultimately, the second perspective won out.

Also, the casual way she talks about killing people coupled with how she treats the phantom towards the end of the scene is a reminder that, however much of a fun and exciting character she is, she is still a dangerous criminal involved in the facilitation of things like uh, HUMAN TRAFFICKING.

The Phantom had had another breakdown.

It started feeling like a running, constant occurrence at this point. Really felt like the characters could really start using one of these:

They’re definitely gonna have to reset it a few more times, too. :’D

SAM’S NOTE. SAM’S NOTE. OH NOOO. SAM’S NOTE. I AM FEELING KINDA SENTIMENTAL OVER A FICTIONAL FAKE PERSONA’S DEPARTURE FROM THE NARRATIVE GOD DAMMIT. How?!

Sam was a literary trap, aiding in dooming us all.

Towards the end, treating Sam Specter as a real person was no longer a knowing act of self-deception on Simon’s part, but had rather become a habit that he’d fallen into. A habit that comes awfully naturally now. One that he sometimes may not even be aware of, and sometimes may need to consciously wake himself up from.

The explanation that I’ve finally settled on… is that it was never about how “human” Sam is. Because Sam will always be artificial. He can never become 100% real or human. The real Sam is already dead and cannot be resurrected. It was never even about Sam. It had always been about the phantom. The phantom that was always hiding just underneath.

There’s something else, too, towards the end of this fic. Before, when the parents-and-their-child dynamic was set up, and the trio were all forced to live together in a temporary truce, I referred to it as a special liminal space wherein they were sectioned off from the rest of the characters and the rest of the world. In this strange little space, they and the reader had to ignore the extreme oddity of the circumstances to some degree in order to function properly and make sense of it. Simon and Bobby can tell themselves that this is only temporary, and that soon enough, everything can just go back to normal again once they abandon their little liminal space over in Cohdopia and everything wraps up. That is a false promise.

After an extended interval, their liminal space gets broken, intruded upon. First by Lang, who enters their odd little circle that is still being propped up. Then by Athena. And they return to America, too. They’re not in Cohdopia anymore in a secretive little apartment no one else knows about. The location changes. They’re not completely sectioned off from the other characters anymore. But things have changed. Things are changing. Bobby does not “snap out of it”. He only becomes more steadfast and entrenched in his support of the phantom. Simon is clearly, well…! He’s being influenced. And the phantom is still able to interact neutrally with the other members of the cast. The new light and perspective shed on him by the fic does not suddenly vanish, he doesn’t suddenly “change back” to whatever he seemed to be before. Of course not. There’s a line of continuity here, and the dynamic changes between the cast cannot be boxed away, sectioned off, erased.

The phantom’s child abuse flashback is a sudden, powerful jab that disarms the reader, however momentarily. Then there is parent-child dynamic in the current cast revealed. With the reader distracted like this, a sudden onslaught is unleashed in the chapters following. An onslaught of flashbacks, a whole host of neutral interactions the phantom is shown having, both in past and present. Neutral interactions, which on its own is quite a feat. Considering how, well, despicable he can be, HAS been. How he has always been “the enemy” before. And yet we are given so many neutral interactions. Not positive per se. Just… neutral. But that alone is enough. And in Mirage in the teen flashbacks, we actually get to see someone from the phantom’s past who cares about him. As a person. There’s other little things too, like the aforementioned sort-of hobby revealed. The flow, the outpouring of all these little things just starts and it does not stop. It will not stop. At the end of this fic, heading into the next one, we are already teetering on the edge of… Something. And it’s only going to increase in volume, become more palpable, grow stronger from here on out.

There’s also little scattered things here as well, like the phantom looking out for Bobby in his own way. And the mask… the mask that is not like the others. I feel that there have been many, many narrative sleights of hand that have come into play, subtle enough that it makes them difficult to document. And I can’t document them all, because there’s just so many.

And then in the epilogue, the bone sliver gets revealed, and it’s like HMM… HMMMM… Food for thought, folks. Food for thought!

…Oh and I forgot to comment on this under the appropriate chapter’s banner, but uh, I absolutely loved Bobby’s whole “call him back in fifteen minutes” exchange with Simon xDDD.

So that looks like Haunted Specters pretty much wrapped up, I think. Vanquishing Mirages up next!

#long post

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 13 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits: Part 11 Part 12

OH BOY we actually made it. Are we actually here? At the Lifting Spirits ending?! :O

It only took thirteen posts and thousands upon thousands upon thousands of words and a couple of AUs and fun off-topic detours but WE DID IT. But it was the journey that counts, not necessarily the destination, no? XD

It was only the three of them- Simon, Athena and Bobby himself who were visiting Lex. There were very few other people who would bother to pay their respects, Bobby supposed.

[…]

The ambassador was probably the only other person who’d visit the grave with honest intent.

I don’t… necessarily think that’s true, to be honest.

I have some thoughts about this that I won’t go into, but, there were many people deeply upset by the fake verdict in-universe.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 18

ascending.

I can’t it’s so much, the sweetness the…

”His identity was mine up until two months ago and it’ll continue to be mine whenever my uncle deems it time to take me out for some exercise.”

PALAENO OUT HERE GONNA TAKE LEX FOR WALKS LIKE A HECKIN’ DOG LOL? I love it.

While this was a suitable alternative to execution, in a way it felt like they were cheating.

Okay I really liked this line on first read honestly because. Yes.

Like, this ties in a huge amount to what I said in the last post. It… DID kind of feel like cheating to me back then? In the sense that this is such a wonderful, happy ending for everyone to the extent that it almost felt like it shouldn’t be possible given the past and the characters involved. It felt like a bit of a meta line? And I really don’t know if it was intended as such, that’s just how I interpreted/read it!

And these are the EXACT lines wherein, tied with the open acknowledgement of the inability to please everyone discussed in the last post, seriously made me embrace and adore this ending one thousand percent.

The “cheating” comment seriously resonated with me and just, by alluding to it feeling like cheating… to just embrace it… The open acknowledgement goes such a huge way. There doesn’t need to be any internal sense of dissonance whatsoever if the story is right there with you in terms of self-awareness.

By saying “not everyone can be satisfied with the ending” in and of itself allows me to be fully satisfied, and to no longer have to worry about the fact that it can’t please everyone, since the story is already aware of this and having pointed out that pleasing everyone isn’t possible anyway.

Mind you, my perspective now is somewhat more akin to hissing “no it’s not cheating back off this beautiful ending is 100% earned and righteous shhhhh”.

I… am really rendered speechless with some of the wonderfulness of this ending… And I’d actually... forgotten a lot of wonderful details too? Because I’d only read it through once before, and the fact that rereading the series to do these reviews has taken some time means the largest gap of time had passed between the first and second reading when it came to these last few chapters (making my memory of them the least fresh before reading through a second time). So the entire time prior to actually reading them once again, I’d been entirely going off memory of my first reading from like… a few months ago now, when discussing things with my friend(s) and thinking up scenarios. So, some things were like reading afresh and they just kinda outright killed me (in a good way) as if it was better than I had even remembered it being. Two examples of this are, 1. I could not recall with certainty an instance of Lex referring to Palaeno as “uncle”, and while reading through Lifting Spirits, noticed that even after the surgery he was still just referring to him as “ambassador”. Which, made me wonder if he had… So, suffice it to say… Reading this ending and seeing how he continuously refers to him as “uncle” & “my uncle” SO many times in such a short timespan, blows me away, and WOW!! WARMTH & LOVELY EMOTIONS ABOUND. 2. THIS IS KIND OF SKIPPING AHEAD TO THE LAST CHAPTER I GUESS BUT SIMON OUTRIGHT ACKNOWLEDGES THEM AS FRIENDS!!!!!!!! PLEASE I DIE OF WARMTH. I did NOT remember that, it is so… casually acknowledged!!! Like yes, yes, it is clear as DAY that, by the end, there is friendship among the trio, but it is casually verbalised by Simon like that and oh my goodness.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 19

I will have to say that for the Lifting Spirits ending, I was way, way more invested in the themes of family and family dynamics instead of the shipping side of things. But SHIPPERS GOTTA SHIP and I respect that XD

Things spiraled out of control further and further.

Alexander… Luster Jr

Not with someone else, only Benny. …For now, anyway.

…AND HOW MANY NEW PEOPLE IS HE PLANNING ON MEETING WHEN ON HOUSE ARREST, EXACTLY?!

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 20

Really love the parallels vs differences between Benny and Lex illustrated so clearly in this chapter.

He didn’t want her to die. It seemed unfair of her to have to die while he got a second chance at living.

OH MY GOD? I Had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN THAT THIS GETS ADDRESSED/MENTIONED IN THE ENDING WHEN I’VE SPENT THE LAST FEW WEEKS/MONTHS ECHOING THIS EXACT SAME SENTIMENT!!!!

WILD that I had forgotten about this being brought up directly in the text considering how much I’ve been “”complaining”” about this EXACT “double standard”.

My memory must be SO bad I genuinely thought that Mirage didn’t even get any mention anywhere in the ending, and that after Lex’s meeting with her in the prison she promptly Disappears never to be mentioned again in Lifting Spirits, which felt INCREDIBLY unjust and to do her character a severe disservice. Once again I am a FOOL. A FOOL. That’s my entire Phantoms and Mirages reading experience let’s just be clear: me just, fumbling around blindly and making a fool of myself xDD

I actually think this being brought up directly in the text is the precise thing which planted this thought in my head in the first place too, and then I just, forgot that it was brought up in-story and started going around thinking it was my Own Original Sentiment, pffffff. THAT’S UH. A BIT OF A RUNNING THEME ABOUT THINGS FROM THE ENDING ACTUALLY. This is what I get for reading the ending Once and then needing to go off of memory alone for the next few months: suddenly it starts seeming like my ideas are Totally Original, Not Drawn From Direct Textual Hints/Discussion Or Anything. LOL.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 21

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

I have no clue if this was intentionally meant to echo one of the Phantom’s statements in Chasing Phantoms, but I found myself noticing it, at least on second readthrough, nonetheless!

“It would be best if you wipe that smirk off your face and hold your tongue, Bobby, as I’m quite certain your assumptions won’t sit well with me.”

Benny is right there? He’s right th

Hhhhhh I guess Benny is ok with the lack of openness then? dfhjbdfjfdkjb but Bobby’s RIGHT and Lex is a LIAR~

“I feel it is our duty as your friends to rub it in. Thirty eight years old, wasn’t it?”

“as your friends” once again, I’m ascending

Simon decided to tune out the remainder of the argument. Much as he believed Bobby had a point- the Jammin’ Ninja really was worthless against an opponent as grand as the Steel Samurai- he had no interest in partaking in the discussion.

SDKJNFDNJLFSDKJ

The former spy dropped himself back in his chair to return his attention to the watch he was constructing.

The

Former

Spy

: D (I misremembered the “former” part being way earlier in the narrative… and was kinda “huh!” whenever the narrative would still refer to him as “spy” long after the surgery on this readthrough… This is an example of my oversimplification of the distinctions the text makes between Lex and the phantom; in reality, there was still a transition involved, and things/characterisation wasn’t as clear-cut as I’d remembered it being in a “before vs after the surgery” sense. The subtle changes are… super great).

Okay, so for this ending (and the plot of Lifting Spirits), there was ONE thing that slightly nagged at me. Ultimately, I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. But one thing that did strike me is that the Phantoms and Mirages narrative very clearly frames the phantom’s lack of emotions – their impairment as a result of the bone sliver – as a disability. Through the removal of the bone sliver, this disability is ultimately “cured”, and Lex is given the opportunity to become a “real” and good person.

In real life, in the vast majority of cases, there is no ready cure for disabilities, and a person’s disability cannot be readily separated meaningfully from who they are. It is something with them their whole life. It could be said that the disability itself is being kicked aside in this narrative instead of being accepted. (But, of course, given the context, it’s pretty understandable). There’s the slight potential for things to go awry if you warp some kind of message out of the narrative somehow such as “oh, it’s okay, if you’re disabled you can still have a happy ending… You just need to “cure” your disability first!” but that is obviously an extremely unfair and uncharitable reading.

I think it’s important to clarify that the Phantom’s lack of emotions – his disability in and of itself is not what made him a bad person (obviously), it was his actions. And I think that the narrative does make that pretty clear.

But the thing is,

It’s NOT actually the case that Lex gets suddenly magically “cured” of everything. That’s not the case at all! He must continue to struggle and to strive – he may not be emotionless anymore, but now he has to deal with the opposite, which is a sort of handicap all on its own. There are lasting repercussions from the bone sliver in the sense that now he must learn to deal with the intensity of what he is feeling. With that in mind, to frame it in terms of a “disability being kicked aside” is a pretty incorrect reading.

I said this in a previous post when I kind of touched on this kind of thing:

It’s just, the notion of a character actively striving to be good and overcoming themselves vs a sudden fix that gets externally applied

But another thing is… In my mind, I had exaggerated somewhat just how much of an effect this “sudden fix that gets externally applied” has as well. Lex must not only strive to overcome the extremity of the emotions he feels now, but there continues to be development throughout Lifting Spirits regarding how he interacts with the characters around him. It’s not like he gets the surgery and his characterisation/bonds with the others suddenly and abruptly jumps to where it was at the end and remains consistent through the whole fic; not at all. There CONTINUES to be development as he makes progress towards the point he’s at in the ending, even after the surgery.

Another thing about this ending is that it is so nice.

I think that Lifting Spirits, at its core, is a really beautiful story and concept. It really is. And part of why I had, perhaps, fought against or figured I wouldn’t find a good ending convincing is because I had convinced myself that it just wasn’t possible for the phantom as a character in general to ever achieve any kind of happy ending no matter what, EVEN IF I might like such a thing. I must make some clarification here, because other stories do offer a good kind of happy ending for them, but not in the same manner in which Lifting Spirits does, Lifting Spirits definitely feels like a different “kind” of good ending and a more “direct” good ending at that. I hope that makes some sense, because articulating the difference does seem kinda difficult.

Usually with favourite characters you want them to be happy, but with the phantom it had never been like that… I only ever wanted, or expected, angst or whatnot because… I simply did not think anything else was possible. And I was pretty content with that. But you… You…!

Anyway, there is another big aspect of the ending’s greatness that I want to talk about too. It’s kind of open-ended in the best possible way…

So many things happen that well and truly make it seem like the story is drawing to a close, and YET, simultaneously, there is very much this sense of new beginnings as well, and this ending works equally well regardless of whether there’s another instalment or not.

Something little like Simon getting his hair cut, or Bobby and Simon officially moving in with each other, are awesome things that feel very significant, that make you go “wow, we really are at the wholesome, satisfying, grand conclusion to it all huh? We’ve spent so much time with these characters, but now it’s finally time for them to go on their merry way, and continue to go on with their lives beyond the text written on the page.” They are CHANGES, changes to the “status quo”. You certainly get the impression that even if the story might be “over” for the reader, it certainly isn’t over for the characters – and that is the impression we would still get if there was absolutely nothing else written beyond Lifting Spirits – that their story would continue on regardless, and there would still be… adventure.

Because that’s another thing about the ending to Lifting Spirits. It closes off, and wraps everything up so very nicely. But at the same time, it remains poised, there is just this huge atmosphere of “stuff can still go DOWN” building. It’s the perfect ending where everything gets wrapped up but it is also the perfect set-up for anything to happen beyond the conclusion.

I sense this VERY STRONGLY in the segments where, for example, Benny considers how maybe he might need all the weapons and skills he has. Feels very “calm before the storm”.

Part of what’s so great about something like Simon getting a motorcycle is that the “the subway sucks” and “Simon trying to learn how to drive” subplot(s) have been present in the series from the very beginning. And finally, finally, after trying and failing at learning to drive regular cars, Simon has successfully escaped the subway at the very end.

We are given such hints on what could lie beyond, but also, from the way things are? There are a million different ways things COULD pan out in future, and the audience is only left to wonder.

We are given this strong hint that MAYBE… just maybe, this situation isn’t quite sustainable indefinitely. That perhaps, something’s gotta give at some point.

And that no matter what, the characters probably have some wild times ahead of them. Like that’s the thing: Even if Tracking Ghosts didn’t exist, I’d be left with the lasting impression that events of “Tracking Ghosts” length may still await the characters in the future.

But it’s all left so perfectly VAGUE. All left only in the realm of possibility.

I was satisfied to the extreme with the ending, I had to just take it and run at the time (of course I always planned on reading on), although back then to an extent I was outright BAFFLED at there still being this huge instalment to go. In the words of my friend, back then when I told her that Actually, there’s STILL even MORE to read:

Like, it truly felt like EVERYTHING had already been said and done. So how…?!

And since then, of course, I have not continued reading on as of yet, which has given me plenty of time to think.

And I have since realised that, as well and as thoroughly as Lifting Spirits DOES wrap everything up, there are still tiny, potentially loose threads. Tiny threads that could be unravelled until they could give way to all manner of things, scenarios, plots.

And that aside, there’s so much else that COULD happen as well. The Lifting Spirits ending is rife with potential. It is absolutely brimming with it.

And I also found myself realising that hey, there actually are things that haven’t been said and done yet. That there ARE little tiny things left nagging at me.

Tracking Ghosts contains a whole new threat, elaboration on Lex's emotional instability, road trips through Borginia, lots more 'Mirage' and Domestique LaSoote's backstory (oooh~). Also, the mother of all epilogues and a few more bonus chapters that take place afterwards.

Okay it is actually hilarious how little I remembered of all of this by the end. And that is to say: pretty much none of it. I straight-up forgot ALL of this being even mentioned in the Author’s Note at the end, and therefore have incorporated stuff like “road trips through Borginia” and “Mirage backstory” very VERY little in how I’ve thought about what to expect from Tracking Ghosts, at least in recent times, ahahahaha. Well I’ve got… quite a lot ahead of me, I’m sure.

I am certain that there’s so much more I could probably say about this series, I could continue to go on and on, but for now, there you have it, I think. I have not done this ending justice at all – it’s just so good it defies being done justice, and I don’t think I can fully articulate what I want to. But I’m content. Across so many posts, in thousands and thousands of words, I have already said quite a bit. XD

So now, all that’s left is to take that plunge and finally start to read Tracking Ghosts as I planned on doing once this series of posts was finished, huh? XD

I start my work week tomorrow, so it’s currently looking like… I will start reading it next weekend! It will have to be a weekend, sadly, as I can’t imagine starting and diving into something so huge when I have to try and focus on work/get sufficient sleep, lol.

OH I DON’T KNOW HOW TO END THIS POST-

Thank you, so much, for everything, and uh, apologies in advance for however much I might blow up your inbox/DMs/what have you when reading Tracking Ghosts. GENUINELY DON’T KNOW how much I will liveblog to you, if only a couple of things will slip through or if I’m just outright gonna go completely wild with it XD. IT WILL DEPEND ON THE STORY ITSELF AND HOW I’M FEELING I GUESS/my reactions.

These review posts have been… they’ve been really fun, I’ve enjoyed doing them a lot. They’ve been time consuming, but it was all 100% worth it and I’m very glad I set out to do them. I couldn’t not do them, really. I found myself realising that I just needed to tell you about the incredible journey/ride this series took me on one way or another – and, of course, I just have so many thoughts and so very many opinions about it. It lends itself so readily to analysis for me. But more than that, it feels like it SHOULD be analysed and subjected to analysis.

Talking with you is really great, and I hope to talk with you heaps more in future! Not just about your stories, just in general!

Thanks again, and I hope you have a great week! And then it will be TRACKING GHOSTS TIME.

#long post

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 9 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8

Welp. This is gonna be very painful for me on sooo many levels.

Hooo I kinda feel like I’m playing directly with fire in this post.

Now, it’s worth calling attention to the fact that these reaction/commentary posts are, first and foremost, built on my reactions to the source material. They are recounting the journey I, personally, went through as I read this series – that’s why I focus so much on my feelings and what I thought. There is more objective analysis at times, but it’s not the primary focus. Just in case you’re wondering why I’m focusing on myself so much and might get a little “omg can u shut up about urself and just get back to the story already???” pff. (And besides, more objective analysis is always inevitably filtered through the individual’s thoughts/mindset/perspective/preferences/etc anyway. So I’m basically just not even trying to tune any of that stuff out, as one would inevitably have to for a more proper series of reviews.) Ah… I hope reading in such depth about my personal rollercoaster journey is at least somewhat interesting. And not too boring.

…Yes, at the very least, I hope this post makes for a SOMEWHAT entertaining read.

That was part of my goal. Other than honesty to the point of self-sabotage.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 18

There’s a whole bunch of small things I could comment on in this chapter but I’m going to gloss over them instead. I… can’t bring myself to dwell too much on the “side-things” in this post, really.

So. The image of the phantom, sitting with his head in his hands as Bobby and Palaeno dote over him while the phantom just irritably tries to wave them off is just, everything to me. xDDDD One of my faaaaavourite things. And then the phantom just leaping to his feet like that… The entire scene I could just go on and on about it at length… But I won’t. xDDDD The best game of “how much of an uncomfortable situation and awkwardness can we possibly apply to our dear spy – having other characters dote to the point of it being outright patronising – and how will this near-emotionless man respond to such outside forces?”

Okay actually, I will ramble just a Little. “Bobby and phantom = mother and child” is one of my favourite dynamics in this whole series. Bobby in this scene is just No. 1 Mum and it’s aaaall of my yes. So the phantom is forced to play the role of the child once more at this point in the chapter. The reality is that he’s a convicted criminal and therefore cannot be trusted on his own, hence requiring a bathroom escort. But he might as well be a helpless little child who requires adult supervision, as is the norm with children – this is the other amusing lens through which you can joke about Blackquill needing to lead the way there for him.

With that, Simon turned and led the way towards the door. The Phantom followed, as obedient as could be, and Fulbright looked like he was about to do the same.

The “as obedient as could be” gets me every damn time, ahahaha. Because it really feels to slot him firmly into that “child” role. Being a good little child. For now. His major modes seem to be “obedient child” (e.g. “Sam Specter” doing the dishes in Haunted Specters if you wanted to push it) and of course the classic “petulant child”.

“Am I still meant to thank you for saving my life?” “Would it have even the slightest shred of sincerity to it?” Simon questioned. “Of course not.” “Then, no.”

THIS IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH SOME OF MY FAVOURITE PHANTOM EXCHANGES IN THIS SERIES.

“A fool, but not worthy of the title Fool Bright. Isn’t that right?” The Phantom managed some sort of failed echo of a smile. A smile that wouldn’t convince anyone who saw it. The words struck Simon as odd. Before the Phantom regained his memories, he would choose Fulbright’s side and use an almost defensive attitude to protect the man. Now that the lost year had returned to him, things seemed different.

Just. Shoot me. Please.

So I guess. Maybe he’s still trying to determine if Simon might be hurt the same way he’s sure Bobby will be?? I guess??? Perhaps… his words aren’t so much about how the name “Fool Bright” impacts him personally, but from his perspective… Simon calling him “Fool Bright” could imply that capacity for him to get deeply hurt by the phantom’s death, that Simon might also have some kind of attachment to him like Bobby does but is less obvious about it, and the phantom obviously doesn’t want that. So I guess his goal here… is possibly trying to determine if Simon has any sentimentality towards him that also needs to be stomped out for Simon’s own sake??

“You need to watch your tongue, Phantom. One might almost accuse you of being jealous.”

Me: um dude did he just. Go there? Did Simon really just- nah that can’t be right, I’m just reading things into his words that aren’t there you know-

“Your relationship? You believe I hold romantic or even sexual interest in you?”

Me: OH. OH OKAY. SO I GUESS WE’RE JUST? I GUESS SIMON REALLY WENT THERE HUH AND THE BOTH OF THEM ARE JUST NOT SHYING AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. THEY’RE JUST MEETING THIS TOPIC HEAD-ON. WELL. OKAY THEN!

The sheer level of whiplash that this turn in their conversation had on me- I had literally only just been joking with my friend about the parent-child dynamics present among the trio from EARLIER ON IN THE SAME CHAPTER as I’d been reading through it.

The scene just. Ends on that line. Wild enough on its own.

And then it. Bobby. The next scene. H. And then the ffffffffffffff

Chapter end.

Me:

“DOES ANYBODY WANNA TELL ME WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED???????”

And on that absolutely wild note, Vanquishing Mirages draws to a firm close. It was a little bit strange that this scene never gets revisited or expanded upon moving forward, but that’s no matter. I’m sure it was an innocent writing oversight. At least this fic managed to go out with a huge bang! Turns out that thanks to Simon, the phantom had been saddled with unnecessary feelings! Hahaha, what do you know! Sooo, that about wraps it up for me and my reaction/commentary/review for this post folks, I wish anyone reading this all the best! So next up, we have Lifting Spirits! Going into Lifting Spirits, the title already has a positive touch to it, and well, we’ll just have to see what else it has in store. Cya!

Ah… I guess this post is a little short to just leave it at that then, isn’t it? Very well. Continuing on with the very next chapter that happens immediately after this one, as we begin the new fic:

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 1

He was just watching a documentary on the Tasmanian masked owl when the doorbell rang.

Hahaha omg that is such a Simon thing to do

A bit irksome, but then again, he was fairly sure he’d already seen this footage before.

Dfkjsfjksdf BIG NERD. BIRD NERD.

THE WHIPPED CREAM AND CHOCOLATE SAUCE COMMENT FROM BOBBY djdjnk GOODNESS ME. I wonder if we’ll get any further allusions to what his relationship with Domestique was, ahem, possibly like in future!

And there’s also th

OKAY FINE.

[sigh] FIIIIINE.

Finishing the Chapter 18 review then.

Well my first incredulous reaction was something like, “Are you… serious. Did we not just spend like… Two entire fics playing around with the notion that “Blackquill is Basically the phantom’s dad”???? And then you turn around and do this? HOW IS THE READER SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT THIS? NARRATIVE CAN YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIIIIND? ARE YA REALLY GONNA MAKE A PLAY AT THIS AFTER ALL THE PARENTAL DYNAMICS THAT WERE INTRODUCED?

It’s… Oh my god.

But then again.

It wasn’t like these themes hadn’t been introduced before. The first fic in the series felt so far away, out of reach, and from so long ago (and I’ve already gone over how separated it felt from the rest of the story on first readthrough so I needn’t do so again)… But I had some vague recollections you know. The main thing that stood out to me was Blackquill’s confrontation with the phantom before the phantom allowed himself to fall from the apartment window. Where Blackquill basically Trump Cards the phantom with “Ha! You’re totally into me!” and the phantom went “oh god you’re right” and was soooo ruined over the idea that he was apparently ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE that he was like whew! Think I’ll be taking my leave now and never seeing or needing to speak to you or anyone else again, so great is my mortification! And then he went BYE BYE out the window, the end. That’s Totally what happened, right? And even if that’s not exactly how the scene went, I knew, for some reason(s) that I couldn’t quite remember at the time, that the phantom having a Thing for Simon during the first fic was indisputable. (WE WILL GET TO THAT).

And the thing that’s been preventing this being brought up this entire time? The memory loss. And what’s no longer an issue? The memory loss. It was paaaaainfully obvious that things were different once the phantom regained those memories. The entire parental dynamic wherein the phantom was positioned as being Simon’s son was all set up purely in Haunted Specters, during the memory loss phase. But if I looked at it this way, I took it as “fact” that phantom was into Simon in some way or another prior to the memory loss. All of the weird parental projection stuff seemed to only come after that, while the memories of the missing year were gone. And IF THOSE MEMORIES HAD NOW RETURNED… It makes sense that……………………………

There would be some kind of reversion back to…………

So could this fic compartmentalise it like that, then? And we are to leap from the parental realm now that the memories are returned, and straight into… this? Hmm. But this alone was not enough. There were a couple of other things, too.

See, I’ve already alluded to/essentially stated this previously, but… That scene just before the phantom allows himself to fall from the window? On first readthrough, at the time, I didn’t even particularly like it or truly appreciate it. And then, we come full circle, back to when I had all my pesky little “doubts” about how the phantom’s character was handled in the first fic, finally catching up to me for my full re-evaluation.

I hadn’t really bought the one-sided phantomquill during fic 1. It was one of those doubts from back then. It just hadn’t stuck at the time.

Would it stick now?

Let’s talk a bit about phantomquill.

Well, phantomquill has never been my primary focus. My primary focus has always been the phantom (in Dual Destinies content, anyway). If given the choice, I’d prefer to just have content that has the phantom in it. Not really phantomquill stuff, although phantomquill can certainly be interesting to think about, it was never really a priority or a preference for me.

Except… Almost all phantom-focused content usually seems to be inherently phantomquill in nature. Which is fine! It would be nice to just have some neutral phantom stuff, but it looked like phantomquill was the default. The prerequisite, almost, if someone was gonna have a focus on the phantom in their story. And I didn’t mind. But I’d probably equally enjoy said stories regardless of whether the phantomquill was there or not.

So I guess I’m always kinda inclined to just shrug and go “I GUESS?” when phantomquill comes along. But I had, however, become waaay more fond of phantomquill over the years. It still wasn’t much of a preference but I’d certainly gained an appreciation for it and quite enjoyed thinking about it at times.

And obviously, obviously, from how the last two scenes are set-up – the suspiciously sudden jumpcut between them, I knew there had to be more to what was going on. I knew there probably had to be missing lines that got exchanged that the audience hadn’t seen yet, leading up to/into what Bobby walks in on.

But regardless of what those lines were… The outcome would be the same, wouldn’t it? So what difference could the conversation’s direction possibly make? Things, in one way or another, from how their conversation continues, must have gotten out of h- well. Spiralled into what Bobby sees the phantom doing!!

And I was also amused because HMM… THIS WHOLE SCENARIO… WHEREIN A BLOND PHANTOM… KISSES SIMON, COMMITTING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE IN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO… ALMOST SEEMS FAMILIAR, SOMEHOW.

But actually, there’s really no harm in that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with fanfics containing similar scenarios playing out with their own differences added into the mix. It’s FUN and EXCITING to see different authors handle somewhat similar situations in their own ways. If anything, it should be encouraged.

So could I really accept this scene playing out in THIS fic in all its terrific absurdity? One of the important questions for that was, did it feel “earned” in any way?

I found myself thinking back to previous Vanquishing Mirages chapters, as covered in the last post. About how, back then, I was thinking how this was “peak phantomquill” and how if there’s any way phantomquill should be, it was this. Even back then, I inadvertently found myself glancing at the fic’s tags. “No phantomquill tag? No phantomquill tag? Huh… well okay then. I guess the author doesn’t think it’s phantomquill if it’s not “romantic” in nature and/or only remains subtext. That’s fair enough.” To look at those scenes… To think back to the first fic… And look at it all through a phantomquill lens…… It did feel kinda earned to me.

And you even warned me, in your own way. “Originally planned to have one-sided phantomquill.” ORIGINALLY. That’s essentially what you told me, isn’t it? Aaaand that confused me for the longest time. Honestly. I read through Chasing Phantoms like “???? “Originally” how? This one-sided phantomquill is uh, PRETTY SOLIDLY CANON IMO.” I just figured you meant “one-sided phantomquill that wasn’t just subtext” or “way more obvious”. Figured that in your opinion, if it only ever remained subtext yet still clearly there, well it wasn’t proper phantomquill then was it?

And then when I read this chapter, I was just like… (AND EVEN MESSAGED MY FRIEND BASICALLY SAYING THIS):

“THIS FIC ISN’T EVEN TAGGED AS PHANTOMQUILL W H A T”

(HOOTY HOOO PAST ME THERE’S A REASON FOR THAT).

But it just made me think, “Oh, well. I guess the only reason the author would tag something as “phantomquill” ever is if the pairing becomes canon then? Which it obviously never will here. Therefore there’s no tag for it.”

Now, I’d like to draw your attention to something I wrote in a recent reply of mine to you:

“Not to mention that I loved the courtroom jokes bit so much that, once I decided to let myself enjoy it and accept it, my Willing Suspension of Disbelief was strengthened tenfold and was ready to take just about anything you would throw at it. (And you sure were ready to throw stuff at me and had more up your sleeve!). I gave the story even more leeway to work with willingly, because everything was so perfect and I wanted my suspension of disbelief to have plenty of leeway to fully enjoy EVERYTHING. NO MORE INNER KILLJOY. I knew I could trust in the narrative because it was so strong.”

I guess this was a huge part of my downfall.

I looked at this set-up the chapter left us with – one-sided, inevitably angsty phantomquill, thought back on everything and what it came down to was… couldn’t I just accept it, just like I’d accepted things like the joke-telling? Did I want to? Did I enjoy this scenario?

…Yeah. Yeah, I realised with a bit of surprise that I did. I REALLY, REALLY DID, ACTUALLY. And I wanted to accept it. My inner killjoy was cast aside. It was tiiiime to just enjoy this perfect “angst” or whatever youd call it.

It didn’t matter how ridiculous it may be. When it comes to fanfiction… the sky tends to be the limit. It’s precisely where you can see little fantasies like this one played out. It’s… It’s… If there’s any place this kind of scenario could happen, for sure. This was it. The best thing to do is just… enjoy it for what it is.

Almost everything had primed me to thinking that… This was indisputable one-sided phantomquill, was it not? And if just about every phantom-heavy fic out there seems to have some phantomquill in it, it’s only natural that this one would too, right? There was nothing driving me to question it. And accepting it just made me ridiculously happy and excited. Yeah, it’s “angsty” and one-sided, but it made me so dang happy nonetheless.

And if this wasn’t bad enough.

I went on to make a number of other mistakes that proved to be very, very fatal.

I read this chapter after midnight. And it was sooo much to process, and I wanted to be fully awake to process whatever was coming next… And it was just way too late at night. I figured, I wouldn’t be able to handle whatever was coming next… I needed to sleep. I needed to… save it for tomorrow. And it was too late to read another chapter anyway.

…Oh, if only I had read on… I could have spared myself so much. If I had just gone straight from this chapter into the next one… I would’ve been mostly fine. Nothing would have truly had a chance to sink in and my misconception would have been quickly cleared up. I would’ve been pretty much fine, I’m sure. I would have likely suspended judgement and saved myself…

It really is the kiss itself that was the killing blow, too. If the chapter had only, if it had only ended at the phantom’s last line, and Bobby’s segment saved for the next chapter, I would have EASILY maintained plausible deniability and would have been spared. Even when Blackquill and phantom’s conversation turned in that direction, I had NOT made ANY concrete assumptions.

But what actually happened was.

I turned my computer off,

And went to sleep.

And ohhhhhh boy.

I was very excited to find out how the narrative would continue in the next chapter. Especially how the prose of the text itself would approach it. Naturally, there was going to be immediate fallout.

But the narrative patterns of this series so far also fooled me. One thing was clear: the audience was to find out what happened during the jumpcut from Blackquill’s to Bobby’s POV in the next chapter.

And WHOSE perspective is missing, that is normally left until last? Was it not evident…?

So it seems like my mind couldn’t help brainstorming, and seems my dreams were like, “Oh, what if the prose was like this, starting with this sentence, and then…”

Haah.

So you see, when I woke up the next morning, I had these lines of prose fresh in my mind! And I really liked them, actually! I couldn’t let them go to waste! I had to write them down…!

Yep. It’s terribly embarrassing to admit. But I wrote my own little snippet of a sequel before reading the next chapter. “I can compare, see how the next chapter actually goes…!” I thought to myself naively.

Which brings us to…

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 19

Finally, I eagerly open the next chapter to read and it was just…

I don’t think I’ve ever been more thoroughly played by a piece of fiction in my entire life.

There was that time I was reading a book and one of the beloved characters that I was deeply attached to was very clearly dying. Their death had been one of the possibilities I had been DREADING even before starting the book. It’s a little bit hard to stay alive when there’s a sword lodged in you like that, you know? Their consciousness was slipping away by the moment. I couldn’t read on through my tears. I had to pause reading and pull myself together to push on.

…And when I did? The character suddenly, recovered on the next page. And was fine. Because here’s the thing: said character was a zombie. But like, a weird kind of “alive” zombie which could still die I guess. Had the sword remained firmly lodged in him, chances are he would have actually died. But another character – devastated over this character’s impending death, 100% sure it was about to happen, pulled the sword out. And then, what do you know? The character sat up again and was like “lol wait I’m actually feeling a lot better now lol… well I guess that’s being a zombie for you huh.”

Hah. Well. That’s one example that comes to mind and at least, in this case… the bait and switch was actually going from one thing I desperately didn’t want – to something I actually desperately wanted. For the character to live, or “live” as a perfectly conscious zombie.

There is another example that comes to mind, a little bit closer to home, which involves… ship baiting.

I like to think that it is very hard to make me fall for ship baiting. Sure, I ship things that aren’t canon in media. And I do so with the full knowledge that they aren’t canon and will most likely never be canon. I keep those two realms nice and separate and therefore my feelings never get hurt. I never get too invested to the point of becoming upset… And I can tell, usually, what is sheer shipbaiting and what constitutes actual, canon evidence.

So there was one piece of media I was into, where two male characters were shipped with each other from the very start by the fandom, even before they ever interacted with each other. Then they actually started interacting and their dynamic was awesome, they cared for and were looking out for each other. So the shipping of the two characters only heightened dramatically in the fandom, naturally. Now, everyone was getting invested, but I looked at these two characters and went… “yeah, sure, I would love to see them get together, so I ship it.” But I figured, you know, it was never gonna actually happen, so I didn’t get too invested. I thought, yeah… the writers are deeefinitely throwing in some intentional bait with those two that they will never actually follow through on. So I didn’t get invested.

But then something happened that changed everything for me… One of those two characters got 100% confirmed, beyond a shadow of any doubt, to be canonically in love with the other, in the media itself, undeniably. I always usually look for plausible deniability to cover my bases. That’s what ship baiting relies on. But there was no way around the concrete fact that this character was in love with the other.

And in that piece of media, there was no canon reason, absolutely none, why those two characters couldn’t get together. And if Character A’s canonically in love with Character B… there were MOUNTAINS of evidence that Character B felt the same way. If anything, if I had to take a blind guess at who was in love with who, I would have figured it was Character B way more than Character A.

Well, the writers messed up and stuffed around and played with its audience. They wanted to keep baiting this ship, they introduced very transparent & pointless roadblocks as to why they couldn’t be together only after the fact of one of the character’s feelings revealed, and yeah, turns out the other character doesn’t feel the same way back. They employed just plain bad writing to introduce pointless drama and turned the previously inseparable pair against each other.

Nooow that hurt a lot because I was shipping something that, for all intents and purposes canonically speaking, could've been on the verge of becoming a reality. Before the writers decided to add unnecessary complications and reveal that the other character never felt that way. I got really invested and it turned out to be blatant baiting and, yeah.

Well the example in your fic is obviously very different from that one on a number of fronts. The example just provided was baiting the ship becoming canon. The example in your series is merely baiting the notion that a character had a specific type of feeling(s) for another. In some ways that made it all the more crushing.

Suffice it to say, I felt like the BIGGEST, STUPIDEST idiot EVER when I read the next chapter. I still do. The pain never truly went away sdklsd;madl;dfkj

Well, let’s start on the chapter itself, shall we?

With the chapter summary:

The Phantom’s crazy way of thinking turns the situation into a bit of a soap opera. How does he really feel about Simon Blackquill, as far as feeling goes with him?

Stupid, stupid me, leaning into a microphone: um. Do you even have to ask. This chapter summary alone was one of my favourite things in the world… before reading on.

”My actions were Bobby Fulbright’s actions, not a reflection of my own desires.”

Okay so. I had not actually remembered this line until this second readthrough, and I absolutely have to call bull on this. We know that prior to the phantom stealing Bobby’s life, Bobby never acted on his sexuality. FURTHERMORE, EVEN IF HE HAD, I’m calling bull once AGAIN and am gonna say that the real Bobby Fulbright would never have abused his role as parole officer to cross a line that should not have been crossed WITH A PRISONER THAT HE IS PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR. Unavoidable power balance. The Bobby I know would not, end of story. Even if the real Bobby was attracted to Simon. He wouldn’t have acted on it if he was Simon’s parole officer. AND THIS ENTIRE SPIEL IS MOOT ANYWAY BECAUSE THE PHANTOM WOULD HAVE NO WAY TO TELL WHO BOBBY WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO AND I SOMEHOW DOUBT HE GETS THAT INVESTED IN HIS ROLES TO FOLLOW THROUGH TO THIS EXTENT. I guess what it comes down to is how he later basically says “seeking acknowledgement is one thing, seeking a relationship is entirely another”. So part of the driving force was the seeking acknowledgement…? BUT IN A WEIRD NON-PHANTOMQUILL WAY…? And there’s also the fact that the identity of “Bobby Fulbright” and the nameless spy known as the phantom were blurring together. But IF the identity blurring actually played a role, that would make it phantomquill, so I kind of doubt that’s part of the explanation.

And like, sure, I get it. Pretty sure “Bobby Fulbright” behaved that way immediately after Simon mentioned “the phantom” to him. So his goal was to manipulate Simon, a little bit of that “seeking acknowledgement” in there too (BUT NOT ACTUAL PHANTOMQUILL-STYLE “SEEKING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT” APPARENTLY????) and who knows. Maybe he was searching for the damn profile. Maybe he thought it might be hidden in Simon’s clothes. WHO KNOWS. But like, I get it, it was “not a reflection of his own desires”, APPARENTLY.

fffffffffffffff

”I am what one might call aromantic and asexual,”

So as a quick aside, worth noting that on the first readthrough… Like… I knew the kiss was still coming so at the start when he’s saying this stuff, it felt more like him denying it, only for ya know… the kiss to happen and all. It was only after it fully played out that I came back to this line all like “Oh my god… he was right… he wasn’t kidding…” BUT WE’LL GET TO THERE. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY THOUGH-

My goodness. Reading this sent me into another realm. It just like? Astral projected me to some other planet because heLLOOOO I WOULD LIKE TO DISSECT THIS A LITTLE BIT:

Firstly, the word “asexual”? Okay, that’s commonly used outside of the context of people being ace. So it would not be too surprising for him to say something about being asexual because, that’s already a commonly-used English word, even if that “common definition” (see: plants and whatever) is not the definition he is using here, he could easily use this word in this context without knowing that plenty of people actually do use it in this context as a label for themselves.

BUT “AROMANTIC” … NOW THAT’S INTERESTING. “Aromantic” is a very specific word with a specific definition! It is not a commonly-known English word in day-to-day life among the average person and it is not used outside of people using it as a label to identify themselves with!

ALL OF THIS TO SAY… FOR HIM TO USE BOTH WORDS? IMPLIES HE KNOWS HIS STUFF.

IF the phantom had been randomly pulling out the word “asexual” because it would be “obvious what it means in this context” without knowing that asexuality is A Fairly Common Thing, he would have just called himself asexual and nothing else. Because for people who aren’t particularly knowledgeable on the subject, they often conflate asexuality and aromanticism together!

With that being said, there is still the possibility that he isn’t aware of the communities that have been formed around those labels. That he was doing a simple equation here and putting “a-“ in front of “sexuality” and “romantic” to demonstrate that he’s “none” in both.

BUT I’M STILL INCLINED TO SAY THAT THE FACT THAT HE SPECIFICALLY SAYS “AROMANTIC” MEANS HE’S KINDA KNOWLEDGEABLE ABT IT…

And I just CANNOT get over this and the implications attached to it. The phantom knows about asexuality and aromanticism and self-identifies as aroace? THE PHANTOM KNOWS ABOUT THE SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL? DSDFKLMLKDF;LDSL;-

Ohhh my god.

And yes, in this year 2019 these terms and communities are becoming more and more widespread, but they’re still not particularly mainstream. I know also that this fic is set in 2028, but… I’m more primed to think about when this fic was written – a few years back – when these terms and communities would have been a little bit more obscure. That’s the primary background I think of RE: the phantom actually knowing this stuff.

Also, hah, it’s so many layers because WOW… Talk about absolutely awful aroace representation in a sense right here. You get this character in your canon calling themselves aroace and they’re… the despicable, emotionless murderer & VILLAIN. Feels like it falls directly into the “bad representation” trap, HOWEVER. I do feel that the situation is much more nuanced in this case.

Like yeah, he might be an emotionless murderer, and on the surface that looks bad, BUT! He’s also a major protagonist that we have come to sympathise with at times and feel bad for… The story has followed and focused on him so much. It has shown him in so many different lights, somehow managing to make him such an extremely well-rounded character with depth. Therefore, at least to me… It doesn’t necessarily feel like bad representation at all. He’s not limited to being the bad guy. He’s so much more than that. This is nothing but another aspect to his character. And being aroace is not necessarily directly linked to his villainy. So much about him has been broken down and deconstructed. So somehow… by some miracle… In the context of this fic, the fact that the emotionless murderer is aroace could almost circle back around into being almost good representation, amazingly enough. Or… well, that’s the thing. Whether it’s “good” or “bad” representation most likely ultimately isn’t your primary concern anyway. Neither is “representation”, for that matter. What matters is a good story with good characters that make sense. So there may be no point talking about the representation angle anyway: it’s not necessarily “representation”. It’s just a character with a certain identity that happens to neutrally exist in the plot, whoever that character may be and whatever that character may happen to be.

And I also have happened to see you mention that you yourself are ace!

But I’m merely analysing the text as I would with any piece of fiction – and will continue to do so. Being aware that you’re ace yourself gives me a little bit more perspective on things, but I wouldn’t have necessarily been aware of that in different circumstances and therefore wish to look at the text as its own entity and how it comes across to me as the reader.

As for the rest of what he says…

Ohhh geez. Now it’s time to talk about something else. Another little fatal mistake I made in my approach to reading this series. We must once again return ourselves to when I read Chasing Phantoms.

Now I myself am asexual, of the repulsed kind… xD

So when I came across That phantomquill scene in Chasing Phantoms, my response was basically just, “oh GEEZ that is NOT a mental image I want thankyouverymuch nope nope nope nope.” And just – kept reading on and did my best to forget about that scene. Juuust bury it away and not think about it. :P Ignore it! Pretend it didn’t happen. And this alone created some “distance” between myself and the narrative at the time, that my instinct already was to reject something connected back to that version of the phantom.

Looks like I did a little too good of a job forgetting about it. And with it out of mind, well, I’d become sooo heavily entrenched in the series by this point and really was clinging to everything that was canon.

I read this chapter and it was just like… oh dear. Oh DEAR. That was a thing. That happened in this series!!!

It was just SHOVED in my face undeniably in this chapter, as if I could not have possibly received a nastier slap in the face with the reminder of that incident’s existence. xDDDD

My distance when reading Chasing Phantoms had just come back to bite me in the biggest way… I’d gotten so heavily attached to the canon of this series by this point. But I’d conveniently forgotten the canon that I didn’t want to acknowledge, and hadn’t fully acknowledged back then. Suddenly! I was well and truly being forced to acknowledge EVERYTHING! Ahaha.

The spy pushed away from the sink to take a few steps towards Simon. The look on his face was harder than it’d ever been before. The closest thing to fierce determination the man could muster, perhaps.

THIS must be when he gets the STUPID idea to, I DON’T KNOW, SHIPBAIT ME INTO OBLIVION? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

There was nothing heartfelt or affectionate about it.

NOTHING????? NOTHING?????????

“Awww… Busted.” The Phantom ran a hand past his mouth, but he was still grinning. It was a grin that Simon remembered from those first visits to solitary confinement. A grin that’d been coupled with purposeful jabs below the belt. “Isn’t that a damn shame?”

In spite of everything…………. I love this line. I just love the “aw busted” it’s sdjdfnkljdlnk I LOVE IT. HE IS THE WORRRRRRRST.

“Don’t be like that. I was only attempting to relive that pleasant night we had last year before it’s too late.”

Me: OH MY GOD SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP RIGHT NOW I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS SHUT IT DOWN.

Phantom: [opens mouth to speak]

Me:

Oh I can’t. I cannot.

Me: “I am BEGGING you to shut up. For once in your miserable life, in your whole pathetic existence… SHUT UP.”

This narrative had given me so much Suffering & Sympathetic Phantom and a whole manner of like… “Nice” Phantom and this is just…………… W O W. The narrative primed me so much on things like Sympathetic Phantom and “hahahaaaa he’s a child just look at him!” and this is just like! A harsh, merciless jolt! -OH ONE LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO RECEIVE ACTUALLY, WASN’T THINKING OF THAT WHEN I TYPED THAT BUT HAHAA…

BUT HIM SAYING THESE THINGS HAD SUCH ENTERTAINING SHOCK VALUE TOO. THE FLIPPANCY!

The Phantom stirred and pushed himself into a sitting position. He was still trembling, though at the very least that detestable grin had been washed off his face. “You’re welcome.”

Goooo to hell. Go to hell.

He briefly considered retrieving his feather from the ground as well, then thought better of himself. Five second rule aside, the fact that it was lying on the bathroom floor of a hospital instantly rendered it trash for the janitors to do away with.

SDKJBSDKJB SIMON.

“Understood.” The Phantom pushed himself to his feet, though he seemed to be having some trouble keeping his balance. Perhaps the electric currents had left a stronger impact on his body than was evident. To think this incident took place right before a jarring surgery…

HE IS SUCH A MORON. YOU IDIOT.

Perhaps this would be their final conversation, Simon realized with a sudden jolt. …No, the surgery would be harmless. It was an easy procedure. That was what the doctor had claimed.

This I had a small bit of trouble with, because something like brain surgery hardly seems like an “easy” and “harmless” procedure, but the dangers were actually touched on as I pointed out in my previous post… I just guess I would have emphasised the dangers a little more. But perhaps you did research and were able to determine that such a hypothetical procedure… would be “harmless”…?

The Phantom closed his eyes for a few seconds and Simon could see the corners of his mouth twitch. “I am… glad that we got to be partners one last time. Trust or no trust, I think that we make a favorable team.”

Look my soul had already well and truly left my body by this point of the chapter so I did not remember this line at all. I don’t really know what the hell’s it ‘sposed to mean or what’s going on. I guess it doesn’t matter. I have already been DESTROYED.

Dear Phantom,

Yours Sincerely,

-One of your biggest fans.

Sooo I was devastated. And felt deeply humiliated. And then that devastation turned to pure desperation. Even if things turned out this way… There had to still be hidden actual one-sided phantomquill nonetheless, right? I needed this. I needed this so badly, I’d staked everything on one-sided phantomquill’s reality here, something I had never truly done in any other phantom fic I’d ever read – fics that would willingly offer up phantomquill to me on a silver platter.

But every last bit of “phantomquill” that I’d been assuming and hadn’t even cared for prior to this point turned out not to be phantomquill at all…? It faded away, just when I needed it most. At which point, a second wave of devastation hit me. At the fact that not only had the chapter gone horribly, horribly awry from what my fantasies had played out in my mind, but that there had apparently never been any one-sided phantomquill. Heightening my sense of my own idiocy tenfold.

And this second wave was exacerbated by another realisation: Even if there were traces of genuine phantomquill to be found in other parts of the series, it hardly made any difference in the end. My feelings were hurt by chapter 19. Everything had been banked on that. And nothing could change how it actually played out.

And I thought it over countless times, because I usually like to pride myself on understanding and siding with authorial intent, you know? Or at least striving to most of the time. Was I truly just unbelievably stupid? What was I supposed to expect from the chapter? What about the other “phantomquill” scenes and implications that took place, dotted all throughout the series, that can be viewed through different lenses? It was clear that some baiting had been at play, but how much of it had been intentional and how much was me just an idiot reading the text incorrectly? (The fact that you were gunning for it in the beginning makes it seem like such a deep-rooted, ridiculously long-running con-job… my goodness… Even if it wasn’t intended to be a con from the start… That means the audience… Can you really say the audience is not being conned way back in Chasing Phantoms? How else were they supposed to interpret the phantom’s characterisation back then…?! How were they supposed to know…! And if actual phantomquill had been what you intended at the time of writing it…!) Oh I was ruined and driven into doubting myself so much and KICKING myself over this.

There was… No justice in any of this, it seemed. And I could not even feel “righteous” in any way. I just felt pathetic.

Because I’d only been asking for something one-sided… I’d wanted to see my favourite character suffer even more. It’s not the “normal” “I just want character to be happy” type angle. So it felt like such a weird thing to beg for. But beeeeeg for it I did anyway, huh.

I just! Wanted! To see some more Vulnerable Phantom! Maybe with just a little bit of genuine emotions leaking through! What would have made it so wonderful… Is that it takes place JUST before the surgery! Therefore it would demonstrate that even with his severely limited emotional state! He still…! THAT’S WHAT I WANTED OK IS THAT SO WRONG?!

No it isn’t and meet me out back I’ve got sources come prepared I’ll present my ten page essay on why you wrote your own fic wrong and sjsdjsdkj

^Me, in all-out confrontation & idiot mode, arguing at you over this, well and truly willing to go down with this one-sided ship

And when some of the devastation subsided, I went into Bitter Mode. Ohhhhhhh the saltiness. Ohhhhhhh I got salty, veeeeery salty. STILL not entirely sure if I’m done being salty. Or will ever be done being salty & bitter over this, played up intentionally to my friend to reap all of its comedic potential. :P I’d been burrrrrrrrrned.

So there you have it. Since you like irony so damn much…

I took the “phantomquill” in this series for granted at first. “Phantomquill” that I later practically begged for.

I didn’t care a whole lot for the initial scene where the phantom lets himself fall from that window in Chasing Phantoms (of course, I later realised how good it was on its own). A scene that was directly tied to and paralleled one of the extreme heights of my enjoyment in Vanquishing Mirages, also helping me to gain a far deeper appreciation of said earlier scene.

And the one time where I got super invested in phantomquill and wanted it, really wanted it, was with one of the very few fics that would flatly refuse to provide it.

Oh wait, one more thing too. The aro ace thing. Lol if he was agender too in this, he’d be triple-A hahaha

That was another thing when I came across the phantomquill in Chasing Phantoms initially. I was just like, “mmmm, no, nah. If anything, going by the “canon” of the game, if you absolutely had to put a label on the phantom, he’d be aro ace.”

Well. Turns out…

And, under just about any other circumstance, it would make me pleased to see the phantom call himself aro ace, and yet… The circumstances couldn’t be more… :T

So when it finally sunk in that, yea he is?

I was just like…

“No… no no no no no no… This is not happening… This cannot be happening…! MY OWN LOGIC IS BEING USED AGAINST MEEEEEE……………………”

: (

But yes. The ironies that can be listed of this situation do go on and on.

That was it. The last Simon saw or heard of the entity known as the Phantom.

Me, who in spite of everything, actually does still love the phantom very much and does not want to see him now promptly vanish from this really well-written series in his really well-written form, and has noooo idea how this is gonna go and what the result of this surgery is gonna be and is therefore very nervous about how “the phantom” will transform after this point:

If the doctors were successful, an intangible spirit would take the form of a true human, rather like a phoenix being reborn from its own ashes.

“I’ve literally just been brutally left in the dust I am hardly in any state to appreciate the beauty of sentences like this one. GO AHEAD, SHOW ME YOUR PRETTY PROSE, BUT IT’S A LITTLE LATE NOW ISN’T IT. IT WON’T WORRRRRRK I’M TOO BUSY HAVING BEEN SO THOROUGHLY OWNED BY A BAIT AND SWITCH THAT I’M LYING ON THE GROUND IN TINY PIECES”

To prove once and for all whether or not there was a true identity hidden inside him.

That’s nice but I literally just could not bring myself to care anymore. I was done. The fic ended in the last chapter. It was finished. “My version’s canon to me now.” That’s one way I could try to cope and pretend my heart & dignity can remain intact. Whatever is going on now it’s just an interesting au. My little self-indulgent version is what obviously happened.

This fic could do whatever the hell it wanted because nothing about it mattered anymore, I didn’t care, it’d lost me. I pettily decided at the time that Anything after Chapter 18 is the Wrong Timeline so It’s all meaningless as far as I was concerned!

Fulbright… Was he truly so angry that he would miss the moment of the Phantom’s awakening?

It’s kinda funny because in a sense, I was Bobby at this point of the chapter. Absent : ) Yeah, ok, I was reading on through my pain… But I was very. Emotionally absent, disconnected, or whatever you’d like to call it. In Chasing Phantoms I wasn’t particularly invested because of all the doubts I’d had. And here, my investment in however the series would continue dropped DRAMATICALLY because I’d been too invested in it. It was just like… “Ok. Might as well see whatever the hell happens. But nothing in this series can ever truly make me happy again as it did before. The line’s been crossed. Sayonara.”

…Yeah, rather bold words to utter just prior to Lifting Spirits.

But you baked the most perfect, beautiful and tantalising-looking phantomquill cake to me… and then you just… IMMEDIATELY destroyed it. You took a hammer to that cake. Threw it in the bin, leaving me desperately, brokenly reaching for the icing still smeared messily on the table, and when I did, YOU SLAPPED MY HAND AWAY. No siree I could not even have some of that icing. Ya blew it. I was done. UNFORGIVABLE. Line crossed. Your rights to the work were forfeit as far as I was concerned. It was all mine now.

Was he consulting with his trusted therapist, perhaps?

HOHOOH what if he did though. I can’t remember if that gets confirmed either way. PFFF WELL YOU CAN ADD THIS MESS TO THE LIST OF THINGS BENNY MIGHT KNOW ABOUT THEN???? HOW… INTERESTING!

Ok but also:

I SWEAR TO GOOOOOOOD THIS LINE ACTUALLY MADE ME SO? CONFUSED AND BORDERLINE, IF NOT OUTRIGHT SUSPICIOUS ON FIRST READ BECAUSE LIKE.

Okay, there was another much more direct Benny reference earlier this same fic. He’s actually NAMEDROPPED. I didn’t point it out at the time because I didn’t want to be too tedious about it and waited until the next reference like this, which I figured there would be, so that I could comment on MY THOUGHTS.

So waaay back earlier in the fic, when Benny actually gets namedropped for the first time:

What sort of advice would his therapist offer? He wished he could call the man and explain his situation, because Benny always had just the right answer to any problem.

Me at the time: wow, even the offscreen therapist gets a name? What a series! Is this series fleshed out or what?!

But even back then.

There’d just been. Such a handful of references to this guy.

Like, when the therapist first started being referenced it was all like “oh I’m so glad Bobby’s getting the counselling and help that he needs”.

And then he just

Kept being referenced after that

And with each iteration I just got a tiny bit more and more like

“O-okay…? We know Bobby is getting help… We are aware of it. And that’s great. I’m really glad. Not sure why the therapist matters though… weird focus on the therapist since it’s Bobby’s recovery that is paramount here, not the therapist helping him. Just not relevant.”

Like I was deeply impressed that such an unimportant character got named, yet at the same time it was like. Aaaaalright. He’s really not warranting this much focus. But okay then.

And now it’s Blackquill bringing him up, not Bobby. And SURE I guess the mention KINDA makes sense from him but the focus felt so fishy to me… “TRUSTED therapist”… why the emphasis on how great this guy supposedly is. C’mooon. It REALLY made me go HMMMM. I was just like… who cares though. There’s literally no reason to bring the therapist up he’s not connected to any of this or the plot at ALLL… He serves ONE purpose and that is to be the unseen background force helping Bobby to work through his issues. That’s it!

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 20

Oh… This chapter… is so good. Wow… Wow. Not much else I can say rn.

He’d never appreciated her. Now it was too late.

Simon saw no need to keep the truth from him. This plan had been the Phantom’s, not his own. He’d merely been roped into it as an unwilling accomplice, yet he refused to cover the spy’s tracks.

Ffffffffffffff

Yeah I was gonna go off about “idiot spy” again at this point but I’ve tired myself out from all the salt I’ve overloaded into this post so that my past pain can serve at least some kind of fun… But god. God. The phantom’s plan was PAPER thin just, ridiculously flimsy, yeah sure he came up with it on the fly whatever I guess but it like. Depends on Blackquill playing along and ffffffffffffff. Alright I guess maybe he figured Simon would play along if Simon was interested in shielding Bobby from grief as the phantom explained was his intent but god. Ghhhhhh. It just feels like insult to injury too cause he has this Grand Plan to protect Bobby which immediately proceeds to fail.

And it was enough to fuel his loathing further. He shook his head so violently that it made him dizzy, yet he managed to stop himself from raising his voice again. Shouting wouldn’t make his point any clearer. Instead, he stepped forward and crouched down before Fulbright’s chair. He grabbed the man’s nearest hand with both of his own. He was lousy with words and he knew that much, but he needed to at least try to communicate his thoughts- his feelings- before this misunderstanding was allowed to spread any more. “Do you truly not remember what I’ve told you from the day I first met you?” he demanded, his tone of voice more fierce than he’d intended but lacking in volume nonetheless. “You are nothing like the man who played the part of my chaperone. I would sooner take my own life than return to those days. You, on the other hand, give me another reason to live. I can tell the difference between the two of you and that makes all the difference in the world.”

[…]

“I love you, Bobby Fulbright, not the fallacy that pretended to be you. However, if you dare to call my feelings into question again, I will not hesitate to tear you to shreds myself.”

This is a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming for Blackbright right here. This is SOO good. I really admired and appreciated this shining Blackbright moment even amidst the whirl of everything else I was busy reacting to.

And… On that uplifting note, I’ll finish this otherwise ridiculously salty mess of a post. XD I’ll tackle the rest of this chapter & more beyond next time. This is already waaaaay too long anyway. But I knew that this post would inevitably be a massive one, and I had to essentially say Stuff You to the very notion of any self-imposed word-limits.

#riskiest post yet?#I've been kinda dreading this #AND Y E T #Oh I forgot to add 'long post' to help avoid clogging peoples dashboards if the readmore fails so:#long post

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part five of my Phantoms & Mirages commentary, @renegadewangs‘ fic series.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Haunted Specters, Chapter 7

Despite the earlier warning not to touch anything, his attention was drawn to a nearby little statue built out of gears and bolts. It was shaped like a man with a top hat. He prodded it and its arm fell off. That effectively got him to stop touching things.

LOOOL

A few of the guards by the exit had smiled at her- one of them had winked at her.

I WAS LOWKEY DISAPPOINTED WHEN THE INITIAL BREAKOUT SCENE ENDED and there was nothing like this. At the time I was honestly like “Stuff it! I’m just gonna pretend people noticed how cute that nurse was!” But THEN, you actually went back to it (when I assumed the scene wouldn’t be returned to) and made it so that I didn’t even have to headcanon anything. Past me needed just a little patience ;D What else is new?

After all that time she- he- they had spent lying in bed, the exercise was unwanted.

Ohooh! I’d forgotten all about the uses of “they” here. I’m pretty sure I felt kind of annoyed on the first readthrough, like “WAIT SO YOU’RE DEMONSTRATING AWARENESS AND USE OF SINGULAR THEY, AND YET…”

But nah, nah, it’s actually pretty cool what’s going on with the pronouns in this segment and the switching going on. “He” is applied to statements that only apply to the phantom and not the makeshift nurse persona. “She” is employed for the makeshift nurse persona because the phantom is leaning on, relying on that persona, as they reject their sense of self and always feel the need to be someone else. As the nurse, the phantom thinks about “the phantom” in the third person, to help further keep that comfortable distance, I suppose. And “they” is used for statements that are true of both the nurse persona AND the phantom. Therefore, interestingly enough, the “they” is technically being applied in both a singular and plural manner - simultaneously.

And also, this pronoun-switching fun and the distinctions that are subsequently made would simply not exist if a consistent singular they was used instead. The he/she/they all serve an important and relevant purpose. On the first readthrough, at least during the first phantom POV breakout scene, I was irritated by the switch to she/her and the references between he & she. I found it unnecessary and tedious when “they” would make everything go so much more smoothly. But I fully realise now that it would have been a lost opportunity of sorts for the reasons mentioned above (and willingly embrace it for other reasons too). I had also very much underestimated the level of the phantom’s investment in roles and how much he was “getting into” the role too, I suppose.

After all, at the end of this chapter, the phantom has absolutely no one to perform for or put on an act for, and yet it specifically says they will very much remain as the nurse until a different disguise/persona can be donned (although I guess it’s also a case of “remain in character so you’re already in character when you encounter anyone”). But it’s also the case of, just like when they were disguised as Bobby, they were compelled to act as Bobby. They’re remaining in-character as the nurse so that they don’t have to be themself. And so that extends to pronouns too, to fully complete it.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 8

The situation felt surreal. As if Simon were caught in some sort of lucid dream. To be sitting around a table with Fulbright and the Phantom, plotting out what could technically be considered a crime…

I keep trying to put into words just how WILD the situation our three main characters are in is, but Simon keeps beating me to it.

If someone had told him of this situation earlier on in the year, he would’ve laughed and called them stark raving mad.

ME BUT IF SOMEONE TOLD ME THIS IS WHAT FIC 2 WAS GONNA BE LIKE

Bobby Fulbright, Simon Blackquill and the phantom sharing an apartment together? Having a meal together?

What do you mean this isn’t a Roommates Domestic AU? What do you MEAN this is “canon compliant”?! You try explaining this to someone who’s played Dual Destinies and Bobby Fulbright’s presence – his being alive – would be confusing enough and require so much explaining. Let alone EVERYTHING ELSE. And yet.

It wasn’t like Dissociative Identity Disorder, because no matter how invested he became in his role, he still retained a sense of self that could be brought back at will. He adopted roles willingly and studied his subject beforehand- perhaps neurotically so.

Yeah, I was glad for this being brought up but I was focused mainly on the level of control that was had – of course, one of the major defining differences is that the phantom can actively choose to adopt and shed a persona, as opposed to having less control over it or slipping more inadvertently into a different identity like someone with DID. But I was still wondering about the level of self-deception that it involved on the phantom’s part at the time (post-fall), as discussed in my previous post. So I knew it was not DID and it was very, very different from DID, but I was still inclined towards treating Sam like another personality at the time sort of in the same sense you might treat different identities that can front in someone with DID… The key difference being that the phantom has full control over when Sam is present and still knows everything that’s going on even when Sam is in place. It gets kinda confusing to think about XD. You and your ridiculously good acting skills, phantom!! I also knew of course that Sam was more “fake” than the different identities of someone with DID. But it seems that I really didn’t treat him as fake enough. But just like it is for Bobby and Simon, treating Sam as distinct in that manner just made things easier to understand, easier to process.

The characters have been thrust into an odd sort of temporary mundanity in a domestic sense. It is that very mundanity which makes the situation so fascinating. The three characters are sectioned off from direct contact with the rest of the Ace Attorney universe, from other Ace Attorney characters, in their own special kind of liminal space. “Sam” is the only buffer in place separating Bobby and Simon from the phantom. It’s in their best interest to make Sam seem more real… I think… To an extent they have their own limited amounts of self-deception going on there in that regard. Without Sam, things would all fall apart way too easily, it would be all too easy for all hell to break loose, when it’s a struggle to keep the peace as it is. A kind of welcome reprieve. So all THREE characters, the phantom included, hold up and treat Sam as a separate individual. It’s beneficial to all of them, really. But, it kinda also helps the reader out too as they’re sitting there struggling to process this amazing turn of events. Helps the reader make some sense of Bobby’s, and then Simon’s cooperation.

Also sometimes it just felt “too good to be true” for me as well so it was like… ah, Sam. The author must want us to be focusing on him, and not our darling phantom, right? :P

The Phantom was truly devoted to being anyone who wasn’t his ‘true self’, which he claimed he didn’t have. However, Simon had learned that such claims were unsubstantial.

And this is just the beginning… I didn’t know it was coming, I didn’t expect it was coming. But it’s coming. I failed to notice just what this tiny thread was – things were going to get unravelled all the way, following this thread from beginning to end, fully revealing the phantom. Hm! This undercurrent was already firing up but I’d failed to take notice.

The scene with phantom tossing the gun over to Bobby is just, whoa. The whole dynamic of “character A tosses character B a gun and begs character B to shoot them” is really something in and of itself. But “character B is committed to justice and couldn’t do that” meanwhile character A is the phantom, a supposed enemy who is super hard to capture + kill…! Damn. It’s a gripping dynamic. It’s powerful. So many different forces at play, going up against each other.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 9

“Sam Specter does not need to prepare for burglary. The Phantom does.”

“And here I’d assumed you loathed being the person known as the Phantom.”

YEAH this kinda made me a lil “?” on a first readthrough. Simon’s reply most likely means “I’d assumed you loathed [not being in character as someone else and being forced to be “yourself”]” as opposed to “I’d assumed you loathed [being referred to as “the phantom”]”. (Or maybe it’s both?). It surprised me that the phantom would openly refer to “himself” as the phantom when not in-character…! This moniker, after all, was not chosen by him. It was a label slapped on him by other people, and he had absolutely no say in the matter. Well, I was so entrenched in a common characterisation of the phantom basically rejecting this label, or at the very least not being a fan, as it puts a label on him. The he that he claims does not exist. He’s most likely just humouring Simon here using the label that Simon uses and is familiar with, however, as opposed to having internalised it. But I was still surprised because the characterisations of the phantom that I’m accustomed to usually have them explicitly rejecting this label, to the extent that they would not even use it in this sort of context. But then I came to realise – that characterisation is not necessarily the “canon” one. The phantom is lacking emotions, so they would not necessarily have strong feelings like this, about something as simple as a moniker. Just as they do here, they can easily dodge the label and pretend it in fact applies to no one. A non-person. A non-person that they don’t care about. I realise that this interpretation is also valid.

He remembered Fulbright saying that the man had been in pain for eight months already and wondered just how fierce it was. Wondered whether this was karma’s way of repaying the Phantom for all his crimes. He could run from his past life, his emotions and the consequences of his actions, but not physical pain.

This is kind of, well, delicious, really. Karma actually managing to find a way, for a man so indifferent to everything… :P In the only real way the message can be communicated across. I approve.

Simon punched him again. And again. Desperate for something more than blank stares- anything that was genuine sorrow. Genuine regret for all the Phantom’s wrongdoings. Even genuine anger would do. Anything real and substantial.

Well damn. Doesn’t this just have another layer to it on a second readthrough?!

He initiates violence out of anger. But then. But then, the key motivator is prompting a reaction. The… The same base motivation of the other instance once you strip everything else away, yet under such VASTLY different circumstances. I’d also misremembered this as Simon only punching him once. But no. No. The text initiates the parallel ever more closely with multiple blows. GOSH.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 10

“What did he say?” Simon tried again, more forceful this time. “… He said the walls in this apartment aren’t as well insulated as we’d like.”

AMAZING.

Oh goodness…

THEY’RE IN. THE PHANTOM’S APARTMENT I am yelling. THE PHANTOM feels the need to intervene.

AND HE DOES SO AS SAM.

PERHAPS because he does not wish to do so as himself.

I DON’T THINK HE WAS ALREADY SAM PRIOR TO THIS POINT??? It’s implied that when locked in the room = the phantom, ventures outside of the room = oftentimes Sam. SO LIKE??? HE CHOSE TO BE SAM TO- that is the story I’m sticking with rn because that is so funny to me. And he does come out and be Sam after that cause I guess it’s “well I already switched to Sam so I Might As Well come out and be Sam for a while.”

It was the Phantom hidden behind that harmless façade- he knew it was the Phantom- but even so, he felt as if he were looking at a completely different person. Perhaps, in a way, it was a completely different person.

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN… The narrative putting forth the proposition that perhaps “Sam Specter” does have some sort of claim to personhood.

And then Simon apologises to Sam. And it just, feels like such an important turning point. Sam is a slippery slope. FOR ALL OF US.

It’s also kinda like, Simon knowingly playing along. For the sake of keeping up appearances. Keeping the peace. For the greater good. But does it run any deeper than that? Even the thought of apologising to a mere façade that the phantom is clearly behind is… hmm! It’s a very elaborate act for everyone, kind of.

Either way, Sam seemed content with whatever words Bobby had uttered. He smiled and hung his head for a moment, then nodded at Simon. Apology accepted.

IT’S FAKE REACTION BUT LIKE… THE NARRATIVE POSITIONING… hm!

Sam would join them for dinner and clean up after them, only to disappear into the bedroom once more.

EVEN THOUGH SIMON HAD KINDA SETTLED DOWN AT THIS POINT I WAS STILL BUSY REELING AT THIS ENTIRE SITUATION/DYNAMIC CHANGE THOUGH.

The. The PHANTOM (in a persona) would join them for dinner and clean up after them. (THIS SENTENCE IS JUST SO CASUAL!!! AND I’M LIKE! NO HOLD UP I’M STILL REELING LOL).

“Right!” There was a moment of silence, then the Phantom turned his head to face Bobby, shooting him a blank stare. A few seconds passed before the man seemed to be hit by a sudden realization. “O-oh! Right! The security systems! I’m on it!”

LOL this is just… so great. Well-timed comedic moments. GOD. When these three characters get together you expect someone to die. And yet we get to reap some comedy from this. I LOVE it.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 11

Every so often, Bobby would start tinkering with the watch again, his eyebrows contracting and the corners of his mouth twitching as information flashed along the display of the sunglasses.

CAN I JUST SAY, that it’s kind of amazing how you like… take imagery explicitly associated with the phantom and ONLY the phantom, and casually apply it to Bobby, cheerfully mixing up the symbolism? Obviously, to those who have played Dual Destinies, the image of “Bobby” having data rapidly scroll past glasses that he is wearing is an association ONLY attached to the phantom. If included in fanart, people will immediately know that this is supposed to depict the phantom in disguise, and not the real Bobby Fulbright. And YET, in your fic, here is the real Bobby Fulbright doing that EXACT same thing! Likewise, thanks to Simon splitting the phantom’s glasses apart during the Turnabout for Tomorrow trial when causing the gash in the phantom’s mask, “Bobby” without glasses is also very phantom-symbolism. Of course, not AS associated with the phantom as the gash in the mask, but the gash+lack of glasses is often used to tip people off. However! Right at the very start of this series it’s implied that the glasses are the phantom’s and the phantom’s alone, and that Bobby was not actually in the habit of wearing sunglasses at all! You go “wait a minute. It’s the other way around. If he’s got glasses, it’s the phantom! The real Bobby Fulbright didn’t even wear those!” That’s pretty damn cool! You also have the amusing reversal during Chasing Phantoms when Bobby impersonates the phantom. Even if it wasn’t the phantom he was specifically impersonating, it goes without saying that impersonation is something attached to the phantom’s character, not Bobby’s, yet it is something Bobby does at that point in the fic. And then, you know, there’s that scene much later on in the next fic where Bobby uses the Jolt of Justice on the phantom. I think I’m comfortable in saying that most of the fandom agrees that the real Bobby Fulbright would not have electrocuted Simon in court like the phantom did and that this was a specifically phantom act. But your fic has the REAL Bobby Fulbright use it, and the narrative even comments on the shocking (pun not intended) nature of it, where Simon muses that he “never thought he’d see the day” when the real Bobby used it. It’s just, so cool, and it’s also a really interesting and meta way of “striking back”, so to speak. After all, we NEVER met the real Bobby in canon. Since we ONLY ever get to meet the phantom, on a meta level, the phantom has truly stolen so much from him. His appearance, for most fanart. I’ve seen many people incorrectly use the name “Bobby Fulbright” as shorthand for “phantom”. The two characters get ridiculously blurred together since the phantom does not have enough to distinguish themself and was Bobby for the entire game. The phantom does not have their own tumblr tag, because “the phantom” is way too vague and applies to too many fandoms, so people throw it into “#Bobby Fulbright” and usually call it a day. What else can they do, really? I’ve been guilty of that myself I’m sure. Some fanart is quite ambiguous whether it depicts Bobby or the phantom. In much of fandom and in the eyes of players, the phantom has stolen much of explicitly Bobby symbolism for themself. But in your series, Bobby Fulbright gets to strike back! He gets to steal the phantom’s symbolism! He takes phantom imagery and claims it as his own, at least temporarily! It’s one of those things that gives him “agency” at least on a meta level that I’m impressed with. It’s also a great way of striking back at people like me, specifically, who tended to ignore Bobby in favour of the phantom. But I am not “forced” to acknowledge Bobby, because in this series it is not a zero-sum game. Rather, I am more than happy to do so. He’s a great character!

The conversation turned more heated. The Phantom- or was it the guard after all?- was shouting. The other voice seemed more calm. Collected. It held a forceful tone. There was a loud slamming sound, followed by more yelling.

Oh my god.. This is. So much on second readthrough. This is the child losing their temper and arguing back against their father. And Lex Sr knows. He knows that is his son. “more calm. Collected. It held a forceful tone.” Oh my GOOOSH this description… Like a SCOLDING. “I am the parent. YOU are the child! Do NOT argue back against me!” THAT’S WHAT THIS BRINGS TO MIND… AND THAT’S??? Probably how Lex Sr may treat it in his mind to an extent

AND I ALSO LOVE THE AMBIGUITY WHERE SIMON CAN’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT’S THE PHANTOM OR NOT, gosh.

“You had no right to take it! You had no right!”

I could not… BELIEVE this. At this point it’s implied, and later on we do know that this statement is absolutely right. And I think my main disbelief over this line stemmed from later if the scene is revisited(?), but I’m just gonna comment on it here.

Even if the phantom is right to say this, is right to be angry (!!!), the fact that it’s the phantom saying it absolutely floors me. It’s shocking and SURPRISING that the phantom could even UNDERSTAND, internally, a concept such as “rights”. And the thing is, he probably DIDN’T prior to this. It’s only when something happens to him, personally, when he is wronged, personally, that he understands.

It is the absolute HEIGHT of hypocrisy, to an incredible extent. The phantom had no right to kill all the people he has killed. He had no right to steal their identities. But he DID. And now, now, he claims “you had no right”?! I have no words. The phantom gets to just go around and wrong as many people as he wants, but the moment someone wrongs him he’s suddenly all, “wait, you can’t do that! That’s wrong!”

LOVE how rich that is coming from him.

“Shut up! Just shut up!”

A N G E R

Honestly luv seeing him just lose it.

“No! I… I’m not upset! I…”

You know what’s even better than seeing the phantom get legit angry for a moment? Seeing the phantom immediately denying it/in denial & confusion over that very anger and falling over himself internally all like “wait was I just angry??? CAN’T be. I am the Logic Man”. This absolute MESS of a man, I tell you, defying his own logic and being DEEPLY confused about himself whenever that happens.

“You’re going back to your cell until your memories return.” “No, I won’t! I won’t go back there!”

“Go to your room until you calm down and learn to treat your own father with some RESPECT.”

Teenage rebel son: “NO, I WON’T! SCREW YOU, DAD!”

The relationship between Luster and the Phantom was much more convoluted than Simon had anticipated. Far more intricate.

Yeah Simon, could you hold onto that thought? It’s uh. It’s just a little bit more convoluted than you think, even. :D

Man, things sure do… progress, huh, as all this is going on. You have Simon going in to search for the phantom, then Bobby… and when Bobby goes, Simon ultimately doesn’t stop him. It’s, aaaah.

Okay, what’s ALSO really great is that, with the Sequel Hook that Chasing Phantoms throws us, and then the timeskip that Haunted Specters begins with, one of the pressing questions on my mind is like “whoaaaa! Wonder what the phantom’s been up to all this time! The possibilities are practically endless! He must have been up to so much behind the scenes!” and then we get the answer to that question and it’s basically like… Nothing. He did basically nothing in all that time. Dumb loser got himself caught in a cell for several months. And that’s basically it. GOOD WORK PHANTOM, A+ ELITE SPY RIGHT THERE.

So, towards the end of the chapter when the phantom rushes back inside and there’s blood, that it was the phantom’s blood was my first assumption. But, of course, it’s the last thing on Simon’s mind. Because Simon still has him so pinned as a treacherous murderer. Having him be confronted with the fact that it’s actually the phantom who is injured, when he was so forceful and convinced otherwise (and the fact of it being the phantom’s blood didn’t even cross his mind!) is a nice touch. It’s a moment that sort of… further renders the perception of the phantom as vulnerable as opposed to emotionless killer. This vulnerability is something that Simon is forced to see and accept, even when he wants to believe and continue to think otherwise.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 12

What was worse- so much worse than the fact that the Phantom had gotten himself injured- was that Simon caught himself worrying. Only for a few split seconds, only in the spur of the moment. He was actually worried about that crazy bastard and the realization was enough to force him right back into a state of anger.

Oh heckin’ YES. The seed’s planted. There’s no going back now, Simon. Muahahaha!

The Phantom, who seemed to be growing tired of the one-handed fiddling, ripped all the buttons clean off his shirt with one quick vertical swiping motion. They scattered along the tiled floor and disappeared into various nooks and crannies. Simon could do nothing but watch with raised eyebrows.

TH SDKJNSDKLNSD VISUALISING THIS IS SO FUNNY

“… Should you not save that for a more practical use?” Simon questioned. “I assure you, this is quite practical.”

I AM DYING WHAT. SO IS HE LIKE… TRYING TO BLUNT PAIN/”RELAX” HIMSELF TO REMOVE A GODDAMN BULLET??? BUT UHHH. WHAt

Well, all those scars are a great reminder that the phantom has led one hell of a crazy life!

Oh. Oh my goodness. And now… Now we have the flashback. To the phantom’s earliest memory.

^Me right after the earliest-memory flashback, with really no idea just what was in store.

Okay. This flashback.

It’s raw. It’s brutal. It’s child abuse, right there on the screen. You really don’t hold back.

And what struck me was… If the phantom was born with their little-to-no-emotions psychological makeup, this really is pretty much how I’d imagine things to have been when they were small. …Ableist parents. If they’d had a “normal” home life and/or supportive parents/family, it’s highly unlikely they would have grown up to become the phantom in the first place, after all.

“It’s okay to cry in front of mommy. Go on, just… Just cry. Just once. Please. For mommy.”

This line is very interesting, and adds further nuance. It shows things aren’t clear cut, that in spite of how much the mother clearly cares, how much she wants to protect her son, and how much she cannot abide by the abuse, as understanding as she tries to be… And as opposite her treatment of her son is compared to the father’s treatment of his son… It is a clear hint that she still sees her son as abnormal, that there’s something fundamentally wrong with him that she wants to stop. She desperately wants her son to be healthy and “normal”. This attitude is clearly motivated by concern… She wants her son to be okay. She still loves her son very much. But her attitude belies a possible fear that maybe there is a little bit more truth in her partner’s words than she wants to acknowledge. It’s why she’s desperate to get him to cry. She wants him to change. She wants him to be different than he is. She’s worried. She’s clearly not happy with the way her son is. She wants her son to show distress. She wants her son to be distressed. For HER sake. Her prompts here… are still somewhat selfishly motivated, however driven by concern that they MIGHT be. That is what this particular phrasing very much implies.

Fundamentally, she does not wholly accept her son for who he is.

Throughout the whole flashback she is defending him, she is trying to protect him, only for us to see, at the very end of the flashback, that even she, deep down, is not fully accepting. I love the nuance.

Obviously, the flashback is only a tiny window, and there’s only so much it can tell us. And it presents the reader only with an extreme, specific circumstance to extrapolate from, but if we are going off of this and this alone to base things on… That was my extrapolation. Based on the limited information we are provided with here.

Because of course… There are many different conditions that children are born with in real life. Some of them are blessed with loving, understanding parents. Others aren’t. There are plenty of conditions that make children appear to be “abnormal” INCLUDING conditions which may not make them seem very expressive or expressive in different ways that are not considered normal. And this situation… is like that, really.

The phantom has suffered plenty in this series prior to this point. You might feel kinda bad for him at times, maybe! But it’s always been with a grain of salt, hasn’t it? “HE is the villain, HE is awful, HE brought this on himself, HE has ruined lives and therefore I don’t have to feel TOO bad!”

For the first time in the entire series, we are presented with a version of the phantom that has genuinely done nothing wrong. The narrative DEMANDS us to feel bad for him in this instance. We, at the very least, feel unambiguously bad for this child getting abused. The extent to which we choose to extend this “feeling bad” to the current version of the phantom is up for some debate.

It’s kinda like. You do feel bad for the current version of the phantom – it really sucks that this happened to him. It’s also something that happened prior to everything the phantom has done - the lives he has taken and ruined. So there’s obviously still that sense of “that really sucks, but you still suck, too.” And of course, it’s abundantly clear that this instance of childhood abuse in no way lessens the phantom’s crimes or how much he happens to suck right now. That doesn’t mean we can’t feel bad for him that this happened to him in his youth. And we absolutely feel bad for that child, who did nothing wrong, yet suffered a beating.

In this fic, prior to this point… From the start we are consistently shown imagery that largely contradicts our conception of the phantom’s character and place in the narrative. The phantom gets shown working together with Bobby for the two to escape. Suddenly, he is living with and working together with both Bobby AND Simon. The narrative invites him to come in and join them to become part of the central “trio”. The phantom is shown to be suffering, in pain, weak. It is such a far cry from the phantom from before, who was positioned as a powerful terrifying figure, the inflicter of suffering. The phantom did not get any POV segments until the very, very end of Chasing Phantoms. Here, in this fic, those POV segments are abundant. He has well and truly changed over from being an antagonist to protagonist.

And now, after all of these steps taken towards this point, the narrative takes it even further. Now the text is repositioning the phantom as – implanting that image in our minds – of the small, innocent child with a mental condition. The image of the phantom from the prior fic has already been largely torn down, but now it gets overturned even more as we are confronted with such opposing imagery.

But wait, there’s MORE. The narrative isn’t even done yet. It’s not even finished. Not quite yet.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 13.

“Fulbright. It may be that my ears are playing tricks on me, yet for a moment there, it sounded as if you hold genuine worry for that man.” Bobby didn’t deny the accusation. He didn’t even attempt to deny it. He only lowered his forehead to rest it against his knees, the corners of his lips twitching into some sort of wry grin. “… Don’t you?”

HE’S OWNING IT. And additionally he’s just like. Come on Simon. Don’t you? And this feels earned, given everything that’s happened. GOSH, IT FEELS SO EARNED. Because the readers aren’t the only ones who have been constantly confronted with a very different perspective/imagery of the phantom. These two protagonists have too!!! They are succumbing to the same fate as the reader – a turnabout of perspectives!

AND THEN. AND THEN. HERE IT IS EVERYONE.

One person supporting him. One person doubting him. It was familiar.

When I read this, I just… It was like my jaw just dropped. As it all… fell into place. As the realisation just HIT me. As I read on, and the narrative, in a rather justified self-satisfied manner, casually pointed out the parallels, built up over so many chapters… All of the little things. There were so many tiny things, choices that just didn’t seem to make sense at the time, didn’t seem to add up, and now… All I could do was sit there, stunned, as direct attention was drawn to this. The long-term game that the narrative had been playing.

In awe, I scrambled back to re-read over bits of past chapters at the time only to find that YES, the narrative, from Simon’s POV, had even actually referred to Bobby’s behaviour towards the phantom as “mothering over him”…

All I could do was shake my head ruefully and go “…okay, you win.”

As I’ve implied/stated throughout these commentaries, I went into this series weirdly harsh and reserved towards it for various reasons. And continued to be for the most part even WITHOUT any real justifiable reason for it. Even when my scepticism was being constantly broken down and shown to be misplaced. But the thing is, I’m never usually so harsh on other fics?

If you imagine it as a play showing in a theatre, I usually just go in and sit down and watch it like a normal damn person. Why on earth was I so… sceptical of this series??? It’s like the equivalent of me strolling in, standing at the back of the theatre with my arms crossed and internally going, “Well, I’ll give this a chance, I GUESS. Show me what you’ve got. But be mindful that I’ve seen VERY good performances in my time, however.” (And then, you know, you confidently went right on ahead and practically put on what is among the very best performances I’ve ever seen.)

But the simple fact of the matter was… Like, I’ve already gone over my reasons for feeling a phantom “disconnect” during the first fic. Reasons that all turned out in retrospect to be entirely unfounded. With this in mind, there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with Chasing Phantoms. The phantom it gives us, the phantom content it gives us, is all superb and on-par with the consistently good characterisation provided by the rest of the series. I just had the misfortune of letting my own misconceptions get the better of me at the time. Were it not for that, I would have been able to enjoy the phantom aspects of the 1st fic thoroughly on the first readthrough. Only got myself to blame!

But this fic? As you know, going into it I was already invested – it already held my full attention. And yet I’d still held on to some amount of completely unfair reservation that I do not, and have not subjected other fics to. It was wild, as if I was setting this absurdly high bar when it came to expectations that no other fic had been subjected to by me. But you were still more than ready to rise to that challenge. You took my already high expectations and rose above them, constantly outdoing yourself as the series continued to progress after this point.

Perhaps because I was already standing at the back of the theatre, I had remained there out of habit even as all my doubts were waved off. This meant that even when the fic clearly established it was very much on-par with others I had thoroughly enjoyed with no issues, WAY prior to this chapter, to this point of the story, I was still acting more reserved towards your fic (like a total SNOB) compared to others even when the quality/enjoyment was equal! I was blinded at the time from recognising just how on-par it was. I really don’t think I’m usually like that. It’s like I just happened to pick your series to “discriminate” against, one that could thoroughly show me just how wrong I was. It’s an important lesson I need to keep in mind, because taking this approach to things runs the risk of being unable to actually enjoy them, when if I’d just relaxed, I would have enjoyed it just fine. This risk did not come to fruition, because it got shut down.

All I could do was marvel at the brilliance of the writing, the set-up leading to this… It was the kick I needed to fully relax & sit the hell down to enjoy the show to its fullest potential. That I’d done nothing but stand around like a fool and underestimate, so it was time for me to see just what this series was gonna do. It had my full support. It was the point I truly realised, whoa, this is superb, and all other pretences fell away.

And that’s why all I could do was say to myself, you win, Author. You win. Well-played. I will do my best not to ever doubt you again. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.

All I can say is, the fact that I DID have so much reservation and doubt is what made the reading journey all the more wild and fun for me. I expected so little, and received so much… And that’s why I’ve been so open & honest about how unfairly I treated this series going into it. So that I can show just how much it contrasted with the reality of how great it actually is, how much it contrasted with my feelings later on.

...Aaand I’m cutting this post off here ‘cause of how long it is. Anything else I’ve to say connected to this chapter and beyond will be for the next post!

#long post #posts n RUNS #so much..

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 8 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 11

“Phwwh- that’s kind of hypocritical, you know. You aren’t following your own advice either! Can’t you at least pretend to be a nice guy?” “… Like this?” He allowed a smile of his own to dawn on his face. The most genuine smile he could produce, because he knew exactly which muscles to use for it. It put an odd pressure on the corners of his mouth, on his cheeks, on his eyebrows. His features weren’t used to showing emotion and struggled against it.

Okay anyway, wow… The Phantom and Mirage flashback scenes are affecting me way more than I think they did the first time around? I’m actually getting so upset. They’re making me so sad, which they DIDN’T on 1st readthrough. Because Mirage really cares and the phantom just – arrrgh. I just want Mirage to be happy. I just want her to be happy.

I think because the first time around I’d read the phantom’s lines flatly, seeing and expecting nothing, as is the reality – with the full knowledge that him saying things like “how are you feeling?” contain no real substance. And then when Mirage would jump to interpret them positively it would just make me adore Mirage and go “aww cute!”

But this time around I’m somehow a damn fool stupidly falling for the same trap? I’m suddenly eager to read SOMETHING into what the phantom says only to be nastily swatted away, not remembering the exact contents of their conversations. So when he said “how are you feeling” this time I was like AWWW HE’S ASKING THAT MEANS SOMETHING RIGHT?! (And expecting it to be not commented on, as a nice subtle little narrative touch that he cares MAYBE A LITTLE? JUST A LITTLE? CAN WE HAVE THAT but no, we can’t.) Only to read on and find Mirage asking after just that. And getting SHOT DOWN. Ouch. I WILL SIT HERE AND FEEL A LIL SAD AND STUPID NOW. For once, Past Me had things more correct than Current Me.

“I think… maybe I’ll volunteer for a mission in America too. If the superiors will let me go.”

I think this line even caught ME on the first time around. (And moreso on this time around because I just HAPPENED to be in a sentimental state when reading it). IT’S THE ELLIPSIS. THAT DAMN ELLIPSIS. If it weren’t for that I would have read it as flatly as intended I just. HNNNNGH.

“Right, right. Then… Maybe I’ll see you later, Teach.” “Good luck, Calisto.”

Couldn’t find a picture of a crying cat to properly suit my emotions. You are spared from crying cat for now.

Then again… Perhaps she had no idea what she was doing. Perhaps desperation was driving her to reckless behavior and she could no longer apply proper logic. How shameful.

This man still sees fit to sit up on his little high horse…

He allowed the other Interpol agents to grab him and lead him from the room. At the moment, there was nothing he could do to stop Mirage. Her eyes were on him, after all. They followed him until he moved through the doorway and rounded the corner.

AAAAA

Only got eyes for you, phantom.

But bro for him to know this he was looking at her too. He has more reason to be looking at her of course. But this is just an extended few moments of them staring at each other sdkndsknldslk ~They locked eyes with each other from across the courtroom…~

Imagining this is just…!

“Whoever said anything like that? Just because I pin a murder on a guy and get him the death sentence doesn’t mean I want to kill him.”

xDDDD

I’m HOLLERING at how great this is. How WILD it sounds. You better believe I took this part of the sentence and sent it to one of my friends without context on first readthrough, it’s just too good not to

“Agent Shi-Long Lang holds the keys to my handcuffs, isn’t that right?”

[…]

“Uh… Yeah, he does. If you need more freedom to use your hands, I could go ask him to unlock them for minute.” “There’s no need. I can make do with this.”

When I read this I was SUSPICIOUS. I was like. No. He asked for a reason. He wouldn’t just dismiss it like that would he. It’s BECAUSE Lang has them that he brushes it off. He wanted to see if he could get them off Bobby without fuss. I WAS RIGHT.

A few more clicks and turns of the watch’s dials, then the Phantom halted his actions. “Bobby Fulbright, for what it’s worth coming from my mouth, I apologize.”

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH

I APOLOGISE

!!!

Him apologising in and of itself is kinda huge though.

Bobby didn’t understand what the Phantom would need to apologize for. Not until a small needle popped out of the watch’s face. He didn’t have time to move out of the way. There wasn’t even any room to dodge in such a confined space. The watch was thrust towards him and the needle pierced two layers of fabric to touch his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what happened next- what exactly it’d done. An electric jolt, maybe. Something strong enough to knock a person out cold instantly, because the next thing he knew, a pair of hands was shaking him back into awareness.

THIS WAS S O FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE

THERE’S THIS BIG BUILDUP – THERE’S BEEN THIS HUGE BUILDUP RIGHT? OVER THE COURSE OF THE WHOLE LAST FIC PLUS THIS ONE SO FAR

And when the phantom is like “I need you to trust me” it feels like a poignant moment! Bobby takes the plunge! He makes that hugely important decision to place his TRUST in the phantom!

AND THEN IS IMMEDIATELY BETRAYED

And I just love it. It’s kinda hilarious. It INSTANTLY blows up in Bobby’s face.

Character development or no, huge buildup or no, the phantom is still the phantom ;D I just can’t get over this it’s such a huge moment like – if this was a TV show or whatever it would be played as a bait and switch to the best of the medium’s abilities. The music would swell. The camera would focus intimately on the phantom’s face and then Bobby’s face in turn. Bobby’s slight expression change – his expression softening - as he makes that decision to trust. To trust. And then in the blink of an eye it’s just – betrayal. AHAHAHA

Bobby’s eyes widened in shock. He whirled around to get a better look at the car. The door to the back seats was open and it was empty. The Phantom was gone. The Phantom was gone and Bobby was the one who’d given him what he’d needed to escape…!

THIS WAS ALSO SUPER HILARIOUS TO ME BECAUSE??? THE PHANTOM ESCAPING. AGAIN. I can’t believe… honest to goodness it almost felt like a running gag at this point with the sheer amount of times it had happened. As if this series is just a bunch of “the phantom escapes captivity in a series of increasingly creative and convoluted ways” ahahaha. I WAS LAUGHING

You have his initial breakout in Chasing Phantoms. You have his hospital escape, you have his escape from the human trafficking cell… and now this. It just felt like a hilarious amount of escapes and I was loving every minute of it. Like, I couldn’t even remember how many there were I just knew there’d been a LOT. Enough for me to joke to myself about it being a running gag.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 12

“Now you’re just putting words in my mouth. Shame on you!~”

Was so interesting to see the actual inclusion of a tilde to demonstrate the playfulness of her tone! AND. I’m just gonna. File this away. For Later Review Post reasons. 👀

It was a shame that Bobby Fulbright hadn’t been trusted with the keys for them. It was a shame, but considering how naïve the man had been, it’d save Interpol at least some face.

OUCH!

“[…] You think Shi-Long Lang will just send you on your way as if you were a friend departing on a vacation?”

This has gotta be like my third read of this chapter and I’m only now noting it to myself but huh! That’s, I guess, surprisingly creative phrasing for him as opposed to complete flatness and directness.

She looked hesitant for a moment, then closed the distance between them. Raised her free hand to his own shackled wrists, her fingers stroking down to the skin of his lower arms. Peered up at him with innocent, pleading eyes. Just behind her, he could see Simon Blackquill’s gaze darken at the gesture. He drew away from her touch, as he’d always done.

AAAAA

Okay.

So.

Here’s what I thought was going to happen around this point when the phantom said “leave it to me” and he and Mirage started plotting: I thought that, somehow, Blackquill was going to escape/get rescued (not by the phantom) – I obviously didn’t think Simon was going to be killed. Something – some outside force was going to intervene and stop that from happening.

But I also thought that Mirage and the phantom were successfully going to escape together, even if not everything was going to go exactly to plan for them, they would escape nonetheless. I was like oh wow… oh wow… they’re gonna be able to get away (somehow)…!

And that, then the next fic (pfff reading through blind here, I didn’t know how long this fic was or how close/far I was to the end!) was going to be about the search: tracking down Mirage & the phantom, who would now be stuck cooperating, however temporarily. (I think maybe? On some level my mind knew there was a “Tracking Ghosts” fic ahead and had just skipped over “Lifting Spirits” as a title entirely and/or blurred the two together. IT’S WORTH NOTING that for the vast majority of reading through this series, I didn’t know how long it was and/or how many instalments it actually had. Going into it, I knew it was long and that there was a fair bit of separate fics, then “kinda” forgot along the way. During Haunted Specters I figured it was a trilogy. And then during this fic I thought there was only four. I was just reading through chapter by chapter after all – not taking full note of the overall picture.)

So, that’s where my mind went in those moments of reading: Mirage & the phantom escape, next fic is centred on a) our main cast’s desperate search for them and then apprehending them, (yknow the usual) and b) getting to see some awesome Mirage and phantom interactions in the process during their POV segments. AND c) the phantom still on the run and trying to function, but being forced to come to terms with his small character development that he’s managed to make up to this point. Also his trying to keep on functioning with the debilitating knowledge of his identity actually revealed now and how he copes with that too.

Of course this largely glosses over things like the phantom’s severe headaches and the fact that he wants to be put out of his misery and escape them… But these were once again temporary thoughts that flashed through my mind when in the process of reading this chapter.

And with those theories I came up with on the spot in mind,

For a… For a wild bit of time here as well, I kinda thought the series would lean right into an uh, Phantom/Mirage direction… I mean… C’mooon… It’s called Phantoms & Mirages… Partnered right there in the series title…! That alone kind of made me feel like it may be an obvious choice if you HAD to pick a… hah… pairing to go with. ‘Cause the title. I mean I wasn’t expecting anything to truly come of it perhaps, but in terms of taking that direction, what I mean is purely in terms of subtext and shiptease that would stay underneath the surface. That would be clear as day to the audience, but would remain in an unrealised realm canonically. Or at least, become MORE prominent than it already was through their flashbacks and such… heh. (Also to be clear, I’m saying “because of the title” because I figure the series “Phantoms & Mirages” was named in retrospect after the fact, meaning… if it became the most prominent ship teased… it figures that would be the name of the series? XD)

That’s at least what I thought at the time! Not necessarily the direction I wanted for the series or would personally go with. I didn’t necessarily ship it either, but if the narrative wanted to give it a shot, I was still willing to read it and see where it would go. Well I was way more invested in Mirage on this second readthrough, so, weirdly enough, I found myself just outright shipping it EVEN WITH the full knowledge that it was 100% not gonna happen, neeeeever gonna happen. If anything, the full knowledge that it wasn’t gonna happen is what made myself don shipping goggles anyway ahahaha.

So I’m sitting here reading, momentarily thinking that Mirage and the phantom were gonna be running off together, and that things were leaning spyshipping…

Before the narrative went LOL nope

And then just went full phantomquill.

And then there was Simon Blackquill himself. Despite all the cruelty and the persistent investigations into the Phantom’s supposed true self, the notion of killing Simon Blackquill…- the notion of Simon Blackquill’s life ending… It hurt. It hurt his chest and it hurt his head. He whirled around, the barrel of the gun pointing at Mirage’s chest instead. She recoiled instantly, shock spreading across her features.

My brain, in like ten seconds flat:

And by “phantomquill”, look, I don’t mean romance or anything explicitly shippy or whatnot. You can put any spin you want on the duo – familial or WHAT have you. Phantomquill need not require actual “romance” in my eyes. It merely warrants the two characters having their lives intertwined and some kind of connection, having some kind of pull between them, whatever form that connection or pull takes. The both of them having SOME kind of influence over the other beyond mere hatred. The hatred and everything is there, but there’s ! A tiny little bit of something else too, whatever that something else might be. That’s one of the huge draws of phantomquill. This whole setup and the ensuing scene(s) are peak phantomquill to me – if it doesn’t constitute phantomquill. Then I don’t know what does.*

*(JUST GONNA LEAVE A LITTLE. ASTERISK HERE. DON’T MIND ME. I MAAAAY (see: will) BE RETURNING TO THIS IN FUTURE WITH A LITTLE BIT OF A DIFFERENT DEFINITION OF PHANTOMQUILL, SO UH – DEFINITION SUBJECT TO CHANGE IN FUTURE REVIEW POSTS…! But for now, for now, this is the definition I’m working with in this particular review post. The definition I was working with.)

“No!” She was beginning to look frantic, now. Pained and dismayed. “I’m on your side! I killed Lex Luster for you! That old son of a bitch- I punished him for you!”

I was kind of really of mixed feelings over Mirage on 1st readthrough around here cause like. Her saying this + her behaviour following did soften me up a little but at the same time. I WAS STILL KIND OF MAD AT HER BECAUSE LIKE? WAS this all just a game to her? Some kind of game to her? She’s the one who claims to have some kind of “investment” here in his best interests, right? But like. Does she really not realise just how much the revelation of the phantom’s identity felt like the very end of the line for him? He wanted to die. He had given up. He stopped eating and he – he was willing to die. He would have rather DIED. But Mirage, you ensured he was kept alive. You prolonged his suffering. You did that to him, YOU forced him to cross what he perceived to be an uncrossable line. That just feels super cruel! She made him suffer so much and now she’s claiming things like “I did it for you”! I was torn between, as I said, being softened a bit but also still being like WHAT THE HELL MAN?

The fact that she thinks they can just run off together is like – how much had something like that been part of her plans prior to this point? Did she have full knowledge that he was refusing to eat, watched the way he broke down (on more than one occasion), his intense suffering over the impending identity revelation and the aftermath, ALL of that, and seriously, SERIOUSLY think they could patch things up after so brutally crossing the line with him?! That he would even be in any state to, considering how it impacted him? How he had to be put on life support? Arrrgh, Mirage what are you doin girl! She planned to break him out or whatever, she says? Still planned to “look out for him” after all of that? Look out for what? As far as he was concerned it was all over. Did she not see that?

These were my primary thoughts but, there’s always some vagueness when it comes to interpretation, I suppose. The extent to which she might be spinning things because she is being held at gunpoint. The extent she might have either a) not realised the seriousness of the identity issue and therefore viewed the situation(s) way too lightly OR b) she may have been absolutely aware of how serious it was and using it to full advantage… he was utterly breaking, BREAKING and she knew that and went with it anyway. Because at least she was exerting power over him or something. Or maybe both. Or maybe despite knowing how serious it was she figured he could bounce back. He would disagree and yet, he still has the ability to conduct himself mostly normal which can in a sense be defined as “bouncing back”.

Also, also. There are some other things about this entire scene that can be interpreted in slightly different ways. How much of the phantom’s actions are fully premeditated throughout the whole scene vs on the fly. Let’s see… One wonders with what intent he entered to speak with Mirage with. Was he always planning on helping to free Blackquill? I doubt it, but that was the pretense with which he had Bobby free him. Did he ever plan on actually cooperating with Mirage? Or had he been planning on betraying her from the start? Perhaps he ultimately planned to shoot both of them. To wipe out two of his enemies, two birds one stone, and it’s simply that his subconscious would not allow that. Well there are a couple of lines we can examine for this.

“You’re right.” He gave a light nod of the head. “If you hope to fix the unsteady situation you’ve created, you will stand back and allow me to take over.”

So is this all just part of a ploy aimed at getting her to hand over the gun? Or is he actually considering cooperation to escape with her at this point?

Despite seemingly considering the matter, there was still an air of suspicion to it. She didn’t quite trust him just yet. He couldn’t blame her for that. He could only make it so she did trust him. He needed her to trust him.

Does this imply that he means to betray her from the start? That he needs her to trust him even though such trust would be misplaced?

Then she stepped aside, leaving him face-to-face with her hostage. He slid the gun around his palm until his index finger found the trigger. …Finally.

I definitely read this as him fully planning on shooting Blackquill, right here, right now. There is a chance it might be “finally got the gun” but nah. Nah. He wants to kill that man, on a conscious level. Doesn’t he?

For a split second, he considered validating that very same suspicion. He considered taking advantage of a possibility that’d likely never present itself again. To put a bullet through that skull and end Blackquill’s miserable life once and for all.

This might… Imply that he wasn’t actually planning on shooting Blackquill originally, but upon getting control of the gun like this, the thought then does cross his mind to actually go through with it. I don’t think this is the correct reading, but it’s fun to point out nonetheless!

So when he whirls around to face Mirage… What’s going on? Is he sticking with his original plan to turn against her? Or is he actually turning against her purely in the moment? Did he plan to shoot Blackquill and then Mirage, and skips to Mirage in this moment because he found shooting Blackquill to be too difficult for him…?

IF the phantom had been 100% planning on shooting Blackquill from the start, or, regardless of whether he originally planned to or not, if he had actually gone through with it in that moment wherein he considers it?

That casts a whole new shade of light onto him apologising to Bobby earlier on – of his betrayal of Bobby in escaping. That would be unbelievably huge and unbelievably devastating. Simon Blackquill would have died as a consequence of Bobby trusting the phantom – a trust that resulted in the phantom’s escape. The phantom’s “for what it’s worth, I apologise” would mean absolutely nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. A completely worthless apology, because Bobby would have lost Simon. Betrayal in the highest degree. It means that Bobby would have trusted the phantom, and then the phantom would have gone right ahead and just shot Simon in response anyway. Was probably actually PLANNING to do just that.

For the record, my reading of the scene is, he didn’t have any intention of freeing Blackquill, and that most of his actions during this scene ARE spur-of-the-moment

She was the closest thing to a friend he’d ever had. His hand began to shake. Another headache was building- one that was much stronger than before. “Do not shoot,” Simon Blackquill’s voice reiterated through the pain. He was faltering. He was faced with two of his greatest threats, the both of them defenseless, but he couldn’t bring himself to harm either of them.

He was more broken than he’d assumed up until now. …He must’ve been broken.

THIS KILLS ME. THIS ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME. THIS IS GENUINELY HEARTBREAKING – HIS OWN THOUGHT PROCESS IS GENUINELY HEARTBREAKING BECAUSE HE JUST FAILED TO KILL TWO PEOPLE AND HE THINKS THAT ACTUALLY MAKES HIM BROKEN. He truly believes that. I cannot get over how sad that is, that their lives have been spared and he thinks that is a bad thing – a sign that he is DAMAGED, somehow.

He saw Mirage move and his first instinct was to prevent her from reaching the weapon, but she wasn’t going for it. She darted straight for the door. He couldn’t stop her.

I feel so sad because she’s just. Running. Getting the hell away from him. Because he just tried to kill her.

All in all, though. This chapter – and the next one – are god tier. They are just god tier.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 13

Just thought I’d let you know, it’s around this point that I sent my friend this message:

Ahahaha. I just couldn’t DEAL with how great it was! Really! Like, it was causing actual overload, hence the “stop! Stop!” xDDD. Like, “It’s okay! It’s okay! This has already proven to be awesome beyond words! You don’t need to do any better than this, I promise! I may not be able to take much more greatness!”

Were it not for the Phantom speeding out the door without a second thought, Simon would’ve considered offering to break the chain tying the man’s handcuffs together. Then again, perhaps leaving them like this was for the best.

IT CERTAINLY IS FOR THE BEST SIMON. Doing that would noooot have ended well. We’d certainly have no Lifting Spirits, that’s for sure D: It would be Bye Bye Phantom!

Vaguely, he wondered just what sort of a physical state the man was in right now. He hadn’t properly eaten in two weeks, surviving only because Interpol had forced him to, and whether his shoulder had fully healed or not was another matter entirely. In a way, the Phantom hadn’t been well since February, because whatever chance at a complete recovery was cut short in one way or another. It was a miracle he was capable of running at all.

Man I loved this being noted cause it really goes to show just HOW… I don’t even know the right word… (persistent? Difficult to defeat?) that the phantom is. This guy can really just keep on going despite EVERYTHING ahaha. Legend.

There was only him and imminent danger, and then, all of the sudden, there was fluent cursing from nearby. The section of the walkway that the Phantom was lying on had tilted towards the street as well.

“fluent cursing”…

His shackled hands were raised over his head but were unable to reach anything to hold onto. He was slipping towards the abyss that lay below Simon. Slipping towards that same death that Simon was fearing for himself.

I felt so in the moment reading this. I could well and truly imagine the level of danger – the panic. I could barely look away from reading because this was just. Whoa. Life or death stuff going on right here.

He wouldn’t let the Phantom fall. Not again.

BRILLIANT TO LINK IT BACK. TIE IT IN PERFECTLY WITH THE GUILT THAT SIMON FELT. BRILLIANT. THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. I WAS HANGING ONTO EVERY. WORD.

There’s not even anything I can add or say about this whole scene, this whole dynamic of Simon holding on and the phantom protesting. It’s perfect.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Peak Phantomquill. When I think about phantomquill. Scenes like this one are exactly what I think about. It’s the pinnacle. You don’t get better than this. You just don’t.*

*Terms and conditions apply.

And then the “Fool Bright”… is the killing blow. It just kills me. With how GOOD IT IS GOSH THE EXECUTION OF THIS WHOLE SCENE IS AMAZING.

Through the dim of his mind- of what little emotion had seeped through- a desperate little voice had cried out for help. It hadn’t cried out in exact words, rather in feelings. His subconsciousness, perhaps. ‘I’m here,’ it had said. ‘I’m right here. Find me.’

You know what this made me think of?

‘Please come back,’ the voice had insisted. ‘Don’t leave me like everyone else has. I’m right here. I’m in pain and I’m right here.’

FEELS

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 14

“Fulbright! Don’t just…-!” –stand there with your mouth open as if you were attempting to catch insects? That wasn’t quite the right command to give. Too many words. “Help!”

Omgg

“What’s foolish about it? Rehabilitation is the best kind of justice! Criminals atoning for their misdeeds by helping others… It’s a much better fate for them than execution, don’t you think?”

So at this, I kind of just narrowed my eyes again once more and went “no, no, don’t you dare, story. Don’t you dare. He needs to die, remember? SO MAKE SURE HE DOES…”

BUT AT THE SAME TIME… This whole flashback segment with Simon and “Bobby” was nothing short of sheer brilliance. I couldn’t help but be impressed by it… If there was ANY way to introduce this rehabilitation concept into the story, to just throw it out there – this was it. So I was still in defensive mode, absolutely, and I was still fighting against it, but… The writing of the flashback scene is just so good that I kind of crossed my arms reluctantly and went, “WELL… I… I SUPPOSE I’M LISTENING? JUST A LITTLE?” How could I not grant the story at least a small little platform upon which it could make its case… For me to at least crack one eye open in attention… Even though, for all intents and purposes, I still absolutely wanted and believed it was necessary for the man we call the phantom –– to die. To be executed.

Anyway… also, the scene of Bobby and Simon holding onto each other, and the phantom… is so wonderful. I hope they stayed like that for minutes.

They sat there until the Phantom stirred in his hold. The movement managed to kickstart a semblance of Simon’s awareness and his hands released the spy’s shoulders. Even so, the Phantom didn’t push away from Simon’s chest. For a good fifteen seconds, he didn’t even speak. And then the words finally came. “Prosecutor Blackquill…”

Oh wow… OH WOW.

He became even more aware of just how closely the Phantom was pressing up against his chest and felt his brow furrow in dismay. Bobby said nothing.

Okay all I’m gonna say is… this is kinda… really funny in the sense that… Bobby’s perception of this situation and Simon’s perception of this situation are uh, VERY different.

“Wait! I’m not ready! I’m not ready to die! Wait! Let GO of me! ”

Oh goodness… Oh goodness… He’s not… He’s not ready to die anymore either… Which also changes things.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 15

Ted Tonate and LaSoote go so well together – FIT well together, now that you mention the whole dismantling-designing thing. And I loooved their interactions when disassembling the bomb.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 16

Bobby hesitated for a moment, not quite meeting Simon’s gaze. “… There’s more.” “More?” “I asked Athena and… She said that birth defects count as extenuating circumstances.”

Me: HMMMMM NARRATIVE. NARRATIVE. I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS…

Simon didn’t like where this was going. Not one bit. With that, his feelings on the matter didn’t seem quite so trivial anymore. “Fulbright. Whatever line of thinking you’re attempting to follow, I suggest you abandon it.”

IT’S SO WILD TO ME HOW CONSISTENTLY ALIGNED I AM WITH SIMON’S POV FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF THIS WHOLE SERIES. Like. I barely need to say anything because Simon’s POV this chapter already has it all written out for me.

This whole line of thinking was so optimistic that Simon was sure it couldn’t be done.

The entirety of Lifting Spirits – (even the title is optimistic sounding!) – is just. The entire thing feels so optimistic and idealistic and – and it’s a thing that actually happens and it’s all so lovely and waaaah. We’ll get there. But yes, I, too, was sure it couldn’t be done. idealism & optimism way too off the charts.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 17

To see whether a man who prided himself in having ‘no emotions’ would step down from his pedestal and become like every other mortal.

I LOVE THIS SENTENCE – THE WORDING OF IT – so so much you don’t even know. Like this is one of those sentences – one of many throughout this series from your writing – that was just left ringing in my mind well after I’d finished the chapter.

If Simon had thought the Phantom looked bad during the last trial day, it was nothing compared to this moment. Dark lines were set under his eyes, which were scrunched shut in some sort of lasting cringe. Simon was sure it was the regained memories that were to blame.

>:D hehehe…

It was Fulbright who ultimately broke the silence with a half-hearted attempt at a cheery disposition. “Hey. How are you feeling?” “Leave.” The Phantom didn’t bother to raise his head or even open his eyes. He uttered a single word and it was that.

When I sent my friend this snippet, she had such a perfect response to it that there’s nothing better I could possibly come up with, and with her permission I’m posting it here:

Oh my god… I’d totally forgotten about the phantom just taking it upon himself to roast them all in turn in this scene… It’s soooo good. This whole dynamic, of people – of characters being invested in someone who does NOT want it, who actively REJECTS it – just the whole image of anyone wanting to help the phantom and his SEVERE rejection of it is SO much fun.

“No one should have to ask. We were…” Bobby trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. “Worried?” The Phantom asked in a tone of voice that seemed almost spiteful.

Sdkjbdakjadkj BLESS THIS FIC.

I just, love the scene. It’s very good. I know I’m just a broken record of saying “I love this” at this point, have been for a while, but it’s because it’s TRUE.

… The person sitting before them could be someone. “Who he will be from now on is a dead man,” Simon began, once again earning him a mean scowl from Athena.

OMG I ACTUALLY LAUGHED AT THIS ON THIS READTHROUGH

Anticipation seemed to rise as the Phantom rocked himself back and forth in a calm pace. His face was still hidden behind his hands, fingers ruffling his uneven locks so forcefully that they might as well become entangled in a mess of frizzed blond. When at last he spoke, it was so quiet they could barely hear him. “Do you really believe it? That someone like me could still become human?”

THIS IS…….. DARE I SAY IT……… C-CUTE……

I’m calling him cute and you can’t stop me

They couldn’t predict what sort of effect removing the bone sliver would have. Even if the doctor was sure the procedure was safe, brain surgery was a tricky thing. It could just as well leave the Phantom paralyzed. Or perhaps the system responsible for emotions was damaged beyond repair after all this time.

Ohh I’m glad this is taken note of here, because I felt like the surgery was being portrayed as a little too easily straightforward a little closer to the fact in the narrative!

The Phantom drew one more ragged breath before responding. “Then… I will try.”

AAAAAAAAAA :D

Also just also. Wow. Can’t imagine how it went when Palaeno went in to visit him afterwards. xD

Here’s… the thing? During Haunted Specters, things like Bobby’s behaviour towards the phantom was odd and FUNNY. Fun to think about. And the dynamic certainly is still pretty amusing, but… There was some kind of tipping point along the way. A tipping point that was passed way prior to this point. It’s… kinda less of a joke now… Bobby’s caring behaviour is well and grounded in the story, in the setting… The “liminal space” left behind, discarded long ago. And Athena by his side with the same mindset…!

So, continuing on, we

[glances at the next chapter]

AAAAAAAND THAT’S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR TODAY FOLKS.

S-see you… next time…!

#long post

5 notes · View notes

scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 10 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

So moving forward, as I continued to read on, there was a backdrop of salt, apathy & hurt overshadowing everything as established in the previous post. But I was still reading on because “might as well see what happens I guess”. Starting Vanquishing Mirages chapter 20, I was also nervous & intrigued. Nervous about how the narrative was going to go about this and what the result was going to be… So I read on kind of with bated breath.

And it just remains in that interesting stage for a little while, the uncertainty stage where I don’t really know where it’s gonna go, for those first few paragraphs, as I’m waiting and reading on to see how it turns out… and then it takes a downturn when the negative emotions just start POURING in tsunami style and everything just starts crashing down horribly. I go quickly from nervous/intrigued to kind of horrified as it strikes me just. How. Traumatic and overwhelming the entire experience would be for someone who has never really had to deal with emotions of much severity their entire life. I’m just oh no… oh no…….. oh nooooo….. I didn’t foresee this at all, so distracted by so many things up until this point, and yet it makes perfect sense. But it was a real punch huh. This was awful, what a disaster. This was not good… Which is basically what Simon says:

What a mess. What a complete, total and utter mess. […] Perhaps this was punishment for playing god. Perhaps they’d flown too close to the sun. Perhaps they were Frankenstein, responsible for giving birth to a failed creation.

Me:

[hides away in a corner because I think we broke him lads]

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 21

The Phantom blinked, shedding a few more tears as he did so. Perhaps he hadn’t quite processed Simon’s words. Perhaps he hadn’t quite processed the situation in general. He swallowed and sniffed, then tilted his head backwards.

Am I meant to be picturing this in anything less than stunningly beautiful and fluid animation? Because I am not picturing this in anything less than gorgeously rendered animation.

Whatever it was that’d held Bobby back from touching the Phantom before, it was gone now. He placed a hand atop the Phantom’s clenched fist, hoping it might soothe him. “Whoah, it’s okay. It’s fine.” “It’s not fine! How dare you claim that it’s fine?! YOU did this to me!”

AAAAAAND WE’RE BACK LADIESANDGENTLEMAN HELLO THERE NARRATIVE FRAMING OF HIM AS A CHILD: ACTIVATE

HELLO! this is exciting and new!

“Calm yourself.” “I can’t! I CAN’T!”

He really wouldn’t know how to or be able to!

AND THEN AT THIS POINT IT JUST HIT ME

THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE

HE ACTUALLY WOULD HAVE THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY OF A CHILD BECAUSE HE’S NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO MATURE EMOTIONALLY, DUH, CAUSE HE LACKED EMOTIONS SO MUCH, THIS IS BRAND NEW TO HIM H

Narrative framing of him as a child during Haunted Specters REALLY paying off even more right now! We’ve already reaped so much from those seeds. But now! Oh boy!

“We would not honor such a request even if it were within our capabilities. Congratulations, Phantom. You are now free to tussle with emotions just like every other human.”

MY FEELINGS/REACTION TOWARDS THIS WHOLE SITUATION CHANGED SO FAST IT WAS LIKE:

“Oh noooo… this is so awful and terrible for him this is too much I can’t handle th… W-wait. Phphhw. Heh. Hah. HahahaHAHAHA MUAHAHA YEEEES ONE OF US ONE OF US DEEEEEEEAL WITH IT HAHAHA SUCKERRRRRRRR!”

The Phantom’s wide eyes followed Fulbright out the room. Apparently, his departure served to rile the man up even further. “Get back here! Bobby Fulbright! You get back here and end my suffering RIGHT NOW!”

This is just so good this is just so good hohoooh!

The Phantom sniffed and huffed. Flinched and scrunched his eyes shut, his breathing turning to more helpless sobs. Tears continued to run down the side of his face, disappearing into locks of hair just above his ears.

Hey yeah just saying it again. This is nothing but pure unadulterated animation mode for me. With REALLY GOOD animation. A really gorgeous 2D anime style.

Simon hesitated for a moment, then placed a careful hand atop the Phantom’s closed eyes. They felt soggy and unpleasant to touch. “Focus on the sound of my voice and nothing else. Focus on my voice and breathe.”

IT’S WEIRD CAUSE LIKE. I HAD VERY FRESH PHANTOMQUILL WOUNDS AT THIS POINT OF READING BUT. Right up until The Kiss prior to the surgery I had been very firmly in the parental-child dynamic mindset camp and thoroughly enjoying myself. It was the kiss and stuff that I found jarring at first BECAUSE of that before getting up and moving over to phantomquill mode, only for it to turn out to be fake phantomquill. You’d think it might actually be hard for me to go back to “Oh the phantom is a child and Bobby and Simon are his parents” after the phantomquill fiasco but in terms of mindset, it really wasn’t difficult because I’d only been in Phantomquill mode comparatively VERY briefly before it got destroyed. I was already thoroughly versed in the ways of the parent-child dynamic heh and had spent waaaay longer enjoying that lens. Being so used to it, it was easy enough to switch back over to it.

Do NOT get me wrong, I was still VERY upset over it, yet somehow I could still deeply enjoy the familial dynamic between Simon and the phantom in this moment.

So I basically was still grumbling angrily about phantomquill under my breath while somehow simultaneously excitedly going “OMG SUPPORTIVE DAD SIMON!!!”

Me: yeah. Yeah. You’re really just Piling On that family dynamic after that huge mess with the kiss and the baiting??? Just showing me blatantly to my face how wrong I was to ever read romance into anything? You have the gall to?

Also me: …I still love the parent-child dynamics from this series so FIIINE I do appreciate this scene. I appreciate it a lot, actually. HMPH

Talk about being of a conflicted mind. But there’ll be more mention of that to come.

…Oh, and yeah, I have still been referring to him as the phantom, haven’t I? Well that’s simple: it’s what the narrative is still calling him, so I continue to call him by that title until it is dropped by the narrative itself

Besiiides, for all intents and purposes, during this small gap of time until it changes, he is NOT quite Lex yet, because he has not yet accepted the name and nor has the narrative itself.

So we get this awesome little window which is just, he’s still “the phantom” if that’s the only title we have before “Lex” is accepted and taken on. Pure, unfiltered “Phantom” + Emotion and it’s sooo special. Which… yes… Phantom + Emotions = becomes Lex but… argh, it gets confusing very quickly for me. :P

The question seemed to startle the Phantom for some reason. … No, not the Phantom. It was Lex, now. That notion still felt foreign. Perhaps Alexander would be more suitable. More formal. Less personal.

I WAS SOOO THANKFUL FOR THIS ON FIRST READTHROUGH. I was thankful for how jarring Simon was finding it too (because in that respect he certainly wasn’t alone lol – I wasn’t alone). I was thankful that the narrative hadn’t immediately switched over to saying “Lex” after he woke up from surgery. Oh, and I’d even been thankful waaay back when his name being Alexander Luster Jr was first revealed that the narrative switch hadn’t been made then either. I mean, it wasn’t for OBVIOUS reasons but like… Technically that’s his name. So the narrative could have tried making an attempt at it and I was just glad he was still always “the Phantom” even when we knew what his name was when he was born. Cause he sure as hell didn’t accept the name back then.

But I was SUPER thankful for Simon deciding to call him “Alexander” too. It was kind of a real godsend BECAUSE LIKE. The name “Lex” was so heavily entrenched and still attached in my mind to that super mean bald dude that got killed off. It was a name that therefore felt “ugly” that had been attached to a man with an “ugly” personality. And whoever this man was that woke up from the surgery, it sure as HELL didn’t feel like his name. I was kinda like “buddy. If you want me to start calling this character “Lex” you’ve got another thing coming.” So having “Alexander” instead was a relief that helped A LOT at the time lol. It was sooo much easier to switch to. And Simon going for the more formal variant is such a Simon thing to do anyway. XD

Also???? Alexander… Alexander Luster… felt like such a pretty name actually???? BUT I MEAN. I am the first to admit that I am probably extremely biased on that front. And that I’d probably just. End up thinking just about any name applied to him was “pretty”. LOL.

But yeaaahhh although I kinda had a hard time with the “Lex” business at first, after a little bit of time it became easy to accept, as it usually goes with these things. Now I’ve got 0 problems with it. Lex is Lex!

“That makes you nothing more than an ungrateful child,” Simon grumbled, finally stepping away from the window to take his own seat.

Every time the narrative makes a DIRECT reference or draws a DIRECT parallel to him being a child it feels like it adds another 3 years to my lifespan.

“Ahahahah! I-I c-can’t! Hahahahah! Ahahahahah! Irony!~”

…

MEOWZY. YOU. YOU. DID THIS. YOU MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO PUT A TILDE THERE. H.

You did that. You did that on purpose. What did you doooooo. What’s HAPPENING

I can’t… I… just needed to point this out and take you to task over it. GOSH

The i-intent… the intent of this in the narrative

As if to say,

Look… Look at how… endearing

As if to say,

“Yes, you not only can, but SHOULD find this endearing”…………

Ohooooh it’s too much IT’S.

It’s death by tilde is what it is. You didn’t. Need to. You could have just left the words and such as it was. But you threw it in, intentionally showing off how we’re supposed to take this just in case there’s any mistake.

You’re under arrest.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 22: Epilogue

Still, as he raised the headphones to his ear, he heard enough. It was indeed playing music- and what horrid music it was. “-When skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” “Where the devil did you get this?” he demanded, virtually throwing it into Alexander’s lap.

BRO THIS IS SO UNREAL.

The sheer image of the (former) phantom listening to music was so wild and then it jUST

Alexander’s fingers began to play with the headphones, twirling them around in his hands as he spoke. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve listened to music before, but it’s like I’ve never really heard it. …Does that make sense?”

OH MY GOOOOOSH. THIS REALISATION HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK. THIS HAD NOT OCCURRED TO ME… AT ALL! BUT IT’S SO…! :D HE CAN LISTEN TO AND ENJOY MUSIC NOW. Get immersed in it. That was the most fantastic realisation to me. No, you don’t understaaaand, you see, as a child, getting immersed in listening to music was so central to me that as a kid I’d come up with a bunch of story ideas involving things like other planets/alien creatures that would revolve their entire society around music, or alien creatures that have no concept of music and get introduced to it and subsequently immersed in it for the first time. This just hit so close to hoooome, oh my goodness, I hadn’t remembered or thought about those memories/story ideas that kid me had for maybe a good ten years, and this fic suddenly reminded me with the headphones business. It’s really not related to the fic to mention but I’d looong forgotten about all those scenarios I’d thought about and it was so cool to be reminded. :’D

BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE FIC-

Me like three chapters ago: WAAAAH, NOTHING THIS SERIES COULD EVER DO COULD EVER MAKE ME HAPPY AGAIN!

Me reading this chapter not too long afterwards: HMMM OKAY I AM KIND OF VERY HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Oh and it just occurred to me: my guess is the person who “overslept her own execution” was Cammy Meele!

And now, I’m gonna start talking about Lifting Spirits! But at least just for this post, I’m gonna change things up a little and not segment my comments chapter-wise or comment on little things, but rather talk about stuff pertaining to the earlier parts of the fic as a whole. This is necessary because my thoughts were an unbelievable mess and were so terribly bunched together – that is, thanks to reading through it relatively fast, I guess everything got kind of mixed together, so individual reactions to individual parts of it are a little less well-“defined” than was the case with the prior fics at the point of reading.

...I don't know if I could ever do Lifting Spirits justice. I CERTAINLY don't do it justice in this post. Believe me, I want nothing more than to just sit down and gush endlessly about it because that's what it warrants, but for the time being this post seems to be too busy trying to outline just how much my own disposition threatened to botch and ruin it for myself. XD

But it will get better in future review posts, I promise!

Yeah, my thoughts were a contradictory, convoluted, conflicting mess. There was SO much going on at once for me with regards to how I was responding to the text on first readthrough. It’s hard to know even where to begin. So let’s try and tackle some things in Lifting Spirits:

1 - The Transition from The Phantom to Lex

…It does such a number on my brain on multiple levels. XD. IT MESSES WITH ME SO MUCH, it’s a straightforward concept enough in theory but my brain overloads and threatens to shut down when I try to wrap my head around it. XD

I love the phantom, so my instinctive bias at first was to try and cling to the label of “the phantom” as long as I could until it’s finally surrendered.

So, I’ve said already that I was kinda nervous about how this transition was gonna be pulled off. There’s always SORT OF a risk involved when going ahead and giving the phantom an identity and making them no longer the phantom – it kind of wanders straight into the Original Character zone. This New Character who used to be the phantom, in such cases, does get a bit of a complimentary “boost” of my investment in them by virtue of having been the phantom, but beyond that, the new character in the phantom’s place must learn to pull their own weight in the story. They cannot purely rely on having been the phantom – they must develop on their own and give the audience due reason to be invested in the new character. And/or, they must still have some ties connecting them back to having been the phantom too, even with their new characterisation and personality.

So yeah, I had literally no reason to be even remotely nervous. Lex is fantastic. And can very VERY easily stand up in the narrative on his own accord. Not only that, but it’s just… genius… the extremity of his emotions is, ironically, the very thing that connects him back to having been the emotionless phantom…! Because it drives home repeatedly that he really has had NO experience with this level of feeling due to his past. It’s a total pendulum swing to the other end of the spectrum and I love it SO damn much.

Regardless of whether he’s Lex or the phantom, he’s still my favourite character.

1.1 – The phantom as Lex/the phantom becoming Lex

Man, this fic.

I swear to god.

I keep trying to type out my thoughts and it’s so hard to be coherent about it.

Lex is… “the (former) phantom”. So I’ll use this phrasing to really drive the point home. Because such a huge amount of what happens, of what’s going on… derives its impact from this very important fact. From the unbelievable contrast. The seeming absurdity of EVERYTHING given who he was.

The former phantom laughs at stupid jokes, gets given a stash of sweets and a Jokes & Riddles book thanks to Bobby, gets goofily absorbed in a phone game………… The list just goes on.

You are doing this. You are making me read all this stuff involving the former phantom with my own two eyes, I… I…… This flippin’ portrayal. Almost feels like it should be illegal xDDDD

1.1a - YOU ARE WHAT IS KNOWN AS AN ENABLER

I have been… a fan of the character known as the phantom for many years now… I started playing through the Ace Attorney games in December 2014, and played Dual Destinies in the first half of 2015. I’ve had years to jokingly talk about the phantom ironically in an “awwww just look at them, awwww how innocent/”cute”” way, obviously knowing damn well they’re not.

And I basically went into Chasing Phantoms with, on some level, an attitude of “haha you can TRY to make me hate the phantom, I know you will, but I won’t let you”

Big mistake, to head into this series stubbornly guarding a totally opposite area of phantom perception compared to what I SHOULD have been guarding against.

And then you just

Came along and took the character

And did this.

It was fine at first in like, Haunted Specters and then Vanquishing Mirages. It was a big joke that everyone was in on. It was a joke and it was funny and I was laughing along with it. Albeit. An evolving joke.

And then Lifting Spirits just

It jUST

All of a sudden I had to be like wait a minute. I was just like whoa, whoa. Hold up. You can’t – WAIT a minute. No WAIT

I walked into this trap with no defences prepared. I’d walked into this series going “I’d like to see you try and make me truly hate this man, but it won’t work, I’ll make sure it doesn’t work out of spite” and now all of a sudden this was all happening at once and I had to suddenly try and backpedal dramatically out of the trap and be like wait wait wait no this is, this is, he was?? A bad guy was he not? Wait what are we-

The scales were tipping too far for my liking – too far in a direction I was ALREADY biased and predisposed towards and I wanted to stop it but what defence did I haaave

It’s like the narrative was poking me and going “Hey. So. Your favourite character. He’s pretty great, right? Right?” and I’d shake my head and try my best to go, “No… No! He isn’t – this isn’t right! What! There has to be some kind of mistake! This is a thirty-seven year old man who has killed people WHAT IS GOING ON”

And this is also, at the same time, set against a backdrop of me still stubbornly trying to cling to a mindset of not wanting this man to be able to cheat death or the finality of execution.

So here’s the first of many contradictory feelings I was having at once:

“This man must be punished and therefore I can’t abide by such a lighthearted portrayal” vs “I love this man so much and every single moment of this lighthearted portrayal is GOLD and I love it sooo much”

2- The Phantom VS Lex

The portrayal of my favourite character was making me rather pleased, but it felt way too good to be true on three different fronts. Firstly, the amusing absurdity in and of itself made it hard to process this was Really Happening, the levels of it feeling “unreal” were so much and I was so stunned and I was sincerely struggling to process it at first. Secondly, it just felt so catered to me (LOL) and “too good to be true” that I felt like. Like. The narrative surely couldn’t be doing something so great. A similar kind of inability to believe this was “really happening” which had cropped up during Haunted Specters. And this was heavily fuelled by, THREE… My pesky little reactions to our old friend, Fake Phantomquill.

The hurt that I was feeling over the phantomquill unfortunately seeped into and tainted my perception of other parts of the story and caused me to get irrationally defensive in many respects at the time. See, as I’ve implied, part of what was so very appealing to me about Legit one-sided phantomquill coming to fruition just before the surgery is that it felt like the final step in taking the phantom further down from his pedestal and that much closer to “joining the ranks of humanity” just in time for surgery that would have “the phantom” cease to be altogether and allow him to make the full transformation. It wasn’t so much about phantomquill itself as it was about the notion of the phantom being attracted to someone and causing such a big, stupid mess as a result, of being a fundamentally flawed human being but flawed in a vulnerable-

who claimed to be made of nothing but pure logic only to, in his final moments as the phantom act in the most illogical-

It’s silly, I know. First of all, if anything, it can be kind of arophobic, depending on how it’s done, to use “attraction to another person” as a proof or demonstration of a character’s core humanity. It’s just… That’s what I’d tricked myself into thinking the set-up was for, I guess. So when the set-up got so thoroughly negated and didn’t come to fruition, it felt like it had intentionally done the opposite with a bait and switch, and that instead of showing that even the phantom can fall from his pedestal in his final moments before “the phantom” ceases to be, it then seemed the goal was to demonstrate with a great sense of finality that actually, he is despicable and will never be anything but despicable and that we never should have expected anything more up until the very end.

Except… it was silly of me to feel like this first of all seeing as the phantom had already demonstrated during the narrative plenty that he very much does have the capacity to care about other people in his own very odd way. He DID go through character development. Just because none of the feelings he demonstrated were based on attraction doesn’t diminish what he did demonstrate. The Fake Phantomquill Kiss in and of itself is proof of caring because he was ultimately trying to protect Bobby.

But at the time it was hard for me to see that through my hurt. It’s an irrational perspective to take but I wasn’t being rational because of that hurt, and I was distrusting as a result. So, strangely enough, the phantom “dying” as the “filthy criminal he is” after the little show he put on, and then becoming Lex and waking up from the surgery with all these emotions kinda felt to me almost like it was throwing “the phantom” and all the progress as a character he’d made under the bus – of all the potential he’d shown prior to surgical interference.

There was just so much emphasis in the narrative on separating “the phantom” from “Lex” which was fair enough, but it felt to my irrational wounded self like “the phantom” was suddenly being characterised as “Pure Evil” in order to further the ends to which Lex could then be set up as “good”, when we’d previously spent around 2 fics delving into how, while the phantom is very much a villain and none of his crimes can be negated, there is more to him, and he’s, at the very least, not Evil 24/7. Almost like “the phantom” and “Lex” were being pitted against each other which I realise is stupid because c’mon, how can Lex as a character throw the phantom under the bus when Lex was the phantom? When he is merely another huge step – leap – in the character’s evolution? The transformation into Lex can’t negate any of the character development HE made prior to that point, prior to the surgery.

Another important thing to note, which I am extremely grateful to the narrative for, is that Bobby cared about the phantom not only before the surgery, but before the bone sliver was even discovered in the first place. And Simon had also been slipping back then, although he was not nearly as far-gone as Bobby was. But such a thing really helps acknowledge the phantom as a character… and does help reiterate that he wasn’t completely worthless and/or “not worthy of anything” prior to becoming Lex.

I did come to realise that I was, in fact, just needlessly worrying over pure semantics and that there was no point in doing such a thing. Regardless of how one might construe it, this man, Lex, was the same person in the sense that he has all the same memories. There is still a continuity of existence. The "death" of the phantom was only the death of the label itself, the mindset, but the man who had carried the title had still lived on. It allowed, helped that man to shed the worst of what had been part of him before and opened up so much for him.

It's just, the notion of a character actively striving to be good and overcoming themselves vs a sudden fix that gets externally applied, and it felt like any previous striving, however miniscule, threatened to be rendered obsolete by it.

But this was a misplaced notion of mine if there ever was one because not only does it not override previous character development, but the previous character development was necessary for not only making the surgery and its outcome possible, but also a crucial part of the character's arc that can't be overlooked narratively speaking. It is not Lex that characters like Bobby and Athena abruptly start believing in. They'd already believed in him before he was Lex, and they are who campaign for the surgery in the first place. And it is the phantom himself to give the final push and the go-ahead to make it happen through his consent, a vital component to it being made possible. It wasn't erasure, it was never about erasure. It was about continuity and expanding and developing on what was already there. (And I know as well as anyone that the extent of the outcome, and this progress wouldn't have been possible without some form of external interference. It was necessary.)

Whenever I did manage to reconcile it, it was just about the best thing in the world haha.

So yeah, most of this was basically me outlining my distortion of the text and then debunking myself…

I swear my opinions/thoughts/feelings had just about splintered in a million different directions mostly thanks to the shadow cast by my stupid phantomquill pain. XD. My mindset almost threatened to regress to harbouring that foolish unfounded sense that the author didn’t truly care about “the phantom”, and only cared about the person who woke up after that surgery instead. Which is nonsense because Haunted Specters & Vanquishing Mirages clearly indicate otherwise. Why bother spending two entire fics focusing on the phantom so much if the author didn’t care about the phantom? If they wanted to just do away with the phantom and replace him with someone new that they did care about, there were way shorter ways to go about it. I mean, I knew that it was the dumbest concern and that it was incorrect to even consider at this point, but that didn’t stop me from foolishly wasting time on it. It was so hard to believe & trust the story was so attuned to me after being “betrayed” that I semi-adopted/saw the more “hurtful” interpretation as the more “realistic” one.

But reading Lifting Spirits over again so far only reiterates what I realise was the case back then: I only had myself to blame, I was the one vastly exaggerating the perceived distinctions that were being made between Lex and the phantom in the text not only because of my own latent concerns but because of how personally mindboggling I was finding it.

And all the while, I’m SIMULTANEOUSLY borderline scolding the text for how seemingly soft it’s being on the (former) phantom and thinking that the author’s phantom bias is showing. Talk about doublethink!

I had been thinking this entire series that I was perfectly safe to “gush” over this man, because at least the author knew what was what, at least the author still had her senses about her and wouldn’t let it go too astray or let it get out of hand. IF THE AUTHOR IS TREATING HIM LIKE THIS AND I’M TREATING HIM LIKE THIS… THEN WHO’S DRIVING THE PLANE?!

And keep in mind too that I read through Lifting Spirits… Rather quickly. So I’ve got all of these tangled thoughts I’m trying to process at once meanwhile I’m just breezing through the chapters, not really giving myself any real chance to sort through my thoughts and untangle the messes that had formed.

I was somehow managing to feel overwhelmingly thrilled and yet hurt by the narrative at the same time. AAAAALLL the contradictory thoughts and feelings. Contrarian mode was on, it seemed, as I tried to juggle so many opinionated stances and arguments at once that cancelled each other out:

“The phantom was a human being too, with his own issues and he ALSO had (limited) feelings DON’T IGNORE THIS” vs “how dare you portray someone who used to be the phantom, a remorseless killer unworthy of a second thought, in such an endearing manner” vs “ohhhh I love this endearing portrayal so much it’s pure SUSTENANCE to me it’s so entertaining & amazing & makes me so happy” vs stubborn attempts to still cling to “make sure that execution goes ahead, this man still isn’t allowed to escape death” with a slight backdrop of that phantomquill salt-fueled apathy & denial. I was somehow now on the defensive and trying to argue that the phantom hadn’t been 100% despicable and yet also trying to retain the stance that the man in his place still needed to die because the phantom had been 100% despicable. YEP. Walking contradiction. Absolutely wild.

Oh also I just loved Lex in his own right too on top of all this, not just because he used to be the phantom. But because he’s LEX.

It’s all very confusing, I hope I didn’t confuse you too much. XD

Oh, also:

When it came to me feeling that the phantom – or rather, the person who used to be him – was being portrayed too lightly by the narrative given his history – Chasing Phantoms renders completely obsolete any possible argument about the series “skewering one’s perception of the phantom too far off-base”. It renders completely obsolete any possibility that the author was not “aware” of the true depths of his despicableness when going for this angle.

Chasing Phantoms’ existence, to me, makes Lifting Spirits all the more awesome, and strengthens its power. “The Phantom that Lex used to be was ruthless and terrible and awful and caused so much damage and destruction” is not just an offhand acknowledgement that gets referenced back to – it was portrayed firsthand in the first fic, in the series itself. It’s like it goes out of its way to drive home that undeniable fact that the phantom REALLY sucks, and yet Lifting Spirits exists anyway, even with FULL acknowledgement of that. I love that sooo much. It just straight up embraces it and doesn’t try to hide a damn thing. This was who he used to be. This is who he is now. That’s just how it is.

As already established, Chasing Phantoms felt like another universe when I read Lifting Spirits – way before then, even. It was SO hard for me to remember that, he was in fact, actually portrayed in a negative light. It’s actually really great to me that the series didn’t start with Haunted Specters – it did not seek to make the phantom sympathetic or whatnot from the start. He gets to clown around as the villain he truly is for an entire fic before any transition over to protagonist even begins to take place. The story doesn’t briefly go “yeah so we all know the phantom is bad and all obviously but…” and moves straight on, it spends a LONG time elaborating on HOW bad the phantom is back at the very start before proceeding on to anything else.

By the way, I’m aware it would be stupid to make arguments about “not knowing the full extent of how sucky the phantom is” purely on the basis of it not being demonstrated firsthand if that was the case, because like, everyone already knows, so we don’t need to be shown. But I’m merely pointing out how cool I find it that this series does demonstrate it firsthand anyway, because it just further crushes such potential arguments.

If Chasing Phantoms did not exist it would be almost easy to trick oneself into thinking that the full extent of the phantom’s villainy was not truly being acknowledged by the story, given Lex’s portrayal by the narrative (despite him being a “new person”, the fact remains that he was the phantom.) The Phantom is – was - very much a villain, and we know very clearly that the current portrayal of that man who used to be him doesn’t minimise that.

There was another big thing I wanted to talk about connected to much I’ve discussed in this post, but I’ll have to leave it for the next one! I had to cut sooo much from this I’m sorry, I actually did have a bunch of small comments from the beginning of Lifting Spirits. Well, until the next post, which will also get to the middle of the fic too. ^_^

#long post #if this is all over the place it was because my thoughts were all over the place sdjsdnkjsdkj #ghhhh

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 7 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Going into Vanquishing Mirages, I’d first like to comment on the title. To the uninitiated, those unfamiliar with the story and the characters, the title can seem pretty vague. Indeed, I’d taken the title to be akin to referring to/describing an abstract concept at first glance when I was not in-the-know, and it’s only upon getting up to the fic that it’s suddenly like “Oh. It’s literal. It’s meant to be taken literally.” The same can be said for the title of the overall series, “Phantoms and Mirages”, which I have already commented on. I’d always thought it was a nice play wherein there are two similar words, but one is referring to a concrete, actual character whereas the other is only for the abstract concept. Only to find out, no, they’re BOTH words that refer to concrete, actual characters. It feels kinda cool how suddenly the title fully “reveals” itself like this and takes shape, but only once you’re far enough into the story.

The transition from Chasing Phantoms to Haunted Specters is one wherein it absolutely feels like you’re starting a brand new story in a series after finishing the first one, not least because of the timeskip. Things are also mostly wrapped up by the end of Chasing Phantoms except for some loose ends. But they stand out as two very separate stories, or separated stories, albeit of course still existing within the same series with many running threads between the two. But as I finished Haunted Specters and began Vanquishing Mirages, I barely took note that I was finishing one fic and starting a new one, as the transition and connection from one to the next felt so seamless. It simply felt like I was continuing to read an ongoing story. This is also aided by how well and truly hooked and onboard I was at that point – I barely took note that the transition was one fic to another as opposed to one chapter to another, because my primary priority was just clicking through to keep on reading! I don’t think I really paused reading at all. I just headed straight from one into the next.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 1

Oh, it’s already so good. It’s already so good. Hitting the ground running.

The way you connect/contrast flashbacks/scenes taking place at different points is. Masterful. For some reason, I hadn’t actually remembered the first two scenes of the fic as being shown one after the other. More phantom hypocrisy, more phantom hypocrisy! Augh. I feel bad for Mirage.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 2

“Hey… Will you still recognize me? After they change my face? After they change it a hundred times over and we run into each other in the street, but you won’t know what I look like… Will you still know it’s me?”

HER SAYING THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO SAD IN A SENTIMENTAL WAY.

Okay, I also love the narrative noting how Mirage’s laugh ALSO stirs Gumshoe somewhat. Because of COURSE it would. Aaaaah.

His mission as Bobby Fulbright was on a need to know basis and the only one who needed to know was he himself.

HMMM! Interesting. I hate that Dual Destinies is kinda… A little unclear on this front. Also. It was so great to see a flashback to the phantom as Bobby in the Dual Destinies timeframe, too.

Okay. Okay. And the thing about these flashbacks is just. The phantom making Mirage laugh. As a consistent running thread. He can always make her laugh. And that’s a consistent running thread that’s shown for good reason! I mean, granted, making Mirage laugh is really, really easy, so it’s no surprise that she basically laughs in pretty much every scene she’s shown in – and these are phantom flashbacks. But STILLLL

PHOENIX’S REACTION TO KNOWING FRANZISKA IS PROSECUTING IS SO GREAT

“You know what’ll help? Running a quick lap around the block!” An excited grin washed over Athena’s face. She slammed a hand down on the table and pushed herself to her feet. “Here, I’ll come with you for support! Vámonos!”

“Hang on, what about dinner?” Phoenix asked. “How long do we have until it’s done?” “Three, maybe four minutes.” “That’s plenty of time! C’mon, Bobby! I’ll race you!”

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH BECAUSE THIS IS JUST, PEAK ATHENA. How is this not a canon exchange. PLUS I just love the mental image of Bobby and Athena racing around the block together because it just feels so them? I never knew I needed this before!! But yesss just let them run together ahaah! The image of it just makes me so inexplicably happy.

HOHOHO PHOENIX PICKING UP LOCKS ON THE MAGATAMA IS SO SO GOOD AHAAAA. GOTTEM

And this scene was intriguing for me simply because the narrative, as it has done so very consistently throughout the course of the series, follows Simon’s POV perspective. Of COURSE it does. Phoenix is a marginal character at best in this series. But it’s just really cool to read because Phoenix is just about the most central character in the ace attorney series, the one whose perspective we see from the most. And yet here, in this scene where the magatama reacts, we are seeing it – him – from the outside. Simon, naturally, is sceptical of the magatama whereas we, the readers, already know that it’s dead-on. As I read through the exchange that Simon and Phoenix have with each other over it… it was so easy to imagine myself holding the DS in my hands, playing through this scene in an ace attorney game AS Phoenix, being on the other side of the exchange and watching Simon deny it and say that the magatama was faulty, and knowing just as much as Phoenix does that he’s wrong. Things like this almost feel like a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead type deal, where the “plot” and the “main characters” – at least if you are going from how the main games classify it – casually wander in on and interact with the “other characters” every now and then before wandering out of the picture again and leaving them to it – the “other characters” being, in this series, the ones whose perspectives we have been sticking with the entire time, when it almost feels like Phoenix should still be at the centre simply because of how normalised that is in the game series.

It makes me think that if you were to construct an Ace Attorney game (or rather, case?) around the plot of Vanquishing Mirages, it would – obviously – just look so dramatically different, even if the exact same stuff is happening, we’d be Phoenix interacting with the others. Instead of actually getting Simon’s POV as the narrative gives us, the player would have to rely on Phoenix’s interactions with characters like Bobby and Simon to piece together what is going on with them. You could still set up the main kind of plot and demonstrate the, for example, internal conflicts Simon is having, but you’d be getting the information much more “secondhand” – through Phoenix, as is usually the case in the games. It goes to show that you can tell the same story from so many different perspectives, and even in main ace attorney games there is so much else going on that the player obviously never gets to see. You can take a marginal character and just show how much is going on behind the scenes when Phoenix’s plot isn’t intersecting with theirs. But yes, this scene truly made me feel like we were in the midst of an ongoing Ace Attorney game, yet as an outsider – only getting the “side-character” POV through Simon.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 3

yet he was willing to put that paranoia aside for the sake of Bobby’s emotional health. Why was that not the same as caring?

I’m STILL thinking real deep about this whole scene, daaaaamn. You really have the ability to inspire – to make someone really think with your writing.

THE ENTIRE SCENE WHERE SIMON AND FRANZISKA MEET IS

Perfection.

AND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S… WE’RE ONLY ON CHAPTER THREE??? WE’RE ONLY ON CHAPTER 3 AND EVERY CHAPTER SO FAR ALREADY FEELS ICONIC IN ITS OWN RIGHT. I guess this is a result of me not paying too much attention that this was a separate fic because SOMEHOW this scene just felt like it came later on. Probably because it’s just so damn good it feels like it gets “built up” to or we have to “wait” a bit for it, but no, no, we are only on chapter 3 and already the blessed readers get to receive such an absolute TREAT.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 4

“Ahh, Fräulein von Karma. How nice to see you again. Or perhaps I should say… Es tut mir gut Ihren süsses lächeln wieder zu sehen.” “Halt deine freche schnauze!” Von Karma barked. There was another loud whip crack and a cry of pain before she stormed off.

I love this exchange very, very much because it still works and adds something to the moment regardless of whether the reader understands German or not.

For those who don’t understand German like myself, the brevity of the exchange and the contextual clues are enough to give a clear picture of the gist of what the exchange contained even though we don’t know exactly what it was, so the overall understanding of the scene is not impacted in any way – and it’s not difficult to make use of the internet to find out an exact translation if we want to.

However, this exchange also kinda feels like it says, “if you don’t know German, stuff you. Get good. Deal with it.” And like… as a non-German speaker I 100% respect that. German speakers can read through this seamlessly. But if I want to know the exact translation, I need to interrupt the reading experience however briefly to look it up for myself. Otherwise, it’s just like standing in the scene in reality, wherein whether or not you understand exactly what gets said depends on the reader, personally. It feels so natural that this – language switch/exchange would happen as it does.

There’s many details I enjoy of the Prosecutor Lobby scene that I won’t go into them all. But wow, everything, with the introduction of Franziska and all these other characters brought into the margins of the narrative, makes the narrative feel like it’s seriously ramped up a notch in build-up to the trial.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 5

The brunet looked irritable and kept sending frowns towards his two colleagues, who were both stubbornly ignoring him. Simon suspected it had to do with them being unable to tell Apollo about the true nature of the trial, leaving him to believe that they would genuinely wish to defend the Phantom.

I can’t imagine how the conversation would have gone when Apollo initially found out…

“Anyway…” The judge slammed his gavel down once to call for everyone’s attention. “Court is now in session for the trial of the international spy known as the Ghost.”

AHAHAHA LOVE THIS. A+ Judge. He Would

“Objection!” called a hoarse voice.

PHANTOM OBJECTING PHANTOM OBJECTING PHANTOM OBJ

Okay. In all honesty. I absolutely love the phantom’s objection just getting steamrolled over. Him being so very patronised. By EVERYONE. Yesssss.

It was Lang who interjected next. Lang, who placed a firm hand on the defendant’s shoulder to shove him back into his seat. “I’m afraid so, Your Honor. Like a starving, dehydrated mutt, he could almost be called delirious at this point. Why, just earlier this morning, he attempted to take responsibility for the death of Mr. Presley, also known as The King. He claimed it was a political assassination.” “That is a lie,” the Phantom snarled loudly. He was ignored.

THIS is so unbelievably fun/funny to me, I’m sorry. I don’t know how much we’re SUPPOSED to be amused by it, but I just take way too much enjoyment from the phantom’s situation in this particular scene ahahaha.

Prior to this, through Bobby, the narrative sets up the whole “it’s not right to use the phantom against his will like this.” He had given his consent for it previously. That consent has clearly been revoked. And there is that sense of “:/” about the situation prior to this that Bobby is feeling. BUT. That’s isn’t the primary lens I viewed this particular scene through. I was instead moreso inclined to just cackle evilly at my fave. THE ELECTROCUTION THAT HAPPENS AFTER IS SUPER HARSH THOUGH.

Lang’s words and behaviour just refuse to take him seriously – intentionally set up to strip the phantom from the ability to be taken seriously by anyone else. ROBBING him further of any power he could possibly still have at this point.

Haunted Specters essentially saying “the phantom = Bobby and Simon’s child” is patronising in the best way. This is also patronising, in-universe this time! And it’s just the best!!! Yes!!!!

The phantom just being shut down at every opportunity is something I love way too much. get rekt

The phantom: I AM A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL I AM GUILTY-

Just about everyone else/the narrative to an extent: aww sure you are, sure you are hon. How cute. Little darling simply doesn’t know what he’s saying. Must be a little cranky. You know how little ones can be sometimes.

It’s a sucky and harsh situation but. I guess I’m kinda awful in just wanting to see him suffer up to a certain point.

Apollo Justice looked almost satisfied.

YES YES YEEEEES I LOVED THIS LITTLE LINE, this detail thrown in. HAHA YES. AND THE CONTRAST OF HIS REACTION WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S TOO.

Because there’s actually at least one more line to this effect: love all the references to Apollo NOT being happy with this situation.

By her side, Ambassador Palaeno looked shaken. He kept wringing his hands in a nervous manner. Even more behavior that struck Simon as odd. Why did this turn of events bother the man so?

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, the CONSTANT references to Palaeno’s suspiciousness through Simon’s POV were SO great, and I was like, “Hahahah Simon it’s ok, he’s just Like That. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

BUT THEN THE NARRATIVE SEEMED TO FOCUS ON HIM SO MUCH??? To a suspicious extent. More than necessary beyond merely highlighting “haha he’s so unnecessarily suspicious to Simon.” And YES it’s because it’s Simon’s POV and Simon would be taking note a lot of this Very Odd Fellow but the constant references back to Palaeno’s shiftiness had me narrowing my eyes and going, “Okay, okay, hold up. WHAT’S going on here. There might actually be something to this. Simon possibly might be onto something.”

The suggestion that Palaeno is perhaps “stricken by guilt over something” made me think that, obviously he is not TRULY guilty of anything serious, and is obviously a nice and well-meaning man, but perhaps through his well-meaningness he might have had a hand in accidentally causing something bad and it’s just beginning to fully dawn on him. I was thinking perhaps the narrative wanted to pull a deliberate doubletwist on us – Simon thinks the man is obviously suspicious and perhaps guilty of something. The reader knows that Simon’s suspicions aren’t true, and knowing Palaeno better see him as completely innocent and as Simon just misreading him. But the narrative could totally dupe the audience very effectively, if it wanted, if Simon on some level turned out to be right. But in such a manner that still manages to preserve Palaeno’s true character. Or hey. It’s fanfiction. If it really wanted there could be a sudden “LOL Palaeno turns out to actually be bad” twist snkldsnlsdlnj

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 6

“Yes! Yes, that is exactly what happened!” the Phantom called, seemingly awakened from his stupor. Lang silenced him with another electric jolt- if one could call that silencing. It caused another hoarse cry of pain, after which the Phantom fell from his chair with a bang that resounded through the courtroom.

BOOOI U DESPERATE…

“No!” The spy jumped to his feet, slamming his hands down on the wooden rail before him. His eyes were wide, but even so, they twitched. He looked absolutely frantic. Whatever was inside that envelope, it was enough to rouse him from his state of defeat and send him hurtling into alarm. “As you can see, the defendant recognizes this piece of evidence. I ask that the court keeps this in consideration,” Selestia remarked. “I… No, I…” The Phantom seemed disoriented for a moment. As if he wasn’t sure what to say or do. It didn’t matter. He’d already betrayed himself by raising his voice.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU PLAYED YOURSELF PHANTOM

Lang and Fulbright both grabbed him to push him back into his seat, but he continued to stare up at Belvedere with wide eyes.

AAAAAAH MIRAGE… LOOK AT HIM JUST LOOK… YOU’RE REALLY ABOUT TO DO THIS TO HIM HUH

“You’re in no position to offer any sort of advice, Phantom. You’re in no position to do anything but follow the orders I give you. Now be a good boy and stand still for a moment.”

NOW BE A GOOD BOY AND- AAAAH

“You need to understand your place in this world. You aren’t a human being, you’re a heartless monster who needs to be locked away for everyone’s good.”

AAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. SO NEEDLESS TO SAY – AS THIS IS JUST PRIOR TO THE REVEAL – I DIDN’T PICK UP ON THE DOUBLEMEANING OF THIS THE FIRST TIME AROUND?

The Phantom leaned forward, once again placing both hands on the rail before him. His head was bowed, a curtain of jagged blond hiding part of his face. “Don’t. If you have even the slightest shred of decency… The slightest shred of honor… Don’t give that to them.” “Please let it also be noted that the defendant is pleading for me not to show this piece of evidence, adding further truth to the notion that the results indeed involve him, thereby further increasing their relevancy,” Selestia remarked in a rather dry tone of voice.

KINDA HATE MIRAGE. KINDA HATE MIRAGE. WHICH IS, WHEW. I LOVED HER SO MUCH I THOUGHT SHE WAS SO GREAT AND THEN SHE JUST.

AND THE DSKJHF PHANTOM APPEALING TO DECENCY AND HONOUR I just. He’s got nothing left he’s desperately appealing to senses that he does not possess. That everyone knows he does not possess. That he KNOWS everyone knows he does not possess. BUT HE’S DOING IT ANYWAY.

“I will repeat my earlier warning. Once you divulge the information regarding this sociopath’s DNA results, he will attempt to silence you, as well as everyone else who hears it,” Selestia said. She brushed her hair aside one last time and this time, Simon could see it. The trace of a smile, hidden just behind her hand.

MIRAGE WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME KINDA HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. I KNOW it’s fun to watch & make the phantom squirm but aaaaaaaa

All eyes were on him, now. Even Franziska leaned sideways to glance over his shoulder as he tore the envelope open. He could hear the Phantom calling out to him. His voice was desperate, almost hysterical, leaving no doubt that these DNA results were genuine.

Wh- h-

Simon: ok cool [just casually rips it open like this]

“… As per your request, I can hereby confirm it without a doubt. The DNA of the sample provided was proven to be a match with that of Alexander Luster and the late Zerene Luster-Palaeno.”

The characters:

Me, for the most part:

HONIN’ IN ON THAT LITTLE DETAIL LIKE HELLO WHAT

Amazing. Amazing. The – Palaeno and the phantom both have blonde hair. And… And…

Palaeno seems incredibly guilty, but is innocent. The phantom IS incredibly guilty, but in Dual Destinies, “Bobby” is just about the last person you’d suspect.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 7

“You gave me your WORD, Simon Blackquill! You gave me your word that you would DESTROY IT! I’ll get you for this! I’ll make you PAY!”

Buddy. If I were Simon Blackquill in this moment. Chains, interpol agents detaining him, EVERYTHING aside. I would fear for my life to some extent.

Six degrees of separation. A theory that any two individuals could be connected through at most five acquaintances. That everyone was intertwined in one way or another. After all that’d occurred, Simon found that theory must have some basis of truth in it.

Love this phrasing, of bringing the “six degrees of separation” into this… Despite how far-out any of this seemed, this, through the prose and Simon processing it like this, once again just made it feel so grounded.

I was reeling so much… ya made the phantom related to Palaeno… A minor ace attorney character in a totally separate game… You did it… You did that.

Oh gosh, and as the paragraphs outline just how interconnected everyone is… it’s beautiful. I adore it. Well and truly demonstrating the delicately intertwined nature of everyone. Combining both the canon of the games and the canon of this fic series wonderfully to form these intricate webs.

I feel that it was a bold choice to make the phantom’s real name “Lex Luster”. The very same name that we’ve already been applying to the other character. You could have easily given the phantom a distinct name to keep some kind of a distinction there, but you decided to stick to the same one. This “bold choice” aspect moreso comes into play for me during Lifting Spirits, as at first it caused quite a bit of whiplash for me to start associating the name “Lex Luster” with this newly EXTREMELY emotional man as opposed to the super dislikable villain Lex Luster Sr that got killed off. We’re not up to there in the story yet though hahaha.

LANG’S COMMENT WITH THE VOUCHERS IS SO AWESOMELY CRUDE AHAHA. The reactions of the others just absolutely make it.

Indeed, after what happened in the courtroom, Simon was sure their presence would be quite unwanted. Unwanted, yet unavoidable. It was time to see him again and hear his side of the story.

I GUESS I’M JUST MUCH MORE OF A COWARD THAN SIMON IS but once again, if I were Simon, those death threats would still be fresh on my mind and I just. Would not want to be anywhere near the phantom, no matter how securely he was being contained. D:

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 8

Okay can I just, I love it. I love everything. The level of uncooperativeness and defeat. The phantom clinging to denial. Just. All of the little things and details.

Palaeno shifted in his seat and wrung his hands together in his lap. He looked rather disheartened. “… Lex…”

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. PALAENO, NO. NO. I WOULDN’T IF I WERE YOU. I WOULD ADVISE AGAINST IT GOOD SIR. AHAHAHA oh my goodness. Oh my GOODNESS. The level of… THE SHEER LEVEL OF MISGUIDEDNESS HERE. I’m choking.

“What did you just say?” the Phantom demanded in response.

HE DOESN’T LIKE THAT HE DOESN’T LIKE THAT AT AAAAAALL AHAHAAA SUFFER.

I ALMOST KIND OF??? EXPECTED THE PHANTOM TO JUST BREAK AGAIN OVER THIS. Someone actually applying a NAME to him. LABELLING him with a REAL, ACTUAL, PROPER NAME, with a connection to a past, a history, it’s HUGE. He hates it. He hates it. It’s everything he’s fought against. The sheer size of the breakdown he had in court over the revelation – and now – now an alleged relative using it in this context is just - !!! I expected this to be way too much for him to take and he’d just lose again it in anger/denial or what have you, but he did more than enough in court. Aww, little baby tired himself out. Kudos to him for not losing it once again.

I’d also expected the phantom to react in immediate anger & semi-lose it when he saw Simon BUT! Once again, more than enough of that happened in court. There’s only so much that someone – especially a guy with limited emotions like him – can keep that up before basically becoming despondent. Seems he’s basically fallen back into a state of SOMEWHAT calm and the emotions have subsided enough for him to chat and return to his more “normal” state. Even though he’s clearly not fully returned to normal and constantly on the edge like you don’t wanna push this guy ahahaha. SUFFERRR, PHANTOM. Just BARELY keeping it together.

“Leave it to foolishly foolish fools to pretend that everything revolves around their own foolishly foolish problems.” Franziska wagged a dismissive finger at the Phantom.

THIS SENTENCE IS SUCH A BLESSING, YES FRANZISKA PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE. Haaaah! “Franziska wagged a dismissive finger at the Phantom” is such a good sentence. Patronise to him. Condescend. DISMISS. Yeah, yeah!

They made their way to the door. However, just before passing through it, Palaeno stopped in his tracks. He turned and flashed one last grin at the Phantom. One last desperate attempt to make peace. “We’ll see you at the trial tomorrow, Lex.”

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP THIS POOR MISGUIDED MAN… Palaeno buddy… I understand but… you’re not gonna win this one.

Bobby paused for a moment, then replied with a suggestive hand gesture of his own. Simon immediately made a grab for his wrists to lower them. “Don’t indulge him!”

BOBBY I LOVE YOU.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 9

Simon headed back out the front door, Fulbright by his side, to see that Wright and his two assistants were attempting to get to the steps. Luster’s followers were blocking their path, shouting and spitting at the ground. Some of them were uttering their insults in Cohdopian, others managed to speak English.

This is SO unfair on Apollo to also cop flack like this, considering. Apollo must be so, so done with everything.

“Go back to retirement, Wright!”

OUCH.

“Court will now reconvene for the trial of the international spy known as…” the judge hesitated for a moment and cast a quick glance down at his papers. “The Phantom.”

SDFKBJSDFNLSDKJN that moment of hesitation and needing to confirm for sure is THE BEST

They couldn’t bear the thought that the spy shared his name with the great Lex Luster.

All her emotions were exactly as they should be if she were the real Selestia Belvedere. She was tricking the Mood Matrix. Many years ago, the Phantom had trained Mirage to control her emotions. He’d trained her a bit too well.

I really like this? I really liked this on the first readthrough because whoa, roadblock! They finally, after struggling so hard, got her right where they needed her and it doesn’t work. I’d expected her to slip up slightly but for it to still be an uphill battle to expose her. But not so, not so at all. She’s covered her tracks. I hadn’t been expecting the cast to just run straight into a “dead end” like this! :D And it makes you so keen to read on because HOW are they going to make it out of this one?!

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 10

He’d suffered through quite a few ‘jokes’ at her hand already. He’d seen her supposed humor in action. From worms in his sandwich to having his shoelaces tied together, he’d witnessed it all.

WORMS IN HIS S- Okay Mirage you are the best. Thank you. Thank you so much for putting the spy boi thru so many pranks in your youth. What a blessing.

The next day, they were involved in a raid. One unfortunate sap had gotten his hands on the prank gun and as a result, two members of the smuggling ring had died. Nobody had laughed. He’d decided it was in his best interest not to confess to the prank. He’d also decided not to make another attempt at comedy- Not in the way he currently was.

THIS IS. A REVERSE-ENGINEERED JOKE. By that I mean, this would be the snappy, short & seemingly humorous statement that you would extract from this paragraph, or rather, that this paragraph could stem from:

“The phantom tried to pull a prank once.

Two people died.”

Those two sentences put together have a comedic effect about them on the reader.

It’s as if the story instead took the above two statements – a throwaway joke - and spun them into an actual, serious incident that happened and PUT IT INTO THE STORY. THAT’S WHAT IT IS IT’S A REAL THING THAT HAPPENED IN THE STORY I--- Oh my gosh. This is a reverse-engineered joke taken seriously I can’t believe it. I love it.

Okay, so we have a demonstration that the young phantom takes things in a painfully literal manner (consistent with other young phantom flashbacks) and that he flatly lacks a sense of humour…

It makes me wonder… Would a lack of emotions be inherently linked to being very literal? Would it mean one was not able to understand jokes? Even if one would not laugh or truly enjoy jokes, couldn’t one still be able to understand them on some level or learn to understand? The same goes for literal vs being able to understand rhetorical questions and figure of speech. Obviously this phantom had trouble with all of that when young, but I am unsure if there would necessarily be an inherent link among these things. Interesting to ponder.

Also… For all his struggles to understand jokes and humour in his youth, I certainly think that the phantom manages to develop his own sense of humour over time, and that there is evidence of them possessing a sense of humour both in Dual Destinies itself and earlier on in your fic series.

It is albeit a very dry sense of humour. Kind of twisted. BARELY there. But there nonetheless.

I think that the phantom, even if they cannot appreciate jokes, needs to know how to at the very least fake a sense of humour in order to properly impersonate people. Does being able to fake a sense of humour not mean that one would be required to at least possess some sliver of one themselves? The same goes for being able to understand figures of speech. Certainly something that can be picked up and learned, and is a necessity for the phantom to have a firm grasp on to impersonate properly. And of course, he must have become adept at both, given the amount of time he’s had to do so, the sheer amount of people he has impersonated, and how deep into the roles he tends to get.

OKAY THEN WE GET TH

THE PHANTOM TELLING JOKES AND I

I tell you what. On the first readthrough I just… yes, I lost it and I… really loved it. Too much? To the extent that, my “willing suspension of disbelief” wavered purely because of how great it was and how much I enjoyed it. “S-so good… So… fanservicey…!” The issues were not “believability” or “how this fits in the context of this story” but rather, “oh, this is SO good that it feels too good to be true” and my WSOD threatened to crack under the sheer weight of it alone. BECAUSE IT’S AS IF I FEEL LIKE I CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS I GUESS?

When reading a fanfic I suppose Willing Suspension of Disbelief, or what’s deemed “canon” or “out of character" is mapped onto two fronts: the canon of the source material and the canon of the fanfic itself. Some fanfictions of course, readily wave the source material’s canon aside in favour of setting up its own canon, wherein everyone acknowledges the canon of the source material in such cases is secondary and/or does not matter. Other fanfics, such as your fic series, map directly onto the source material (as well as having its own consistent canon) and therefore must appease “canon”, “willing suspension of disbelief”, etc. on both fronts, sometimes/usually keeping the two completely aligned.

And for me it wavered in both realms, which is preposterous. There is no basis whatsoever on which to consider this “OOC” because I cannot claim to know more than the author who wrote it, and I knew this. And besides, I wanted this anyway. I wanted to take this and add it to the canon of the series but because it was just SO good… Too good…! I couldn’t help questioning it like, “can I… can I really have this? Can I take this? This super awesome moment it’s… Can I really? There must be some kind of mistake, it’s way too good, I…!”

And then I pulled myself in line and told myself, You Know What? This is an awesome moment and I refuse to question it. I refuse to ruin my own fun. I’m taking it. I’m taking it because it’s fun. I’m taking it and running with it BECAUSE it’s so good and I love it and I shall not let it be cast aside. And I Shall relax and enjoy this for all it’s worth. Crush Thy Inner Killjoy.

I’M JUST. Not used to letting myself accept & enjoy things like this to this extent I guess, and that’s why…!

Sometimes I think about this scene and just lose it and oh my gosh. The phantom really did that. Awesome. Thank you.

Me: [regains composure after typing all that, continues reading when…]

TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HIM STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT OK I’M GONE AGAIN BYE AHAH

I’ve written up some stuff already for the next chapters too, but I’ll leave em for the next post~!

#long post #@followers follow the links. read this series.#if u havent

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 12 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits: Part 11

We are rapidly hurtling towards the end. Or… the “end”.

--------

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 12

A single line into this chapter and it had already one-hit-killed me (IN A GOOD WAY). What.

Ohhh my weakness, my weakness…!

THIS SONG?? HIM? THIS SONG???

I have such happy and important memories attached to this song, it’s not just a case of “oh it’s upbeat and I like it” for me, it goes pretty deep. I’m BARELY into reading this chapter and was already put into an unbelievably good mood on the power of the song alone and the memories I have attached to it, let alone everything else about the fact that he is the one who is listeni – ohhhhh going straight for my weaknesses aren’t we.

I’ve gone over being so very happy that he has the ability to listen to music and enjoy it before but you went right ahead and, this was a whole other level, suddenly.

He can pick up & enjoy the happy vibes of this song, aaaah…!

He is listening to Wham! on repeat and no matter what you do, no takebacks, I’m cherishing this for FOREVER. XD

IT’S SO GREAT AND SO AMUSING BECAUSE IT’S H

“You take the grey skies out of my way! You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day! Turned a bright spark into a flame-”

He was going to die. He knew he was going to die.

Honestly GREAT work here with the mood contrast, but I was too busy being blown away/happy and amused by the song situation and shocked that the narrative just did this xDDD like I picked up on this mood whiplash and was like “um whoa” but it kinda passed like a blip when it came to my absorption of this scene/overall mood ahahaha.

Truly though, what excellent contrast going on here simultaneously wherein the reader is drawn into reading of these two threads of such different emotional resonance at the same tiiiime.

And it’s scenes like this where he’s doing stuff like, you know, just sitting and listening to music and the PORTRAYAL and I’m just sitting here like oh my g… s-stop encouraging me… please stop encouraging me… “I’M BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A PHANTOM FAN I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ENCOURAGED LIKE THIS..!” sdkjnsdnklsd …The rest of this chapter refuses to stop said encouraging. :P

”If, through some miracle, they’ll grant me leniency, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life tucked away in some quiet little corner. That’s the best way for me to stay out of trouble, isn’t it?”

But the image this gave me was so absurd it refused to stick and just bounced right off. That’s just – no, nah, that’s not how this works, you know? There is no good ending. That’s impossible. It’s execution or prison and that’s that. And I was still advocating for execution. Welp. This statement took me off guard and there was this moment of… A sense of… Something. Before I dismissed it. Before it got lost again amidst the other things as I read on.

“One might argue that trouble has a way of hunting some people down.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 13

Phoenix Wright would be taking the defense again, as it was just as the Luster trial;

“wait wait wait WHAT – PHOENIX WRIGHT IS DEFENDING? PHOENIX WRIGHT?”

This info is just CASUALLY dropped in this “oh yknow just like with the Luster trial” manner - NO??? THE LUSTER TRIAL WAS A PURE PLOY TO CAPTURE MIRAGE AND THE PHANTOM BEING THE DEFENDANT WAS JUST, BAIT. AND HE WAS ACTUALLY INNOCENT OF THAT SPECIFIC CRIME IN QUESTION AND THE VERDICT ULTIMATELY HADN’T MATTERED ANYWAY AND? IT WAS ALREADY KINDA WILD TO SEE PHOENIX ACTUALLY BEING THE PHANTOM’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY EVEN BACK THEN AND AND AND…!

It’s NOT like the Luster trial it’s VERY different.

Phoenix Wright taking on the defense of Alexander Luster Jr’s case IMMEDIATELY implies a couple of things. Since Phoenix Wright is the posterboy of the entire Ace Attorney franchise, and he has won ALMOST every case he has taken and in each and every one of those scenarios where he won the case, he has indisputably been on the side of good and the side of right and- and he, as a rule, always tends to side with what is right and what is just. He is always ALWAYS striving to be on the side of justice. AND HE IS NOW ALEXANDER LUSTER JR’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY…

The dynamic of the games alone, the Ace Attorney Specific Tropes™ instantly then marks whoever’s side Phoenix is on tends to be a) The Right, Good Side & b) The Winning Side, applying both to the defense of Lex here. That’s what this tells us. That’s what it tells me. Told me. The narrative is directly reaching over and saying “Phoenix is advocating for him, and therefore this is the team you SHOULD be on. This is the team you should be cheering for”. And given Phoenix’s track record, the chances of him losing this are very, very slim.

And I was kind of sitting there like “Hello??? Excuse me?”. The narrative seemed to almost have this… assumption that we should be… Automatically accepting of this. That somehow, we should uncritically want Phoenix to win this trial and for Lex to win his lenience. By bringing Phoenix into this that’s kinda what it appears to definitively tilt the direction in. And I, with a years-old grudge against a character in an ENTIRELY different story written by an entirely different person*, and had been stubborn & adamant from the very beginning that the phantom NEEDED to face execution at any cost when the notion of rehabilitation was raised, was NOT buying it. I was not buying this. The narrative felt like it was making an assumption about the audience’s predisposition – about the audience’s wishes - that still did not apply to me.

*TttP is, for the record, not the only reason I felt the way I did at this point in the narrative. I’ll get into some of the other things fuelling my feelings on the matter a little later. But heh, yeaahhhhh.

Because like, you have characters like Bobby and Athena who are already fully established Lex-supporters, which is totally fine, but Phoenix has barely been in this and we’ve had no scenes at all with him interacting with Lex – there’s been no set-up of “Phoenix wants to advocate for Lex” – we are simply informed of this matter-of-factly, which implies “of COURSE Phoenix would take on Lex’s defense, it’s so OBVIOUS that it’s the right thing to do.” And I was like “oh so we’re doing away with subtlety somewhat on this front regarding the narrative’s agenda?” sdjsdbks. (I MEAN. LEX’S PORTRAYAL AND HOW WE’RE MEANT TO FEEL ABOUT LEX IS NOT SUBTLE AND I ADORE(D) THIS FIC FOR IT, but this was still different – a different angle as it is beginning to tackle the notion of rehabilitation/redemption/leniency head-on. The former was all fun and games but the moment the latter got raised I was immediately in a battle stance).

[Me, pulling up my sleeves: “oh so this is how you wanna play this huh. Bringing in the Big Guns with Phoenix being on his side- you talk a big game but see, not sure if you’re gonna be able to back this up buddy. Biting off more than we can chew, it looks to me.”]

Okay and the other reaction I had to this casual mention of “oh btw Phoenix is gonna be defending Lex”? IT WAS REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS THIS SUDDEN JARRING MOMENT WHERE IT WAS LIKE OH, THIS IS ACE ATTORNEY FANFICTION. Okay I want to make this clear – I never at any point “forgot” this was Ace Attorney fanfic, of course. But like. This whole 4th fic so far has been focusing on Lex – now so far removed from the counterpart we see in canon, and Benny, an OC altogether, has also been so prominent and under focus. You of course, still have characters like Bobby and Simon but, see, at this point, this is the fourth instalment of the series, and we’ve been with these characters for so long now. We’ve been spending so much time with them that – these characters – the canon characters that were getting all the focus at this point were just about all VERY removed from the centre of the ace attorney series. It feels so very, very tucked away in this – such a niche little corner of the ace attorney universe with some very specific characters interacting and driving the plot forward, and having spent so much time with them independent of the rest of the ace attorney cast it’s really felt like they’ve well and truly taken on a life of their own that’s attached to this series specifically. Reading so much about “OC”s like Benny and Lex (because in AA canon there is no “Lex”!) and everything and then all of a sudden casually throwing the central character of all of the mainline ace attorney games casually back into the plot like this felt jarring in the best possible way. It was just like “oh, RIGHT. Phoenix. He actually EXISTS in this world. He’s still around, I mean, obviously. This is Ace Attorney Land. Oh my god. In spite of everything – in how much EVERYTHING has evolved and separated itself from and focused on this one tiny little realm of ace attorney characters and canon… he’s still around and can actually get involved in the plot like this. That’s so wild.” LIKE. I MEAN. It well and truly felt like Phoenix Wright was from A Different Universe, so independent and separate from a world where Lex, Benny, Alive & Post-Randy Bobby, and even Blackquill (after how much this fic has focused on him and a specific interpretation of his character) exist. Honestly to even think that Phoenix Wright and Alexander Luster Jr actually exist in the same canon fic verse… whoa.

“The fate of execution does not necessarily mean perfection. If leniency is deserved, leniency is what the prosecution is meant to support,” Simon found himself arguing despite his better judgment.

Me: “SIMONNNNN NOT YOU TOOOOO”

Me at this, on top of the whole Phoenix Wright Defending thing: [resigned, frustrated sigh] “You’re not gonna kill him, are you, Author? You’re not gonna go through with it and kill him off, are you?? I told you like two fics ago to KILL HIM.”

I was a) a phantom fangirl & had been for years (of course) b) “Lex is great how can you not love Lex?” c) Uh… still actively advocating for his execution d) NOT pleased that it looked like said execution was not gonna be followed through on by the narrative.

Okay, but this line from Simon was also frustrating for another reason: it engages with real-life morality, just as Benny’s assessment that Lex being “taken out back and shot” is not something that he feels is “the right thing to do” does.

I was sitting in an ever-so-simplistic corner and not critically engaging with how the ace attorney universe’s punishment system actually functions. The death sentence, as we all know, is so very prominent in this universe. If you kill someone, you die, them’s the breaks it seems. That’s the universe’s rule so that’s the rule we go with, right? Only taking this universe’s criminal justice & punishment system & morality into account, it was So Very Easy for me to sit there and fiercely be all, “the Phantom killed people, and even if he can feel things now, that won’t bring those people back, therefore he gets executed because THAT is justice according to the laws of this universe and justice won’t be served until that’s carried out.” This simplistic stance bypasses entirely any questioning or attempt to consider the actual “justice” of such a system, and flatly refuses to even question the ethics of capital punishment – a topic that can be so very controversial IRL.

It was frustrating to me personally because the narrative seemed to be bringing real life morality into this. In real life, so very many places have abolished capital punishment altogether. It’s a lot harder to flatly argue that Lex should be executed when considering that, realistically speaking, rehabilitation is the far more desirable option and if at all possible should probably be strived for in real world scenarios.

I was arguing for execution on the basis of Ace Attorney Morality and the narrative was retaliating with a taste of Real World Morality which gave me pause. I was so steadfast and convinced of my stance that to have it momentarily shaken like this was exasperating, because “no see, I know I’m right, see, I have to be right, because the alternative is just too far out of reach. It’s too absurd, it’s a pipedream… The phantom was just that sucky that even applying IRL morality… I must be right… right? Yeah. Anything else is just unrealistic. It can’t be done.” I shook it off, and ploughed onwards with my stance.

Leniency from the court system didn’t mean there would be leniency from those outside the courts. With so many people out for the Phantom’s head, there was no telling how fast any sentence that wasn’t the death penalty would lead to a furious rebellion. There was no telling how fast someone might attempt to hunt down Alexander and finish the job that the executioner was deprived from.

“Whoa, very good point. Okay, so maybe there’s a chance he’ll get executed after all since not getting executed is not necessarily being shown as the “better option” in this regard by the narrative. There’s still hope for an execution yet. A nice, clean execution if the alternative isn’t being portrayed uncritically as the “best” option.”

Simon wondered vaguely if he should apologize for all the times he’d thrown a blade at the defense or sent Taka their way. Ultimately, he decided against it.

Sdkjdskj

The scene with Bobby and Palaeno just before the trial begins… How worried Bobby is and how much he truly cares for Lex… It’s just not a joke anymore. It hasn’t been a joke for quite some time. It’s being played completely straight. There’s just nothing to even really laugh at or be amused by here?

Back in Haunted Specters a lot of Bobby’s behaviour towards/concerns for the phantom can largely be written off as Rule of Funny and also accepted BECAUSE of its intentionally surrealist nature & impression it leaves the audience. I readily accepted it because it slots into the character dynamic(s) role and set-up crafted by the story so perfectly, and it’s so much fun.

I, of course, could see the direction Simon and Bobby’s behaviour was heading towards… Yes, they were getting too attached for their own good, to the point where things would become painful. I knew it was coming and I accepted that and, in fact, I was READY for it.

But Lex.

What I did not foresee was the huge, HUGE transformation that took place. Lex changes everything. It changes the dynamic that is subsequently involved. It negates anything about Bobby’s behaviour being “kinda funny in a misguided way”. The existence of Lex changes it dramatically from “haha funny & surreal behaviour from Bobby” to just plain “Bobby is very invested in this man and very worried for him” and there’s nothing funny about it. We just feel plain bad for Bobby and that’s it. I’ve focused on Bobby pretty exclusively here because he’s the one whose narrative thread we’ve been following the most in this particular regard, but. There are many characters (like Palaeno) who care about Lex, and it’s played straight.

It is a scenario that can very much be pulled off and played straight with the emotionless phantom, but Lex’s whole existence throws an unexpected curveball in HOW the situation is played straight and the subsequent impact had on the audience.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 14

“Quite a long list of murders, several attempted murders, grand theft identity and all the crimes that accompany such a thing, terrorism, vandalism, assault, perjury in a court of law, selling government secrets… To name only a few.”

“And the defense’s assertion?”

“The defense’s assertion is that every single one of those crimes was committed by the Phantom- WAAGH!” Phoenix broke off into a terrified holler when Von Karma snapped her whip at him.

SDJBDKJSDJK perfect.

Volent smiled, his kindly demeanor at odds with his rather arrogant response. “Instability, Your Honor. The concept is exactly what it implies- the defendant’s emotional state is not stable. To put it in layman’s terms, he suffers from severe mood swings. I couldn’t uncover enough symptoms that would allow a full diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, yet I would daresay that further therapy might’ve confirmed such a thing. … It wasn’t my job to diagnose any sort of disorders either way.”

Whoa WHOAAA SPECULATION OF A REAL-LIFE DIAGNOSIS…!

This was SO good to see. I really REALLY liked – no, LOVED this a lot. It was just like, of course, of COURSE…! It’s not just cartoonish “hehe look at how emotional he is!” THERE PROBABLY WOULD BE AT LEAST SOME LEVEL OF CONNECTION THAT COULD BE TRACED TO REAL-LIFE DISORDERS…! I don’t know how to express how cool I found this kind of connecting-it-to-real-life to be and introducing mention of a REAL-LIFE disorder.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 15

Benny taking his testimony and turning everything around on its head was SO awesome. So very awesome. Only reason I’m not elaborating is that I have so very much to cover in this post…!

Simon’s. Testimony. My god, Simon’s testimony. I KNEW it was coming but ohhhhhh wow…! I’m still in awe, dude.

“Did you hear, mommy? It must be true love!”

OKAY YEAH OKAY THANKS FOR HAVING WACKED ME IN THE FACE WITH THIS LITTLE REMINDER WHEN I WAS STILL LICKING MY PHANTOMQUILL WOUNDS DFKJSDKLSDNS

BUT ALSO I REALLY LOVED THIS LINE LOL CAUSE LIKE? There’s a kid out there in this fic’s universe who canonically ships phantomquill. But it’s more than that it’s like!!! Phantomquill as a ship is definitely grouped in some of the LEAST kid-friendly ships I know. When I think about phantomquill the LAST thing I think about is a kid being aware of it let alone shipping it – it’s such an interesting juxtaposition to have (presumably) a child, given the information they’ve been presented with, immediately go “Oh True Love!” about what is, in standard practice, an unbelievably dark, twisted and angsty ship.

But in any case, it was around this point that I just kind of started thinking to myself “Oh my god… Oh my god… The author is actually gunning for this, she’s ACTUALLY gunning for a full second chance for him, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. BUT WHAT’S EVEN CRAZIER IS THAT SHE ACTUALLY APPEARS TO BE PULLING IT OFF.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 16

Crack! Franziska cut him off with a quick snap of the whip. “You must pay due respect to Cohdopian court regulations, Your Honor! This trial has an international nature, thus we can apply international rules. The defendant has recently regained his Cohdopian nationality and this method of questioning is a common occurrence in his home country’s court of law.”

This is ABSOLUTELY allowed, I’m not even gonna attempt to dispute it. Rule Of Drama is in full effect here and I LOVE it, it has my full support.

“Now then, witness. My first question,” Franziska leaned forward, resting one arm on her bench. She was watching Athena with a smug grin on her face. “Do you think the image of your mother’s corpse will ever be erased from your mind?”

OHHH MY GOD. I am… here for the brutality of this direct approach. It’s… necessary.

Lex had turned a few shades paler in a matter of ten seconds.

GET READY LEX. GET READY LEX. Strap in buddy. You WILL sit there and you WILL suffer. You are fantastic and amazing and my favourite character but :^) you’re on your own here.

Franziska shook her head in exasperation. “Tsk tsk. Very well then… Witness, is it true that the defendant took you hostage after he escaped from the federal prison in February?”

As we know, Chasing Phantoms felt like a separate entity from the rest of this series to me, and I had been somewhat less engaged while reading it. This just made me go “oh my god… she’s right… that happened in this series too…!” YOU WERE NOT ONLY TRYING TO ULTIMATELY GIVE THIS MAN A SECOND CHANCE IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING HE’D DONE IN CANON, BUT HE HAS ACTIVELY DONE EVEN FURTHER TERRIBLE THINGS IN THE CANON OF YOUR STORY ON TOP OF ALL THAT. And you WEREN’T even shying away from acknowledging it either. You were shining a spotlight DIRECTLY on this fact as you ploughed forward against the incredible odds. AMAZING. You ALREADY had your work cut out for you and you had gone ahead and actually ADDED to that workload, you absolute madman, this was wild.

But not only this, you were, here, in this scene, drawing a direct link between Chasing Phantoms and Lifting Spirits, with their two such vastly different narrative landscapes. You are reaching out and reminding the audience - having the audience acknowledge the part of the story when the phantom was at his worst while showing us him, a changed person, at his best.

You’re not even trying to hide or gloss over a damn thing.

I don’t even know what to say about Phoenix’s cross-examination of Athena it’s just so good. So vivid. Like, I can picture it in my mind.

It was Lex who spoke up. It was Lex who pushed himself to his feet, his manacles producing a soft clanking sound as he did so.

Oh my gosh… Here it is…

This whole scene where he says thank you. It’s soooooo sappy but I don’t care, I don’t caaaaaaaare I LOVE IT IT’S PERFECT and I will eat it up I WILL eat this sentimentality up forevermore. I’d actually misremembered this scene as being complete with gratuitous tears and big, glistening eyes listen it’s over-the-top and I LOVE it being over-the-top. IF YOU’RE GONNA GO ALL OUT WHY NOT GO ALL OUT? And it DOES do just that SPECTATOR’S COOING I. I LOVE this goddamn series oh my GOSH.

I was so very stubbornly trying to work against my favourite character, but you brought your A-Game. You put in overtime for this character. it felt like WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DRAW A FLIPPIN’ HALO ABOVE HIS HEAD?! DSJNKSDKJNSDNKJ. So much of Lifting Spirits was me BEGGING you to stop encouraging me to such a ridiculous extent, to no avail.

And noooow it’s AURA TIME.

Enter: Aura Blackquill.

A smile flickered across Aura’s face, but it disappeared again the moment her eyes fell on Alexander. Even from such a great distance, Simon could see it: the raw hatred that was shimmering through. It was no wonder, really, that Alexander cowered in his seat. Most people would think to duck for cover if they were on the receiving end of such a terrifying glare.

OHHHH MY GOD… AHAHAHA… YES.

“I have quite a few things to say to that miserable excuse of a defendant,” Aura began, her tone of voice as venomous as the look on her face. “but such words aren’t befitting of a lady and it appears some clods thought to bring children to this courtroom, so I’ll keep that particular feat of vocabulary to myself.”

Alexander cowered even further. Surely, he understood just how much Aura hated him. Just how far she’d be willing to go to see him hanged. Having her here in the courtroom must’ve been agony on both ends, for Alexander feared for his life and Aura ached to end it.

OMG. GET HIM. MAKE. HIM. SQUIRM.

“What I will say is this. If this monster hopes to be human, he needs to understand that real humans don’t get second chances at life. Especially not those who rob others of their only chance. We live as flawed beings and we die as flawed beings- the size of the handicap makes little difference. Why should he deserve to go on while others don’t? The rules of life and death apply to everyone, no exceptions.”

What a horrific speech. Leave it to Aura to spew something like that.

“I MEAN… SHE… HAS A POINT… SHE RAISES A VERY GOOD POINT…”

The worst part was that from the corner of his eye, Simon could see Apollo Justice nodding.

HHHHHHHHHHHH

Aura slammed one of her hands down on the witness stand, her shackles clattering loudly as she did so. She was addressing Alexander directly, now. “I am not speaking only for myself, I’m speaking for everyone who’s lost someone dear because of you. I’m speaking for everyone who’s suffering because of you. Believe me, we are great in number. We will not forgive and we will not forget. You can’t run from us.”

Ohhhhhh GOOOOOOOSH I WAS 100% CHEERING HER ON DURING FIRST READTHROUGH OF THIS SCENE BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF WHAT TRACKING GHOSTS COULD ENTAIL PLEASE SEND HELP

Alexander shivered and hid his face behind his hands.

PLEASE I JUST. PLEASE. NO MORE. Look at him.

“Hm. No, I believe I’ve made up my mind. Taking all the testimony into account, it’s clear to me what needs to be done.”

The judge raised his gavel. This was it. The moment they’d been working toward. The moment they’d been working for. Alexander’s life hinged on these next words. Nobody dared to speak. Nobody dared to move. Bobby’s hand once again found Simon’s own. He squeezed it in return and glanced sideways to see that Ambassador Palaeno was crossing his fingers.

Me: [Shakes head ruefully] “Well, okay, very well. You did it, author. You earned this, well and truly. Go ahead. You can have this. You actually did it, I suppose. I can’t believe you did it, but you actually earned him his right to a happy ending. So… I won’t object. It’s all yours for the taking.”

I mean, the fact that the trial was ending just after AURA’S testimony was a little foreboding, but… It just wasn’t enough to balance out the rest of the trial and the tone of the entire fic. The verdict felt so clear, I mean, c’mon. C’mon. And the narrative slant, too. The narrative and the POV characters that we are following are so very biased in his favour. This IS what the entire fic had been building towards, and the entire fic had been so terribly biased towards him and the notion of salvation.

So I’m like [rolls eyes], “alriiiight, go ahead, if you must. Give the man his verdict of lenience like ya set out to do. I’m not complaining like I thought I would be. You win again. You set out to do this and I don’t know how, but it looks like you actually got there in the end. If you insist, then he doesn’t have to die after all. I accept that.”

”It pains me to conclude that rehabilitation and civil commitment are impossible in his case. That is why this court finds the defendant guilty and hereby sentences him to immediate execution.”

…Come again?

Um.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 17

They'd known from the start that there could be only one ending to the Phantom’s tale. They'd known, yet they struggle to accept the bitter disappointment that comes with it.

Execution… Immediate execution. How soon was immediate? Quite soon, apparently, as Lang gestured towards the Interpol escort.

WHAT THE F U D G E

They saluted and made to surround Alexander. To grab him and drag him from the courtroom. The spy jumped up from his chair and backed away in painfully apparent fright, but there was nowhere for him to run. The agents snatched him by the arms just like that. The spectators became even more agitated.

“IMMEDIATE” EXECUTION?! THAT’S… THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS THOUGH. That’s SO fishy. You can’t – you literally can’t just take someone out back and promptly shoot them IMMEDIATELY after a sentence is handed down… can you? THAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK. THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, PROTOCOLS AND PAPERWORK TO BE FILLED OUT AND SCHEDULING TO BE DONE… DON’T tell me they’re just gonna – WAIT. JUST WAIT. HOLD ON NO YOU CAN’T JUST – NO.

At the very least, “immediate” execution seemed like it would be carried out a few days after the sentencing, not… like… ACTUALLY immediately. BUT THE STORY SEEMED TO BE PLAYING IT LIKE THIS.

Just because it felt unrealistic, unrealistic to the point it was fishy, didn’t mean the story couldn’t be about to implement just that, though.

Yet, even through the chaos, Phoenix Wright’s shouts were heard.

“OBJECTION! Your Honor! The defense…-! The defense would like to cross-examine the last witness after all! Your Honor!”

But the judge was already getting to his feet. He was preparing to leave the trial behind. That was only natural. The verdict had been delivered and once that was done, no one could change it.

This is the bad end. This is the game over. God DAMMIT Phoenix you should have LEARNED by now that if given the option to further question the witness or not, you ALWAYS take it lest you choose not to and get an immediate game over. Okay. You need to listen to me. You DID save right before Aura gave testimony, right? So you need to press the start button and reload at an earlier save point and then when given the option to PRESS you- sdkjdflndslksdkj

“Lex!” Athena rushed out from behind the defense’s bench to block the group of Interpol agents. To stop them from dragging a struggling spy out the back door, towards the prosecutors lobby.

YES ATHENA SAVE HIM. SAVE HIM.

It didn’t do much good; there were five of them and only one of her. She was shoved aside as if she wasn’t even truly there.

AAAAAAAAAH

Alexander… He was attempting to fight back like a madman now. Perhaps he was a madman. He was digging his heels into the ground, moving every which way to try and slip through a crack in Interpol’s escort, yet their hold on him was too great. He was screaming, he was shrieking. […]

He would be taken away to be killed. A fate he’d accepted for himself a few months ago, yet things had changed. His desire to live had grown too great.

NO NO NO NOOOOOO. NO!

Phoenix Wright stood motionless by his bench, head buried in his hands.

The miracle never happen.

“I can’t. I have to… I have to see Lex,” Bobby insisted once more.

“No. Last will and testament need to be compiled and you would only get in the way. We’re taking the Phantom to be executed the moment all the final arrangements are done.”

THAT’S SO MESSED UP. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! THAT IS SO MESSED UP. “LEX. IS LEX IN THERE? IN THE ROOM? WHY CAN’T WE HEAR HIM HE WAS YELLING SO MUCH BEFORE WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“This is the only ending this story could possibly have and you knew that from the start.”

Oh how daaaaare you turn this line back around on me like this, against me. The first time I ever heard the equivalent of this line in the series, I knew it was planted with the intent to come back to bite the audience. I was all “hah, you don’t scare me. Joke’s on you because that ending to this story is EXACTLY what I want, so TRY me.”

Seeing it again NOW was terrifying. It was a threat. I did not truly believe that the story would end like this. But this line… embedded into the narrative as it had been, was effective at convincing me it was plausible… it was POSSIBLE. Recurrent lines like this would destroy me on a regular day when I know that they’re coming. I had done NO preparation to handle this line doing exactly what I figured it intended to do when it inevitably came back around because back then, when it was planted, it is exactly what I had wanted, and therefore felt like I didn’t need to. And in the interim, the narrative had gone soft, so very soft, so very, very soft on him, and appeared to no longer have what it takes to go ahead and kill him off, the arc words laying forgotten. Until now, being wielded with full force. Didn’t like the sound of this at all.

Now I would like to break down different aspects of the scene(s) that unfold in the aftermath of the verdict, because there are so many angles at play here:

1. The verdict is still unbearably painful even when clinging to the thought/hope and possibility that he isn't dead/manages to survive/will not die

Because we've spent the entire fic being shown just how much Lex is brimming with emotion and personality and potential from head to toe, only to be told at the end that all of it was worthless, that all of it IS worthless: that he is unworthy of salvation, that all of the striving was for absolutely nothing and MEANS nothing. That, even if the plot allows him to go on living, even if the characters and the narrative (and the audience!) clearly believe he is worthy of a second chance, the law and the legal system doesn't. That in the eyes of the law, his life and newfound being is not worth preserving.

A solid three fics spent on development - and the verdict declares in one fell swoop at the end of it all that he should die, the verdict declares he shouldn't even get to live and should in fact be killed as soon as possible.

The law does not know and does not care about the things we and the characters have seen, the things that the characters have been through together, or the extent of his suffering and STRIVING all the way up until this point. The law doesn't care.

The narrative seemingly turns on its audience in an instant with a snarl. "Well, what did you expect? You're an idiot for expecting anything more than this. Haven't you forgotten who that man is and what he's done? Don't tell me you were actually stupid enough to have hope. You're naive. Just as naive as the characters are. Even when you could see for yourself they were getting too attached for their own good, what did you do? Did you actually follow in their footsteps? You should have known better. You should have had more foresight than that. In fact, you DID have the benefit of foresight and you WASTED it! You have even less excuse than the characters!"

At least, that's the stunt it TRIES to pull, and momentarily, for a horrible, horrible point in time it almost works. But then I'm yelling my defiance too. It's like, "no, actually, story, stuff you, I wasn't stupid at all for having hope, because the narrative itself was the one to give me that hope and that belief in Alexander Luster Jr in the first place. It's wanted us to believe in him from the very beginning, so it's no wonder. This story has been ridiculously biased TOWARDS him, and I know that for a fact because I've been fighting against his having a second chance the entire time and received nothing but opposition in terms of the narrative's directional slant."

So it's like, okay, it wasn't stupid at all in terms of narrative portrayal. The audience can't blamed; it's no wonder they believed. But were they objectively right in doing so or was their belief misplaced after all?

There's this dizzying moment of "WAS the verdict right in its decision? Is what the judge says really true? Is there genuinely no hope for rehabilitation in his case? Is there something that the Judge can see that we can’t?"

The thought of it is so painful. Are the characters supporting him and the audience just idiots, but the court - the judge can objectively see the "full unbiased picture" that we aren't getting, in order to have reached this conclusion? Is he really not worth a second chance? But how? How?! How can that be!

And then the thought passes, it's shot down. No, no. Rehabilitation - a second chance - is obviously possible. How can it not be possible? How can you tell me I'm wrong?! It has to be, look at him. if you've been paying attention to Lifting Spirits for five minutes-

2. The verdict was not the right decision to make and does not bring about any kind of justice.

The verdict is wrong. That's the conclusion we arrive at. There is nothing just about this situation. There is no victory here.

“No! This can’t…! This can’t be right!”

This is wrong. This is not justice. The narrative doesn't even attempt to say otherwise: that's how it's being portrayed. The narrative AGREES that this is wrong.

“Let go of me! This isn’t right!” she hollered, hoping to free herself from Lang’s grip. “You can’t execute him! He’s not a killer anymore! Let go of me!”

Up until the very end... Even as the verdict was being read and I was convinced it would side with lenience, I wasn't entirely sure of what the right choice was, even though I had finally decided to accept such a verdict of lenience.

In the aftermath of the verdict's announcement, I still wasn't sure what the "right" course of action was, how best to handle his case, or what "should" be done.

But it didn't even matter any more. I didn't - I didn't care. I no longer cared about that. It didn't matter what the “best” decision was anymore, I wanted him to- where, where is his lenience?! Give - GIVE it to him!

I was desperate for him to have this regardless, to have this second chance, it was painful and this didn't feel right.

In a sense, when it came to the question of what "should" be done, or what side I was ultimately on come the end, that alone - my feelings and response to this situation - clearly gave me my answer.

And if he didn't die, if he managed to escape death somehow, that wouldn't truly be good enough in alleviating all the pain of this. No, that's painful and would imply still that he's not good enough. But that is antithetical to what we have been shown, and the idea hurts. He needed to be fully, properly have his second chance recognised in the eyes of the law. It got snatched away when it was so close and I couldn't - it needed to happen.

It’s torturous.

3. The main characters that we have been following are actively invested in his survival and his second chance. They WANT him to live and they do not WANT him to die.

Wasn't this what I wanted?

But the thought of his impending death was hurting our main characters so much more than the alternative. They weren't asking him to die. They weren't expecting him to die. It's a very different situation.

For Alexander Luster Jr, the chance of redemption hinges not upon accepting death, but in being granted life.

This idea of him needing to die... One of the key ideas it comes from is that to give him a second chance is disrespectful to all the people that he murdered and all the people that he's hurt, emotionally and physically.

But characters such as Athena, Bobby and Simon are members of that group of people hurt by the phantom, and they are the ones advocating for him, they are the ones who are desperate for this chance and his survival - for him to have a chance.

There is, of course, a very impressive list of other people hurt by the phantom for whom his death is deemed important and necessary. But we have not followed their POVs. As it stands, when we think of who the phantom has inflicted harm on, many of the first characters that may come to the reader's mind are those who /want/ him to live. So what meaning does "disrespectful to those who have suffered because of him" continue to hold when they are our main point of reference?

It does still hold meaning. But it's far more difficult to uniformly advocate for the man now known as Lex to die when this is how at least some of the phantom’s victims feel.

4. The bar for his salvation is set very low, and the severe injustice invoked by that bar seemingly not being met by the court's standards is portrayed very strongly.

The bar is so low. A) There is no need to forgive the phantom of all his many crimes, but merely to acknowledge Lex as his own person b) lenience. Just. Lenience. Not “all charges are dropped you are free to do as you wish”, lenience.

And in contrast, everything about the fake-out screams injustice, almost outlandishly so. The speed at which everything happens – he’s hastily carried away. Bobby and Simon not getting to say goodbye. The characters, the spectators who were on his side screaming their defiance. Everything is taken to its extreme in a mad rush.

And then, of course, there's Aura.

5. The narrative makes no pretence at ignoring the harsh reality of what the phantom was like and what he has done. There is unabashed acknowledgement.

I'm glad Franziska asked Athena if the image of her mother's corpse would ever fade. At that point I was a little like "whoa, okay, at least we are acknowledging this. We are ACTUALLY tackling this angle, I’m impressed.”

And then Aura just came in and blew me away. Aura came along and put my very own thoughts into words, she said EXACTLY what I was thinking, right at the last minute. Words I thought would be left unsaid, and would therefore leave me feeling somewhat frustrated and unsatisfied. But she voiced them and forced the story to confront the fundamental unfairness of the killer getting a second chance when he took away his victim’s only chance.

6. The narrative fully acknowledges that there is no way to make everyone happy and satisfied regardless of whatever outcome is chosen.

“In light of all the information and all the opinions shared with this court, I believe there is no way to please everyone.”

Through both the wording of the judge's verdict and the extremely divided and opinionated spectators, it's abundantly clear. This was a great signifier for me because to give him a happy ending, favourite character or not... It can be very hard to be fully satisfied when the consequences of his past actions are ongoing (e.g. people who are still feeling the losses of loved ones that can never be replaced) or if it feels like certain perspectives are being conveniently ignored/overlooked so as to justify a happy ending.

I fought against Lex's salvation partly because I was convinced that there was no way I could be completely satisfied with it, and that it would therefore feel somewhat hollow or sour if thought about in too much depth.

But the narrative just went right ahead and said "you might not be 100% satisfied, and that's fine; not everyone is going to be 100% satisfied in-universe anyway. Such a thing is impossible. If you're expecting all of the characters to be satisfied before YOU accept the ending, then I am telling you right now that you're asking for something that's never going to happen, because it's just not realistic."

The narrative also played a sneaky little game of "okay, if you're not happy with this, then here's a glimpse of the alternative. Now tell me, which ending do you prefer?"

I’d already conceded and accepted the presumed outcome towards the end, but the story wasn’t satisfied with my mere acceptance. Ohh no, it was like, “not good enough, you’re going to REALLY want this. You have to REALLY want this.” And BOY, AFTER THIS CRUEL FAKE-OUT DID I EVER.

The ending made itself all the better because it forced me to really work for it. Noooo way in hell was it gonna feel even remotely hollow, no way in hell EVER, I am no way no way gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.

The acknowledgement of ANY ending’s inability to satisfy absolutely EVERY angle of every perspective in and of itself made me rush over to embrace the ending in all its splendid glory.

“That’s ridiculous! We’re just as much Lex’s family as Palaeno is!” Bobby blurted out.

There it is. There it is. The conclusion… The inevitable conclusion of what this entire series has been building towards since around Haunted Specters.

There’s only so far you can take a joke before you have no choice but to play it straight.

1. Set up and frame a seemingly absurd/surreal/odd scenario and seemingly play it for laughs

2. Keep playing it for laughs

3. Keeeep going. Keep running with it

And through both escalation and narrative reiteration and reinforcement…

4. It’s not a joke anymore and the audience is invested, Actually. No matter how odd the set-up seemed originally.

I loved that Lang immediately responds with anger to Bobby’s proclamation. I loved that. It makes sense that he would. In fact, it is a completely reasonable response. And we have spent so long building towards this. Lang’s irritation and misgivings about Bobby’s level of investment have been clear as day for a long time – he’s made no secret of it - and they have been building, and right here, Bobby confirms to him beyond all shadow of a doubt that he is too far gone, he is too far gone. He crosses a line. He crosses a line and it is too much for Lang. Two powerful opposing perspectives come to a head in this single moment as they both explode forth at once.

You played Bobby’s investment completely straight… and then you turned it back around on its head again as it is confronted like this by Lang. It is not enough to merely play it straight, but here, the narrative goes one step further and asks “if it is played straight, if it is grounded undeniably now in the character and the narrative’s reality, what does that mean? In what way should it be approached?”

Lang was right; this was bordering on Stockholm Syndrome. They shouldn’t care this much about Alexander.

I am. Floundering.

You are MEAN. YOU ARE MEEEEEAN. XD.

Maybe it was a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome.

No, no. This was a horrible kind of stinging slap to deliver.

Lang framing it that way was fine.

But a character like Bobby potentially internalising it was so very harsh a punch.

For other characters to react to and interpret Bobby (and Simon’s) investment in Lex in a realistic way was one matter. For the characters whose POV we’ve been following the whole way to take up the same line of thinking… felt like a horrific intrusion on some kind of sacred space. An unbreachable, unwritten narrative rule supposedly laid out by the series itself felt as if it were being mercilessly snapped clean in two here.

It seems so very cruel, narratively speaking, because it felt to me like the reader was never ASKED to frame the behaviour and dynamics of the characters in a realistic or critical manner. It was. A JOKE. It started as a surreal joke, serving its specific narrative purpose and then moving on its way. To have ever been realistically critical of the characters’ behaviour felt like it would have only hindered what the narrative seemed like it was trying to do at the time. And of course, it became more than a joke but the narrative has been tailored for the audience to be invested in these characters’ connections. To abruptly rescind on this unwritten rule of “this is fiction and therefore we can have some fun with it and set up some interesting character dynamics!” was like stinging betrayal.

Or rather, we ARE perhaps asked or even encouraged to be critical, but perhaps not in the way it is suddenly portrayed here. The reader does in fact pick up on the fact that Bobby and Simon are getting too invested and that this investment is perhaps not in their best wishes. But that investment seems to be portrayed so as to be compelling, something we are drawn to… not… like this. Or maybe that was just how it felt to me.

For a character like Bobby to be thinking about Stockholm Syndrome… It is not a clear-cut case of Bobby being hurt and grieving. He ponders framing his own grief and attachment in a critical manner. That he “shouldn’t” have been invested or cared this much. That felt so negatory of Lex and his whole existence… It felt negatory of the very plot that the readers had become so very invested in.

Cruel, cold realism.

You finally brought this particular narrative thread to a head, made it so very realised, and then immediately you appear to set about deconstructing it. Through Lang’s reaction. Through the internal thoughts that go through Bobby’s and Simon’s minds.

But my instinctive response is, "no, NO. Your attachment means something. It MEANS something! It's NOT just Stockholm Syndrome!"

If it was the emotionless phantom who had died that they were mourning, then sure, to think of their feelings in this manner... I don't think I would object.

But Lex is full of emotions, he cares!!!!

They can't possibly turn their back on the bond they'd ultimately grown with Lex like this. They can't.

And they aren't. They are just suffering a lot right now, trying to make some sense of this situation - anything, anything to try and make it stop hurting, to force it to hurt LESS. The narrative seems to teeter dangerously close to borderline dismissing the bond they'd grown with Lex through gritty, negative framing tied to a sense of realism. But ultimately...

It didn’t matter now.

Does it, would it even matter, how it's framed at this point? It wouldn't make a difference anyway. What's done is done, what happened is what happened.

The hurt inflicted by Bobby's internal thoughts in this moment and my instinctive objection to them is drowned out and washed cleanly away as we return to focus on the hurt caused by the overall situation and its magnitude. "Does it even matter?". It's like, who cares, who cares about analytical dissection right now, this is where we ended up either way.

It’s something Bobby considers but he’s just too tired to ponder it much because what difference did it even make? That same tiredness to fight back against the framing applied to me, as there was so much else to worry about in this moment.

What was perhaps the most cruel aspect of it all was that Alexander- no, the Phantom had attempted to shield them from this sort of devastation.

Oh no nooooooo. This hurt. Just twist the dagger in some more hhhjghj. It was absolutely true. The phantom had foreseen this. When it came to something like that kiss scene – I was busy focusing on so many other aspects of it, and very distracted by so many narrative threads after that and into Lifting Spirits that I totally failed to seriously register that attempt to shield a character like Bobby from this pain. I should have been prepared for that particular narrative angle to circle back around and I absolutely was not, I had not taken it seriously enough and had been far too distracted. I had been very dismissive of the phantom’s actions in that regard and found him so very stupid for it. Like, “yes, Bobby is too attached, this is apparent, but for GOD’S sake…”

Should have probably expected this, but I did not, and therefore it came as a very harsh shock that the phantom had seemingly been Right All Along.

This was so worrisome. Was the story REALLY about to dump a “this is the best outcome in a sense, as Bobby and Simon’s attachment was too unhealthy anyway, so this was the only way. It’s the best thing for the characters who should never have allowed themselves to senselessly get attached” on us?!

I knew there was one more fic to go in this series. I knew that much, and I did my best to cling to that, to cling to how suspicious and fast this all was, that they didn’t even get to say GOODBYE, but some of the narrative framing was so very scary. I did start to feel a tiny bit of panic, struggled to keep it at bay. But I was on the verge of becoming VERY, VERY upset. I could not allow myself to do so until I finished this fic, because if I allowed myself to become upset – to lose hope over this - it would be all over – there’s no telling how much it would’ve crushed me.

I just needed to power on through and keep reading as fast as possible before I had the chance to become upset. Just… keep reading, keeeeep reading, until I could relax once more… There had to be a reveal that he is okay, there had to be, because the alternative was too unbearable to consider.

The mere possibility of this truly being how this fic ends was way too terrifying.

It was like you suddenly out of nowhere grabbed my arm and BRUTALLY twisted it and just went “oh my god, shut up about phantomquill. Shut up about phantomquill. And will you STOP complaining already about every godforsaken little thing? I’ll kill him. I swear to god, I will kill him. I’ll do it. Do not test me. I’ll do it.”

This couldn’t be the end (could it?!) but there was no way in hell I was going to risk growing complacent and trying to call your bluff. I was terrified. I could NOT risk this all being real no matter what, no matter how small the risk might or might not be I was so scared.

“Please… Just… Just… Don’t do this. Please. Just let him still be alive.”

And he was.

“So… will you finally shut up about phantomquill? Will you finally be GRATEFUL once more and ACCEPT what you are given?!”

Oh, yes. Yes, Meowzy, please, just don’t hurt me.

When there is a defining moment in a story that causes me to flatly deem that moment and by extension everything after it technically “non-canon”, it is VERY hard, nigh impossible, to win me back, because it tends not to matter how fantastic anything that comes afterwards is – because the line of continuity to get to that point had been fundamentally broken in my eyes, usually senselessly so. The appreciation of great stuff from afterwards doesn’t feel “complete” because I am no longer capable of considering it the “true timeline”.

By “win me back” I don’t mean “enjoy the fictional work in question”, because I am still completely capable of doing that if there’s still awesome stuff going on. I mean “restore the work’s claim to being the “true timeline” in my eyes.”

A lot of the Lifting Spirits journey is winning me over and winning me back over. I had already largely gone “okay, okay, I guess… all of this stuff is just so awesome that it’s still pretty much the true timeline. It’s just so good.” Unlike in some other instances where I had made the “non-canon” declaration in the past:

-There is absolutely no drop in writing quality whatsoever. The work demands its place in the true timeline with the rest of the series because it fits in seamlessly

-Just about everything going on is so great and awesome that you’d be hard-pressed NOT to want to fully accept and embrace it all

-The occurrence that I had declared the work was “finished” over (Fake Phantomquill kiss) was so very inconsequential and minor in the grand scheme of things. The declaration loses its meaning when it becomes to seem like just a blip in the radar of all the amazing stuff going on

-The actual goings-on of the scene do fit in fine with the rest of the story, and the scene is not TOO central or relevant to what takes place afterwards so as to be a constant reminder or thorn in my side that I had been baited. The story moves on from the scene after it plays out to far more pressing matters.

But still, STILL, I had withheld its right to Full Canonicity in my eyes. I had been “wronged” XD.

But the fake-out… and then the ending… I was nothing but grateful. True timeline. True timeline. This WAS the true timeline; this is the true timeline and I fully acknowledge it 100%. I embrace it. Why would I EVER throw this golden ending away for the sake of some one-sided phantomquill, if I had to make that choice?! Never.

I’ve much more to say and/or elaborate on, and I will do so… in the next post!

Wow. Looks like one more post and I will have finally done it. That’ll truly take us to the end of Lifting Spirits…

#These dang things are so damn long and therefore such a pain to format into tumblr posts XD #as always I always kinda am still secondguessing bits of the wording in places #And feel that there's still unexamined angles left... But how much longer could I possibly make this. XD

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