#Porter Robinson don't miss yo

[xandermorrisonmusic]

Song of the day: Porter Robinson - Russian Roulette

Genre: Hyperpop, Happy Hardcore

This one is going to be hard to talk about. TW: Self harm, suicide

This song is the only example I can think of where it is too powerful to be added to my regular listening catalogue. I'm serious, if this thing comes up at any point, I'm tearing up at a minimum. It's the best song off of this excellent album, which as a whole is about Porter's awkwardness and missteps as an adult so far in his life. And I respect that, because there's plenty of stories of how awkward teenage years are, but as a 24 year old living an awkward life, I'm glad to see my era represented so closely to what I experienced myself, for better or worse.

Let's rip the bandaid off right now, I've come very close to killing myself. As in, the only thing stopping me from attempting an overdose was my own lack of energy stopping me from getting out of bed. Obviously this isn't one to one with russian roulette, but since it wasn't certainly going to kill me, it felt like the same kind of gamble: the one I wanted to lose.

The pressures Porter describes that lead him to this point are something on a scale I couldn't imagine. He's a superstar producer, one of the biggest names in electronic music, and one that has a track record of consistently putting out very high quality work. He talks about how he feels this pressure throughout this album, including the opener where he basically voices his fear over releasing something his fans don't like and tarnishing a pretty spotless discography, but in this track, he specifically mentions things like Pitchfork calling him "the next big thing" and wanting to make money off of his identity and prestige, which clearly doesn't sit well with him. But feeling that he has no other way out of that situation once he's been entrenched in it, he contemplates playing russian roulette as a means of escape. He also mentions a friend losing his head and not doing anything about it, which may specifically be a nod to the late Avicii. Porter has cited Avicii's death as a wake up call for him (and many others in the scene) to get sober, and while I don't know if they were close friends or not, Porter feels that they were close enough that he should've done something.

So there he is, two verses and two choruses saying how much he wants to die, plus an extra quiet repeat chorus which forces listeners to get uncomfortably intimate with him in what could be his final moments. But then out of that quietness comes instead a list of reasons why he wants to stay alive, at least for a bit longer. The first one is the most impactful to me: "I wanna see my mom one more time." My mom died after a looong battle with cancer a little over a year ago, and I have to say, you often take for granted what you have until it's gone. If I had known how much I miss her now, she would've been at the top of my list too in my darkest hours.

He lists off several things like that. "I wanna kiss my cat one more time" also hits hard since I have two cats, one of which is newer to the house and is sleeping on me as I type this. "I wanna thank my dad one more time." "I wanna play in the snow one more time." "I wanna marry her one more time." And after listing off enough of these, he comes to the realization that he doesn't really want to go through with this, repeating the simple yet VERY powerful "I wanna live, I don't wanna die" over and over into one of the biggest drops on the album, an all out happy hardcore rave of positive energy at the revelation that he does have things to live for.

Cheesy? Maybe. But in the aftermath of the drop, a goofy text to speech voice comes in to address that, saying "Clichés like this are beautiful, because they reflect us, and we are beautiful" (which is punctuated with a pretty funny YAY sound effect that gets cut off abruptly). And the text to speech voice delivers, very clearly and plainly for those who need it, the moral of the story:

Don't kill yourself, you idiot

And some people need to hear that as unambiguously as possible. If I was 17 or 18, I would be one of those people. This song is literally going to save people's lives, I guarantee it. That's the kind of power I can only wish to reflect on the world if I ever get that big as an artist. Go listen to SMILE! :D and let me know what you think! Such a good album.

[chaos-vulpix]

Legacyverse: Jaya (Jay x Nya)

Oh dear god, this took way longer than I thought it would... 😅

Anyways, here's the playlist I made for the Legacyverse interpretation of Jaya!

(P.S. I put a few songs in here that evoke Water & Lightning. Some are more "on the nose", but try & find them all if you can)

2 Be Loved (Am I Ready) - Lizzo

Airplane - f(x)

Anywhere - Rita Ora

Atic - Astrid S

Be Right There - Diplo & Sleepy Tom

Beauty and a Beat - Justin Bieber ft. Nicki Minaj

Blue - Bad Computer

By Your Side - Jonas Blue ft. RAYE

Clearest Blue (Gryffin Remix) - CHVRCHES

Dance - Lvly ft. Mia Pfirrman

Diamonds - Rihanna

Don't Go Yet - Camila Cabello

Dreamin' - Seven Lions ft. Fiora

Everything Goes On - Porter Robinson | League of Legends (Star Guardian 2022)

Feel Special - TWICE

Follow You Down - Zedd ft. Bright Lights

Following the Sun - SUPER-HI & Neeka

For You - Liam Payne & Rita Ora

Head & Heart - Jax Jones & MNEK

I Wish For You - EXILE

ILY (I love you baby) - Surf Mesa ft. Emilee

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Lavender Haze - Taylor Swift

Levitating - Dua Lipa

LIKE I WOULD - Zayn

Like Water - Ladi6

Lost In Your Light - Dua Lipa ft. Miguel

Love Don't Cost A Thing - Jennifer Lopez

Love Love Love - Avalanche City

Make You Move - Culture Code ft. Karra

Miss Independent - Ne-Yo

Naturally - Selena Gomez & the Scene

Next To Me - Emeli Sandé

Nothin' on You - B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars

Only Girl (In The World) - Rihanna

Replay - Iyaz

Right There - Nicole Scherzinger

Ritual - Tiësto, Jonas Blue & Rita Ora

Save Your Tears (Remix) - the Weeknd & Ariana Grande

Settle - BAYNK ft. Sinéad Harnett

Spark - Blanke & Dia Frampton

Sparks - Hilary Duff

Sunroof - Nicky Youre ft. dazy

SuperLove - Charli XCX

Superstar - Jamelia

Sway My Way - R3HAB & Amy Shark

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

When Love Takes Over - David Guetta ft. Kelly Rowland

Who's That Girl - Guy Sebastian ft. Eve

Wings - Birdy

[xaeneron]

Don't try to make yourself remember, darling, Don't look for me; I'm just a story you've been told So let's pretend a little longer 'Cause when we're gone, everything goes on.

"Everything Goes On" - Porter Robinson

Have you ever listened to a song and your brain just went OH MY FEELS TIME HWRAH HEH HAHEHRAHAA HEWREHAGH