#Project turned out way pinker than I anticipated too

[halfspunthreads-crafts]

Usually this turns out looking super stretched when I work with circular needles instead of DPN. Good job, me!

[ellenembee]

The Revelation of All Things - 35. In which stoicism is put to the test

Read the full fic on AO3.

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Cassandra took another swing at the practice dummy, grunting loudly as the giant two-handed sword swung around her head and landed with precision on her mark. It had been more than a week since the Inquisitor left for the Western Approach, and Cassandra was at a loss on what to do with herself.

The Inquisitor had been apologetic about the switch, but Cassandra had still been disappointed at being replaced as part of the mission. She understood the necessity of taking Dorian, of course. It wasn't that she blamed any of them. She was simply bored. Their brief trip to Redcliffe with Dorian had been her first and only time away from Skyhold since their arrival. During the Inquisitor's trip to Crestwood, there had still been much to do to repair and clean up around the fortress. However, most of the work had been completed or was now being addressed by skilled workers. Satinalia two days ago had provided a much needed respite, but other than that, assisting Cullen and Leliana in training new recruits could only allay the restlessness to a certain point. She'd asked the advisors if there was more she could do, but it seemed the plans for the ball at the Winter Palace were falling into place rather easily.

They'd received a note from Scout Harding this morning that the Inquisitor had arrived in the Western Approach as anticipated. Now they all waited for word from the Inquisitor herself about the Grey Wardens, which Leliana said should be arriving shortly. In the meantime, Cassandra tried to stay busy.

She let the sword fall to her side and wiped the sweat from her brow. Despite the cooler temperatures in the mountains, she found she still easily worked up a sweat in full armor. Her muscles ached from the hours of training with the recruits this morning. Perhaps she could see if the library had any decent books to read. Dorian's constant presence in the library tended to deter her from searching too closely for the type of book she most enjoyed, but she had a feeling they were there somewhere. Now that she didn't have to risk the sharp-tongued mage's teasing eyes, the idea became more appealing.

She sheathed her sword and headed up the stairs to the great hall. She passed by Solas on her way to the stairs, but he'd become so used to people using the space as a pass-through, he didn't even look away from the mural. Climbing the stairs to the library above, she was surprised to see so many people in the relatively small space. She was even more surprised to find the Commander standing among the shelves, scanning titles. He looked drawn and tired. She made a mental note to check in on him a little more often in the next few days.

"Good afternoon, Cullen. It seems we had the same thought."

Cullen nodded at her but said nothing, and she was perplexed to note the tinge of pink that appeared on his somewhat pallid cheeks.

"Looking for something in particular?"

"I- uh... I'm just looking for some... err... strategy books."

He said it as if he were questioning it himself, and Cassandra raised a brow at him. He tinged a little pinker, and she walked over to stand by him, reading off the titles he was looking at.

"'Culture and Origins of the Dwarven Kingdoms,' 'Human History through the Ages,' 'The History of the Chantry'.... these look more like history books. Is there something I can help you find?"

"No... uh... no, thank you. I simply thought..." Cullen sighed and shifted uncomfortably as she continued to look at him. Finally, his shoulders slumped in resignation. "I thought I might find a book on Dalish culture here."

"Dalish...? To learn more about the Inquisitor? Did you have another misunderstanding?"

"What? Oh... no, nothing like that. I just wanted to know more... more about... uh..."

He didn't seem to know where to go from there, and Cassandra finally decided to take pity on him. "I am not here to judge your book selections, Cullen. Far from it. I came to search for a book myself. I simply thought I could help you."

"Oh. Well, thank you. I'd appreciate that... What are you searching for? Perhaps I can return the favor."

Cassandra's cheeks betrayed her in the same way Cullen's had earlier. "I am unsure. I thought I might look through the titles until something caught my interest."

It wasn't necessarily true, but not strictly a lie either. She would take any book that might be remotely interesting at this point. Cullen seemed to notice the blush and gave her a smirk but mercifully didn't press the point. They both began scanning the rows and soon moved on to separate areas. Several minutes later, she came across some promising titles on the bottom row of a shelf in what had become Dorian's corner.

"Cullen, what about these?"

He walked over and knelt with her to inspect the titles. "Yes. It's a good start anyway."

"You might also speak with Josephine if you have not already. I know she did much research on the Dalish when we first realized the Inquisitor would be with us for some time."

Cullen nodded as he pulled a few of the books from the shelf then stood up again. "Yes, that's true. I remember her giving me quite a lecture after that first misunderstanding in the war room. I'll ask her the next time I see her." He lowered himself into the chair in the corner and then glanced up as Cassandra. "Don't tell Dorian I sat in his chair. I would never hear the end of it."

Cassandra lifted a brow. "I would not dream of it."

Cassandra continued to search for a book, but instead of focusing on the book titles in front of her, she found her thoughts turning to why Cullen might be looking into Dalish culture. She wasn't so oblivious that she'd missed Cullen's gazes toward their Herald, which had started early on in Haven. She'd also noticed the Inquisitor's preference for their Commander's company, but until the night at the tavern, she hadn't really suspected anything might be going on between them. Now, Cullen wanted to learn more about Dalish culture? Her inner romantic thrilled at the implications, though she also wondered about the implications for the Inquisition. Would it weaken their credibility to have such an obvious conflict of interest? She would consider it further before raising her concerns with either of them.

Cassandra suddenly wished she'd been able to develop a closer relationship with the Inquisitor. They'd been out in the field together for weeks at a time and maintained a friendly camaraderie, but she could never seem to move past a certain point in the elf's defenses. The Inquisitor still kept many of them at an arm's length, but unlike Varric and Dorian, Cassandra wasn't the type to force friendly intimacy on the Inquisitor. Perhaps she should ask Josephine a few questions herself.

Cassandra gave up on the books and took the stairs down to the great hall to Josephine's office. The ambassador paced in front of her fire, talking to herself quietly and scribbling down a few words here and there. She paused and blushed slightly when she saw Cassandra enter the room.

"Cassandra. I apologize for my lack of decorum. It's been a long..."

"Year?"

Josephine laughed and nodded. "My, my... it has been almost a year since I joined you all, hasn't it? I wouldn't trade it for anything, though. What could be better than saving all of Thedas?"

"Indeed. I am glad you enjoy the challenge. I-" Cassandra stopped, unsure of how to broach the subject. Usually, she simply remained forceful and direct, but something told her that wasn't necessarily the best way to make friends. "I was wondering if you had a moment to speak about a - a personal matter."

Josephine looked down at her board and nodded. "I'm not getting anywhere with my current project. I could use a distraction. What can I do for you?"

"I have noticed that you and the Inquisitor seem to have a... closer relationship than she has with some others here."

Josephine smiled. "Yes, we've... become closer in the past few weeks."

"I have done my best to be pleasant and welcoming to her, but I cannot seem to get beyond what seems like friendly acquaintances. How... how were you able to... to become..." Cassandra let out a noise of frustration. "I was simply wondering how I might become better friends with the Inquisitor."

If Josephine was amused, she did a good job hiding it. "I understand what you mean. I, too, had some difficulty at first. Part of that might be her general shyness and quiet nature."

"Yes, I had thought of that. I tend to be much more... direct. I was unsure if that was off-putting for her. Perhaps she and I are not suited for friendship."

Josephine shrugged. "Oh, I don't know about that. You have to understand that, for her, building relationships is difficult. But as she's grown in her role with us, I've seen her become less reticent... much more open to discussing her life and thoughts."

"So I should ask her more about her life? Or must I wait for her to speak of those things?"

"The Inquisitor does respect directness even if it makes her uncomfortable sometimes, so I can't imagine you would have too much trouble once you started. Perhaps you could simply ask basic questions. Try to get her to talk about herself. I imagine she doesn't have many people who actually ask her how she is doing. Cullen might be the only one who does so on a regular-"

The door opened behind them to reveal Leliana and Cullen. Leliana quickly took in the scene while passing by.

"Josephine, we've received word from the Inquisitor. Cassandra, it's good that you're here. Please join us."

Cassandra felt a bit like she'd simply been in the right place at the right time but followed the advisors into the war room nonetheless. If she could be helpful, she would be.

As Cullen handed the newest reports from the Western Approach to Josephine, Leliana spoke. "The Inquisitor was unharmed in the altercation, but the confrontation with the Grey Wardens did not go well. We were hoping for a resolution there, but... regardless, Hawke and Stroud are now scouting a nearby Warden fortress that had been thought to be abandoned. The leader, a Venatori by the name of Erimond, fled in that direction after the fighting began."

Cullen took a deep breath and shook his head before responding. "I know we don't have confirmation, yet, but I think we should assume that we'll need to lead an assault on the fortress and prepare accordingly. Do we have any plans or drawings of the fortress?"

Leliana nodded. "I can obtain them, but it will take some time. We should also assume that every moment we wait, more Grey Wardens will be bound to demons in the way she describes."

Josephine, still looking over the papers, raised her head in time to hear their planning. "Of course this would have to happen as we're trying to prepare for the ball at Halamshiral. You all aren't thinking of ignoring the peace talks in favor of this assault, are you? I understand how a demon army is a frightening prospect, but add to that a country in chaos from the assassination of the Empress and..."

"The peace talks are certainly important, too, and we will be there," Cullen assured her, "but if we are truly pitting ourselves against all of the Orlesian and Ferelden Grey Wardens... an assault of this magnitude requires immediate action if we're going to make a move any time in the next few months. I need to start sending supplies. If the Inquisitor could take that Keep..."

"I'm sure she will. Especially with Lieutenant Rozellene on her way with the reinforcements for Captain Rylen," said Leliana.

Cullen merely hummed in response and leaned over the map of Orlais. She could see him already beginning to work through scenarios for the assault in his mind.

Cassandra had remained silent to this point, but she couldn't help wondering aloud, "Do we have the influence necessary in Orlais to send that many troops? We are on speaking terms with the Empress, but will she allow us to send an entire army into her country without some sort of tacit understanding between our parties?"

Josephine looked a bit impressed by Cassandra's comment and shook her head. "That is another reason we cannot do too much before the ball. In truth, I'm not sure we can do more than fortify the Keep with troops. As unstable as relations are between the warring factions, an outside force sending siege equipment into Orlais would surely be seen as an act of aggression."

Cullen let out what sounded like a small growl. "How can I prepare for an assault if I can't begin organizing my troops?"

Josephine raised an eyebrow, but kept a serene look on her face. "You can. You must simply do it here until we are ready to begin sending them out. As I said, fortifying the Keep would be a start - if you happen to send a few more contingents than is strictly necessary, I doubt anyone would raise an alarm."

Cullen nodded. This close to him, Cassandra could see the exhaustion in the way he held himself. It was so subtle, she wasn't sure the others noticed, and she was once again impressed with how well Cullen was holding up against the lyrium withdrawal symptoms. He would always tell her when he was having more difficulty than normal, of course. But he remained focused on his duties and on the goals of the Inquisition throughout everything. She respected him greatly for it.

"Cullen, I offer you my services in organizing and training, as always."

He gave Cassandra a half smile and tilted his head to her. "Thank you, Cassandra. Your assistance is appreciated."

The meeting only lasted a few more minutes as Leliana talked through the logistics of acquiring drawings of Adamant and each advisor gave brief updates on plans for infiltrating the ball. Josephine and Cullen spoke briefly after the meeting, and from the look on the ambassador's face, the conversation likely had to do with the topic Cassandra and Cullen had been discussing earlier in the library.

 **

 Later that afternoon, Cassandra stopped by Cullen's office to discuss their first steps in preparing for the assault. She walked in to find Cullen surrounded by soldiers and messengers. He dealt with them one by one as Cassandra walked to the corner to sit in one of two plush chairs by the fire. She absently wondered when he had acquired such furniture. She couldn't recall that it had been there the last time she visited his office.

Finally, the last messenger left, and Cullen walked over to her. He sat down heavily in the chair opposite hers, the firelight accentuating the dark circles under his eyes.

"Harritt has expressed concern that the armory is running out of raw materials for armor. We'll need to send parties to all the regions we're currently holding to collect materials."

Cassandra grunted. "I would be happy to lead some of those parties, if you think a personal touch would help with... expediency."

Cullen chuckled. "Perhaps. Most of our supply lines are holding up well, but I think our agents in the Storm Coast could use a strong presence to help them remain... on task."

"I will leave tomorrow, then," Cassandra affirmed. "I would like to take Blackwall with me. He has been downcast since the Inquisitor left to deal with the Grey Wardens without him. A mission will take his mind off things."

Cullen nodded. "Good idea. You might also consider taking Solas and Sera with you. You never know when you might need the skills of a mage or a rogue."

Cassandra let out a noise of disgust. "That maddening rogue elf! Our first trip to the Storm Coast together was quite enough."

"Well, your other option is Cole."

"What is it about rogues that make them so insufferable?" Cassandra said with a sneer before sighing loudly. "Sera it is, then." She paused a moment and simply looked at him in the dim light. "You look tired, Cullen."

The Commander looked away from her uncomfortably. "I am. It's been... a rough few days. The nightmares seem to be getting worse, and since the Inquisitor left..."

He stopped abruptly and turned a deep shade of red. His eyes remained turned away from her.

Cassandra wondered briefly what he'd been about to say, but settled with, "You are working yourself too hard. You have already proven yourself capable in your duties."

He finally looked back at her, frustration clouding his expression. "And yet some days I feel as if I'm drowning in the endless line of things that need to be done. How can I ignore that?"

"You do not ignore it. You delegate. That is part of being a commander. With Captain Rylen in the Western Approach, you can rely on him to know the best methods for getting troops there and to take care of any other preparations we might need to make. I know it makes you uneasy, but there are many people here to help you. I am one of them."

He gave her a feeble smile before standing. "Thank you again, Cassandra. I need to inspect the training grounds for tomorrow's exercises. Would you care to join me?"

Cassandra stood, and they walked out to the practice area together.

 **

 The next day, Cassandra left with her party to ensure the Storm Coast remained tightly within Inquisition control. Things had certainly become more lax in the time since the Inquisitor had first gained their loyalty, but overall, the mission went smoothly... despite the constant bickering between Solas and Sera. Blackwall, Maker bless him, often engaged Sera himself to allay tensions.

The party returned a week later to news that the Inquisitor and her companions had, in fact, taken Griffon Wing Keep with little assistance from Rylen and his soldiers if the Captain's reports were to be believed. Cassandra thought she'd gotten over being impressed by the Inquisitor's almost ruthless efficiency, but taking the keep - along with the laundry list of other tasks she'd accomplished - had left Cassandra in awe once again. The elf had also closed all the rifts and was now heading to the oasis to search through the ruins and hopefully find a purpose for the shards.

At the same time, reports from Captain Rylen had also included mention of darkspawn in the area. The Inquisitor had followed the trail as far as she could, but they needed to build a bridge over a poisoned area in order to find where the undead were coming from. Cullen had sent immediate word that laborers were on their way, as well as orders for Lieutenant Rozellene to stay where she was for now to assist Rylen. Cassandra noted that he also took the opportunity to send a few more troops with the laborers than strictly necessary, as Josephine had suggested.

She also noticed that he looked even more pale and tired than he had before she left. She began checking in on him at least once a day. Most of the time, she had an excuse as they were now working together more closely on training the troops to ready them for the battle.

Nearly a week passed before they received word from the Inquisitor. The party had found the temple in the oasis and opened the doors with the shards. Cullen had turned somber at the revelation that the temple contained wisps that seemed to infuse the Inquisitor with heightened magical abilities, but Cassandra could only be glad that the Inquisitor had received these abilities and not the Venatori or Corypheus himself. The Inquisitor and her party were staying in the area to help some locals, clear out the Venatori presence and close the rifts. Then, she would head to the Emerald Graves and anticipated she would be back in Skyhold within two weeks, just in time for final preparations for the ball at Halamshiral.

Then, three weeks to the day after the Inquisitor had left, Hawke and Stroud showed up at the gates of Skyhold with a report on Adamant. Using her information and the plans Leliana had found from the original construction of Adamant, they came up with a strategy for attack. It wasn't perfect, but they would refine the plan as they obtained more information.

Cassandra got up early the next morning to ready the practice area for morning exercises. Hawke had agreed to assist her and Cullen in training the men and women for what they might expect in a battle situation, and Cassandra wanted to make sure everything was in perfect order for the Champion.

A little after dawn, just as she finished setting things up, she heard a faint yelling. Looking to the battlements, the terrified movements of the guards had her running for the stairs immediately. As she approached, the yelling - or screaming more like - became louder. She burst through the doors of the vacant tower and rushed to a guard who was pounding on the door to Cullen's tower. Inside, she could hear him still - anguished, painful cries interlaced with nearly incoherent words of denial.

The guard panicked. "My Lady Seeker, the doors are locked! We cannot get in!"

Cassandra pulled out the key Cullen had given her a few nights earlier when explaining his decision to lock up his office. She'd thought it a good plan at the time, but now, it felt like an unnecessary delay. She turned the lock and rushed into the room only to find it empty. The screams were coming from the loft. Climbing the stairs as quickly as possible, she found him thrashing wildly in his bed.

"Maker bless him - he is asleep!"

Directing the guards who had followed her up to hold his legs, she grabbed him by the arms and started shaking him.

"Cullen! Cullen, wake up! You are having a nightmare."

Her words seemed to have no effect, and she dodged his arm as he attempted to fend off whatever was attacking him in his dream. Why wouldn't he wake up? She shook him again.

"Commander! You are dreaming. You must wake up now!"

Cullen stopped thrashing quite so much, but he remained solidly asleep, still yelling and occasionally convulsing. Grimacing, and unsure of what else to do, she pulled her hand back and slapped him across the face.

Nothing. A stab of real fear pierced her heart.

His shouts devolved into incoherent mumbling and pitiful whimpers. She waited, and then shook him again. After a few moments, she was horrified to realize that he'd begun sobbing in his sleep. He curled up in a ball in the bed as the sobs racked his body. She shook him even harder, nearly frantic in her fear for him. Could a demon be attacking him in his sleep?

"Cullen! Wake up!"

Still nothing.

The guards had let go of the Commander's legs when he stopped thrashing and now stood awkwardly at the end of the bed. She pointed to the water pitcher.

"Someone bring me the pitcher!"

A guard quickly picked it up and brought it to her. Without another thought, she stood from the bed and threw the contents of the pitcher directly into Cullen's face.

[mathematicianadda]

More Great Ways to Annoy a Mathematician

Which Ratio is Truly Golden?

I find it troubling that the golden ratio has so little in common with the golden rule.

Like, if you did unto others 1.618 times what you’d have them do unto you, then we’d all wind up exhausted.

And if you’re only doing 1/1.618 times unto them, then isn’t that a bit lazy?

  A Puzzle About Rates

I’ve always enjoyed those puzzles like, “If 3 chickens can lay 3 eggs in 3 days, then how long will it take 100 chickens to lay 100 eggs?” They’re counter-intuitive (e.g., in my example, each chicken lays 1 egg per 3 days, so the answer is also 3 days), yet deal only with simple constant rates.

So what if the rates weren’t constant? Like in, say, a bureaucracy, where 20 times more people will accomplish only 1/20th as much?

(Sorry for putting the answer upside down. It reads: “Please complete the attached form (Z302: Aggregate Task Completion Rate Information Request) and we’ll process your inquiry in 4-6 weeks.”)

  In this case, “a mathematician” refers specifically to Matt Parker, whose excellent book Humble Pi discusses the first two of these mistakes.

  The Asymptote of Happiness

Lots of poets have found asymptotes a convenient literary symbol – the idea of eternal striving is a resonant one (even beyond the eternal striving of the struggling algebra student).

  I love me some Raymond Smullyan.

Sorry again for putting the answer upside down. I dunno why I thought that was a clever idea. Mostly just forces you to turn off the auto-rotate setting on your phone.

Anyway, it reads: “Ask anything. You should already know not to buy lowfat yogurt.”)

  Proving a New Theorem

Not that I’ve ever felt this myself. I’m just speculating.

  P-R-E-N-A-T-A-L

What is parenting, if not a neat LARP?

(LARP = Live-Action Role-Playing Game, for those of you with less geeky acumen than I anticipate my audience to have.)

By the way, my friend Rayleen once described to me a brilliant comic, where one person asks, “When’s the baby due?” and the other person is drawn with a small horizontal stick figure emerging from their stick torso. (See? It’s such a good comic, I can just describe it.)

  The Sales Pitch for Math

I think a lot about the different arguments for math, and the ways that they support or contradict each other. Is it a beautiful art? An urgent set of universal civic skills? Key preparation for technical professions?

The answer is yes to all three. But not for all math, and not all at once – and attempting to blend the purposes can lead to a muddle.

  The Meaning of “Let”

It’s always tickled me that the mathematician’s verb “let,” which sounds so chill and laissez-faire, is actually a binding command.

  “All Happy Families Are Alike; Every Unhappy Family is Unhappy In Its Own Way”

I wrote a bunch of these a few years ago. This one has the benefit of being true: all circles are geometrically similar, but not all ellipses are.

(The same is true, by the way, of parabolas and hyperbolas. The former are all the same basic shape, just zoomed in or zoomed out, whereas the latter constitute a whole family of different shapes.)

(Chew on that, Tolstoy.)

  The Court-Appointed Translator

I wrote this little dialogue after listening to a great episode of The Allusionist, before it turned out that Game of Thrones would suffer the worst collapse in storytelling that I have ever experienced.

Oh well!

As my wife said, “At least this way we’ll never have to bargain with our daughter about when she’s old enough to watch Game of Thrones. The ending is so bad, in 10 or 15 years no one will be watching it anymore.”

  Identity Politics

This is a really dumb pun.

Also one of the more popular cartoons in this list.

Go figure.

  Another Dumb Pun

This one is inspired by that time Malcolm Gladwell referred to eigenvectors as “igon vectors,” and Steven Pinker blasted him for it, at which point Gladwell blasted Pinker for something else, and eventually we all lost the thread and just went about our days.

And if you want more godawful matrix puns, I’ve got ’em.

  I don’t know what day you’re reading this, but guess what? It’s also a bad approximation of pi! So go ahead and celebrate!

(Though if you want some very clever alternative pi days, check out Evelyn Lamb’s page-a-day calendar, which includes a Pi Day each month, and not where you’d expect!)

  Uncountably Many Wishes

After I posted this, there was a bunch of discussion on Twitter about whether I’d mischaracterized the Axiom of Choice, which is totally possible, in which case, oops.

Also, some folks pointed out that it’s pretty greedy to wish for uncountably many wishes, when you could just as easily wish for countably many.

To which I say: What’s the point of a magic lamp, if not to have greed be your undoing?

  Maximization vs. Minimization

For lots of optimization problems, maximizing makes sense, but minimizing doesn’t. (Or vice versa.) An example: What’s the largest rectangle you can make from 4 feet of wire?

It’s the 1-by-1 square, with an area of 1 square foot.

But what’s the smallest rectangle you can make (in terms of area)? Well, you could make the 1.9999 by 0.0001 rectangle, which has a very tiny area…

Or you could make the 1.999999 by 0.000001 rectangle, which has an even smaller area…

Or the 1.99999999999999 by 0.000000000000001 rectangle, whose area is microscopic…

…and so on.

I hope that was worth it! And I suspect it wasn’t! Anyway, moving on.

  More thoughts here.

  The Villainous Mathematician Explains His Plan

Clearly this villain should be assigning more group work.

Anyway, I for one am curious to know how a complex-valued currency might work. I’d pay a hefty fee for an accountant or tax attorney who can turn imaginary assets into real ones, or real debts into imaginary ones.

  The Cat on the Bed

I found it very hard to draw a decent space-filling curve.

Also, to draw a decent cat.

  Only Slept Four Hours

This is how I feel about anyone who sleeps less than 7 hours in a given night.

  Axioms of Life

This is my version of that xkcd about kitties.

Also pretty well summarizes parenthood. I still enjoy a cerebral geek-out, as I always have; but I also really enjoy holding my daughter in my arms and calling her the world’s best monkey over and over.

  How Many Stars?

I would totally read a graphic novel about the dating life of Georg Cantor.

The problem is that no one is going to write this graphic novel except for me.

Oh well. I’m under contract for two more books at the moment, but after that will come TRANSFINITE LOVE: THE ROMANTIC ESCAPADES OF A SET THEORIST.

  Quick-Draw Answers

Drawn from an actual experience, in my first week teaching 7th grade. I hadn’t really figured out how to tee up a problem-solving experience yet.

  Twenty Questions

Drew this one for a Jim Propp essay. Recommended as always!

  A New Proof

A teaching friend of mine had a whole list of proofs that 1 = 0, which he busted out at various developmentally appropriate points in grades 6 through 12.

I love that. Curious how far you could get writing a book of proofs that 1 = 0, each introducing a key idea in mathematics…

Maybe that’ll be my next project after the George Cantor romance novel.

  E = mc

Philosophical question: Is this a pun?

The case against: “A pun is a joke that plays on words that sound similar but mean different things. This isn’t doing that.”

The case for: “A pun is a joke that plays on linguistic expressions with similar surface features, but different deep meanings. This is doing exactly that: the premise of the joke is that an exponent and a footnote are both denoted with a superscript, yet mean very different things.”

So I guess this has a deep resemblance to puns, but lacks a surface resemblance… which is itself, not very pun-like.

Ruling: Not a pun!

  “The Exception Proves the Rule”

I guess you hear this inane phrase less often these days. But there was a time, kiddos, when people could hear a devastating counterexample to what they were arguing, and then blithely say “the exception proves the rule” with a straight face.

  The Math Sequence

I’m pretty agnostic on the math sequence. But I have strong intuitions that Star Wars should be screened in the order: IV, V, I, II, III, VI, and so on. (I view the sequels as pretty optional. Prequels too, for that matter, but if you limit yourself to the original trilogy, it’s a boring problem.)

  The “Same” Age

A lot of people on Facebook seemed to read this as though the right-hand character was creeping on Ariana Grande. Not my intention at all! I just wanted to pick a mid-20s celebrity. Could’ve just as easily been Bieber.

(My primary association with Ariana Grande, by the way, is her performance in the short-lived bar mitzvah-themed Broadway musical Thirteen.)

  Lemniskate

I’m not sure there’s a joke here.

I’m fond of this drawing anyway.

  Linear Child

Michael Pershan, the internet’s most relentlessly analytical math educator, inexplicably loved this joke, so I call it a win.

Someone on social media speculated about the position by which this linear combination had been “conceived,” which I found quite vulgar and upsetting (but which I also sort of invited by drawing a comic about procreating vectors).

  If P, then Q

Where do we draw the line between logical succession, and outright stalking? I leave that to the courts.

  Loons and Lunes

Sometimes I just want to do a cute drawing that has no joke in it, okay?

  The Vertical Line Test

I’m actually skeptical that the phrase “vertical line test” has any value. To me it feels like a fancy name for a fact that doesn’t need a fancy name. And, as in the two-column-proof version of geometry, giving fancy names to facts that students should be reasoning out for themselves can become obfuscatory rather than clarifying.

  Whose Fractal is Whose?

Please join me in making “Patricia gasket” a thing! E.g., “Did you know Copley Square in Boston is the approximate shape of the mathematical figure known as a Patricia Gasket?”

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