#RED CARD BEEYOTCH

[kaywavy]

AAAHHHHHH GET FUCKED PANAMA

[pokemonpundit]

6 Smeargle Challenge

A while back, I was writing about my attempt to beat pokemon Sun with a team of 6 Smeargles. I also don’t bother to do any grinding beyond beating the trainers along each route, but that’s pretty much always true for my runs. 

Smeargle stats are atrocious, except for their speed. Though it still hurts to look at the stat screen and see both their attack stats are less than their level. Normally the saving grace of Smeargle is its limitless moveset, which is why you still occasionally see one in competitive battles. However, I don’t have the ability to Sketch any move in the game; I just have to work with what’s around. 

I’m skipping around a bit because for the most part things go the same. Most trainers aren’t that difficult, even with Smeargles, because your team of 6 can just wear down their team of 1-3. You’ll probably have to trudge back to the pokemon centre between each battle, maybe two if you’re lucky. 

That’s not to say no regular trainer poses a challenge. There’s one with a Miltank on route 8 that knows Milk Drink, which I literally cannot damage fast enough to counter the healing, even if I poison it. My only hope is get it close, then kill it during the 5 turns its trapped in a Rollout, while also hoping that the Rollout doesn’t just destroy my entire team. 

Most of the trial pokemon are no threat. Since its only one pokemon, you can just poison them, then hope they die faster than your party does. Some of the faster ones, like Mimikyu or Kommo-o make it tricky to set up the poison (or use any move for that matter), but you can just equip Lax Incense and pray to RNGesus to make sure your poison goes off fine. 

The one exception is Totem Salazzle, which you can’t poison, or even burn. As far as I can tell, you also can’t access any Leech Seed to Sketch. Luckily for me, Salazzle has a 4x weakness to Ground, so even a Smeargle can kill it. Though be careful not to trigger the Salazzle’s Peteya Berry, because then you’ll just get sweeped. 

As cool as the totem fights are, they can’t quite compare to gym battles because they can’t get past this flaw of just having just 1 or 2 pokemon. 

Let’s quickly go over all the boss trainer fights:

Hala: I already covered him in a previous post, but I’ll do it again here.   He’s tricky because you’re running a team of weak normal-types, and also before you have many good moves.   You basically have to use Red Card on his starting Mankey, then hope the Makuhita is the one forced in. Makuhita doesn’t hurt you too much, giving you time to throw a pile of X Items at one of your Smeargle. 

Olivia: Her Nosepass is not blessed in the attack stat, so you can use an X Defense and the Leech Seed you sketched from the Phantumps outside to heal back any damage you still take. Boldore is just as terrible. The Lycanroc can break through but at this point its 6 on 1, and it doesn’t stand much of a chance.

Molayne: Set up against the Skarmory, defeat it and the Metang really easy, then lose to the Dugtrio like ten times in a row before you remember that Night Shade is a move that exists.

Guzma 1: Not actually difficult, but this happened:  My Smeargle: Charm  Guzma’s Golisopod: Swords Dance  *repeat 19 more times*

Guzma 2: Second verse, same as the first

Nanu: Nanu decided to use his Z-Move against one of my Smeargle’s that already had only 1 health left. Not actually that hard though.

Guzma 3: This one took forever.  The First Impression almost always kills something, so you just have to take it. Super Fang then Night Shade to force the Emergency Exit ability.  Next, swap to a full-health Smeargle with Lax Incense, and hope Ariados misses at least 1 attack while you set up X defenses. If the Fell Stinger kills something during this part, you might as well restart. Also add one X Sp. Def for next part.  You basically have one shot against the Masquerain before it just sweeps your whole team, so I used Rock Blast, and hope it hits 4 or 5 times.  Comparatively, the Pinsir and second half of Golisopod aren’t that tough, but if you get unlucky here you’ll have to defeat the Ariados and Masquerain all over again next time.

Lusamine 1: Just set up against the Clefable, hope its Metronome doesn’t throw anything too stupid your way (like Final Gambit), and then sweep the rest of the team. The Lilligant is funny because it keeps trying Teeter Dance when half your team has the Own Tempo ability.

Hapu: I went in to try and figure out a strategy, but I won on the first try, so apparently floundering around randomly works here. I did learn that I can’t even OHKO a Gastrodon with Wood Hammer. That’s a 4 times effective 120 power move... and I still can’t one-shot with it. That’s Smeargle stats for you. 

Lusamine 2: Basically the same as the first battle, but I poisoned the Clefable and it just decided not to take damage for some reason. Look at this smug bastard:

Gladion 4: No particularly intelligent comment here. Just that his Crobat is a beeyotch who wouldn’t let me a single move. 

Hau 7: Most of the Hau battles weren’t worth mentioning, but I died at least a dozen times to crits from his Decidueye here. It would have been was less annoying if he used it first so I didn’t have the beat the whole rest of his team each time, but this is the kind of nonsense I’m used to by this point. 

And with that, I’m finally at the gates of the Pokemon League, where Kukui is making questionable fashion choices for the weather out here. (Although I’m still wearing the default capris, so who am I to judge). This is my final team as I enter the Elite Four:

I haven’t actually beat them yet, so I’ll go do that now. Wish me luck.