#RYAN THE STAGE ACTOR HAS ME WEAK

[ppeuppeuppeu]

Ryan Corr in Arcadia (Sydney Theater Company 2016), a play by Tom Stoppard, directed by Richard Cottrell

[harley-sunday]

Encore [01]

Summary: The new Disney+ show ‘Encore’ brings together former castmates of a high school musical, tasking them with re-creating their original performance in a high school reunion like no other. Emotions run high as you face faded friendships, long-forgotten controversies, killer choreography, and an ex-boyfriend you haven’t seen in eighteen years.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader [unnamed OFC, nicknamed ‘Ace’)

Warnings: None

Word count: 8.4k

AN: So, here it is, the re-write of Encore. For those of you who have read it when it was first published, there are some subtle changes in this first part, but the real fun doesn’t start until part 2, which will be online tomorrow. Hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think :)

Masterlist

Cursing quietly you set out in a jog, one hand holding your purse close to your body while the other is clutching the double espresso that made you late in the first place. You make a mental note to check if they’ve replaced the coffee machine in your hotel room when you get back tonight, because you really don't want to go on another early-morning Starbucks run tomorrow in case they haven’t.

Still, you’re parked relatively closeby and so it’s only a short run to the double doors which you all but burst through, coming to a sudden stop when there are two people in your way who look like they’ve been waiting for you. They introduce themselves as part of the crew and help you with your microphone, telling you to keep it on as much as possible and not to forget to hand it back at the end of every day. You only half listen because all of a sudden the familiarity of the place hits you and you’re surprised to see nothing has changed, not really anyway. It’s almost like time has stood still and the sense of melancholy that washes over you makes you a little weak in the knees. 

There’s no time to reminisce any further though, because once your mic is in place they tell you everyone else is already here and waiting for you in the theater room, and so you’re off again, running towards the other end of Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High School for the first time in eighteen years. 

You’re a little out of breath when you get there and want to allow yourself a moment to catch it again, maybe calm your nerves a little, but you know they’re waiting for you and so you take one last deep breath and open the door. 

There’s a group of nine people on the stage who, like you, are the show’s main cast. They’re all talking to each other amicably and you wonder if they’ve kept in touch all these years. One by one they turn to you as you make your way towards the front and it does absolutely nothing to calm your nerves. Some of them look surprised to see you and you don’t blame them, because once you left Sudbury after graduating high school you had no intention of ever coming back and so you cut ties rather vigorously. 

Two of the four cameras that are spread out across the room are now trained on you, but you try your hardest to act natural, because that’s what it said in the production brief they sent you last week, and so instead you try to focus on the people you haven’t seen for so long. 

It’s Nicole Matthews who greets you first, running towards you as you walk on stage. She presses a kiss to your cheek before she gives you a hug, a quiet, “So glad you made it, babe,” whispered into your ear. You hang on to her just a little longer because now that you’re finally getting to hug your best friend again for the first time in eighteen years it’s hard to let go. 

After Nicole you make your way down the line at a steady pace, greeting everyone with a hug, except for Michael Pratt who insists on doing the secret handshake he taught you during rehearsals all those years ago. You hand your coffee to John Ryan on your right, because unfortunately you’ll need both hands for this. It takes a little practice but then you remember the full routine and you can’t help but laugh when you nail it on your third try, earning you a wink from Johnny when he hands you your coffee back, “Still got it, huh kiddo?” 

All too soon there’s only one person left to greet and you know all eyes are on you when you walk towards Chris, the talking from before quieting down to a hushed whisper. It’s fine. You get it. You would want to know what happens next too. 

“Hi.”

He seems unsure what to do and after a second or two he pulls you in for a hug that’s a little awkward and might have not been such a good idea after all.

You give him a quick pat on the back before you pull back, and step to the left, trying to hide from view a little. There’s a whole range of emotions you’re going through right now and you’re not sure which one to settle one. If somehow you could walk out of here and just forget this ever happened, you probably would, even though you are sure Nicole would never let you. 

It’s then three more people walk in and so everyone’s attention shifts to the newcomers before they have a chance to ask questions you don’t have any answers to. 

The two men and one woman introduce themselves as the director, choreographer, and musical director for this project and tell you there’s a lot of work ahead of you, even though from tomorrow there will be some professionals to fill some of the minor roles and help with the choreography. They seem so unfazed about having a celebrity there that you can���t help but wonder if they got instructions from production or if they’re just used to working with well-known actors. You suppose, and hope, it’s the latter. 

“So, Grease,” the director, Coy, comments with a smile when he hands the scripts to Nicole to pass down the line, “that was already a classic by the time you performed it.” He asks everyone to tell him who had which role in the original production, taking notes and nodding fervently when he hears who played who. 

Coy looks up and smiles, “So, we have a lot to do, of course, if we’re gonna do a show in five days, but Grease doesn’t work unless you have fun. Unless you’re having fun, the show falls flat.” He looks to Adam, the musical director, “So today we’re gonna have a little bit of a singing session. That’ll let us know where you are, vocally.” 

Adam has the group form a semi-circle and hands each of you a piece of paper with the lyrics of ‘I Want it that Way’ by the Backstreet Boys on them, because, as he reasons, it was one of the biggest hits the year you performed Grease and you all need to go back to that place in time. 

Nicole starts, a little hesitant at first, but then she decides to go for it and it’s amazing and, like nineteen years ago, you are absolutely in awe of her voice. As more and more people sing their rendition of the song, you are actually surprised at the level of singers in the group and how serious everyone takes this. That is until Johnny and Michael decide to remake the song into a duet once it’s Johnny’s turn and their very serious facial expressions and interpretive dancing have you crying from laughter in no time. 

Chris is up next and finally you get to take a good look at him. He’s wearing a dark blue sweater that stretches across the muscles in his arms and chest, paired with black jeans, and sneakers, and it suits him. His voice is soft but clear and you can’t help but wonder why he never did more musical theater. You’ve followed his career, of course you have, and you’re proud to see what he’s accomplished, because you know how hard he’s worked to get there. 

It’s your turn then and instead of butterflies it feels like there’s a herd of elephants stomping around in your stomach. You step up anyway, because, with the exception of the three professionals, they’ve all heard you sing before. You haven’t sung in a long time, but you still know how to carry a tune, although you never really take any risks, and so if anything your rendition errs a little on the boring side. Still, you make it through the song without any real struggles and at the end Adam praises the group, saying he’s impressed at everyone’s vocal capabilities. 

Coy looks up from his seat then, where he’s been taking more notes ever since Nicole started singing, and informs you that they have decided to honor the original casting.

And so here you are, once again playing the Rizzo to Chris’ Kenickie. 

The rest of the day passes by in a blur of read-throughs, choreography, and more singing, and even though you know you’ll be dead-tired once you get back to your hotel tonight, you also can’t help but feel excited. You never pursued a career in acting or performing and so Grease was both your first and last venture out into the theater world, but God, did you like it.  

You’re a little lost in thoughts, watching a scene you’re not in from the side of the stage, thinking back on your days as a theater kid, when Chris comes up beside you, “How you holding up?” 

You know what he wants you to say, because this has been your spiel whenever you found each other in the wings, but you just can’t get the words out, there’s eighteen years worth of pain and heartache that needs to be dealt with first. Instead, you keep looking straight ahead at the scene in front of you, shaking your head ever so slightly to let him know, what, you’re not exactly sure.

He takes a step back and doesn’t say anything else until it’s his turn to enter the stage.   

There’s no time to unravel what the hell just happened because Nicole comes off stage and joins you then, gently bumping her hips against yours, “You ok, babe? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“The ghost of my fifteen-year old self,” you mutter quietly. A little louder then, hoping she’ll let it go, “Don’t worry about it, Nic.” 

“Well, at least no one’s gonna complain about the age difference between you two now,” she says with a grin, nodding towards the stage where Chris is going through his scene. She shakes her head, “God, I still can’t believe it was such an issue back then, only because he was, what? A year older?”

“Almost two,” you offer. You remember Mrs Linton pulling you aside to inform you there had been complaints about you being cast as Rizzo. She told you there were some people who were worried the age difference between you and Chris could be perceived as inappropriate, especially because you shared one very steamy makeout scene right before intermission, that went on for at least a few minutes. You were just a junior and so shocked to learn people had a problem with you that you offered to step down, but it turned out Mrs Linton was on your side, and she told you she’d kick your butt all the way back to second grade if you even so much as thought about letting them win.

You never found out who she meant by ‘them’ but you always thought Jessica Mullen, the girl playing Sandy, and Fiona Warren were behind all this. Jessica and Fiona were best friends, two of the most popular senior girls, and it was no secret Fiona had a huge crush on Chris back then. She also auditioned for the part of Rizzo, but Mrs Linton favored your approach to the character and so Fiona ended up being offered a role in the ensemble, which she declined with a temper-tantrum unprecedented by anything any two-year old has ever thrown. 

Ultimately, as a compromise, Mrs Linton made you and Chris skip the makeout scene during rehearsals, which seemed to stop the protests somewhat. You've often wondered if she would have done things differently had she known Chris and you were already dating for two months by the time rehearsals started and so steamy make out sessions were part of your daily routine anyway. Then again, you always had the feeling she very much knew about your relationship and was just playing her part. 

Nicole nudges you then, pulling you out of your memories, “It’s your cue, go!”

The producers thought it would be nice to have all of you go out to dinner after the first day back together, and so you find yourself at the Oak Barrel Tavern, sharing a table with Nicole, Johnny, Michael, Eric, and Chris, enjoying what everyone still considers to be the best burger in Sudbury. Funny how some things never change, you think, as you take a bite of your fries. 

Except for you and Michael, the rest of the table all graduated in the same year and are already two beers deep into a play-by-play of the many senior stunts they pulled. You watch Chris as he animatedly tells the story of how he, Johnny, and Eric toilet papered the principal’s house the night before graduation. Two cameras circle your table and you are certain some part of this story will make it to air, because it’s too good not to. Johnny tries to chime in, but instead keeps letting out these roaring laughs whenever he remembers another detail of that night and you can’t help but smile at the familiarity of it all. 

It’s strange, you think, how something as insignificant as performing a musical together made you form a bond with these people which even after nineteen years is still there. Sometimes you wonder if leaving Sudbury all those years ago really brought you the peace of mind you were looking for. Maybe you wouldn’t feel so restless now if you had just accepted that this would always be your hometown and this group of people would always be here. You realize then that there’s hardly been any catching up going on tonight and so you figure they must have all kept in touch in some way or another.

You and Eric get to talking then, during a lull in the conversation, and he easily admits that hadn’t it been for Chris he would have liked to asked you to go to Senior Prom with him, revealing that back then he had a  major crush on you. Your cheeks heat up at his confession and you can’t help but glance at Chris, who quickly adverts his eyes when you do. Turning back to Eric you try to make a joke about how he should have, because at least then you would have had a date, but the moment the words leave your mouth the awkward silence that follows makes you wish you hadn’t said anything.  

Chris throws you an angry look and Nicole just stares at you in disbelief, before coming to your rescue and telling everyone that it’s getting late and maybe it’s time to go home. 

You throw her what you hope is a grateful smile and get up, following the rest of the group outside, where the same crew that fitted you with your mic this morning is waiting for you and so you hand everything back to them like they asked you to

With a wave and a, “Goodnight everyone,” you head towards your car, not completely surprised when Nicole catches up with you.

“What the hell was that?”

“I-” you shake your head, “I don’t know. It came out before I knew it.”

“Well,” she says as she puts her hand on your shoulder and kisses your cheek, “we’ll discuss it over dinner tomorrow night.”

“Can’t wait,” you answer, a hint of sarcasm in your voice even though you are in fact looking forward to it. “See you tomorrow, Nic.” 

“Bye, babe,” she says as she opens her car door and lowers herself into her seat. You wait until she’s backed up out of her parking spot before you give her a little wave and continue on towards your car while you rummage through your purse to try and find the keys to your rental. You push the button needed to unlock the car and are about to open the door when you hear someone come up behind you. Of course. You let out a sigh, “I know what you’re gonna say-”

“You don’t,” he says, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and his foot kicking at the loose gravel near your tire. He looks up at you, his voice much softer when he says, “I can’t believe it’s been eighteen years, Ace.”

Hearing him use his old nickname for you sends a shiver down your spine and you hate how it brings back an onslaught of memories. You don’t say anything, just look at him, wondering where he’ll go with this. 

“Eighteen years is a long time.” He looks up at you, a sadness to his eyes that would make you a little weak in the knees had it not been for his next words, “Do you think that maybe it’s time to leave the past behind us? Maybe we could just start over?”

“We could just- Sorry, what?” You open your mouth to say more but find yourself at a momentary loss for words after what he’s suggested and so you stand there gaping like a stupid fish, which makes you even more angry. You shake your head and get in your car, “Goodnight, Chris.” 

The drive to your hotel only takes a couple of minutes, which means you’re still pretty upset when you get to your room. Your purse ends up being flung into a corner somewhere before you make your way to the minibar and grab all four of the miniature bottles of whiskey that are in there, taking them out onto the balcony with you. Downing the first makes your throat burn in not an entirely unpleasant way, although it does nothing to relieve you of your anger. 

Putting your feet up on the railing you lean back in your chair, head resting against the wall, and uncap the second tiny bottle. To hell with your good intentions of going to bed early, you think, knowing you won’t be able to sleep now anyway.

Today’s run to the theater room is almost a carbon copy of yesterday’s, down to the Starbucks cup in your hand because they didn’t replace the coffee maker in your room like they said they would and of course you forgot to check. The only difference is that you have a pounding headache and might just be a tad hungover. Oh well, there’s a first time for everything, you think as you make your way down to the stage once they've put your mic on.

Nicole eyes you suspiciously but doesn’t say anything, although you do see her glance in Chris’ direction not much later, the rest of the group just nodding and some of them mumbling a “Good morning,” to you. Chris keeps his distance, probably thinks you’re still mad at him, which, you know, you are. Sort of, anyway. It sounded so casual when he suggested leaving the past behind you, like none of what happened matters anymore. Then again, maybe it doesn’t. It’s all just very confusing and you guess that’s what annoys you most of all.

Adam steps onto the stage then and tells you his plans for today, wanting to go through the songs in order, with choreography, for now not bothering with the scenes in between. It’s the only thing you’ll do today, except for some wardrobe fittings after lunch, and so he warns you it’s going to be grueling and that you won’t get to stop until everyone’s at least ninety percent there. A few more people come on stage and are introduced as the extras, professional actors who will make up the ensemble and help with the choreography where needed. 

Your headache-induced bad mood helps you pull off ‘Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee’ with an attitude your sixteen-year old self wishes she had and even ‘There Are Worse Things I Could Do’ goes as well as it could. But then ‘We Go Together’ has you paired up with Chris for the first time and it’s awkward, and stiff, and when Coy reminds you that Rizzo is no longer mad at Kenickie at this point, you just nod and try to put in some extra effort to make it seem like there’s nothing going on between you and Chris, wanting to get it over with. 

Coy doesn’t comment on it any further, but pulls you and Chris aside at the end of the day, when the rest of the group is dismissed after what Kelly, the choreographer, deems "A great day of work."

Both you and Chris are sitting on the edge of the stage, Coy standing in front of you, looking from one to the other and back, almost as if he’s studying you. He waves his hand around then, “What am I missing here?” 

You shrug and out of the corner of your eye you see Chris do the same. You can’t help but smile when you realize it’s still very much you two against the rest of the world, even now, even when you’re sort of fighting.  

“Fine,” Coy says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you don’t have to tell me. I’m just sensing some history here that I hope won’t get in the way of your performance.” He looks up at you, “Don’t let this become about you two, ok? There are eight other people who deserve this to be a good show. So whatever it is, work it out.” And then, before you have a chance to respond, he walks away, muttering something that sounds like, “High school drama, man.”

Next to you, Chris sighs and looks at you, “Maybe he has a point.” 

“Hmm,” you shrug in a very non-committed kind of way. Your headache has reappeared, and you’re tired, and honestly, you just want to get back to your hotel room and take a quick nap.  

Chris seems unfazed by your attitude, like he always was, “We really should talk about it.” He jumps down from the stage, “Why don’t you come over? We could get some takeout and, I don’t know,-’

“Chris,” you scoff.

“You rather do this here?” He raises his eyebrows and nods towards the camera on your left, which, no doubt, is still rolling.

“I’d rather not do this at all right now,” you mutter quietly, although you know it’s not fair. A little louder then, “I’m having dinner with Nicole tonight, so-"

He just nods, “Fine,” even though his jaw sets in a way that tells you it’s anything but.

“Come in, come in!” Nicole steps aside to let you pass and tells you to walk straight ahead to the kitchen, where you are greeted by the rest of her family. Her husband introduces himself as Keith and tells you it’s great to finally meet you, before he points at the two little boys sitting at the table, “That’s Leo, and the other hooligan’s Robby.”

“I’m five!” Leo exclaims proudly, holding up four fingers.

You chuckle, “That’s awesome!” 

“The boys wanted you to sit in between them,” Nicole says from somewhere behind you, “hope you don’t mind?”

“Are you kidding me?” You wink at Robby, who looks at you expectantly, “Best seat in the house.” 

Dinner is spent catching up with Nicole, or trying to anyway, because Leo and Robby keep interrupting, wanting to tell you about anything and everything they deem important enough to share. Which, as it turns out, is a lot. After dessert, Nicole asks Keith to take the kids into the living room, because, as she puts it, “Mama needs some peace and quiet,” and so you find yourself, glass of wine in hand, on the back porch not much later. 

“You have a gorgeous family, Nic,” you tell her before you take a sip of your wine. “It’s really nice to finally get to meet them.” 

“Thank you.” A mischievous smile then, “So. You wanna tell me what’s going on between you and Evans?”

Never one to beat around the bush, you think and laugh, “Nothing’s going on, Nic.”

“Uhu,” is all she says in reply, folding her arms in front of her chest as she keeps looking at you, one eyebrow raised for good measure. 

You just shake your head but her looking at you like that makes you a little nervous and so, against better judgement you offer, “It’s complicated.”

“Uhu,”

“It is,” you reply, your voice suddenly an octave higher. You hesitate for a moment, but then you figure she knows most of it already anyway, and so you turn in your seat so you can face her, “You know I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up, Nic, and I don’t know it’s- It’s weird.”

She nods, encouraging you to go on.

You sigh and rub your temple, “Eighteen years is a long time, Nic.” 

“It is,” she agrees, “but maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet and at least try to be friends?” Her eyes grow kinder then, “You were always so good together.”

“I don’t know, I mean- And I know I keep saying this,” you hold up your hand when she starts to protest, “but it’s been such a long time. So much has happened. And none of it we went through together, you know? Does that even make sense?” You shrug and shake your head, “I guess our history together is both a blessing and a curse at this point.”

“You need to get out of your head, kid,” she offers with a stern look. “You’re setting this up for failure before it has even started.”

“This?” 

“Oh come on,” she shakes her head, “don’t tell me it never crossed your mind.” She sits up, “I’m going to ask you something and you need to swear on Bubbles’ life that you won’t give me some bullshit answer.” 

“Nicole,” you gasp, hand to your heart in pretend shock, but laughing at the same time. “You want me to swear on Mrs Linton’s dead goldfish? That’s fu-” but then you hear the french doors open and see two little boys running towards and so you have to adjust quickly and throw her a look for good measure, “-funny. Super funny. Funny haha. You’re funny.”

Nicole lets out a laugh and throws you a wink before she holds out her arms and smothers her two boys in kisses once they jump onto her lap, “Goodnight my little rebels, I love you.”

A chorus of “I love you, mama,” makes you smile and you watch the boys run back inside where they give you a quick wave from behind the door before they disappear upstairs. 

“So?” Nicole asks, as if nothing ever happened.

You glare at her, knowing she’ll never let it go, “Fine.” 

“Would you have come back to Sudbury to do this show if it weren’t for Chris?” 

You let your bottom lip roll between your teeth while you contemplate your reply, but of course you know the answer already. It wasn’t just for shits and giggles that you searched all the gossip sites for any information on his relationship status when you first agreed to do this. And so you shake your head, “No.” 

“You know I told Keith I wasn’t sure you’d even come back, right?” Nicole shakes her head, “After all you’ve been through after you and Chris- You know-”

“Yeah,”

“I still have all your letters,” she confesses with a smile. “Every single one of them.”

“Nic-”

“It was my way of keeping you close,” she says and shrugs. She tries to act as if it’s no big deal, but her voice catches on the last word and when she tries to smile it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She clears her throat, “I’m just glad to have you back.”

They’ve replaced the coffee machine in your room while you were out yesterday and so there’s no running towards the theater room once you make it to Lincoln-Sudbury this morning. You walk through the hallways at a leisurely pace, enjoying how much everything still looks the same, down to the blue color of the lockers lining the wall. 

You’re actually a little early and so you’re one of the first to arrive, only finding Johnny and Michael on stage. Michael insists you give the secret handshake another go and you can’t help but laugh when you nail it on the first try this time. 

Johnny gently pats your back, “It’s really good to have you back, kid.” He runs a hand through his hair, letting it rest at the base of his neck and looking a little flustered, “We always wondered what happened to you, you know, after you and Chris broke up and you left Sudbury-” 

“Thanks, Johnny,” you reply with a smile, “that means a lot.” 

“But you’ve been good?” Michael asks.

You nod, “I am now. It’s good to be back.” 

The door opens then and you see Chris and Jessica walk in together, Jessica telling him something that makes him laugh and all of a sudden you feel a pang of jealousy that you’re not necessarily proud of. You try to get back into the conversation with Michael and Johnny, but they’re talking about last night’s football game and so you just stand there, trying your hardest not to stare as Chris and Jessica step onto the stage. Before it can get awkward though, the rest of the group walks in and so all of a sudden there are nine people surrounding you and your attention is diverted elsewhere. 

Nicole waves at you from the other side of the stage and you smile back at her, mouthing a, “Morning,” at her.

Coy, Adam, and Kelly walk in next, followed by the ensemble, and not much later you find yourself reciting your lines over and over again because Coy wants to do a complete runthrough of the show this afternoon to prepare for the two dress rehearsals planned for tomorrow.

You find Chris on the side of the stage in between scenes and stand beside him, not saying anything because you’re so nervous you don’t even trust your own voice right now. But, you promised Nicole you’d do this, promised her you would try to make things right, and so here you are, reaching for his hand, your finger’s brushing against his skin before you gently tap the inside of his wrist four times. Tap-tap-tap-tap.

Meet me after practice

It’s been nineteen years since either of you last used this shorthand, but he must remember what it means because he nods in reply. 

You wait for him in what used to be your usual spot, all the way in the back of the parking lot where there’s a bench tucked away in the tree line. It’s been a while since you were dismissed by Coy and you worry he might not show up making your stomach turn. 

Letting your eyes fall to the ground you distract yourself by trying to get your breathing under control, hoping it will help you calm your nerves. When you look up again you can’t help but smile, because there he is, walking towards you and looking just as nervous as you feel, “Hi,”

“Hey,”

“Listen, Chris-” you start, just as he says something that you don’t quite catch. He nods for you to go first and so you clear your throat and start again, “You were right. We should talk-”

“Come again?” He grins, “Did you just tell me I’m right, Ace?” 

You stare at him, shaking your head, but there’s a smile playing on your lips because this is the best response you could have gotten and so you shrug, “I guess I did.” 

“I guess you did,” he echoes. A little more serious then, “What do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” you reply, because honestly you didn’t think this far ahead, “maybe grab a bite to eat somewhere?”

He smiles apologetically, “I have somewhere I need to be tonight, but why don’t we do this tomorrow? That way we can both think things over a little and-”

“I’d like that,” you admit easily. 

“You want to come over to my place or should I book a table somewhere?”

Biting your lip you weigh the pros and cons, quickly realizing you much rather have this conversation in the privacy of his home than somewhere in a restaurant and so you nod, “I’ll come over.” You give him your phone number and watch as he saves it in his phone, smiling when he puts you in as ‘Ace’.

He pockets his phone when he’s done, “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah,” you nod. It’s a little awkward then and so you turn around, a quick wave over your shoulder to tell him goodbye.

You hear your name being called from somewhere behind you when you walk from your car to the entrance of the school and can’t help but smile when you see Nicole hurry to catch up with you. You kiss her cheek once she joins you, “Morning.” 

“Hi, gorgeous,” she beams back, “you excited about today or what?”

“Dress rehearsal?” You shrug, “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Uhu,” 

You raise your eyebrows and look at her as you push the double door leading into the building open, unsure if she’s saying what you think she’s saying. You shake your head when she starts laughing, “How do you even know?”

“I didn’t,” she holds up her hands to let you know she’s telling the truth, “but I saw you in the parking lot together after practice yesterday and I just figured, you know, maybe you kept your word about wanting to work things out with him. And then you totally gave it away just now, so-”

“I hate you,” you mutter quietly as you pick up your pace.

“You love me,” she counters, easily catching up with you. “And you’re going to tell me exactly what you’ve got planned for tonight.” 

Like he promised, Coy wants you to run through the entire show at least twice today, choreography, outfits changes and all, and so you take your place, not particularly looking forward to all the dancing. The first half of the show goes as well as it could, although Johnny keeps forgetting his lines, and Jessica takes too long whenever she has to do an outfit change, and ok, fine, you mess up the choreography more than you care to admit too. 

When you finally get to the part right before intermission, where you and Chris have to make out for at least two minutes, Nicole is quick to inform Coy that you never rehearsed that scene when you first performed the show, and wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t do it this time around either? Coy seems interested as to why and so Nicole gives him an abridged version, and to your surprise he quickly agrees to skip the scene until the show tomorrow, because, as he reasons, it will add some drama. 

A quick glance at Chris earns you a wink from him and you know he’s probably just as relieved as you are. 

You find Nicole in the dressing room not much later, where she’s getting fitted for her Frenchy wig and when you walk up to her all you say is, “Thank you.”

She nods in response, “Of course.”

At the end of the day you’ve run through the show almost three times and Coy seems somewhat confident that you’ll manage to pull it off tomorrow. He has some kind words for everyone and tells you all to get a good night’s sleep and to meet back again here tomorrow afternoon at five, for a last dinner together. 

Chris texts you his address after practice and tells you he’ll have dinner ready around seven, with a smiley face at the end that lets you know he’s just as nervous about this as you are. It’s funny how easily you can still read him after all these years, you think, as you connect your phone to its charger before you hop in the shower. 

Your outfit of choice is simple and not too dressed up, but still nice enough for whatever this is. Definitely not a date, you think, but then again, maybe it is. You grab your phone and purse before you head out, nerves suddenly taking over and for a moment you wonder if you should just cancel. You’re going back to Philadelphia on Sunday anyway, so maybe it’s better to just leave things the way they are, you reason. You give yourself a very stern talking to then, because you can’t keep running away from this. You’ve been doing that for the past eighteen years and look where that’s gotten you. No, time to get some closure, you decide as you close your hotel room door behind you and head downstairs to your car.

You pull up to a heavy iron gate about fifteen minutes later, only the roof of his house visible from the road. Pushing the call button you tap your steering wheel to the beat of the song that’s playing on the radio until he answers with a kind, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you reply with a smile and watch as the gate opens in front of you. After about half a mile the house comes into full view and you let out a quiet, “Wow,” because it really is a beautiful farmhouse. You park your car next to his not much later and just as you step outside his front door opens and a dog comes running towards you. 

“Dodger, sit,” Chris says from where he’s standing on the front porch and the dog does as it's told.

“Hi cutie,” you say as you walk up to the dog and scratch behind its ears, “hi.” It gives you a moment to take a deep breath, because you’re so nervous it feels like there are hundreds of butterflies fluttering around in your stomach right now. 

Dodger runs back to Chris then and so you follow him, meeting Chris on the steps, where he holds out his arm and pulls you in for a side hug, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

“Chris,” you protest quietly, although you don’t really want him to let go either. 

“I know,” he whispers, “I know. I’m just glad you’re here.” He lets go then and motions for you to follow him inside. He leads you through the house to the kitchen, where the opened French doors reveal a large deck where a table has been set for two. 

“Come on,” he says and walks outside where he pulls out a chair for you, “sit down. I’ll be right back.” 

You watch him walk back into the kitchen, curious to find out what he’s up to but then Dodger sits down next to you and gently puts his paw on your knee to let you know he’d like some more scratches, thank you very much and so you don’t really see Chris come back with two glasses of champagne until he puts one down in front of you. 

He sits down on the opposite side of the table before he raises his glass and smiles, “It’s good to have you back.” 

“Yeah,” you reply, before you clink your glass against his and take a sip. 

Dinner’s a little awkward, both of you not quite ready to stray away from the small talk and so you mostly just tell him what you’ve been up to these past eighteen years, albeit it a slightly abridged version. No need to tell him about how you’ve never really seemed to have been able to find your place in the world and still feel like an outsider everywhere you go just yet. 

He tells you about his career, how much everything has changed once he agreed to play Captain America, and how he secretly would like to do more behind the camera from now on. Maybe step away from the spotlight a little because he still gets these bouts of anxiety and your heart goes out to him because you remember how much he struggled in high school. 

To lighten the mood you tease him about doing this show because it seems so small in comparison to what he’s been doing, but he assures you he never even had to think about it when they asked him to take part. 

“I’m guessing you were a little more hesitant?” 

You nod, “I was.” 

He doesn’t push it any further and you’re grateful for that. 

You offer to help him clear the plates after he suggests to maybe move things inside because it’s getting colder. It takes two trips to the kitchen to clear the table and once again you compliment him on the amazing pasta dish he tells you he made from scratch. You believe him, only because you know his mother taught him well and you fondly remember her cooking. 

He tells you to make yourself at home while he clears away the last things and so you find yourself in his living room, smiling when you see the wall filled with family pictures. Most of them are recent, but there’s one of him and his brother Scott that you know for a fact was taken at his parents’ house right before Chris’ Senior prom. You know this because you were the one that took it. And because you were his date.

“That was a good night,” 

You look over your shoulder to see him walk towards you, holding a glass of whiskey in each hand, and can’t help but smile, “It was.” 

He hands you one of the glasses and touches it with his then, “To all the good memories.”

“Chris-” 

“I know,” he says, “but it wasn’t all bad, Ace.” 

“No, it wasn’t,” you agree easily. “It was good, Chris, right up until the very end.” 

“Yeah, about that-” He clears his throat before he speaks again, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry. For everything.” 

You want to tell him that it’s ok, that it was no big deal, that maybe you overreacted at the time, but you guess you both know that’s not true and so you just say, “Thank you.” 

He nods.

You take a sip of your drink then, relishing in the way it burns your throat, as a welcome distraction to the tears that have started to form in your eyes. You let your gaze drift back to the same picture when you say, “I wish you would have just told me.”

He lowers his head, “I know.”

“That’s what hurt me the most,” you swallow back a fresh set of tears. “Because it wasn’t so much that you couldn’t make it to my Senior prom, I mean, I understood working on your first movie was more important at the time but- To find out you were at some random B-list celebrity’s party- And not because you told me, but because someone shoved a magazine with your picture in it under my nose-” you shake your head trying to rid yourself of the memories, but failing -”draped over some girl.” You lift your glass and put it to your lips, fully intending to finish whatever’s left in one go. 

He starts to say something but you hold up one finger to let him know you’re not done yet. A tear rolls down your cheek and you’re not sure if it’s because of the whiskey or because of everything else, but it doesn’t really matter anyway. There’s something you have to admit, “Maybe I should have reacted differently, or at least given you a chance to explain, but I-” a sob escapes you then, “I was so angry. So hurt. For me breaking up right then and there was the only thing that made sense.” Another tear spills over but you don’t even try to wipe it away, knowing more will follow soon. Instead you let out a humourless laugh, “But then suddenly every single thing in Sudbury reminded me of you and every memory was like a knife to the heart, and so I had to- I just had to leave.” 

He nods and from the corner of your eye you see him run a hand through his hair. 

“Turns out it hurt all the same no matter where I was,” you continue softly, “but it took me years to figure that out.” You clear your throat, trying to find the right words. Yes, it still hurts, but maybe it’s time to let the past be the past. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry too, Chris. I should have-”

“Don’t,” he says, his voice kind. “There are a lot of things we both could have done differently, but we were still so young and, I don’t know, I think we both did what we thought was best. We can’t change what happened,” he turns towards you, “and I don’t want to make excuses for what I did, because,” he clears his throat, “it would be far too little, far too late.” He lowers his eyes, “All I know is that it’s been eighteen years and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you.”

“Chris-”

He looks back up at you and smiles, “It’s my turn now, Ace.” A hand on your arm then, his touch soft and a gentle squeeze to let you know what he’s going to say next is important, “I know there’s still a lot left unsaid, but we’ll get there, eventually. And this might sound crazy, and I’m not saying we should forget what happened but, I don’t know, maybe we could try to start over and just see where it leads us. What do we have to lose?” 

You let the weight of his words sink in, wondering if you are able to just forgive and forget this easily. It’s then you remember admitting to Nicole that you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Chris and the possibility to get some closure and so you agree with a quiet, “I’d like that.” 

He seems a little unsure of himself then, so you put down your glass and take his hands in yours, draping them over your shoulders before you wrap your arms around his waist. He holds you tight, presses a soft kiss to your temple that feels maybe like the most intimate thing he’s ever done, and quietly whispers, “I’ve missed you, Ace.”

He offers you his guest bedroom after another round of whiskey and some smalltalk, because somehow you’re both still hesitant to open up completely. It’s ok, you tell yourself, you’ll get there eventually and there’s no need to rush. You find yourself in the ensuite bathroom not much later, putting on one of his Patriots shirts to act as your pyjamas for the night. It’s all a bit surreal and you’re grateful you’re on the opposite side of the house, because it would be too weird otherwise, even though you know that doesn’t really make sense either. 

Sleep comes surprisingly easy once you’re under the covers and so the next thing you know there’s a knock on your door and for a moment you’re confused because this isn’t your hotel room. You hear his familiar chuckle on the other side then before he lets you know breakfast is ready if you’re up for it and it’s then you remember where you are. 

You take a quick shower before you make your way to the kitchen where you find him leaning against the counter top, enjoying a cup of coffee, Dodger at his feet. He pushes a full cup towards you and smiles at you from over his, “Morning.”

“Morning,” 

“Sleep well?”

“I did, yeah,” you admit, even though it still surprises you. You pick up the steaming hot cup and wrap your hands around it, the smell of freshly brewed coffee waking you up even more.

He motions to the kitchen island where there’s a plate of pastries, “I got you some Danish,” he almost looks embarrassed then, running a hand through his hair, “you used to like those, right?”

“I did.” You’re quick to correct yourself, “I do. Thank you.” 

“You got any plans for today?” 

You shrug, “Not really, maybe drive around a bit to do some sightseeing, you know, see how much has changed over the years.” You grab a pastry then and immediately Dodger’s attention shifts from Chris to you. 

“No,” Chris warns him and Dodger’s quick to lie down again. “Good boy.” He looks back at you, “Until when are you here?”

You’ve just taken a bite and so it takes a while before you answer, “I’m flying back on Sunday.”

“To?”

“To Philadelphia.”

He nods appreciatively, “That’s not too far.”

You spend a few hours driving around the area, thankful that he didn’t ask if he could come. You guess you both needed some time alone. 

The trip down memory lane is nice, but after a few stops you don’t really know where else to go and so you drive back to your hotel, where you have a few hours left until you need to get ready. You kick off your shoes once you’re inside your room and sit down on the tiny balcony before you fish your phone out of your back pocket and call Nicole, who picks up on the first ring. 

“Tell me everything!” 

“Hi Nicole, how are you,” you mock, but can’t help but laugh. “Lovely weather today, isn’t it? Are you excited for tonight?”

“I hate you,” 

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” she agrees, “but you better start talking, babe, or else.”

And so you do. You tell her about dinner, about the talk you and Chris had after, about how you spent the night, laughing when you hear her curse quietly after you’ve told her nothing happened, and how you and Chris agreed to start over. 

“Oh honey,” is all she says, but you know exactly what she means.

[insanityclause]

Coriolanus is a play that’s more respected than revered. Why does it have a rather difficult reputation? Coriolanus is relentless, brutal, savage and serious, but that’s why I find it interesting. Shakespeare sets the play in ancient Rome: a far older place than the Rome more familiar to us – of Julius Caesar or Antony and Cleopatra or the later Empire. This Rome is wild. A city-state wrestling with its identity. An early Rome of famine, war and tyranny.

In the central character, Caius Martius Coriolanus, Shakespeare shows how the power of unchecked rage corrodes, dehumanises and ultimately destroys its subject. I’ve read that some find Martius a hard character to like, or to relate to – less effective at evoking an audience’s sympathy than Hamlet, Romeo, Juliet, Rosalind, Othello or Lear. Yet there is a perverse integrity and purity to be found in his obstinacy and honour, which sits alongside his arrogance and contempt.

The play’s poetry is raw and visceral, quite different from the elegance, beauty, clarity and charm found elsewhere in Shakespeare’s work. The warmth and delight to be found in his comedies are absent here. But the unstinting seriousness and intensity of the play is what makes it fascinating.

How well did you know the play? I didn’t know it well. I had seen an early screening of Ralph Fiennes’s terrific film adaptation at the Toronto film festival in September of 2011. I was fascinated by the visceral intensity of the play: the power, hubris, and force of the title character; its lasting political resonance; and the immediacy and profundity of the familial relationships, particularly between mother and son – Volumnia and Martius – which struck me as perhaps the most intense and psychologically complex presentation of that bond I had come across in Shakespeare.

What drew you to Coriolanus as a character? I was fascinated by the evolution of Martius/Coriolanus as a character through the play. His arc is purely tragic. He begins the play as Rome’s most courageous warrior, is quickly celebrated as its most fearsome defender, then garlanded by the Senate and selected for the highest political office.

His clarity of focus, fearlessness and ferocity of spirit, all qualities that make him a great soldier, undo him as a politician. His honesty and pride forbid him from disguising his contempt for the people of Rome, whom he deems weak, cowardly and fickle in their loyalties and affections. He cannot lie. “His heart’s his mouth / What his breast forges that his tongue must vent.” He becomes a tyrant, branded a traitor, an enemy of the people: an uncontained vessel of blistering rage. He is banished, changed “from man to dragon”. Joining forces with his sworn enemy, Aufidius, he plots revenge against Rome: “There is no more mercy in him than there is milk in a male tiger.” And then finally, at the very end, as he watches his own mother, wife and son kneel at his feet and beg for his mercy, he reveals – beneath the hardened exterior of contempt – a tenderness and vulnerability not seen before.

That shift, from splenetic warrior to merciless “dragon” to “boy of tears”, fascinated me – and the fact that his intransigence, valour and vulnerability all seem to be located in, and released by, his complex attachment to his mother.

How does this play about politics and people resonate in today’s society? The play raises the question as to how much power should reside in the hands of any individual: a question that will never go out of date. “What is the city but the people?” cries the people’s tribune, Sicinius (in our production, brilliantly played by Helen Schlesinger). The people must have their voices. And, beneath that, I think the play also raises another complex question as to what degree any individual can withstand the intensity of idealisation and demonisation that comes with the mantle of unmoderated leadership or extraordinary responsibility.

It’s a physical role – how did you prepare for it with fight director Richard Ryan? Josie Rourke and I knew it was important to the clarity of the play that Martius be credibly presented as a physical presence. As a warrior, we are told, he “struck Corioles like a planet”. Big boots to fill. Hadley Fraser, who plays Aufidius, and I began working with Richard Ryan three months before we started full rehearsals on the text of the play. The fight between Martius and Aufidius is a huge opportunity to explore their mutual obsession (“He is a lion that I am proud to hunt”).

We also hoped there would be something thrilling about presenting it at such close quarters in the confined space of the Donmar. We wanted to create a moment of combat that was visceral, brutal and relentless. We knew it would require skill, safety and endless practice. The fight choreography became something we drilled, every day. Hadley was amazing. So committed, so disciplined. It created a real bond of trust between us.

You previously starred in Othello at the Donmar. What’s special about that space? The Donmar is one of the most intimate spaces in London. I must have seen at least a hundred productions there over the last 20 years, and as an audience member it always feels like a thrill and a privilege to feel so close to the action. There’s a forensic clarity to the space: the audience are so close that they see every movement, every look. For actors, there’s nowhere to hide. That’s exciting.

It’s what makes the Donmar special: the closeness, the proximity. Hard to imagine in the wake of Covid-19. Theatres everywhere need all the support they can get. But that’s what’s encouraging about National Theatre at Home. It’s keeping theatre going, but it’s also a reminder that the sector will need real support to stay alive: from the government and from us, the people who love and cherish it.

There is a rather bloody shower scene – what are your memories of that moment? I remember that the water was extremely cold. But I was always grateful, because the preceding 20 minutes – scurrying up ladders, down fire escapes, into quick changes and sword fights – had been so physically intense that the cold water felt like a great relief. Martius says to Cominius just moments beforehand: “I will go wash / And when my face is fair you shall perceive / Whether I blush or no.” So I washed.

The scene did have a thematic significance. So much of the play, and the poetry of the play, is loaded with references and characters who are obsessed by the body of Martius as an object: how much blood he has shed for his city; how many scars he bears as emblems of his service. His mother, Volumnia (​in our production played with such power and clarity by Deborah Findlay), says in a preceding scene that blood “more becomes a man than gilt his trophy”. Later, during the process of his election to the consulship, to the highest office, Martius is obliged by tradition to go out into the marketplace and display his wounds, in a bid to court public approval; to win the people’s voices. Martius refuses, in contempt for both practice and people.

In the shower scene, Josie wanted the audience to be able to see the wounds that he refuses to show the people later on, but we also wanted to suggest the reality of what those scars have cost him privately. We wanted to show him wincing, in deep pain: that these wounds and scars are not some highly prized commodity, but that beneath the exterior of the warrior-machine, idealised far beyond his sense of his own worth, is a human being who bleeds.

It’s an intense performance, in a three-hour play. How did you unwind after the show? My first thought is that I was always unbelievably hungry. Thankfully, Covent Garden is not short of places to buy a hamburger. I will always be grateful to all of them.

How did you modify your performance for the NT Live filming? The whole production for NT Live was very much the same as it was every night during our 12-week run. Naturally, as a company, we couldn’t help but be aware of cameras on all sides, especially in a space like the Donmar. We were all so grateful that the National Theatre Live team had come over the river to the Donmar. I always hoped the broadcast would capture the headlong intensity of the whole thing. The play opens with a riot, and does not stop.

What have you been watching during lockdown? I was gripped, moved and inspired by The Last Dance, the documentary series about Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls in the mid-90s (Steve Kerr!). Normal People for its two extraordinary central performances from Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones. I’ve rewatched old tennis matches, which somehow I have found very comforting: in particular, the 2014 Djokovic/Federer Wimbledon final. And – because we all need cheering up – Dirty Dancing.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: Second to last part! It’s almost the end of the rewrite of the Heathers episode, and I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far! :D 

Act one - Act two - Act three - Act four - Act Five 

Words: 3076

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader 

Warnings: angst, cursing, sexual harassment

Act Five: Meant To Be Yours

Ever since we rehearsed Dead Girl Walking for the first time yesterday, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling I had when I was straddling Sweet Pea’s lap. Why – oh why – must he be so attractive and so good at singing? Never have I felt anything like this for a co-star in a play or musical. I hate feeling this weak and vulnerable for a boy. Thought I’d learned my lesson after Reggie, but I guess I didn’t.  “Earth to Y/N,” Ella’s voice makes me snap out of my thoughts.  “Hm, what?” I ask, my eyes darting from Ella to Margot and back. Both of them have knowing smirks on their faces. The three of us are sat at the cafeteria, eating our lunches. Only a few more hours until the very last rehearsal before we go through everything from beginning to end for the next rehearsals.  “You’re so crazy about him,” Margot retorts and takes a bite from her sandwich.  “I am not,” I shoot back, furrowing my eyebrows.  “Hm, Ella, don’t you think it’s weird I didn’t have to say a name, and still, Y/N knew who I was talking about?” Margot is a great actress, but her sarcasm always seeps through in situations like this.  “Yeah, that is weird. How could that be, Margot?” Ella taps her chin twice with her index finger and looks like she’s in deep thought with her brows furrowed and lips pursed.  “I don’t know, Ella. Maybe because she’s so damn madly in love with the guy playing Jason Dean.” Margot and Ella both burst out laughing, and I can’t help but smile too.  “Imagine having your own Jason Dean without the psychopathic part, and not doing anything about it,” Ella scoffs, shaking her head at me while picking at her salad. “I mean, honestly, Y/N, what’s holding you back?” I drop my sandwich on my tray and heave a deep sigh. “Is it the Serpent-thing? I thought you didn’t care about all that shit?” Margot adds, wanting to know too, why I didn’t take my chance and ask him out.  “No…” I sigh again, “It’s… I… I don’t know, guys. I just think I’m scared. I mean, what if he doesn’t feel the same? He’s pretty much still in love with Josie McCoy even though she broke his heart in a thousand pieces. What’s Reggie going to do? Is it going to change the entire musical? Is it going to steer me away from my path straight to NYU?” I ramble all of the thoughts I’d been overthinking on my own the entire night last night.  “Wow, girl, okay…” Margot seems a little taken aback by all the thoughts slipping out of my mouth. “Let’s break this down,” she says and glances to Ella for a second as if to check who’ll start. Ella does.  “The only way to know if he feels the same, is to ask him.” She shrugs as if it’s that simple.  “Are you sure he’s still in love with Josie? I mean, what you guys did in rehearsals during Dead Girl Walking, that was improv, which might mean he wanted to rip your shirt off the entire time,” Margot continues by tackling my second thought.  “Who cares what Reggie’s going to do? He’s a dick, Y/N. Screw him,” Ella says, and Margot nods.  “If you’re scared it’s going to change the musical, then wait until the musical’s over. The show’s next weekend if you can wait that long. But if it’s going to change the musical, he isn’t that great an actor, sweetie.” Margot presses her lips together in a painful grimace.  “You still have this year and senior year to spend with him and if he loves you, he’ll understand you’ll have to work on musical theater to get into the college of your dreams. He’ll support you, run lines with you, sing songs with you. If the both of you want it enough, you’ll make it work.”  I sigh again. They’re not wrong, but I’m not convinced yet. “Yeah, but what if he doesn’t want me like that?” My friends at the other side of the table groan simultaneously.  “We’re not going to start this again, Y/N,” Margot says.  “Just ask him,” Ella adds, exaggerating the articulation of the words. I open my mouth to say something else, but the bell ringing to signal the end of lunch interrupts me. “Let’s go, I’ve got biology and professor Phylum doesn’t like tardiness.” Margot and I nod, and the three of us leave the cafeteria together. On our way to our lockers, we bump into a bunch of jocks. Not Reggie nor Archie. But Ryan, Jake and Mason. All three with gross smirks on their faces.  “Hey, Y/N,” Ryan greets in a deep voice.  “Sorry, boys, we got to get to class,” I say, and we try to walk past them, but they block us from doing so. “Can you let us through, please?” I try to keep my voice steady, even though I’m starting to get scared. These three don’t have the cleanest record when it comes to interactions with women.  “Ah, you can’t just leave,” Mason’s mouth curls up into a grin.  “Not when you’re dressed like that,” Jake then goes. I look down to the Veronica skirt I’m wearing. Kevin told us to always wear something our characters would wear to really get into the mind of the person we’re supposed to play.  “Dressed like what? This is what I always wear?” I glance at my friends, who are clearly as confused as I am. The three boys give each other a glance too before Mason goes on.  “Yeah! And it’s torture!” Ryan almost yells in frustration.  “How can you expect us to control ourselves when you look like that?” says Jake. This is going to be one of those conversations, isn’t it?  “Back off, assholes,” Cheryl’s voice sounds from behind me. When I turn my head, I find Sweet Pea, Fangs, Toni and Cheryl standing behind me with their arms crossed. My eyes linger a little longer on the tall Serpent right behind me. He has an intimidating scowl on his face.  “Oh, look the criminals are backing up the theater nerds now that they’re singing and dancing together like little fags.” Mason says with a chuckle and hitting his best bud, Jake, on his chest. Jake and Ryan both cackle obnoxiously.  “What’s going on here, Bulldogs?” Reggie’s voice chimes in. For some reason, it only makes me tense up more. He goes to stand next to Ryan, looking at me first, then glancing at the Bulldogs. “Are they harassing you, Y/N?” I want to open my mouth to tell him it’s not that bad to avoid any fighting when Betty and Veronica chime in too.  “Get over yourself, assholes, she’s not that into you,” Veronica tells them, her eyebrows furrowed.  “Oh, come on, Reg!” Mason starts, “You’ve noticed she’s gotten hotter every damn day! She may not have been good enough for you back then, but right now, she’s good enough to get with me!” I raise my eyebrow at him. I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. Not when he’s talking shit like that.  “Now I’m good enough?” I ask, stepping forward. Reggie steps back to allow me more space. “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t care if I’m ‘good enough’ for a gross, misogynistic prick like you? I’m intelligent enough to know my worth doesn’t depend on a jock’s boner. You, however, are worth nothing. So, get your tiny dick out of here before I cut it off.” I’ve gotten closer with every word I’ve said to the point where I’m mere inches away from him.  “You heard her, ass,” Archie then says, who’d joined too.  “Get out of here!” Sweet Pea adds with his intimidating, low voice that sends shivers down my spine.  “See you in hell, assholes!” Betty, Margot and I yell after them as they scurry away.  “Thanks for backing me up, guys,” I say, glancing up to every single one of my co-stars. My eyes linger on Sweet Pea again, and he’s looking at me too. His scowl is replaced with a small smile and sparkles in his eyes, lighting up his eyes more.  “That’s all good, Y/N,” Reggie says, and wraps an arm around me. I stiffen at the all-too-familiar feeling. “We’re all theater nerds now!” I wriggle myself loose from his grip with a chuckle.  “Mess with Veronica, mess with the Heathers!” Cheryl chimes in. Her red lips are turned up into a wide, bright smile that takes away the nerves I just felt when Reggie placed his arm around me.  “Let’s get to class now,” Margot then suggests, and we all nod in agreement.  “Y/N,” Sweet Pea starts and holds me back by my arm while the others get to class. “Can we please rehearse some lines tonight after rehearsal?” The words feel like a punch in the stomach. I can’t be trusted alone with him. I’ll just forget about all of my worries and kiss him and then overthink it once again when it’s happened. I need to step back and pretend I’m not as in love with him as I am right now. For my own good. For my future. To save the musical.

“Let’s do Yo Girl and Meant to Be Yours back to back again. Make sure to go all-in today, kids!” Evelyn tells us with a grin on her face. Everyone that needs to be on stage goes to get ready. Cheryl, Archie and Reggie go to stand on the raised bit of the stage. They’re dead by now, so it’s their ghosts that are still haunting Veronica. Betty, Veronica and I stand on the lower bit to do our small conversation. “Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note,” Betty says with a chuckle. “Oh my God, is she dead?” I ask, eyes wide, pretending to be shocked by this news. Betty then replies, “Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.” She rolls her eyes and walks off stage with Veronica in tow. “Yo girl, keep it together I knew you would come far Now you're truly a Heather Smell how gangsta you are,” Cheryl, Reggie and Archie sing together from ‘heaven’. “Martha, I’m so sorry,” I say, Veronica Sawyer’s barely holding it together. “Yo girl, feel a bit punchy? She's not looking so well Still, you've earned that red scrunchie Come join Heather in hell,” the dead characters sing again, and on walk our coach and the drama teacher who are playing my parents. “Where’ve you been?” Coach McLaren asks with furrowed eyebrows. He’s not the greatest actor. But it’ll do for a few lines. “We've been worried sick! Your friend JD stopped by. He told us everything,” miss Jacobs says her line. “Everything?” I ask. Miss Jacobs gives me a worried smile. “Your depression, your thoughts of suicide…” Coach McLaren goes. Miss Jacobs shows me a Moby Dick copy. “He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!” “He’s got your handwriting down cold,” Cheryl chimes in sassily. “Please, honey, talk to us!” miss Jacobs pleads. At least her good acting balances out coach’s bad acting. I shake my head viciously. “No, you wouldn’t understand!” “Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through!” miss Jacobs’ voice grows, and I back up. “Guess who's right down the block?” the dead kids sing behind us. “Your problems seem like life and death—” ‘mom’ chimes in. Then Cheryl, Reggie and Archie take their turn again, “Guess who’s climbing the stairs?” “I promise they’re not!” miss Jacobs says. “Guess who’s picking your lock?” “You don’t know what my world looks like!” I yell at my mother and run off stage. “Time’s up! Go say your prayers!” Mom and dad now walk off stage, and I go back on. The dead kids walk down the stairs on one side while I run up the ones on the other side. “Veronica's running on, running on fumes now Veronica's totally fried Veronica's gotta be trippin' on 'schrooms now, Thinking that she can hide Veronica's done for, there's no doubt now, Notify next of kin! Veronica's trying to keep him out now Too late! He got in!” Sweet Pea walks onto stage as if he’d just broken into my ‘bedroom”, and I’m hiding in the closet from him. “Knock! Knock! Sorry to come through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know!” Sweet Pea’s voice makes my knees buckle. He sounds so angry, yet I know he isn’t. He looked happy just seconds ago. “Get out of my house!” I yell at him through the pretend door. “All is forgiven, baby! Come on and get dressed! You’re my date to the pep rally tonight!” I perk up at that with furrowed eyebrows in confusion. “What?! Why?!” “You chucked me out like I was trash, For that you should be dead— But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash, What if high school went away instead' Those assholes are the key! They're keeping you away from me! They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free!” When we were exploring the songs still, Ella, Margot and I were always dancing to this song. But now, I can’t seem to move a muscle. I’m not allowed to, but even if I was, I’m too enthralled by his voice and how perfect it sounds for the song. “You left me and I fell apart, I punched the wall and cried— Bam! Bam! Bam!” I jump a little when his voice grows louder. “Then I found you changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside! And so I built a bomb Tonight our school is Vietnam! Let's guarantee they'll never see their senior prom!” The music slows down a little and his voice does too, getting a bit vulnerable. “I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! Don't give up on me now! Finish what we've begun! I was meant to be yours!” Then the music grows louder and harder, and his voice becomes angrier and more psychopathic than before. How do I only find out now how talented this boy is? “So when the high school gym goes boom with everyone inside— Pchw! Pchw! Pchw! In the rubble of their tomb We'll plant this note explaining why they died!” The other students walk up the stage too, surrounding JD in a half circle. “We, the students of Westerburg High Will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through To you. Your society churns out slaves and blanks No thanks. Signed the Students of Westerburg High 'Goodbye.'” The students stay where they are, but Sweet Pea now sings on his own. “We'll watch the smoke poor out the doors. Bring marshmallows, We'll make s'mores! We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!” Then, everyone sings back up vocals for Sweet Pea during the chorus, making it sound even more magical. However, I can only focus on Sweet Pea’s gorgeous voice. It’s making me fall more and more in love with the boy. Damn it. “I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! I can't make this alone! Finish what we've begun! You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need! You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed!” I begin to prepare my fake suicide by hanging up a fake noose and wrapping it around my neck. “Veronica, open the—open the door, please' Veronica, open the door. Veronica, can we not fight anymore' Please, can we not fight anymore' Veronica, sure, you're scared, I've been there. I can set you free! Veronica, don't make me come in there! I'm gonna count to three! “One! Two! Fuck it!” He opens the ‘door’ and finds his Veronica dead. The boy, overcome with emotions, kneels down next to me and begins crying. “Oh my God! 'No! 'Veronica'!” His voice sounds softer, but still equally as powerful. And it still sends chills down my spine. “Please don't leave me alone' You were all I could trust' I can't do this alone'” The others back him up again for the very last line, and goosebumps form on my arms. “Still I will if I must!” “Veronica?!” mom shouts as she walks up the stairs. Sweet Pea looks up in a panic and runs off stage.  “I made you a snack! Veronica?!” Miss Jacobs walks up the stairs with a tray in her hands when she finds her daughter hung from the ceiling. A loud, shrill shriek comes from her body, making me snap my head up. “No, no, no!” I yell and run up to her. “No, it was a joke! No, mom, please! Look at me! I’m okay!” I grab her cheeks and makes her look at me. I wipe away her tears. “I’m fine. I’m fine!” “That’s not funny!” she yells back at me, sobbing violently.   “And scene!” Kevin yells, and miss Jacobs and I get up. “You’re doing a great job, Y/N,” she tells me with a smile. Miss Jacobs has always been kind of my second mom. She’s my theater mom. She’s supporting me in my dreams to become a professional musical theater actress. The woman believes in me more than my own mother. “Thanks, mom,” I say with a wink and approach my friends on the side of the stage. “I have a problem,” I say in a panicked, but hushed voice. “What is it?” Margot asks, placing her round sunglasses on the top of her head. “I’m terribly and embarrassingly in love with Jason Dean,” I hope they get the code name for Sweet Pea as I don’t want to anyone to hear me say his actual name. The girls’ smiles widen. “Thank heaven’s she admits it!” they both exclaim loudly. I shush them immediately, frantically looking around if anyone’s heard them. Everyone else seems preoccupied with other things, and I sigh in relief. “I don’t know what to do though?” I whisper with a pained expression. “Help? Please?” “Let stoner chick and preppy kid take care of it!” Ella reassures me. Or at least tries to. I’m not sure if I am reassured. 

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E45 (Dec. 18, 2018)

Evening, all! @eponymous-rose​ is off tonight with such silly things like family and events and real life obligations, so I’m here to make bad jokes and have opinions instead.

For those who hadn’t heard, Brian & Ashley are engaged as of this week! Brian is taking both her last and first name to be ultra-progressive. Tonight’s guests: Sam Riegel & Matt Mercer. Matt is here willingly. Sam is not. We’re discussing Episode 45: The Stowaway, sponsored by LootCrate. Brian asks Sam for an impromptu song ad; he rhymes moot and loot and jigs and everyone is a little closer to death than they were a few moments prior.

Tonight’s announcements: Pub Draw & Name Drop are two new shows on the Critical Role channel--check out critrole.com for more details.

This Thursday’s episode is the last of 2018; Critical Role then returns on January 10.

Liam’s oneshot, The Night Before Critmas, airs at 7pm Pacific this Friday night. He’s been planning it for two years, and the VOD will be available December 23.

Talks Machina is also breaking for the holidays and will return on January 8, where they’ll have a cast-wide discussion on the state of the campaign so far. The questions open on Reddit, Twitter, and email on January 4th.

CR Stats: Nott has the most kills of the group with 37. The 45th HDYWTDT occurred in episode 45 as well. Twiggy’s dragon kill was the fifth guest kill of the campaign, and the 2nd guest HDYWTDT. In campaign one, guests got 22 kills and four HDYWTDTs. This was the longest episode of campaign two and the fourth longest of the series.

Matt and Deborah had met extensively to discuss backstory and mechanics, but hadn’t discussed much personality. The only person who wanted to check voice/accent was Khary (with Shakaste).

Deborah was one of the first guests they reached out to when they started streaming all that time ago, but she initially said no because D&D was such a personal thing for her and she didn’t want to share it with the internet. Everyone agrees she was worth the wait.

Everyone’s furious about Daredevil’s cancellation. :(

Sam thought it was fun to play alongside another Arcane Trickster because... “she was very good at it, all that great stuff that I forget to do.” Nott was jealous that many of the things that made her unique were present in Twiggy. However, the jealousy was later reversed because of how excellent Twiggy was in the fight.

The Happy Fun Ball was a narrative device Matt had been planning for a long time--he liked the idea of a pocket dungeon with lore attached. When they realized Deborah’s schedule would put her on a boat in the middle of nowhere, he found a perfect opportunity to bring it in.

Sam asks if Matt intended the device to be a one-use single episode thing, or something recurring, something for the party to further explore at their will. Matt explains very circuitously (and hilariously) that certain DMs may have in the planning of the introduction of the Happy Fun Ball originally intended for such Happy Fun Balls to leave with the guest, and were very surprised when said Happy Fun Ball (and all its hundreds of extraplanar rooms to explore) was left behind with the party instead. He then basically dares Sam to press a button and see what happens.

Nott doesn’t resent Fjord for touching the window or setting a time limit on the library exploration. While it was cool in the library, there were too many things attacking them.

Matt doesn’t necessarily intend his traps for Travis, but he likes having good buttons and bad buttons. “I just want shit to happen. Surprise me!” He admires the player that occasionally gets bold, rather than the one who always sends their minions out to touch all the tiles and trigger all the traps before they ever set foot in the dungeon. He also enjoys the meticulousness of Liam being at the same table as Travis’s impulsiveness.

Sam does not want the fans to send him larger flasks. His current flask holds 128 oz, which is exactly a gallon.

GIF of the Week: @criticalschluck with a hilarious movie-trailer-style GIF of Travis explaining he’s got an intelligence of 6 (Grog), then an intelligence of 14 (Fjord), then pushing buttons and experiencing... consequences.

Nott approves of Caleb’s choice to abandon the books to go back to the party. While she wants as much knowledge in his head as possible, it’s because “a smarter Caleb is a more powerful Caleb, and hopefully a Caleb that can stay alive a little longer.” Matt likes watching characters be put in situations where they have to choose between long-reaching character goals and the people they have chosen as their family. He was fascinated to see the struggle as he was ticking down the time on his sheet. He’s very excited to see what’s going to happen this Thursday.

Brian and Matt both fanboy over Sam’s 1hp decision.

Sam reflects on Jester’s being left behind--”not in a malicious way, you know, but sometimes in a big family someone gets left behind at a mall!”

Matt circuitously explains that the stained-glass window could be used to access other places. This man’s being slipperier than soap suds on wet tile tonight.

Nott was aware that the hit she took for Jester could have been a killing blow, but she was ready--”it was what goes through her head around Caleb a lot: ‘I’ve got to protect my friends.’” She’s very protective and very maternal, and Sam would have been okay if that had been the last of Nott.

Both Sam and Liam (and others) have begun to experience the in- and out-of-game changes that come with finally beginning to really know these characters. They certainly wouldn’t have died for each other at the beginning of the game, even knowing how hard their friends worked on these characters. It was originally a “system shock” (as Matt puts it) which required check-ins after certain blow-ups at the beginning of the campaign to make sure they (the players) were all okay. Now, though, they’re closer and closer to being willing to die for each other for both in-game and meta reasons.

Sam reflects on how both Caleb and Nott hate themselves, but manifest that very differently in how they treat other people. Caleb withdraws and puts up thick walls; Nott is quick to trust and care about everyone.

Nott is least close to Yasha at the moment. She’s still a li’l scared of her.

Matt had a few battle options planned out regarding which parts of which chamber were futzed with. The black tapestry was the one curtain they didn’t mess with that would have led to a “very rough encounter.” Matt had six maps built off-stage, just in case.

Sam’s backup character is a handsome actor named Sam Seagull.

Brian is annoyed that every encounter starts with the chat screaming “TPK.” Matt: “I hope not. That’d be my fault if that happened.”

While the dragon was very powerful, Matt had expectations that the party would understand very quickly that the fight didn’t necessarily have to end with the dragon’s death--he wanted them to understand the challenge was the exit, not the dragon. However, they came in in a different order than he’d anticipated, including party staggering, and that was when he started to get nervous.

Whatever magic had first triggered the first crystal would have been the same magic required to open the second door. It was proximity-based.

Fanart of the Week: @tehsasquatch, with this super-cool portrait of Nott.

On whether Nott feels as if she’s earned her comma: sometimes, especially in encounters like these, Nott feels just for a moment that she can be brave, she can be useful, she can be heroic--and then the moment it’s over the world comes crashing back down. When she’s out of those moments, she feels that she’s still just a goblin.

Is Sam ready for Nott to get the spotlight Fjord’s currently in?

Sam: No. Matt: [very intense face]. There’s a lot of backstory elements that he and Matt know that no one else is aware of, and he’s nervous about those coming to light.

The Traveler’s appearance was complete improv. Matt was reading the situation and the emotions and looking for ways to facilitate a heroic story, and when the dice worked in her favor, he felt it would be a wonderful, dramatic story beat to suddenly include--especially since the Traveler hadn’t responded much recently. Matt: “Yeah, that was really cool.”

The Traveler/Jester relationship has evolved in ways Matt both did and did not expect. He wasn’t sure how seriously Jester was going to take it. It’s the difference between believing in something and allowing that thing to define you as a person. He loves it. Sam: “The Traveler...is Taryon, right?”

Nott doesn’t see Caleb as abandoning her at all. “He’s a weak, puny man who needs to get himself out of danger.” It would have actually been harder if Caleb had been there, because if Nott had had to make a choice as to who to protect, Jester would be dead.

After Beau’s emergence from the orb, she probably for a few minutes would have thought that they were all dead behind her. It wasn’t that hours or days had passed--just a few minutes. Matt found Beau’s and Caduceus’s conversation at the end very fascinating and compelling, especially as a way to end the episode.

Nott agrees that Jester is not as happy and fine as she appears to be, especially after their talk about boys, but doesn’t feel it’s as severe as Caleb’s issues. “Jester’s a functional person.” However, Sam’s excited they’re getting past the “flitty person from the first half of the campaign” to the “core of sadness” as the story progresses.

Matt’s sure Yasha was not happy at all that her friends all disappeared without warning. “She spent six days thinking her friends were never going to come back. She doesn’t cry in a corner; she’s familiar with grief and loss. She hardens herself and moves on.” He’s hoping they’ll get to see some of that this week.

Critmas Spotlight: The Blind Weaver, a really, really cool 3D painting by a lady named Elaine Ryan, which has layers upon layers of polyurethane stained to make an amazing effect. See @elaineryanart on twitter and tumblr for more!

Talks Machina: After Dog

They decide where guests sit at the time of the episode. Matt likes to avoid the edges so they don’t feel like the outlier. Sam requests no attractive guests be placed immediately adjacent to him so that it does not detract from his glory. “That’s why I sit next to doggo Laura Bailey.” Brave man. Brave, foolish man.

Sam likes oatmeal raisin cookies. I am DELIGHTED, WHAT AN OLD MAN WHO SHARES MY TASTE. He also likes Werther’s, which is bringing back so many memories of my grandmother’s house. Matt likes ginger snaps, which are my favorite Christmas cookies also. I would kill for ginger snaps right now. Matt and Sam both are excited about pumpkin pie.

Essential D&D gifts, per Matt: dice, PHB, HeroForge custom minis if you really want to get them excited. He finds that getting in there and making a character can really help hook someone on the visual aspect & get invested in their character. Everything else is fluff. Sam suggests a music playlist for the first game; when he ran his first game with his kids, he liked having gridded paper to draw the maps on.

Matt does not feel that the crew of the ship has been mistreated, but they have been “neglected and dragged through places they didn’t expect.” He does think they’ll talk about everything they’ve done to all their friends and family when they get home in a very “you won’t believe this!” kind of way.

Sam always wears the same tie when he’s voice directing and on the first day of a new show. He’s wearing it tonight and can’t discuss the new show.

Favorite holiday movies! Brian: “Love, Actually” and “Die Hard,” as well as “Miracle on 34th Street.” Matt loves “A Christmas Story” (my favorite also, bless this man). Sam likes “Prancer” and “Scrooged,” but realizes mid-sentence that this is Brian’s first Talks as an engaged man.

Brian on proposing: ”It’s...the best.” They’d been together for over six years & met during the first Last of Us game. Brian describes himself as a former “piece of shit” and a very different person back then. Ashley had no expectations that he was going to propose & was totally surprised. Gah, this is too romantic.

Brian: “I always imagined for years what that moment would be like, and this topped all of my expectations... What more can you really hope for in this life than to feel that feeling with another person? It’s to me the pinnacle of our human experiences to be able to say ‘I’ve been through hell and yet found someone that I can definitely say I want to spend all the days of my life on this earth with,’ and the fact that it happened is fucking cool. It’s like heroin with none of the bad side effects.”

It was extremely stressful--but only the logistics. Apparently Matt’s proposal was extremely logistically intensive; Brian sympathizes.

And on that lovely, quiet note, we’re done for the night. Happy holidays, everyone. <3

[charismastaticarchive]

manuela hc:

the grande dame : an exploration of lgbt/camp tropes and anime jokes leading to a complex and likable portrayal of a modern day stock tropes.’

the grande dame is a stock trope of Older Women who represent the stuffy, uppity matronly upper class to comedic effect. 

from the tvtropes page  : ‘they are usually a spinster or widow’ (such as manuela is Forever Unlucky In Love) and if they are married they will be a patron of the arts that drags her husband to operas, even more cultured than the ‘prima donna’ (which manuela was implied to be in the past, but has grown past to become a highly educated professor healer and warrior in addition to her talents in theatre). when the grande dame does have a sympathetic streak, they tend to be an oddball themself (like manuela). she can be a ‘moral guardian’ (and manuela’s skills are in faith magic and she does believe in the goddess), but failing their duty towards ‘respectability’ they turn to drink. (which sounds exactly like manuela).

we could just say that manuela was thus a complicated prima donna that gave up the theatre and turned to drink after aging out of her youthful beauty, into a grande dame figure. certainly, if you look at examples of the grande dame in classical literature, it seems to be a very open-and-shut stock caricature played completely for comedic effect, as does manuela’s whininess and flirtatious milf/cougarness and ‘well i never!’ esque tone. (and she certainly does seem to turn to drink for that very reason.)

but why would u ever compare an OPERA SINGER to classic literature when u could instead compare her to the stage and screen? she’s an actress with a theatrical personality. and that’s where the lgbt readding comes in, as well as why so many lgbt people are attached to manuela, and characters like manuela, in my opinion.

the grande dame has a storied history with the lgbt community. first and foremost, in western society, there was a long history where only men could be actors (this was true in many other places of course, but we’re focusing on the west as manuela’s characterization is mostly focused on western tropes). 

matronly older women characters played for comedic effect (such as the nurse in romeo&juliet, among other such classic roles), were thus played by men in drag. but the tradition of drag for matronly older women in theatre continued long after, to the point where the ‘pantomine dame’ is a storied character/trope in british pantomine---noted for its camp and ‘over the top’ performances, and the tradition continued across the sea in vaudeville drag performances---where lgbt people could graduate from grande dame roles to primma donnas in starring roles as women themselves, regardless of their assigned gender.

after the decline of the vaudeville era BECAUSE of its connection to the lgbt community (and sex work) during the prohibition/”progressive” era, the grande dame (and the inherent camp/gay sensibility of an older woman) did not just STOP EXISTING in the consciousness of western people, and especially not western lgbt people.

no, instead, the grande dame evolved into a still classically camp (over the top, out of place) but a character ever-more entangled in other classic tropes for tough/fierce/unhinged/dramatic women, that we still can see traces of today in every genre that lgbt people are attracted to.

from horror (whatever happened to baby jane and the 'hagsploitation’ that followed it) to musicals (mama rose in ‘rose’s turn’ is literally my tag for manuela but also cats the musical’s ‘memories’ could basically be the benevolent/sad grande dame mood), to fairy tales and children’s stories (Mother Gothel from tangled tho u could make a case for every disney woman villain and also scar as being one tbh, but also mia’s mother in a princess diaries is definitely one, and so is professor macgonagall), to spy dramas (judi dench), to biopics (from joan crawford to every queen pretty much ever) alllll the way back around to drag again (if you’ve ever watched drag race? half the winning snatch games are dames lol). to basically everything ryan murphy has ever done in his whole damn life, especially with Mother Jessica Lange.

the grande dame’s mean strictness and spite has come to represent a trapping for her secret vulnerability/softness (which is the source of her beauty), something lgbt people in particular can relate to as they have to hide their self/love from a world. the camp grande dame is almost always obsessed with beauty and age (so much of our community can’t picture getting old---or doesn’t want to, with many people being deathly afraid of hair loss due to hormones, etc. and then when it comes to attractiveness, attractiveness is often our measure of worth especially in the trans and gay sector, where ‘passing’ or ‘masculinity’ is viewed as a shorthand for ‘respectability’---and so many of us judge each other so harshly based on looks.) but more than anything, the grande dame is always LONELY, or alone, whether it be from being the best/most powerful/rich (and it’s lonely at the top), or in imposed exile due to her age/lack of beauty, the terrible things she’s done, the grande dame is almost always a metaphor for lgbt loneliness.

manuela’s characterization very much abides by these classic camp/gay sensibilities (as well as the classic ones). the modern day gay reading of the grande dame is a much more textured and layered one---but often, grande dames such as they done by judi dench in the 007 movies, or even ryan murphy using jessica lange in the politician---are still objectified by the male gaze with either sexual jokes, or as being made ‘more’ OR ‘less’ than human.... because the grande dame is such a stock trope (even when more complicated by Us Gays), the grande dame is either hypercompetent (in the case of litcherally all of judi dench’s characters or julie andrews’ characters, a Badass Older Woman who is not allowed to be anything more Than Tough And Perfect even when she is in a frenzied huff) or, on the other side of the coin, a complete and total joke or a sob story or picture of an abuser (or all three at once), such as in the case of All Jessica Lange’s Ryan Murphy Characters. Please God Let This Woman Be Free Of Ryan Murphy’s Clutches.

manuela, to me, represents an interesting figure in the Grand Canon of Grande Dames. 

because while she is in every way an anime character---she represents a trope in anime we don’t see often. there are not a lot of older women characters in anime, and when they are---they are usually mid-20s maximum, or they are Sexually Dominant Women, extremely strong and competent women that Can And Will Beat Your Ass ( such as in the case of tsunade from naruto OR lotus from 999, etc). manuela is, thankfully, neither of these.

while fe3h presents manuela as a joke---like classic grande dames were presented as jokes,  the way that manuela is presented, is as an ANIME character with ANIME jokes to people who are ALL familiar at this point with anime jokes, and we are able to relate to her more on a human level than we would relate to the fussy, bitter, overly loquacious grande dames of literature.

the average anime gamer can’t relate to a jane austen biddy talking to you about how the man you are dating is not of marriagable status, and does not think that is funny. but the average anime gamer WILL see you give manuela a porn magazine she thinks is ‘very valuable’ and chuckle a bit to themselves.

but more than that---the game really wants you to LIKE manuela. it makes her relatable to the average gamer who hasn’t cleaned their room in weeks---that sometimes will eat food off the floor, that likes to sing a little too loudly and who feels lonely sometimes (or always).

and even more than any of that, instead of presenting manuela as an UGLY or evil old woman, or an abuser, or an extremely rich woman, and in presenting manuela instead as so very likable and funny, it presents manuela as someone who looks and acts desirable as a friend (and a lover). manuela is a grande dame who is not only sympathetic---she’s human AND FLAWED, just like you, even when her behavior is all jokes and huffiness.

you WANT to be manuela’s friend. you WANT to look deeper into manuela as a person and not a trope---even though she is OBJECTIVELY made up of anime jokes and stock character tropes!

and so this game ends up painting a picture of a lonely woman, a woman who considers herself weak, a woman who is messy, and funny, and loud, who fights (and sometimes is bested by those who are stronger than her)--who pushes other women out of the way to get ahead, but still loves children, who still wants (and deserves) to be loved. even tho most of this information, as manuela relays it to you, is viewed as comedic.

and as manuela is not painted as the grande dame who is a villain---as she is painted so beautifully and theatrically in opera tropes---you can really and truly see her as the star of her own show, a lovely woman trying to live her life the best she can in an adult world that is hard and cruel. just like you are, regardless of ur gender, age, or sexuality.

and from that point of understanding manuela as the grande dame, u can extrapolate manuela in ur own tropes that view her as more human and Deep---and in my opinion, most powerfully, that she is a bisexual woman and hopeless romantic that is most interested in ‘princely’/strong women types. but that’s a hc post for another day.

manuela is THE SUPREME ANIME GRANDE DAME and that anime recontextualization makes her a much better representation of older women than western canon grande dames, the end, send tweet.

[frustratedcastingdirector]

The Times (UK) 10/16/2003

Alex O'Connell goes weak-kneed in the presence of Mark Ruffalo, the anti Hollywood star of In the Cut If there was such a thing as a textbook outsider, Mark Ruffalo would be one. Like Dostoevsky's Raskolnikov, Rilke's Malte Laurids Brigge and, well, Buffy, he is in a netherworld all of his own. Metaphorically speaking, Ruffalo sits on a park bench in the middle of an LA traffic island staring into the smog while most of Tinseltown is vrooming down the highways talking about their Japanese advertising campaigns and what happens if you smoke right after Pilates while on the Atkins. We meet in a hotel in Park Lane, in a suite which has more chintz than a Chelsea draper's. Still, Ruffalo cuts through the frills and fancy, like a pair of industrial shears. To be frank, the furnishings don't get a look-in. His face is soft and crumpled like a baby boxer, his hair is a pile of Italianate curls tousled to unstyled perfection, his eyes are the same lazy, deep brown as his pinstripes. On the soulless hotel interview circuit, Ruffalo is as refreshing as the cold shower I should be having. He doesn't try, he hasn't rehearsed answers, he doesn't care if he says something that might make his agent twitch. Give the man a part in one of the films of the year! (Oh, he's already got one.) A respected theatre actor and director in America but relatively unknown here, barring a star role in the playwright Kenneth Lonergan's film debut You Can Count on Me (2000), Ruffalo is about to ease into the mainstream. The Wisconsin boy has two movies out in the next few months, both in The Times bfi London Film Festival. The first, My Life Without Me, is a drama about a woman with a terminal illness, in which he stars alongside the Canadian actress Sarah Polley. The second, and the biggie, is Jane Campion's cop thriller, In the Cut, the festival's Opening Night Gala. Adapted from the novel by Susanna Moore, the film features Ruffalo as Malloy, a hard nut homicide detective who begins an affair with Frannie, an ethereal New York academic (Meg Ryan). While Malloy is out chasing killers, she's sticking Post-it Notes scrawled with her favourite words on the wall. Ryan is good. Ruffalo is even better as the cop whose incestuous cityscape consists of dives, crime scenes and the odd sweaty mattress. At 35, Ruffalo has taken long enough to get where he is. Partly it was bad luck, he says. Three years ago he was diagnosed with a brain tumour after he finished filming The Last Castle with Robert Redford. "It naturally slowed everything down," he says, in his old-world drawl. "It was taken out immediately and it was benign, but it was a year of being out of work and reassessing. When you're young and you start getting on as the 'hot new thing', you can lose sight of what you are doing it for, and I was starting to get a little disappointed with acting. It made me reassess. Also, they go in there and tinker and you feel like you'll never be the same and, quite frankly, I didn't know if I still had my talent after that." The script for In the Cut arrived eight months after his illness. Campion asked him to lunch and she gave him the good news between courses. Initially, he was concerned about how to make what could easily have been "just another cop role" his own. "We've seen this a thousand times, more, probably," he says, "and it's been done very well by many people." Eventually he located his point of real interest. "There is some part of Malloy that wants more from his class than just where he is at in life. There is some curiosity for fineness and beauty." Research involved trailing Manhattan's cop bars and knocking back whiskey with the guys. "It took a lot of bourbon and cigarettes to get to the point where people were actually being truthful." One of the most talked about elements in the film is the nude sex scene between him and Ryan, her first in a long career. It's erotic and integral. But, boy, wasn't that, well, a pressure? "It was never comfortable," he says, shifting in his chair. "When we had known each other for three months, it was still uncomfortable, people standing around all the time...I'm married ... "I mean, I was really nervous," he laughs, "and when you're nervous it's hard to affect, erm, confidence." Did you have a thing that you did? "A technique? Well, Jane gave me The Woman's Orgasm and a bunch of books and videotapes. At one point she tried to give me an anatomy lesson on the vagina, which frankly brings up all kinds of defensive feelings in a man: 'I know what I'm doing! Why are you telling me that? Let me show you!' And that was funny, seeing myself react like that." Did he read them? "Yes, I did read them. I definitely learnt." He admits that the film's unbalanced relationship dynamic (cop/academic) probably would not work in real life. Luckily Ruffalo has no such personal concerns, as he is married to an actress, Sunrise Coigney. It's fairytale stuff: he saw her in the street, knew she was The One, and had to figure out how to meet her. She has a small part in In the Cut. Ruffalo is unusual in that he is a Hollywood actor with a very definite life outside Hollywood. It has a lot to do with his background in theatre. After moving to San Diego at 13 he uprooted to LA at 18 to study at the Stella Adler theatre school. His big break was in Betrayed by Everyone, a chunk of This is Our Youth which was made into a one-act play at a festival in LA in 1995. There began his great friendship with its writer, Kenneth Lonergan, who later invited him to audition for This is Our Youth, his play about indulged youth in the 1980s. "Since then we've been close friends," Ruffalo says. "We were both struggling in the theatre and then we both did the film You Can Count on Me and it launched our careers." These days he runs an LA theatre company, Page 97, and has written a play and a film of his own. In fact he even turned down a bunch of big studio films, including a part in The Core, because, well, it just didn't suit. And of his considerable freezer of turkeys (he's been in 28 movies, most of them poor to dreadful) he is charmingly self-mocking. Houdini -the biopic? "That is good compared to some of them," he laughs. "I don't network, I see it as kind of crass. There is just this cliquey scene in LA. I don't think that casting directors ever discover anybody, they are just told about somebody by somebody else. I'm sure there are 1,000 people like me out there who have worked really hard and done the plays and the work that really counts, but there is a lot of hyperbole in LA and the focus is in getting to places where you can be seen and get 'famous' and then all the work follows." In fact recently he's even been working on a novel, called Him, which sounds like self-parody or The Outsider Pt 2. "It's about a man who doesn't fit into the modern world," he says with a smirk. Stage, screen, plays, novels, what's it going to be? Unless he makes his mind up, doesn't he risk turning into Ethan Hawke? He sighs, a deep Ruffalo sigh. "They're gonna throw dirt on you at the end of this game, man," he says. "And I don't think you can be too careful at the cost of your life. At the end what do you have but the life you lived?" Quite. CV: MARK RUFFALO AMERICAN HISTORY Born in Wisconsin in Nov, 1967. He moved to San Diego at 18, then to LA where he studied at Stella Adler. NEW BEST FRIEND Playwright Kenneth Lonergan. Ruffalo was in This is Our Youth. MY FAVOURITE WIFE Actress Sunrise Coigney, whom he fell for in the street. UNBEARABLE LIKENESS OF BEING Compared to Marlon Brando and James Dean -"But he had no work ethic," says Ruffalo of the latter. TOPSY TURKEYS Windtalkers (2002); A Fish in the Bathtub (1999); There Goes My Baby (1994).

Article corrections: Ruffalo’s family moved to Virginia Beach, VA when he was 13;Lonergan did not invite Ruffalo to audition for “This is Our Youth,” Ruffalo had to nag him into letting him audition for it; The LA theatre company is called Page 93 not 97; and it was Marlon Brando with no work ethic.

[midnatt-heronweather]

Ave Atqua Vale

I hate that I start this section again this year in its own post. double hate that I start with the loss of a friend. and loath entirely the fact that I then have to add the death of a friend’s father.. and more loss in the fandom worlds.

Kim Hopson: At the start of the crap that filled this year, the Supernatural fandom and the OG UK Torchwood/ Gillespians lost one of our number when Kim Hopson: queen devotee and fellow HL fan died suddenly in her sleep, the fandom locked in various parts of the country due to the virus rallied and sent pictures of her and memories to her sister and Heather being local attended hr funeral  as Fandom rep and friend.

Kim a frank forwards Wiganer (tell me that’s the wrong term if it is), a demon when dancing, was a nightmare to argue with so, naturally, we got on perfectly :D t will be strange not seeing her around the conventions..

_________________________________________

Carl Sharpe: My Parabatai, better half, and partner in crazy crime Heather lost her father this year to Cancer, they knew it was a potential after his diagnosis earlier in the year but she didn’t give up, she kept her head up, kept focused and kept going, I was both amazed and proud of her. won’t lie, did question her sanity when she decided to shave her head for charity, but its how we work. anyway i digress- she has shown more courage and strength this year than I have seen in here since we met. And that is in no way me calling you weak mon amie..It takes a lot to survive what you has this year and not go to pieces,  once saw one of the strongest people I know crack after something like this, literally. Didnt speak often but he was honest and frank, and those are qualties I admire.

______________________________

Dame Enid Diana Elisabeth Rigg 20 July 1938 – 10 September 2020 Born when Doncaster was still classed as West Yorkshire not South Multi award winner and nominated actress of both stage and screen. Who in 1994 was made a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire. She was working right up until her death.. the mark of a true thespian. Her final on screen roll will air this weekend (27/12/2020) when the BBC show their new adaption of Black Narcissus by Rumer Godden. while I will raise my hands and admit that I didn’t make the Emma Peel/Lady Olenna connection, I knew Dame Rigg from her performance In the first adaptation of the Worst Witch whre she brought her dry with and sharp cheekbones to the role of my favourite scary teacher Miss Constance Hardbroom.

She was the brightest of 2 roses: the Gold of the House of Tyrell, and the White of her home county or Yorkshire.

_____________________________

Stan Kirsch July 15, 1968 – January 11, 2020 Actor, Director, producer, teacher, founder of the acting studio called Stan Kirsch Studios. Best known I’m guessing her.. but probably as Richie Ryan in Highlander the series. The death of his character caused waves in a fandom that are still felt to this day. “Clan Denial forever.” _________________________________________________________ Sir Sean Connery 25 August 1930 – 31 October 2020 Multi award winner and nominated screen actor Supporter of the SNP and donator till legislation meant overseas donations were forbidden Connery was knighted by the Queen at an investiture ceremony at Holyrood Palace in Edinburgh on 5 July 2000. To me he’ll always be Ramirez “the overstuffed Haggis” of the OG Highlander movie. he retired from acting back in 07 Connery's disillusionment with the "idiots now making films in Hollywood" was cited as a reason for his decision to retire. _____________________________________________ I know so many more people have died, friends and family as well as famous people but.. I kept it short for a reason.

"nunc tamen intereā haec, prīscō quae mōre parentum trādita sunt tristī mūnere ad īnferiās, accipe frāternō multum mānantia flētū. Atque in perpetuum, frāter, avē atque valē." Catullus 101 -  Gaius Valerius Catullus

[taralouisereed]

The Australian news article doesn’t seem to work as a link.... It should be found here: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/arts/review/dance-academy-the-movie-earns-its-place-at-the-barre/news-story/cfa647e840ce679e8cee5a8ded83fdfd

Warning: it has minor possible plot spoilers... minor! And it claims it is ‘’better than La La Land’’!!!! Yeah!

STEPHEN ROMEI

OK, I’m just going to say this right at the start: Dance Academy, a feature film sequel to the successful Australian television series, is better than La La Land. Now that may seem like an extravagant plie (I looked up the words for ballet movements after seeing this movie) and people will disagree with me. Even Faye Dunaway thought La La Land should have won a best picture Oscar.

I liked the Emma Stone-Ryan Gosling song and dance romance-drama, but for me Dance Academy feels more real. It has something about it that is more dramatic, more emotional, more complex, which is surprising for a movie aimed at the teens and young adults who loved the Logie-winning, Emmy-nominated TV show, which ran for three seasons from 2010 to 2013.

Set 18 months after the final TV episode, the film explores the early adult lives of the would-be ballet dancers, who are now not teens but in their early 20s. Some, such as Abigail (dancer, singer and actress Dena Kaplan), realised their teen dream and are members of the Sydney-based National Academy of Dance. Others are more footloose.

The action opens with a ballet at the Sydney Opera House. We see the super-talented dan­cer Tara (a brilliant Xenia Goodwin). But as the scene widens we realise she is watching the performance on a TV screen. She is at the Opera House, yes, but working as a waitress. “Remember we are feeding old rich people, not ballet dancers,’’ her admonishing boss reminds her.

Tara, who could have been “the best dancer of her generation”, broke her back after slipping on a bead during a performance of Stravinsky’s Persephone. Not for nothing does that ballet include Hades. She has recovered but her dancing days seem to be over. She is suing the academy for damages. Her lawyer thinks she will win and receive at least a million.

But we know how Tara feels. The first scene shows her in a creative-writing class, reading a story she’s been working on. “All I see is a blank page and a giant question mark,’’ her fictional self says. “Who am I? Who is anyone without a dream?” And so the prima ballerina of a question is established. Can Tara make a comeback or is her dream dead? This is the regular storyline of lots of dance movies, but that doesn’t necessarily make it weak or cliched, and certainly it unfolds here with passion, nuance, intelligence and even surprise.

The crew from the TV series returns. It’s the second feature (after the romantic comedy Ali’s Wedding) for director Jeffrey Walker, who has an impressive television CV that includes Neighbours, Blue Heelers, Home and Away, the Jack Irish series and in the US, four episodes of the hit comedy Modern Family. Samantha Strauss continued as scriptwriter. The result is a tight, honest, moving drama that vibrates with the optimism and uncertainty of being young. There is no soap opera here.

The camerawork (Martin McGrath) reveals the real and imagined lives of the dancers. The pure physicality of dancing is apparent in unexpected moments, such as a behind-the-scenes shot of the dancers who have just come off stage. They are gasping for breath. They need to go back on stage soon. I don’t think I’ve seen a dance film that made me realise how hard it is. And that’s just the physical side. The emotional stress is also there, especially in innovative scenes where Tara remembers her accident.

There’s a sensuality too, though well within the PG rating. And perhaps this is one area where the rating renders the characters a bit unreal. No one swears, no one has sex (that we see). There is a brief, humorous moment involving a celebrity, a topless selfie and Twitter. I don’t mind such absences, but I suppose most 20-somethings do drop both the F-word and their pants now and then.

Most of the original cast is back. Tara’s boyfriend Christian (Jordan Rodrigues) is teaching modern dance to kids.

The gorgeous Kat (a bold yet subtle Alicia Banit) is in New York, starring in a children’s TV show that has seen her climb the ladder to “C-list celebrity”. Her penthouse apartment is nice. She’s hanging out with an American muso, Xavier (Nic Westaway, who does the accent well), who says he doesn’t want to be a minor talent but, in a clever line, “a Hemsworth”. He doesn’t say which of the three Australian actor brothers he wants to be.

Ben (Thomas Lacey) is still dealing with an illness that makes dancing life-threatening. Ollie (Keiynan Lonsdale) is also overseas, putting himself through cattle calls. Persephone becomes important to both of them, and to Tara, who finds an outlet for her literary skills. The new head of the academy is Madeline Moncur (a chilly but not ice-cold Miranda Otto) and Tara Morice is back as Tara’s former ballet teacher Lucinda Raine. The action spreads from Sydney to New York, both full of life, and later to Texas. There are also jokes about the cities that are funny because they are true, such as when Tara runs through Manhattan in an elaborate costume and no one blinks. Indeed, a ­Spider-Man salutes her.

I don’t want to reveal too much, as part of the thrill is watching, waiting, wondering as the dancers experience the pain and passion of their dream. “Everything hurts, every day,’’ Abigail says at one point. The classes, the auditions, the performances all ripple with the fear of failure.

This brings us to the deftest aspect of Dance Academy. The real question is this: is the dream worth it? When a struggling Tara says she is “nothing” without dance, a friend says, “Choose something else.’’ Christian asks her, “You are hurting yourself every day and I am just meant to let you?” When Tara complains that “I could do this variation when I was 15” she soon meets a teen dancer who can do it. Is it possible that Tara would be better off if she forgot her dreams? She has revealing conversations on this with Kat, Abigail, Christian and Miss Raine.

This theme evokes one of the great ballet films, The Turning Point (1977), with Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft. Ballet has interested a lot of filmmakers. It pirouettes with politics in Bruce Beresford’s Mao’s Last Dancer and in White Nights, starring Mikhail Baryshnikov, probes the psyche in Black Swan (2010), with Natalie Portman, and tackles class and gender biases in Billy Elliot. And of course being torn by the urge to dance is central to the tragic 1948 British classic The Red Shoes, choreographed by Robert Helpmann. Australia’s Dance Academy deserves its place at the barre.

Dance Academy (PG)

4 stars

National release

Oh my goodness, when, oh when will I get to see it!!!!!!!??????

[blainematters]

For your reading pleasure, a selection of awful fucking quotes from CC’s latest *~masterpiece~*. That’s right, I read all 407 pages so you don’t have to! Unless you too are a complete masochist, in which case go nuts.

This is image heavy, fair warning. Some names have been slightly altered to protect the crazies who would read this and cry.

Audiences found the show’s campiness to be rather charming, its unique underdog spirit resonated with them, and a global phenomenon was born. Nice description of Glee there. Very original. Good work.

Pitying looks were cast upon the unfortunate souls without seats, as if they were third-class passengers on the Titanic. The death of 1500 people in the worst maritime disaster in history is not a funny or clever simile.

Luckily for him, these days Cash had a little help to take the edge off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out three large pills and two marijuana gummy bears. This is how the main character treats his anxiety. He takes this combo with whiskey. This apparently makes him ‘completely numb’. 

He thought it was funny how there was hydrocodone, weed, and alcohol flowing through his veins at a work event but he wasn’t the biggest douchebag onstage. Except he really, really is. Funnily enough people on drugs aren’t the best judge of character.

If he responded with something they didn’t like, his social media would be bombarded with pictures, videos, and GIFs of decapitated animals, human feces, and militants destroying priceless artifacts.

“Olá, fucktards,” Davi said—his use of American slang was a work in progress. What. This character is brazilian, and he swears constantly. Those are his only character traits.

“That’s incredible, Huda,” Mo said. “If only diplomacy worked as efficiently as a fandom, there would never be war again.” I’m fucking dying.

“Young lady,” the psychologist said. “I have studied the human mind for more than four decades. I understand the appeal of joining the transgender community, but I promise you, the transgender movement is nothing short of a trend for nonconformists. In fact, it is still considered a mental illness by the World Health Organization.” Sorry, what appeal? What even is this nonsense? Why does it go on for five pages? Why the need to unnecessarily torture the trans character with this when it makes no difference to his storyline? Why?

Mo had suffered from OID (overactive imagination disorder) since childhood. The condition wasn’t officially recognized by the United States Department of Health (because Mo had made it up) but the disorder was just as taxing and consuming as any. From the entire community of people with mental illness: Fuck you CC. Fuck you for this awful, awful thing. Kindly go fuck yourself for pretending you have any understanding of what a mental illness is like to live with. Ugh.

A very good-looking man in his early twenties. He wore thick sunglasses, a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and designer boots. Yes, this is how ‘Cash’ is described. He’s also been previously described as a total mess who hasn’t showered in days, so I’m not totally convinced it’s accurate.

“I’m T0pher C0llins. It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter.” T0pher C0llins? Are you fucking shitting me?

“I walked into my bedroom and saw Peaches had taken a huge dump in the middle of my bed, so I had to clean it up and put my comforter in the washer.” This is said by the only girl in the group, in front of ‘Cash’, who she idolises. Because girls are just stupid fucking blabbermouths right?

“-it’s getting asked advice on how to break into the industry from the guy taking a dump in the stall next to you” Oh look, another thing that has never, ever happened.

“You gotta say that shit so no one labels you as a future has-been—that’ll kill a career. Even if it’s obvious you’ll never do anything but the show you’re on, you can’t admit it.” The first honest and realistic thing in this book, and it only took till chapter seven!

“Every time I get any recognition he writes me into a coma or puts me through something horrendous as punishment. After I was on the cover of TV Guide, he put a dangerous stunt into a script and it broke my ankle. After I won a People’s Choice Award, he put my character in a coma for twelve episodes. The list goes on.” I wonder how Ryan Murphy will react when he hears about this character who is so clearly him?

“Nothing is stranger than fanfiction,” Cash said, like a sailor recalling his encounter with a horrible sea creature. THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS REAL LIFE FANFICTION YOU HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE.

“He’s a little jaded, I’ll give you that—but after all the joy he’s given us over the years, the least we can do is let him be a human being. ” Yes, let the straight white cis male tell you all how to think, feel, and act. Your hero isn’t a douche, he’s misunderstood. Let him treat you like shit because who else gets that experience?

The world’s biggest rubber-band ball bounced into the horizon like a deer recently freed from captivity. Chapter nine: ‘Cash’ destroys a national landmark for shits and giggles.

The actor excitedly passed out tickets to Topher, Joey, Sam, and the Sacagawea statue—mistaking it for Mo. He’s also a racist. Are we surprised?

Why is he dancing like an epileptic on roller skates? Aaaaand a joke about epilepsy. I’m sure Hannah loves it.

“What did you do? How did you get over it?” Joey said. “One day I woke up and decided I had had enough.” ‘Cash’ cures his crippling agoraphobia by just going outside. Again, fuck you CC. That is not how mental illness works. Do two seconds of research for fucks sake.

“The night we were all watching the season six finale of Wiz Kids at Joey’s house, I was actually supposed to be watching Billy while my mom was at a Bunco party. I gave him some cold medicine so he would sleep and ran home to check on him every commercial break.” Drug your disabled siblings, your friends will think you’re cool and laugh about instead of telling you  that you’re an awful fucking person. Which you are.

“Then one day, as I was posting a GIF of a decapitated giraffe on her profile, I learned WizKidLiz01 was a little girl with Down syndrome.” Also on the list of things that make you an awful fucking person… plagiarism or no, don’t do this shit.

“So what’s your real name?” Topher asked. “Now, that you’re not going to believe,” Cash said. “It’s Tom Hanks.”

“They were the most eccentric group of stoners Cash had ever seen and he couldn’t take his eyes off them, like they were the subjects of a fascinating nature documentary.” One character is literally screaming her head off with paranoia and scratching invisible bugs in her skin, but hey, watching teenagers on a drug trip is so interesting!

“I think you’re giving him too much credit,” Cash said. “He’ll be long gone by then.” Oh yeah, ‘Cash’ is extremely preoccupied with death. He frequently says shit like this alluding to it. No-one notices.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to tell the fangirls about the treatment we’ve received today and unleash them upon your establishment like a plague of locusts! They’ll harass you, humiliate you, and chase your wrinkled, old, racist ass into hiding for the rest of your miserable existence! Do I make myself clear?” Um… what? Why would you even?

“Of course the brakes worked, I was just fucking with you,” Cash said. ‘Cash’ continues to be the absolute worst by making someone think she’s going to die. Of course, she somehow she also doesn’t know that James Dean died in a car accident. Sigh.

“But I think we’d know it if he was mentally unbalanced or an addict of some kind.” YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOU ARE A COMPLETE IDIOT. YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED ‘CASH’.

“You lose the right to humanity when you become famous. It’s just the way it is, but I’m not going to whine about it.” Except in this entire book.

“I’m transgender!” Sam declared. “I know what it’s like to have everyone treat you like something you’re not because people have been doing it to me my whole life. I’ve never met someone who could relate—but it’s like everything you just said! We’re both trapped! We’re both prisoners of unfair expectations!” These! things! are! not! comparable! Mostly because ‘Cash’ could leave that life any time, Sam won’t ever stop having to deal with being trans. Shut the fuck up CC. Sam then spends waaaay too much time explaining gender and sexual identity to ‘Cash’ because he’s a complete moron.

Darla spoke with the energy and enthusiasm of a camp counselor on crystal meth. How is this joke in any way appropriate when the main character is clearly a raging drug addict? He’s literally constantly tweaking.

The others stared at Cash in disbelief. It was like a demon living inside of him had taken the reins. Watch as these people we’re supposed to believe all got into prestigious colleges like Colombia and MIT completely fail to recognise the signs of an addict going through withdrawal.

They had never in their lives felt more exposed, more violated, or more gutted. It was as if someone had ripped off all their clothes and chucked their hearts into the depths of the Grand Canyon. ‘Cash’ is so self-obsessed and full of self-pity he decides to out two people in the group and tell another she’s wasting her life just to make them all feel as awful as he does. What a delightful person huh?

“Joey, I have always wanted a gay best friend. I’m not mad because you hid your orientation from me; I’m just upset because of all the Will & Grace opportunities we’ve missed out on.” ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

He was staring at Topher with a weak smile and his eyes were opened just barely enough to see. He clearly knew who Topher was, but Topher couldn’t place him.

“I have glioblastoma,” Cash said. “That’s a fancy stage name for brain cancer.”

I was fine and could easily hide this until a few days ago, but now I’m so weak and frail you don’t even recognise me. Usually Glioblastoma on the brain stem causes symptoms like seizures, confusion, paralysis, vomiting, dizziness, and loss of basic functions, but I’m a special snowflake and get to stay able-bodied and cognisant until the end!

“In April I started getting these really bad migraines,” Cash explained. “A doctor came to the set and recommended I get a scan. We were behind in production so the producers wouldn’t give me time off to get it done.” It’s all Hollywood’s fault he’s dying! Not his for not getting any fucking treatment. And actors can and do take days off for health reasons, that shit is totally allowed.

“Holy shit,” Topher said. “These are all mine.… You’ve saved every letter I ever wrote to you.…” That’s not totally fucking creepy at all, ‘Cash’.

“He’s not a bad person—he’s got brain cancer! That’s why he’s been behaving the way he has!” That makes everything okay! Except not really. Cancer doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole. You aren’t making the most of what life you have left, you’re just being a shithead.

“The actor had had so little control over his life, but his death was exactly how he wanted it to be.” Yes, he dies five days later. No-one wondered about his odd behaviour or suspected he might be sick until they visited him in a hospice. These people must be so stupid they can barely function for this to make sense. He’s been dying for months and nobody at all noticed? Bullshit.

“Oh gosh, I’m so nervous to hear how it went! I practically feel like I came out as transgender, too!” NO MORE.

“Not to be a downer, but did anyone watch the footage from Cash’s funeral today?” Mo asked. “Why did they wait a whole month to have it?” Topher asked. “Because it was sponsored by Canon and their new camera comes out this week,” Mo said.

I don’t think companies generally sponsor funerals? Let’s just hope it wasn’t an open casket, that shit would be nasty after a month.

“Fuck off, I’m banging Marilyn Monroe.” No, god no. Please no. Just end this thing now please.

The aspiring writer felt like she and her friends were living a ridiculous happy ending straight from the final page of one of her outlandish stories. Uh…

And a bonus from the author’s note:

However, for the purpose of good storytelling, the characters’ opinions and choices are sometimes flawed. Please do not view their actions as generalizations or examples to follow, but as the mistakes and triumphs of individuals. All of my characters were awful and/or treated like shit by everyone else, but that’s for the sake of the story. It’s not my fault if you act this way and everyone hates you! (And still love me please god I’m so alone...)

[joeygoeshollywood]

Oscars 2017: My Fantasy Winners and Nominees

Do you ever watch the Oscars and are disappointed with the winners and the snubs? I know I do, which is why I have my own Fantasy Oscars. Here are my picks and I encourage you to do the same!

Best Picture

Winner: 10 Cloverfield Land

Nominees:

Arrival Everybody Wants Some!! Jackie La La Land Lion The Lobster Manchester by the Sea Moonlight Nocturnal Animals

I personally thought that 2016 was overall a pretty weak year for movies. That said, no movie got me more excited this year than 10 Cloverfield Lane. Definitely the most overlooked movie of the year, this psychological mystery thriller had me at the edge of my seat from start to finish. 

For the record, I thought La La Land was beautifully made, but it didn’t have me over the moon like other people. And I thought dramas like Jackie and Nocturnal Animals and comedies like Everybody Wants Some!! and The Lobster were worthy of a Best Picture nomination. 

Best Director

Winner: Damien Chazelle - La La Land

Nominees:

Barry Jenkins - Moonlight Yorgos Lanthimos - The Lobster Dan Trachtenberg - 10 Cloverfield Lane Denis Villeneuve - Arrival

This was really no contest. Damien Chazelle created a work of art. 

Best Actor

Winner: Casey Affleck - Manchester by the Sea

Nominees:

Colin Ferrell  - The Lobster Ryan Gosling - La La Land Michael Keaton - The Founder Denzel Washington - Fences

Casey Affleck easily gave the most challenging male lead performance of the year. Playing a damaged man who has to pick up the pieces after his brother dies and managed to make us laugh is no easy task. I also think Colin Ferrell deserved praise for his career-best performance in The Lobster and Michael Keaton again proves that he’s one of the best actors of our generation in the widely unseen film The Founder. 

Best Actress

Winner: Natalie Portman - Jackie

Nominees:

Amy Adams - Arrival Sally Field - Hello, My Name is Doris Isabelle Huppert - Elle Emma Stone - La La Land

As much as I like Emma Stone, I think Natalie Portman is more worthy of the Oscar for her portrayal of Jackie Kennedy. Amy Adams has become the new Leonardo DiCaprio in my book and was completely snubbed for her brilliant performance in Arrival and Sally Field gave such a memorable performance in the indie comedy Hello, My Name is Doris. 

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: John Goodman - 10 Cloverfield Lane

Nominees:

Mahershala Ali - Moonlight Jeff Bridges - Hell or Hight Water Lucas Hedges - Manchester by the Sea Timothy Spall - Denial

There is no bigger travesty in any of the acting categories than John Goodman not being nominated for his performance in 10 Cloverfield Lane. He was brilliantly terrifying as a man who kept audiences guessing whether he’s good, crazy, or evil! Timothy Spall also deserves a shoutout for his role as the infamous Holocaust denier David Irving in the courtroom drama Denial. 

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Viola Davis - Fences

Nominees:

Olivia Colman - The Lobster Naomie Harris - Moonlight Molly Shannon - Other People Michelle Williams - Manchester by the Sea

It’s about time the Academy gave Viola Davis an Oscar. She’s truly a terrific actress and her performance as a struggling wife and mother in Fences is worthy of gold. That said, Molly Shannon came at a very close second for her painful performance as a cancer-sickened mother with a sense of humor in the indie dramedy Other People. Olivia Colman also deserves recognition for her hilarious dry-humor performance in The Lobster. 

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: The Lobster

Nominees:

Everybody Wants Some!! Jackie La La Land Manchester by the Sea

No film this year was more original than The Lobster. Here’s the synopsis: In a dystopian near future, single people, according to the laws of The City, are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in forty-five days or are transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods. The result: a hilarious well-crafted dark comedy. 

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: Arrival

Nominees:

Denial Fences Lion Hidden Figures

It’s hard to make a sci-fi film feel so real. Arrival did exactly that. Not only was it a great drama, it was thought-provoking, something that’s rare for any film to do these days. 

Best Cinematography

Winner: La La Land

Nominees:

Arrival Moonlight Nocturnal Animals Silence

The opening sequence alone gave La La Land this award. It’s worth noting that Nocturnal Animals was completely snubbed in this category. It’s stunning cinematography deserved a nomination. 

Best Editing

Winner: Arrival

Nominees:

10 Cloverfield Lane Jackie La La Land Nocturnal Animals

Part of Arrival’s brilliance that it seamlessly jumps in time, and the strange thing is, you don’t exactly know if you’re in the present, the future, or even the past, yet it flowed so naturally. 

Best Production Design

Winner: La La Land

Nominees:

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Florence Foster Jenkins Hail, Caesar! Jackie

Best Costume Design

Winner: Jackie

Nominees:

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Florence Foster Jenkins Hidden Figures La La Land

Best Makeup & Hairstyling

Winner: Star Trek Beyond

Nominees:

Deadpool Florence Foster Jenkins Jackie Suicide Squad

Best Visual Effects

Winner: The Jungle Book

Nominees:

Arrival Doctor Strange A Monster Calls Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Best Original Score

Winner: La La Land

Nominees:

10 Cloverfield Lane Jackie Lion Nocturnal Animals

Best Original Song

Winner: “How Far I’ll Go” - Moana

Nominees:

"Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” - La La Land “City of Stars” - La La Land “Drive It Like You Stole It” - Sing Street “Montage” - Swiss Army Man

Best Sound Editing

Winner: 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Nominees:

Deepwater Horizon Don’t Breathe La La Land Patriot’s Day

Best Sound Mixing

Winner: La La Land

Nominees:

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Deepwater Horizon Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Best Animated Feature

Winner: Kubo and the Two Strings

Nominees:

Finding Dory Moana Sing Zootopia

ORIGINAL CATEGORIES

Best Ensemble

Winner: Moonlight

Nominees:

Hidden Figures The Lobster Manchester by the Sea Nocturnal Animals

It’s remarkable how the Oscars haven’t added Best Ensemble as a category. Moonlight handily wins this year with strong performances from Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris, Janelle Monáe, and breakthrough actors Alex R. Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, and Trevante Rhodes, who all play the same character in different stages of his life. 

Best Comedy

Winner: The Lobster

Nominees:

Deadpool Everybody Wants Some!! Sing Street Swiss Army Man

Comedies don’t get enough praise. The Lobster is not only a great comedy, it’s a great film. 

Best Breakthrough Filmmaker

Winner: Barry Jenkins - Moonlight

Nominees:

Robert Eggers - The Witch Chris Kelly - Other People Dan Kwan & Daniel Scheinert - Swiss Army Man Yorgos Lanthimos - The Lobster

A category dedicated to writer-directors, Barry Jenkins wins this award for brutal but important coming-of-age drama Moonlight which depicts the life of a gay black boy growing up in the ghetto. 

Best Breakthrough Actor

Winner: Lewis MacDougall - A Monster Calls

Nominees:

Alden Ehrenreich - Hail, Caesar! Alex Hibbert - Moonlight Sunny Pawar - Lion Ferdia Walsh-Peelo - Sing Street

Child actors tend to go unappreciated. Lewis MacDougall gave one of the best performances of the year. A Monster Calls put him on the map as a troubled boy who befriends a monster when his mother’s illness gets worse.  One of the most powerful and emotional performances of the year, he will have a long and successful career ahead of him.

Best Breakthrough Actress

Winner: Anya Taylor-Joy - The Witch

Nominees:

Auli’i Cravalho - Moana Zoey Deutch - Everybody Wants Some!! Ruth Negga - Loving Madison Wolfe - The Conjuring 2 

Anya Taylor-Joy gives a terrifyingly good performance as a girl whose family accuses her of being a witch in The Witch. 

What would your Fantasy Oscars look like? Let me know!

[olliefilm]

My Oscar Predictions 2017

Another year, a different political landscape and an exceptional set of films. At the end of the night, I believe La La Land’s technical wonder will bring in a hefty haul to rival Titanic and Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. That aside, I have to admit there are some categories I cannot summarize due to the usual hindrance of having films released yonks after the award season. Specifically, the Foreign Language category: I confess to only having seen two out of five (Toni Erdmann and Tanna), and Animation, three. Having said that, the former is likely to be a battle between the miraculous Toni Erdmann and Asghar Farhadi’s The Saleman – which has had a political boost, due to Farhadi being refused entry in the US.  

 BEST PICTURE

 Out of the nine nominees this year, seven of them are stellar enough to make the shortlist. The other two? Fences and Hacksaw Ridge were not bad, but they had glaring weaknesses. Fences stubbornly refuses to allow much cinematic licence and Hacksaw Ridge has a soapy first half against a balls-to-the-wall second half. If I had my way, I would have happily replaced them with Whit Stillman’s droll adaptation of Lady Susan, Love and Friendship, and Andrea Arnold’s breath-taking epic, American Honey.

 There is little doubt that La La Land will win the day. In a sense, it already has, ever since it premiered at Venice last year. It is a film which hooks you with a seductive and all-too crafted postcard of Hollywood. If anyone is to give La La Land a self-congratulatory hug, it will be the Academy. My personal thoughts on the film do not reflect the ravers or the detractors. It is a film which is beyond flaw in the first half, slags a bit in the second, and comes around in the final act. Yes, La La Land is a hip little busker with shiny shoes, but it is hard to not appreciate some of its spectacular moments, before we have that lecture on how jazz is being killed by blah-de-blah. In other words, I cannot bring myself to be that smug and say, “It’s overrated”.

 If I have a flag to fly, I fly it wholeheartedly for Moonlight, which I’ve been banging on about since I saw it in New York. It is a remarkable film combining the gritty social realism of suburban Miami with strong trance-like tones which transcends Moonlight into a fleeting piece of work. My second place prize would go to another film dealing with a masculine crisis, and that is Kenneth Lonergan’s carefully written and expertly performed Manchester-by-the Sea. Having said that, I doubt you’ll see a more sensitive and touching film than Moonlight this year. It’s a shame it will be trumped by La La Land, but then again Boyhood was trumped by Birdman a couple of years back.

 Should win: Moonlight

Will win: La La Land

  BEST DIRECTOR

 Barry Jenkins should win for Moonlight, but this is pretty much in the bag for La La Land’s boy wonder: Damien Chazelle. This is classic case of tactfulness verses craftsmanship and La La Land screams ‘craft’ whereas Moonlight has careful brush strokes. Elsewhere, Mel Gibson has got his pat on the back, Denis Villeneuve will win another day, and Kenneth Lonergan is more likely to have a better chance in the writing category. Gibson aside, it is a solid group directors on top of their game. Pity we couldn’t get Andrea Arnold for American Honey.

 Should win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight

Will win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land

   BEST ACTOR

 Casey Affleck should have an undisturbed path to Best Actor, and so he should. In playing a man who stonewalls everyone he comes across, he is quietly captivating to watch. There is no doubt he deserves all the plaudits. Also competing is Ryan Gosling doing what Ryan Gosling does reliably well – dancing and swooning amicably. Denzel Washington’s performance is barnstorming, but it’s a swaggering performance which is better suited on stage. Andrew Garfield is as close as Hacksaw Ridge comes to having a genuine heart, and Viggo Mortensen is well grounded in Captain Fantastic. This is Casey’s to lose.

 Should win: Casey Affleck for Manchester-by-the-Sea

Will win: Casey Affleck for Manchester-by-the-Sea

  BEST ACTRESS

 The scale has teetered between Emma Stone and Natalie Portman. At the moment, Emma Stone tips it for her cordial performance in La La Land as an aspiring actress. Plus, she sends in the clowns with ‘That Spotlight Number’, namely The Audition Song. Mind you, Natalie Portman’s Jackie Onassis is so eerily detailed to be counted out. Personally, I’m hoping for a bombshell similar to the Golden Globes in the form of Isabelle Huppert. Her character in Elle would just not have the time to deal with deceased presidential husbands, or worrying whether the one-woman show was a hit. Huppert is a force of nature I’ll take any day against the other nominees. I would also like to note a flagrant absence throughout this award season for Rebecca Hall. Her trembling performance in Christine was one of the finest of last year.

 Should win: Isabelle Huppert for Elle

Will win: Emma Stone for La La Land

  BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

 Let’s get my bone to pick out of the way: Dev Petel is not a supporting actor in Lion, and even if he was rightly placed as a leading actor, I think his young counterpart – Sunny Pawar - is a better submission. Anyway, Petel is up against Mahershala Ali for his brilliantly measured performance as a father figure in Moonlight, and Lucas Hedges as a teenager wracking his brain over being placed under the guardianship of Casey Affleck in Manchester. Both of those actors deserve the award over Jeff Bridges and Michael Shannon, both playing gruff sheriffs. What a stretch.

 Should win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight

Will win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight

  BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

 There is no single fault with the selections for Best Supporting Actress, and funnily enough, almost all of the performances are of mothers. Nicole Kidman’s performance in Lion is her best since Birth, Naomie Harris is formidable as a drug addicted mother, Octavia Spencer is a pleasure as the senior figure of an ensemble of bright women in Hidden Figures, and Michelle Williams is brilliant in a role which made me yearn for more of her character in Manchester-by-the-Sea. However, Viola Davis looks to win the accolade for her portrayal of a long-suffering housewife in Fences. It cries and screams for awards.

 Should win: Michelle Williams for Manchester-by-the Sea

Will win: Viola Davis for Moonlight

[elizaslegacy]

i want you to belong to me (chapter 2)

Period: modern

Pairings: Lin x reader, Anthony x reader

Warnings: cursing (as always)

The show went pretty smoothly your first few nights, although you had no previous experience to compare it to. You met the rest of the cast, and had found fast friends in Daveed and Phillipa (or as she affectionately told you to call her, Pippa). At some point during your fifth show, you snuck into the wings to watch pieces of the show. It was good. Like, really fucking good. The actors flawlessly portrayed their characters as if they had lived in their shoes in some sort of past life.

You giggled at Daveed’s French accent; you marveled at Pippa’s insane vocal talent. You thought your favorite part of Act 1 was definitely Satisfied. Renee was another level of talent. You joined the men in the cast for what was apparently a nightly tradition - a backstage dance party during The Schuyler Sisters. 

You had vaguely noticed Lin’s eyes scanning up and down your body as you danced, your hips rolling to the beat. You had immediately questioned your dancing skills and quickly toned it down; you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your new coworkers just yet. 

During the intermission, you helped actors fix the makeup that they had sweat off - or in Anthony’s case, “accidentally” rubbed off. You were carefully combing through his curly locks with your fingers when Daveed and Lin walked in. The taller man was laughing hysterically, his wild curls bouncing as his body was racked with cackles. Lin looked extremely annoyed and almost a little flustered. You were surprised; it was a side to the outgoing man you had never seen before. 

“What’s up?” you inquired as you glanced at the pair in amusement. Lin rolled his eyes and plopped down in a chair. “Daveed’s being an ass, as usual,” he huffed. Daveed scoffed dramatically. “I am not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

“You’re just annoyed because I figured out that-”

Lin cut the curly haired man off with a hard pillow to the face. You giggled amusedly, tapping Anthony’s shoulder to let him know that he could go. He flashed you a grateful smile and scampered out of the room.

Back on the other side of the room, Lin was still going after Daveed angrily as the other man continued to laugh. “Dude, I don’t know what you’re so mad about, it was so easy to figure out. You’re so obvious,” Daveed howled. “I can’t blame you though, she’s hot!” You considered what you had just heard slowly. Lin was interested in someone, and it was obvious enough for people to figure it out. You felt your heart sink the slightest bit. If it was so obvious, it must be someone else. Right? You were sure that you’d be able to tell if Lin was making advances on you.

Crestfallen, you decided to at least put an end to Lin’s embarrassment. “Hey! Diggs,” you called sternly. The gazes of the two men snapped up to you quickly. “Chair. Now.” Daveed scrambled towards you, sitting in front of you with a guilty smile. You rolled your eyes impatiently as you began to stretch the wig cap over his curly locks.

“(Y/N)?” Lin called softly. You glanced up at him quickly and saw the apprehensive look on his face.

“Yeah?”

You heard a deep breath from him; it was almost shaky. Daveed began cackling once again - god knows why - so you yanked on the curly haired man’s ear. That shut him up. “This Friday we’re having a little cast party,” Lin blurted out. “Well, not really little. Our cast isn’t really great at keeping gatherings small and casual. But it’s gonna be at this high end club and I was wondering-”

“Yes, I would like to go,” you cut in, watching a small smile play on Lin’s lips. You signaled to Daveed that he was done after fastening his wig on, and the taller man left. Lin moved to the chair in front of you. “You almost seemed nervous to ask me, Miranda,” you mused. You removed the elastic in his dark hair and began working some dry shampoo in with your fingers - the actors’ hair tended to get pretty nasty after a whole act of singing and dancing.

You watched as Lin bit his lip. “N-no...” he protested, shrugging casually. “Diggs was just making me nervous with the teasing is all.” You felt your heart sink the slightest bit for the second time that night. God, why were you so bitter that Lin was interested in someone? You barely knew the guy, and you hadn’t spent tons of time together. If anything, you had been avoiding him as a result of the weird feelings he seemed to breed within you.

Shaking the odd jealousy that plagued you away instantly, you pulled yourself out of your thoughts and realized that you had been just absentmindedly stroking and playing with Lin’s soft hair. You yanked your hands away nervously. He probably thinks I’m so fucking strange, you thought glumly as your cursed yourself. But then the strangest thing happened. As you removed your hands from gently running through Lin’s hair, he subconsciously moved his head back and followed them - almost like he was searching for the contact you had just deprived him of.

You didn’t know what to say, so you did the only thing you could think of - you wove your hands back into his hair and began stroking it again. Lin immediately let out a satisfied hum, causing you to crack a smile. “My god, I’ve found your weakness,” you gasped jokingly, attempting to shatter the silence. Lin looked up at you with those huge brown eyes in inquiry. You gestured to your hands, which were working their way through his long, dark locks. “Who would’ve thought that the Pulitzer Prize winning genius would come undone from getting his hair played with?”

Lin’s cheeks flushed with color and he avoided eye contact with you. You continued to grin at him despite his clear embarrassment. The loudspeaker interrupted the moment with a “Places everyone! Please get in your places for Act Two!” At that, he leapt out of your chair and darted towards the door. He was about to leave when you stopped him. “Lin,” you called out, hoping he wouldn’t ignore you.

Lin turned to face you, still making minimal eye contact with you. The blush hadn’t disappeared from his cheeks. “Yeah?” he murmured anxiously. You bit your lip, attempting to hold back an earsplitting smile.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you assured the flustered man in front of you. “And if it’s worth anything, I think it’s really adorable.”

With that, Lin was gone in a flash of hunter green velvet.

You eyes stayed glued to the doorframe, the recent events playing through your head over and over again. That was very weird, but you didn’t really mind hearing that content little hum fro- stop it! You shut down that train of thought immediately; it was headed on a dangerous path towards affection and attraction. Lin has feelings for someone! you reminded yourself harshly. No matter how hard you tried, though, you couldn’t stop thinking back and smiling.

You unlocked your phone out of boredom, flipping through Instagram and Twitter as you longed for the comfort of your bed. That night, your plan was as follows: pour a glass of white wine, have a bubble bath, do a face mask, and fall asleep. You savored the thoughts of the haven that was your apartment; your phone buzzed with the notification of a new text message.

It was from Daveed. Great, you thought as you rolled your eyes. Shouldn’t he be, like, on stage actually doing his job? The text had been sent in a group chat with a bunch of random numbers.

Daveed: Hola HamFam. We still on for post show Chinese takeout and movies tonight?

You were about to type out a confused reply when texts from other numbers began flooding in.

1: Ooh yeah!

2: Hellz yes!

3: I’m down for some wine as well.

2: Boooooring. I was thinking shots

1: How has Ant not died from alcohol poisoning yet?

3: Some of us would actually like to function tomorrow, Ramos.

2: Y am i friends with u losers?

4: Lol i accidentally put my phone in my pocket and it was ringing off the hook during Hurricane

4: I screwed up like 50 times BAHAHA

2: Old Man Miranda strikes again

1: Back to tonight’s plans....who’s the new number in the group?

Daveed: It’s our new favorite lil lady (Y/N)

Daveed: @ lin ^^

4: I’m firing you from my show

4: Assface

3: Watch the profanity

1: Hi (Y/N)!!!!!!!

2: Hey sweetcheeks ;)

4: Cool it buddy

2: Heeeeeey i’m just playing

5: You guys seriously can’t just talk face to face?!

5: You’re all pathetic. But Chinese food sounds heavenly.

Daveed: What do you want to eat, (Y/N)?

You looked at the screen with an exasperated stare. The group chat had jumped between nearly 10 topics of conversation in seconds. It seemed as though Daveed was giving you no option, so you reluctantly replied.

You: I just wanna go home and take a bath :( u guys are all high maintenance and u wore me out

You: But if i have no choice, i’ll have sweet and sour chicken and pork fried rice

You: Also can u all say who u are? Very confused atm

2: The man of ur dreams ;)

You: Ryan Gosling? Is that you?

2: U suck. It’s Ant

3: This is Leslie

1: Jas!!!!

5: Renee

5: Also pls stop texting?!?!

5: It’s Quiet Uptown is supposed 2 b serious + i can’t think about anything but chinese food

4: Lin :)))))

4: Sorry i had 2 go roast burr real quick

4: I’m back now

4: wAIT SHIT GOTTA GO DIE

You sighed deeply and said goodbye to your peaceful night of relaxation. You could tell you had a long night ahead of you.

[gazzhowie]

My Top 25 Movies of 2016.

Yes, indeed. It’s that time of year again - This year is going to be a lot like last year unfortunately. I’m going to do another blast through a few films that deserve ‘special mention’, then just lay my Top 25 of 2016 out.

No long introduction. No 50 – 26 countdown like previous years. Let’s just bang straight on. Every film mentioned in the preceding paragraphs is well worth seeking out and experiencing whether it be a comedy, documentary, horror, drama, animation or blockbuster. The Top 25 that follows them though is obviously the one’s I regard as absolute must-see’s!

In terms of comedy I seemed to get a great deal more out of Hail, Caesar than most and was genuinely surprised by how hard a ‘cash-in’ sequel like Bad Neighbours 2 actually tried instead of going down the usual route of phoning it beat-by-beat. I liked Sleeping With Other People a great deal and thought Alison Brie gave easily one of the Top Ten best performances of the year. I thought both Goosebumps and Lazer Team were a great deal more fun than they had any right to be, and I thoroughly enjoyed the mixed-tone of The Mermaid though it was a long way off from the majesty of Kung Fu Hustle.

Unlike a lot of people, I seemed to think it was a strong year for documentaries. Two hit my Top 25 in joint position and then there was the horrifying depiction of college rape cover-up in The Hunting Ground which demands to be watched as part of a double-bill with Netflix’s jaw-dropping Audrie & Daisy. Netflix also had a great year in getting Amanda Knox out there which was an engrossing watch but couldn’t help but feel slight. Both The Barkley Marathon: The Race That Eats Its Young and Man VS. Snake (a sort-of sequel to The King of Kong) both finally landed on UK shores and were more than worth the wait. As did Welcome to Leith which was a staggeringly uncomfortable watch that plays out like a found footage horror film – until you remind yourself that it is 100% real. Finally there was Marathon: The Patriot’s Day Bombing which is every bit as moving and upsetting as you would imagine it to be.

Drama-wise, I was very impressed with Lamb and the performances in it. It skirted a line so deftly you don’t know quite whether to slap the label “paedophile drama” on it or whether that is missing the film’s point altogether. Disorder was an extremely solid if unexceptional home invasion type thriller but excels by proving to be one of the most accurate depictions of PTSD captured on film. I liked Room a great deal and was delighted to see the talents of Brie Larson were finally knocked into the stratosphere. As much as it lost its way towards the end, I had a lot of time for John Hillcoat’s Triple 9 which is filled to the brim with talented actors (and Kate Winslet!) doing strong work amidst some truly tense and well-executed set pieces. Ben Wheatley may make uneven movies here and there but he never makes a boring one and High Rise holds true to that. As chase thrillers go, the indie thriller River is well worth a watch just for its unrelenting sense of pace. The heavily maligned and (production) troubled Jane’s Got A Gun turned out not to be the turkey many envisaged and was in fact enormously watchable thanks to strong work from its cast. Norway took on the disaster movie to great B-movie effect with The Wave, Money Monster was a watchable and fun siege-style movie that shouldn’t be taken as importantly as it wants you to. And finally Goat is well worth seeking out. It’s horribly uncomfortable stuff but needs to be seen just for the double-whammy of an excellent Jonas Brothers’ performance AND a tolerable appearance from James Franco.

On the horror front, I was genuinely impressed with both Under the Shadows and The Witch, the final third of both films are ones that still linger and leave me feeling uncomfortable even now, months on. In a year quite barren for old-fashioned ‘creature features’, I sought comfort in and had a great time with the Aussie killer-dog exploitation-er, The Pack. Mike Flanagan absolutely knocked it out of the park with the Netflix exclusive, Hush, and I look forward to seeing it again. I’m normally no fan of the ‘anthology’ movie and there’s certainly a lot of awful ones out there but I was really taken with Southbound and, unlike a lot of those movies, didn’t find a weak link within it. On that note, I’m no fan of the ‘found footage’ movies nowadays but The Good Neighbour proved to be an effective gem that kept me guessing in terms of where it was going and has a typically strong, stoic performance from James Caan. For its first two thirds I was a genuine fan of Lights Out and thought it was on point to secure its place as my favourite horror of the year. Then it floundered into crassness in its final denouement and the film sadly come undone for me.

Animation wise, I liked both Kung Fu Panda 3 and Finding Dory way more than I thought I would given their purpose as ‘cash-grab lazy sequels’. Both found new ways or ideas to light up what should be tired concepts (the former taking a Seven Samurai style ‘train a village to defend a village’ approach and the latter utilising Ed O’Neill’s octopus character to break up the monotony of a beat by beat re-tread). Finally there was Kubo and the Two Strings whose structural issues in its final third were the only things keeping it from an appearance on my final Top 25. It’s a stunningly beautiful piece of work with some tremendously inventive moments (the face-off with the giant skeleton is one of the year’s best sequences!) and I’ll probably become more forgiving of its flaws with further re-watches.

Finally, on the ‘big’ blockbuster-esque front, I enjoyed Jon Faverau’s The Jungle Book a great deal on a technical level but felt flattened by the young lead actor’s VERY ‘stage school-y’ performance. I also thoroughly enjoyed the return of Jason Bourne and feel churlish for grumbling that it is only ‘very good’ instead of an ‘instant classic’ like the first three. It’s all very same-old, same-old in places but it brings out the big pay-off with its Vegas-set car-meggedon finale. I thought Doctor Strange was a tremendous accomplishment in bringing that particular character to the screen and for the most part I got a lot of entertainment from it, but for me Benedict Cumberbatch and that god-awful accent just didn’t work for me. One of the blockbuster surprises of the year was Star Trek Beyond which – bad writing aside (Simon Pegg tends to write very cloth-eared dialogue) – turned out to be relentlessly entertaining and full of gusto in all the ways the inert second movie was not. Possibly the biggest surprise even over that movie though was The Shallows, which was considerably better than it had any right to be. A big, high concept, one location, survival movie with a transfixing performance from Blake Lively, this plummets into the realms of stupidity in its final confrontation but all that goes before it is an absolute B-movie joy! Deadpool was a delight that hopefully blasted the cobwebs off of the comic book movie subgenre with a lead performance from Ryan Reynolds that finally cements his years of being underrated. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story most definitely came good midway into its second act and slowly evolved into one of the best blockbusters of the year, but what went before it was so unnecessarily choppy and uneven that it took a bit too long to settle in for the ride. Netflix’s Siege of Jadotville was a terrifically enthralling Zulu-type true life war movie that far too few seem to have taken the time to check out and far too little are bestowing praise upon. It’s well worth a look. Finally there’s Kill Zone 2, an – in name only – sequel to the Donnie Yen / Sammo Hung martial arts classic. This time Tony Jaa heads up the cast for a head-spinning action extravaganza involving prison kick-offs, organ trafficking, shoot-outs and so much more. It’s a genuinely brilliant blast of action cinema. You don’t have to have seen the first Kill Zone either by the way. They just slapped that sequel title on this unrelated movie.

And now, without further ado, here’s my Top 25 movies of 2016 that - thanks to some blatant cheating on my part - is clearly a Top 27 as I just could not be drawn to pick between the best documentary and the best horror...

25) The Invitation

I went into this sniffily, half paying attention, just so I could rip the terrible guy from Prometheus a new bum-hole and... boy did it start to slowly grip me. Anyone who says they saw the final act coming is a liar. And that final image? One of they year’s most haunting!

24) Victoria

An entire film made up of one take - no cuts - ends up being one of the most enthralling and technically captivating films of the year. It’s lazy to just call it a ‘heist movie’ when it is offering so much more.

23) Keanu

Utterly disrespected on its UK release, this is a must not just for Key & Peele fans but for fans of legitimately funny, laugh-out-loud comedies. This is the sort of film that you see and start passing around amongst your friends as a sort of “You’ve GOT to see this!” secret gift. It’s all the more a must-see in light of George Michael’s death. You’ll see.

22) Tickled / Weiner

I genuinely could not call it between these two documentaries. Both are astounding pieces of work. Tickled takes you from a place of “I ain’t watching no documentary about competitive tickling!” to “Ok, whah! Hold up! What’s going on?” to actual “What. The. Fuck.” And Weiner? Well Weiner is all the more a must-watch in light of revelations that Anthony Weiner could well have inadvertently taken down Hillary Clinton’s campaign for president. It is a total jaw-dropper of a documentary in the sense that you continually question not just how the makers got this level of access but how they were allowed to carry on filming during some of the scenes presented. The McDonald’s scene could well be both the most degrading scene of the year and one of the year’s best action sequences.

21) The Wailing

One part ‘possession’ movie. One part Korean police procedural. Two parts horror movie. And finally one part ‘mystical battle of good and evil’ epic. This is an absolute blast of a film that grabs you extremely early on and holds you tight for its lengthy running time. You never know what’s coming next and that makes the scares - when they drop - all the more strong. Go in knowing as little as possible, and give yourself over to it completely.

20) Zootopia

There was absolutely nothing about this movie (entitled Zootropolis everywhere but the UK, bizarrely) in its marketing that made me think it was something I a) needed to see and b) had not seen done a hundred times before: Cute Disney animals riffing on some well-worn subgenre of cinema to uneven effect. But this was REALLY something different; playing with the police procedural and the beats of the standard buddy movie, this ends up being an excellent lesson in tolerance, racism and persecution. It’s a joy from start to finish.

19) Everybody Wants Some!!

I went into this under a swell of hype because everything Richard Linklater puts his name to seems to get an immediate seal of high quality nowadays. I was really reluctant towards it because I just thought “M’eh. He’s done Dazed & Confused. How good can this actually be?” And you know what? Believe what you hear. It’s a real delight.

18) Arrival

Ignore the trailers that try to sell you this as some sort of Independence Day type movie. Read up on as little about it as you can. Go in completely cold. Give yourself over to it and pay close attention. This movie will get deep into your headspace, warm your heart and change your perception of how the human mind sees and comprehends structure and storytelling for a long time to come.

17) The Revenant

We seem to have thrown the Oscar at Leonardo DiCaprio and pushed this film to the side but in doing so we forget what an absolute tremendous piece of work it is on a visual and technical level. You cannot conceivably discuss the best cinema had to offer this year and not involve this epic revenge ‘poem’ in the conversation.

16) Sausage Party

I really wanted to dislike this. I did. I saw all the reviews and high word-of-mouth and I absolutely thought half the western world was off their fucking rockers, so to speak. But this really is THAT much fun and it absolutely is that hilarious. Not every joke works and when they clunk they thud. Yet there’s more hits than misses - and you’ll not see a better talking food movie about religion and existentialism this year!

15) Hell or High Water

They’ll sell you on this being an ‘all guns blazing’ heist thriller just to get you through the door. But, in reality, this is a thoughtful spin on the ‘greedy banking crisis’ told as a surprisingly elegant modern western. Chris Pine, Ben Foster and Jeff Bridges are all universally excellent. And the final scene is a slow burning, mature reward for your investment. 

14) 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Written off as political propaganda upon its release, this is actually one of Michael Bay’s best movies with a remarkable performance from John Krasinski. It’s a bombastic, relentless, gory, engaging and exhilarating piece of work and I think time is going to be kind to this movie, more than people realise. It’s the best war movie of the year but I think it could go on to be considered one of the best modern war movies of the decade.

13) Bone Tomahawk

Quite possibly the best ever bait-and-switch since Robert Rodriguez took his crime thriller to the ‘Titty Twister’, this is a fabulous assured old-school western with superb turns from Kurt Russell, Richard Jenkins, Patrick Wilson and (yes) Matthew Fox. If you know nothing about this already, go in that way and... well... try to survive! Good luck! 

12) Spotlight

A good old fashioned procedural movie that plays out like the true life dramas of the 1970s - Pull together a great cast, have them go off a great script based on an enthralling real incident, keep the direction clean and unshowy and just sit back and let the results come together as they should. One of the best dramas of the year. Totally deserved of its Oscar, in my opinion.

11) Eddie The Eagle

Absolutely NOTHING about this movie should work in the least. It’s a true life sporting underdog tale where pretty much 95% of the ‘facts’ are unashamedly fictionalised. It’s got a lead performance that you have to warm to because it takes a while to get past the gurning. It’s apparent Hugh Jackman is only there to help the budget... and yet, within the first few beats of the film’s epically retro soundtrack, you are hooked into one of the loveliest and warmest films of the years. It’s very much an explosion of feel-good cinematic hugs.

10) Midnight Special

A father kidnaps his son from the religious cult he’s been held at the centre of and takes him on an obsessive quest to get to a very specific place at a very specific time. That’s all you need to know right there. Seek out nothing else. Head on into a viewing of this with just that information and lie back in the warm embrace of masterful storytelling.

9) The Hateful Eight

Tarantino’s playful homage to both John Carpenter’s The Thing and Agatha Christie’s storytelling of old is a thoroughly impressive piece of work, lauding over its love of its own dialogue, brazen performances and showy directorial flourishes. It’s a ‘guess who’ that - whilst not as clever as it thinks it is - will certainly have you absolutely captivated. The thankfully short appearance from the painful Zoe Bell is the only flaw this otherwise exceptional chamber-piece offers.

8) The Big Short

The true story of the 2008 banking crisis as told by an all-star cast - in the style of a comedic heist movie? With celebrity cameos used as a glossary index? As told by the guy who directed Anchorman? Come on. This should never have worked. This should never have even been considered seriously. And yet, here it is and here it is as one of the best movies of the year. Don’t worry if you leave your first experience of it angry. You’re meant to.

7) Captain America: Civil War

Quite simply, the best blockbuster of the year by a large margin. In amongst the fast-becoming-impenetrable size of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Captain America movies have emerged (especially because of the double whammy of this and The Winter Soldier) as the franchise’s lynch-pin and high bastion of quality. This all-star beatdown should have, by rights, been the clusterfuck that snapped the wheels of the MCU. Instead it is one of the most insanely enjoyable blockbusters of the year and - with that airport sequence - the owner of the best action set-piece of the year! 

6) Hunt For The Wilderpeople

I was desperate to see this because of my adoration for What We Do In The Shadows and it genuinely did not disappoint. It’s funny, moving and really rather lovely with a very subtle but warm performance from Sam Neill that, by rights, should see him nominated for some awards come that particular season.

5) Don’t Breathe / Train to Busan

I couldn’t call it between these two as the best horrors of the year no more than I could between the documentaries. Train to Busan takes the (frankly exhausted) zombie genre, puts it on the tracks and sends it speeding off through a cavalcade of carnage, scares and truly brilliant action sequences. You’ll rip the arms of your chair and scream out loud watching this one. And Don’t Breathe is a truly exceptional reinvention of the home invasion movie in all the ways Busan reinvigorates the zombie movie. Jane Levy and Stephen Lang do work here that should, by rights, get them nominated for a boatload of awards - but sadly won’t because awards councils very rarely respect horror. Yes, it gets a little daft the higher up the dial they turn the tension but that doesn’t undo the fantastic work done here in setting up one of the geographically cleanest and leanest horror films of the year. 

4) Green Room

I love a good siege movie and Jeremy Saulnier most definitely delivers a great one. I was ‘in’ from the outset as I was a huge, huge, huge fan of Saulnier’s Blue Ruin but this more than lives up to expectations. It’s bigger than the ‘punks versus neo-nazis’ longline it hides behind. It is gruelling and gory and exceptionally tense. It is also driven steadfastly by another effortlessly brilliant performance from Anton Yelchin, who died far too young in 2016.

3) Creed

A SEVENTH Rocky movie after the stretch - a lovely stretch, but a stretch none the less - that was Rocky Balboa (aka Rocky VI)? A spin-off about Apollo Creed’s illegitimate son being coached by an aged Rocky? Oh come on! This sounds utterly awful! No better than that dire Rocky VI ‘spec’ script that appeared online in the late 90s with Rocky Jr taking on the son of Ivan Drago. But... But.. BUT, hold up! This film is the real deal. A movie made by die hard Rocky fans for die hard Rocky fans with the actual Rocky up, front and centre giving it his blessing every step of the way. It’s not just a thematic modernisation of the franchise but it is also a pitch perfect spiritual return to the raw, indie-style, rough-and-ready feel of the first classic. Stallone’s Best Supporting Actor nomination was truly deserved. His campaign might have been a little classless but the nomination was earned - if for nothing else that heart-breaking scene in the doctor’s office! 

2) Sing Street

NINE separate people recommended this film to me and I ignored every single one of them. I am not a fan of musicals. I’ve not seen Once. I lasted exactly 10 minutes into Begin Again. I watched the trailer for this, saw the lad from Transformers 4 in a bad wig and just thought “Eurgh! No!” Then a lad who’s opinion I legitimately respect pushed hard for me to give it a go and I threw it on as a 99p iTunes rental one rainy Sunday afternoon and... I was left in tears! It resonated hard with me in a lot of ways from my own childhood, growing up in the 80s. It’s really lovely and special and you can clearly tell that the people behind it are coming from a place of honesty and passion about that era and the music. It’s a fabulous little film and I have no qualms in admitting that I was wrong to pre-judge it.

1) The Nice Guys

I am an obsessive fan of all things Shane Black anyway but this truly was the absolute gift of the year for me. Not only was it a truly fabulous return to the well Black has played around in as director with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and writer with The Last Boy Scout and The Long Kiss Goodnight, it’s a film that will transform your opinion of what Russell Crowe is capable of. Featuring some of the strongest gags of the year, this is a deliberately convoluted shaggy-dog PI tale that slowly mutates from a comedy caper into a genuinely strong shoot ‘em up thriller. I loved it from its opening car crash gag right the way through to its sequel baiting final scene. A sequel that... just like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Last Boy Scout, The Long Kiss Goodnight, etc... we will NEVER GET TO SEE because APPARENTLY NONE OF YOU FUCK TRUMPETS TOOK THE TIME TO SEE THIS!

Rectify that now. “And stuff!”

[newyorktheater]

The calendar for the 74th annual Tony Awards,:

Thursday, April 23rd: Official cut-off for 2019-2020 Tony Eligibility

Tuesday, April 28th: Nominations announced

April 30th: Meet the nominees press reception

May 19th: Nominees luncheon

June 1: Tony Honors reception

June 7: The 74th Annual Tony Awards

—

“As a director I’ve watched thousands of actors audition,” Jeff Zinn writes in Arts Fuse. “You can tell whether or not someone is of interest within the first 60 seconds.” His assessment of the major Democratic presidential candidates in the captions (and the current president in the article):

“Buttigieg is a natural performer in front of the lens. I’m in awe of his ability to respond to seemingly any question with a well thought out, perfectly formulated answer which, though you know he’s said it a hundred times, somehow still has the quality of spontaneity. You can tell he’s thought hard about the issues and has developed a coherent world view, so the words flow easily for him. That ease appeals to voters and is part of the reason he’s been building from the start and is now a legit front runner. His weakness is what you might call his unbearable lightness of being. I’ve noticed that, when it comes to actors taking on roles that are different from themselves, it’s much harder to add weight than to lighten it. So, his small stature and boyish appearance work against him. He does best in intimate settings – on the set of an interview show or in a town hall – but on the debate stage you can sense him trying to “bulk up” and put on a serious face. It doesn’t work. He should just relax and be himself.”

Bernie Sanders “is brilliant. His overriding quality, always, is his passion. He burns with intentionality. When he speaks, the stakes are existential. His shape – the easily caricatured rumple – makes the point that his exterior is irrelevant to the message, which makes the message all the more effective.”

Amy Klobuchar “has a sunny demeanor and her midwestern charm goes a long way toward helping her performance, but I find her tense and tight. I believe it was in the first debate that an unfortunate confluence of nerves and hairspray added up to a twitching of bangs that was disastrously distracting”.

Elizabeth Warren “speaks with passion and her message is strong. But this isn’t about message, it’s about affect. She tends to pivot away from tough questions into well-worn stories and talking points which come off as, well, canned.”

“Mike Bloomberg never seems to be trying very hard to project anything in particular. This is what [acting teacher Patsy] Rodenburg calls “first circle” where, “…the energy you generate falls back into you… You can come across to others as self-centered, uncaring and withdrawn…” I suppose that’s what happens when you’re REALLY rich and don’t much care what others think of you. But we are drawn to charismatic leaders who inspire. Will voters look past that lack of charisma?”

Presidents on stage over the past century.

Benjamin Chapin in “Lincoln,” 1906.

Christopher Jackson as George Washington in Hamilton, 2015

The drunken Virtual Real Estate Tycoon turned Dictator (T. Scott Lilly) is trapped in his own wall, in Theater for the New City’s musical “No Brainer,” which traveled to outdoor stages in all five boroughs last summer.

The current president of the United States has been depicted largely satirically on out-of-the-way New York stages, but nearly every past president has made it to Broadway over the last century, as this photo essay makes clear.

  Broadway Theater Quiz

Ageism on stage – an international issue The international theater journal Critical Stages offers a special issue on ageism and theater, with nine articles in seven different parts of the world, including the U.S.

David Byrne’s American Utopia, which closed on Sunday, will return to Broadway’s Hudson Theater September 18, 2020 through January 17, 2021, with an opening date to be announced. Spike Lee has directed a filmed version of the show, planned for a released sometime in Fall 2020, “in collaboration with the Broadway hit,” whatever that means.

The complete cast for Mrs. Doubtfire, which opens April 5 at the Stephen Sondheim, includes Cameron Adams (My Fair Lady), Akilah Ayanna (Broadway debut), Calvin L. Cooper (Broadway debut), Kaleigh Cronin (Summer: The Donna Summer Musical), Casey Garvin (King Kong), Maria Dalanno (Broadway debut), David Hibbard (Something Rotten!, Cats), KJ Hippensteel (The Book of Mormon), Aaron Kaburick (Hello, Dolly!), Erica Mansfield (Kiss Me, Kate), Brian Martin (Broadway debut), Alexandra Matteo (A Bronx Tale), Sam Middleton (Broadway debut), Doreen Montalvo (On Your Feet), LaQuet Sharnell Pringle (Lysistrata Jones), Jaquez André Sims (King Kong), Lily Tamburo (Broadway debut), Travis Waldschmidt (Kiss Me, Kate) and Aléna Watters (The Cher Show).

They join the previously announced Rob McClure as Daniel Hillard/Euphegenia Doubtfire, Jenn Gambatese as Miranda Hillard, Peter Bartlett as Mr. Jolly, Charity Angél Dawson as Wanda Sellner, Mark Evans as Stuart Dunmire, J. Harrison Ghee as Andre Mayem, Analise Scarpaci as Lydia Hillard, Jake Ryan Flynn as Christopher Hillard, Avery Sell as Natalie Hillard and Brad Oscar as Frank Hillard.

Cassie Levy and Patti Murin end their run in Frozen

Broadway theater goers hit with pepper spray-type irritant at ‘Jagged Little Pill’ matinee

60 Minutes: West Side Story behinds the scenes

How Instagram is shaping the theater industry

Do You Hear the People Sing? , the defiant chorus from the musical Les Misérables, has become a song of protest in Hong Kong and, more recently, mainland China…The authorities have responded to the song’s incendiary impulse by removing it as an individual number and scrubbing it from the soundtrack albums

Rest in Peace

Lynn Cohen 86, well-known actress on screens large (Golda Meir in Munich) and small (Magda in Sex and the City) but a long-time fixture in New York theater, as both performer and theatergoer. I talked to her frequently about shows we happened to see together. This one stings.

The Tony Awards 2020 Calendar. Utopia Returning to Broadway. A Director Assesses The Candidates. #Stageworthy News of the Week The calendar for the 74th annual Tony Awards,: Thursday, April 23rd: Official cut-off for 2019-2020 Tony Eligibility…

[thedudelovesflicks]

Ad Astra Is the Rare Space Movie That Sticks the Landing

James Gray’s astronaut epic manages to tie together Brad Pitt, space monkeys, and a lunar Applebee’s.

By DANA STEVENS

SEPT 18, 20195:38 PM



Brad Pitt as Roy McBride in Ad Astra

Francois Duhamel - © Twentieth Century Fox

When Brad Pitt, as the astronaut Roy McBride, flies to the moon in James Gray’s elegant space epic Ad Astra, he takes Virgin Atlantic. Though the company’s logo looks roughly the same, an onboard blanket-and-pillow pack will, by the time this movie’s undated near-future arrives, cost $125. The moon base where Roy’s commercial flight lands also boasts an Applebee’s, a Subway, and other familiar fixtures of the landscape of 21st-century capitalism. These brand names go uncommented on, mere background details in the dense weave of a story that pairs intense action sequences—we’ll get to the moon-buggy car chase momentarily—with long stretches of near silent cockpit-bound solitude. But the inclusion of those familiar corporate signs gives this sometimes driftingly abstract movie a grounding in the recognizable world, not to mention a welcome dash of humor.

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Many of the auteur-driven space exploration sagas of the past decade–Gravity, First Man, Interstellar, The Martian—have focused on the loneliness of the individual astronaut, cut off from all earthly sources of comfort and meaning and forced to reinvent life from the ground up in a place where there isno ground; where in moral as well as gravitational terms, up is down and down is up. Ryan Gosling’s existentially adrift Neil Armstrong, Sandra Bullock’s solitary survivor of a space station–destroying disaster, Matt Damon’s left-behind scientist sowing his potatoes in the red Mars dirt: All these were movie stars-in-space in the same tradition as Pitt’s Roy McBride, who also supplies a noir-tinged voiceover that’s reminiscent of the older sci-fi classic Blade Runner.The rarefied states of film celebrity and cosmic solitude somehow go naturally hand in hand. The hyper-recognizability of world-famous faces under those globe-shaped helmets is part of what makes their predicament so identifiable: If Brad Pitt can get lost in space, anyone can.

In most of these movies, too, the trip outward is accompanied by an equal and opposite journey within. The protagonists travel distances that are barely comprehensible to the human mind and survive under unimaginable (and probably scientifically impossible) conditions, all in the name of recovering either a lost loved one or the truth about some past relationship. The survival of the planet is a necessary but not sufficient cause to impel them to action. In the case of Ad Astra, the immediate reason for Roy’s trip is the mysterious surges of energy that have been emanating from the vicinity of Neptune, imperiling life on Earth. The planetary death toll from the surges, according to one briefly glimpsed news chyron, is already more than 43,000, a body count that would put many sci-fi blockbusters to shame. But Roy McBride also has unresolved family issues to solve, and it’s made clear from early on that these two problems—Earth’s survival, Roy’s dad stuff—are not fundamentally separable from one another.

The dad in question, H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones), is a legendary scientist and space explorer who disappeared decades ago on a mission so classified that Roy has to take the first leg of his Neptune-bound journey undercover. Donald Sutherland, as an old friend of Clifford now charged with serving as his son’s mentor, provides some sinuous exposition about the possible connection between the elder McBride’s fate and the errant energy bursts now endangering the solar system. But the main purpose of this setup is to get Roy into space as quickly as possible, where he drifts for most of the movie, hurtling past mind-bending cosmic spectacles, ruminating in laconic voiceover, and occasionally battling rabid space baboons.

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I don’t mean to adopt a tone of mockery in describing a movie that, for the bulk of its two-hour-and-two-minute running time, I watched in a state of hypnotized delight. Especially seen in IMAX, Ad Astra, shot by the great Dutch-Swedish cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (who also shot Interstellar), is itself a mind-bending cosmic spectacle. Without using 3-D, the camera seems to give an impression of infinite depth, often returning to long shots that emphasize the tininess of human beings and their creations amid the vast abyss of space. The score, by Max Richter and Lorne Balfe, eschews the symphonic grandeur often associated with space “operas”; instead, this is space chamber music, delicate but ominous, hinting at a melancholic truth that slowly reveals itself to the viewer (and even more slowly, to Roy): No matter how far away from Earth we travel, there’s no escaping our own human problems, limitations, and weaknesses.

The preternaturally hot face and body of Brad Pitt might seem like a strange vehicle for these ruminations on human frailty. But Pitt’s very beauty, along with his on-screen history as an ideal of manly invulnerability (just think of him earlier this summer, sauntering his way through Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) make him an ideal blank canvas for Gray’s exploration of masculinity as a culturally approved form of pathology. As part of his ongoing mental and physical fitness testing, Roy must submit to periodic psychological evaluations. After affixing a patch to his neck to measure his vital signs—Roy is such a cool customer, he’s known for never having his pulse go above 80 beats per minute—he answers computerized questions about his emotional state. Tellingly, it’s when his responses grow most truthful and vulnerable that the test is marked as a “fail” and his fitness to serve is questioned by his superiors. The sickness of patriarchy, Ad Astrasuggests, lies not only within individual men: It’s built into a system that values humans insofar as they can act and react like machines.

As for women, like many a space exploration saga, Ad Astra treats them for the most part as futuristic sailors’ wives, patiently holding down the fort while the menfolk push at the edges of the known cosmos. The movie’s only recurring female character is Roy’s symbolically named wife Eve (Liv Tyler), who, as we see in mainly wordless flashbacks, has just left him, fed up with his emotion-swallowing ways. Ruth Negga appears in two scenes as commander of the Mars base where Roy stops before the final leg of his trip; when we first see her she is denied entry, by a man, into a part of the base that’s off-limits even to her. And inexplicably but amusingly, Natasha Lyonne, with curls untamed and New York accent intact, shows up in a single scene as a kind of gate agent at the Mars base launchpad. I would happily watch an Ad Astra prequel about that character, who must surely have arrived at her job via a trajectory at least as interesting as Roy’s.

Though Ad Astra spends most of its running time in a state of stargazing introspection, when Gray does film an action set piece, he stages it with originality and kinetic panache. That moon-buggy chase, with space pirates ambushing a fleet of U.S. Air Force vehicles along the lip of a crater, is like something out of Mad Max: Fury Road, but with 17 percent of the gravity. The many zero-G flight scenes, including an ingeniously staged floating fistfight, were all accomplished practically, with actors suspended on wires rather than rendered weightless through CGI, and the effect is enormously convincing.

But the confrontation the movie builds toward, as Roy’s journey takes him ever closer to the father who’s spent a lifetime getting as far from humanity as possible, is the opposite of a superhero-style apotheosis. “I will not rely on anyone or anything,” Roy repeats to himself early in the movie, both as a personal mantra and a professional vow. “I will not be vulnerable to mistakes.” It’s the slow and painful abandonment of that cult of self-sufficiency that makes the final scenes so moving, and that brings the soaring abstractions of Ad Astra back down, beautifully, to earth.