#Raph and leo have their arguments. But it feels natural like regular brothers

[familyofpaladins]

Watched Batman vs the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles again (because I can) and like. I honestly think it might be my favorite iteration of the turtles.

It's like this perfect combo of dark/serious and absolute hilariousness

And it manages to develop their characters so much despite the movie not even being 90minutes long and half of it is focused on Batman

I just adore it

[fire-fira]

Something I feel like a doofus for not realizing--

So I headcanon the turtles as quadruplets. It’s just the way I’ve always seen them, regardless of whatever varying canon. Of course they have their birth order from oldest to youngest (which I’m comfortable with the idea of it varying depending on the reality), but I came to the realization earlier today that I have been criminally not thinking through the full effects of them being quadruplets.

I HAVE BEEN IGNORANT TO THE POSSIBILITIES.

SO--

The standard arguments over who’s oldest.

Naturally-- in most cases-- Leo’s the oldest.

- So of course Leo pulls the “I don’t even know why we’re arguing about this” card.

- “But you could easily not be the oldest.” Donnie has to get his two cents in.

- “That’s ridiculous. We already know I’m oldest. Why is this even an issue?”

- “Ohohooo, Fearless doesn’t wanna admit he might not be the oldest!” Raph please.

- “...I’m done with this conversation.”

- “Leeeeooooo. Leeeeeoooo~. What if you’re younger than me Leeeeoooo~?” Leo knows everything’s going sideways when Mikey decides to get in on it since he’s the one who usually insists he’s youngest.

- “There’s no way I’m younger than you Mikey. I’m older than you. I’m sure even Raph is older than you, and he could be the youngest.”

- Donnie’s just, “...That didn’t even make sense.”

- “I’m still the oldest. Let’s just leave it at that.”

- Raph scoffing, “What, by two minutes? Doesn’t count.”

- “Still oldest.”

- The conversation doesn’t happen often, but when it does it can go on for a while.

Bouts of blaming things they each did on the others.

- “You thought it was me? I didn’t do that. It was Raph.”

- “Mikey, I saw you.”

- “Are you sure April? We are quadruplets y’know.”

- “You’re not identical! None of you are even twins by regular turtle standards.”

- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how ‘not me’ and ‘it must have been one of the other three turtles who look exactly like me’ the whole situation is.”

- “You don’t even have the same scale-tone.”

- “Quaaaaad-ruuuu-pleeeeets~.”

“Donnie, did ya steal my elbow pads?”

- “Raph, why would I steal your elbow pads?”

- “’Cause they’re th’ same size as yours.”

- “Wh- No they’re not. We’re not even close to the same size.”

- “Sure we are.”

- “No we’re-- whatever. Check with Leo or Mikey. They’re closer to your size anyway.”

- “...Are you callin’ me fat?”

- “No. Just-- Raph no. You’re just bigger than I am.”

- “We’re quadruplets Donnie. For fuck’s sake. There ain’t that much of a size-difference.”

- “Will you get out of my lab already?!”

- It turns out Leo had Raph’s elbow pads all along.

Despite moments like the previous point, Donnie trying to get out of things so he can work on his projects by asking one of his brothers to substitute for him.

- Leo: “...You know this isn’t going to work, right?”

- “It will with the right amount of reptile-safe spray-tan.”

- “...I’m not even going to ask why you made that a thing.”

- Raph: “No offense Don, but I’m pretty sure th’ accent’s gonna give me away.”

- “So just don’t talk.”

- “...And the different shade o’ green.”

- “...I’ll come up with something.”

- “You are not bleachin’ my scales or whatever.”

- “I’d never ask you to do something that dangerous.”

- “Sure ya would, when it involves blowin’ stuff up.”

- “...When it involves blowing stuff up. Try wearing a trench coat and sticking to the shadows while not talking. Maybe fake laryngitis.”

- “Y’know, this’d be a lot easier if ya’d just go yourself.”

- “Nope. Projects. Coffee. Be my stand-in or I’ll tell Mikey to steal your gear again.”

- “It was Leo last time, genius.”

- Donnie grinning. “Are you sure?”

- “I think I know how ta tell our brothers apart Brainiac.”

- “But we’re quadruplets. We’re almost identical.”

- “You break that out when it benefits you, but ya deny it otherwise? That’s rude Don. That’s just cruel.”

- Mikey: “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

- “Sure I’m sure. If you have to, start talking about the theoretical physics of superheroes and Star Trek. No one will ever know.”

- “...Donnie, you’re a genius.”

- Smiling. “I have my moments.”

Moments of Mikey shrieking, “You can’t hate me! I’m the baby! I’m the youngest!”

- “BY FIVE SECONDS!”

- “Now see, we don’t even know if it’s by seconds, minutes, or hou- aaaaaAAAAAAHHH!” Crash, thud, thump.

- “...Leo, is Mikey okay?”

- “I wouldn’t worry April. This happens on a pretty regular basis.”

- Crash, clatter, shriek. “Donniiieee, save me! As the best big brother ever, saaaave meeeee~!”

- Donnie sipping at his coffee, “Hm? What was that? I think I hear the sound of ‘We’re quadruplets, our birth order doesn’t matter, so Raph won’t kill you if he wants to stay second-oldest, and therefore Donnie doesn’t have to save you from anything’.”

- “Birth order ain’t ranking Don!”

- “I will find a way.”

- Mikey perking up. “Did you just paraphrase Jurassic Park?”

- “Maybe.”

- “DO-DO-DOOT-DOOT-DOOT~ DO-DO-DOOT-DOOT-DOOT~”

- “Mikey, I swear ta god, if you don’t stop singin’ that song like that-”

- “But the Jurassic Park theme is iconic! And I’m the baaaabyyyyy~!”

- “By only three damn seconds!”

- “Hey! You can’t change how long it was between us! I call foul!”

- Leo shaking his head. “And this is why I’m not concerned.”

“Hey Donnie, d’you know where I can find the medical tape?”

- “Ask my older brother.”

- “...Which one?”

- “I have more than one?”

- “Donnie... What the shit.”

- “In answer to your question Casey, Leo’s on probation.”

- “...How the hell does someone end up bein’ ‘on probation’ from bein’ the oldest?”

- “By breaking my coffee-maker.”

- “Oh.”

- “At this rate, Mikey might even be vying for the title.”

- “...I don’t think that’s how that works.”

- “I’ve been without coffee for a full day. I’ll make it work if I have to.”

Not to mention the bouts from Splinter (that would happen anyway) of--

- “Ra-Mi-Le-Donatello!”

- “Le-Mi-Don-Raphael!”

- “Don-Le-Ra-Michelangelo!”

- “Ra-Don-Mi-Leonardo!”

- (Anyone who has siblings, you know it’s true.)

At least several instances of one of them (probably most likely Donnie or Mikey) getting the four of them matching things with their specific colors-- blankets, coats, cups, whatever.

- The one time Leo did it (without actually being serious) he committed the heinous crime of getting them matching oversized ugly x-mas sweaters.

- Because they “looked warm”.

- Raph banned Leo from getting them matching anything for a year. His is stuffed somewhere in a closet or drawer in his room never to see the light of day if he has any say over it.

- Mikey insisted on wearing his proudly.

- Donnie kept his for use in the cold months, but otherwise denies its existence.

“Raph, why is Mikey sitting on your shoulders?”

- “‘Cause he likes ta feel tall. That a crime Fearless?”

- “We’re all the same height.”

- “No we’re not!”

- “Mikey... You were trying to argue that we’re identical just yesterday.”

- “Pffft. That was then, this is now. And Raph’s tallest.”

- From the direction of Donnie’s lab. “I told you that you’re bigger than me!”

- “Damn it Don, no I’m not.”

- “You can’t have it both ways!”

- “Tell that ta Mikey!”

- “But we caaaan have it both ways~! Because we’re quaaadruuupleeeets~.”

- “...Mikey, that makes no sense. Raph, please put Mikey down.”

- “He can do what he wants.”

- “As the oldest I’m saying put him down. Mikey, get off.”

- “Pffft. Older by ten seconds maybe.”

- “Raph. If you trip and the two of you get hurt, I’m not responsible for either of you.”

- “He’s not gonna trip.”

- “Oh really? And why is that?”

- “Quadruplet magic.”

- “Oh for the love of- Mikey. Please. Just get down.”

- “Uh-oh, Raph. Leo can’t handle the younger brother awesomeness.”

- “...We should go get Donnie in on this.”

- “YEEEESSSSS!”

- “Oh my god NO. Donnie! Don’t listen to them!”

(I find it hilarious how 2003 keeps invading as my base reality to work from.)

lol I’m tempted to keep going, but this is already ridiculously long as is. (Please feel free to add more if you have ideas.)