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larsthefishoil · 4 years

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Running in Circles

In hindsight he should have seen this coming. The icy wind tore at his eyes and falling snow prickled his skin as he fell. It was too much like last time. But that was what they said insanity was right? Being doomed to run in circles and repeat mistakes over and over again. He hoped it wouldn’t be a full rehash of the last story. He was certainly thrashing around less this time. Wishing he wouldn’t wake to see blood staining the clean snow as he was dragged on. But no, he was just falling for now.

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“Sir, with all do respect this is dumb. I think this mission is dumb and your choice in my partner is dumber. I-”

“What makes you think I give a shit Wilson?” Maria demanded “It’s not my fault you two work so well, and besides it’s just a simple shipment run, get in, get out, I don’t know why you're complaining.” Hill leaned forward over the table with spread palms and a no bullshit pull in her eyebrow. “Just take back what Hydra stole from us and we won’t assign you two together for a whole week alright?”

At that Bucky turned his head up to meet Sam’s eyes, they both knew Hill was bullshiting them again. They always made a fuss about being forced partners, but if Bucky was being honest with himself, they made a not awful team.

Maria briefed them with the rest of the plan, Sam would fly in from the vantage point, and drop Bucky off on top of the train before it passed under the mountain. From there, the two would sneak inside and take control of the train from the inside, and bring it to a stop. Later S.H.I.E.L.D would pick them up with the stolen tech.

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“I don’t like this one...”

“You never like missions in the cold Buckster, HA! See how well I know you? And you say I don’t listen.” Sam mumbled to himself the last part but the nickname didn’t fly over Bucky’s head by a long shot.

Bucky grit his teeth to think of a comeback and to bite away the cold. The cliff was both full of snow banks and ice depending on where you stepped. Which resulted in Sam hovering above the ground on the way up and using Bucky as a tester of when and where to step. “I don’t know Sammy,” Bucky bit back “I just don’t prefer to spend my free time in stupid ass climates.” He smiled wide and toothy at Sam squishing his eyes closed in fake excitement before pulling a deadpan look.

“Really, Sammy?”

“What? Do you want me to go with bird-y?”

“I will-”

“I see it.” Bucky started shoving his hand over Sam’s mouth going all business. He pulled the binoculares to his eyes to see the train rounding a dip in the mountain. “All right I gotta get ready to hall your lard-ass over there.” Sam started and he jumped up and started kicking his legs out to warm them up. Bucky glared up at him before going back to the train. “Are we ready yet?” Sam asked as he hopped up and down and started up his wing’s jets. Bucky shook his head “Just a few more seconds,” he said and held out his hand for good measure. “Welp, I am-” Sam started before he dove at Bucky who could only manage a helpless yelp before he was pounced on and was dragged off into the bitter cold air.

Riding with Sam holding him was the most awkward thing. Wrapping his thighs over Sam’s was way too much, and a piggyback ride may not be that bad, but the falcon wings made it impossible. And bridle style was just too ridiculous no matter how much Sam tried to convince Bucky he wouldn’t look like a moron in the air. So they came up with the solution that both kept their dignity and was efficient. Sam would always hook his arms around Bucky’s arm pits and hall him around that way. It was still awkward though.

They flew over and landed pretty safely on the train. Bucky pulled out his guns and watched from all sides as Sam picked the lock to get inside before they were hit by the mountain-tunnel.

Suddenly everything started happening at once. A trapdoor behind Bucky flapped open, and H.Y.D.R.A agents started pouring out, only for the same thing to happen on their front.

“It’s fine, this is fine!” Bucky could hear Sam yell over the wind. Sam pulled their trapdoor open only for H.Y.D.R.A agents from inside to start shooting at them. “It’s still fine! I can fix this!” Sam started again shutting the door.

This isn’t right Bucky thought. There shouldn’t be this much resistance from the intal they got. He could feel the vibration of boots stomping about behind him trying to catch their balance. Bucky let out a breath figuring Sam’s tactic of saying something was fine until it was, was just going to have to do. He turned to his six, taking a few steps, and jammes his heel in an agent's stomach. The agent fell forward before losing his balance and tumbling off. He could feel the dread creeping in on himself hating the fate that awaited the falling soul, but continued to move on. Distantly Bucky knew Sam was firing shots, taking the agents down as fast as he was. But the old memories kept creeping through, making everything feel distant even if it was just in front of him. He then heard a “NO!” be halard before Bucky could register why. He was falling. Again.

Bucky remembered flailing so much the first go around. That maybe if he wished it enough, Steve would be able to suddenly fly and catch him before he smacked against the ground. He blacked out before he hit the ground. Distantly Bucky wondered what would unfold this time. The train was gone, now it was just white. Bucky closed his eyes and let himself fall.

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“So… what are you doing after this?” Sam asked slowly. Bucky looked up to see Sam avoiding eye contact as he finished tying his boots, and gave the man a quizzing look. Sam was absent mindedly scuffing his boot at the dirty cemented locker room floor.

“I have no idea, what I always do I guess…why? ” Sam then had a weird look on his face with something wholly unlike him- loneliness, and uncertainty. It didn’t fit him all that well but Bucky was set on not caring about the prick.

“Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to help me grocery shop.”

“Wison, if you are in such dire need of friends you need to come to me, I- Should I be worried? Really who grocery shops on a Tuesday night?” he exclaimed as he placed his hands on his knees and stood up from the wooden bench. Bucky was about to go on before Sam cut him off

“I gotta buy a slice a cake for my partner.” He sped out, arms stiff and his sides and spine a steel rod. oh. yeah. the dead one. Bucky remembered Steve talking about that guy. How he reminded Steve of the two of them. Fine. He’ll indulge, but only for Steve.

“Uh sure, I don’t have anything going on, yeah okay.” There was a beat of silence between the two men before they walked for the S.H.I.E.L.D HQ in silence. No quips or bickering, just staying quiet leaving space for the sad and mourning.

The nearest grocery store was a quiet mile long walk out in the quiet of upper New York. The air was dry but heavy, with fireflies floating around them. The sidewalk was old and cracked, and Bucky tried to not step on the cracks like he used to do as a kid to pass the time. All the while Sam was uncharacteristically quiet. Bucky knew he got like this, a certain Marvin Gaye song would come on and he would stop singing along for once, he would sit down and stare into space until the song ended. Or when the two would get along for once, laughing at a joke until their stomachs hurt. Afterwards Sam would get that same lost and lonely look. Bucky often couldn’t care enough to ask, though lately it was getting harder to.

As they walked into the store, the few people who were there continued their wandering, either not caring that two Avengers just walked in or not knowing who they were entirely. Sam asked one of the workers where the bakery was and made a beeline for it. Bucky followed further behind not wanting to get in the way. Sam quickly picked up a slice of cake enclosed in a plastic container about to leave for checkout, when he stopped at another slice sitting on display. Bucky leaned over to see what Sam was looking at and found a cute slice decorated with icing flowers.

Bucky cleared his throat carefully ��What’s with the flower one? Do ya want it?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly not used to being the one with the higher word count out of the two of them.

“Na it’s just… Uh Riley hated flowers. Before we got shipped out, he went on a date with his girl and bought her these really expensive flowers. She broke up with him that night and he blamed it all on the flowers vowing to never spend that much on a girl that wasn’t his wife yet.”

“Then get him that one, it’s more meaningful than basic vanilla.” Sam sucked in a breath, threw his nose and looked up at the ceiling, no doubt willing tears away. “Or not...”

“No I’m-I’ll get that one.” Sam put the first one back and picked up the flower cake. They went to checkout right as the store was announcing it’s soon to be closing time. The two found a nice patch of sidewalk just outside of the grocery store by a tree and sat down, and with the two forks Sam snatched from the bakery area, they ate the cake. The longer they sat there the more Sam was inclined to talk. “Riley hated the smell of ginger, the taste too I guess. But who does like the taste of ginger really.” Soon half the cake was gone. “ Riley was in love with all the Kardasians, he only ever told me that he watched the show whenever he could.” Even later, only the icing flower remained. “Riley loved the color cyan, but no one ever knew what that was so he just always said green.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“How… How did you lose him?”

“He fell.” Bucky looked over at Sam at that. All this time he hadn’t really realized how crazy similar the four of them were. Sam, the new Captain America had lost his best friend the same way the first one had. Running in circles. Bucky thought.

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s not your fault.” At that Sam stuck his fork next to the icing flower and looked up at the sky again letting the tears fall this time. “All those missions and he just fell, I couldn’t catch him in time… nearly died myself. And after was… Well I got sent back home, and I had to keep helping so I started doing group therapies. Then I met Steve years later and…”

“You two shared a similar story?” Sam huffed a laugh

“Yeah we did.” The two looked at each other and smiled in comfort.

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Cold. White. Snow. The mission. Bucky opened his eyes and he was falling. A dark spot appeared in his vision. It was yelling on the top of it’s longs. Sam.

Suddenly Bucky’s hand was grabbed and yanked up with a concerning pop against the force of falling. Sam was still yelling, but to push against gravity this time, and Bucky was pretty sure he had a dislocated shoulder now. He lifted them up to the middle of the gap between the two mountains and pulled Bucky close to him fully wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist. Bucky let his dislocated arm dangle and wrapped his right arm around Sam, his hand gripping his saviour’s neck, and knocked their heads together. They stayed there laughing deliriously and relieved, the train long gone along with the mission.

Sam was still breathing in heavily when he said,”I caught you.” Bucky could feel his breath puff hot against his cheeks.

“Yeah, you did man.” Bucky knocked his nose against Sam’s with his eyes still closed and slid his arm up to attach himself more to Sam.One foot was perched on top of Sam’s and the other wrapped around his leg.”Wanna get us away from the icy trench?”

“Oh shit, yeah,” With that Sam parted from Bucky to look down to the snowy depths, the weirdly clingy moment snapped in two with the comment. He then flew them to their earlier steak-out spot and plopped down exhausted in the snow. They laid there for what felt like hours, their comms down and sky going dark. Their hands were still laced together when Maria and Sharen showed up in a S.H.I.E.L.D helicopter.

A/N Alright I’m done! I feel like I did alright and that they seemed in character. Crotiques are fully invited and apperciated:)

As people might realize, they didn’t kiss and shit, and I went with that cause most of the time with slow burns, aspeshaly with friends to lovers, it’s like a spring that gets squished until the characters are just Boom! Going out and are all cuddly and fully adjusted to making out and being romantic. Which is fine, and my lonely single heart soaks that shit up like a sponge, but I want to explore a side of romance that isn’t so rushed to put the “going out” label on it. And I feel like this applies to Sam and Bucky really well, but when people are writing fanfics they rush to the romance cause that’s what it's there for. So! Just another side to see, and if I end up posting this and people want more, I will try to add more stuff if I can think of it.

I also put some characterization for Riley cause i realized that he kinda just acts as a bad frigid girlfriend for Sam, so he now has three fun facts lmao.

#sambucky fic #sambucky #marvel #slow burn #begrudgingly friends to lovers #no beta we fall like bucky the first time #tfatws #bucky barnes #sam wilson

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