“If my family life were a happy one and I were content with my marriage, the feelings would have become less intense. My children would have become adults. So many years have already passed... I could have devoted myself to great deeds. Maybe I could have discovered the Law of Conversation like Mikhail Vasilyevich Lomonosov, or I could have written a philosophical novel like Monsieur Voltarie. But I can only think about him. He loves war more than me.”