#SFT 001-050

[stick-zac]

Something from today #001 - #050

Something from today #050 Friend: I got a problem Me: If you’ve got problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but yours ain’t one HIT ME *Pretends to throw on shades*

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Something from today #049 Brother: *Didn’t get the final killcam, then turns to me* WHat are you looking at!? Me: I’m not looking at you being the final killcam Brother: … Me: OHHHHHHHHHH BUUUUUURN

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Something from today #048 Me: How old are you? Friend: 17 Me: Geez you’re older than me (I’m currently 16 at the time) Friend: Yeah I am Me: *In an old man’s voice* Back in my days we didn’t disrespect others

Me: Are you going to take your SunKist out? Brother: You going to leave? Me: *Throws an Orange Prima at the empty SunKist can* Brother: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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Something from today #047 Friend: You f*cking suck Me: Yeah well uhh (I can’t swear) you’re a doodoo head! Huh? Take that Friend: … Me: Yeah!

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Something from today #046 *me and a guy talking, then he goes to the bathroom* Friend: Do you know that guy? Me: Not really, don’t really think we’ll get along -A couple minutes later- Me and (Now new friend) guy: TODAY I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING! I JUST WANNA LAY IN MY BED! DON’T FEEL LIKE PICKING UP MY PHONE SO LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE TONE*

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Something from today #45 * Me and my friend are the only two at homework club* Teacher: Well I guess you two get all the sandwiches Me: LET THE FEAST BEGIN!

Friend: *accidently plays a frozen song* Me: Dude, let it go Other friend: -_- really? Me: :D

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Something from today #044 *Me and my brother walking home after buying Hungry Jacks. My brother is carrying some drinks* Brother: Okay, careful now… Me: KNOCK KNOCK TRIGGERS!!!! Brother: Ahhhhhh!!! Me: What?

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Something from today #043 *Me and my brother in an argument* Bro: At least I’m not you Me: yeah, I’m not ugly Brother: … Me: Oooooooo ow that… epic… burn… I’m too awesome for my own good

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Something from today #042 Mum: *Screaming at me* I can’t believe I get home and see all this mess while you’re doing nothing at… Me: I cleaned the dishes Mum: Oh I love you, you’re the greatest ever

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Something from today #041 Brother: Can you hand me my pillow Me: *Prepares to throw it* Brother: Why are you throwing it? Me: I thought you wanted me to go long and throw it Brother: -_-

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Something from today #040 *Holding the door open for 2 friends* Me: Come on, hurry the fu… Teacher: *Makes a surprised happy face*

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Something from today #039 Me: I have a bad feeling, like someone took my heart, injected poison and then smashed it to the floor before pouring it back into me Friend: … Me: :D

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Something from today #038 Mum: Come inside before you get killed Me: By who? Mum: By uhh Jason Derulo

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Something from today #037 *Me and friend talking about exams* Friend: I’m going to get a 50% Me: I’m sure you’re going to get 80% Friend: I wasn’t present for the lesson Me: 75% Friend: I haven’t studied Me: 70% Friend: My boyfriend sent me some notes and I haven’t looked at it Me: 65% Friend: And I haven’t talked to anyone about what I missed Me: 60% Friend: And I was playing games all night Me: 55% Friend: And I didn’t look at the book yet Me: Yeah… 50%

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Something from today #036 Student: Can I go to the toilet? Me: It’s actually may I go to the toilet *Quickly runs like heck to get away from his death stare*

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Something from today #035 Friend: I’m going to prepare to fail, I’m going to get a 0 Me: Don’t say that! You’re going to fail with at least 25% Friend: Yeah you’re right

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Something from today #034 *Me and my friend are playing Minecraft* Friend: I found some coal Me: How coal of you Friend: Yeah I… Oh wait… Ohhhhhhhhhhh that was just oooooohhhhhhhh Me: Hehe, works everytime

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Something from today #033 Friend: How’d you go on the exam? Me: Think I got a solid 50%

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Something from today #032 *I noticed my friend is sitting on the ground so I decide to indicate some friendly humor* Me: Here you go *Hands him 5 cents* *Friend and his girlfriend procced to look at the 5 cents before realizing what I did* Me: I’m kidding *takes back 5 cents and procceds to give him a 50 cent piece* Friend: Well screw you *throws a rolled up plastic bag at me* Me: Fine then, punk! *Later realises how wrong I was*

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Something from today #031 *I’m riding the bus and notice my friend is walking, so I get off and join her on her walk* -10 Minutes Later- *We’re currently discussing how I’m not a stalker* Me: I mean sure you might see me in a tree, or behind a bush or getting off a stop 50 feet from you but doesn’t I’m going to act on it

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Something from today #030 Friend: I might be moving to a different school Me: Why? Friend: I don’t like this one Me: But what about your friends? Who else is going to make very racist jokes and judge you? Friend: True indeed *All other friends nod in agreement*

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Something from today #029 Me: One time at camp, it was so strict that if we brought in lollies we would get sent back Brother: What happened? Me: Me and some friends brought some lollies but word got out and we were almost sent back but we didn’t due to lack of evidence ;)

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Something from today #028 *Teacher hands me a jelly snake then gives one to everyone in class and comes back to me* Teacher: You haven’t got one right? Me: Actually I… Teacher: You DIDN’T get one Me: Yeah… *Takes 2 more*

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Something from today #027 *Me and my brother talking about Michael Rooker* Brother: He always plays a redneck Me: Not always Brother: When? Me: Guardians of the galaxy, he plays a blue neck *Brother proceeds to show his disappointment over my horrible joke and refuses to speak to me for the rest of the night*

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Something from today #026 Friend: *Grabs my Blazer which has padded shoulders* You don’t have bulky shoulders Me: *Grabs him back* Other friend: You squeezed it hard it came out Other other friend: That’s what she said *Me, Other friend, Other other friend and friend start bursting into laughter*

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Something from today #025 Me: Sir, do you know where we are going? Teacher: I’m the teacher! Of course I don’t know where I’m going

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Something from today #024 Friend: You should probably study Me: *Starts bursting into laughter and rolling on the ground, literally) Friend: …F*ck you

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Something from today #023 *Me and my dad are setting up a play tent for my little sister* Dad: This is easy, I should be a rocket engineer

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Something from today #022 Me: I’m going on a diet Friend: *Points to my cupcake I’m currently eating* Me: … Shut up…

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Something from today #021 Me: *Waiting at a bus stop* Friend: *In a speeding car* ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……. Me: o_o

-later that day-

Friend: I should be more CARful when screaming your name Me: All that for a pun? If so that was frickin amazing!

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Something from today #020 Me: Yeah I’m not going to remember any of this because my brain is jello right now so I need feedback Friend: I love your use of words by the way

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Something from today #019 *Me and teacher say something at the same time and I chime in Jinks* Teacher: *Picks up my Coke bottle filled with water* Here you go Me: -_-

*Gets down to pick up something and makes grunting noises* Friend: You alright? Me: I’m told old for this Friend: You’re 17

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Something from today #018 *Someone makes a pun* Me: I’m so proud *wipes tears*

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Something from today #017 Me: You beach Friend: Never trust unlicensed puns, always check they’re offishal Me: WOuldn’t want to keep anyone out, that would be shellfish Friend: That really brought me down a step Me: Don’t harbour a grudge Friend: Are you shore that’s a good idea? Me: Turtally Friend: Tha’s shallow of you Me: I know, I reefly let myself go Friend: That pun was awful, krill yourself Me: You’re just jellyous Friend: Water you talking about? Me: You’ll sea what I mean Friend: Shell I stop now? Me: Yeah let’s just fin ish off now Friend: That was a pacific demand Me: I know, that was a pretty crabby demand Friend: Are you tide of these puns yet? Me: No, it’s just that pun was below sea level Friend: You’re taking a whale to answer. I sea. Reefly? Becoral I understand that after a whale they get annoying Me: They’re, but only BREEFly Friend: I shell leave now, Talk tomurray Me: I’ll be here currently for the meantime

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Something from today #016 *Riding with a friend and his mum* Me: Have you ever Googled yourself? Friend: Yeah, I typed in my name… Friends Mum: And nothing came up Me and Friends Mum: Ohhhhh Burnt Son!

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Something from today #015 (Important to note, one of my signature looks for school is my blazer, so one day I take it off) Friend: Oh my god! You! What happened to your blazer!?

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Something from today #014 Me: What happens when a Frog parks illegally? Friend: What? Me and Friend: He gets TOAD Friend: *Laughs* Me: Hahahahhheeeeeeeeeeeelllll

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Something from today #013 Me: *Eating a cupcake* Friend: *Makes a pun* Me: *Says motherf*cker whilst choking on a cupcake*

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Something from today #012 *In class* Student: What is the answer for question D? Me: Oh, you want the D? Friend looks at me: *Does the ‘Ohhh nice one’ look Student: -_-

*Me holding a book with a Lama and a Tree on the cover* Friend: What’s that? Me: It’s a Lama (referring to the animal) Friend: No I meant what is it? Me: It’s probably Oak (referring to the tree) Friend: -_- I’m done

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Something from today #009, #010 and #011 Me: *Talking with friend* Friend: And I’ve still got more to do Me: So speaking about making promises and not fulfilling them, how’s your animation coming along? Friend: *Starts laughing*

Me: *Walking and eating a banana* Guy 1: Nice banana Guy 2: Yeah I love bana… Oh wait *Proceeds to walk away embarrassed* Me: Hey man, I’m not judging you

Me: *Does a well time Yo Mama Joke* Me: Man, you’re so burnt I can light my cigarette on you Me: *Imitates lighting a cigarette* Friend: *Chuckles*

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Something from today #010 Friend: *Points out I dropped my Pin* Me: C*ck-sucking motherf*cker! Friend: *Makes a horrified face* Me: I played Surgeon Simulator recently…

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Something from today #009 Me: *Just finished BioShock Infinite* Booker is very IRRATIONAL, haha… Anyone…

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Something from today #008 Me: *Gives a girl a lollipop* This is for you, because you’re so sweet ;) Girl: See, that is how you flirt! Girl’s boyfriend: *Distracted by his own thing and could give a banana-scented-sh*t about what I did*

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Something from today #007 Me: Alcoholism isn’t the answer, it’s a problem… and solution *Does the “Aeeeee” look to my friend* Friend: *Does the “Aeeeee” back to me*

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Something from today #006 Friend: Oh yeah well I’m with *Insert phone company to avoid naming and receiving hate* Cameron: Ohhh Me: Look we got a sad ass over here *Me and Cameron continue to laugh for a solid 20 minutes*

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Something from today #005 Me: Hey Cameron Cameron: He- Wait!? How fast did you get up here Me: Why does everyone confuse me walking to places as supernatural speed Cameron: You got some supernatural stuff happening

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Something from today #004 Me: Am I right Girl: No, you’re not *Another girl appears* Me: I’m right, right? Girl: No! Don’t agree with him Other girl: Uhhh maybe *Guy appears* Me: I’m right? Guy: Yes he is, you are always right

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Something from today #003 Me: *Playing FNAF 3* *Gets jumped by Springtrap* Me: You M************** spring-loaded ****

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Something from today #002 Teacher: *Looking at Girl’s photo* This is a really nice photo Me: Which one? Teacher: This one Me: That is like 50, not exactly narrowing it down Girl: *Covers face in how smooth I am*

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Official Something from today #001 Me: Okay I gotta go to the kitchen to get something Brother: Okay *I leave and get 10 steps before realising my room now has a lock and my brother is going to lock me out. So I make a mad dash back and stop the door right before it closes* Brother: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! That was some Five Nights at Freddy’s shit right there! Me: You just got Foxy the Pirate Foxed you bastard!

@jlukeayy @infinityonmeme