#SHE IS A GODDAMN MILLIONAIRE SHE CAN LIVE IN FUCKING HLLYWOOD

[samtheflamingomain]

can i bitch abt the monarchy now?

If you are a citizen of the United Kingdom, I have a question for you.

Did you queue for 8h to mourn a fake figurehead's passing? Or do you live a normal life?

I'm not kidding. Unless you are DIRECTLY and PERSONALLY related to Queen Elizabeth, you do not have to mourn her. Just because she got a special title doesn't make her more or less important than fucking Kylie Jenner. Please try to conjure your own thoughts.

If I'm being harsh, seeing you sob over a 96yo woman is the dictionary definition of cringe. Please just Google "Stockholm Syndrome".

I caught some shit when Prince Harry and Megan were shopping around for tax havens homes to relocate to from the UK. While millions of actually needing people were rejected from refugee status in Canada, they just decided to claim some land Just In Case But yeah. Let's suck them off as much as we can for making the ~bold choice~ to move from one country to another with ease and zero hurdles. God, I should've been much more considerate of these billionaires. I'm a terrible person for saying I do not want more entitled billionaires in my country. I should be put to death.

I'm not kidding. When I said the Royal Family - but Better! - wanted to move to my exact city, I said fuck no. We have insane problems that their residence will just make worse.

"ThEy hAvE TOo LiVe SOmEwHeRe!" Yes they do. It doesn't have to be my city. They aren't just fucking entitled to take over a block because they're ~royals~. Every fucking person who sent me hate when I said we do not want a royal family in Canada owes me a fucking apology, or a tax statement proving you're a millionaire and this shit doesn't affect you. Guess what? It actually affects whatever community they do decide to infect.

I honestly don't have any ill-will toward them. They seem like decent people. But, and I cannot believe I have to state this, they are not entitled to live wherever the fuck they want just because they are royals.

I'm not building to anything. I have written this entire post to say that, when I didn't want them in my town a year ago and got so many death threats I deleted it, I think today I might be able to say this without being told I'm a waste of carbonite.

Let me know if Harry and Megan being entitled to a McMansion in Etobicoke is a memo I missed.

Stay Greater, Flamingos