#SNOW MY BELOVED I'VE MISSED YOU WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU HIDING????

[suffewingowo]

SNOWSNOWSNOWSNOWSNOWSNOW

[kissmyhandcallmedarling]

I posted 97 times in 2021

73 posts created (75%)

24 posts reblogged (25%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 288 tags in 2021

#ahs fandom - 38 posts

#evan peters - 33 posts

#american horror story - 33 posts

#ahs hotel - 33 posts

#ahs apocalypse - 29 posts

#james patrick march - 27 posts

#james march - 25 posts

#sarah paulson - 24 posts

#ahs coven - 23 posts

#ahs double feature - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#sometimes the tiktok if it’s a weekend and i’m not working or i have time

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

ugly sweaters + mistletoe

christmas headcanons for the evans

unrelated note: it is the end of november, and i am literally so excited for christmas! i've put up my tree and cute aesthetic lights etc, and i can't wait. i love the whole vibe of christmas, with the music, and the gift shopping. where i live it is summer in december; really want to experience a white chistmas one day if i go traveling. anyway, back to the evans.

tate:

likes watching christmas slasher/horror films (would have actually enjoyed that one episode of ahs stories where it was those youtubers and the santa killer)

also enjoys the film home alone, and likes to set up traps like in the movie, to see how many other ghosts or house guests he can terrorize

tate is definitely one for chonky blankets and cuddles with his s/o

oh yeah, and christmas sweaters!

on halloween he'll always sneak off to the nearest store and buy you a little something, that he hides away until christmas

he'll wrap the gift up very messily, and always gives it to you as soon as you wake up on december 25th

kyle:

loves the idea of kissing under the mistletoe

he will go to cordelia's greenhouse and wreck havoc (seriously, he'd make a huge mess) just to find a sprig of mistletoe

would sneak up behind you and tap your shoulder, only for you to turn around to him standing there holding the mistletoe above your heads, lips puckered waiting for a kiss

tried to make a gingerbread house one year but screwed it up and got so angry he crushed it with his fist and came crying to you

you fixed it with an easy flick of your wrist, to which he responded with cute, amazed, puppy eyes

james:

wouldn't like christmas as it is traditionally christian holiday

would tolerate the christmas trees and decorations liz and iris put around the hotel

he does enjoy the gift-giving element however, as any chance to spoil his dearly beloved, he will take!

does however, fondly remember a few christmases as a young child; sitting with his mother at the fire, watching snow fall, playing with little wooden toys giftted to him

sometimes his father would work late, leaving himself and his mother alone - those were his favourite moments

kai:

celebratory manwiches

huge cult christmas party for the boys

"speedwagon! where the fuck are my peppermint-cranberry-kool-aid shots???!!!"

(these above hcs all would occur before winter's death)

See the full post

114 notes • Posted 2021-11-24 13:04:08 GMT

#4

good old-fashioned lover boy

hey! this is my entry for @americxn writing competition (congrats on 1k followers!!) i used one of the fluff prompts but also kinda delves into deeper stuff idk. i am thinking i will also upload an angst one too maybe... anyway, enjoy <3

note:

- tw: mentions of abuse, domestic violence, scars

- word count: 1,905

-------------------------------------------------------------

You rap lightly on the door; room 78. You dust off the creases in your dress as you hear footsteps approach the door.

"Dearest," James March greets you, pecking each of your cheeks. "How delighted I am to host you this evening." He shuts the door and takes your hand, leading you over to the dining table. Hazel Evers, his loyal maid, potters around the table. James is clearly irritated by the fact that she is yet to clear off.

"Miss Evers!" her beady eyes dart up from her work, casting you a sharp glare. "If you will excuse us..." he indicates to the door, with a cock of his head.

"Of course, Mr March." She hurries past and lets herself out unwillingly.

"I'm terribly sorry, darling," he sighs. Your hand is still in the clutch of your lover's. "Oh, applesauce!" You couldn't help but giggle at his remark. Some of the vocabulary he used was very outdated. But you found it sweet. "It completely slipped my mind... I thought it was rather quiet in here." James let go of your hand and pranced over to the record player. He fumbled around for a few moments, eyes searching through the extensive collection of vinyls. You placed your chin on his shoulder, and arms around his waist.

"What are you looking for?"

At last, he pulls out a record with a satisfied smile. "Louis Armstrong... I find his voice to be rather... riveting. Reminds me of my days at university, finding my footing in the world as a young man." He placed the stylus on the record, and soon the smooth, sensual harmony of jazz filled the room.

"My dear," he began. "May I have this dance. I do believe our repast will survive a few moments longer. I must say, it is not uncommon for me to scald my tongue on hot meals."

"I'd be delighted, kind sir." His hand grasped your waist and soon your bodies were moving as one. James seemed to be in a rather cheerful mood this evening, as he twirled you away from him. He was a talented dancer, proficient in everything from the waltz to the Charleston.

Once the two of you had finished dancing, James lead you over to the dining table, his hand resting on the small of your back. Candles and baskets of bread rolls sat on a crisp, linen tablecloth, the warm light flickering off the walls. James pulled out a chair for you, before seating himself adjacent to yourself. You lifted up the silver cloche to reveal a plate of roast meat, accompanied by an array of vegetables.

"Thank god," James sighed with relief. "If she was to serve us chipped beef one more time, I fear I would have imploded, my dear." He lit a cigarette, his quellazaire perched daintily between his fore and middle fingers.

"Champagne, darling?" He offered you, pulling the bottle from the ice bucket.

See the full post

119 notes • Posted 2021-08-30 11:39:13 GMT

#3

that time of the month is it?

how the evans would comfort you during your period

Tate:

wouldn't really know that much about it or what girls go through

"every month? fuck! that's intense"

he would love to lie in bed with you all day

even if you were feeling fine, he'd still make excuses for you to stay in bed just so he could cuddle with you

"y/n... are you sure your head is feeling okay? you'd better just stay here, just to be sure"

listen to nirvana and eat chocolate

if you bled on his sheets, he wouldn't mind at all

you'd feel really bad, but he'd assure you it was fine

"nah, don't worry about it, baby"

Kit:

Kit is a lady's man and a feminist, so would be fairly well educated

"women go through shit, while us guys just stand around and overexaggerate getting hit in the balls"

before you moved in together, he'd keep a kit (lmao get it) in the bathroom with all the feminine hygiene products you could possibly need, for when you stayed over

"that time of the month is it, honey?" placing a kiss on your forehead

would run you hot baths, and maybe join you if you wanted ;)

make you whatever food you wanted, whenever you wanted (but I mean he does this anyway so...)

backrubs and shoulder massages

Jimmy:

honestly wouldn't care if you bled on his bed

only has one set of sheets for his bed and barely ever washes them

like he wouldn't care as in he wouldn't even bother to get the stain out, however, you would insist, and wash the sheets for him

Jimmy would ensure Elsa wouldn't make you perform if you weren't up to it

See the full post

131 notes • Posted 2021-08-30 14:24:27 GMT

#2

Poetic Lovers

austin sommers x fem!reader

note:

- tw: not exactly smut or nfsw, but sexual themes discussed

- I apologise for any mistakes, just wanted to get this posted and didn't do the most thorough edit

word count: 1,101

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n!" Austin grinned brightly as he welcomed you into his home, kissing you on either cheek. "So good to see you! So glad you could make it!"

You smiled shyly as he put his arm around your shoulders, walking you over to his chaise. You sat down, feeling the luxurious vinyl under your hands, while he wandered over to the mini-bar. You'd had a huge crush on Austin since the moment you first laid eyes on him, singing his heart out at the local bar. But there was no way he felt the same... in fact, you were pretty certain he wasn't even into women. Tonight was simply an evening of two friends getting together to drink and talk about literature. And you were expecting nothing more than that.

"Drink for you, ma'am?"

"Oh, please."

"What 'you up for?" you watched as his fingers nimbly prepared two glasses and fumbled through the extensive collection of liquor. "French martini? Mint julep? Bourbon?"

"I'll just have whatever you're having."

"Oh, sweetheart, no need to be so polite... but how does a julep sound? I am really fancying that ziiiinnngggg this evening."

"Perfect... reminds me of a summer's day. Kinda what you need living in a place like this," you reply awkwardly.

"Ha! I remember I hooked up with this guy this one time in the summer..."

There. He said it. He was gay. As much as you knew this would be the case, you couldn't help but feel heartbroken to know you'd never be anything more than friends.

"...worst screw of my life, by the way. Anyway, he had a bit of a thing for Hollywood, so we climbed the 'o' of the Hollywood sign, and just did it then and there. Mind you we were sky-high on grass."

"Huh... hilarious." You forced a smile.

"What about you?" He asked, carrying over your two drinks and seating himself in front of you. "Any sex horror stories?"

You took a sip of your beverage. "Well... there was this one time..."

"Oh yes! This is gonna be good!!" Austin clapped his hands together enthusiastically. "Paint me a picture with your words, y/n."

"So there was this one guy who I met at the club. He seemed really sweet so I invited him back to mine. Usually, I'm not into one-night-stands, but I was trying to get over someone at the time. So we got to it and then he suddenly," you let a chuckle escape your lips. "He just started roaring like a lion! Like so loudly."

"A lion?!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, y/n, that is a killer!" Austin slapped his hand against his leg as he laughed. "How did you react?"

"Well he had his eyes closed while he was doing it so he couldn't see my reaction, but I was weirded out. Like, he didn't just do it once, it continued on for minutes." You scrunched your face up in disgust. "And then he started licking my arms and my face. Not in a hot way... in a weird-ass way."

"I have to say," he was still hysterical. "That is a banger! Lion-man and Hollywood hookup? It seems we both don't have the best luck when it comes to our sex-lives!"

See the full post

183 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 14:03:31 GMT

#1

'does a chicken have lips?'

aka (super) random and oddly specific headcanons for the evans that just make sense

tate:

sings all the time

thinks he is kurt cobain

loves his showers, this man will spend 30 minutes in the hot water if you let him

oh and obviously he loves to sing and pretend he is kurt cobain in the shower

“I FEEL STUPID... DUH NUH NUH NUH! HERE WE ARE NOW! ENTERTAIN US!”

this annoys the hell out of the tear-jerker (aka b*n harmon)

likes to sit cross-legged on the floor

tate loves lemonade, especially homemade; if he was able to leave the house he would have been the one to buy lemonade from kids with stalls out the front of their homes

owns like 12 pairs of black converse (all at varying stages of wear and tear)

kit:

loves poetry and would leave ripped-out pages from his poetry books on your pillow or in your closet on your coat for you to find

kit is a literature enthusiast and book worm; he loves to read. he'll sit for hours on the porch, cigarette, and book in hand

a stickler for sunday roasts and early morning drives

a feminist and a ladies man

drinks his coffee black

kit loves tomatoes... like anything tomato... tomato soup, tomato sandwiches, tomato salad, tomato juice, roast tomatoes etc.

if kit lived in 2021, he'd be one of those cool hipster (minus the beard) plant dads who spends all day in a coffee shop

i feel like he would make a good architect? i dont' know why, just gives off those vibes you know?

See the full post

197 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 12:39:10 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[lovemecharlie]

Meet My Family

Charlie meets the wives. Part of the origin.

“Come with me to Cali. Visit the mansion one time and if you don’t like it, I’ll bring you right back.” It was the third time Erik had asked and every time, a wave of stress would wash over me. If I was a mistress, then let me be a sinner in peace. Hide me in the shadows, don’t parade me through your wives’ domain.

“Wow, you are really pushing this wife thing. What’s wrong with us dating?” Loading the table with our dinner, I set out crab legs, shrimp, cheddar biscuits, and a small salad. To me, dating is preferable. Fall out of love? Just leave. Partner cheat? Walk away. Something doesn't work out for you? Leave. Why anyone would willingly tie themselves to another person with paperwork was beyond me. “Erik, the concept of marriage is archaic. I mean, why would you even marry six people in the first place when you could've just dated them? I don't get it.” I turn and flinch inwardly because he's directly and unexpectedly in my face. Everything is quiet and it's like the world stops as his burning stare eats through me.

“You wanna know why got married, Charlie? Why I did it six times?” The intensity behind his eyes makes me nervous, like I might have actually offended him. “I married six women who I can't and refuse to live without. I've pledged my life and my muthafuckin soul to these women. I am their provider, protector, and biggest supporter. If I die, everything I have will go to them.”

I gulp and he still doesn't blink. “What do you get, Charlie? You don't get shit but this dick and that's when I have the free time to spare. You don’t get my benefits when we’re just dating and trust me, you want them. Being married can increase your wealth 16% in a year. 500% when you’re married to me.”

“It could also shorten my lifespan and increase my already high stress levels as an American black woman. Do you care?”

“You wanna live forever or you want this money?”

“Think about what you just asked me and tell me if that’s a question worth answering.” He knew that was a dumb question.

“You making this more complicated than it has to be. Just meet my family. You my therapist ain't you? They deserve to meet you.”

“Do they wanna meet me?”

“I talk about you all the time. They know you’re coming eventually. Besides, they know I be confiding in you, they just don't know I tell you everything.. so tread slow with that when you get.”

“Confidentially is key with me.” I take my cloth napkin and shake it out dramatically, folding it in my lap. Ugh. I can feel a headache coming. Rubbing my temples, I close my eyes to think and reflect. This entire relationship is a ‘fuck you’ to the Code of Ethics and I'm still talking about confidentially. He's like an addiction and I can’t decide whether or not it's healthy for me. I look up and I can see him staring, the request still burning. His eyes are pleading.

“FINE! Fine, I'll go.”

“That’s all I wanted,” he grins grabbing the crab legs. It's like his energy has shifted into something lighthearted and joyful. I can't even feel bitter or annoyed because he's smiling and that look that he has is something contagious.

◇

He was proud of his jet. It was a beautiful jet! Luxurious, big, clean.. The perfect place for me to join the mile-high club. I cemented my membership three times before the plane landed. The ride cross country was much shorter than it would've been had we flown commercial. After landing, we took a car and rolled up to a gate which led to a mega-property. A mansion. From the parking garage, there was an elevator and the doors opened into a scene rivaling the most beautiful timeshare. “Whoa,” was all I could muster. There was a large living room.

“HENNESSY! ALY'SHA! RYLEY! ANGEL! HOMIE! KIMORA! GET Y'ALL ASSES IN HERE,” he yells, his bracelet picking up the sound like a transmitter. Within minutes, six women appear, stopping short to stare. The tiny light bright looks like she wants to snap my neck. Angele has an expression that reads standoffish in the most aggressive way. The last one looks me up and down like I’m intruding. I could kill Erik. It looks like they're caught off guard. He grabs my hand tugging me forward and then rests his large arm around my waist causing eyebrows to raise.

“This is Charlie,” he says firmly. Thankfully realization strikes and their faces relax. The third one waved a dismissive hand, releasing a small relieved sigh and the small first spoke up.

“Okay, so you're Charlie. We were expecting you. N'Jadaka doesn't shut up about his beloved therapist. No offense.”

“Be nice, Henny,” Erik raises a brow.

“So you're trying to marry into our family,” Angele stares, holding a hand up to Erik to keep him from interjecting. Her diamond ring is blinding as she angles it forward purposely. “What exactly do you know about us, Miss Jade?”

A lot. I'm starting to piece together who is who based on the personalities. They're just as Erik described.

“Erik's said nothing but good things about you all. I hope he's offered me that same kindness.”

“Mmmm. Well, Erik doesn't have the final say over whether you join this house or otherwise,” Kimora says stepping up and snapping her fingers. She circles me before stopping in front and looking back to the others. “She's cute, I guess.”

“Either way, anyone wanting into Daddy's heart or into this family gotta get through us,” Ryley shrugs. Erik bends down to whisper in my ear and I turn nervously to grab his arm before he can walk away.

“Just be yourself,” he smiles squeezing my chin before eyeing everyone in the room. “Have fun!” With a chuckle, he disappears down a hall and I'm left with six women who surround me.

“So, Charlie..” Hennessy smiles, “You like animals? We got tigers if you wanna see them.”

“As long as you don't sick them on me just to get get rid of me? Hell yeah,” I snort following them outside into the yard where there is an enclosure. “I’ve always loved cats of every size. Two of my best friends are cats. One, a black housecat and two, a gentle tiger. We have an understanding.” Their tigers are beautiful and resting like lazy overgrown kittens. There's a snow white one that steals my heart, but it also has claws that could take my life. “..I'm serious y'all.. Just ask if you want me to leave…,” I smile nervously and Aly'sha chuckles.

“That one's mine. Completely harmless.”

“Oh okay,” I breathe. The group starts to chuckle and soon everyone's laughing.

“You're really nervous,” Angele smiles.

“Tryna make a good impression,” I admit.

“Relax. We already like you,” Homie deadpans. It's the first time she's spoken to me.

@poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku @hennessystevens-udaku @itsangeludaku @alyshastevens-udaku @itskimorafireudaku @allhailnjadaka @bidibidibombaclaat @blackpinup22 @destinio1 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @leahnicole1219 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark