#SOBBING CRYING WHTA IS THIS ENDING PG

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Poison Date translation (Part 1/2)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

⚠️ Content Warning: Suicide. Please proceed cautiously and prioritize your mental and emotional well-being when engaging with this material

I’ve committed unforgivable sins, drunk the incurable poison.

Your sweet voice has set my reason ablaze, beckoning me to follow you to the depths of hell.

So kiss me, my love, with those poisoned lips of yours.

[T/N: In the original CN date, XM has two ‘identities’ because of the plot. ‘Xu Mo’, the future king and MC’s late husband; and ‘Lucien’, the actor (Yes, PG used his official English name as a pseudonym). But in my translation, I will switch the use of ‘Xu Mo’ and ‘Lucien’ considering how the EN server is more familiar with the name ‘Lucien’, and the context of the date where it sets on the medieval era and the actor is said to be from the east. So, for my translation:

The late husband-> Lucien

The actor-> Xu Mo]

[T/N: another thing, Lucien often addresses MC with 夫人 (fūrén) here, and basically, it’s a rather polite address for a married woman. When the husband says it, it can be translated as ‘my wife’. However, if it’s not the husband that says it, it’s more of a polite title to another person’s wife, similar to ‘Madam’.]

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[Subbed Video - Turn on CC!]

VERY recommended to watch the video for the complete experience. Hearing the name ‘Lucien’ being said in CN is a novel experience, and the different tone between the proud (late husband) Lucien and flattering (actor) Xu Mo is interesting lol.

[Part 1]

Can't be found in ten thousand books,

Nor has it been passed down in ten thousand poems,

The secret elixir is as sweet as honey at times, and as bitter as chicory at others;

Once you taste a drop, your soul will perish.

Kiss me, with those poisoned lips of yours.

The scattered sound of horseshoes lightly tapping on cobblestones, along with people's cheers and whispered conversations, pierced through the carriage curtains and drifted into my ears.

Passerby A: I can't believe that aloof Cardinal is willing to leave the monastic order for the sake of love!

Passerby B: Tsk, what love? I heard this is all arranged by the Pope and the King; the bishop hasn't even met the princess.

Passerby A: Huh? You can get married without ever having met?

Passerby B: Aren't most of these political marriages like that? By marrying the princess, the bishop will become the king in the future!

MC: ….

I quietly clenched the hem of my skirt and closed my eyes tightly.

Of course, I know that my marriage to Lucien is simply a collaborative arrangement between my father and the Pope.

Both sides needed to gain more power and more significant influence, so they decided to merge their 'treasures' into one.

No one really cares about the thoughts of the two protagonists in this marriage- except me.

??: Princess, you seem a bit nervous?

The warm voice coming from the opposite seat seemed to be imbued with magic as if it could capture my breath the moment they spoke.

I was startled and immediately opened my eyes, just in time to meet his gaze.

The cardinal in front of me still sat upright like a priest, but he was no longer dressed in the solemn cassock and looked more like a prince from a fairy tale.

A flush of heat surged up my cheeks, and I stammered as I shook my head.

MC: N-No, I'm not nervous…

My marriage partner sitting in front of me suddenly smiled.

Lucien: The princess need not fret. Just know that God blesses our union.

MC: Um, I know. But what I care about isn't the blessing of the gods, but… it's…

Lucien: What is it then?

His gaze was deep and focused, and I felt defenseless after just a second of eye contact. When I spoke again, my voice was as faint as a whisper.

MC: Lucien, actually, the first time I saw you in the cathedral, I…

Lucien: Shh, we're at the cathedral now.

Lucien extended his index finger, silently halting the words I was about to say next.

At this moment, the carriage had stopped in front of a long staircase covered in flower petals, and welcoming drums filled the air.

Lucien: Let's save the rest for after the ceremony. Step out of the carriage now, Princess.

Lucien was about to open the carriage door when I suddenly grabbed his sleeve, causing him to turn back with a hint of surprise.

Lucien: Princess?

MC: (blushing) I….

I knew I shouldn't have dwelled on the confession I couldn't finish earlier. The fleeting thought was insignificant compared to the upcoming ceremony.

MC: I…

My face turned red. But Lucien smiled as he gently turned his wrist and pinched my fingers.

Lucien: MC, don't worry, my heart is the same as yours.

He unexpectedly understood all my anxieties and expectations. He placed my fingertips gently against his lips, treasuring and tender.

Lucien: From the moment I first laid eyes on you, Princess, I…

MC: ——Liar!!

I sit up in bed abruptly, cold sweat soaking through the dress on my back.

I've lost count of how many times I've had this nightmare.

Flowers, kisses, blessings... It was such a happy scene, but every time it replayed in my mind, it only made my heart tighten.

I'm still in shock when suddenly the door is knocked twice, then pushed open, and the flickering light of a candlestick enters the room.

??: Madam, are you…?

MC: Who is it?!

The sudden voice of a man startles me, and I quickly turn towards the source of the light.

But the moment I see the face bathed in the warm yellow light, my pupils widen in shock.

Narrow eyes, soft lips, a high-bridged nose... a nearly perfect combination of features that form the face I least wanted to encounter.

MC: Lucien?

The other person noticeably freezes upon hearing my murmur. Then, he breaks into a smile.

??:[chuckles] Madam, have you mistaken me for someone else?

MC: I was mistaken…

The light flickers and I finally snap out of it.

MC: ...Right, you can't be Lucien.

The person in front of me is just a man who looks much like Lucien.

—Because my husband was secretly executed by the Pope a long time ago.

MC: Then who are you, and why are you here?

The young man who resembles Lucien smiles again at my words.

??: My name is Xu Mo.

??: I was brought back to the palace by you tonight. Have you forgotten?

MC: Tonight?

I pause for a moment. Today is the anniversary of my father's death, and I drank heavily. The Pope took pity on me and arranged for me to relax at the theater.

I've already forgotten the content of the play in my drunkenness, and the man before me, named Xu Mo... seems to be the male actor from that play.

— Could it be that I brought him back while I was drunk?

I feel a bit absurd and incredulous, so I can only let out an embarrassed cough.

MC: Even if... even if you were brought back by me, you shouldn't be here.

Xu Mo: It seems that Madam is indeed drunk. It was your request for me to guard your door tonight.

MC: ….

As he speaks, he raises the candlestick with a sincere and innocent expression, casting light on the costume he's still wearing. I become even more bewildered.

Xu Mo notices my distraction and tilts his head with concern.

Xu Mo: Madam, did you sleep poorly?

MC: What?

Xu Mo: Your appearance is worn, and you seem in constant worry, with a disordered mind. I have some knowledge of calming methods that might help you sleep.

MC: I don't need-

I forcibly suppressed the words that slipped out of my mouth.

I should refuse.

After all, I don't even know this Xu Mo; he's just a stranger actor I brought back with me.

But his face and the way he speaks are so much like Lucien…

Almost as if by some strange force, I nod.

MC: Alright, let's give it a try.

Xu Mo respectfully bows to me and retrieves a small, delicate incense burner from his pouch, placing it on the table.

Xu Mo: This is a spice from the East that can help sweep away all your worries.

Xu Mo: Close your eyes, madam. I will continue to stand guard outside the door.

The gentle voice lingers in the mist, and I sink into the feathered warmth.

Xu Mo: (whisper softly)…Fool.

In a daze, I seem to hear a sigh, and then the door closes.

[Part 2]

=Flashback start=

Lucien: The main component of this poison comes from aconitine, a plant originating from the East.

Lucien: Its flowers are quite beautiful. Would you like to see them?

Lucien carefully took out a specimen of aconite flowers. The eerie and vibrant shade of purple solidified into a thin sheet, making it impossible to look away.

MC: Such a beautiful flower unexpectedly hides such a deadly poison…

Lucien: Even though it's poison, it's also medicine. Eastern people use its roots for pain relief and treating illnesses, whereas we only use it to kill people.

As Lucien spoke these extremely dangerous words, I didn't feel a hint of fear. Instead, I found a more comfortable position in his arm.

MC: Are you trying to say whether it's poison or medicine depends entirely on the person?

Lucien:[chuckles] Yes, my wife is very clever.

The rewarding kiss landed on my forehead, and Lucien set aside the aconite specimen, picking up another piece of artwork.

Lucien: This is called "Strychnine". The poison extracted from it…

Lucien wasn't only a perfect husband but also an excellent teacher.

He taught me many knowledge areas I shouldn't have had access to, which made me feel a sense of freshness as someone who had previously only been exposed to the arts.

I flipped through the pages of previous records. I felt deeply moved and asked Lucien.

MC: With so many types of poison, what do you think is the most terrifying kind of poison?

Lucien pondered, his fingertips unconsciously leaving faint traces on the parchment.

Lucien: Me? I believe the most terrifying poison is one that is unknowable and incurable.

Lucien: Not knowing when it was administered, not knowing how to antidote it, not knowing when one might die…

Lucien: Being afflicted with such a poison is the most despairing thing.

I listen but only half-understanding it. Lucien looks at my confused expression, smiles, and gently squeezes my palm.

Lucien: Don't worry, Madam, all my poisons have their rightful place.

At that moment, the voice of a servant from outside the door reminded Lucien that it was time for him to attend to matters.

Lucien put down his book with a bit of regret, his breath lingering in my hair as if reluctant to part.

Lucien: (whispers coquettishly)Hmm, I really don't want to go…

MC: Pfft, how can the future king not attend to state affairs?

Lucien: [chuckles] Because state affairs are dull, and being with my wife is fun.

His frank love words always easily stirred my heartbeat.

The waiter outside urged again, so I had to restrain myself and push away his clasping fingers.

MC: Hurry, Father and the Pope are impatient.

Lucien cast a somewhat helpless glance at me before slowly getting up and wearing his outer robe.

He casually tidied up the messy strands of hair he had caused and gestured with his eyes toward the nearby harp.

Lucien: When I return, we won't have the pharmacology class, you will teach me to play the harp, okay?

MC: Sure, I'll prepare some sheet music. If you don't learn well, I might have to give you a "tough lesson" with a pointer stick!

Lucien: I will study hard, teacher.

=Flashback ends=

Xu Mo: You seemed to have slept well yesterday.

Xu Mo's voice brings back my thoughts, and I withdraw my gaze to look at him.

He's still wearing that costume, and there's a layer of weary darkness under his eyes - the one who didn't sleep last night is him.

I caress the silver cup he brought, and the warmth of milk inside soothes my fingertips.

MC: Why are you so eagerly attentive?

My words are so straightforward that they make Xu Mo get momentarily taken aback, but then he bends down to please me.

Xu Mo: If I can serve by Madam's side, I won't have to travel with the theater troupe anymore.

Xu Mo: Since Madam has given me an opportunity, I want to seize it.

Xu Mo's words are even more greedy and obsequious than mine, and I can't help but sneer.

MC: You should know that I am a widow.

Xu Mo: Of course, I know. Once your health is restored, His Holiness will return power to you, and you will be the most noble woman in this kingdom.

MC: Since you know that, and yet you dared to say what you just did, it seems you're not a good person after all.

Xu Mo: I never claimed to be a good person. Moreover, in this world, good people don't live long.

Xu Mo: So Madam, are you satisfied with the soothing incense from yesterday?

In just a moment, the ambition that flickered in Xu Mo's eyes overlapped with the one Lucien had once shown.

But in the blink of an eye, what remains before me is still a compliant and humble male actor.

I fall silent for a moment, then set down the slightly cooled milk and reach my hand toward him.

MC: Help me up. I want to take a walk in the garden.

Xu Mo bows deeply to me, a satisfied smile on his face.

Xu Mo: As you command, Madam.

These past few years, my body has become frail due to excessive grief.

Apart from going to the cathedral for weekly prayers, I spend my time alone in the study, reading books. It's been a long time since I set foot in the garden.

I sigh as I look at the withered foliage before me.

MC: The flowers have all withered…

Xu Mo: Does Madam like flowers?

MC: It's him who likes them.

The "him" in my words is obvious, and Xu Mo simply nods faintly without further inquiry.

— As a commoner aspiring to climb the social ladder, he is pretty pragmatic.

Xu Mo: Would Madam be willing to introduce these flowers to me?

MC: Why should I introduce them to you?

Xu Mo: Hmm... I suppose there's no harm since we have nothing better to do, right?

Xu Mo: I will study hard, teacher.

He unintentionally spoke the exact same words as Lucien but in a completely different tone. My fingers involuntarily tighten as I slowly respond.

MC: These are oleanders. They have a long blooming season and are quite beautiful when in full bloom. However, they are toxic if ingested, so one must be careful not to consume them…

MC: These few plants are the black datura he collected back then, very rare but equally poisonous…

I'm not a competent teacher, and my vocabulary for the introduction is dry, far less vivid, and interesting than when Lucien used to explain things.

However, Xu Mo listens with great interest. It might be my imagination, but his gaze doesn't seem to be focused on the flowers; instead, it feels like he's looking at me.

Xu Mo: ...Madam's extensive knowledge of flowers and poisons is quite impressive, a bit beyond my expectations.

MC: It's all things he told me about.

Xu Mo: I guess he must be very happy. After all, someone is willing to remember this knowledge so well.

MC: He's gone, what's the point of talking about whether he's happy or not?

The atmosphere suddenly grew colder.

Xu Mo falls silent momentarily, takes a short breath, and no longer discusses plants with me. Instead, he starts talking about peculiar stories from the streets.

He travels with the theater troupe from the East, witnessing countless fascinating customs and traditions along the way.

In terms of eloquence, he is also quite similar to Lucien.

I listen attentively without giving away my thoughts, occasionally posing a few tricky questions in an attempt to learn more about his background.

Xu Mo's answers remain seamless, without any hint of a flaw.

It's only when our walk comes to an end, and he assists me back to my seat wrapped in furs, that he suddenly smiles.

Xu Mo: Is Madam trying to see someone through me?

MC: I'm not.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. I answered too quickly, making it seem like I was trying to conceal something.

And so, Xu Mo's smile deepens.

Xu Mo: [chuckles] It doesn't matter, as long as Madam is willing to have me serve her, I will ensure her satisfaction.

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It's always Lucien that I love.

But precisely because of that, I find myself uncontrollably searching for traces of Lucien in Xu Mo. And with each of his gestures, he becomes more and more like my late husband.

He's like a certain kind of poison that numbs my senses, making me unable to resist peering and sniffing, deliberately getting me addicted.

Very quickly, filthy rumors began to target my empty palace.

But I don't care. After my father and Lucien both died one after another, and with illness plaguing me, everyone regarded me as ominous.

So what does it matter to the world what the ominous person wants to do?

Moreover, now that Xu Mo takes care of me, my health seems to have improved a little. Even the Pope was a bit surprised when I went to the cathedral to pray this time.

The Pope: MC, may God bless you; your complexion has finally improved.

MC: Thank you for your compassion, Your Holiness.

The Pope helps me to my feet and hands me holy water.

The Pope: Once you feel better, our young queen can be crowned, and I can confidently return the kingdom to you.

I smile and don't respond to his words, simply sipping the holy water slowly.

There is still a familiar sweetness in the water, and the seal wax around the rim of the chalice can easily be accidentally ingested.

I furrow my brow tightly, and the Pope's voice continues to come from beside my ear.

The Pope: However, once you become queen, you can't be as willful as you are now.

The Pope: I heard you have taken a male companion, this could damage your reputation.

It turns out there's not much difference between the most powerful Pope and common beggars. I sneered inwardly while maintaining a respectful demeanor on my face.

MC: How could I dare to do anything immoral under the watchful gaze of God? Xu Mo is merely my servant, taking care of my daily life.

I don't want to continue discussing Xu Mo with the Pope and change the topic.

MC: By the way, my birthday is in a couple of days, and since I've been feeling better lately, I'd like to organize a celebration.

MC: Will you come?

The Pope places the silver cup containing holy water back in its place and smiles benevolently.

The Pope: I'm your second father. So of course, I will come.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although I said I wanted to have a good celebration, in reality, there are not many people willing to come on my birthday.

After all, in the eyes of the world, I'm just a widow without support who could die of depression at any moment, so there is naturally no need for flattery or fawning.

The simple banquet is coming to an end when Xu Mo, who has been absent for half a day, suddenly appears before me.

MC: Where have you been?

Xu Mo: Nobles' party is no place for a commoner like me.

MC: I thought you might take this opportunity to find more opportunities for yourself.

Xu Mo: Madam, your saying hurts my heart greatly and underestimates my loyalty.

He takes my wine glass with a smile, places it under his nose, and gives it a light sniff, furrowing his brow slightly.

Xu Mo: The aroma of this wine is too coarse. Please, have my glass, Madam.

Our act of exchanging glasses is too ambiguous, and at this moment, there are already malicious whispers coming from the corners of the banquet hall.

Neither Xu Mo nor I pay any attention to these voices. He hands me his cup, and amidst the fruity aroma filling the silver cup, there's a hint of bitterness. My eyelashes tremble slightly.

MC: Alright.

Xu Mo watches me finish the drink, and only then does he breathe a sigh of relief.

His gaze briefly passes over the Pope, who is surrounded by the crowd not far away, before returning to my face.

Xu Mo: I've just prepared a birthday gift for you, Madam.

MC: What is it?

Xu Mo: It's a play.

Xu Mo: I have already set up the stage, arranged the actors, and after the banquet, I will present it to…

The Pope: I presume you are the servant named Xu Mo?

The Pope's voice interrupted our conversation. The old man walks over, and his gaze sweeps over Xu Mo’s face like a knife, raising an eyebrow.

The Pope: Oh, Xu Mo, you have a face that is both... dangerous and nostalgic.

The Pope: I hope you are a loyal servant to your master so that I can rest assured.

Xu Mo respectfully bows to the Pope and speaks in a gentle tone.

Xu Mo: I am forever loyal.

The Pope: That's best. So, what were the two of you talking about?

Xu Mo: I want to perform a scene from a play for Madam, as a birthday gift for her.

The Pope: A play?

The Pope smiles at the corner of his mouth, his interest piqued.

The Pope: I wonder if I have the honor to come and enjoy your splendid performance as well?

Xu Mo looks up at me, and a hint of darkness passes through his deep, dark eyes. Then, he takes half a step forward, stops in front of me, and bows to the Pope.

Xu Mo: It'd be my honor.

Part 3 & 4-> [Here]