#STOP IDK WHATS HAPPENINGGGGG

[ssssachi]

Letters and Love!

12 - live action drama (not)

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Description: Y/N has been crushing on Hamada Asahi for a while (since freshman). Now that they’re in the final year of senior high, she plans on confessing to him now or never!! But ofc, there are obstacles that must be faced. And that obstacle, is his alleged GIRLFRIEND!??? She badly wants to shoot her shot but knowing her crush has already have a lover, she decides to only write him letters full of love and confessions and continue admiring him from a far. With no plans on revealing her identity to him whatsoever. Or that’s what she thought..

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[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 311

It kind of took all I had not to fast forward through the first half of this episode. But whatever. Survivalist!Claire’s aesthetic does things for me. Drunk!Claire is my everything. And hey, not-a-dick!Jamie is back. There are only two episodes left so y’all are almost done having to scroll past my profanely-expressed disappointment with how that character has been written in the back half of the season.

But yeah. The first half of the episode, my shallow feelings about Claire looking nice while traipsing about in the jungle aside, is pretty much pointless. But I’ll take the fluffy second half. Same disclaimer as usual though about watching it as its own thing and not part of the larger season. (Is it just me or does this season feel like just a series of episodes rather than a larger overarching story like the other two did? Obvi every season is a series of episodes. That’s how TV works, duh. But idk, there’s something different about this one and for me it feels like there’s something missing...)

Anywho... DRUNK!CLAIRE AND SECKSI TIMES AND DRUNK!CLAIRE AND FERSALI AND DRUNK!CLAIRE AND MIRRORS AND DRUNK!CLAIRE AND MARSALI STARTING TO LIKE CLAIRE AND DRUNK!CLAIRE AND CHECKING THINGS OFF JAMMF’S SECKSI TIME BUCKET LIST AND DRUNK!CLAIRE!

*clings to scraps because otherwise why bother*

Claire napping/passed out on her raft reminds me of the time I literally fell asleep while floating in a pool. Because it really is possible to nap anywhere. Naps are great. #TeamNap

Ok so the fire ants are gross but that sequence did result in a reminder that Claire has really nice legs. So thanks for that, ants.

*pours one out for Coco’s dead relatives*

Why bother having Mamacita notice the zipper and then not have it even be a thing?

Hated the stuff with Fogden in the book. Hate it in the show. His only purpose is to marry Fersali and foreshadow the cave so the amount of time spent on him makes me roll my eyes like whoa.

Every time Claire tells someone she’s a doctor, have a drink and smash the patriarchy.

Ok. Tom Hanks literally had no one to talk to when he went all in with Wilson. Fogden has a fucking human woman living with him. And animals. And a town like a day away. WHY THE FUCK IS HE TALKING TO A COCONUT. STRANGER DANGER. RUN THE FUCK AWAY, CLAIRE.

I’m apparently a bit salty about sitting through so much with him.

Like we spend what feels like forever on his story about Ermenegilda. (It’s really like two minutes, but when you give no fucks about the story, it feels like 20.) We know more about this rando fucker who means nothing to Claire than we do about Joe, her best and only friend who was like the most important person in her life, besides Bree, for more than a decade. You make weird af choices, show. #TeamJoe

Of course the guy who fucking talks to a fucking coconut is also menacing af. Jfc, Claire. Get the fuck out of there. There is literally nothing stopping you. Mamacita will gladly point you in the right direction. Why are we still here with this dude.

Can Mamacita not call Claire a whore though? Can we just generally stop having people call Claire a whore? Cool.

Aaand now we get more about his dead girlfriend. Yes, loving people and missing daughters, yada yada. I still don’t care about this character. Didn’t need Sandy’s sob story. Don’t need Fogden’s. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

YOU DON’T NEED TO CONVINCE FATHER FOGDEN TO LET YOU GO, CLAIRE. JUST FUCKING LEAVE. IT’S NOT LIKE HE HAS YOU LOCKED UP. ASK THE LADY WHO WANTS YOU GONE TO POINT YOU IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF THE TOWN AND JUST BOUNCE.

Oh hey, Abandawe again. That’s probs not going to be a thing later...

See, look! Look how happy Mamacita is to give you general directions that transcend the language barrier, Claire! Oy. Moving on...

Well golly gee willikers it looks like the boys have somehow showed up at the beach equivalent of Galavant’s Forest of Coincidence! How fortunate.

(For serious. That scene is great.)

(I mean the one in Galavant. Not the boys on the beach.)

“Ye may have impure thoughts... But wi’ a pure heart, ye will have His forgiveness.” Ok this right here basically sums up my issue with second half of the season Jamie. Yes, it’s a comforting thing to say to Fergus, but it’s also how Jamie apparently rationalizes his not-stellar behavior. That one NYT recap said the show had a Jamie problem because he never had to answer for anything he did, and this is Jamie basically being like yep. That’s correct.

Apparently Claire has “freakishly accurate with mirror signals” in the special skills section of her resume. Wat.

It’s ok though because LOOK AT HER FACE WHEN SHE SEES JAMIE COMING FOR HER.

Their hug is magical, but I can’t stop giggling over Jamie going all phoebe buffay running dot gif.

“Mac Dubh’s wife turns up in the most unlikely of places, does she no?” “Aye. She just drops out of nowhere.” Thanks for that oh so totally necessary bit of on-the-nose meta, Lesley and Hayes. I still am in no way invested in you.

Obligatory “I love Yi Tien Cho” bullet. Like obvi with his acupuncture skills, he has some knowledge of medicine. But he just fixes Claire’s arm up like a boss. I really do love the two of them together.

Also I’m so fucking happy they cut the nonsense with the pirates. Like there are a bagillion ways for Claire to hurt her arm and thank fuck they decided on a way that’s so much better and less time consuming than fucking pirates. That said, no brownie points for fixing things that obviously needed fixing. That’s literally the job of the adaptation.

Oh right. Searching for Young Ian. That’s what all this is about. I’d forgotten that, what with all the side-quests...

I still don’t get why Jamie like considers himself to be all magnanimous for giving Fergus and Marsali his blessing. Like there really isn’t a good reason for him to object? Whatevs.

Yi Tien Cho giving Fogden the chicken is basically like “Jamie, you’re lucky I like your wife so much. Because fuck you for making me do this.”

THE SCENE WITH CLAIRE AND MARSALI IS MY EVERYTHING. GIVE ME ALL THE SCENES WITH CLAIRE AND MARSALI.

CAN MARSALI PLEASE STOP CALLING JAMIE “DADDY” THOUGH? IT’S SO FUCKING CREEPY.

Pretty sure Claire forgets to actually tell Marsali about ye olde timey birth control though, lol, because she is basically just constantly preggo for the rest of the series. (Yes, I know in the book Claire does tell her. But if we don’t see that convo in the show, I’m headcanoning that they forgot because Marsali basically gets pregnant every time Fergus like looks in her general direction.)

THEIR LITTLE SMILES AT EACH OTHER WHEN MARSALI SAYS MAYBE CLAIRE IS NOT THE DEVIL AFTER ALL. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I love Marsali being sassy at her wedding. And Claire and Jamie being all proud of their first child in the background. And Jamie giving Fergus the name that’s basically been his since before Culloden. And apparently Fergus share’s his dad’s affinity for ridiculous scarves. And Fergus’ little smile at Jamie and Claire after the ceremony kills me in the best way possible.

OK GUYS IT’S HAPPENINGGGGG. I love this scene and word-vomited about why way back in August and it’s finally here. The actual plot at this point in the season is not something I give a single fuck about. I’m here for fluffy smut.

DRUNK!CLAIRE IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE DECLARING THAT SHE IS IN FACT A DOCTOR IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE’S FACE WHEN SHE SPITS OUT THE THINGY FROM THE SYRINGE IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE SUCCESSFULLY PUTTING THE NEEDLE ON THE SYRINGE ONE HANDED AND BEING QUITE PROUD OF HERSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH IS MY EVERYTHING.

JAMIE BEING AMUSED BY MAKING THE NEEDLE JIZZ A LITTLE AND DRUNK!CLAIRE BEING STARTLED BY SAID NEEDLE JIZZ IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE BEING LIKE YES, STAB ME IN THE ARSE PLEASE IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE STABBING HERSELF IN THE ARSE BECAUSE BOYS ARE USELESS IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE “MMM”-ING AT JAMIE IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE DECLARING THAT DAMMIT SHE *IS* RESPECTABLE IS MY EVERYTHING.

DRUNK!CLAIRE CRAWLING ACROSS THE TABLE IS MY EVERYTHING.

BOLT THE FUCKING DOOR, JAMIE! BOLT THE DOOR! BOLT DOOR! BOLDOR! BODOR!

CURRENT SEXUALITY: DRUNK!CLAIRE GIGGLING AS SHE GRABS THE D.

DRUNK!CLAIRE BOLTING THE DOOR HER DAMN SELF BECAUSE BOYS ARE USELESS IS MY EVERYTHING.

GUYS JAMIE FINALLY GETS TO DO IT THE BACK WAY. YOU KNOW, LIKE HORSES.

DRUNK!CLAIRE’S “NO, SHE HASN’T” IS MY EVERYTHING.

BANG ON, FRASERS.