#Sensoa

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW - COCSA, SA, mention of parental figures with life threatening conditions and mental issues, mention of attempted kidnapping (1/3) Mostly a vent, but also looking for advice. Sorry this is long, but I'd honestly just feel better having someone read this. Tall order, I know, sorry in advanced. My case was textbook COCSA between young peers. We were six, and he would pressure me into oral on several occasions. I said no several times on several occasions but he would use guilt tripping, emotional manipulation. Threatened not to be my friend, threatened to tell on me and get me in trouble, which sounds like nothing but to me was everything. Told me its just what "girls and boys do" or would just keep asking until I did what he said. He would have his friend watch then tease me when I did it and would make me cry on at least one occasion, and he laughed. He got me to bite it and the feeling was horrible and I still feel it in my mouth. I remember being disgusted then, and still feel that same disgust now. Embarrassed too. This continued until I was 7 at varying frequencies. I understand his threats seem like nothing to an adult, but to a child they felt very real, like my world was ending. The threats of abandonment terrified me cos I only had one other friend, had ADHD thus rejection sensitivity, and I had experienced trauma surrounding fear of losing my loved ones already, my father having a life threatening condition at the time and my mother with mental issues where she would threaten suicide and leave the house after saying so for hours at a time amongst other scary things. He didn't know the latter two stuff but did know I was bullied a lot, he manipulated me, and coerced me. I never wanted to do that stuff. Not to mention, the behaviour was extremely developmentally abnormal as penetrative acts between children that age is not considered normal even if its just oral. I'd argue there was a power difference too since I was developmentally behind my peers in terms of cognation and social skills, and he had more knowledge on this stuff than me. He learnt it from porn, but I suspect an adult may have abused him too since he used very "adult groomer like" language when trying to convince me. I don't even blame him, he was more like a bully than an abuser. But I do blame the adults who hurt him and thus me indirectly, and the adults who knew what he was doing to me but did nothing.

Here's my conundrum though. I've looked at the Brooks traffic light tool. I'm in the red. I looked at the continuum of sexually harmful behaviours from Hackett (2010 model I believe), what I experienced is firmly in the "abusive" section. I used the Sensoa Flag System and aside from the ages being off with both children being 10 instead of both 6-7, there was a scenario described in the textbook that was EXACTLY my situation that was in the red, abusive behaviours section. And an added note that if the coercion occured on more than one occasion, it was actually BLACK FLAG behaviour. By all professional measures of this type of abuse, it's abuse. The therapists, psychologists, police, etc, that I've spoken to all told me its a form of sexual abuse/CSA. Yet I always feel that my abuse does not count or isn't as serious as the abuses of others. I feel guilt seeking help from rape charities or specialist counselling services specifically for CSA survivors even when the councillors from those services tell me I have a right to be there. I feel guilt calling myself a "CSA survivor". I feel the need to specify I experienced "COCSA" when I talk about it, but then I need to explain what COCSA is to those who don't know... and then usually I feel the need to explain the intricacies of COCSA and the specifics of my situation to validate to them that what happened to me, for all intents and purposes, was sexual abuse. And its exhausting when I am just trying to go into a space to vent with other SA survivors, that this was the worst thing I've experienced and needing to justify that. I have experienced SA as an adult but that barely effects me these days in comparison to the fucking carnage the COCSA caused me. Not to mention the other traumatic experiences I've had in childhood and adulthood, including emotional abuse and even attempted kidnapping. COCSA remains the worst thing I experienced in terms of its impact. I think of it daily. It's so hard to not be seen as "weak" or judged or seen as an attention seeker without having to explain the decades of studies I've read through just to justify my emotions to MYSELF. I use the tools the professionals use to justify to myself my emotions are valid. I just want to figure out how to stop thinking like this. It's frustrating. I just want to stop thinking about this topic as a whole preferably, but I'd at least like my brain to stop compelling me to read decades worth of scientific writings on the matter of COCSA and peer on peer sexual abuse so I don't waste hours of my day on a near daily basis. I also have an issue with the fact that the COCSA caused my reactions to the other forms of sexual violence like simple sexual harassment to really fuck me up. Stuff that others would probably barely count as harrassment. I cannot walk home alone at night at all. I have to call someone if I need to. That's partly due to the attempted kidnapping to be fair, and being followed home once as an adult, but also the harassment I've faced over the years of both childhood and adulthood. It feels constant to have some crusty dusty old guy perving on you. Not to mention that as an adult I realise lots of the "innocent" interactions I had around older men as a child were not as innocent and rather older men asking me for disgusting things like me dancing for them and shaking my butt in my swimsuit for them. And having even another child hurt you in that way? Idk. It makes me feel that no one is safe to be around. And worse, no child is safe from others. Not even other children. I am terrified of that concept. It makes me not want to have children because I am so terrified I might fail them in some way or they be hurt by someone else who they were supposed to be safe around.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through and please know that not only are you not alone in experiencing COCSA and polyvictimization, but you're also not the only survivor to feel like what happened isn't serious or valid enough to get help or resources for your experiences, or to even label yourself as a survivor. This can be especially difficult if you've been gaslit or victim-blamed over what you went through.

Regarding how your COCSA still overshadows your SA in adulthood, it's important to recognize that your COCSA was at a formative age, which could partly explain why it's had a much more significant impact on your being. That being said, sometimes it's simply a mystery why our brains find one experience more traumatic than the other, even if it seems it should be the other way around. But it's important to honor your trauma as it is, and consider that trauma isn't defined by what happened, but rather by how we psychologically respond or process those events.

It's really hard to struggle with validating your own trauma. Something that has helped me personally was to imagine it vicariously. Like, imagine that someone else went through the exact same thing as you did. Would you tell them that they can't call themselves a survivor, or that what happened to them wasn't traumatic, abusive, or severe? Would you call them weak or an attention seeker? If you answer no, now consider that this person is you. It may not completely resolve things, but it may put it somewhat at ease.

I think that your experiences contextualize your general unease, fear, and distrust. But it can also be isolating and exhausting to navigate your life in a way that is dictated by these things. As a survivor you deserve to shine beyond your trauma-informed fears and live a life that is meaningful to you. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional could help you process all of your traumas, including your feelings surrounding them, and work with you to reframe your thoughts and equip you with some healthy coping mechanisms that you can take with you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[thetechscoop]

Your DSLR Can't Compete With These 5 Phones

Your DSLR Can't Compete With These 5 PhonesYour DSLR Can't Compete With These 5 Phonesthetechscoop.inSamsung Galaxy S23 UltraBurst1Dotquad-camera system with a 108MP main sensora 12MP ultrawide senso,a 10MP telephoto sensor, and a 10MP periscope telephoto sensorDotDot40MP front-facing cameraDotcapable of taking stunning photos and videos in a variety of conditionsApple iPhone 14 Pro MaxBurst2Dota triple-camera system with a 48MP main sensora 12MP ultrawide sensor, and a 12MP telephoto sensorDotDotIt also has a 12MP front-facing cameraDotcapable of taking excellent photos and videos in a variety of conditionsGoogle Pixel 7 ProBurst3Dota triple-camera system with a 50MP main sensoa 12MP ultrawide sensor, and a 48MP telephoto sensorDotDot11.2MP front-facing cameraknown for its excellent image processing, which can take great photos even in challenging conditionsDotHuawei P50 ProBurst4Dota quad-camera system with a 50MP main sensora 13MP ultrawide sensor, a 64MP telephoto sensor, and a 40MP monochrome sensorDotDota 13MP front-facing cameraknown for its excellent low-light photographyDotSony Xperia 1 IVBurst5Dota triple-camera system with a 12MP main sensora 12MP ultrawide sensor, and a 12MP telephoto sensorDotDota 8MP front-facing cameraDotknown for its excellent video recording capabilities1.  Please be aware that the superiority of a smartphone camera compared to a DSLR relies on various aspects such as sensor size, lens quality, and image processing software.2. DSLRs often possess larger sensors and superior lenses, while smartphones offer the benefit of portability and convenience. Jump RopeSee Full Specification hereVisit Usthetechscoop.in"As Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases Read the full article

[peterpositief]

We have a dream! Me, and @dado_garcia Proud & Happy #UequalsU couple that there will be soon an ‘International #UequalsU Day’ to celebrate this fact. We reach out to a big organisation as @preventionac to make this happen. We celebrate it every day and spread the word! Thanks #uequalsu #UequalsuInternationalDay #sciencenostigma #hivawereness @brichman @itmantwerp #sensoa #internationaluequalsuday

[petervoske-blog]

Graffiti wall @ Oude Beurs, Antwerp by sensoa 

[poetyca]

Storia sbiadita per memoria incerta - Faded history for uncertain memory

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[liselotte-vandenbussche]

Op 2 februari 2023 werd ik samen met theatermaker Maxime Dreesen en Wannes Magits van Sensoa geïnterviewd door Madonna Lenaert in LIDwoord, een panelgesprek over seksuele opvoeding op school. Place to be was het GUM, het Gentse Universiteitsmuseum.

Uitverkocht en uitermate boeiend was het, met veel geïnteresseerde leerkrachten in het publiek en inspirerende vragen en antwoorden!

[ilhamelouisamaria-blog]

Belgian sex education website for seven-year-olds slammed Breaking News

Belgian sex education website for seven-year-olds slammed Breaking News

Belgian sex education website for seven-year-olds slammed Breaking News

A Belgian sex education website featuring highly explicit drawings has come under fire after children as young as seven were recommended to view it.   

The bizarre website, called ‘Alles over seks’ (‘Everything about sex’), was launched by Sensoa, an expert centre for sexual health in the Belgian region of Flanders.

On the…

[justinrbeasley]

France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé

Un site internet spécialisé dans l’éducation s*xuelle a suscité de vives réactions à travers le pays. Et pour cause, il présenterait des images des plus inappropriées.   Domaine du site Alles-over-seks Le site Alles-over-seks (Tout sur le s*xe) appartient au centre flamand Sensoa spécialisé dans l’expertise sur la santé s*xuelle. Ce site est sponsorisé par […]

The post France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé appeared first on AfrikMag.

France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé published first on https://afrikmag.tumblr.com

[peterpositief]

Let's Talk Positive 2020

Let’s Talk Positive 2020

Unawareness = Unacceptable!We believe one of the meanings that the acronym U=U should expose to the whole world is: Unawareness = Unacceptable! Of course, U=U stands for #uequalsu , meaning Undetectable = Untransmittable. Meaning that an HIV positive person who has an undetectable viral load in his/her blood, is not contagious anymore in anyway and can’t transmit the HIV virus to someone else.…

[charlottjanderson]

France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé

Un site internet spécialisé dans l’éducation s*xuelle a suscité de vives réactions à travers le pays. Et pour cause, il présenterait des images des plus inappropriées.   Domaine du site Alles-over-seks Le site Alles-over-seks (Tout sur le s*xe) appartient au centre flamand Sensoa spécialisé dans l’expertise sur la santé s*xuelle. Ce site est sponsorisé par [...]

The post France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé appeared first on AfrikMag.

France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé published first on https://afrikmagz.blogspot.com

[afrikmag]

France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé

Un site internet spécialisé dans l’éducation s*xuelle a suscité de vives réactions à travers le pays. Et pour cause, il présenterait des images des plus inappropriées.   Domaine du site Alles-over-seks Le site Alles-over-seks (Tout sur le s*xe) appartient au centre flamand Sensoa spécialisé dans l’expertise sur la santé s*xuelle. Ce site est sponsorisé par [...]

The post France: Un site d’éducation s*xuelle suscite un tollé appeared first on AfrikMag.

[poetyca]

Senso - Sense

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[poetyca]

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[poetyca]

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[poetyca]

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[poetyca]

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