#Shia x G‘Raha

[usagi-mitsu]

I think I finally figured out why writing ShiaXGraha is so hard for me right now??

Ive been recording the ShB patch cutscenes to make a video. And I just got through 5.3 again and it made me cry. And like-

Its not that I don't like the idea of Shia and Graha together or that I'm not glad that he's still around. But his "death" and all they've been through broke Shias heart. (And mine, but that doesn't matter rn.)

But she didn't just like Graha. She loved the Exarch. She loved the man he had become, adored and hated and admired all he had done. And that man is gone.

Yes. He is still around and back in his young body. True. But now he's running around dressed like some J-rock idol, trying to reenact their first meeting and being shy and awkward like a teenager.

He's behaving more and more like the young man he once was - good for him. But Shia knew that version of him for only a short time compared to her time with the Exarch. And she's changed too: she has gone through HW, SB and all of ShB - shes matured. So the young, insecure GRaha just... they don't click right now. Maybe they will again in EW. Well see. But for now they'll probably just be... VERY awkward around one another.

[usagi-mitsu]

Prompt #14 Commend

Speaking about ones feelings is hard. In some cases, it‘s harder. But this conversation had been long overdue - and had not gotten easier with time…

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast // #ffxivwrite2021

Prompt #14 Commend

A continuation of Prompt #8 Friable.

Leaving the spoils of Shia‘s day out in the field behind, the two of them looked for a quiet room. Yes. Everybody was aware of the tensions between them. That did not mean they needed to hear them arguing. Or whatever else might occur.

G‘raha for one hoped they might clear the air. It had been abundantly clear that they needed to talk. Be it how she acted around him or much more, how she tried to avoid his company all together. He had been taken by surprise when she had showed up the day prior, asking if he could lend her an ear or both. That she initiated it was a heaven-sent – he had no idea how to start the conversation to begin with. And he had seemingly even less of an idea about how to have it. Which had ended with her shoving a chair and storming out on him. Half the Rising Stones witnessed it as he had tried to follow, to reason. But that had only enraged her further. She had then been gone for another day and a half. Had Thancred not told him she was back, G‘Raha wouldn‘t have noticed for probably another day or so.

They finally found a quiet space in the back of their headquarters. The front still was a tavern after all and the insides where they resided now had belonged to it, serving as guestbooks and conference areas of sort. But with Mor Dhona not exactly having been a tourist attraction or a centre of commerce (at least not before the Scions arrived), the owner of the tavern gladly offered the space to Minfilla, when she asked.

The rooms walls had been hidden behind bookshelves, with a couch in the back. Where there should have been a pool table though, they found just a simple wooden desk with two chairs. It did feel a bit like they were about to interrogate each other.

Shia knew how to remedy that though. Her eyes searched and found one of the shelves, where she pulled out a thick book.

„Whisky?“

Opening it, the insides revealed not the contents of „The Ishgardian-Limsan Sex and Cook Book and How to Raise Morbols“, but two glasses and a bottle filled with a golden liquid.

G‘Raha simply nodded.

„Do I want to know how you know about this?“

She grinned while pouring. „Thancred and I have had our arguments over the years. This is one of the things we agree on and whenever either of us needs some me-time or if we have to discuss things and such, we get this. And then we discuss. Or just drink. It depends on the topic. And the one having the last of it, has to replace the bottle. It‘s quite the convenient arrangement.“

„I can tell.“

A careful sniff on the glass almost curled his nose hair backwards. This was strong stuff.

„To us,“ Shia sat down and raised her drink. He joined her at the table, clinking his glass to hers.

„To us.“

For a minute they were just silent. The taste of the whisky had caught G‘raha off of his guard – even though he had thoroughly taken in it‘s scent before. He needed that minute to stop coughing.

„You know you are not supposed to inhale this, right? It‘s for drinking.“

The grin in Shia‘s voice was hard to overhear.

„Please don‘t mind me,“ he replied the moment he could catch his breath, „I‘m just the one with the body that hasn‘t had any alcohol in months.“

„I‘m sorry,“ Shia amended, „I promise to consider my words more carefully from now on … well. At least for this conversation.“

And they were back on topic.

„I‘m sorry for yesterday. I had hoped to speak to you about this much earlier, but I never had the courage to do so.“ Shia kept her voice as quiet and controlled as she could, even though the thought of speaking her thoughts out loud made her want to scream and run away. Running away from her problems though had never solved them. Or it had at least that one time when they were running from the brass blades and-

She shook her head. Stay on topic!

G‘Raha seemingly hadn‘t noticed her thoughts trailing off. „Thank you for initiating. I realise that this is not an easy conversation and I commend you for starting it. I would like to apologise for not being in the right mindset yesterday. This could have gone far better.“

„It wasn‘t your fault alone. As I mentioned before, my ego is brittle and you managed to hit some spots that I was hoping you would not. Then again… you were right and I should not have reacted like this.“

„Your ego is not brittle,“ he deliberately took another sip from his glass, „if it was, I highly doubt people like Lolorito or Varis zos Galvus would still be walking this earth.“

„You forget that Varis has kicked the bucked a few weeks ago.“

„Not by your hand.“

„But I would have loved to be the one to do it.“

„You should tell Zenos whenever you next meet him.“

Shia cackled. „Yes. I‘ll say „how dare you kill your father and not letting me do it“! And he might even apologise before trying to kill me – again.“

„You just occupy a very special place in his hear. He adores you, or so I have heard.“

„He is a homicidal maniac with a tendency to gut people, overthrow empires and burn countries to the ground but sure. Let‘s say he adores me. Perhaps I should ask him for a ring and a ceremony of eternal bonding and then we have a „Kill Jill“ style fight on our wedding night. Might end this whole world ending business early.“

„And what about Fandaniel?“

„He can be our target practice instead of having a cake?“

„Sounds lovely.“

„Yeah…“

The two of them fell silent once more.

Shia was the one bring them back to their previous conversation topic.

„Right. So. If I may, I would like to just… I would like to just say what‘s been on my mind? If that is ok? It‘s a lot and I know we don‘t have all the time in the world and we-„

„Shia,“ G‘Raha leaned forward. Very gently he took her hand in his. „We will take all the time we need to get this right. All that matters is the outcome, alright?“

She nodded.

And finally spilled it all.

What she had felt for him when they had been researching the Crystal Tower. How she felt when he decided to lock himself away. How Haurchefant and the Scions had helped her get him off of her mind.

About the feelings she had been hiding form a certain Lord Commander and how she had hoped to finally be over him, when he „decided“ to just barge back into her life and rescue her from the battlefield.

About her fear and dread as the Scions, her closest and possibly only real friends in this world, slipped away one after another with no cure or solution in sight.

Her anger and hatred towards the Crystal Exarch, as he was the one responsible for her fears and worries.

How she came to care about him against her own better judgement.

How it hurt when he tried to safe her, only for him to get abducted by her fiercest enemy. She told him about the relief and happiness at his return.

What that night in the pendants truly meant to her.

And about the hurt and anger at his refusal to be together with her, when he had clearly stated that he felt just the same.

How afraid of loosing him she was once more, when she saw him half encased in crystal. And how it broke her heart to see him die then and there atop the tower.

About her reservations before merging his memories with his younger body.

And finally about how all of this hurt. That it hurt so much, she still wasn‘t able to think clearly about it all.

„You were gone. Then you were back. Then you pushed me away. And then you almost died, actually died and now you are back and now you continuously follow me on my missions – you reenacted our very first meeting, Raha! I just… I just can‘t. And it‘s not like this is the only thing on my mind: I‘m still helping out at the Bozjan southern front. The fourth imperial legion is a nightmare to deal with. And don‘t let me get started with Gaius‘ family troubles-“

„Gaius as in… van Baelsar?“ G‘Raha had not dared interrupt her until now, but this one thing he needed confirmed.

„The one and only.“

„I would like to hear more about that when we have finished this conversation, if you don‘t mind. It sounds… interesting.“

„I‘ll tell you all about it – afterwards.“ Shia groaned and hid her face in her hands. „So… to sum it up… these last few weeks, months have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I love you. I want to love you. But I don‘t know what you feel and you have not exactly been forthcoming about it. To distract myself I jumped into work and just… I didn’t want to think about this. I really didn‘t. I still don‘t want to. Having this conversation is overdue, but I‘m so afraid of what comes next. I‘m so afraid, Raha. And then again I‘m not even sure if I should like you! You are the one responsible for almost loosing my best friends – my family! And you almost killed yourself with your plan and-“

Her last words were drowned out by a sob and to G’Rahas horror she began to cry.

„And… and all of that on top of us having to save the world.“

Her last words were almost inaudible. Thick tears rolled form her baby blue eyes while she kept on sobbing uncontrollably.

G‘Raha wasn‘t sure what to do, but he followed his instincts. He was quicker on his feet than he thought he could be and had his arms around her within the blink of an eye.

And for a few minutes they just stood there, arm in arm with Shia sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

After everything she had just told him, after having to bottle all of this up, it wasn‘t really a surprise to him. Had she ever allowed herself to be vulnerable with anyone before? Like this? Not just speaking about her worries for the politics and battles fo the world. But also about her worries, feelings, hopes and dreams?

„I‘m here,“ he whispered, „I‘m here Shia. Iti‘s ok. I‘m here.“ It was all he could do: Reassuring her, that she was not alone. That she did not need to suffer on her own. That it would be ok.

Shia gripped him tighter and only let go after what felt like an eternity.

„I‘m sorry…“ she sniffed and looked at him. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks puffy and red. She had probably worn at least some mascara, which now outlined that path of her tears across her face to her chin.

„No… I‘m sorry. I can‘t really take the blame for all the things that happened in the world, but at least for my part in it… yet…“ he took a deep breath and tightened his hold around her, „to be frank, I think I would do it all again if I had to.“

She nodded, still sniffling.

„The world depended on it. And I would not be here, if you hadn‘t done it… So being mad about that is actually a bit stupid.“

„It is by no means stupid.“

„Let‘s just agree on that. But…“ Shia looked up, brows furrowed, „where do we go from here?“

They were still locked in a tight embrace. His shoulder wet with her tears and her eyes seemingly ready to spill over once again at a moments notice.

The two of them exchanged uncertain glances. A moment went by. And then another. Until G‘raha gently let go.

„I cannot say that I am good at any of this,“ he confessed, „but how about we start where everything should start? Right at the beginning?“

Shia must have looked more than confused, but he smiled and grabbed her hand.

„My name is G‘Raha Tia. I am over 300 years old and have lived through at least one apocalypse. My body though belongs to the 24 years old me from this timeline – did I mention I‘m from another time and another dimension?“

Shia giggled.

„I am now a member of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. It is my wish to support them in their every endeavour to protect the interests of this star. My idol is the Warrior of Light, a fierce fighter committed to the protection of their star. Fighting alongside them is my dearest wish.“

He paused.

„And whom do I have the pleasure with?“

It took her a moment to respond. But when she finally did, she did so with a smile.

„I‘m Shia Tamriel, Warrior of Light and resident trouble maker. But you can call me Shia.“

„It‘s a pleasure.“

It would be a new beginning. A fresh start. And finally, they would continue on together.

A continuation of Prompt #8 Friable.

Leaving the spoils of Shia‘s day out in the field behind, the two of them looked for a quiet room. Yes. Everybody was aware of the tensions between them. That did not mean they needed to hear them arguing. Or whatever else might occur.

G‘raha for one hoped they might clear the air. It had been abundantly clear that they needed to talk. Be it how she acted around him or much more, how she tried to avoid his company all together. He had been taken by surprise when she had showed up the day prior, asking if he could lend her an ear or both. That she initiated it was a heaven-sent – he had no idea how to start the conversation to begin with. And he had seemingly even less of an idea about how to have it. Which had ended with her shoving a chair and storming out on him. Half the Rising Stones witnessed it as he had tried to follow, to reason. But that had only enraged her further. She had then been gone for another day and a half. Had Thancred not told him she was back, G‘Raha wouldn‘t have noticed for probably another day or so.

They finally found a quiet space in the back of their headquarters. The front still was a tavern after all and the insides where they resided now had belonged to it, serving as guestbooks and conference areas of sort. But with Mor Dhona not exactly having been a tourist attraction or a centre of commerce (at least not before the Scions arrived), the owner of the tavern gladly offered the space to Minfilla, when she asked.

The rooms walls had been hidden behind bookshelves, with a couch in the back. Where there should have been a pool table though, they found just a simple wooden desk with two chairs. It did feel a bit like they were about to interrogate each other.

Shia knew how to remedy that though. Her eyes searched and found one of the shelves, where she pulled out a thick book.

„Whisky?“

Opening it, the insides revealed not the contents of „The Ishgardian-Limsan Sex and Cook Book and How to Raise Morbols“, but two glasses and a bottle filled with a golden liquid.

G‘Raha simply nodded.

„Do I want to know how you know about this?“

She grinned while pouring. „Thancred and I have had our arguments over the years. This is one of the things we agree on and whenever either of us needs some me-time or if we have to discuss things and such, we get this. And then we discuss. Or just drink. It depends on the topic. And the one having the last of it, has to replace the bottle. It‘s quite the convenient arrangement.“

„I can tell.“

A careful sniff on the glass almost curled his nose hair backwards. This was strong stuff.

„To us,“ Shia sat down and raised her drink. He joined her at the table, clinking his glass to hers.

„To us.“

For a minute they were just silent. The taste of the whisky had caught G‘raha off of his guard – even though he had thoroughly taken in it‘s scent before. He needed that minute to stop coughing.

„You know you are not supposed to inhale this, right? It‘s for drinking.“

The grin in Shia‘s voice was hard to overhear.

„Please don‘t mind me,“ he replied the moment he could catch his breath, „I‘m just the one with the body that hasn‘t had any alcohol in months.“

„I‘m sorry,“ Shia amended, „I promise to consider my words more carefully from now on … well. At least for this conversation.“

And they were back on topic.

„I‘m sorry for yesterday. I had hoped to speak to you about this much earlier, but I never had the courage to do so.“ Shia kept her voice as quiet and controlled as she could, even though the thought of speaking her thoughts out loud made her want to scream and run away. Running away from her problems though had never solved them. Or it had at least that one time when they were running from the brass blades and-

She shook her head. Stay on topic!

G‘Raha seemingly hadn‘t noticed her thoughts trailing off. „Thank you for initiating. I realise that this is not an easy conversation and I commend you for starting it. I would like to apologise for not being in the right mindset yesterday. This could have gone far better.“

„It wasn‘t your fault alone. As I mentioned before, my ego is brittle and you managed to hit some spots that I was hoping you would not. Then again… you were right and I should not have reacted like this.“

„Your ego is not brittle,“ he deliberately took another sip from his glass, „if it was, I highly doubt people like Lolorito or Varis zos Galvus would still be walking this earth.“

„You forget that Varis has kicked the bucked a few weeks ago.“

„Not by your hand.“

„But I would have loved to be the one to do it.“

„You should tell Zenos whenever you next meet him.“

Shia cackled. „Yes. I‘ll say „how dare you kill your father and not letting me do it“! And he might even apologise before trying to kill me – again.“

„You just occupy a very special place in his hear. He adores you, or so I have heard.“

„He is a homicidal maniac with a tendency to gut people, overthrow empires and burn countries to the ground but sure. Let‘s say he adores me. Perhaps I should ask him for a ring and a ceremony of eternal bonding and then we have a „Kill Jill“ style fight on our wedding night. Might end this whole world ending business early.“

„And what about Fandaniel?“

„He can be our target practice instead of having a cake?“

„Sounds lovely.“

„Yeah…“

The two of them fell silent once more.

Shia was the one bring them back to their previous conversation topic.

„Right. So. If I may, I would like to just… I would like to just say what‘s been on my mind? If that is ok? It‘s a lot and I know we don‘t have all the time in the world and we-„

„Shia,“ G‘Raha leaned forward. Very gently he took her hand in his. „We will take all the time we need to get this right. All that matters is the outcome, alright?“

She nodded.

And finally spilled it all.

What she had felt for him when they had been researching the Crystal Tower. How she felt when he decided to lock himself away. How Haurchefant and the Scions had helped her get him off of her mind.

About the feelings she had been hiding form a certain Lord Commander and how she had hoped to finally be over him, when he „decided“ to just barge back into her life and rescue her from the battlefield.

About her fear and dread as the Scions, her closest and possibly only real friends in this world, slipped away one after another with no cure or solution in sight.

Her anger and hatred towards the Crystal Exarch, as he was the one responsible for her fears and worries.

How she came to care about him against her own better judgement.

How it hurt when he tried to safe her, only for him to get abducted by her fiercest enemy. She told him about the relief and happiness at his return.

What that night in the pendants truly meant to her.

And about the hurt and anger at his refusal to be together with her, when he had clearly stated that he felt just the same.

How afraid of loosing him she was once more, when she saw him half encased in crystal. And how it broke her heart to see him die then and there atop the tower.

About her reservations before merging his memories with his younger body.

And finally about how all of this hurt. That it hurt so much, she still wasn‘t able to think clearly about it all.

„You were gone. Then you were back. Then you pushed me away. And then you almost died, actually died and now you are back and now you continuously follow me on my missions – you reenacted our very first meeting, Raha! I just… I just can‘t. And it‘s not like this is the only thing on my mind: I‘m still helping out at the Bozjan southern front. The fourth imperial legion is a nightmare to deal with. And don‘t let me get started with Gaius‘ family troubles-“

„Gaius as in… van Baelsar?“ G‘Raha had not dared interrupt her until now, but this one thing he needed confirmed.

„The one and only.“

„I would like to hear more about that when we have finished this conversation, if you don‘t mind. It sounds… interesting.“

„I‘ll tell you all about it – afterwards.“ Shia groaned and hid her face in her hands. „So… to sum it up… these last few weeks, months have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I love you. I want to love you. But I don‘t know what you feel and you have not exactly been forthcoming about it. To distract myself I jumped into work and just… I didn’t want to think about this. I really didn‘t. I still don‘t want to. Having this conversation is overdue, but I‘m so afraid of what comes next. I‘m so afraid, Raha. And then again I‘m not even sure if I should like you! You are the one responsible for almost loosing my best friends – my family! And you almost killed yourself with your plan and-“

Her last words were drowned out by a sob and to G’Rahas horror she began to cry.

„And… and all of that on top of us having to save the world.“

Her last words were almost inaudible. Thick tears rolled form her baby blue eyes while she kept on sobbing uncontrollably.

G‘Raha wasn‘t sure what to do, but he followed his instincts. He was quicker on his feet than he thought he could be and had his arms around her within the blink of an eye.

And for a few minutes they just stood there, arm in arm with Shia sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

After everything she had just told him, after having to bottle all of this up, it wasn‘t really a surprise to him. Had she ever allowed herself to be vulnerable with anyone before? Like this? Not just speaking about her worries for the politics and battles fo the world. But also about her worries, feelings, hopes and dreams?

„I‘m here,“ he whispered, „I‘m here Shia. Iti‘s ok. I‘m here.“ It was all he could do: Reassuring her, that she was not alone. That she did not need to suffer on her own. That it would be ok.

Shia gripped him tighter and only let go after what felt like an eternity.

„I‘m sorry…“ she sniffed and looked at him. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks puffy and red. She had probably worn at least some mascara, which now outlined that path of her tears across her face to her chin.

„No… I‘m sorry. I can‘t really take the blame for all the things that happened in the world, but at least for my part in it… yet…“ he took a deep breath and tightened his hold around her, „to be frank, I think I would do it all again if I had to.“

She nodded, still sniffling.

„The world depended on it. And I would not be here, if you hadn‘t done it… So being mad about that is actually a bit stupid.“

„It is by no means stupid.“

„Let‘s just agree on that. But…“ Shia looked up, brows furrowed, „where do we go from here?“

They were still locked in a tight embrace. His shoulder wet with her tears and her eyes seemingly ready to spill over once again at a moments notice.

The two of them exchanged uncertain glances. A moment went by. And then another. Until G‘raha gently let go.

„I cannot say that I am good at any of this,“ he confessed, „but how about we start where everything should start? Right at the beginning?“

Shia must have looked more than confused, but he smiled and grabbed her hand.

„My name is G‘Raha Tia. I am over 300 years old and have lived through at least one apocalypse. My body though belongs to the 24 years old me from this timeline – did I mention I‘m from another time and another dimension?“

Shia giggled.

„I am now a member of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. It is my wish to support them in their every endeavour to protect the interests of this star. My idol is the Warrior of Light, a fierce fighter committed to the protection of their star. Fighting alongside them is my dearest wish.“

He paused.

„And whom do I have the pleasure with?“

It took her a moment to respond. But when she finally did, she did so with a smile.

„I‘m Shia Tamriel, Warrior of Light and resident trouble maker. But you can call me Shia.“

„It‘s a pleasure.“

It would be a new beginning. A fresh start. And finally, they would continue on together.