#Simon casually crying blood on Christmas

[starlessskies94]

Gone for Good. (Negan/BlakeAU)

So a few days ago the lovely @scarletthart96 asked if I could do a second part to my other oneshot ‘Gone, Lost and Forever Broken’ so here it is...I reworked this with an old piece of writing I did years ago because I feel like the tone was very similar to what I was going for. I just hope it’s not terrible. @neganandblake I hurt your babies again I’m sorry but I’m big on the angst :D hehe <3 @scarletthart96 I hope this is okay for what you had in mind and doesn’t disappoint <3

(GIF Credit belongs to owners)

Gone for Good.

 It was that time of year again and everyone was thankful for the break. Christmas had quickly come and gone and the invites had soon after been sent out, just like last year and the year before. The room buzzed with life as music flowed through the speakers along with the joyful sound of everyone that had attended. Families, friends and colleagues danced, sang and drank away the last minutes of the year that they were about to leave behind. 

The colourful decorations filled the room along with balloons that had somehow floated up towards the ceiling, as they watched the happy crowds celebrate below them. Voices hummed into one another until it was too loud to hear yourself think. As the booze continued to flow so did the conversation. Simon’s New Year's Eve party was always something to talk about the next morning. The laughs and joyful banter echoing throughout the room, with smiles on guest's faces proving that they were clearly having a good time.

That is... all but one. The lonely man that stood silently watching the celebration from afar. Taking a deep breath, he fiddled with the empty champagne glass in his hand while the other stayed in his pocket as he leaned with his back against the wall.

They'd been fighting a lot over the last couple of months. Thinking back now he couldn't even remember what it was about. Separating seemed like the right thing to do for them at the time. But standing here in a crowd of people without her, he'd never felt more alone. More than once he'd been approached by someone, whether it be a colleague wishing him a happy new year or a friend offering a word or two of comfort. Each time he'd been the same, forcing a small smile of thanks before retreating back to his corner away from the crowds. Silly of him to think that going would've lifted his spirits. If anything it broke his fragile heart even more.

For a second a genuine smile found him as he watched his friends enjoying themselves. Arat trying to convince Simon to dance, each time managing to get him to the dance floor before he'd chicken out and head back to their table. But his smile quickly faded as he silently prayed that she could be here too. Having fun and smiling. God he missed her smile… He missed her.

As the last few seconds slipped away, he was given another glass to toast the New Year. People gathered on the dance floor ready to welcome a new start.

He watched couples come together as the lights dimmed and the music faded into united chants counting down the seconds.

In that moment he felt numb. Foolish. She should be here, she should be stood here in his arms welcoming the New Year they were supposed to spend together. But it was all over now, all gone and he couldn't understand why.

With each second he felt another crack in his heart as it ached calling out for her.

TEN!

NINE!

He should have fought, should have held on…but he didn't.

EIGHT!

SEVEN!

Did she miss him too? Was she as miserable and heartbroken as he was? He couldn't know but he knew he needed to see her.

SIX!

FIVE!

Maybe they could fix it. Whatever went wrong, maybe they still had a chance. But how can you fix something when you don't know what caused it to break?

FOUR!

THREE!

He was tired. Tired of being alone, having to live without her. He just couldn't do it anymore. He needed to see her, just to hear her voice again.

TWO!

ONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Cheers and laughter filled the room as a shower of confetti fell from the ceiling. Kisses and hugs were exchanged between couples and friends as they toasted to the New Year. Downing his drink, he quickly rushed out the building bursting out onto the sidewalk as he hailed down a taxi.

Traveling through the city streets, he glanced out the window to see the city alive with celebration. Every restaurant, club; all bubbling with well-wishers and party goers. His nerves ran high as his hands trembled with anticipation. Pulling up at her apartment building he jumped out of the car, racing up the stairs before coming face to face with her front door.

He didn't hesitate as he knocked. Clenching his hands and tapping his feet impatiently as he waited while panting for lost breath.

The door slowly opened to reveal her standing there in her casual wear with a look of confusion in her eyes. She glanced at him stood in her doorway dressed in his suit, panting like he'd just run a marathon.

“Negan…what are you-"

"I can't do this! Okay I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the fighting, I'm sorry I'm so goddamn stubborn. I'm sorry for whatever went wrong!” He stuttered, every word tumbling from his mouth before he could stop to breathe.

He took a hold of her hands; his grip gentle but tight. She could feel them trembling as he continued, his every word rushed and breathless; he’d more or least rehearsed this in his head during the drive over. But standing here, now right in front of the woman he was so afraid to lose again…the words held new weight that he could feel in every heartbeat.

“All I know is that I want to fix this, I can't just walk away Peaches. It's too hard. I know we said that being apart was for the best but it's killing me. I can't stand the thought of you hating me because of all this.” He said desperately. Blake moved to speak but Negan stopped her. His hands squeezing hers a little harder. “You want to yell? Cry? Call me names? Hell fucking throw things at me?! That's fine, I'll take it. But don't give up on this, don't give up me. Please!"

She didn't say anything. Not even the words he'd wanted to hear. Instead with tear-stained cheeks she stepped back towards her door. Her hands untangling themselves from his grip.

“Negan…I…I can’t…”Blake paused. Both their eyes moving to rest on the jacket and boots laid in her hallway. Negan faltered, his breath catching in his throat.

Of course she was seeing someone else. It had been months since they’d broken up, what had he expected? She wasn’t happy with him and never would be and it high time Negan realized and accepted that.

“Shit Peaches…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- Fuck!” He cursed himself for being so goddamn stupid to actually think that she’d want him back. His blood ran cold, heartbeat echoing in his ears as he backed away from the door.

“I shouldn’t have come here…I’m sorry.” He held back the tears; refusing to cry in front of her. He didn’t by any means feel strong enough to try but he’d damn well pretend for the sake of his pride.

Looking at her now. Blake wasn’t his anymore and he’d been missing the woman that didn’t exist. She’d changed. And he’d been chasing memories, mourning a love that didn’t exist anymore.

He saw the look in her eyes. The pity in those deep green orbs and for a moment he hated her for it. He didn’t want her fucking pity and hated himself for embarrassing himself like this. For being so damn weak for something Blake didn’t even want anymore.

It wasn’t fair. On either of them.

“I should go, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Negan, please don’t go…” Blake begged, once against passing the threshold to comfort him; her heart breaking as he flinched away.

“No it’s okay…it was a mistake coming here…Happy New Year Peac-Blake.”

With that Negan left, never once looking back. But Blake watched him leave and with every agonizing second she was desperate to call him back. To hold him, kiss him again. Tell him she was sorry, that she wanted to fix everything just as much as he did. But she didn’t.

Instead Blake retreated to the quiet isolation of her lonely apartment, the New Year celebrations playing out on the muted TV screen that illuminated her living room. And with silent tears, the blonde moved to pick up her vibrating cell phone. Sniffling away the ache in her chest as watery eyes read the text from a man that didn’t deserve her. Didn’t treat her right and certainly didn’t love her as much as Negan ever would.

David. She felt sick the more she thought about it. The man would never be satisfied with anything she did. She would never be good enough in his eyes. And yet she’d had stayed. Put it with everything he did and said, never once striking back.

There was no going back now that Negan knew. No chance to explain. To tell him that by losing him; had she then realized how much she loved him. That the love was still there…

He’d been gone mere seconds and Blake already missed him. This was their second chance and she had let it walk out and leave her alone. And this time she had a feeling he was gone for good.

[humansunshineao3]

You’re Only As Old As You Feel

Alec has always been fascinated by Magnus' stories about the past, and all the historical figures he's encountered. Shame almost none of them are true.

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Magnus Bane

Pairing: Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane

Read here on AO3

Alec wasn’t sure he’d ever been to Simon’s place before. It was a glorified shed, tucked in a corner of the docks opposite the Jade Wolf; Alec was sure he’d remember knocking on the huge iron door. If it were up to him he wouldn’t be here at all, but Magnus needed more vampire hair, and Simon needed a haircut, and had promised Magnus the cuttings in exchange for Magnus’ help buying some new clothes.

Magnus had a last minute meeting with a client,one who’d called in the middle of the night and spoke in quick, furtive tones, and so Magnus had been busy brewing in his apothecary all day. Alec figured he’d swing by to Simon’s and pick up the hair on his way back from the institute. He liked doing Magnus favours. He always looked surprised when Alec handed him a gift or did something unexpected; no matter how long they’d been together, there was a part of Magnus that couldn’t quite believe that Alec wanted to do things for him.

Simon was taking ages to answer the door. Was he in? Alec knocked again, and listened for movement on the other side. He could vaguely hear some shouting coming from the other side of the door, and in a few more seconds it was wrenched open, Simon looking harassed as he stuck his head out. “Alec?”

“Hey,” Alec nodded, digging his hands in his pockets. “Are you alright?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I was just playing video games. What’s up?” Alec couldn’t blame Simon for looking worried; the two of them had literally nothing in common, and it wasn’t like they were particularly close. He probably thought Clary had been kidnapped by the monster of the week or something.

“I just came by to pick up that hair for Magnus? Is that alright? Just thought I’d do something nice for him.” Alec explained, and a grin broke out on Simon’s face.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. You guys are so freakin’ cute I can’t cope. Come on in, man.”

Alec smiled a little as Simon led him inside, having gotten used to Simon’s intense enthusiasm for everything Magnus-and-Alec by now. “You’ve got a nice set-up in here. I thought it’d be damp and gross.”

“It is, kinda,” Simon shrugged, looking around at the grey concrete walls, “but it’s home. It’s better now I’ve got a proper bed and a TV. Do you play video games?”

“Not really,” Alec answered, “went to the arcade a few times with my Aunt in San Fran when I was a kid, but I wasn’t ever that interested.”

“I guess when you can kill weird monsters in real life, most video games lose their charm, huh?”

Alec smirked. “Something like that. What are you playing?” On the screen was a figure dressed in rags, armed to the teeth with bows and blades. There were lots of statistics next to him, and Alec perched on the arm of the sofa to take a closer look.

“Oh, Assassin’s Creed. Hey, you’d probably like it. You use a bow and shit. Check it out,” Simon vaulted over the back of the sofa and grabbed the controller, coming out of the menu and going back into the game. “See, right now I have to kill everyone in this camp and grab some information.”

Simon had his guy hidden in the bushes, inching round the camp and picking them off one by one. Alec watched him for a few moments, his head tilted to the side.

“That’s not very efficient.” Alec hummed, “you should go up on that high building in the middle and just shoot them all with arrows. There’s less chance of you getting hit that way.”

“Well, of course you’d say that.” Simon chuckled, pausing the game again and going to the controls tutorial. “Here, try it. You got time, right?”

Alec checked his watch. Magnus wasn’t going to be done until six, and it was only 4.30. He took the controller from Simon. “Yeah, I’ve got time.” He shrugged, turning his attention to the weird knobs on the controller.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, I can sort of see why mundanes like video games. Although these bows and arrows are bullshit; you don’t have to account for wind or anything. A child could do this.”

“Says the guy who got killed in the first thirty seconds after running out of arrows.” Simon teased, watching Alec’s eyes flick across the screen with amusement. He’d never seen Alec so engaged in anything frivolous. It was nice to see him like this, enjoying something and not thinking about something life threatening or world-ending.

“Listen, the controls are hard to get used to, I am a novice, give me a break,” Alec tutted, “oh shit, is that supposed to be THE Cleopatra?”

Simon nodded, “yeah, yeah, you work with historical figures in each Assassin’s Creed game. This one is pretty cool, it’s the most ancient one, it’s set in like… 300BC or something, I don’t know. A long ass time ago.”

“Wait…” Alec paused the game, and narrowed his eyes at Simon. “I thought Cleopatra was around like 400 years ago.”

Simon tilted his head to the side. ”They don’t teach mundane history at the Clave schools, huh?”

“But…” Alec frowned, “Magnus said that he slept with Cleopatra. He references it at like, every opportunity. And his file says he’s no more than 450 years old.”

“Oh my God…” Simon pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “You… You know Magnus is full of shit, right? Like… Half of his stories are utter bullshit? Did you not know that?”

Alec’s eyes widened. “So he didn’t sleep with Michelangelo either?!”

Simon threw back his head and laughed. “Oh, Alec, my sweet Prince of the shadow world… No. No, he did not.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, hot stuff!” Alec called as he let himself into the apartment a little while later, “where are you?”

“In the kitchen!” Magnus replied, and Alec followed the sound of his voice, trying to keep the smirk off his face. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Alec hummed, kissing his boyfriend softly on his mouth. “I have something for you.”

Magnus’ face lit up like it always did when Alec surprised him, and Alec couldn’t resist kissing his cheek as he pulled the jar of Simon’s hair from behind his back. Magnus took it from him and gave him a gentle hug. “That was very sweet of you, Alexander. Thank you.”

“It’s no big deal, I just swung by Simon’s place on the way home from work, thought I’d save you the portal. I actually had a good time hanging out with him.” Alec admitted, picking up the wooden spoon next to the stove to stir whatever delicious concoction Magnus had been making. He gave it a taste and hummed. “You’ve had this cooking all day, haven’t you?”

“Made it right after you went to work,” Magnus shrugged, wrapping his arms around Alec from behind. “What did you and Simon talk about?”

Alec smirked, keeping his tone casual. “Well, he was playing this video game about Ancient Egypt, it was very educational.”

“Yeah?” Magnus asked, distracted by the soft kisses he was pressing to the nape of Alec’s neck.

“Mmmhm… It even had Cleopatra in it. Your old friend Cleo.”

Magnus hummed, pressing his nose into Alec’s hairline. “Wonder if they got her face right.”

Alec laughed, turning around in Magnus’ arms. “You’re so full of shit. He told me that Cleopatra was around like 2,000 years ago, and I know you can’t time travel.” He poked Magnus in the side. “I can’t believe I believed that you actually made out with Cleopatra.”

Magnus at least had the grace to look sheepish. “It’s cute when you believe those stories. I couldn’t resist.”

“It’s cute that you think 400 years of life isn’t impressive enough.” Alec snorted, his hands stroking Magnus’ sides. “I couldn’t believe it when Simon told me. I was like ‘NO!’ Simon was laughing so hard he almost started crying blood.”

Magnus laughed, stroking Alec’s cheek. “I’m sorry I made you look foolish in front of your new best friend.”

“Nah, it was kinda funny. I should’ve clocked that not all those stories could have been true. I mean, your line about the Dead Sea…”

“If I’m being honest, I use that line every chance I get.” Magnus admitted.

Alec pulled away, and grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard, holding it up with a floppy wrist. “I was alive,” he said in an melodramatically foppish voice, “when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Magnus whined, plucking the wine glass from Alec’s hand. “Alright, alright, now you have teasing material, at least have some grace about it.”

“Nope,” Alec insisted, popping the ‘p’. “I’m never letting this go.”

Magnus groaned, burying his face in Alec’s chest. “I should’ve known better to try and pull a fast one on you.”

“Oh, also, I know what I want for Christmas.” Alec announced, running his fingers across the short hair on the back of Magnus’ head.

“Yeah?”

“I want an Xbox One. I had fun playing with Simon, and he said if I had my own we could each play in our own houses but together, which would be cool because then I could turn off his small talk if I wanted.” Alec explained, eyes alight with childish excitement, and Magnus smiled, going on his tiptoes to kiss his nose.

“I can do that.”

Alec sighed happily, kissing Magnus’ cheek. “So… Which stories were actually true?”

Magnus grinned. “Well I did actually kidnap Marie Antoinette in a hot air balloon…”

[unkindnessofone]

Second Hand Shoes

I just wrote what came out because I am in the middle of a block. Hope this is alright.

“What do you mean?” As someone who took great pride in how she represented herself both in business and in personal matters, Simone was a whiz when it came to controlling her voice. She knew exactly when to raise the pitch or which words to emphasize when she spoke. Hastily, she asked her husband over speaker phone while she dressed in a small coffee shop bathroom. She had left the New York their suite barley put together since the nanny for Molly and Connor were late and she had a meeting at Henri Bendel just two blocks from the cafe in a matter of minutes. Simone was wrestling with a thin hook on the band of her emerald high-waisted pants, but her mind was occupied on the disappointing facts her husband was casually sharing over the phone. “His birthday is next week. How are you only telling me now that you won't make it? Is there some unforeseen end of March snowstorm coming to Asia that is going to keep you from making it to New York?”

With the help of Skye, Simone and Ashton kept their schedule meticulously planned. If there was a second unaccounted for it was time designated for them to do whatever they wanted or to be blessing one anothers bones. They both had busy careers and they had two children that they refused to neglect due to their hectic lives. Simone was kind, relaxed, and forgiving, but she could never fathom how Ashton's agenda could simply just change at a moment's notice. It drove her crazy. She spent many drunk nights on velvet couches ranting about it with her good friend, Grace Clifford, who shared the same anger she did about the matter.

“No. They put a second date on March 30th.”

“Well, they clearly checked with you first ... “

“Just because you work for yourself doesn't mean everyone does...” Ashton could feel tensions rising and beat his wife to overflowing. “I don't get the final say all the time. There's management, there's other people in the band... This was out of my hands, Sim.”

“I don't believe that.” Simone refuted as she finally locked her pants on around her hips, glancing over them in the poorly lit mirror for a split second. Ashton was a passionate father. It trumped music for him. Simone knew that nothing, no boss in a fancy suit, could keep him from his kids if he wanted to be there for them. “You were the one who made me promise we would never miss important dates for the kids.”

“He's turning three, Sim. It's not like he is going to remember.” Ashton pinched at his forehead, leaning against the glass window of the hotel room he was in on the other side of the world. His hair flopped before his eyes. There was nothing Simone could say that would make him feel worse than he already did. He felt like an absolute asshole for missing his son's birthday. His friends tried to soften the blow, reminding him of all the things they had missed out on before, but what hurt Ashton the most was that he didn't realize the extra date conflicted with Connor's April 1st birthday until after he had agreed to it.

“Well when he sees pictures of his petting zoo birthday party and you're not in them, yeah, he might remember.” She was so close to losing her temper, but the fact that she had a very important pitch to go to kept her from blowing up. Simone rolled up the sleeves of her white blouse, checking the rings from her new collection on her fingers as she did and practiced mindful breathing. “I have to go, Ash. I love you, I'm just....this is outrageous. It's not fair to Connor, but I know you know that.” She picked up her phone that was resting on the sink's edge by the hot faucet and turned the speaker off, holding it to her ear and pressing the small yellow gold hoop into her cheek.

“I know. I feel like shit about it.”

“Well, you're the one who has to live with this. If it can't be changed, it can't be changed, but I have to go.” Simone sighed into the phone. She hated arguing with Ashton. They so rarely engaged in conflict with one another and it never felt right. The duo was so convinced that they belonged together that they felt like different people when they didn't see eye to eye.

“Good luck.” Ashton murmured. He always wished her the best when she had a meeting, every time, even though he knew she never needed it. Simone was a force of talent. It ran through her veins like blood and she could not be denied when it came to her art, her vision, and her goals.

“Yeah, you too.” This time, she knew he needed it. If his work was coming before his family, Simone knew things were not going well.

They exchanged gentle 'I love you's' and then Simone hung up, throwing her phone into her Birkin and rushing out of the bathroom as if she had only gone in there to check her lipstick and not to remove her yoga pants and stuff them into the coveted bag.

---- ---- --- --- --- --- ---

“Ashton, you are not writing an email to his manager.” From the bathroom of their London loft, Simone spoke around the frothing bristles of her toothbrush as she scratched them against her smile. “He will kill you.”

“I don't care.” Stubborn in his ways at this point in his life, Ashton called back like a child as he walked in circles around their coffee table. His attention was on his phone, typing out a long and very detailed email to his son's tour manager. “I still haven't got an answer back from Molly about her Christmas plans since I have to share her with her boyfriend and his family, I'm not going to be alone on Christmas just because Connor doesn't know how to negotiate with his manager.”

“You won't be alone. You'll have me.” Simone laughed through her toothpaste frown. Her husband could be so dramatic.

“And Luke. They always have a big party.”

“I think they're going to Paris this year actually...” Simone didn't want to burst Ashton's bubble again, but it was the truth. “To be with Penny.” In fact, everyone had concrete holiday plans. Skye's Canadian family came in and spent time with the Hoods, Michael and Grace had decided they would do Christmas together as if they weren't in the middle of a divorce by bringing Iden to New York and doing it at a fancy hotel in a private penthouse suite. It was just the Telford-Irwin family, the usually organized bunch, that was up in the air.

“I can't believe Connor is missing Christmas. It's his favourite holiday!” Ashton put his phone down for a second, having to rethink the way he wanted to rephrase an insult directed at his son's management team. He sat down on the middle of the couch with a 'hmph' and pouted.

Everything was changing and he couldn't keep up. He missed when they were little kids and he could control their every move. He decided where they would go and then carried them there on his back or in his arms.

“Darling,” Simone wiped the white spot from the corner of her lips and wandered out to her husband in nothing, but her large 5SOS t-shirt that she had been sleeping in since they first started dating. Well, when she didn't have something silky to wear to bed instead. “They're growing up. I'm surprised you're not more understanding...”

“What do you mean?” Ashton picked up his phone again and started a new sentence in his email.

“You missed lots of things when they were little. Molly used to cry and cry when you couldn't make parent-teacher conferences. This is part of Connor's life now. He can't be where we want him to be just like we didn't make every swim lesson or choir recital...” Ashton knew that Simone wasn't trying to break his heart, but the guilt weighed on his chest with great power as she tried to explain their son to him. She folded one leg onto the leather cushion and leaned into the couch, one hand laying over his bright screen and covering up the email. It was a small attempt to make him stop. “Let Connor try to figure this one out, okay? Just be on his side no matter what. You know what it was like trying to figure out new waters....”

Ashton put down his phone and rested his head on his wife's shoulder. It was always him chasing his dream somewhere else. He was rarely the one waiting or wishing with disappointment sitting in his lap. He didn't like the role change even if he was proud of his son.

“Maybe we could go to him...” If Luke and Cagney were taking their twins to Paris for Penny, if Michael and Grace were going to act like a happy couple with their two in New York, and if a whole Canadian bunch could fly to Sydney, then Ashton could do one of his favourite things and that was dance in a crowd of people cheering his son's name with his wife that he still thought was the hottest woman in the room.

“Let's let Connor figure it out, let's let Molly figure it out, and then we will.” She wanted her children to jump before she knew whether to join in or catch them. Simone put her own head, hair up in a messy bun, on his and held his hand tightly over her knee. These new waters were rough for the devoted parents, but she knew together they could get through them. Either that or have new children.