#Simon is on the floor right now but i don't blame him honestly

[whats-wild-to-you]

The Perfect Plan (Jay Park fiction)

Part 14

<Jennifer’s POV>

It’s been a week since I arrived in Busan. Jay hasn't contacted me since he left a bunch of calls and messages a week ago. I was crying myself to sleep every night, unable to understand how he didn't care enough to at least check if I was okay.

Dana called the day after the movers packed the rest of my stuff from my apartment. She wanted to make sure I got everything, and if I settled in alright. Luckily I found an apartment to stay very quickly and the rent was reasonable too. A few days later I even had an interview at a newspaper and was offered a job the same day.

Everything went seemingly well, if there wasn't this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't describe it, but I knew it wasn't a good feeling. It all seemed too easy. Moving to the other side of the country and finding a good-paying job all in one week? I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I was currently busy setting up furniture and putting clothes in my closet when I heard a knock the door. Immediately I froze, thinking it could be Jay. But he didn't even know where I was, and even if he did, I doubt he would care enough to come look for me.

Slowly, I approached the door, walking carefully so the wooden floor under my feet wouldn't creak. I looked through the peephole and hummed in surprise.

"Dana? What are you doing here?" I exclaimed as soon as I opened the door. Instinctively I checked to see if the hallway was clear.

"Well, I had your address, so I thought I'd come by and keep you company for a bit."

It was so unlike her, and immediately my mind went into overdrive. Did someone approach her? Ask her about me? Did she tell anyone where I was?

"Don't worry, nobody knows I'm here!" I sighed audibly and offered her a seat on the couch while I went to the kitchen to make coffee.

"Did really no one ask about me?" I asked as I sat down next to her. I didn't mean to but the words just spilled out.

Dana simply shook her head, an apologetic look plastered on her face. I appreciated the sympathy but I didn't need it.

Since Jay was only using me, I didn't expect him to ask about my whereabouts. And Phil? Well, Phil knew better than to look for me.

Whenever I thought about what he did to me, I wanted to strangle him with my own two hands.

"Are you okay?"

"I am. Even found a job in a newspaper. Tomorrow's my first day!"

"Jen-"

"It's okay. I can't blame anyone but myself. I should've been more cautious, I let my guard down, it's on me."

"Are you really sure that both Phil and Jay plotted this against you? You told me you didn't hear their entire conversation."

"I heard enough, and honestly I don't want to think or talk about it anymore. I'm starting fresh!"

"Okay. I'm sorry I brought it up. So tell me about your new job!"

<Jay’s POV>

"Simon? Do you have a minute?"

It's been a week since Jen disappeared. A week of me walking on egg shells, careful not to cause any concern to my friends. I knew, sooner or later, they would ask about her. Comment that they're not seeing her around as much. But I needed time. Time to figure out what went wrong, time to get my emotions under control. I wasn't sleeping anymore, only if I drank enough alcohol and basically passed out. I knew I had to talk to Phil to get some answers, but that man made me furious. I just couldn't do this much longer. Soon someone would notice.

"For you? Always! Come, sit!"

He had been the only one who sensed something was wrong a week ago. I also knew I could talk to him without feeling ashamed. Simon had been through a lot too, he would understand.

“Something happened a week ago, I-" Suddenly I stopped. I didn't know how to say it.

"With Jen?"

I nodded. Of course, Simon was smart, he understood right away.

"It was a misunderstanding, but when Jen found out she left!"

"Did you cheat on her?"

"No!"

"What happened? You're not making sense right now!"

"It all started when Phil approached me-"

"I never liked that guy!" He interrupted me mid-sentence, which made me chuckle.

"Anyway..."

I spent the next hour explaining to him everything in detail, every conversation Phil and I had, how he basically manipulated me, used me and Jen as puppets. I told him about that night. How I wanted to tell off Phil, stop this charade, come clean to Jen and move on with her. I told him about Phil's call and how he told me Jen confronted him. How she was so calm and left without giving Phil a chance to explain. How she abandoned her apartment and quit her job.

"For all I know she might not even be in South Korea anymore."

"There has to be someone who knows where she is! Maybe she's staying in a hotel, because she's trying to avoid you? Have you gone back to her apartment? You said only some of her clothes were gone."

"I don't know-"

"Let's go! Right now. Let's check her apartment."

I felt uncomfortable, but Simon had a point. As far as I knew, Jen didn't have any friends outside of work. Maybe she was really hiding in a hotel, waiting for the storm to pass.

I punched in the passcode and sighed a breath of relief when the door unlocked. But when Simon and I stepped inside, my hopes vanished. The apartment was empty. All the furniture was gone.

"I'm sorry, man!" I heard Simon say, and although he stood right next to me his voice sounded distant.

"Do you want me to go kick Phil's ass?" He added, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No, it's okay. You should go back to work!" I appreciated the offer, but doubted that beating up Phil was going to bring Jen back.

Still, that man was responsible for Jen disappearing. I should make him work hard to try and find her.

I didn't like the idea of seeing him again, but knew that if anyone had some answers, it would be him.

I was surprised to find Phil in his office, working, as if nothing happened. Someone at the reception had to inform him that I was there to see him, and if he didn't wanted to see me I wouldn't have been able to get on the elevator.

"Where is she?" I skipped the pleasantries and cut right to the case.

"Calm down! I don't know, okay! I'm as worried as you are!"

I scoffed. It took me a while to realize what a manipulating and lying bastard Phil was, but now that I knew, I didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth.

"Save your act for someone who cares, okay?"

"I haven't talked to her since that day! Everything I know, I shared with you!" He raised his voice, frustration evident on his face.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened, I never meant to harm you or Jennie. I want to find her as bad as you do, so I can apologize to her, but it's like she vanished off the face of the earth."

***

Part 15

[mwolf0epsilon]

If you had to go back to it, what do you think would happen after that demon summoning fic? And what happened to Daniel???

[[MORE]]

  "He's asleep, for now at least..." Simon mutters as he locks the basement door with a padlock and key. North can barely see anything inside the room through the metal slot on the reinforced door, and she doesn't think to ask why Simon had the basement level remade into something like a prison cell. She has a feeling that she doesn't want to know the answer.

 "I..." She starts, bruised face and bloodied cracked lips so painful that it hurts to speak. She's tired. She had fought for her life, knowing she couldn't win against a 9 foot tall beast that knew she had a black belt and called her name with her lover's voice. "I didn't know y-you owned a gun..."

Simon pauses, key in hand as he looks at her.

She watches him pocket the item before he shakes his head and slumps his shoulders.

 "...I didn't." Simon's eyes are sad and just as tired as her own. He holds a weight on his shoulders that tells her he's seen too much. Suffered a loss just as great as her own. The bad feeling intensifies, and she can only think of one thing to blame:

That book. He'd recognized it the moment she showed it to him.

 "What happened to you...?" She asks, knowing full well that something had gone down before she and Josh moved back. And it had to do with Daniel.

"...What can you tell me about Daniel, North?" Simon asks rather than reply, confirming her suspicions.

She doesn't answer, because she knows Simon had a brother, but she doesn't recall ever meeting him. She knows he must have been close to Simon if his death had shaken him up so much that he'd begged for their support, but honestly she doesn't know what to say.

"I...Don't think we ever met."

Simon's reaction startles her. He laughs.

He laughs an ugly broken laugh that breaks her heart even more than it already is. Turns each shard to dust.

 "...I hoped... You could remember I had a brother, but I g-guess it was wishful thinking that you'd know who he was." Simon looks so very hurt. He hugs himself tightly and shakes.

"Simon?"

 "He was my twin... We were insepperable the four of us... F-fuck I..." Simon ran a hand over his face and sobbed "I...I fucked up badly North…"

---

     The bakery had been doing poorly ever since the new supermarket had opened up on the other block. A lot of the smaller shops were losing clients and closing down, since people thought the new place was a lot more convenient.

Simon and Daniel's tiny store quickly lost sales and the two were not meeting their quota at the end of the month. Rent was becoming difficult to pay and they had been desperate.

  "If we don't find a way to turn this whole mess around, we'll end up living on the streets…" Daniel had fretted as he looked over the bills. They had piled up so much that they weren't sure where they'd get the money.

  "I talked to Mrs. Stern, but she's not one to give more than a second chance. She expects the money by next month…" Simon sighed miserably. "I'm sorry Dan...I tried…"

  "I know...I just… I'm scared Si." Daniel looked at him, concern and fear of the unknown clouding his eyes in such a way that they looked like a stormy sky. "I… I'll go talk to Connor… see if he can lend me an extra buck…"

  "You hate asking for handouts."

  "Well what choice do I have?!" Daniel grumbled "Unless you can think of something better, I'd suggest you pick up some books on how to make money real quick…"

---

  "...You took his advice seriously, didn't you?" North frowned.

Simon shakily nodded, face buried in his hands.

  "Yes…"

  "Simon...What happened?" She looked over towards the door when she heard soft shuffling inside. The monster that had been Josh had probably shifted in its sleep, just as her beloved tended to. He was a restless sleeper.

  "...I went to the library. I tried looking for business books but…" the blond shook his head "I found that fucking thing instead."

His desperation had lead to a very piss poor decision on his part. 

The promise of having his greatest desires given to him by the many spells and rituals. 

It had been so tempting.

Too tempting for him to resist.

If he could just pick the right one, do it right and get enough money to save his and Daniel's tiny little bakery…

But it had all gone so wrong!

  "I just wanted to help." Simon sobs "I never meant to be so selfish!"

He'd not done it right.

The spell he chose called for one to clear their mind and choose their one greatest want in life.

Simon had to focus on saving the bakery, but instead he'd been greedy.

The thought of how easy it would be to get anything he wanted…

The bakery had all but left his mind as he'd let himself fantasize.

What would it be like if he were more? If he were as interesting as his twin? Knew all the things Daniel had taken the time to learn in their youth?

Be the kind of guy people wanted to get to know?

He'd been a foolish selfish idiot for thinking such thoughts. And he'd paid for it, just as North had paid for mocking the book.

  "I… Its like… It's like I had absorbed Daniel in the womb." He whispers.

  "What?" North stared, uncertain if she'd heard him right.

  "The ritual… I wasn't supposed to think of anything but getting the money to save the bakery… But…" he sighed "My insecurities…"

  "You were insecure about your ability to help?" North asked.

  "No. I just… I always considered Daniel to be the stronger, better twin. I just wanted to be as good as him… instead I erased his existence and… I guess rewrote my life so that I was Daniel but not." Simon grimaced, before looking back at her. "And I know it goes beyond just… Just him being gone."

  "I… How?" North dares ask.

He doesn't reply, instead he takes her hand and puts it against his chest. She raises an eyebrow before she feels it.

A twin thumping of two separate hearts, inside a single chest cavity.

  "...Oh my god…"

  "I didn't just kill my brother. I became him, and now I have his heart to remind me that I'm a selfish monstrous fuck."

---

     Josh doesn't eat much for a large beast. Simon feeds him liver, hearts and other assorted parts he gets at a butchers. They rarely go inside the basement and, when they need to clean it, they use Daniel's tranq gun to knock him out.

North sits by the door most days. She talks to her fiancee for many hours, letting him know she still loves him and that she's sorry for getting him into this mess.

Sometimes he moans her name, the chain around his neck dragging against the floor as he tries to reach her.

She knows he'd sink his teeth into her throat if he ever got the chance.

     Simon hid the book better this time. No longer in any of the public sections of the library. It's locked in a safe in Daniel's old room, where no one else would think to look.

Whenever he's not at the library, he's reading those damned pages in search of a way to fix Josh.

So far, he's found nothing 

So North bides her time and speaks to her lover.

  "Simon can shoot guns now, and do rock climbing… His back pains are gone and he can chat up Markus now…" she recounts through the slot. She can see the glimmer of four goat-like eyes peering over at her in the dark. The rumbling growl is unsettling. "He wasn't kidding… He really did absorb his brother… He has two hearts now. Says it helps him sleep when he feels the heartbeat on the left. It's like Daniel's still here…"

  "Nooooorth…." The mournful rumble makes her pause. She shivers but carries on.

  "You remember Daniel don't you? No one else can… And I don't… Fully remember…" she confesses "But he knew a lot of stuff. Simon was jealous of him, but he loved him… He misses him a lot. Like… Like how I miss you."

The chain rattles closer, she can hear hooves and claws scraping along the floor. Her eyes prickle slightly.

  "Josh… You know I've always been shit with words. I've been an angry unpleasant person for most of my life, and somehow you never felt put off by my attitude." North laughed bitterly "Guess you got the short end of the stick here… But… What I'm trying to say is…"

She looks at the slot and her skin crawls as the muzzle tries to force itself through. A mixture of a wolf, and a Chinese lion dog, with curled fangs and a snake-like tongue that writhes and slithers in all directions. Thirsty for blood.

  "Is that… I'm sorry." She lets the slot rest against the beast's maw, shivering when the serpentine tongue catches her fingers. The saliva is hot against her skin. "I shouldn't have been a dick. I shouldn't have read out of that stupid book… I never wanted anything. I thought what we had was plenty… and if I had to ask for anything… I'd just ask to have you back."

The beast shuts its jaw sharply.

She can't hear him breathing heavily anymore.

  "... I want you back Josh. That's all I want…" she gets up, looks down at the monstrous muzzle and presses a quick kiss to that ugly squashed nose of his, and turns to leave.

  "NoRtH…?"

She stops.

  "Josh…?"

The muzzle pulls away from the slot, replaced by a clawed set of digits. On one finger Josh's ring gleams in the low light.

  "North…" his eyes peek through the slot. There are still four but they're his.

Her heart skips a beat.

[fragileworlds-blog1]

One Shot : "Unrequited Love Is A Bitch" PT. 1

Bella knew Simon was in love with Isabelle.

She just wanted her feelings to stop. Stop feeling, She told herself, Stop feeling. Stop feeling. Stop feeling! But, God, his smile. His smile, his laugh, his personality. All of him.

The way he'd make her laugh, make her smile. A real smile, a real laugh. A smile and a laugh she hadn't been able to plaster for years. Then, Simon came around and- and she was done for. Suddenly, she had found a friend. Someone she could geek out with. Someone who knew her flaws and didn't give a crap about them because the only thing that mattered was her and not some stupid mistakes she had made in the past.

She shouldn't be feeling like this, especially not for Simon. Then again, she'd always been the top target for unrequited love. She had grown up in a house full of it. Her brother was always, always the favorite child and it was as if she had been left in the dirt.

With Simon, she felt safe, protected. She got the home she always wanted in a person.

○●○●○●○●○

She knew Simon and Isabelle would get back together. She knew they were only taking a small break because of her and Simon's little 'kissing' incident. She knew it was no big deal.

She knew these moments with Simon wouldn't last forever.

Had he just used her? As a distraction? As a way to get his mind off of Isabelle? She never expected that from her Simon, but anything was possible. Her Simon. She had never really referred to him as that- He wasn't that. He wasn't her Simon, he was Isabelle's Simon. He would always be Isabelle's Simon.

Bella knew she had to be supportive of whatever Simon decided or whatever Simon wanted. He wanted Isabelle, not her. So, when Isabelle approached her to actually talk about Simon, she was shocked, but immediately covered it with sarcasm and her wit.

When Bella heard the clack of high heeled boots, she immediately turned around, seeing exactly who she had expected. Her head tilted and her lips curved into it's infamous smirk. "Isabelle Lightwood. Oh, it's been ages, hasn't it?" She breathed out, dramatically.

Isabelle tensed and she crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm not here to start a cat fight with you or anything," She paused to clear her throat. Impatiently, Bella gestured for her to keep going. "Look, you make Simon happy in ways I never did."

"I make everyone besides my parents happy. It's a daily routine." Bella retorted, "I don't see why Simon's any exception to that."

Izzy suppressed an eyeroll and bit back a smart, sarcastic response. "I appreciate you making him happy, Bella. So, I'd like to thank you for that. Simon's all yours. He is clearly happy with you and you care about him."

Had she been hearing correctly? Had Isabelle just given up with Simon because he seemed happy? Bella's eyebrows furrowed, "Excuse me, what? You do realize that Simon's hurting without you, right? And I don't care about Simon-" Liar, "I don't care about anyone. I'm a lone wolf." You care about Simon. She brushed off the thought.

"Oh, sure, of course you don't." Isabelle let out a sigh of exasperation, "Come on, Bella. When was the last time you smiled or laughed in the last couple of years? A real, genuine smile? Not a smirk, not a chuckle."

Bella did not let her guard down— She never let her guard down. She nodded sarcastically, “Oh, definitely. I am just so in love with Simon. I want to steal him from you so, so much. He's so precious, he's such a hottie.” She fake-gushed over him, then rolled her eyes, “He's not an object, let him decide who he wants. It's obviously going to be you, but whatever. I don't care.”

“You do—”

“Shut up, Isabelle. I do not.” Bella said sternly, “Let it go. Go talk to him or something. Get him back, I don't know. He loves you. I was just a. . . distraction, I guess. Or something.”

“I can almost assure you, you were not. Nice warlock powers, by the way.” Isabelle's heels stomped the floor as she rushed out of the room and headed straight to Jordan Kyle's apartment, where she knew Simon was.

Bella looked at her as she left. She bit her lip before looking down at her hands, which were crackling with fire. Stop it. Don't feel, don't feel, don't feel.

○●○●○●○●○

“Simon Lewis! Open this door right now!” Isabelle's fist pounded against the apartment door. She had to talk to him about Bella. Bella cared about him and letting go of Simon would be difficult, but she always had to put someone before herself.

After all, Shadowhunters put themselves before others.

She heard the door being unlocked and clicking open. Simon's shirtless figure exposed the hickeys Bella had given him, a shirt in his hand. “Oh, Isabelle!” His eyes widened and he began  putting on his shirt, almost immediately, “I fell off a bike. Jordan's messenger bike—” He was so nervous, the collar of his shirt was still on his head.

Isabelle helped him put it down, her hand trailing down his chest afterwards before pulling it back, clearing her throat. “Don't lie to me.” She spoke softly. She felt so vulnerable, so unlike her. Simon nodded before she began what she was going to tell him, “When I was younger, my dad cheated on my mother.”

Simon swallowed hard, “Maybe, you should come insi—”

“No. I'm telling you this here. My dad cheated on my mother. You cheated on me. You told me Clary was your first priority. And you know who's being blamed? Me. I'm being blamed for our breakup.” Her voice raised a little bit and Simon winced.

“I didn't tell anyone to go after you—” His voice trailed off when Isabelle cut him off.

“But, you know what.” She scoffed and shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest, “This isn't my fault. I didn't cheat on you. You cheated on me. No one expects it from you because you're this little ‘innocent’ person. Of course, you were just brought into this world, so you think that you're an exception— but you're not.”

“I don—”

“Everyone's blaming me and it's not my fault. You told me you loved me and you cheated on me. And you told me you still had feelings for Clary when you had told me they had vanished completely. You lied to me, Simon.” Isabelle's jaw clenched, “You're happy with Bella. You two would look good together.”

“I don't have feelings for Bella. We're just friends.” Simon reassured her, “I'm sorry for lying to you— I don't know what came to me— I don't—"

“You don't what?” Isabelle snapped, “Look, I forgive you. I'm a forgiving person. But I do not forget, you hear me?”

○●○●○●○●○

Bella leaned against a wall as she approached Simon. Her fiery red hair seemed to glow as the streetlights reflected upon her hair. She let out a sigh, “Let me guess, buzzkill, you and your little girlfriend are going to ride off into the sunset and make out under the stars?”

Simon's eyebrows scrunched up, “She forgave me—She isn't forgetting, but— We're not together.”

The annoyance and honest sadness overcame Bella as she rolled her eyes, “Who gives a crap? Everything's better between you two! Yay!” Her tone voiced her emotions, dryly. “Honestly, you two are going to have your happy ending, what does it matter?”

Simon's furrowed eyebrows expressed his confusion. “Why do you seem so mad? Why do you exactly care?”

“I don't care,” Bella snapped, “I'm not mad. Caring would mean I'm mad and being mad would mean I care, which incidentally, neither of those apply to me.” She cleared her throat after her ramble, “I didn't expect you two to make up and make out so quickly.”

“Why didn't you expect it? She's a very forgiving person.” Simon simply shrugged, stopping himself before saying something that would surely turn him into vampire barbecue.

“Yes, she is simply the epitome of goodness and happiness and forgiveness. The world is full of rainbows and goodwill and life is just perfect!” Bella spoke dryly, using her hands for emphasis of her faux–excitement.

“And you are clearly the epitome of sarcasm.” Simon retorted.

“And you are the epitome of obliviousness!” Bella blurted out. You weren't supposed to say that. Nice going, Bella, “Or has no one bothered to tell you that before?” She quickly covered up.

He arched an eyebrow, “What am I supposed to be oblivious about? Also, I like to think I'm quite perceptive, thank you.”

She clenched her fists, “What does it matter? You and Isabelle have each other. You two have your happy ending. You've already gotten your story, you know how your life is going to play out. Con–freaking–grats.”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘Why do I care?’? Of course I care. You think just because Isabelle forgave me we're going to have happy endings?” Simon questioned, his eyes narrowed slightly.

“I think you're in love with her!”  Bella's voice raised to a shout, her head jerking over to face him with a glare, “I think I was just a distraction! Usually, I wouldn't care but now I do and—” She cut herself off, throwing her hands in the air, “I don't want to care.”

His face expressed disbelief and his voice raised slightly, expressing it, “Why do you suddenly care if I'm in love with her?! You were not a distraction, don't even think that! Why do you care? Care about my feelings, care about being a distraction?”

“God, you're so stupid, Simon!” Bella sighed in pure disbelief. She pushed herself off the wall and walked closer to him. “Out of everyone in this whole wretched world, you made me feel safe, secure. You made me feel loved. You made me care. I have always felt incomplete, then you come along and now that's ruined! That's gone, that's over! Everything, it's just gone!”