#Strung together with patches of string tissue and peanut butter

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

So, I just finished Yakuza 5 and... brain still reeling. I love that Yakuza games exist on this continuum between fascinating crime drama and hot-ass fever dream. This one... was a little hard on the hot-ass fever dream side, in my opinion. Not as bad as 2 (nothing’s as bad as 2), but, woof.

So, like, I’ve been greedily devouring these games in playthroughs since I became acquainted with 0 back in November. I desperately want to get current so I can write So Much Fic for this. Oh god, oh man, I got so much shit to do. And I have belatedly realized I really should be giving story reviews on these because... *whistles* oh. Oh My. And, as some of you long time followers may know, it is a pet fave of mine to watch hot trash and give my hot take on it. 

Anyway, I don’t really want to talk details on 5 too much in case of spoilers. I know the games been out for like 5 years, but I only just finished it today, so. And you should definitely watch/play these games! Mostly they’re fucking fantastic! I am goddamn in love! But just... some of the writing choices are... boggling. I am boggled.

But that’s why, some day, I’m going to write the “Kiryu Kazuma Is Actually The Chairman The Whole Time” AU and fix every fucking thing that has ever gone wrong in this series. For shorthand, I refer to this as “When I rewrite 2″ (If you couldn’t tell yet, I REALLY have problems with 2). Because that’s what it all is, that’s what it always is. All problems stem from the fact that Kiryu Kazuma gave up the fucking chairmanship of the Tojo Clan and literally everything went to hell in a handbasket because of it. Literally, I can’t think of a single plot problem in any game sense that wasn’t caused by the fact that Kiryu isn’t chairman. So... someday, Imma fix that. And not like short term, I mean rewrite the whole fucking series because... y’know, I didn’t need a life. I just fix Yakuza problems now.

But, anyway, TL;DR I should have been sassing y’all with my reviews of Yakuza games and I am deeply sad that I have not done that yet. But my ass is gonna get on 6 soon enough and then wait with baited breath for 7 and write SO MUCH fic in the meanwhile. And I will probably write some incredibly bitchy and/or thoughtful meta about the whole business too.

More thoughts soon.