Two of Pentacles
In the Two of Pentacles, a youthful individual dances while juggling two coins in their hands. The infinity symbol links the coins, suggesting that this person can handle unlimited problems so long as they manage their time, energy and resources well. In the background, two ships sail the high seas, bobbing up and down on the huge waves – another sign that the ups and downs of life are manageable with focus and attention.
-
Hellur. I’m finally forcing myself to sit down and write. It’s been quite a month… But I finally feel like I’m firmly standing on two feet.
The municipal election’s delegation was… an experience. I helped out as the ‘call center’ on the day of elections, logging every big observation that happened during the day. I also helped to make a slideshow for the CIS’ press conference. I was a brave girl!
A journalist asked to speak to a few of observers outside in the parking lot where we were having the press conference. They wanted to meet in the parking lot because they were concerned about their security. They told observers that few members of the press came to the conference and that those that came didn’t really ask questions because they had been intimidated and didn’t want to write anything that could be perceived critical of the government. So, take from that what you will.
After we finished speaking, everyone came up to me and said that they thought that the slideshow was really powerful and that it was good we showed it; but Leslie cautioned that they could come and arrest us for showing it, which made me spiral out of control.
Buying produce at the market and having conversation in the car on the way to the beach grounded me into reality and helped me to calm down as best as I could.
Tom, in his old age and with his wisdom, very dryly told me that one day, my grandchildren would ask me about what I was doing when democracy was dying in the 2020s and that I’d gleefully tell them about my various stints in jail. Roberto distracted me by asking me about my theological studies; which actually really helped me to develop the paper I was working on for my socio-theological analysis of the Latin American reality.
Being at the beach was like taking one big benzo. I swung myself in the hammocks. I drank a lot of coconut water. I worked on one of my Paint By Diamonds projects. I watched the sunset. I had delicious seafood. I swam in the pool. I drank rum. I laid out in the sun. I walked on the beach. I ate junk food. I looked up at the stars. I made a very strange vegetarian meal for Tom and I. I released baby sea turtles into the ocean. I listened to music. I learned a lot about Mormonism and gossiped about my love life with Roberto’s sister. I got a massage. I enjoyed air conditioning.
When we got back home from the beach though, it was like life slapped me in the face. I struggled to balance my school work along with my volunteer work. My sleep schedule was all over the place. And then, I was away again, in Suchitoto.
Brooke, Tom, and I went out there because Tom was teaching a women’s self defense class to women a part of the feminist collective. He taught me some moves too so it’s safe to say I could beat some asses.
A lot of time away was dedicated toward work; both in the academic sense and the volunteer sense. Analyzing observer data on the elections gave me a headache and Brooke and I went back and forth for hours.
When we weren’t working though, we were soaking up all of life’s special moments. On the first night we went to one Mexican restaurant which had subpar food but entertaining characters. I stopped at the tienda afterward and got myself some peach yogurt, which was delicious. The next night, we went out to a fancy restaurant, Casa Flamenco. We sat in this little cabana which had a table for three.
Brooke got us a bottle of wine and boy did we drink ourselves into a delight! We split cauliflower wings with a buffalo and a tamarindo sauce, had the silliest portion size of this creamy tomato pasta, and enjoyed coffees with brownies a la mode for dessert. The restaurant also had a little store and I got Paulo Freire’s The Politics of Education. On our walk home, we got a little lost but I made a friend in the park and he drove us home for 50 cents each. The next night we went to another nice restaurant overlooking the town square, but I don’t remember what it was called. I had a delicious smoothie and veggie sandwich. After we finished eating, Brooke and I checked out the church.
They were just wrapping up mass when we walked in and a very young, dare I say Fleabag-esq, priest came up to us. He was blown away that Brooke was Jewish, Tom was Buddhist, and I was an agnostic theology student at the UCA. It was fun to chit chat with him. We then hung out just the three of us in the park, people watching, sharing stories, recommending movies and shows. Thankfully, we did not get lost on our way back to the hotel. The next morning, we had breakfast (I especially enjoyed the partly frozen orange juice) and packed up. We were extremely lucky to get the last three seats on the bus back home. I arguably had the best seat, I was in the back corner, with leg room.
A man preached on the bus and we made eye contact with each other practically the whole time he spoke. I always end up doing that, which is unwise, but it’s in my nature! I gave him my contact information so that he could reach out to me for an interview if he wanted one for my book. The Faith Across Identities project is alive and well! I’m also going to be interviewing a woman from the island whose son was wrongfully imprisoned… She has a very interesting faith.
When we got to the bus terminal we bid our farewells and I got in an Uber to take me home. I was tired and wanted silence on the ride home, but my Uber driver wanted dialog… We had a whole discussion about the flaws of the church and organized religion. I think he expected me to be against him because it felt like he wanted to fight me the entire time… By the time I got home, I was glad to be in bed. I lazed around, took a nice shower, and ordered takeout, spending the rest of the day watching my shows.
The next week I finally completed my first big paper as a graduate student! I sound like a church elder throughout the entire thing, but there’s just this sense of security I get writing about the Salvadoran reality from a spiritual stance instead of a purely sociological stance… Which makes no sense, considering how the government has an extremely violent past with the religious… But still, I feel sheltered and protected by the church… It’s the strangest thing.
Speaking of the spiritual, I’ve started one of my more spiritual oriented classes. It’s titled, The Mystery of God. It’s pretty chill to be honest. We’ve just been analyzing different pieces of art debating how it depicts God. I choose to focus on Nezahualcoyōtl’s poetry, specifically his poem Inside Heaven. He was an Aztec ruler right before the conquest; he is known for making the first Aztec temple that prohibited blood sacrifices, among many other things! I’ve also been reading a lot of church documents that have originated from Latin American clergymen. I am continually amazed by how the church as an institution operates as such a fierce advocate for justice down here. It is such a privilege to study this subject and I can’t wait to one day share all that I’ve learned with students back home.
But, I’ll admit, it has been hard to reach this point. While those closest to me support me unequivocally, some have given their unsolicited advice and really soiled my spirit, making me feel like the way I’m choosing to do things is the wrong way to do things. I know that what I do doesn’t make that much sense. But does it really have to make sense to people if it’s not their life?
Someone I got dinner with told me to drop out of my program, unprompted. I was pretty perplexed by their perspective, especially given that I had earlier stated how exciting the challenge of studying in Spanish was and how I felt like I was finally finding answers to questions I had begun to ask myself in 2021. I brushed their commentary off and reminded them the reasons why I was doing what I was doing and then they seemingly got angry with me, invalidating my choices once again.
On my walk home from the dinner, I started to spiral out of control and second guess myself. Afterall, I’m some white woman in my 20s all alone in some other country studying in a program that’s mostly made up of retirees who are devoutly religious. I’ve had to deal with so much red tape, from both the Salvadoran and the US government. It is not easy.
But, I’m doing what I want to do! And on the bright side, that spiral that they sent me down brought me lots of revelations. I can confidently say that I’ve got a damn good solid plan for my future. One that seeks to serve others and not just myself, too!
Anyway! I met up with Joel, one of my contacts from the national university, and we went to the market together. I bought some pretty colored candles and crazy glue. After we left the market we went back on campus and chatted. He told me to think of fear like it was an invasive instinct; something that didn’t belong in our lives and that if we didn’t take steps to eradicate it, it would take over, destroying everything. He also invited me to attend a conference with him! It’ll be my first ever academic conference. Three days where I just get to be a huge fucking nerd. I can’t wait!
Mmmmm I’m trying to think of what else to tell y’all.
In a great big contrast from last year, I spent most of Semana Santa shut in my room studying, instead of being out in the field doing research. I was kind of bummed that I didn’t participate in any of the festivities but I really needed to spend time catching up on work. Though I did observe things here and there! Which was refreshing! It’s crazy how seriously Easter is celebrated here…
My one roommate, who has since moved out, and I had a lot of fun while we lived together. We ate lots of Chinese, got close with our vigilantes, found some good vintage pieces for them to sell on their Depop, talked a lot of shit about our landlord, sang a lot of karaoke, contemplated contemporary politics, and experienced life as two idiots abroad. I’m gonna miss them but I’m sure our paths will cross again.
Speaking of roommates, my other roommate and I are going to start going on walks together which is so refreshing because I’ve missed going on walks!
Though, today I did have a really nice walk by myself at dusk. It had finally cooled down a little so I plugged in my headphones and listed to Court and Spark and just walked and walked. I felt like Forrest Gump.
I’ve made some pieces of art that I’m pretty proud of. I’m so glad that I’ve had bursts of creativity after what feels like such a long stint without any. I just really hope I can get more on top of things and start throwing on the wheel again. I love my collages and I find peace through my poetry, but there’s nothing like making stuff out of mud!
I’m also starting to offer my spiritual services to people to have more spending money for myself and to support projects my peers and I are pursuing. If you want a reading or need some type of spiritual work done don’t hesitate to reach out to me!
Oh!!! I also have finally gotten all the paperwork that I needed to get in to prove that Miami University is a real and legally operating institution of higher education in the US!!! Now I just must wait for approval from the Salvadoran government. Fingers crossed!!!
I think that’s it??? Lots to juggle, lots to look forward to! Miss and love you all lots. I hope that I’ll get to see those of you that actually read this when I come home. Take care of yourselves and know that I’m always just a call away if you need anything. XOXO!
Z
2 notes
·
View notes
"I came across this guy during the civil war in El Salvador in the 1980s. He was one of a gang of mercenaries known as the Death Squad. We were in a rural backwater called Suchitoto, which at the time could best be described as a one-donkey town, and he was sitting in the local cafe having eaten his lunch, his revolver casually placed in front of him.
I bought him a beer and, as he raised the bottle, managed to get three shots in before he went ballistic. He was swearing and called his friends with rifles over and pushed me about. I don’t know what would have happened if they’d realised I’d shot off some frames already. I realised I’d taken a big risk, but I didn’t think about it at the time. I quickly ordered more beers, hoping to calm them down, and then just left.
Nearly all photographers shot in black and white in those days. I developed the picture in my hotel bathroom, then sent the pictures via the Associated Press transmitter – an arduous process far removed from the immediacy of today. It’s a picture that’s remained a favourite, an offbeat moment behind the scenes of a civil war. I’ve worked in numerous conflict zones and it’s often difficult to compose pictures. Many of the shots I took in El Salvador were too gruesome to publish." - Derek Hudson.
Derek Hudson is specialised in documentary and portrait photography for which he has received awards from the World Press Photo organisation of Amsterdam, honoured by the Art Director's Club of New York and received numerous accolades for his still photography skills worldwide.
13 notes
·
View notes
IMAGENES Y DATOS INTERESANTES DEL DIA 1 DE ABRIL DE 2024
Lunes de Pascua, Día Internacional de las Bromas, Día Internacional de la Diversión en el Trabajo, Año Internacional de los Camélidos.
San Venancio.
Tal día como hoy en el año Tal día como hoy en el año 2001
En el mar del Sur de China, un avión de reconocimiento naval de EEUU, modelo EP-3, colisiona en el aire con uno de los dos cazas chinos F-8 que tratan de expulsarle del área cercana a unas maniobras militares. El caza averiado se estrella en aguas internacionales, causando la muerte de su piloto, y el EP-3 averiado con 24 tripulantes, aterriza en la isla china de Hainan, donde su tripulación será detenida durante 11 días, desatando el primer conflicto diplomático de gravedad entre China y EE.UU. desde la llegada de George W. Bush a la Casa Blanca. (Hace 23 años)
1979
Se celebran en España las primeras elecciones municipales libres después de la Guerra Civil ganada por Francisco Franco, que exactamente hoy hace 40 años que concluyó, en 1939. Los votantes dan el triunfo a la izquierda en una gran mayoría de ciudades. (Hace 45 años)
1976
Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak y Ronald Wayne fundan Apple, empresa multinacional estadounidense con sede en California, diseñadora y fabricante de equipos electrónicos y de software. (Hace 48 años)
1939
Oficialmente concluye la cruenta y dolorosa Guerra Civil Española con el parte firmado por el general Franco, convertido ya en dictador, que dice así: "Parte Oficial de guerra correspondiente al 1º de Abril de 1939, III Año Triunfal. En el día de hoy, cautivo y desarmado el Ejército rojo, han alcanzado las tropas Nacionales sus últimos objetivos militares. LA GUERRA HA TERMINADO. Burgos, 1º de Abril de 1939. Año de la Victoria. EL GENERALÍSIMO: Franco" (sic). (Hace 85 años)
1933
En Alemania y debido a la ideología política racista del III Reich, se produce el "día del boicot", dirigido contra comerciantes, profesores, estudiantes, abogados y médicos judíos. (Hace 91 años)
1918
En el Reino Unido se funda la Royal Air Force, más conocida por sus siglas RAF, con soldados del Cuerpo Aéreo Real Británico y del Servicio Naval (Royal Naval Air Service), con el fin de contrarrestar a la fuerza aérea alemana durante la I Guerra Mundial en la que Inglaterra sufre una larga serie de ataques de bombardeo, con la frustración del servicio aéreo británico por su manifiesta inferioridad ante los alemanes. Esta orden de crear la RAF se mostrará efectiva al final de la guerra, pues la aviación británica habrá ganado gran superioridad en el frente occidental. (Hace 106 años)
1833
En México, el general Antonio López de Santa Annase convierte en presidente. Configurará un estado centralista, apoyándose en el ejército y en los conservadores. (Hace 191 años)
1528
Tres años después de que Gonzalo de Alvarado, siguiendo órdenes de su hermano Pedro fundara El Salvador, capital de la actual República que lleva su nombre, y la tuviera que abandonar en 1526 debido a una sublevación de los pueblos indígenas, en el día de hoy, expedicionarios españoles e indígenas de origen tlaxcalteca y mexica, al mando del conquistador Diego de Alvarado, apaciguan los ánimos caldeados de los indígenas salvadoreños que viven en lo que actualmente se conoce como "Ciudad Vieja" al sur de Suchitoto, y refundan la ciudad. (Hace 496 años)
1525
En el actual El Salvador, Gonzalo de Alvarado funda la villa San Salvador. Un año después, los cuzcatlecos sublevados atacarán e incendiarán la naciente villa. (Hace 499 años)
286
Apremiado por necesidades militares, para hacer frente a la revuelta carusiana en el Imperio, el emperador Diocleciano eleva a su general Maximiano como co-emperador con la dignidad de augusto y le otorga el control sobre las regiones occidentales del Imperio Romano. (Hace 1738 años)
1 note
·
View note