#Sunsetinymvein requests

[sunsetinmyvein]

Don’t Panic

The next prompt from the prompt list~ Thank you kindly for the suggestion @robinrunsfiction​

“Patrick.” I said, looking at my boyfriend’s knuckles turning white against the cramped plane seat.

“What?” He snapped as he turned to me with panicked eyes.

I placed a hand on his shoulder in an effort to be comforting, “It’ll be okay.” I reassured him.

“You don’t know that.” He argued as he went back to staring out the window of and watching us take off.

“I do know.” I shot back. He looked at me in confusion. “There were only 26 fatal plane crashes last year.” I quoted.

“That’s a lot.” He said, his voice cracking slightly.

“Out of 31 million.” I continued. Knowing of Patrick’s fear of flying I’d been researching all this week for information that might make this slightly easier on him. I figured if I had enough facts to rebut his fears, maybe he would be able to relax a bit.

He took a moment to process the statistic, taking off his hat and resting it on his knee so that he could run a hand through his short, blonde hair, “Well… that’s… I suppose…” He stumbled over his words, before nodding and looking back out the window.

 I took his hand in mine to stop him from digging his nails into the armrest. “At least tell me why?” I asked gently.

“Why what?” He muttered.

“Why are you scared of flying?” I clarified with a small smile.

He let out a deep sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. After a minute of what I assumed was trying to compose his thoughts, he met my gaze. “Because, er…” He started. “It’s just…” His eyes flicked down to my lips before he groaned. “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that and I’m focusing on not dying.” Patrick said.

“Good, let me be a distraction from it.” I grinned, and saw him trying his best not to smile before he clearly got caught up in his own thoughts again.  

“Planes just… shouldn’t work. How does this tonne of metal, and people, and bags stay in the air?” He eventually answered - I felt his hand tense around mine as he said it.

“You want me to explain the science behind it?” I offered.

“No. The science doesn’t make it make sense.” He said, shaking his head.

  It was hard to try and distract a man who didn’t want to be distracted. He just seemed to wallow in his fear, which then just created a vicious cycle of making it worse.

“You see, it-”

“Shh… listen…” I interrupted, holding my hand in front of his face and feigning like I was listening to something.

“To what??” He asked urgently. “What is it??” His tone was quickly increasing in volume.

“That’s the sound of me falling in love with you.” I said seriously.

He let out an incredulous laugh. “That’s not helping.”

“Are you sure? You’re smiling now.” I chuckled, nudging his shoulder with mine.

“Maybe it’s helping a little bit.” He conceded.

  The take-off continued without a hitch, as expected. Patrick continued to nearly hyperventilate, as expected. But once we were travelling smoothly, I heard his breathing even out slightly. He started rattling off odd little tidbits he knew about flying.

“I hear it gets cold, when we hit cruising altitude.” He mentioned offhandedly.

“Good thing you’re really warm.” I said, winking at him.

“Am I?” He questioned, looking like he was blushing slightly as the steward handed us our dinners.

“Here, eat your tiny little sectioned out meal,” I said, handing it across to him, “drink the free booze, and then take a nap with me.” I suggested while he peeled the foil off the top.

“I dunno if I’ll be able to get to sleep.” He grimaced.

“Then drink more miniature bottles of liquor.” I said with a laugh. “It’ll go faster if you sleep.”

He took a sip of the dark liquor in his plastic cup, looking like for the first time since we stepped onto the plane that he might be able to relax. “With you next to me, I think I can manage that.” He smiled, pulling me in close to him and pressing a kiss to my temple.

[sunsetinmyvein]

You Pick a Fight - P2

Eyyyyy it’s prompt time. I have since forgotten what prompt’s @imagine-that-100​ gave me from the prompt list for this part two, but hopefully you enjoy it anyway. :P

And I was right, because it wasn’t over. The pool incident was just the start of much more bickering and fighting over nothing that was set to come during the months between Matty and I. We hadn’t known each other all that well prior to that day, but it definitely set the bar for future interactions. Being argumentative and stubborn was just a habit neither of us could break, much to all of our mutual friend’s annoyance. It might’ve been on the verge of immature, since we were both pushing thirty, but neither of us cared. And we never really meant it. Grudges about stolen floaties were not held for long. It was a rare occasion that we genuinely made up and said sorry, but typically by the end of the day we had either forgotten about it or played some prank on the other to feel avenged about our wrong doing. Over the course of many months of arguing and pranking, Matty and I inevitably became closer. Realistically, Matty was probably one of my best friends by this point in my life. We saw each other at least a couple of times a week for various reasons and I enjoyed his company (mostly). But that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to constantly one-up him and make sure I destroy him any time he challenges me to anything. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? You gotta know your opponent’s weaknesses to best exploit them.

 However, tonight was our regularly scheduled movie night. So, more than likely no arguing would be occurring tonight. The movie had already been picked by democratic vote by the group, which meant there would be no debates about that. Everyone was bringing their own snacks, nothing to fight over. And we rotated who hosted, so no arguments there either. This week it was Matty’s turn. Last week when it had been at my flat, we had picked a comedy movie to watch and ended up receiving a noise complaint from my neighbour about us being “too rambunctious”. I was hoping that we wouldn’t have the same issue to deal with this week given Matty’s much thicker walls. I was cutting up a tray of brownies that I was graciously bringing to share - one of which may or may not have been spiked with cayenne pepper just to spite Matty for last week when he mixed my bag of skittles with m+m’s - while I replayed the events of last week. The details of the movie were actually a bit of a blur, because after the few drinks that I had downed after a rough day at work, I recalled falling asleep. When I woke up, I found myself snoring on Matty’s shoulder. God, that was utterly embarrassing. Other than my snoring, to wake up cosying up to Matty? I’d rather be caught dead. But I must have been too distracted by these memories, because as I was cutting, I slipped and managed to slice open my thumb with my new knife.

  I felt the cut the instant it happened, bracing myself for what I might see before I looked down. Sure as shit, all I saw was a lot of red. The first thought to run through my head was that my brownie plan was ruined. I couldn’t serve brownies that had been doused in blood. The second was that I absolutely needed to seal this wound as soon as possible. I raced to the bathroom, grabbing a roll of gauze and wrapping it around my thumb as tightly as I could. Do I call an ambulance? No, this wasn’t an ambulance sort of emergency. Emergency, though. I should go to the emergency room. Now. But I had to let the guys know I wasn’t coming. I could see the gauze starting to turn red as I searched my phone for Matty’s contact. Fuck, I felt so bad for bailing on this movie night given it was our regular thing, but this was really not good. Really, really not good. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

  “Hey-”

“Look, I need to go to emergency.” I interrupted in a garbled rush.

“What?” He shouted down the line.

“I need to go to hospital, so I’m not gonna make it tonight.” I explained, slightly slower.

“What did you do?” He asked in an incredulous tone.

“I sliced my thumb open cutting brownies.” I just heard him laughing. “It’s not funny, Matty. I need stitches.” I frowned as I started to grab my essentials. What if they wanted to keep me in overnight? Oh my god, I was absolutely not prepared for something like this. I should have a go bag. Is that a thing normal people did? Have a go bag in case they accidentally injure themselves? Maybe smart people did.

“Do you need me to drive you?” He offered as I was contemplating what exactly I would put in a go bag.

“What? Uh, no. I’m okay. I think.” I rattled off.

“I’ll meet you there.” I heard him say. He what? Why would he want to come to the hospital?

“Wait. No, you don’t-” But he’d already hung up.

  Before I left the house, I slapped another few layers of bandage over the gauze on my thumb to try and put some pressure on this cut that was apparently bleeding like a tap by the rate it was turning things red. Driving to the hospital with a thumb as fat as mine was with all the bandages wrapped around it was not easy to say the least, but I managed to get there in one piece. Once I had gotten there, paid for my parking, and then managed to check myself into the ER, I was able to take a seat and decompress slightly. But, the peace and quiet didn’t last long, because not even five minutes after I sat down a familiar face entered through the sliding glass doors.

“Good job.” Matty said as he approached, with a slow clap for emphasis.

“Don’t patronise me.” I scoffed.

“Show me.” He said as he took a seat in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to my own.

“It’s okay-”

“Just show me what you did.” He dismissed.

“I mean, I can’t really take this stuff off-” I gestured to my half blood-soaked bandages, “-or it’ll bleed worse.”

He let out a low whistle as he raked a hand through his curls. “Bloody hell.” He muttered under his breath, before glancing up at me. “Pardon the pun.” He added with a smirk.

“Shut up. It’s really not as bad as it looks.” I lied. I was trying to play it down, to pretend like I hadn’t briefly seen how deep that knife went, but I knew that this was definitely very vital that I see a doctor very fucking soon.

He met my gaze, clearly seeing the stress I was trying to hide. “You’re not very convincing.” He chuckled.

  Despite my protests about him wanting to wait with me, Matty continued to ramble on about what he had done earlier in the day while we sat in the crowded waiting room. He also told me not to worry about cancelling on the movie night, and thanked me for trying to make brownies. If only he had known what his brownie was going to taste like. But at least he was distracting me from the weird sensation in my thumb. After about half an hour, I was called through to be seen by the nurse - which realistically just meant that I sat and waited in another room for a further ten minutes until I was finally seen by someone. When she walked in, she introduced herself and asked for a run down of the situation as she started gathering some supplies. After I had explained what I had done, she started moving towards my giant wad of bloody fabric.

“I’m gonna look away.” I warned the nurse, she just nodded in response. I felt her unravelling the bandages on my thumb, trying really hard to busy myself by studying the vision tester chart on the wall. She let out a quiet hum as she analysed the situation.

“All right. I am going to put some glue on this now to hold it, but we are going to need to anaesthetise you to properly sort this out. Is that okay?” She asked in a calm tone. They were going to knock me out? It was bad enough to need to be knocked out for?? Holy shit.

“Um, yep.” I nodded. “I suppose it’ll have to be.” I added with a nervous laugh. “When will that be?”

“As soon as they can get you in. Likely in the next few hours.” She answered.

  When I came back out of the nurse’s station, I sat back down and told Matty what they had said.

“They need to sedate you?” He asked in shock.

“I’ve apparently done quite a number on myself.” I could feel the stress building up as the realisation set in. Oh my god. I had cut off my thumb. I had cut off my thumb and now they needed to reattach it. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.

“Hey, calm down.” He reassured, placing his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be all right.”

“But what if it’s too late? What if I cut too far? What if-”

Thankfully, Matty interrupted my downward spiral of anxiety. “They would’ve told you if that were the case. They’re going to operate, so it must be fine.” He moved to take my good hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing mind as I nodded in agreement. At least one of us was the voice of reason right now. “When are you going in?” He questioned, seeming genuinely sympathetic.

“They said as soon as possible. I just have to wait here until a theatre frees up.” I replied. He just nodded thoughtfully. “You should go back to the movie night.” I said, eventually feeling guilty that he’d already been sat waiting here for an hour.

“No.” He shook his head as he rifled through his pocket. “You want some gum?” He asked, holding a packet out in my direction.

I looked down at them apprehensively. “They’re not some ridiculous flavour, are they?”

He laughed loudly. “No, I threw the wasabi ones out.”

  It was another hour before I was finally called through to get ready for theatre. Now I was genuinely feeling pretty awful that Matty had been here this whole time. We had well and truly pushed past dinner time, he’d missed the movie, our friends were all sat at his place without him. He can’t have been having a good time stuck here with me.

“Okay, I gotta go in.” I said as I stood up.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He smiled up at me from his seat.

“Just go home, I’ll be fine.” I said as I gestured to the door.

“No.” He grinned.

“Go.”

“No.” His dark brown eyes bore into mine, clearly challenging me to push him further on the subject.

“I hate you, so much.” I grumbled as I heard the nurse call my name again.

“I love you, too.” He said, blowing a kiss for emphasis as I walked off.

  The doctors all reassured me that the operation was going to be quick and easy. Knock me out, stitch me up, wake me up fifteen minutes later. Easy peasy. I had never had any issues with operations, being knocked out was easy. It was the stuff you had to be awake for that was hard. True to their word, when I saw the clock when I started coming to, it had been no more than half an hour than when I last checked the time. But my god I felt groggy. My brain felt like it had been replaced with a bunch of cotton balls and my eyelids might as well have been made of lead. I glanced down at my thumb, seeing a much smaller pile of bandages on there, that were now thankfully not soaked in blood. That was nice. I then caught sight of the man sat next to my bed.

“Hey, you’re up.” Matty said quietly as he stepped over. As soon as he leaned over the bed frame, the fluorescent lights above him just illuminated his dark, curly hair. Holy shit. It looked borderline angelic. “How’re you feeling?”

“Your hair…” I mumbled as I reached out my good hand to touch it.

He seemed surprised by my actions at first, before letting my run a hand through it. “What about it?” He asked with a quiet laugh.

“It’s really soft.” I answered, genuinely quite surprised by how nice it felt. “Has it always been that soft?” I felt like I had been missing out. I could’ve been touching this hair for nearly a year now and instead I had been swapping his shampoo for ranch dressing and perfume.

  Matty seemed keen to indulge my anaesthesia haze, letting me bother him with all of my weird questions about his hair. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy. I did a lot of mean shit to him and here he was, sat with me in emergency all evening instead of hanging out with his friends. After the pranks I’d pulled, I likely didn’t deserve a friend like him. But he’d pulled them on me too. We were a pretty good pair, I suppose. And I had no idea if it was this lighting or what, but dare I say, Matty was looking pretty attractive today. Had I really just been so focused on butting heads with him that I never noticed these things before?

“Are you sure you really look this good? I feel like I must still be dreaming.” I said, pretending to shield my eyes.

He frowned, before the realisation dawned on him and his eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Are you flirting with me?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged.

“Don’t use cheesy pickup lines on me.” He chuckled.

“How else am I meant to pick you up?” I scoffed as I rolled my eyes.

“Are you trying to?” He asked as a smile slowly made its way onto his face.

“Maaaaybe.” I said in an attempt to be non-committal, but then my curiosity got the better of me. “Is it working?”

“I’m gonna remind you of this when you’re properly out of the anaesthetic.” He just looked amused. Not the reaction I had hoped for. But I was too tired to keep trying to come up with clever lines.

“Okay.” I muttered, nodding softly. “Gon’ sleep now, though.” I added.

“Rest up.” He agreed. “You’re gonna need all the energy you can get to deal with me giving you shit for this tomorrow.”  

Part one

Part three

[sunsetinmyvein]

Turn Out the Light

Oh? The last chapter of The Radio Station wasn’t soft enough for ya? Well, here, have some even more soft Matty. Requested by @ghostlightqueen​ off the prompt list~

I could feel my headache pounding away behind my eyes as I stared at the screen in front of me. How long had I been working? Probably too long. Definitely too long. But I just had to finish this last bit and then I could stop for a bit. I had to get on top of the backlog of stuff that had piled up. Had to feel back in control of my workload. But it was difficult trying to be efficient while feeling like my brain was melting. As I was trying to sort out my thoughts, I heard the door behind me open.

“You’re home early.” I muttered without turning around, knowing full well it would be Matty. Nobody else had a key to get in. I was surprised that I hadn’t heard him, though. He would’ve had to have brought bags in with him.

“You’re up late.” He shot back as his hand came to rest on my shoulder. It was a small gesture, but the instant feeling of comfort was incredibly relieving after such a stressful day.

However, I wasn’t about to let that sway me from finishing this, “Mm.”

“How long have you been working?” He asked, pushing past my unwillingness to interact with him.

“What’s the time?” I asked back.

There was a pause, I assume as he checked his phone, “Nearly midnight.”

“Uh,” I started at about ten, so that would make it, “about fourteen hours or so.” I shrugged.

 There was a slight scraping noise, and I saw Matty out of the corner of my eye dragging over the chair from the side of the room. “You need to take a break.” He said, taking a seat next to me.

“I don’t need one.” I dismissed as I looked back at what I was in the middle of.

“Yes, you do.” He argued, placing an arm around my shoulders. I couldn’t help but subconsciously lean into it.

“Just let me-”

“You look like a fucking zombie.” He interrupted with a laugh.

I let out a deep sigh, pinching at the bridge of my nose to alleviate some of the pain rattling around my skull. “I’m fine, I swear.”

“Look, if anyone knows what overworked looks like, it’s me.” I finally took the chance to properly look at him; his normally light curls hanging limp around his forehead like he hadn’t washed his hair in far too long, the bags under his eyes, his dishevelled clothes, the lopsided smile – he was just as exhausted as I was.

  Matty sat quietly for a few more moments as I tried to finish off the project I was on. But it was only about five minutes before he had to interject again. “Come on.” He pleaded, pulling me further into his side. The more I let myself ease into his warmth, the more I could feel how tired I truly was setting in.

“Matty…” I whined in reluctance.

“It’s way too late to be doing this.” He said in what I knew was his attempt at a convincing tone.

“I’m so close to done.” I reasoned.

“Just save it for now and come back to it tomorrow.” He said as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “We both need rest.” I had to admit, he had a point. And now that I’d noticed how tired he looked, I just felt awful for keeping him up too. Damn him and his ability to guilt trip me so easily.

  I groaned as I stood up from my desk chair, stretching slightly and feeling my back crack a few times.

“See, you’ve been sitting still for too long. That’s not good.” Matty reprimanded as he clicked his tongue.

I couldn’t help but snort at his hypocrisy, “Like you can talk, I see how often you crack your neck when you’ve been in the studio all day.” I said.

“You gotta get up and go for walks and stuff.” He continued to give me advice, acting like he hadn’t heard me remind him of his own bad habits.

“Oh, I see how it is. You just wanna dish out advice but not take it?” I chuckled.

“This is about you, not about me.” He said as he shook his head. “Got a headache?” He asked with a concerned frown.

“Maybe.” I muttered, opting to look away from him.

“Save all your stuff, turn that off, go to bed, I’ll grab you some paracetamol.”

  Seeing him be so worried and considerate was endearing to say the least. Even though I was still stressed about getting all this work done, at least for the moment, I felt pretty calm and taken care of. By the time I had gotten ready and clambered into bed, Matty was just walking in, glass of water and painkillers in hand. I downed the pills, hoping they’d take effect quickly. I watched in my peripherals as he got himself sorted, switched the light off and climbed into bed- but I wasn’t really focusing on that, instead I was trying to work out when I needed to get up tomorrow. If I set my alarm for nine, then I should be up and ready in time to get back to work for ten. The sooner I smashed out this job that I was on then I could start the big-ticket item I’d been given this week-

“Stop.” He said, interrupting my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Stop thinking about work.” Matty laughed. “You’ve got that look on your face that you get in the middle of a project.” He said, running his hand up and down my back comfortingly.

“But-”

“Sort it out tomorrow. Sleep now.” He said, cutting himself off with a yawn.

I took one look at him, seeing how he was fighting to keep himself awake to make sure I actually went to sleep as well, as opposed to continuing to fret about work. “Fine.” I huffed. My annoyance was mostly superficial, because it melted away as soon as he pulled me closer to him.

He leaned forward slightly, kissing me gently, “Good night.” He said quietly.

“G’night.” I mumbled, already feeling the sleep that I’d been dying for taking over.

[sunsetinmyvein]

Just You and I Tonight

Another prompt? Another prompt. Requested by one of the best fanfic writers the world has ever known @aphxsia​ off the prompt list~

“Matty, I need a hand.” I called out to my housemate as I rifled through my wardrobe.

“With what?” He shouted back. I heard his footsteps pad closer until his short curls popped up around my doorway.

“I have that date tonight, remember?” I answered.

“Ooooo.” He cooed with a smirk as he sat down on the end of my bed.

“Can you just shut up and help me?” I said, rolling my eyes at his tone.

“What exactly do you need help with?” He asked.

“You know what guys are into-”

“I know what I’m into.” He corrected.

“What am I meant to wear for this thing?” I sighed in exasperation. I’d spent the last half an hour trying to pick something decent and, in the end, decided to deflect the decision.

Matty nodded, looking like he was thinking about this for a second. “Where is he talking you?”

“I dunno, a restaurant.” I shrugged. In all honesty, I wasn’t overly excited about this date, which was probably why I was struggling to choose something to wear. But I felt bad saying no to this poor man when, for all intents and purposes, he ticked all the boxes of what I would usually look for. I just… wasn’t feeling it.

“A fancy restaurant?” He asked.

“I think so.” He actually hadn’t told me where exactly we were going, but he seemed the type to go somewhere extravagant.

“Maybe like a nice dress, then?” He suggested.

“That seems like too much for a first date.” I grimaced. “Especially considering I probably won’t see him again.” I added under my breath.

“A decent blouse, then..?” He said

“Hm. That’ll do, I guess.” I said with a nod, grabbing something off a hanger that I quite liked.

 I ushered Matty out, quickly changing into the new outfit before stepping out into the main living area for his opinion. He looked up from his laptop as I walked in, giving me a once over before going back to whatever he was doing. “What’s the weather meant to be like tonight?” He questioned.

I frowned, unsure where he was going with this, “Pretty cold.” I said. “Why?”

“A jacket might be smart?” He recommended.

“Oh, yeah…” I muttered, glancing down at my short-sleeved blouse. “I don’t think I really have a jacket that goes with this, though...”

“I might.” He said instantly.

“You’d loan me one of your jackets?” I asked in surprise. Matty had a hell of a wardrobe these days - I was certain that many of the things on his hangers were worth more than my car.

“Yeah.” He said with a shrug. His nonchalance about giving out something that cost so much made me envy his pay cheque.

“Aren’t they all fancy and tailored?” I asked, already heading in the direction of his room.

He just chuckled lightly, “I’m sure you’ll pull it off. Don’t worry.” He called after me.

  As expected, his wardrobe was thoroughly impressive. The amount of ridiculous looking Gucci and Saint Laurent outfits in here was crazy. It was actually rather daunting trying to make a decision about what jacket to borrow, because the sheer amount of options was intimidating. After flicking through his hangers, I found a nice medium-length black jacket that would do the trick for keeping the cold out. It didn’t quite fit when buttoned up fully, but having just the bottom button done up looked pretty decent. I made my way back into the living room, waiting for Matty to look up from his laptop before gesturing to the suit jacket. He stared at it for a long moment, before meeting my gaze again. It looked like the gears inside his head were turning, but nothing was coming out of his mouth. Matty didn’t often have nothing to say. “What?” I asked. “Does it look shit?” I asked with a frown.

“No, like… It’s just…” He raked a hand through his curls as he let out a huff of air. “I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.” He seemed pretty worked up over this. I suddenly felt like maybe I should’ve checked the tag. Had I grabbed something stupidly expensive?

“So, it looks good?” I asked apprehensively.

“It looks insanely good.” He nodded with a disbelieving laugh.

“Oh. Great. Hopefully the date goes-”

“Don’t go out with that guy.” He interrupted, shaking his head as he stood up.

  “Huh? Why?” I watched as he stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of me.

“You’re way too good for him.” He scoffed, reaching out to straighten the lapel of the jacket, resting a hand just below my shoulder as he did so.

“Am I just?” I asked in surprise, finding myself laughing slightly. “Who do you propose I date then?”

“Me.” He said simply.

His statement hung there for a second as I processed it. “What?” I could suddenly hear my heart rate hammering in my ears.

“Go on a date with me.” He rephrased. My stomach dropped when he asked the full question.

“What?” How long had Matty been into me? Was this a recent thing or was it a thing when he suggested I move in? This brought up far too many questions.

“Please?” He asked hopefully. As I stared up at him, I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted to say yes to him - and not just to be polite. This, this was the vibe that I had been missing with that other guy. This was why I hadn’t been keen for the date. I just hadn’t realised it was possible for me to get this feeling so close to home.

“You know what?” I started, trying to contain my grin. “Yeah.” I nodded as he broke out into an eager smile. “Grab a coat.”

[sunsetinmyvein]

Some Kind of Disaster

Hot damn, you were right, this was fun to write. Thanks for the suggestion from the prompt list @robinrunsfiction​. And! My first Alex fic. Whatta guy. 

(the goats are not relevant, but I just love this man and his goats. This however, IS relevant)

Being woken up at three in the morning by mysterious sounds in your backyard was never a great thing. The thought that someone was breaking into my house was in the forefront of my mind as I peeked through the blinds, my heart racing as I tried to be discreet in case whoever it was saw me. What if someone was trying to break in? What was I going to do then? Where was my phone? Did I have time to call the cops? But my worries were quickly turned into confusion because there, stood in my backyard, was a random guy, patting my dog. I watched him for a solid minute trying to work out what he was doing. Judging by the squashed shrub in the corner, it looked like he had hopped the fence for whatever reason. He was wearing a hoodie, to hide his face, possibly? So maybe he was trying to break in? But he was making no moves towards any windows or doors..? He just seemed entirely infatuated by Jake. This was weird. This was not at all how I expected my Saturday night to go. After a few more minutes passed and this guy didn’t seem to have any malicious intent, I made my way downstairs to work out what the fuck was going on.  

 I stepped out onto the back lawn, keeping close to the door in case I needed to make a break for it and lock this guy out. But he didn’t even seem to notice me, I could just hear him making weird noises at Jake. Who, for the record, was being an awful guard dog. Apparently, he was a fucking pushover as soon as someone gave him ear scratches.

“What the hell are you doing?” I called out, finally getting this man’s attention. He looked up at me in surprise, his blonde fringe falling into his eyes before giving me a goofy smile.

“I love golden retrievers.” Was the answer that tumbled out of his mouth.

“I can see that.” I nodded with a frown.

“Dogs are so great.” He mumbled as he kneeled down in front of Jake, who was more than happy to keep receiving this attention.

“Why are you in my backyard?” I asked, taking a few apprehensive steps forward.

“What’s its name?” He questioned, opting to completely ignore me.

“Jake.” I answered.

  For all intents and purposes, this guy seemed pretty innocent in his intentions as he now repeatedly said my dog’s name (who just wagged his tail every time). The closer I got to him, the more I saw his slight wobble as he was trying to keep his balance. Ah. He was drunk. This suddenly made much more sense.

“Dude,” I started, placing a hand tentatively down on his shoulder. He looked up at me, with a doe-eyed look in his brown eyes. “why are you in my backyard?” I asked again in a softer voice.

“I-” He hiccupped quietly, “I was trying to take a shortcut and I think I got lost.” He frowned, scratching at his beard as he seemed to be racking his brain for an explanation.

“Shortcut to where?”

“Uh, my place.” He answered. “Or maybe an uber. Or a bus.” He continued, then seemed to get distracted as Jake shoved his nose back into his hand.

“Do you want me to call you a taxi?” I offered.

“Do you have to?” He pouted. “I wanna keep patting this guy.” He whined as he wrapped an arm around Jake’s shoulder and pressed their heads together.

  I had to admit, the sight was pretty adorable. Jake seemed incredibly stoked about this turn of events, and was staring up at me with a complete look of contentment. This random drunken man was also looking pretty cute with his face pressed up against my dog’s. I supposed this situation could’ve been much worse. There were a lot more awful things than having an attractive guy in your backyard fawning over your dog. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

“You have the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.” The guy slurred as he turned back to Jake.

“Are you talking to me or the dog?” I asked in amusement.

“You.” He answered instantly.

“Are you flirting with me?” I laughed. “While trespassing in my backyard?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Is it working?” He asked with what I assume was an attempt at a charming smile, but it just looked a bit dopey.

“Not really, hate to break it to you.” I admitted.

  He stood up, taking a step towards me. “Well, what if-” And then he promptly threw up onto my slippers. Great.

“Gross, man!” I groaned. At least it had mostly gotten on the grass, but these were definitely destined for the trash now. I saw Jake suddenly become incredibly intrigued in my slippers and quickly grabbed his collar to stop him from making this situation even more revolting than it already was. “You ruined my slippers.” I huffed.

“You’re being dramatic.” He said dismissively.

“I’m not being shit! You’re the one who just hurled on me!” I shouted.

“Did I?” He seemed entirely oblivious to the situation.

“God, how drunk are you?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

“I’m just… I’m just gonna sit down.” He muttered as he stumbled a few steps past me towards my back step.

“No! No, you’re not!” I called after him, dragging Jake behind me who still desperately wanted to inspect that patch of grass.

“I’m just gonna sit here for a bit.” He said again as he sat down and rested his head against back against the wall.

“No, get up- ugh.” I tried to grab his hoodie with my left hand, but didn’t have the strength to pull him up and hold Jake. And by the looks of things, it looked like this guy had already passed out anyway. “Fuck sake…”

  * * *

  It was a long Saturday night. I had to haul Jake inside so that I could spray the vomit off the lawn with the hose, and then promptly throw out my slippers. Once I was able to let him back outside, I then had to try and get the very drunk and passed out stranger into the house. A little voice in the back of my mind suggested that it might not be a good idea to take a wasted weirdo into my home, but I wasn’t the sort of person to just leave someone passed out outside. He seemed nice enough. I mean someone who gets distracted by dogs probably isn’t an axe murderer, right? And certainly for how drunk he was, he wasn’t going anywhere fast for a while, anyway. Once he was set up on the couch, it was already approaching five in the morning. I wasn’t likely to get much more sleep, but at least went back to bed for the sake of it.

  When it approached a more reasonable hour, I headed back downstairs. The man was still passed out on my couch. In the light of day, it was easier to properly take him in. His hair clearly wasn’t naturally blonde, because it had a good amount of dark brown growing out into it. The clothes that he was in certainly made him look like he could’ve been a thief, what with the black jeans and dark hoodie. Maybe I should’ve been prepared for the situation that he woke up and tried to mug me… Should I have a weapon handy? As I glanced around the room for something to at least have nearby, I heard him starting to come to.

“What… where…” He mumbled as he sat up on the couch. “Where am I?” He asked as he stared around the room, bleary eyed.

“On my couch.” I spoke, taking a step into his line of vision.

“I- uh, hi.” He said as he stared at me for a second. It looked like he was trying to work out if he recognised me or not. “Who are you?” He questioned eventually.

“The stranger whose backyard you stumbled into last night.” I answered.

“That I what??” He asked in shock.

“Who the fuck are you?” I chuckled. This poor guy seemed to have no recollection of his drunken night out.

“Alex.” He said as he rubbed at his eyes.

  Jake suddenly bounded into the room, clearly having heard his new buddy’s voice. “Hi, Ja- Oh.” Alex started, before catching himself with a look of realisation. “I am suddenly remembering some things…” He said as he stared down at my dog.

“Really?” I asked with a laugh as I watched him process this.

“Your shoes.” He gasped. The look of pure embarrassment on his face was incredibly amusing. “Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry.” He rambled as he looked up at me apologetically.

“It’s fine, they were cheap.” I sighed as I sat down on the recliner opposite him. This guy didn’t seem like he wanted to kill me. I think my decision to drag him inside had been a safe one.

“And I’m pretty sure I ruined one of your plants out there too, didn’t I?” He asked with a grimace as he glanced to the back door.

“I’ve been trying to kill that thing for years, I’m sure it will be fine.” I dismissed.

  Alex looked at me for a moment, seemingly trying to take in how his Sunday morning was going. “Would you let me make it up to you? I swear I’m not normally… like that.” He said, a sheepish smile making its way onto his face.

“You swear?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.

“We were out for an album release party and things got a bit out of hand.” He explained.

“Album?” I questioned instantly. “You make music?”

“Let me tell you all about it, over coffee?” He suggested with a hopeful expression.

I contemplated the offer for a moment. Realistically, I had probably met people under worse circumstances than having them throw up on my slippers. And this Alex guy was pretty attractive. “I’d be down for that.” I nodded.

“Maybe, uh, another day, though.” He amended quickly. “When I’m less hungover.”

Also throwing this here. For reasons.