#Surgeon’s Oath || Mecaela Musings

[executionersghost]

I know I’m like…musing into the void here at the moment, but I’ve got all these thoughts and I need to put a few of them somewhere so-

Milady is def my new favorite of Eva’s characters, and MMMM even tho she doesn’t look like Meca this time around, (save for her Isabelle De Valcour Court disguise lol) the Vibes are impeccable. Esp for smth like ER Meca where it’s the situation of a woman who’s been deeply hurt by all the men and monsters around her, yet still resorting to doing their bidding while nipping at opportunities for revenge when they arise. ”My life has been their life. My death will be my death.”

Like…man…

[executionersghost]

I’ve got a feeling that Meca’s rage will soon move beyond Mohg and Varre to an entirely new target-

[executionersghost]

What is your place in the royal court?

Claire

The Queen.

dignified in your regality, you are a beacon of reason... the true power behind the throne, you take heed of all, cautious in each move you make. some may call you callous in your calculation, but they do not know your heart.

Mecaela

The King.

you hold yourself above the rest; a heavy crown on your head, you consider yourself a step above, the sole decision maker, the one in control. but, is your power only an illusion? take heed, your majesty, the crowds would cheer your beheading fervently as they cheer your speeches.

Alfred

The Fool.

you spark humor wherever you wander, always seeking to brighten a room with the roar of laughter. but, you are no fool. you have seen the pain in the world, and you would give anything to keep others from feeling it, too. though, humor is a balm, not a cure. take care you do not merely conceal your tragedy beneath a smile.

Tagged by: @derjaegermond

Tagging: uhhh I think y’all have been tagged already, but steal and tag me if ya wanna!

[executionersghost]

What Flavor Is Your Soul

Claire

lavender

oh moon child, restless sleeper, tell me what it's like to dream? you float along the margins of reality, picking up the pieces of fallen memories to sculpt into your own realm. you are searching, but your tongue is quiet, quiet, quiet. open your mouth and sing my dear, silence only does you good for so long. and here you planted roots in the darkness, where not even the moon can reach your leaves. there is such a thing as being too practical, for you sail your ship on perpetually calm waters, and never have you spotted land. your mind has wings, uncage them! allow yourself to dream, you are not too far gone. there is no such thing! trust in yourself dear.

Alfred

rosemary

ah, the old soul, nice to meet again. the time of ages is etched into your bones, you see clearly. you've watched the heartache in this realm and sworn to solve it. but kindness without limits is self destruction. oh little leaf, strong and wise, you seek to bring peace with your presence. I'd be wrong to say you fail at this effort, but you mustn't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. you wish to please everyone, to protect them all. but if you shield the saplings from the sunlight they will never grow, and you one day will wither. protect yourself too. you know there are no happy heroes, so don't be one. be a friend. your loved ones will not forsake you for not being perseus slaying all their demons. you have your own monsters, why not meet them first before you conquer anyone else's nightmares. oh true-hearted paladin you are brave, and you are good enough. you know that right? be true to yourself, one cannot do anything saintly if they did not tend to their own wounds first.

Mecaela

vanilla

oh heart of ice and mind of gold, what am I to do with you? you are only good in small amounts, bittersweet fledgling, you are hard for most to swallow. your spirit is strong, your wit is potent, your biting essence drives even the most daring away. but why are you hiding your sweetness? I know within you, you are soft, but humanity has made you bitter. you mask your pain and sorrow with spite and sensibility. you say you do not care about trivial things, but don't you? sweetheart relax. you can let down your drawbridge, the waters are not poisoned. I know you have looked monsters in between the eyes and scoffed at them, but please, relax. you think your armor protects you but it is smothering you slowly. little owlet, when will you learn, words can only get you so far? feelings are what makes this world pulse. do not suppress your feelings. your heart can still thaw my dear. trust.

Tagged by: @yellowfingcr (thank u frond I’ve missed these!)

Tagging: @knightshonour @a-bottomless-curse @fitzjxmes @fearthecoldblood

[executionersghost]

Mmm Yknow I love teeth as a monster aesthetic as much as the next person but seeing as Meca is gonna be a bird-like beast she won’t exactly have fangs or anything. So it’s either-

A. Go the skeksi route

B. Whatever the fuck geese have going on

[executionersghost]

20. what is something your muse wants to tell others, but is too afraid to? / for a muse of your choosing :)

Headcanon meme || accepting

Perhaps it is a bit redundant, but she is afraid of telling others that she is…afraid. Afraid of her affliction. Afraid of her own body. Afraid of facing it all alone. Yet to tell others would be an admittance that she was becoming yet another thing that needed to be hunted, and she’s far too haughty to beg to be spared, if only for a little while.

[executionersghost]

2. how does your muse handle grief?

Headcanon meme || accepting!

Meca is most applicable to this question so I shall answer with her.

Short answer: She does not. It is a little verse dependent however.

I’ll put it under a cut though because it’s A Bit

Obviously the largest object of her grief is her late beloved. His death marked the point where she fell away from nearly every aspect of her life.

Bloodborne Meca sought an escape from her grief in the form of blood. As a consequence, she gradually lost her abilities to perform as a Choirling. Her insight failed her and she regressed further and further into beasthood. She would no longer commune with her fellow choir, her only family, and as for her love of being a doctor…she could no longer perform proper medical procedures. For the presence of warm, living flesh enticed her bestial hungers, and any use of healing blood was…tempting, to say the least.

She made peace with it all however. Existence was nothing but an all-consuming grief, but there was an end in sight. Embracing beastliness would allow her to relinquish her human pains. And beyond that…her beloved waited in death whenever it would come to her. All she has to do now is leave behind as much research as possible before her hands forget how to write.

Elden Ring War Surgeon Meca, however…it does not go so gently.

When she lost him, she couldn’t even cry. She never truly processed what had happened. Even when what remained of his company brought back his helm and glintstone items for her, she never truly let herself believe that he was dead. Really, she knew he was, but a bit of pretend, a bit of delusion, every now and again was an easier exercise than acceptance.

When she was taken by Mohg, she should have become as crazed and blood-addled as the rest of the surgeons. But Varre, the only still-living, still-sane person from her past, held her away from those bloody swamps and kept her from succumbing completely. She resents him for that. She considers him selfish for it. The weight of her grief, and rage, and frustration weighs on her day by day, try as she may to pretend it isn’t there. Why grieve if there’s nothing to grieve over? This is all, of course, without even mentioning the bloodlust that consumes her as a consequence of being forced to imbibe Accursed Blood and make it through only mostly unscathed. Sometimes she’s tempted to give in. A few careless missteps here, some dubious choices there. She will not bring death upon herself, but she wouldn’t be too bothered should it find her.

[executionersghost]

Me: staring at blender at 12AM “Yes I think ER Meca will use the glintstone key of her deceased beloved as a cloak pin close to her heart.”

[executionersghost]

🥃 x 2 one for Claire, and one for Meca. (ER or BB, you decide)

For every 🥃 my muse gets-- they have to take a shot and share a personal fact about themselves that not many know about! || Accepting

Claire

She takes the glass carefully, contemplatively, hesitating a moment before drinking it back in one go. Her face scrunches up as it burns its way down even though she tried to be more stone-faced about it.

“Mmm.” She gives a low hum at first. So much to give up, yet what did she want to give up?

“I didn’t completely mind that some women within my social circle saw me as strange. I, unusually tall with unnaturally pale hair who usually kept to herself unless addressed. I admittedly got quite a bit of humorous fun out of pretending to be the apparent apparition they saw me as. Quietly strolling up behind someone when I am two meters tall in the right sort of heels- well…the looks on their faces when they turned around we’re always priceless. All I had to do was give them an innocent smile in turn.”

Mecaela

The shot goes down easy. A little too easy for her comfort. Had imbibing the blood really dulled this little pleasure so much? Ah well. Best not to dwell on it.

She leans back in her chair, a lazy smirk playing on her features as she tapped a finger upon her cheek in thought. “I know we are only on the first drink but-“ she shrugs. “I’m a lot less fussed to tell about my scars than people may assume. Then again…”

Her hand moved from her face to her shoulder. “Given that they are on my back, few ever get to see them unless we end up in particular situations.” With a low chuckle and a wink, she continues, “So…while I’m certainly not going to give up any secrets of the Choir, I shall say this; I gained them during a ritual. A bit of our arcane arts had gone astray and my assigned protector had been a little late with their loch shield. I was downed for a good while. Healing from burns is quite unpleasant, blood use or no. Nevertheless, it was merely an accident. These things do happen…”

[executionersghost]

What does kindness look like, to your muse? (for Mecaela)

Headcanon/Development Questions || Accepting!

Kindness…

Kindness was the one that carried her to bed in fear that she’d wake up in pain from falling asleep at her desk. Kindness was the one who held her patient’s hand and told them stories to distract them as she did their stitches. Kindness was the one bringing her tea on the days she felt ill. It was the one who cooed encouragement to plants as if they could hear him. It was the one who brought her meals on days she’s forgotten to eat. It was the one who seemingly had the right words for every situation.

Kindness was the boy in the garden.

Yet…kindness is still with her.

[executionersghost]

Picrew!

She’s a good doctor, you can trust her. Honest.

[executionersghost]

Confess your secrets and I’ll tell you what you need to hear.

Alfred

this does not have to be the end of you

you did not deserve that, you did not deserve any of that. one of these days you will feel safe again, you will open your heart and you will find it everywhere. do not be afraid - there is so much love and warmth searching for a way to get to you.

Claire

the sun will not set on you

whatever you are looking for, it can be found. it is waiting for you. this fear has no place in your home. no matter what shape your grief comes in, there will always be a place for you in this world.

Mecaela

let it heal you, but don't let it consume you

you were wronged, and your anger has protected you for so long. through your fury you have grown stronger and wiser, but please do not sacrifice anymore of yourself. remember tenderness, remember vulnerability. don't let this devour you.

Tagged by: stolen from the dash

Tagging: you!

[executionersghost]

When you’ve been working on sorting patient records all night and your beloved urges you to go sleep in an actual bed.

Picrew!

[executionersghost]

💞 for Meca: What would be your ultimate dirty fantasy?

Sinday questions || accepting!

“I can’t help but feel like I’ve answered a question like this before… surely that must say something about me.”

[executionersghost]

12. Is your muse easily flustered? Do they blush, swear, etc.? (for Mecaela)

Vanilla Sunday Meme || Accepting

Outwardly, not at all. She’s typically very reserved and doesn’t tend to make a show of anything she’s particularly feeling. That is, unless, she trusts someone deeply and they’re in a private setting. Even if she’s suffering some inward turmoil, it’s unlikely one would be able to tell unless they’re good at reading people and can see the little frustrated twitch in her fingers. This largely comes from her time spent among Yharnam’s courts. You can’t ‘show your hand’ so to speak, if no one knows what you’re feeling.