You Can Go Your Own Way - Black Rose Part 3
Summary: Niamh hatched a plot to keep Rhys away from her while she had time to heal. Rhys finds out. Part 3 of the Black Rose series.
Pairings: Rhysand x OC (Niamh of the Spring Court, no physical descriptions), slight Azriel x OC
Warnings: ANGST, a bit of betrayal, therapy session, slight stalking, rage rage rage
Word Count: 2965
A/N: So I totally didn’t mean to make this into a series, but I guess that’s the way it’s going. I’m thinking 2 more chapters and I’ll wrap it up, but who knows. Title comes from “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac.
Likes/Reblogs/Comments mean the world to me and help me write faster! Thanks in advance!
Banner by me, dividers by firefly-graphics
Part 1 | Part 2
After pouring Rhys into bed for the third time in as many days, Azriel flew his usual patrol around the city before landing softly in the front yard of a small ivy-covered house on the outskirts of Velaris. He knocked on the front door three times, paused for two beats, then knocked once more.
Niamh opened the door and let him inside. The boxes he and Cassian had moved for her were mostly unpacked, stacked in haphazard piles about the room. Her hair was frizzing out of her braid that had been neat that morning. The purple circles under her eyes made their color stand out all the more. Her plush lips were pulled in a tight line.
“He bought it?” she asked quietly, closing and locking the front door.
“He did,” Azriel confirmed, tucking his hands behind his back. “Spent quite a lot of time debating over which court you’re in while he drank the townhouse dry. Are you okay?”
Niamh chuckled mirthlessly, “Not really. I’m still not convinced this is the right thing to do.” She started wringing her hands in front of her, glancing about the small living room.
Azriel wrapped her small hands in his, capturing her attention. His shadows encircled her wrists, stroking her forearms in an attempt at comforting her. “It’s just for now. You know he wouldn’t stop trying to bring you back into the fold, and that would only hurt you more. This is best until things are…settled.”
“I know,” she muttered, leaning her head into his shoulder. His shadows made room for her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him fully. “I just wish I could skip ahead, you know? Skip all this pain. Get back to normal.”
Her voice was small and muffled against his leathers. Without thinking, Azriel hugged her back. Seeing her like this made his heart ache for her, but he knew she didn’t want pity. She needed a friend right now, which is why he and Mor had worked so hard talking her into staying.
They’d agreed to her terms — only one member of the Inner Circle at her new home at a time, otherwise they might draw Rhys’s attention. Her location was to remain secret until she said so. If Rhys found out before that time was up, they would let her leave Velaris without asking any questions.
But, they had countered with some demands of their own. She had to seek professional help and not wallow in her depression. If she got too unstable or unwell, they could alert Rhys but only if it was absolutely necessary. And finally, her sworn duty to Velaris would remain intact. If Velaris needed her, she would break her isolation.
Their deal had caused a new tattoo to bloom on his left obliques. A rose with dark swirls surrounding it. Mor’s was behind her ear, easily hidden under her long hair, and Niamh’s circled her wrist.
“You’ll get there, Sweetrose,” he reassured, stroking her hair with his damaged hands and delighting in the softness of it. He didn’t know which of them started it but soon they were swaying gently together, slowly rocking from one foot to the other. Like a slow dance, but more sedate.
“I have my first therapist appointment tomorrow. The office is down by the river, will you take me?” she asked, pulling back just enough to look up at him.
“Of course. What time?”
“Ten. You’ll be done with training then, right?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make it work. This is important, Niamh, you’re important.”
“Thank you, Az.” She looked up at him and brushed a curl that had fallen in his face, “You’re important too.”
His heart stuttered in his chest as her fingers brushed along his cheekbone, down his jaw. The look she was giving him caused confusion. Years of working together had given them a close bond, he felt like he knew her as well as he knew Mor, perhaps even better. Still, this look of softness was new to him. He’d been on the receiving end of her caring and comfort, this was not that.
‘Fatigue,’
‘Affection,’
‘Kiss,’
His shadows whispered at him but he ignored them. What kind of male would kiss her when she was so vulnerable? When her situation was so tenuous? Her eyes held a hint of expectation, so he compromised and bent forward to rest his forehead against her own. Still they swayed together, even though there was no music playing.
Neither of them had felt this at peace in a long, long while.
One Month Later
Hypatia’s office was impeccably decorated. Tasteful columns framed the carved wooden doors, the furniture was dyed leather in the softest lavender hue, and she had a seemingly never-ending supply of tissues. Niamh wouldn’t be surprised if they magically replenished.
She leaned forward and took another one, dabbing her eyes and blowing her nose. Today’s session was intense. They’d dived much deeper than Niamh thought possible and now parts of herself she’d wondered about started to make more sense.
Mainly, the reason she didn’t want to speak to Rhys was so she wouldn’t appear vulnerable. If she wasn’t vulnerable, she couldn’t get hurt. Her avoidance, this whole charade she’d set up with Azriel and Morrigan, was to protect herself. But it was isolating, even with Mor and Az stopping by and her coffee dates with Cassian. She was alienating them from Rhysand, unintentionally, but alienating them all the same by making them lie for her.
Moving on was hard work. Her journey wasn’t over, but she was quickly approaching a fork in the road. One way led to the ruin of her friendships, one led to their salvation. Salvation required but a single step, yet it felt insurmountable all the same.
“Do you think I’m ready?” She asked, voice trembling.
Hypatia’s citrine-yellow eyes regarded her with compassion and the female tilted her head. Like her office, Hypatia was carefully styled. Her gray-white hair was swept up in a tight bun, her makeup was subtle and accentuated her gracefully aging features. The dark blue suit she wore was tailored to perfection — when Niamh had asked, Hypatia insisted she tailored all her own clothing. Niamh believed her.
“I think you’ve done some great work in this room,” she said, her low melodic voice soothing Niamh’s nerves, “and you’ve come a long way in a short amount of time.”
“I sense a ‘but’,” Niamh said, a poor attempt to lighten the mood in the room.
“But I can’t make that decision for you. If you feel you’re strong enough, you are. And you are strong, Niamh, but don’t feel the need to rush.”
Niamh considered her words. “I think it’s time. I’ve been…hiding, running away, for too long. My friends deserve better. Rhys deserves better.”
“You also deserve better.”
“Right,” Niamh sighed, not quite believing it but knowing that she could trust Hypatia’s judgment.
“Can you say that for me? I deserve better?”
Damn her.
“I deserve better,” Niamh said, looking down at her hands.
“Once more, louder,” Hypatia encouraged.
“I deserve better,” Niamh responded, a little louder.
“Last time, like you believe it!”
“I deserve better!” she half-shouted and for the briefest of moments, she believed it. She deserved better than living in fear that Rhysand would find out where she’d hidden herself away. She deserved better than only having part-time friends who needed to maintain distance so as not to spill her secret. She deserved to live her life and be happy and this unresolved tension wouldn’t allow that.
“That’s my girl!” Hypatia nodded and glanced at her wristwatch. “That’s a good place for us to pick up next time. Thank you for sharing today, Niamh.”
The two females stood and Niamh went to the door, “I’ll see you Thursday?”
“I’ll see you then,” Hypatia said, opening the door and Niamh exited through the waiting room onto the street.
A ways away, someone was playing a snappy tune on a trumpet. The day was nice, not too warm, and sunny but not too sunny. Niamh left her therapist’s office feeling lighter, like a Rhysand-sized weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She made her way down the street, footsteps in time with the music.
She was getting better.
Azriel had been oddly tongue-tied about his afternoon plans when Rhys had asked him, so he decided to follow the Shadowsinger. With his shadows and his keen senses, it wasn’t an easy task. A few times, Rhys definitely thought he was caught but if Azriel knew his High Lord was following him, he gave no indication.
The male flew his normal circuitous patrol above the city before heading toward the newer section of Velaris, which had been outskirts fifty years ago but was now full of small charming homes and new businesses.
What is he doing here? Rhys wondered. To his knowledge, Az hadn’t moved. Then again, he was the spymaster for a reason. Perhaps he had moved and just hadn’t mentioned it.
Azriel landed gracefully in front of a small stone-facade house that was mostly covered with ivy. Light shone through the thin curtains in the windows — someone was already here.
Was this the home of one of his informants? Or had Az finally given up on Morrigan and found love? Hope fluttered in Rhys’ chest for his friend as he watched him approach the front door and knocked thrice, paused for two beats, and then knocked once more.
The door opened on an all-too-familiar face. A face Rhys had only seen in memories. A face he had been told had left his Court. A face he had once loved more than anything.
Niamh’s face lit up in a smile as she welcomed Azriel. Rhys was too far away to hear what they were saying, but she was clearly happy to see Az. They exchanged pleasantries, then the door closed with both of them on the other side.
No way would she have been that happy to see him, no way she would welcome her High Lord into her home like that. Jealousy turned his blood to acid in his veins. It took the entirety of his self-control to not bust down the door and demand an explanation.
Instead, he winnowed to Amren’s street and burst into her home. The cat-eyed female was lounging on her sofa, looking entirely unbothered by his intrusion.
“Hello to you too, Rhysand,” she said, not getting up. “What’s got your hackles up?”
“Niamh,” he panted, “She’s still in the city. Azriel knows. Even though he told me he flew her to the border, she’s still here!”
Amren only nodded, “I know this.”
He gaped at his second in command. “What?”
“Azriel and Mor made the deal with her to get her to stay.”
His stomach was in his shoes. His mind was racing with questions. He needed answers, so he sent out a blaring mental message to all of his Inner Circle.
House of Wind, NOW.
“I’m sitting right here, Rhysand.” Amren droned from her seat, and he flipped her a rude gesture before winnowing to the House of Wind.
Cassian was already there, shirtless and damp with sweat. He toweled himself off as Rhys started pacing the living room.
“Everything okay? That was a pretty intense message,” Cassian asked. Rhys didn’t answer. Amren appeared and draped herself across the sofa much as she had in her home moments ago. Morrigan was the next to arrive, wearing a dress that was meant for Rita’s and her makeup half-done.
“What’s so urgent? Are you okay?” she asked, worry in her tone.
“I am absolutely not okay, Mor. Where the fuck is Azriel?” He asked no one, pacing becoming more intense. Of course, he knew exactly where Azriel was. He was with Niamh in the house he’d hidden her in, right under Rhys’s nose.
Mor and Cassian exchanged a nervous glance. The shadowsinger appeared a moment later. Tension filled the room as Rhysand caught sight of the male, halting in his tracks but not saying anything.
He could feel rage building inside him, but took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“Everyone sit,” he demanded, using his High Lord tone. Cassian and Mor joined Amren on the sofa, Azriel took a chair. Amren was the only one unaffected by the stifling atmosphere — the remaining three members of the Inner Circle were glancing between them, trying to figure out what had caused their High Lord to scream into their minds.
Rhysand moved behind the open chair and gripped the back of it. The velvet felt soft under his fingers. His anger was simmering in his chest, tensing his shoulders. Gathering his thoughts felt like a herculean task, but he managed it.
“The thing about betrayal,” he started, “is that it never comes from your enemies.”
“Betrayal? What are you talking about, Rhys?” Mor asked, trying to make eye contact with him but instead he glared at each member of his family in turn.
“You’ve all been lying to me. I know Niamh is still in Velaris.” He held up his hand to stop Mor and Cassian’s interjections, “And I want to know just what in the Mother-fucking fuck you all were thinking when you decided to lie to me.”
He lowered his hand and stuck both hands in his pants pockets. Azriel’s shadows flickered around him like the tail of a nervous cat. Mor looked between the Illyrians, then rose to her feet and approached him.
“Okay, yes, we lied to you about Niamh leaving,” she explained gently, “But we never meant to hurt you. We did it for her. She was…not well, Rhys. Not leaving her apartment, not sleeping, barely eating. She needed us, but she was dead set on leaving Velaris because she couldn’t handle your presence looming over everything. So Azriel and I talked to her, got her to agree to stay.”
Mor was too good at conciliatory explanations. His anger was nearly quashed, replaced with guilt and curiosity. He raised an eyebrow at her. Sweeping her swath of golden hair away from the left side of her neck, she turned her head, exposing her neck to him. He took a step closer and noticed a tattoo of a small rose behind her ear — the symbol of her agreement with Niamh.
“You had to make a deal with her?” he asked, imagining where Niamh’s tattoo appeared.
“Yes, we did. Only Mor and I, though, so Cass and Amren could have plausible deniability.” Azriel explained.
Rhys looked at Cassian and Amren, “Plausible deniability?”
“I only knew she was still here, not where,” Amren answered with a shrug.
Cassian held his palms up toward the ceiling, “I only met her in public.”
“So you were protecting her? From me?”
“Only until she gets better. Once she feels she’s ready, she’ll move back to her apartment and return to the Inner Circle.” A low tone from Azriel, like the growl of a panther.
“Do you really expect me to give her space now that I know she’s still here?”
“Yes,” Azriel snapped immediately, the growl becoming a snarl, “You will stay. Away. From her.”
Rhys stalked toward where Azriel still sat, slow steps to make sure the spymaster understood the danger in provoking him. His eyes locked onto Azriel’s hazel ones. First one to blink loses, becomes the prey. “Are you going to make me?”
“I will if I have to,” Azriel’s tone was dangerously protective. His scarred hands clenched into the arms of the chair he sat in, holding himself back.
Mor moved between them, intercepting Rhys before he got much closer to Azriel. “One of her conditions was if you found out, we would have to let her leave. No questions asked, she could just disappear and we’d never see her again. You don’t want that, right?”
Rhysand broke his eye contact with Az, instead taking in his cousin’s beseeching look. Her hand on his chest, above his heart, provided the first grounding sensation he’d felt since he followed Azriel to Niamh’s home.
She was right, of course. He knew that if he showed up at Niamh’s door now he would lose her forever. Flushing her out would only serve to put more distance between them and decimate any slim glimmer of hope that he had for their reconciliation. He sighed, relaxed his shoulders. The adrenaline fueling his anger finally left his body and his chin dropped to his chest.
“No. I don’t.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Fuck. I hate it when you’re right.”
Mor smiled gently, “You think you’d be used to it by now.”
Mirthless chuckles left his lips. He took a few steps away and collapsed into the chair he’d gripped before. All eyes were on him. Azriel regarded him with a blank stare tinged with suspicion, but Rhys brushed it off.
“Is she okay?”
Mor nodded enthusiastically, “Much better. She’s almost back to her old self.”
“Now that we’ve got that settled,” Amren interrupted the silence, “Can I go now? I have a hot date with my own sofa and a bottle of Day Court wine.”
Rhys waved his hand in front of him absentmindedly. “Go, enjoy your wine.” Amren disappeared, but the other three fae remained.
“How about you, Rhys,” Cassian piped up. “You okay?”
Rhys let himself relax, let his mind wander a bit until a cold hand gripped his diaphragm and squeezed — fear, he was feeling fear but not his own.
‘Please, somebody, say something! Help me! Save me!’
He snapped to attention at the pleading voice in his head. All he said was, “Feyre,” before he winnowed away.
His mate was in trouble, and he had to help her.
Niamh could wait.
Part 4
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