#TBC because im down to 5% battery lmaoo

[goldflinches]

so. Dream gets cursed by an spurned admirer/ex/random vindictive magic user which he pays absolutely no mind to because he's definitely been cussed out worse than that.

But suddenly anyone and everyone he encounters becomes a simpering mess/fawning idiot around him. in the Dreaming, everyone acts so horrendously out of character that it becomes so so awkward for him. absolutely tanks his productivity. the earthquakes (dreamquakes?) may or may not facilitate in some necessary physical distancing. someone lobs the L word at him and he nearly rips a hole through space and time to get away. it's better/worse in the Waking world. he doesn't know these people trying to seduce him. but they are still trying to seduce him so he does the Endless version of power walking away from this problem.

and he makes his way to The New Inn where he knows Hob is. he has absolutely no idea what Hob can do but going to a friend is a better alternative to just going from realm to realm, power walking away from a collection of people convinced they are in love?? with him????

Hob is definitely at his usual place in the New Inn and can absolutely feel the change in atmosphere the moment Dream enters. suddenly everyone zeroes in on Dream and Hob...has never seen that expression on his friend's face. like a cornered animal, if only in the form of a more than a god, no less than a goth that is Dream of the Endless. so Hob manages to shoo away the crowd from Dream, using his extraordinary powers of being the owner of the inn everyone is in to good use.

they hole up at Hob's place and try to figure out what the actual fuck is going on. Hob concludes that yes Dream, someone saying that "your lack of understanding of love is obviously caused by the scarcity of it in your life," and "that can be solved easily," is at the v least a red flag and at most the reason why there is a horde of people on your walking aphrodisiac ass rn. Dream points out that it's mild criticism not a curse. Hob does not have the training or time to unpack that one today.

hijinks that occur while they're trying to uncurse Dream:

call in Constantine for back up. the house call goes very badly for everyone involved. there was a sultry come on. a creature older than humanity lowkey scrambling up the kitchen shelves. an immortal testing his immortality by throwing a hissing magic user out the door. anyway. the consultation goes on much better on the phone. everyone promises never to talk about this incident ever again.

Dream contemplating on whether he should call on his siblings because they might know something about this or even causing it. but what they also get affected by this curse. would Dream be able to handle that?? and his thoughts spin out of control until Dream wordlessly just lies down on Hob's living room floor. Hob panics because is this the next part of the curse??? no it's just Dream borrowing trouble which is it's own curse but one at a time please and thank you.

Hob fighting off a delivery person who nearly breaks the door down when they catch a glimpse of Dream still on the living room floor. no one was hurt, no dumplings were forsaken, a huge tip was placed on the delivery person's face before closing the door.

the nature of love is discussed over dimsum. it's mostly how Dream deserves to be loved and respected (Hob) vs huh what a concept (Dream)

Matthew tries to sneak in so Hob and Dream have to find new hiding places in the Hob's place. the current favorite is under a blanket with a flashlight on

At some point Dream realizes that Hob is just. the way he usually is around Dream. no throwing himself af Dream or flowery declarations or anything??? Dream concludes (wrongly) that Hob's immortality might be making him immune. Hob is just sitting there, wondering if going "lol no, it's too late for that!! i've been down bad for you for centuries!!!" would be an appropriate response. it's not but god is he tempted. he gives in to his other temptation and lets Dream think that "yes immortality has anti-curse properties i guess, you really do learn something new everyday (cue nervous laughter)" 👀👀👀