#THAT RUNWAY OH BIIIITCH

[spaceboxingpsycho]

C-PHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[loosinmynoodles]

A fake redhead with a heart of gold finds love with a negging alaskan lumberjack despite being engaged already

A Frosrty Affair 

I clicked on this because I loved a Holiday Engagement and wanted to ride that high. This summary sounds like a romance novel, like any of them, yes that one. So far its cute and very self-aware of how it looks going into it. 

Girl (fake redhead who’s a pro-bono school teacher) has been snowed into her house and literally throws her suitcases through the opening and slides out. Her tromping in the snow even has funny timing. 

She just throws contents of suitcase into the snow like the’yre nothing- I love small budget movie details. 

Man zooms in on snow-mobile to save her (Im guessing) from otherwise lame man plans she had before. She’s trying to get out of this Alaska(?) town to see her fiancé (he’s lame). 

Snow-mobile man is rude. 

Snow-mobile man is not responding to her obvious predicament. 

She throws a candle at him as he snow-mobiles away and it works lol she states that she doesn’t have a week shes getting MARRIED (uh hello?) she can’t wait a week for the runway to be cleared. 

He can’t take her with him he doesn’t need the extra baggage (what?!) 

She is stranded with bags at a snowed in trailer. 

We cut to her father being stressed planning her wedding- sister doesn’t know who Jesus is- aaaaaaand we get a full shot of the fiance and he’s slimyyyyy and awkward- fiance tells people she’s uhhhhhhh gonna be a little late :/

We get a cut to snow-mobile guy calling someone and he’s gonna just like, snow-mobile for 3 days to get to location. 

Girl tells SNG (snow-mobile guy) shes gonna follow him on her newly bought snowmobile and he can’t stop her then he like, shows her his gun? I’ve never seen such serious negging in my life. And he’s barely said a word! So powerful. She calls him strong man and says she doesn’t scare easy (she gets scared easy). He is not Strong Man (SM) and she is spunky red head who is morally correct (SRWMC). 

Pausing in Amazon video shows actors names and character names and his characters name is apparently Redford which is way better than SM or SNG. Just Redford. No last name. 

So they’re trecking and he moves a log out of her way. She goes the wrong way anyway. He does a dramatic jump and waits for her to turn around once she gets there. I feel shes too spunky to turn away now. I’m right. 

She crashes and he starts doing CPR but she wakes up during and she beats him off. He told her I SAVED YOUR LIFE lmao he didn’t do anything. 

HE keeps calling her Lady. 

She says PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take me to snowy pines. 

He FROWNILY agrees as long as she doesnt talk!!!! 

Cut to slimy telling dad not to worry- she’ll be here in 3 days! Dad tells sister “Don’t. Just don’t”. 

She puts a whole bottle of lighter fluid into the fire place to try to make a fire and she BLOWS UP and he runs in, PICKS her up over his shoulder, runs 5 feet and plops her into the snow to PUT OUT A FIRE THATS ON HER ARM!!

He explains fire to her but its ok here because she honestly doesn’t know. 

OH MY GOD!!!! his is the best movie ever!!!! 

the owner of this cabin shows up, kicks the girl out, and corners redford to try to kiss him all within 12 seconds uggggghhhhh!!!!! also the best line I’ve ever heard was said but I dont want to spoil it. 

She needs his help getting out of his jumpsuit (her bags were left with the sexual predator) but right before she pees, a BEAR COMES, redford tackles her and says to play dead. (this is wrong don’t do this with brown bears) and the bear roars and then walks away but not before breaking their snow-mobile. 

They come to a frozen lake and she stands up for herself my stating shes an independent person who can decide to go over the unsafe frozen lake if she wants to. he says theres no going back if we decide to do this. it becomes a metaphor for human relationships I think. 

He goes to tell her personal facts (just to shut her up) but they fall into the ice water AHHHHHHHHH whoda thunk?

So they BOTH fall in but he carries her out of the lake????? I hope she starts a fire to redeem herself for earlier. 

omg I’m right. 

shes ok from the freezing lake water but hes not ok. Fire is MADE!! 

cut to sister and slimy doing the worst porn intro i can imagine but it doesnt happen because he bucks and head butts her nose and she screams hahah and runs away. 

cut back to out awesome fire and we are all ok! 

we have to strip down and dry our clothes unfortunately no matter how much i DONT wanna see your boobs I guess i have to. he negs by saying she might actually be a small B cup and not a large B cup like he suspected but she stands up for herself! shes a full B ok!? 

lmao hes ripped and he sneaks a peak. everyone (me) is happy. 

They’re quoting authors at each other because they’re BOTH SMART oK. 

They’re (IM) falling in love. 

They’re out of the woods! they are they’re at a mill or something. 

ok so they steal this guys food and a tractor and hes locked out of his cabin in his underwear! 

their tractor then runs out of fuel

a motel only has one room open and its the romance room which is a kids ben with foam snow bricks and a disco ball. 

She snoops in his things and finds a picture of a woman and a kid ohhhhh i think she thinks hes married so she storms off. 

shes tells Brad all the exciting things shes done adn hes just happy shes safe and says nothing will ever happen to you again then kisses her on the forehead lmaooo

her mom sees shes not into it

lmaooooo her mom recognizes Redford as an author. BIIIIIICTH hes an author!!!! 

She wants a quick detour to redfords house oN HER WAY TO THE CHURCH and Jodie is his MOM Biiiccttthhhhhhh!!!!!

Redford DOES have a daughter but apparently its with a British woman who cheated and is raising the daughter with another man!!!! 

Shes fuckinggggggg at the altar shes apologizing a loooooottttt and left him at the altar.   The sister cozies up to him right there omfgggggg the dad is fine with it!! mom knew it would happen but didnt say shiiiittt!!! !  

Biiiitch he SNOW MOBILES up to the church!! she smacks him!!!!! they kiss!!!!! they snow mobile away!!!!! 

crying!!!! what did i just watchhhhhh!!??