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today i learned anxiety and allergy attack dont mix
#never eating gummy apple rings again#drove to the lake to go swimming and coming back stopped at the little general store for a snack#chose apple rings bc they taste AMAZING and drove back home#had a few (3 or 4) while driving and started making cookies when i came back#bc i had an invite to some neighbors' dinner and i wanted to bring something#so i was already anxious about that and thought that a swim would tire me out and id be less anxious#the first batch of cookies (lemon sugar) are in the oven when i feel a familiar tingling in my tongue#i go OH SHIT and grab my benadryl that i keep on me#and pray to the lord that i caught the allergy attack quick enough and it would diminish in about 20 min#WRONG#ALL SYSTEMS FREAK THE FUCK OUT#I HAVE 3 MINS LEFT WITH COOKIES IN THE OVEN#IM ABOUT TO PASS OUT ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR (EVEN SITTING DOWN)#MY MIND IS THINKING AT LEAST I CAN BREATHE I CAN STILL BREATHE#BC THE GD HOSPITAL IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#EVERYTHING HURTS LIKE HELL#THINK LIKE BASIC ALLERGY ATTACK AND ADD PERIOD CRAMPS TO IT AND YOU'VE ALSO BEEN STUNG BY A THOUSAND BEES#SO I SOMEHOW MUSTER THE STRENGTH TO TAKE THE COOKIES OUT OF THE OVEN SO THEY DIDN'T BURN TURN THE OVEN OFF AND STUMBLE TO MY ROOM#I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DIE#SO NOW MY THOUGHTS ARE OH GOD NOT HERE NOT THIS WAY I DONT WANT TO DIE FROM STUPID APPLE RINGS#tw emetophobia#AND EVERYTHING JUST COMES UP#IT'S AWFUL#IM LAYING ON THE COLD TILE OF THE BATHROOM WHILE MY WHOLE BODY DECIDES ✨FEVER TIME✨#STILL CAN'T MOVE BC EVERYTHING IS CRAMPING#I LAID THERE FOR PROBABLY 15 MINS#CRAWLED TO GET MY HEATING PAD AND SOME IBUPROFEN (A MIRACLE COMBO)#AND SLEPT FOR AN HOUR AND IT ALL FINALLY WENT AWAY#I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK 😭😭😭😭#irl
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