#THIS IS FROM . JUNE I THINK JSYFJFSYSIYFUHFSSIYFIYFSIYFSIUFS

[latinozevran-archive]

man... do not know if i have ever made a post abt this at all period in over a year of sgrsposting but i am thinking abt.. parenthood 😔 like such a big theme and central aspect obviously but i rly do not think i have ever written abt it before... thinking abt the scene with miyokichi holding konatsu and just saying im sorry im so sorry im sorry and i think that apology is directed to more than just konatsu but she is at the center of it and the pivotal moment there of course is how much that infuriates baby konatsu and fuels what happens next but never not once is she blamed by the narrative for the death of her parents. it is never positioned as her mistake or the result of her failure to forgive her mother and the event is so severely traumatic she forgets it altogether--including her mom asking for her forgiveness and her refusal. and kikuhiko was a terrible dad lol but he never ever ever tells her it is her fault and he dedicates his entire bad parenting scheme towards making her think it was all his fault akdjfhfhjf which was not exactly a father of the year award worthy move either but is also indicative of the fact that he truly didnt blame her at all and again thinking abt how in those last moments he is just clinging onto baby konatsu for dear life covering her eyes to protect her and in a scene where she is entirely absent the first time around she is suddenly at the center of it all as the most important thing to all three of them completely recontextualizing the story...

and i think it is just so fascinating u know for a story about family and trauma and dysfunction where forgiveness is absolutely a central question but it is not a debate at all like To Forgive Or Not which i think is put at the center of soooooooooooooooo many stories about troubled parent/child dynamics lol but kikuhiko never expects konatsus forgiveness and konatsu never rly offers it... and he really does not deserve her forgiveness either. like he is a wonderfully complicated character but objectively was a horrible father and the narrative could not be more clear about that lmao . but instead so much of it rly is about like love and forgiveness are not the same thing you can love someone without forgiving them and you see it over and over and over and in fact the characters who do pursue blind forgiveness for unhealthy behavior--like miyokichi endlessly excusing kikuhikos immaturity and cruelty and kikuhikos often like. frankly naive approach towards sukerokus substance abuse issues bc he does not know what else to do--are punished severely for it... the only way for konatsu to push forward and break the cycle of toxic grudges and excuses is to not forgive kikuhiko but also not punish herself for that and in doing so she could finally reconcile her love with her resentment and idk just all around an interesting way to discuss adult relationships with your parents when you're in the process of creating your own family and support system and suddenly you find your parents don't need to be everything they failed to be when they were supposed to be your world and that doesn't diminish their faults but it frees you to be your own person and if the situation calls for it to form a new kind of relationship w them..