#TangoDancer!Peeta

[thegirlfromoverthepond]

The Firebird - Chapter 23

Step 23 : Dance (Santiago’s Dream)

My deepest thanks to @xerxia31, @titaniasfics and dandelion-sunset for their expertise in grammar, spelling, commas and everything that needed to be corrected … and there was a lot. Ask xerxia about my meltdowns …

To @akai-echo  – thank you my friend for everything you’ve done for this fic – the banners and aesthetics are beyond gorgeous.

Only one chapter left, folk – and a epilogue – should  I post them separately ?

Here on AO3 - FFN

It was easier now to start her day. The burden of the show was gone, the pressure off her shoulders. The company got excellent reviews, praising Cinna’s creativity in terms of costumes, as well as the ensemble performance of the dancers. Katniss herself even got some very good ones pointing out how her performance made the Firebird believable.

But all those good words were nothing compared to how proud Peeta was of her, staying by her side the whole evening long, ending up at Chez Valerie with all of the other dancers, like in the good old days, but always keeping his focus on her, never on his aborted ballet career.

There was a hilarious moment when Finnick called, after his own day of rehearsals, to congratulate her on her hard work. Apparently, Peeta had sent him pictures. For the first time in a long time, Katniss felt free, happy and light. She knew the big show of the season was coming up, and she hoped she would have a role to play in it - one of the fairies, maybe, whichever would be a fit for her. But the nominations wouldn’t come for quite some time, and she didn’t want to think about it yet.

For now, her only concern was finding tiny Rue in the crowd of people surrounding the Arena, rushing to get inside the theater. Tonight, along with a bunch of other dancers from the National, they were going to see Peeta’s show. And she didn’t mind seeing him dance on a stage. She enjoyed the way his body moved with an almost feline grace. She’d seen it in hours of rehearsal together, and in their newfound intimacy - hands wandering under the clothes, tentatively mapping each other, even if they still had yet to take that big step together.

“Katniss!” Rue’s high-pitched voice tore her out of her memories of Peeta’s hands under her camisole two nights ago, his fingers brushing the sides of her bra, the shivers it elicited on her heated skin. Katniss could see Thresh following his girlfriend, a polite smile on his face - he apparently wasn’t as excited as Rue to come.

“I’m so glad we can go together! And Thresh told me Peeta would be on stage tonight?” Rue said, fumbling in her purse to find the tickets.

“Yes he will be, I hope you don’t mind, Theodore?” Katniss chimed in, taking her ticket out of her jeans pocket. Being the girlfriend of one of the dancers had its perks, as she had realized when he had handed her her free entrance pass. Thresh grumbled an answer, clearly not as happy to be the only man in the group.

They were all ushered inside, their seats near the very front of the Arena, and waited until the now familiar music started. Familiar for Katniss, at least. She wasn’t surprised anymore by the music of Ricky Martin blasting out of the speakers, and focused her attention on Peeta’s appearance on the stage, to Alfredo’s music.

Katniss remembered that night he danced with Delly in the opening number, making her spin and turn, dance in the light. Katniss didn’t feel any jealousy towards the woman in his arms - their relationship was one of brother and sister, and Delly was clearly head over heels about her fiancé and couldn’t wait to marry him.

But her practiced eyes saw something more to her dance - something a bit off. Like Delly wasn’t as sure as she had been the previous time.

Of course, she smiled to the crowd, but Katniss’s trained eyes noticed a little limp, a little something that was amiss, like how Delly leaned onto Peeta a bit more. She turned her head, meeting Thresh’s eyes and nodded, answering his silent question.

She made a mental note to text Peeta at intermission, to ask if everything was right with Delly.

The first part of the show passed in a whirlwind of colors and applause, of latin music and dance. Even Thresh was sucked into the spectacle, Katniss could see his fingers tapping the tempo on his thigh.

As soon as the intermission started, her phone buzzed with a text from Peeta, asking her to come backstage as soon as the lights were on. Katniss quickly excused herself from her friends, dialing Peeta’s number as she tried to find a secluded place to talk to him.

“Kat, can you come backstage? We need you!”

“What do you mean you need me? Oh, Peeta, did you hurt yourself?”

She could hear him chuckle on the other end of the phone.

“No, nothing like that. But I, well, we have something to ask you. Can you come backstage? Gloss will let you through.”

“Okay - let me tell Rue and Thresh and I’ll be right there. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Sweetheart, I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Don’t call me Sweetheart!” she answered, her usual comeback when he used the pet name she disliked, even though she knew it was futile. Peeta was almost as stubborn as she was. His laugh was the last thing she heard as he hung up the phone.

Katniss quickly moved back to where Rue and Thresh were sitting, telling them she was heading backstage for a few minutes, before actually going to the stage, nodding at Gloss, the muscle-man standing guard - who was actually a sweetheart - and slipping behind the curtain.

She searched for any sign of Peeta, making her way into the locker room, greeting some of the dancers she recognized.

“They are in the room in the back,” Johanna said, passing Katniss. She was clad only in a tiny red thong, a bottle of water in her hand. “This is going to be fun!”

Wondering what the hell she meant, Katniss entered the room Johanna indicated to discover Peeta bent over Delly, who was lying on one of the benches lining the walls, a pack of ice on her left knee.

“Oh my god, Delly, what happened?”

In a blink, Katniss crossed the room, taking in the puffy red eyes, the traces left by the tears Delly had shed.

“She sprained her knee, I think,” Peeta said, rising from Delly’s side and coming to Katniss immediately, folding her in a hug. “Thanks for coming, Kat.”

She returned the hug, happy to see nothing bad had happened. Of course, Delly’s knee would need to be tended to, but it was nothing a few good weeks of rest couldn’t heal. Katniss pulled away from Peeta’s arms, and said, “You want me to drive her to the hospital?”

“Not exactly…” she heard Delly answering her question. “Thom is coming to pick me up… but we need someone to dance with Peeta in the finale.”

“Oh, who will do it? Johanna?” Katniss asked as she watched Peeta rake his hand nervously through his hair, his cheeks turning redder by the minute.

“You’re really brainless, Brainless.” Johanna made her entry, now wearing a gorgeous black lace dress opened high on her thigh. “You dance with him.”

“I can’t dance in this! That’s a crazy idea!” Katniss answered. “And why don’t you dance with him?”

“Because all of the other dancers are on stage in the number just before the finale, and only Dells was available,” Peeta finally spoke. “I know you can do it, Kat - it doesn’t have to be perfect, and we can rehearse a bit before the end…”

“I’ve never danced like that and you know it, Peeta!” She could feel the familiar grip of fear spreading through her body, leaving a cold feeling in her veins. She knew she should go back to her seat in the audience, should go back to Rue and Thresh as soon as possible. But there was something in Peeta’s eyes as he looked at her, something she had never seen before, something she couldn’t decipher. He was raking his hand through his locks over and over again, when a high pitched ring startled him.

“We have to go back,” Johanna said, breaking the silence.

Peeta nodded at the brunette who hurriedly left the room. Then he came to Katniss, taking her hand in his and guiding her to a quiet corner at the other end of the room.

“I have to go back, I’m opening with Jo instead of Dells,” he said, looking at her sadly. “I’m sorry Kat, I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. We’ll stop the show one number before, it won’t be too bad, the girls can fill in for Delly and it’s just one number.”

Katniss felt relief in the pit of her stomach as she realized she wouldn’t have to go on stage, perform the last dance of a show, a dance she didn’t know and didn’t have time to learn.

“Don’t worry, I understand. Go, you’re needed on stage.” Katniss leaned in, pecking his lips, eager for more, so eager, but it was neither the place nor the time for that. “I’ll stay with Delly until Thom arrives, okay? Go, be great!”

She leaned in again, wanting to feel the warmth of him again, even if it was for a split second. She allowed her lips to trace his jaw - she liked his jaw - until she reached his ear, whispering, “I love to watch you dance,” before pulling away and walking to Delly, leaving Peeta speechless, with sparkles in his eyes.

Or maybe it wasn’t sparkles.

Maybe it was desire.

But his look did something to her too, elicited feelings from deep down and a warmth that she wasn’t sure she could staunch much longer.  She turned back to see the look in his eyes, then turned again and felt his gaze burning between her shoulder blades, as she walked towards Delly, until she heard the door closing.

“He’s a good guy,” Delly said as Katniss sat next to her head. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I know.” It wasn’t news to Katniss that her boyfriend was a nice man. Maybe the nicest she’d ever met.

“He’s been happier the past few weeks, I guess I understand why…” Delly added, with a small smile on her face. “I guess he’ll change his mind about the +1 at our wedding…”

“What do you mean?” Katniss was startled, not really understanding what the other woman was saying.

“He said I didn’t need to send him an invitation for a plus one for the wedding, but that was months ago. So I’m going to send him one, because I bet he will want you by his side.”

Delly’s wedding. Katniss hadn’t honestly paid a second of attention to the upcoming June nuptials, even though she knew Peeta would attend. Would he want her to come with him?

“You sure you don’t want to go on stage with him?” Delly asked again, breaking Katniss out of her reverie. “To dance the last dance?”

“Delly….” Katniss sighed. “I’m not a Latin dancer, you know that. I would only ruin the show. And even if I could dance these steps, I don’t know the choreography….”

Delly rose to a sitting position, keeping one hand on the ice pack covering her knee, scowling at Katniss.

“That’s bullshit, Katniss, and you know it.”

“Delly…”

“Don’t Delly me, girly. You’re a dancer in the most difficult area of dancing, hell, you’re a ballet dancer! I can’t even begin to understand how you do it, okay? So many hours of work, so many steps, it’s so bloody difficult! And you say you can’t do a bit of Latine dancing?  I say it’s bullshit. You’ve spent enough mornings rehearsing here with our two best dancers, moving your little ass to our music to get it. You can dance anything, Katniss. Anything. And as for the choreography, do you really think Peeta would let you down? Really?”

Katniss knew he wouldn’t. Just like he had guided her in the salsa club, or in the jazz one, just like he had always been there to help her.

And the only time he asked for her help, she had said no. Out of fear, out of shyness, but she never actually considered helping him, hadn’t even given a thought to it.

“Having an epiphany, have we?” Katniss turned to Delly, who was now smirking. “Well, you know what to do, then.”

“But, how? I mean--”

“I’m planning a wedding. This is nothing compared to that. Let me make a few calls.” Winking, Delly took her phone from her purse, starting the first of a long list of calls.

--

Katniss’s heart was beating a little too fast, a little too hard, as she watched the number unfold from her position near the curtains, hidden in the dark of the backstage. In the background,  women were spinning and bending to the music, the tempo getting quicker with every pass or move, finishing in a flurry of red and black dresses and shirts. The music died, and the audience applauded. Katniss knew that was the point when Peeta would remain alone on the stage, dancing on his own until Delly joined him for a passionate tango.

Only tonight, it wouldn’t be Delly.

She smoothed the dress she had borrowed - a simple orange halter dress - flexed her ankles in the shoes Delly lent her (they wore the same size) and took a deep breath.

She looked at him, waiting for the music to begin, alone on the stage, the light on him making his curls shine. He started moving along to the music, with only a spot bathing him in white light as he danced alone, mimicking holding a woman that wasn’t there.

Rotations in the tiny spotlight, eyes closed and a look of sadness and longing on his face, he danced only in the little part of the stage lit by the white spot, never stepping a foot outside the circle, yet never lingering too long in one place.

Katniss had no clue when she was supposed to go onto the stage, just memories of the first show she had seen when Delly had stepped into the light like an apparition, finding her place in Peeta’s arms naturally. She was questioning her ability to do it when she heard a slight deceleration in the music, like it was slowing down on purpose. She took a deep breath, and walked onto the stage on shaky heels, expecting two strong arms to catch and lead her into a routine she had only seen once.

She saw Peeta’s astonishment as she walked in the spotlight, into the arms that had opened to welcome her, heard his voice whisper in her ear as he pulled her closer to him, so close she wasn’t sure a hair would fit between them.

“Thank you, thank you….”

Katniss pulled her head away and looked into his eyes, watching them smile and sparkle, as he lead her in the dance.

Sure, it was nothing compared to the one she had seen him perform with Delly some months ago.

Sure, it was nothing like it could have been, had he danced with another seasoned pro.

But it was their dance, and it was perfect.

They turned and swirled to the lament of the music, his careful guidance hinting at the steps she was supposed to take, her body adapting to his rhythm and requests, their eyes never leaving one another’s. She could feel his hands burning on her skin, his fingers drawing patterns of their own, a sensual painting as they lingered a little lower with each move they made. She could feel the caress of the fabric of his trousers, between her legs as he bent her backwards, her hair brushing the hardwood. But as she   straightened, Katniss felt his hand tracing a line under her chin, from her sternum to her navel, leaving goosebumps on her skin.

She was sure the heat in his eyes when she was finally upright in front of him again could have burned her alive.

She could still feel the place his hand had travelled, burned through the thin cotton of her dress, and she realized she wanted more, much more than just a touch. Peeta made her spin, catching her as she arrived back in his arms, and lifting her above his head, then letting her slide down his chest. She was sure he was able to feel how erect her nipples were when they rasped along his thin white undershirt, if the gasp that escaped his lips was any indication.

If the way his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips was any indication, eliciting the same reaction in her.

She almost forgot there was an audience behind them, almost forgot they weren’t alone on the stage.

Peeta’s hands drew her even closer to him, so close they shared the same breath.

She felt his pelvis brushing against hers, and had to use all her restraint not to moan when she felt him so close to where she wanted him.

Katniss let her hand leave the comfort of his shoulder, sliding down his chest, until it reached his ribcage, started her own fantasy drawing on his white undershirt, making him lose his breath. He had his sweet revenge too, as he nuzzled her neck with his mouth, hiding in her loose hair, before whispering, “In eight, you go backstage… but I’m not done with you. Keep the dress.”

And sure enough on the eighth beat he spun her out of the light, until she reached the backstage.

Breathless.

She had danced the most difficult ballets, been on stage for more hours than she could count, but today’s performance - doing something that she couldn’t even call difficult - had left her breathless.

And she knew it had nothing to do with the dance itself and everything with the man who had made her spin, who was now finishing his routine alone, the same way he had started, until he too vanished into the dark, letting the music die with the light. Until the stage was quiet and dark.

Applause exploded from the audience after a few seconds, breaking the silence. As if it had taken the people watching some time to recover from the power of the final scene. The house lights illuminated the crowd of people applauding as the dancers came out one after the other onto the stage - even Delly - to accept their accolades. The clamor only grew louder when Peeta appeared at the end of the row, close to the curtain, and Katniss added her applause from the other side of the stage.

As usual, Peeta took the mic he was handed, thanking the spectators for coming, introducing the band, the dancers one after the other, until he handed it to Delly who always was the one to introduce him. She took the microphone, clearing her throat before turning to the audience.

“And finally, the last dance introduced someone new to the company, someone who has never danced on our stage before. Please welcome our guest star, Miss Katniss Everdeen, Principal Dancer at the Panem National Ballet!”

Katniss’s jaw almost fell onto the hardwood of the stage as she heard Delly’s words. Was she dreaming or did Delly just asked her to come on stage? She looked around and saw an arm outstretched for her, Kevin’s or Dylan’s, she could never remember who was who, beaconing her to come and join them. But she wouldn’t move, not when she could stay in the comfort of the shadows.

“Oh, come on, Katniss, please! Peeta, you should go and get her!”

Katniss could see the surprise on Peeta’s face at his friend’s words, then he looked at her, as if he was waiting for her approval to come and get her, even if the crowd and his fellow dancers were all applauding. She nodded a single time, and he made his way across the stage.

“You don’t have to come out, if you don’t want to,” he whispered as soon as he was next to her.

“I know.” She took a deep breath and reached for his hand, to give herself some courage, before stepping onto the stage, to the rhythm of the applause.

[thegirlfromoverthepond]

The Firebird - Chapter 22

Step 22: THE FIREBIRD

My huge thanks to @titaniasfics and @xerxia31 (so much so much thanks) for betaing and proofreading this chapter :)

 @akai-echo, thank you for reading my mind and being the absolute awesome woman that you are

a shorter chapter but I think you'll like it :)

We're nearing the end - I'd love to hear your thoughts about the story :)

Here on AO3 // FFN

  There was always something in the air the day of a show. A quality, a density that wasn’t there at other times, a feeling of immediacy, of nervousness penetrating every single person, from the lead dancers to the technicians.

Some would call it stress.

Even though Katniss knew the whole company couldn’t possibly do more rehearsals, with or without costumes, with or without lights, there was still that bit of doubt, the little voice inside asking whether or not they could have done more. Better. Different.

She knew she had to push that voice away, to not let it interfere with her preparation for the show tonight.

It was always the same moves, really. A routine. Flex, stretch, bend. Be careful, check the ribbons on the pointes, don’t eat too much. There was comfort to be found in the repetition of moves made over and over, again.

Concentration was on everyone’s faces, focussing on what was to come.

The show was only three hours away.

Stress was threatening to overwhelm her.

Katniss reached for her bag, looking for her phone and headphones inside  to try to take her mind off of her performance and what was coming. The lead role. She couldn’t mess up, not after all the work she put into be there, all the rehearsals at the National, all the rehearsals with Peeta and Finnick.

Peeta. Thinking of him brought back memories of Monday night, when she had brought him to her bed (well, technically his) after he’d had a nightmare, after his whispered confessions. He had fallen asleep on his side of the bed, facing the open windows, snuggled under the blue sheets. Katniss had followed suit soon after, lulled by the sound of his breathing, or by his closeness, she couldn’t tell.

It also brought back memories of Tuesday morning, of waking up with her back pressed against a hard chest, cuddled by a heavy arm around her waist, a man’s hand on the skin of her belly.

She had been able to successfully slipt out of bed without him noticing, moving towards the couch to   fold the quilt he had started his night under, busying herself with mundane things like closing the windows, opening the curtains, until Peeta woke up.

She had pretended not to look at his rumpled hair (why was men’s bedhead so sexy?), the way his shirt was stretched across his muscles, or the tattoo on his wrist that added a bit of something to his all-American look.

She couldn’t prevent the smile that came to her lips when she saw him realize that she hadn’t left, or the even bigger one once he came closer and kissed her cheek, then her jaw, his lips dragging towards hers in a slow movement.

“You’re still here…” he had whispered in awe.

“You promised me breakfast….”

“I did. But you stayed in spite…” He’d shied away, his eyes dropping from her face to the floor.

“There’s no other place I’d rather be” she had whispered back, wondering where that confidence had come from, realizing at the same time how true her words were. She had felt at ease all evening with him, joking and sharing a tray of food. But more importantly, she had felt good about being there to help him with his nightmares, understanding maybe more than others how it felt to have them, to face the darkness inside the mind.

To fight the darkness that could lead you down a dangerous path. A path she didn’t want Peeta to ever travel  .

“Everdeen? You okay?” Haymitch’s voice brought Katniss out of her thoughts, her hands still in her bag, suspended in their forgotten search for her phone. “You seemed lost for a second, Sweetheart.”

“I was looking for my phone…”

“You didn’t move for a solid five minutes, Katniss.”

“I have a big bag.” She wasn’t ready to admit she had spent the time daydreaming about a man. Her boyfriend.

Boyfriend. It had been a few days now, but Katniss was still coming to terms with the fact that she indeed had a boyfriend. Someone to share her everyday life with, beyond Prim. Someone who was happy to call her, or receive one of her texts, someone who cared.

Someone she could rely on.

“That you do. Like all women. Anything interesting in there?” Haymitch asked, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Nope. Just my phone, see?” She finally took the phone out, shoving the screen in front of her mentor’s face.

Haymitch’s smile grew wider as he leaned forward.

“You’ve got a message, Sweetheart.”

She quickly turned the device around in her hand. On the screen, a name, and the beginning of a message.

Peeta: Thinking of you. You got this, Kat.

Of course he would text her. She glanced at the time, realizing he was about to start preparing for his own show. She stood up, grabbed her bag and headed further backstage, before turning back to Haymitch.

“Of course I have a message. My boyfriend’s sweet like that.”

She swore she could see Haymitch’s jaw almost bounce off the floor.

--

The National Ballet’s backstage area was a beehive in full working mode. Technicians hurried by,  carrying lengths of cables, kids from the corps de ballet ran around giggling and taking selfies, dancers went from hairdressers to costumers as the noise from the other side of the red, velvety curtains grew louder, stronger, scarier.

Katniss was sitting on the ground, in the shadows of the curtains. Her hair was done, her make-up on, earbuds plugged in her ears, trying to forget about the audience, about the ballet, the performance, trying to forget about the stress that had started to bubble up inside her stomach. Her costume was hanging on the door of her locker, in the dancers’ room, waiting for her. But for now she needed to tie her damned pointes, walk onto the stage and feel it under the soft material. She needed to finish stretching - if she could successfully tie these satin thingies.

She didn’t want to acknowledge that her hands were shaking.

The familiar sound of her phone ringing interrupted Sidney Bechet. Grabbing the devilish device, she saw Peeta’s name etched on the screen. She quickly picked up, knowing he was also on the verge of starting his own show.

“Hey...”

“Hey, Gorgeous. How are you?” He asked, and she wished, he was there to calm the anxiety she was trying so hard to ignore.

“I’m … I’m okay. Trying to tie my pointes. You?”

“Waiting for the show to begin. You know the drill… the worst is always the last few minutes before the curtains open.”

Oh she knew. “Yeah, I know what you mean…. but you’re used to it now, right?” she asked.

“A show’s a show. There’s always something to be worry about.”

“True.” She fidgeted with the ribbons of her pointes, too afraid to ask what she wanted. Taking a deep breath, she finally caved. “I’m kind of… frightened, you know? I know I shouldn’t be, I know I can dance it, but there’s this… fear…”

“Why wouldn’t you be? I’m always frightened just before a show. Just - let me get out of here, I have a secret to tell you-” There was a pause before Peeta carried on “Sorry ma’am..” The noise behind Peeta lessened - clearly  he was walking away from the people that surrounded him - until it was just a whisper in the background. “There. It’ll be more private now.”

“A secret? You wanted to tell me a secret?” she asked, wanting to know whether he had a magical formula to take the fear away.

“Ah yes. I might have something to tell you…” Peeta teased, and Katniss could hear his smile.

“Peetaaa…” she lasted longer than necessary on the last letter of his name, a thing she liked doing.

“Okay, Okay. I have this secret to tell you ….” She heard him take a breath. “I have a confession to make... I love seeing you dance. Even that first time when I saw you dance the Swan, you know? But mostly, I love seeing you dancing and losing yourself to the music. Like in the club. You were radiant, so alive under my hands, so … beautiful. You were made for dancing, Kat. You’re going to be awesome.”

“Peeta..” Her voice was just a whisper, overwhelmed by the emotions his words had awoken.

“Just promise me something...”

“What?”

“We’ll dance again, together. You, me, that damn red dress…”

She chuckled at the memory of the dress, now ruined by the blood that had stained it after she fell.

“I promise. You, me, another red dress…-”

“Katniss!” One of the costumers interrupted her. “Ten minutes till opening, you have to get dressed!”

“I’ll be right down!” she answered to the woman before returning her attention to her phone. “I have to go …..”

“That you do, Firegirl. Don’t forget. Chin up, smile on, and dance for me, Kat, like you danced in the club….”

“You’re not here to dance with me, though….”

“I’m closer than you imagine.”

“I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Definitely… Dance, Kat. Dance! I have to go, they’re calling us. Don’t forget though... Have fun!”

“You have fun too!”

She hung up, not wanting the goodbyes to last and last, like the teenagers in chick flicks, uttering their undying love to their boyfriend of the hour. She had a show in less than ten minutes, and a costume to put on, even if Peeta’s words lingered in her head.

How he liked to watch her dance - he had never told her that before. She had never admitted either that she liked dancing with him, how his body moved gracefully despite his stocky build, despite his injury. She remembered how strong his arms were around her waist or holding her hand while he dipped her backwards, realizing at the same time that she really wanted to dance with him again. Maybe he could be persuaded to go to that salsa club again, to dance with her soon?

She would have to ask.

--

Her pointes hurt her feet. The complexity of the steps was engraved in her brain, she didn’t need to think of the next one. She didn’t feel like she had to play the part - she felt like she was the Firebird, flying over the stage, flying over the trees in the forest. Her costume gave her the wings she needed, the freedom she wanted.

She danced.

She was radiant.

Time passed so quickly she didn’t even feel it.

She had spread her wings

The company got a standing ovation, but Katniss barely heard it. She was still flying high above the forest of Koschei the Immortal, still in her little bubble of dance, dance, dance, as she came down into the locker room, walking straight to her assigned place.

She only came down from her high when she saw the bouquet of wildflowers lying on the bench.

But not any wildflowers.

Katniss’s flowers.

There wasn’t a card or a note with the bouquet. Just the smell of the outdoors, a breath of fresh air pouring into the packed room, erasing the scent of sweat, and exhaustion she was feeling. A smell that brought back memories of her childhood, in the forest behind their home, a smell that reminded her of so much.  A bouquet so simple it was more beautiful to her than any elaborate florist composition. It went directly to her heart.

She carefully laid the flowers back on the bench and grabbed her vanity bag to take her shower, to get rid of the make up on her face and the sweat in her hair, the remnants of the ballet. To let go of the Firebird, to become Katniss again.

She was the last one to linger in the lockers room. Nobody had come for her, and she didn’t want to meet the crowd of people waiting, didn’t want pats on the back or hugs from people she didn’t know - she kind of envied the firebird his freedom.

But she knew also she had to leave, that she couldn’t hide in the privacy of the backstage forever or someone would come up to get her.

She sighed, finishing her braid before putting on her worn-out leather jacket, holding her flowers to her chest, and made her way up the stairs where she could hear the low buzz of the crowd.

She was met by a radiant pair of blue eyes, waiting for her at the top of the marble stairs, a huge smile on his face, and a simple katniss flower in his left hand, the right stretched out for her. She felt her bag fall from her shoulder as she took the last few steps, not caring where it had fallen, only reaching for the warmth of his arms, for his lips in her hair, and his laugh in her ears as she held onto him, caught in the embrace of his strong arms.

“You came, silly man, you came!”

“Of course I did, you didn’t expect me to miss this after all the work you did!”

“You came!” She was utterly surprised, repeating the two same words again and again in his ear, so happy she couldn’t help the large smile that came to her face, still amazed he was here. “But you had a show… How?”

“Gabe’s covering for me, don’t you worry. You were great, you were flying, Kat! I’m so proud of you!” Peeta whispered in her ear, holding her closer to his chest.

“Well, well, well. That’s a first, Sweetheart!” Haymitch’s rough voice came from behind her. She turned, still wrapped in Peeta’s embrace, to face her mentor with a scowl, bracing herself for whatever teasing he had in stock for her.

“You did great, Everdeen. I’m proud of you.” With a wink, Haymitch was gone, leaving Katniss almost speechless.

“Wow…” She was finally able to mutter, when her shock had finally faded. Haymitch had always been stingy with compliments, preferring to shout and point out the mistakes. It was one of the first times in forever that something good had come out of his mouth, and it was directed at her.

At her.

She felt a pang of pride in her chest, a sense of accomplishment too. Hours of hard work, dozens of pairs of pointes, bleeding feet, tears, all that built up to here and now. To the point where she could feel proud of herself, where she could finally be happy with the work she had done.

Finally. She had been free on that stage. She had been herself.

She had simply danced.

She had felt.

“You okay?” a deep voice came from behind her and Katniss realized two strong hands were gently caressing her arms, up and down, not in a sexual way, rather to bring comfort and peace.

She turned back into Peeta’s embrace and smiled. Never had an answer been so easy to form.

“Yeah. I am.”

[thegirlfromoverthepond]

The Firebird - Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Words

My deepest thanks to the Fantastic Four - @xerxia31, @dandelion-sunset and @titaniasfics for their beta skills - you should see the chapter before they do their magic, really.

And  @akai-echo's talents bring images to this story - thank you, my dear from the bottom of my heart :)

TW: Canon-typical abuse - We all know what it means, right ?

Comments, message make my days :)

Here on AO3 // FFN

Seven days.

That’s all that remained before the first performance of The Firebird. Seven days during which Katniss would have to focus on her steps, position, feet and hands, rehearse the same parts again and again, in sweatpants or in the gorgeous costumes Cinna made. She would have to concentrate on dancing, and nothing else.

Which, after last night’s date, could prove to be a challenge. She had lost count of the number of times Peeta had kissed her in the park  as they walked hand in hand around the Japanese Garden, whether it was a peck on the lips, or a deeper exploration of her mouth.

And she had liked it. A lot.

She had liked the way his hands climbed up and down her back, how carefully he had threaded them into her hair, taking her braid out completely until her dark locks fell down her back. She’d had her revenge, though, when she let her own hands wander through his golden hair, following the curls on the nape of his neck, enjoying their softness and their roughness, what made them so authentically male.

“Everdeen, you here with us?”

Haymitch’s voice took Katniss from her reverie, bringing her down to the stage she was on, taking her away from her time with Peeta the night before and what a perfect gentleman he had been, taking her home, leaving her with a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Right now though, she needed to focus, meaning she had to forget about Peeta for a few hours. Or minutes if that proved to be too difficult.

She looked at the man who had taken the place of the former director, collected herself and nodded slightly. Time to work.

Katniss took her place backstage, flexing her ankles again and again until it was her time to come on stage. A simple sequence, maybe, but one that required jumping and turning over and over again.

She took a deep breath before plunging onto the stage, being cautious to avoid Prince Ivan and the scenery, careful of her steps, listening to the music. This afternoon, they would try the costumes on, the real ones, before rehearsing in them for the rest of the week.

But for now what mattered to her was to dance. Dance, be the bird on fire, be this uncatchable animal, flying free in the forest, flying away, spreading its wings over the ground, over the forest, aiming for the sky, the sun, the stars.

So she flew.

Around the largecentral tree, around Prince Ivan and over the bushes, trying to reach for the lights high above, letting herself be the bird that was fire.

Clapping started as soon as she reached the other side of the stage. Katniss turned, wondering what had happened, who had come into the theater, until she saw all the looks were directed towards her, that applause was for her.

“Congratulations, Sweetheart. That’s what I call dancing,” Haymitch said, a small smile on his lips, before he turned, yelling for the Princesses to come and do their bloody jobs.

Katniss felt the rush of adrenaline starting to leave her limbs, bringing her down to the place she really was - the stage of the National Ballet, rehearsing for a performance. Not in the sky, trying to catch the sun.

But she had touched it, almost, with the tips of her wings.

And it had felt damn good.

With a smile on her face, she prepared to start another sequence across the stage.

She was the Firebird, the uncatchable animal.

She was the Firegirl, the Girl on Fire, who could only be tamed by the hands of a kind man.

She was as radiant as the sun.

She was a dancer.

 The rest of the rehearsal passed with as much ease as possible, each step evident, each move of the hand a natural extension of her arm, her feet dancing to the music.

She was about to leave the stage, her muscles sore, sweat dripping down her whole body, when she heard Haymitch’s voice again.

“Everdeen, a word?”

Katniss froze. In her world, that meant she hadn’t performed as well as she should have, as she thought she had. She felt her shoulders slump at the thought of not being enough, once more, of having failed everybody again.

She made her way back to Haymitch, wiping her face off with her towel, readying herself for what was to come.

“What was that, on stage?”

There it was. She had failed, again. Despite herself, she felt the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. But she wouldn’t cry in front of Haymitch. No, she would keep that to herself, for later that day.

“I don’t know what happened to you, Sweetheart, or what you ate this morning, but don’t change the brand. You were glowing.”

Wait... what? Haymitch was praising her? What was wrong with the universe? She opened her mouth to answer, wondering what to say - nothing had changed since the last rehearsal.

Nothing but Peeta.

She felt a small smile come to her lips just at the thought of him, of their dance near the pond, of the fireflies dancing with them to the music of their hearts.

Suddenly, the words were easy to find.

“I danced with the fairies.”

“Then keep them around.” With a smile, and a sarcastic salute, he turned on his heels and headed to the other side of the stage, leaving Katniss alone.

She was the last one on the stage, the other dancers and technicians having left to grab lunch. A single spot remained alight, bathing Katniss in its white beam. Smiling, she let her head fall back, taking in the light falling down on her, warming her. Slowly, she extended her arms and started spinning, like the little girl she used to be, like the little girl she still was.

 --

Days passed, filled with rehearsals, breaking in new pointes, costume fittings and sewing, more pins in her hair than she could count, and the stress finally adding up.

Monday evening arrived, Katniss found herself packing a bag for an evening at Peeta’s to watch the next episode of Dancing With The Stars. This time, there would only be the two of them. No Delly or Johanna, nobody but her boyfriend and her.

 Boyfriend. They hadn’t discussed what they were yet, maybe too afraid to reach that step and break the bubble in which they were living at the moment. She knew though, that she wouldn’t date anyone else while being with him, but would he agree? Should they put a label on what they were so soon? She had no clue. They were together and that would have to be enough for now.

 The metro ride took forever to reach his building, stations passing by slower with each one fading into the darkness, time stretching to its maximum, surely to test her patience. She wanted to forget about her day in Peeta’s arms, be able to rant at him about how difficult it was to get ready for a show, or to listen to him describing the next number they would try. Just to talk to him.

And maybe kiss for a while.

Okay. More than a while.

 They had seen each other a few times since their date, between the end of Katniss’s rehearsals and the start of Peeta’s show, but with lives so full of dancing, they barely had time to do anything. Talk about their days, eat a little, kiss more.

Throughout her life, Katniss had only had one serious boyfriend, a few years earlier. Had only experienced one real relationship out of lack of time and too much commitment to her art. He hadn’t been a dancer, had never understood why she needed to practice on her days off. She thought he would have brought some calm and quiet into her life, but he only wanted to go out and party - adding exhaustion to her stress.

They had lasted a few months before parting ways, Katniss feeling more relief than sadness. She chose then to leave romance out of her life, to focus on her career, fulfilling her physical needs with one-night stands, anonymous men soon lost in the past.

 But everything felt different with Peeta. This time, kisses were far from being enough. She could feel it in her belly, the moment his lips would leave hers, an ache, a desire, a want that climbed up her spine, begging for more. It was like a hunger she wasn’t sure she could sate in one day.

It both frightened and calmed her, desiring someone that strongly all the time. She was becoming a lovesick puppy, looking for blond hair all around, for blue eyes smiling at her, or for his hand to guide her in a sensual dance.

“Capitol Square. Mind the gap.” The monotonous voice coming out of the speaker startled Katniss. It was her stop. She hurried out of the car, out of the tunnel, out of the station, to walk the few blocks to his building.

A call to his apartment and an elevator ride later she found herself knocking on his door, shifting from one foot to the other, both impatient and shy. She knew they would be alone tonight, she knew she would sleep there - but would he ask her to join him in bed? Was she ready to go to that level in their relationship?

She hadn’t had time to think of an answer to her inner questions when Peeta opened the door, a large smile on his face. One of his hands went straight to her duffel bag, taking it from her, while he leaned in, tenderly placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“You’re here,” he whispered as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Didn’t you invite me?”

“I did. I still can’t believe it.” He left another kiss before motioning for her to come inside, opening the door wider before closing it behind her.

Katniss felt the tension building  inside her. Would he expect them to spend the night in the same bed, together? The question that had been on her mind for the last few minutes was all she could think of.

“I don’t want to sleep with you,” she blurted out, her hands going to her mouth as she felt her cheeks blush.

“Wow… that’s… so not I was….” Peeta answered, a small smile on the corner of his lips.

“No, I mean, crap… it’s not….” She covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the flush she felt rising.

She took a deep breath before slowly dropping her hands.

“It’s just, I’m not ready for that, yet. I mean you’re awesome and great and all, but I’m just not ready. I need a bit of time.” She had avoided his eyes for her whole speech, not daring to see the look of disappointment.

“Katniss,” Peeta said slowly, his hand lifting her chin so her eyes were level with his. “I do not expect you to sleep with me tonight. I didn’t expect it. I have every intention of sleeping on the couch tonight. Look, I took a pillow and quilt. You will take my bed. I’m not ready for that either. We’ll only do that when we’re both ready. Okay?”

Katniss turned her head, looking over her shoulder towards the couch behind her. She could see the edges of a pillow over a carefully folded quilt.

“I’m sorry - I…  I thought…”

“Shh… don’t be sorry. It’s okay. We’ll cross that bridge when we reach it.”

Peeta’s hand left her chin and slowly slid down her arm in a light caress.

“When? Not if?”

“I’m not leaving, Katniss. I’m in this for the long term, if you allow it.”

Would she? The long term could be frightening. She heard Peeta sigh, felt the warmth leaving her arm at the same time.

“I didn’t want to bring this up so soon, I mean, we’ve only been on one date, two if tonight counts as a date…” He raked his hand through his curls, nervousness clearly displayed on his face, as well as something else Katniss couldn’t name. Was it fear? “But if you don’t want this to be a date, that’s okay too…”

“I’ll allow it,” she heard herself whisper in a tiny voice, barely a breath that stopped him immediately.

“What?” Peeta asked, as if he was unsure he had heard her.

“I’ll allow it.” Her voice was stronger now, more firm, as she repeated the words, letting them settle on her tongue, in her head, in her heart. Peeta moved forward, leaning in until her mouth became his. She craved the softness of his lips, the warmth of him.

He kept the kiss gentle, a caress of lips brushing against each other, nothing demanding, nothing expected. He pulled back, his hands having resumed their travels up and down her arms, his smile back.

Unable to resist, Katniss chased his lips again, leaning onto his chest for support, feeling the muscles move beneath his tee shirt, letting the kiss linger a little longer than the previous ones.

They pulled apart again soon after, before the kisses could escalate to more, to a level they weren’t ready to face yet.

--

They settled in front of the TV, side-by-side on the couch, nibbling at the food in front of them while waiting for Finnick to show up on the screen.

“Do you know what they’re dancing this week?” Katniss asked, before blowing on the hot cheese bun she was holding in her hand.

“No idea. I just hope it’s something he likes you know?”

“Oh, there he is!” She pointed to Finnick, smiling on the stage, with his young partner in a long red skirt.

“Looks like they will paso or tango! Yay!” Peeta said, leaning forward a bit towards the screen, his professional face on.

“You can tell which dance they’re going to do by the costume?” Katniss asked in disbelief.

He turned to wink at her. “You can tell which ballet it is from the tutus, right? Same for me.”

Peeta turned to look at the screen again, and his right hand came to rest atop her left, tentatively brushing his palm across her knuckles, slowly becoming more confident before Katniss turned her hand, lacing their fingers together.

They watched as the show unfolded before their eyes, Peeta only muttering a “paso,” and groaning at the sight of his friend, removing his shirt, displaying his abs and tattoo for everybody to see.

“He’s such a git, he can’t help himself….” he whispered, his thumb grazing Katniss’s hand.

“Well, obviously he likes to show off…”

Peeta chuckled. “You noticed? Yeah, he does…. So it’s going to be a paso...”

“But the music? It’s Thriller…”

“Perfect for a paso, you’ll see.” Peeta leaned back on the couch, watching the couple take their place on the dance floor while the voiceover announced their names.

And indeed, the Michael Jackson song was perfect for a paso. Finnick and his partner alternated the moves, quickly and steadily, offering an incredible show as the crowd cheered at the end of their performance.

“That was good, wasn’t it?” Katniss asked as Finnick and his partner waited for the judge’s notes in the Red Room.

“Yeah, it was…”

“You’re very close to Finn and Annie it seems?” she asked.

Peeta nodded before leaning back on the couch completely, turning his head toward her.

“Finn offered me a job when everybody in the dance industry turned their backs on me. He came after me, asked me every day, came to my dad’s bakery, hung around the counter..Every day he was there, asking me to join the company.. Annie’s part of the deal, they are so cute together. She calms him, he brightens her.”

“How long did it take until you said yes?” Katniss asked, leaning on the back of the couch too, her head turned towards him.

“Three months, maybe? I wasn’t sure I could dance those things… After almost twenty years in ballet, you know...”

“You could dance anything,.” she said, letting her eyes rove over his body. Fit, muscular, flexible. “Thresh, the guy I danced the Bolero with," she saw Peeta flinch at the name. "He asked to come to see your show again.”

Peeta straightened up on the couch, his hand leaving hers. “What? What did you say?” His hand twisted in his hair, again, a sign Katniss had come to associate with him being stressed.

“He asked me if I wanted to come with his girlfriend and him, so they could book seats in advance. You guys are practically sold out.”

“Oh!” She had seen his face change at the mention of Thresh’s girlfriend, like relief was taking over.

“Peeta, you didn't seriously think I was seeing someone else, right?” She didn’t know what to expect for an answer.

“No. It’s just… We don’t have to discuss it right now or decide anything, but….” He took a deep breath. “Would you consider one day being my girlfriend?”

She felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips before she could answer him.

“I already consider myself as your girlfriend, Peeta.”

The kiss he gave her was nothing like the previous ones. It was full of smiles and warm lips, trailing all over her face, his hands on her back, hers in his hair, kissing each other to try to soothe their hunger.

It never occurred to them to check what Finnick’s scores were on the show.

--

Katniss opened her eyes. She was surrounded by an unfamiliar scent, in an unfamiliar bed and it was the dead of night. Everything around was shrouded in dark, but for the alarm clock that shone proudly the numbers on display. 3:04 AM.

She was wondering what had woken her when she heard the sounds, muffled yet so sad, coming from the other side of the bedroom door.

Just like the last time she had slept at Peeta’s place, Katniss did not hesitate. She climbed out of bed, rushed out of the room without thinking, his voice guiding her through the night.

Peeta was on the couch, trying to escape the quilt that covered him.

Crying in his sleep.

Muttering.

Thrashing around.

Even though she knew it would be useless, she tried waking him up by shaking him. But Peeta on a good day was a solid fifty pounds heavier than she was, and even though years of training had given her muscles, they weren’t enough to move him. So she did what she knew had worked before, singing under her breath, stroking his hair like she used to do when Prim was younger, so long ago.

She had no clue which song was passing her lips, or for how long she sang, and it didn’t matter. She could feel Peeta relax under her fingers, his breathing easing as his muscles unwound more with each measure, each breath of music. Until finally his eyes popped open and l she could see the blue she liked so much chasing away the dark clouds.

“Katniss? What?” He sat up on the couch, looking around, rubbing a hand across his face, trying to erase the remnants of his nightmare. “I woke you up? I’m so sorry, go back to sleep, you have to wake up early--”

“Shhh, it’s okay. Remember? I have them too. Wanna talk about it?”

Peeta eased off the blanket, sitting up fully on the couch, letting his arms fall onto his knees, head down. Katniss swiftly took one of his hands in her own.

“I don’t want to bother you.”

“I know. But it could help you. If you’re not ready now, it’s okay, but know that if you want to, I’m here to listen.”

Peeta grabbed her other hand, finally lifting his eyes to hers. “Thank you…. One day?”

“One day.” She nodded, a tiny smile on her lips.

Katniss leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“When you’re ready, I’ll be here.” She rose from her position on the floor, her hand still linked with his. “Go to sleep now.” With a last kiss on his forehead, she walked away from the couch to the bedroom whose door she left open - just in case.

She was about to climb into the large bed when she heard Peeta’s voice whispering from the couch.

“I see her, with the rolling pin. My mom. She comes after me and hurts me because I gave bread to a starving kid. Or because I let the bread burn in the oven. I was seven the first time she hit me. Seven. And she was always cautious not to leave marks where other people would see them. The unbearable ones were on my soul. I did everything I could to get her to love me, but she never did.”

Katniss could feel her heart breaking with each of his words. How could someone hit a child willingly? She peeked out of the bedroom, Peeta had resumed his former position, this time with his head bent on his arms. She wondered if his words were meant for her to hear. She walked out of the bedroom, edging closer to the couch again as Peeta started to talk again.

“My dad never knew. My brothers didn’t know either. Why me? What did I ever do to piss her off? For her to hate me? So my nightmares are about her. There, I said it. My mother was a monster. She made me one…”

Katniss was now beside Peeta. She touched his shoulder, sliding her fingers down his arm until she reached his hand, which she took in hers. She gave a small tug, a hint for him to rise from the couch, but he didn’t move, only lifting his eyes to hers, a clear question in them.

She didn’t answer, words weren’t enough to express what she was thinking.

She tugged again, asking him to stand up. When he complied, she started walking towards the bedroom, with Peeta in tow. She felt him stop at the entry, whispering, “No, Katniss--”

She turned on her heels swiftly, pressing her fingers to his lips.

“Shh. We’ll just sleep.”

He nodded, following her again until they reached the side of the bed nearest the windows. Katniss pulled the covers down for him to slide between the sheets, in the bed that still held her warmth. He caved, slipping under the familiar blankets.

Smiling, Katniss went to the window, opening it slightly before heading back to join him in the bed, sliding under his blue sheets.

[thegirlfromoverthepond]

The Firebird - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Pretty Woman

Kudos to the Fantastic Four … the team of betas @xerxia31, @dandelion-sunset, @titaniasfics for doing their magic

And to @akai-echo who creates magic beyond words with her aesthetics :)

I can’t believe there’s only 5 chapters left of this story…. And here is the part you’ve all waited for - Everlark’s first date :)

(Here on AO3 // FFN)

She knew she should have followed her instincts, leaving the National via the back exit, instead of the front one. Then she wouldn’t have run into Madge on the stairs. Madge, who did not grill her about her session in the morning, but rather about why she was heading out on a Thursday before noon had even rung.

The biggest mistake Katniss made was admitting she needed to go shopping. It took Madge less than two minutes to coerce the story out of her friend, and volunteer as   personal shopper for the afternoon.

The next minute was dedicated to calling Delly, arranging to meet her at the shopping mall because Madge thought reinforcements were more than necessary in this dire situation.

Of course, Katniss didn’t have a say in the matter when General Undersee was in conquest mode.

She found herself in Madge’s car, with her purse and coat, in less than five minutes.

“So, tell me, who did you meet? Is he hot? Do I know him? Does he come from a good family? And what’s that crap with Caesar?” Sometimes, Katniss wondered - really wondered - how her friend could make such long sentences without breathing. She must have some kind of superpower.

“Caesar’s not directing anymore, he was fired.”

“Fired? They’ve never fired anyone before!”

“Well apparently they never fired anyone under Crane, but Plutarch’s different. He wouldn’t stand for Caesar’s behavior, talking to us like we we’re cattle, saying Cinna’s costumes were awful, and hitting on Thresh.”

Madge nodded. “I hope for Flickerman’s sake that Rue never finds out he made a move on her man. She’s kind of intimidating when it comes to Thresh.”

“She is, right? I’m glad she likes me.”

“Rue likes everybody.”

“Thanks, Madge… very helpful.”

“Hey, I’m here, and my cousin will help you, so you’ve got like your own fanclub!”

“Number of members: 2. ‘Cause I’m not including myself.”

“Blah, blah. So, who’s the guy?”

“Did I tell you Plutarch and Haymitch are taking over directing?”

“No. Don’t care. Who are you seeing tonight?”

Katniss sighed.

“A man.”

“Ohh… and HE has a name?”

“He actually has.”

“Annnd??? God, Katniss, you’re the worst! Jesus Chalupa!”

“Peeta.”

“Holy cow, Batman! You’re going out with your tango dancer? Wow, lucky you, he’s hot and handsome! How did that happen? How did he ask you out? Do you know what he has planned for tonight?”

“Wow, calm down, Madge, too many questions….”

“Tell me! No, wait until we’re with Dels, I have to text her!”

“You’re driving, so no texting.”

“Killjoy. So how long do we have to dress you up?”

“I don’t know, an hour?”

Madge nearly killed them both by braking so suddenly, the car behind them hammered on their horn a good ten seconds.

“An hour? For shopping? Katniss, darling, we won’t be done with lingerie in an hour!”

“I already have bras, I don’t need froufrous.”

“You have everyday bras, you need date-worthy underthings.”

“I don’t intend on him seeing them, you know?”

“It’s not about him seeing them. It’s about you wearing them. Feeling sexy and beautiful. You’ll get lingerie, even if that’s all you get today.”

“Madge...”

“Oh, you’re going to turn all scowl-Katniss on me? Well I’m calling Dels, since we don’t have much time.”

“Oh god.” Katniss could feel the blush in her cheeks, didn’t want to think about the high squeal that would surely escape Delly, wasn’t sure whether she could handle so many girly things in so little time.

The Bluetooth did its magic, soon an overexcited Madge was talking to an equally overexcited Delly.

“I KNOW? Right! They are perfect for each other!”

“Dels, we only have one hour. We’re on a mission here.”

“You girls realize I’m sitting in the car, right?” Katniss asked.

“So we divide and conquer. Dels, you take care of the clothes, we’ll be out of Vicky’s Secret in twenty minutes.”

“Wow, Madge, you like a challenge.” Delly said.

“You girls realize I’m sitting in the car, right?” Katniss repeated.

“Yeah, we know, Katniss, but we’re in an emergency situation. Where is Peet taking you?”

“Nowhere, I asked him out.”

“You did! So proud of you, Kat! Look at you, all grown up!” Madge added, winking. “So where are you taking him?”

“Uh, for a drink?”

“She’s hopeless, Maggie.” Delly chimed in.

“Nothing’s hopeless.” Madge turned to her friend, before looking for a spot in the large parking lot. “Katniss. Do you know where you’re taking Peeta?”

“I was thinking Sae’s maybe?”

“Sae’s?”

“Yes? Is there a problem with that? It’s not classy enough for Peeta?” The whole situation was starting to get on Katniss’s nerves, really.

“Dels, I’m hanging up, we’re heading straight to Vicky’s , right?”

“See ya!”

Madge ended the call, putting her hand on Katniss’s arm before she could get out of the car.

“Katniss. We’re here to help you. We’ll tone it down, okay? But we are so excited about this!”

“I can tell…. “

“Well, aren’t you?”

Was she?

The tingling in her belly when she thought about Peeta was all the answer she needed.

--

Katniss’s eyes grew bigger, her steps slower, as Madge and Delly dragged her towards what she guessed was the VS shop.

Victoria’s Secret.

Aka - the place she’d never been to. Nor had ever wanted to go to.

If she thought clothes shopping with both ladies was a difficult task, going inside VS with them would be something else, something she dreaded a lot.

“Madge…”

“I know. We won’t go over the top, okay? But please, please Kat. Trust me...”

“I don’t know, Madge, I’m not one of those girls, you know that?”

Madge spun so quickly in front of her that Katniss thought she would collide with her friend in the middle of the mall.

“Katniss, I really, really wish that one day you would see yourself the way we see you. You are a dancer, you have an amazing body, you have grace, elegance, and you are so beautiful.  Anything in this shop would suit you. Trust me, it’s not vulgar or slutty. You’ll be radiant. Even if Peeta doesn’t see it, what you wear under your clothes will make you feel elegant, confident, and womanly.”

“She’s right, Kat,” Delly chimed in. “The clothes you picked are beautiful, really, but you need to have something other than cotton underwear. Even if it’s not for Peeta.”

“Yeah, yeah, if you say so…. ”

“We do, Honey.” Honey? Katniss didn’t think she’d been called Honey once in her life - but it was Delly so she shouldn’t really be surprised. “It’s all for you. YOU. Put yourself first, for once. Shine. Be confident and beautiful. Be you. You don’t have to pick anything glittery or feathery, just something you would like to wear. Indulge yourself, Katniss. Let the woman inside you live and breathe.”

The woman inside? Who was Delly talking about?

Astonishment must have shown on her face, as Madge patted her arm gently.

“Isn’t there a part of you, somewhere, that wants to go into this shop?”

“I…”

Was there? she asked herself, trying to listen to her inner self. Behind the walls she had erected , was a young woman who had always wanted to go inside a lingerie shop, wondering what she could find for herself, if she had the money to spend there.

“Then come with us, we will be quick, okay? And if you find nothing you like, that’s okay.”

With the promise of not having to buy anything she didn’t like, she caved, surrendering to her inner young woman, following her friends inside.

--

She never imagined there could be so many different shapes and colors of bras and panties, enough to fill up an entire store. She honestly didn’t know where to look to find something that she might like.

They took the bags containing Katniss’s clothes for the evening - they had a change of plan deciding it would be better to buy the lingerie after the main outfit was purchased - peeking inside greedily.

“The blouse is really gorgeous, gives that vintage touch that’s so in fashion these days. But Ivory. So, nothing black.”

“Why not?” Katniss asked, surprised. Everything could go with black?

Madge and Delly looked at each other, disappointment evident on their faces.

“No black under white, ivory, cream, not on the first date anyway. Black and red mean ‘Let’s go home and have fun’.”

“It does?” Was that a universally shared fact she wasn’t aware of? Were men aware of that?

“Well, the men have no clue, of course if you’re wondering. It’s the way you wear the lingerie, you know?”

She didn’t.

“Katniss, have you ever worn anything other than plain cotton panties?”

“No, they’re practical?”

“It’s the way you wear it. Black and red used to be the colors of courtesans, and you’re not going that way today. So we’ll stick to ivory or white. Are you okay with that, Katniss?”

“I guess so?”

Did she really have a choice. She realized something hadn’t been mentioned yet, something she would stay firm on.

“No push-ups, though. I don’t have much, I don’t want to give any other impression.”

“Kat, we would never. You’re beautiful the way you are, and you have enough, okay?” Madge said.

“Peeta doesn’t want to date you because of your boobs, but because of who you are,” Delly added. “You don’t know the effect you have on him. Six months ago, he was ready to leave the company to go back working with his family. Then you arrive, Finnick goes away, and here he is, full of ideas for women’s dances, with twice as much enthusiasm as before.”

Could that be because of her? Katniss had trouble believing it.

“There are dozens of reasons why he’s changed, Delly. None of them involve me.”

Delly just shrugged, a small smile on her face, then walked towards the row of bras in front of them.

“Come, they might have something you like here!”

Madge and Delly spent the next fifteen minutes showing Katniss with everything from snow-white to pearl-white, sandy-white, even creamy-white, but nothing found favor in Katniss’s eyes. Nothing. The two girls were bordering on despair, when something caught her attention.

Something on the back wall, a glimpse of color on an otherwise ivory confection. Ignoring her two friends, she walked straight to what she saw, her fingers aching to touch the soft silk, the lace on top of it giving it an elegant touch.

The small orange ribbon woven through the lace, finishing in a cute little bow on the front was the final touch that drew Katniss in.

“This one.” Her tone was decisive. She had found what she wasn’t looking for, what she wasn’t aware she needed, but what belonged on her skin.

She quickly checked the sizes, finding hers, then looked for the matching panties, never looking at her friends who were staring at her with proud smiles on both of their faces.

They couldn’t stop whispering things like “Look, our baby is growing up,” all the way to Katniss’s place.

Madge tried to insist on coming up to help her dress, but  Katniss wasn’t going to change her mind on being alone. And there were things she needed to take care of before. Like feeding Buttercup. Or running away to another state. Important things.

First things first. Feeding the Beast. She wouldn’t admit it to anybody and certainly not to her sister, but the mangy cat had grown on her. She had spent so many nights with only him as her only company, the only remaining proof that she wasn’t alone, that she had a little family too.

She wanted a bit of time for herself too. She wasn’t a shopping addict. Far from it. she never ventured into malls more than was necessary, the crowds and incessant noise giving her headaches. She heard enough music every day at work, she needed to indulge in her quiet from time to time.

Time flew as she laid on her couch, peeking through her shopping bags, glad she didn’t succumb to her friend’s pressure of buying heels, instead choosing to wear her almost new pair of boots.

Black jeans, a vintage ivory blouse, and a light green cardigan, along with the underthings. That’s all she took from the bags, all she had purchased.

She made her way to the bathroom, checking the clock above the door. She would have to hurry a bit if she wanted to be on time, since she had to rely on public transportation to get to the Arena. She wanted to take a long, relaxing shower to try to wash away the stress of the date coming. Because there was no denying it this time. It was a date. One she’d asked for.

One she wanted.

One she was pretty sure Peeta wanted too.

Showtime.

--

Somehow, she made it on time to the Arena, the God of Public Transportation being with her, making the metro connect each time she arrived onto a platform  like magic.

Peeta was waiting near the main doors of the theater, the smile on his face growing wide as he saw her approaching, making his eyes sparkle, as if he was lit from inside.

“Katniss...” His voice was soft as he took her in his arms.

They had been close to one another while dancing, he had hugged her several times too, but nothing before had been like this embrace. Closer, warmer, stronger, more familiar. His hands were higher on her back, almost between her shoulders, making small circles there, as if he was clinging to her, for fear of letting her go.

“Hey, Peeta.” Her voice was lost in the space between his neck and his leather jacket, his familiar smell surrounded her, grounding her to the reality of here and now.

She couldn’t identify the feeling coming over her as she pulled away - regret, maybe? She took him in. His hair were still damp from the shower, his blue eyes sparkling, really shining under an unruly lock of hair out of place, his white shirt under his blue sweater, his jeans, and a goddamn leather jacket. She never thought he would own one. It wasn’t a shiny, black one with zippers everywhere, rather than thewell-worn brown one, one that had seen many seasons.

A lot like her own, she realized.

“So, where are we going?” Peeta asked, clumsily shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans as if he didn’t dare do anything with them. Like holding her hand, she thought.

Wait, what did he just ask?

“What?”

“Where are we going?”

She had thought about the clothes, about the way she would look, took time to apply light makeup - so different from the evenings at the National when she had to cover her whole face with it - thought about leaving a bit earlier to be on time, but never thought to tell him where they would go. Never thought whether going to Sae’s was a good idea.

“Oh…. Well… I thought we could go to Sae's but I hadn't really thought beyond that."

Peeta chuckled, running his right hand through his curls. “Well,” he started, “I have an idea, if you’re not done with art for the day.”

“More dancing?”

“No, not music, or dance. Just art.”

“I guess that’s better than hanging out around Starbucks?”

“Oh! You said their name!”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’ll tell Dad, and he’ll force you to eat at least ten donuts as a punishment.”

“That’s harsh.”

“Dad’s mean.” He extended his hand to her. “Shall we?”

She didn’t hesitate, taking his hand in hers.

“Where are you taking me?”

“To Wonderland.”

--

“The Botanical Gardens? But it’s closed at night.”

“The main section, yes, but they have an exhibition of sculptures in the Japanese gardens and I’ve wanted to see it, so I thought why not?”

“At night? We won’t see a thing, Peeta!”

“Ah, but ma chère, that’s the main goal. It’s called ‘A Game of Light and Shadows’, you can see it by night or during the day.”

“Very Game of Thrones.”

“Maybe the curator is a fan.  Go figure.”

They had chatted during the short drive from Arena to the Gardens, grabbing a sandwich from Sae’s  and eating it in Peeta’s car before getting out.

Katniss had expected he would want to hold her hand again, but he settled on instead putting his hand on the small of her back, where she was pretty sure the warmth coming from it would leave a permanent mark.

She wanted to beat him to pay for the entrance (after all, she asked for the date), only to realize to her surprise that it was free of charge, being sponsored by patrons all over town.

She grabbed the two leaflets the hostess handed her, giving one to Peeta, before trying to understand hers.

“This way,” he said, taking her elbow, leading her towards the large sliding glass doors to the Japanese Gardens.

“How do you know?”

“I came during the day.”

“But, it’s going to be the same, are you sure you want to go again?”

“It won’t be the same. This time, I’m with you.”

Peeta led her through the doors, guiding her towards a tall Japanese lantern made of stone.  Placed in the middle of a sand garden was the ancient granite construction, unaware of the change of times, of seasons, of men, just waiting night after night to be lit, to fulfill its sole purpose, unmoving. Through the different holes in the stone, Katniss glimpsed, lit by the moon or the stars above. As they progressed nearer to the lantern, the electrical lights faded away until their path was lit only by the small fires inside the sculpture that bathed the grey stone in waves of orange shades.

“Look,” Peeta whispered in Katniss’s ear, as if he didn’t want to disturb the silence around them. Katniss lifted her eyes to the top of the lantern that was painted in red, to see it shining with the sparks of the fire, radiating warmth and light all around. The trees, peaceful spectators of the beauty of the fire, remained safely away, their branches swinging to feed the lights, whispering their music.

She didn’t know how long she stood, bathing in the light, bathing in the fire, watching the flames dance their unscripted routine with the wood, swaying to their own music.

Peeta was at her side, not saying a word, lingering with her as he watched the same spectacle, the same amazement in his eyes.

“Peeta, that’s beautiful…”

“It is… Look at all the shades of colors, I could never make as many hues, it’s incredible.”

“Make? Like colors?”

“Yeah.” He looked like a little boy who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I kind of like art.”

Katniss went back to watching the lantern, the fire flickering loosely in the breeze, strong despite the wind.

“I figured. You have a thing for art. Are there other things to see here?”

“Plenty. Come with me.”

Again, his hand was extended for her to take - or not. She didn’t want to miss her chance. She grabbed his hand, the warm feeling of it echoing the fire in the old lantern. Unmovable. Strong. Steady.

He showed her a small river, lit by underwater spotlights, making the water lilies glow as they danced in the current. They discovered statues, the white moonlight only highlighting details that wouldn’t be so apparent under the yellow sun, followed a little path leading to a buddhist temple where people were praying.

They followed the seam of the river, looking at the banks where expertly trimmed bushes were placed here and there, highlighting the beauty of the place, until Katniss’s eyes caught a glimpse of a light.

“Peeta, over there, there’s something!”

“Where?” He started searching around, unsuccessfully, until Katniss dragged him towards the light.

“Here, the light… wow…”

Stumbling behind her, Peeta finally came into the little clearing Katniss had spotted. There was a pond, fed by a tiny stream coming out of dark stone, its presence only revealed by the music of the falling water.

Japanese paper lanterns were scattered around, safely hung from trees, or on pedestals, giving the place a fairy-like touch. The water was lit by two others, placed on the water lilies.

“This is like a fairytale….”

Fireflies, attracted by the light, bumbled in the air, making their way through the heavy foliage of a willow tree, its branches so long they touched the surface of the water.

She felt his intake of breath as he took in the scenery  , his hand clutching hers tighter. Turning her head, she saw him looking all around, as if he was trying to capture the beauty of the place in his mind.

“I wish I had my sketchbook…” he whispered, as if not wanting to disturb the peace and silence of the place.

“So you draw?” Katniss asked.

“Yeah, when I have a bit of time.”

“You do have an eye for beauty.”

He nodded. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

She tookin the scenery in front of her, before glancing at him again. But he wasn’t looking at the pond or the willows or the lanterns. He was looking at her.

“Peeta?”

“You don't know, do you? The effect you have?” he whispered, his hand moving to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “Dance with me, Katniss. Please?” He tugged at the hand he held.

“There’s no music.”

“Does it matter?”

She realized it didn’t. She took his hand, but before they began, she removed her boots, wanting to feel the grass under her feet. He chuckled before doing exactly the same thing, toeing off his Vann’s, before pulling her closer.

She felt his heartbeat against her chest as they started to move together, bathed in the moonlight and the water lights, following a rhythm only they could feel. Their eyes were locked, lost in one another, telling each other stories they didn’t dare share out loud.

Their lips found each other in the same movement, as they continued dancing.

Katniss didn’t know who started the kiss, or who stopped it. One moment, her lips were covered by his, warm and soft, and the next, they weren’t. She could feel the breeze instead of Peeta, the smell of him all around her, but she missed him, his contact.

Opening her eyes, she found the blue of his looking into hers, as if asking for something, for permission, maybe? She wanted to lean in, to feel him against her lips, but he decided otherwise, making her spin before catching her in his arms.

She couldn’t help but laugh, the feel of the grass on the soles of her feet tickling her, the light of the moon in the sky highlighting his blond hair, the warmth of his hands reviving her body. She laughed and he smiled, watching her turn in his arms, her long locks free, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

Katniss’s mind was only focused on the here and now, on the feelings that threatened to explode out of her body, feelings she thought were long gone, never to be seen again. She was glad to have been wrong.

She wanted more, though. More than a peck on the lips. She wanted to know what really kissing Peeta would feel like.

But right now Peeta seemed to be focused on making her dance, spinning her, dipping her, not caring about their discarded shoes, or how the grass was wetting the hems of their trousers. They danced to a music without tune, without beat, but they knew the song, they could feel it, no indications needed.

Katniss smiled, her head spinning, but she wanted more, needed more. She stilled in Peeta’s arms, not taking his cue to turn again. Around them, fireflies were still dancing. She leaned forward, her lips touching his again, and it felt like going someplace she’d always known, so close to her heart. This time though, she let her lips explore his, lingering on the creases of his lips, discovering them, as if she wanted to commit them to her memories. He didn’t hesitate in reciprocating, searching her lips as if to map them, with a hunger, a greed that surprised her.

Katniss felt a moan starting in the back of her throat, and was unable to stifle it, unable to think about anything other than his lips on hers, until she felt his tongue tracing her mouth. She didn’t hesitate, parting her lips to let him in, to welcome him, taking the chance to chase after him too. His hands let hers go, and climbed to cup her face, his thumbs caressing the soft planes of her cheeks, fingers splayed on her jaw, anchoring her to him as their tongues danced to a score they seemed to have known since the dawn of time.

Her head started to spin,  more than she had while dancing in Peeta’s arms.

She should have known he would be the one making her spin with joy like the little girl she once had been.

She didn’t mind.

At all.