#That first part isn't a no either btw. It's just a 'i already barely understand my own gender'

[hajihiko]

How do you feel about trans hajime agenda

Same way I feel about most gender, sexuality, and neuro headcanons: not something I *personally* really need to talk about or name, but anything that makes people happy is a thumbs up from me

[pennyl4n3]

The Pool

*Taking a deep breath*

Well well well, this is my first fanfic (or should I say second or third? Btw, this one came to a conclusion) and I've never been much into writing, but Duskwood and all of you fantastic people in the fandom here brought me to this. I hope you like it, and of course I look forward to your comments and feedback.

Pairing: Jake x MC

Contents: Angst, Sadness, Fluff, Romance

It had been three months since his last contact with her. He'd had to disappear from the radar, the government breathing down his neck. Every day he fought the urge to write to her; he couldn't risk putting her in danger. He couldn't even risk reading her conversations at the moment, so he was as blind as she was.

He didn't know where she was, if she was okay, if she was mad at him, though after all this time he imagined she was. The last time they had written to each other she was in Duskwood and he had every intention of finally catching up with her. Things hadn't gone as planned unfortunately, and the deal he was trying to make with the government had fallen through, forcing him to become a fugitive again.

He was exhausted, he was free and yet he felt imprisoned in an endless loop. Ever since he had met her he had realized how heavy his condition was to bear, how much he missed talking to someone in person, how much he longed to get out without having to disguise himself. He wanted to move, to run, to be outside, and above all else he wanted to run to her, and hold her, look into her eyes, tell her in his voice how much he missed her.

While he was lost in these thoughts he scrolled through their last conversations, rereading every word and every comma. At one point he found the conversation in which they had talked about one of MC's great passions, swimming. He barely knew how to float, he had never had a chance to learn it as a child, and on that occasion he had promised himself he would try it someday. MC had told him about a public pool in her hometown that was easy to get into at night through a gate with a broken lock. She had gone there many times, when she needed to relieve her nerves and to be alone. Suddenly Jake felt the urge to see that pool, and set about finding it. Amazingly it was a couple of blocks from where he was hiding, the next step was to check the security cams near the building and along the way. He could do it without too much difficulty, and he really needed to get some air and some purpose, so he slipped on his sweatshirt, pulled on his hood and mask, and set off.

He arrived within minutes, constantly looking around. The streets were practically empty, but caution was never too much. The pool was a low building, all on one level. Mentally following MC's directions he managed to find the little gate, behind some bushes. It was still broken, unbelievable. Curiosity was stronger than him and he continued towards the entrance. His footsteps echoed in the hall, as he went down the few steps that led directly to the pool floor, the smell of chlorine filled his nostrils. Even though it was night he could see almost all of the interior well, thanks to the huge windows that almost reached the ceiling and let in the illumination of the street lamps, just as MC had told him.

He sat on the steps and stayed there for a while, lost in his imagination, even though he had never seen MC, enjoying that moment of peace, and trying to imagine her doing something that made her feel good...

A noise outside startled him, he ran off the steps and flattened himself against the wall. He waited in silence, his nerves on edge, his heart in his throat, his eye searching for possible alternatives escape routes. another metallic noise, and the angry meows of two cats fighting each other. Jake breathed a sigh of relief but waited vigilantly for a while longer before heading for the exit with shaking legs. When he returned to his shelter, he promised himself he would never try it again, but that was not to be. He returned there two more nights, until he decided to get a swimsuit and try swimming.

And so Jake found himself inside the pool, scared and unsure at first, but after a few minutes he began to feel the benefit of being in the water, the lightness provided by its support. He knew it wouldn't last long, but he continued to go there as many nights as he could. He would return to his hut tired but satisfied, and he could even get a decent night's sleep.

One evening he was trying to swim as usual when he heard a female voice saying jokingly, "well, I thought I was the only one who knew this place, but apparently not." Jake froze, almost having a heart attack. He was in the water, there was no way to escape. He drew a deep breath, thinking that it was anyway dark enough, and that his features weren't clearly visible, and decided to try not to look too suspicious. "Yeah, apparently not" he replied, trying to keep his voice from shaking. The girl smiled, or so it seemed to him, and continued, "I guess you like to be here alone, just like I usually do, but I could really use a swim tonight. I'll go in the back lane, I swear I won't bother you. Is that okay?" "O-oh yeah, yeah, go ahead," Jake mumbled, trying to hide his face as much as possible, and stood watching her as she made her way to the other side of the pool, still shocked that there was another human being in the same room as him. He realized that he was staring in her direction, and decided to start swimming again. After a while he stopped, out of breath and with tired arms, and saw that the girl instead was still swimming, at a brisk pace, and giving no sign of wanting to stop. He got out of the water and sat on the steps, wrapped in his towel, trying to catch his breath. Watching her was hypnotic, she moved with fluid movements, slow and steady. He wondered if MC swam like that too. How he wished he could have written to her to tell her he was swimming, or at least trying to, and to thank her for letting him discover this wonderful new experience as well. Since he had met her, his life had taken on a new light, where before only greyness and despair reigned.

His phone made a sound, bringing him back to reality. It was time to go home. He dressed quickly and headed for the exit, he didn't want to interrupt the girl's concentration, and he didn't intend to introduce himself, so better that way. Once back at the shelter he went back to work on his laptop, while eating a sandwich. Concentration continued to leave him that night, however, as the encounter with the stranger had brought him back to MC in a big way.

He returned to the pool the next evening, yearning to tire himself out and find some peace of mind. Once he got to the door he heard the sound of water coming from inside, he carefully pushed his way across the threshold, trying to figure out who was there and was relieved to see that it was again the girl he met the night before. He walked over to his side of the pool and removed his clothes as he cast furtive glances at her. He dove into the water and began to swim, trying to focus on his breathing, which was the part he struggled with the most. When he emerged with bated breath, he saw the girl standing at the edge of the pool and winced. "Hi, I didn't mean to scare you. I've been watching you swim and I thought I could give you a few tips, if you don't mind" Jake was so amazed and scared that for a few seconds he could only stare at her with his mouth open. "I-I...I don't.... " she giggled softly and shrugged her shoulders "Ok, look, I didn't mean to embarrass you...I'm going back to my lane. If you want it you know you can ask it okay?" And she turned to go back to her lane. "Wait. Yes, please I will gladly accept your help." Jake said. She retraced her steps and squatted down beside the edge of the pool with a smile on her face. "So, first let's start with your upper body, I've noticed that you move it a lot between strokes and that wastes your energy and breath. Try to stand up straighter, your arms and legs do most of the work. Then, every time you pull your arm forward, you can inhale if you feel the need to, and slowly you'll find yourself pulling two strokes, then three, and so on, but don't be in a hurry. If you take care of your technique well, managing your breath will already be easier." Jake was focused on her words and nodded, before turning around and trying again. Following her advice actually felt like he was already doing better. A wave of satisfaction ran through him when he managed to do his usual laps without getting breathless. He emerged smiling and sat on the edge of the pool. She was still there and looked at him approvingly, then asked "Better now, isn't it? "Yes, thank you very much." He answered. "Thanks to you, I'm just back in town but I'm not having much contact with the rest of the world, helping you was a pleasure" "I... I understand, I didn't have much contact lately either". A slightly embarrassed silence fell between them. It was Jake's phone that broke it, by emitting an alarm tone. Jake got up quickly and headed for his bagpack. "I, uh, have to go now, thanks again for your help." She looked at him briefly, nodded, and stepped back. "Oh, yeah, sure, no problem. Well, good night then" and walked back to the pool. "Good night" he replied, and as soon as she turned around, he changed his wet swimsuit with dry clothes and headed quickly to the exit.

As he walked down the street, he wondered if he wasn't risking too much by going to the pool regularly, and by confiding in that unknown girl. He then decided that it would be better to avoid it for a while, even if it was with great regret.

Jake avoided the pool for a few days, but eventually decided to go back. He couldn't wait to get there. As he walked the short distance between his hiding place and the pool, he mentally savored the feel of the water, the smell of the chlorine, the relaxation it gave him to swim until his muscles ached. As always, he sneaked up on the hidden entrance, his senses all out to catch any suspicious movements or noises. That evening, however, he heard no suspicious noises as he entered the large room with the tanks, but a soft sobbing. He listened for a while, trying to distinguish where the crying was coming from. When he spotted the silhouette of the mysterious girl on the steps he felt a tug at his heart, and could not help but go near her.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he said softly.

She looked up with a jolt, and when she recognized him she answered a little annoyed: "What do you think? No, everything is not okay." She immediately realized she had been abrupt, and added in a tone of apology, clutching her knees to her chest: "Sorry, I didn't think you would come, I haven't seen you here in a while and you caught me off guard..." "It's okay, no need to apologize. I guess I interrupted an intimate moment of yours. It's just that hearing you cry made me worried somehow." He replied to her as he blushed, realizing what he had just said. "I-I meant...well I mean, sorry if I m-maybe I embarrassed you, I should probably go and..." hinting back. "No, wait. Please stay. If it's not a problem for you of course. I don't really feel like being alone anymore." she said as she reached out a hand towards him and motioned for him to sit beside her. Jake was tense, the last thing he had expected that night was to find himself consoling the mysterious girl, but he certainly couldn't leave her there alone, she had always been very kind to him and he was sincerely sorry to see her sad. He exhaled a deep breath and went to sit next to her as he pulled a handkerchief from a pocket of his backpack and handed it to her. "Thank you," she said with a smile, "I really appreciate it." For a while an awkward silence descended, during which they both stared at their hands. Suddenly she blurted out "You know, I'm worried about someone, that's why I was crying. I haven't heard from him in a while and I don't know what to think. I'm trying to move on, I promised him, and really, I'm trying so hard, but some days the weight of his absence is so hard to bear that I can barely get out of bed. Whatever I do the thought of him is with me. This is the only place I can find some peace, because swimming empties my mind b-but t-tonight..." her eyes glazed over again as she swallowed, trying to push back the tears. He had listened to her in silence until that moment, respecting her moment of venting, but when he realized she was about to cry again he felt he had to do something, so he passed his left arm behind her back and pulled her to him, gently holding her in an embrace. "I-I can understand it, you know? I promised one person I would move on too. But it's so hard. I want to call her, I want to write her, I want to know how she is doing, where she is...but every day I forbid myself to do that. And I know I owe it to her, because she doesn't deserve to keep feeling bad because of me and my mistakes and..." his voice faded away, as he realized that he was risking to say things he shouldn't have said, he recovered quickly trying to cut it short and not to let the tremor in his voice be heard "...and I understand you, that's it. I miss her so much too."

As they stood in silence, his heart running fast in his chest and he desperately looking for something else to say, he felt her draw back into his embrace and sigh. It felt good to have her in his arms, and feeling her calming down warmed his heart. It had been so long since Jake had touched anyone, not really talked to anyone, hardly remembered what it was like. A little later she said softly, "Thank you. For sharing a little piece of you with me. You don't need to talk about it if you don't feel like it, I understand. It's... " she stopped thoughtfully, "Complicated" finished Jake. "Yes, yes exactly! It's damn complicated. But knowing that someone can understand me makes me feel better." then she turned to him and drew a deep breath, then added, "Well, how about a swim? After all, this is what we both came for." Jake nodded and removed his arm from her shoulders. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He got up from the steps and walked over to the usual little corner where he used to change his clothes, while she headed to her pool lane and dove in. Once he slipped into his swimsuit, Jake entered cautiously, still pensive from that brief but intense exchange of confessions.

He slowly dived down to the bottom and stayed there for a while, still immersed in his thoughts. He had to stop those nightly outings. They were already dangerous in themselves, and now this unknown girl had been added, making him talk too freely. All of his inner alarms were telling him it was time to stop, and it was also time to change hiding places again, even though being so close to a place in MC's heart made him feel closer to her.

A movement to the side of his field of vision brought him out of his thoughts, and out of the pool as well. When he got to his feet he ran a hand over his eyes and pulled his hair back so he could see better, turning to face the source of the movement. He saw her in the aisle next to where he stood, staring at him. "A-are you ok?" said him in an uncertain voice. She giggled and replied, "I was going to ask you the same thing, you weren't coming up out of the water anymore." "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I scared you, I was just... well, reflecting." he replied. She stared at him intently, looking at his black hair, stuck to the sides of his face, and said tilting her head "It's weird you know? You remind me so much of him, the way you behave somehow, I can't actually explain it". Jake blushed and swallowed hard. "I'll take it as a compliment" he replied, and stepped out of the water. "I have to get back. I hope you feel better now." continued, while heading to the bag of dry clothes. She stood staring at him, wondering if she had made him uncomfortable with that confession. When she realised he was about to undress she turned around, blushing. She waited for a while and then sat down on the edge of the bath and said with a smile, "Yes, I'm feeling better, thanks to you. Good night, stranger."

When he arrived to the hut, something alarmed him: some of the boards near the entrance were placed differently than he had left them. He quickly stepped into the shadows and took out his phone to check inside. Two men were sitting at his usual spot, peering at the screens. Jake was quick to slip back downstairs and to reach out his hiding place number two, three doors down. As soon as he was seated, he took his phone out of his jeans pocket and started the hidden cameras. The two men didn't seem to have any idea what they were looking at, and they didn't look like officers either, to be honest. Maybe two thieves? But what kind of thieves would break into an old warehouse with the windows covered by boards? What did they expect to find there? He carefully examined the video images from the cameras he had placed around the rest of the perimeter of the building and saw a couple of policemen in the back. "Fuck!" he whispered through his teeth. He prepared to format everything in the hiding place and stood vigilantly by, watching them alternately. The two intruders were probably hiding from the cops, and risked exposing him. He noticed that there was a car shop next door and decided to create a diversion. He quickly managed to hack into the shop's security system and set it to go off, so that the cops could be sent away. He then logged on to his workstation and simply brought up Nymos, some glitches and the words "intruders detected, defensive protocol activated" on the screens. It was more than enough to send the two of them running for the hills.

He sighed with relief, letting himself down on the makeshift mattress behind him. He stayed like that for a while as he listened to his heartbeat return to a normal rhythm, his adrenaline slowly subsiding, his breathing becoming regular. His stomach rumbled, so he reached into his bag and pulled out an energy bar. After an hour or so, he locked the entrance to the main hideout and went back the way he'd come: better stay there for the night. As he settled in for the night, streams of thoughts came over him. He realised that the idea of leaving MC hometown made him feel lost, even though she wasn't there, and it wasn't even certain that she would return. Still, he knew he had to leave, that evening's mishap was another proof of that. There wasn't much to think about really, he had to move again, maybe he'd come back later. He thought of the girl at the pool, of her pain, so familiar. How was it possible that love could always bring so much suffering? He drifted off to sleep with those thoughts in his head, and woke up restless.

The next morning Jake was almost done packing up all of his belongings and ready to go. He wondered if once he was settled into his new hiding place, he would find another pool where he could train undisturbed, so he set about identifying all the potential candidates. How he wished he could have told MC about this! As he scanned the pools and studied their surroundings it occurred to him that he could write her using a disposable phone before leaving. His hands began to shake at the mere thought of being able to write her again. Would she be happy to read it? Maybe she was angry with him. In their last conversation she had told him to at least let her know if he was alive as soon as he could. Before he could think about it too much longer, he stormed out of the room and headed for the first open store. Once he retrieved the disposable phone he went back to the spare hut and slipped into it with all his things. He turned on the phone and prepared it for use.

*??? is online*

Jake:Hello, MC.

Shortly after came the reply

*** MC is online ***

MC:Jake! Are you okay?

Jake:Yes MC, I'm fine. I apologize for not letting you hear from me again, it was too dangerous.

MC:That's okay, I'm so glad to read you now, I kept telling myself that you were definitely fine and that I shouldn't have written you, as promised

Jake felt his palms sweat.

Jake:You know, I've been going swimming lately. At night, on the sly. Your enthusiasm about it convinced me. You were so right MC, it can empty your mind. I wanted so hard to thank you for that.

MC:I went swimming recently too, at night, it kept me from going crazy. Maybe we swam at the same time

Jake: :)

Jake:And do you know where I was? The place you told me about. It was like I felt closer to you

MC squinted her eyes

MC:Jake... you don't mean that place with big windows almost to the ceiling,do you?

Jake:Yes, exactly that.

MC bursted in laugh and shaked her head in disbelief.

MC:And you didn't happen to meet someone? Like a really nice, kind girl who gave you lessons?

Jake felt his knees buckle and had to lean against the wall to keep from falling.

Jake:You...

Jake:Was that you?

Butterflies were spreading through his stomach.

MC:So you hugged me the other night! I was crying just for you, and you were there, this is crazy!

MC:Where are you now?

His eyes widened.

Jake:MC me, I was going to leave the town, last night I found intruders in my shelter, it's not safe for me to be here anymore.

For a time that seemed eternal to him there was no sign of life on the other end of the phone.

Jake:MC...

MC:Don't you dare

MC:Don't you dare leaving again. You've been staying here for days, and even allowed yourself to go out almost every night, and you never wrote me anything. Now that we might meet you're starting this again.

MC:We met by accident Jake! Does that seem normal to you???

MC:I'll be waiting there tonight, you better come

***MC is offline***

Jake stared at the phone bewildered. He was terrified. He couldn't believe he had hugged MC the night before. And she was crying, because of him. She was right, he couldn't leave again.

That night he went to the pool, almost running. He sneaked up on the hidden entrance, holding his breath, and went to sit on the steps where he usually rested his backpack. A short time later he saw her walk in and head towards him. It seemed to him that his heart was about to explode. He stood up and walked over to her. They both found themselves running to cover the final distance that separated them. They hugged each other tightly, and stayed that way, without speaking for who knows how long. Neither of them wanted to untie the embrace, as if to do so meant to lose themselves again.

At the end MC pulled back a little to look him in the eyes, and said, "I was beginning to think this moment would never come" "And instead we found each other without even knowing it" he replied chuckling. She blushed and rose on tiptoe to give him a light kiss on the lips.

"Shall we go for a swim?" she told him with a mischievous grin. "Sure. I've been taking lessons" he replied as he began to undress.

[sirfrogsworth]

I had a doozy of a day yesterday.

First, I strained my neck really bad. Which is some real malarky because I wasn't even doing anything strenuous. It's like I turn 40 and my body starts randomly attacking me. I could barely turn my head most of the day. It took hours to find one body position and head angle that wasn't torture. Then I had to freeze myself in that position most of the day and not move an inch.

Thankfully my neck was much better when I woke up this morning. I don't know how, because I have the most un-ergonomic sleeping positions.

Maybe it was the neck gods granting me mercy or maybe it was this weird topical cream my mom gave me.

I don't know where they find the super strong blue emus for this stuff, or what dastardly experiments they are doing to create super-emus, but I'm worried if they aren't careful, there will be another Emu war.

I do not want to fight Captain Emurica, The First Emuvenger.

I'm quite worried I rubbed bits of Captain Emurica's father on my neck and he might be pissed about that.

(How great is Chris's artwork btw?)

Unfortunately the neck pain and emus weren't what made it such a carbuncle of a day.

(Katrina drew me this during the infamous back hole incident.)

My anxiety and anger were through the roof and I could not get to sleep no matter how sleepy I was.

I'm just worried about my parents.

So...

I need to rant about something using vagueries and faux salty language.

I apologize for not naming names and detailing details, but the context clues might be enough to suss it out.

Also, I really wish I was good at profanity and I didn't feel latent programmed Catholic guilt every time I curse. Because if anything deserves to be laced with f*cking f*cky f*cks... it is this post.

A few... outside elements... that have barely been a part of our lives... and don't know anything about our family unit...

They are suggesting these huge, crazy, ridiculous life changes for us.

I mean, gee whiz, they are suggesting these things before my dad has even started his gosh dang rehab.

Why in the heckin' world would you stress someone the heck out, who is trying his heckest to stay hecking positive and heal, with conversations about changing everything about their hecking life?

Why in the ever-loving heckity-heck would you instill a huge worry and anxiety in someone who has at least a month of grueling physical therapy and dialysis treatments ahead of him?

READ THE HECKING ROOM.

Like, maybe that can wait until my dad can walk to the hecking bathroom on his own again.

Jesus Hecking Christ.

It just makes me super-strength-emu mad they decided to suggest these things without even having a monkeyfighting conversation with me first.

Like I don't even frakking exist in this scenario. It would completely change my living situation too. It could make me homeless for Baby Jesus' sake. My disability isn't nearly enough to pay rent. I would need like, 40 roommates.

I would need to join a cult I guess.

Which sucks because they don't even give you *real* murder Kool-Aid. People always say "Don't drink the Kool-Aid!" but Jim Jones was a cheapskate and got fatherflorping Flavor Aid.

I mean, Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat, if I'm going out... I want the real stuff.

You know what. I know my value.

Kool-Aid isn't good enough for me either.

I want Wild Cherry Capri Sun in that little aluminum foil bag that you can never get the straw into.

For Merlin's beard's sake, the fact that these outside elements didn't recognize how stressed we all are already, and that it was incredibly bad timing to bring up uprooting everything in our lives right now, shows that they don't understand our living situation in the first goldarn place.

They don't know all of the solutions we've implemented to adapt to new circumstances. They don't know that I can cook 3 things now. They don't know the plans we've made to further adapt our lives.

They just swoop in and think they know what is best for us.

Well, for my parents.

Again, I was not considered.

At all.

So I had to help put out this anxiety fire for my parents and tell them they just needed to focus on getting my dad through rehab.

For now, that is our *only* focus.

We need to do one thing at a time and that is step 1.

And probably step 2, 3, 4, 12, 18 and however many steps it is from his reclining chair to the bathroom.

If anyone tries to talk about plans beyond that, I told my parents to just say, "Right now we are focusing on rehabilitation and will not be discussing anything else."

Just keep repeating that word for word.

I told them no matter how many times they bring it up or how hard people attempt to steer the conversation, cut them off and say that until they get the drift.

As far as the rehab goes, my dad is making progress.

*Slow* progress.

The kind of progress that is two steps forward and one step back. And sometimes the reverse of that. And sometimes involves that exact amount of physical steps.

Sometimes success doesn't happen in a straight line. Sometimes is it more... fractal. And complicated. And successes get all divided and loop de loopy.

These past 2 weeks have been especially hard for him. They actually sent him to a rehab place once already. They decided to send him to a very local one because they thought it would be more convenient for us to visit him.

They are *terrible* about notifying us about any of these decisions. I asked several doctors to call us with updates. And one doctor did call us twice—but all he did was literally read my dad's chart to us. No prognosis. No assessment of how he was doing. Just a bunch of medical-ese about his kidney function and whatnot.

The thing is, if they *had* notified us, we could have told them we can't actually visit him because we are disabled and have no transportation and it's the middle of a monkeyfighting pandemic and we can't risk it anyway.

Visitation shouldn't have been a factor in where they sent him.

And it extra fudging sucks that we can't be at the hospital and talk with the doctors in person. It seems they can only give you attention for the 2 minutes they are in the room. My dad is not in a state of mind to be making big decisions—but most of the hospital staff don't care about that. The nurses try their best when we call, but they are knee-deep in COVID during all of this.

A grand total of one person had the presence of mind to get our permission to start him on dialysis because he was too confused to make that decision on his own.

Usually they just barge into his room with a clipboard and are all... "Sign here and go here."

So this was a problem when they basically chose the rehab facility for him because, well...

We live in a not-so-great area.

Most folks around here are poor like us.

Businesses don't want to be around this area. Even the fast food places are shutting down. One Pizza Hut is now an abandoned lot because no one wants to buy a building with such a distinct roof. And the next nearest Pizza Hut refuses to deliver to our address because they don't think it is safe. But our street is isolated and very safe. I mean, we've had a few burglaries over the years, but so do fancy places. They are making heist movies all the time of rich people getting robbed. And even though the website lets us order and says we are in the delivery radius, they keep calling and cancelling our order—making up excuses like "We don't deliver past the train tracks."

What I'm trying to say is... because the facility was in our area, it was pretty terrible.

Like, 1.0 stars terrible.

They just aren't given the resources to run it properly anymore. Elderly care facilities should be subsidized and staffed with medical professionals. Not Zev and his marketer. They didn't even have a single nurse on staff there.

And the hospital just sent him there without consulting me or my mom. I did not have the chance to do any research before they carted him off.

Because of this (this is where things get a lot less humorous) he was sent to a place where they were borderline abusive.

Or maybe just regular abusive. I don't know.

The world doesn't give a shiitake mushroom about the sick and the elderly and this place was a manifestation of that.

They didn't have a bed ready when he got there. He didn't have a TV for 2 days. He didn't have a room phone. They lost his phone charger. He was out of contact and alone for over a day before we could replace it. The food was rubber. My dad had trouble swallowing said rubber food. When he asked for a snack instead, they told him "Just eat it." He explained he had an actual medical issue with swallowing. They said "You can do it." and left the room. Several times when he asked for help they just told him "No."

My dad said he felt like he was in jail. He was scared and frustrated and unable to do any healing. It all came to a head and at one point he got so angry and confused that he called the police. They came and interviewed him and the staff.

Sadly, the cops didn't care or do anything.

The next day when he was at dialysis a nurse noticed he had a small bleeding issue and they had to admit him back to the hospital.

This turned out to be kind of a blessing in disguise.

He was able to get better treatment at the hospital and we were given time to find a better place for him to heal.

When my brother went to the old rehab place to collect my dad's belongings they "lost" his electric razor and his suitcase was severely damaged. We are pretty sure this was retaliation for my dad calling the police.

So... he won't be going back there.

We decided since we can't visit him anyway to send him to the rehab place *not* in our immediate area.

Basically... we are sending him where the rich folks live. (That is still covered by our insurance.)

The pictures online look much nicer than the other place and my brother toured the place beforehand. The reviews are in the 4 to 5 star range.

As far as my dad's current condition... he is able to stand up right now. Which may not sound like a lot—but is a good sign. He was too weak for that even just a few days ago.

Every journey begins with a minor bleeding issue that resets your journey to a place where you can start your new journey with a single step.

Or something.

Journey 2.0.

They also installed a defibrillating pacemaker to upgrade his old pacemaker. (He also has a titanium hip. What percentage is necessary to officially become a cyborg?) His heart doctor said it really helped and his heart is already stronger. And the dialysis is going well too. The kidney doctor said he may not need it as much as they initially planned—but for right now it is 3 times a week.

His brain is so much clearer now and his confusion seems limited to just after waking up. I can tell just by the tone of his voice that his cognitive function has improved significantly. I can have a normal conversation with him now and he seems very lucid.

Lucid enough to complain about hospital food again.

Before he was so confused he thought his dreams were real. He kept telling us the FBI was there and investigating a bomb threat.

"Dad, you dreamed that." "No, they showed me their badge and everything."

So him being grumpy about a real problem instead of Mulder & Scully in bomb disposal outfits was a pretty big deal and lifted a lot of anxiety from the shoulders of my brain.

I'm hopeful if he can stick it out for a month or so in rehab, he can have a somewhat comfortable life again.

He can come home, sit in his cliché leather reclining chair that all dads seem to end up with, and watch his John Wayne movies.

I spent two weeks scouring the seediest places on the internet (torrenters will get that pun) trying to collect as many Marion Morrison movies as I could find. I ended up finding 104 masterpieces of masculinity.

I even found that terrible, terribly racist Genghis Khan movie where like 40 people died of cancer because Howard Hughes told them to film next to an atomic bomb testing site.

That's all he really wants.

Well, maybe not that movie specifically.

I added that as a joke.

But all of the other ones with horses and big hats and six-shooters...

That's all he really needs.

And maybe a ride to dialysis 3 times a week.

Okay... so... his chair, John Wayne movies, and reliable transportation.

*That's* all he really needs.

I just wish certain people were more motivated to help make that happen for him instead of sticking him somewhere he doesn't fucking want to be.

Pardon my goddamn fucking French.

[annebrontesrequiem]

Hello there! If it's alright with you, may I request headcanons for the RFA+V and Saeran finding out and interacting with a male MC? If I remember right, I think there was an option claiming you were a boy in the beginning but someone ends up shooting it down. I'm very sorry if this request is bothering you in anyway, there isn't a lot of content of Male!MC around since MM is an otome game so I've just been a little curious. (´•ω•̥`)

Okay, so I hope I did a good job with this! I’m so awful too! You’re so nice but this took me soooo lol. Anyway, hope you like lol! I think I did an okayyyy job haha!

Zen

He didn’t realize that you were a boy

He wasn’t paying much attention to Seven when he was talking about you, but hey, he knew now lol *cries in corner*

“Hey, Zen?” You messaged one day.

“Yeah?”

“How come you call me she? I’m a boy.”

“Oh… well, um, haha, I thought you were a girl…”

He’d never been more embarrassed in his entire life

But fortunately, you took it in stride and the whole thing was soon forgot

He was super excited to meet you at the party, it was the big thing he’d been waiting for ever since you joined

You’d sent him a picture of your brown suit with the dark blue tie, and he was in love with it lol

He’d also sent you his white tux and you had texted back so many smiley-hearts faces he was afraid the app would crash

By this time, you two had become very close

So, when you saw him you immediately ran and tackled him in a huge hug

He definitely returned the hug

After you two were just talking, catching up on everything you hadn’t already told each other

You guys spent hours talking, only being interrupted the few moments that you had to deal with someone about the party

That night you two walked to his house and you slept over

You were very excited and had a wonderful time

Now you two borrow each other’s clothes, and other things

He even got you to use his shampoo haha

It’s all around wonderful

You two love each other so much

Yoosung

He felt a little awkward by it

You were too tall, had too much muscle

How was he supposed to be big spoon now!

#dreamsdashed

But your personality was the exact opposite, you were very shy and apprehensive of new people, even him

It took you two a bit to really strike up a conversation in person

You mostly just fussed about him and played with your bangs

He found you so cute and so… so fluffy!

The best part to him was being big spoon

Evenifhecouldbarelydoit

You guys didn’t sleep over for a while, but after a while, when you became much closer, you two did it almost every weekend

It was a life of absolute bliss

Jaehee

Usually she didn’t like… guys

She saw them as icky, and, well, kind of stupid

Let’sbehonesteveryonethinksthat

Sorrynotsorry

So, she was pleasantly surprised that when she first met you in the group chat you were very logical and understanding

You two struck up some very interesting conversations and debates about stocks, chess, and politics

It was so much fun, she enjoyed it so much and, despite herself, was eagerly anticipating you two meeting at the party

When you two met up at the party it was as if you two were old friends, not people who had barely met and weren’t used to this kind of interaction

You two talked the whole night, and on the phone the next day

After you two would meet up often at cafés, you even helped her with her coffee-shop dreams

It was a wonderful way of life

From then on you were always there

Mainlytogetthethingsshecouldn’treach

Jumin

Oh, wasn’t this great

There was a new guy in the chat

A new, VERY good-looking guy

But more importantly…

This dude was actually smart!

You weren’t obnoxious like Zen, or silly like Saeyoung, or naïve like Yoosung

He talked to you in private more than in the group chats!

It was crazy how close you two’d become

He asked you about business, cars, clothing, everything really

And in turn you asked the same

He’d never been so close to a human, guy or girl

The others might’ve thought your gender weird, but it didn’t really matter to him

Man, or woman you were a wonderful person to talk and confide in

Regardless of how close though, people were amazed that the Jumin Han was spending all his time around a, an unknown man! People were amazed and gossiping the whole time

The next day it was all over the tabloids and you were half tempted to never speak to anyone again

Jumin called you and texted your number multiple times, but you didn’t pick up until it was around 22:00

By then he was practically frantic, and afraid you’d gone and done something stupid

So, when you picked up he sighed with relief

“Jumin, I don’t want to keep talking if it’s going to happen, it’s not good for me, or you either.”

“Please MC, I promise I’ll make sure this won’t happen again.”

“Just let me think about it…”

It took you a while, but eventually you two would meet up in quiet cafés

When you finally talked to him at another part he was practically jumping with joy

“Hello Jumin.”

“Hello, MC.”

You guys talked the night away and, to his delight, it didn’t even matter

Saeyoung

“OOH IT’S A GUY!”

That one text was met with a groan, or at least no surprise

Another guy wasn’t that big of a surprise

But he was intrigued by the mysterious figure who’d just appeared, as if out of nowhere

You were pretty open, and it wasn’t like you were criminal or anything

In fact, you were very innocent and trusting, something that made him feeling very protective

He was insistent on looking out for you

Which was why when the party finally happened he was all on you like a mother cat

“You sure this is safe! What about this! Everything okay!”

“I’m not going to die”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!”

WhySaeyoung

You two actually hit it off very nicely

Very, very, very nicely

You guys goofed off, laughed, cried, and all-around had fun

He came to your apartment and you guys had basically the world’s best sleepover

The rest of the RFA might’ve never seen what he saw in you, but he sure as Hell loved you

And he was never going to let anyone make you feel bad about it

Oranythingforthatmatter

Okay, so I’ll do Saeran and V later, since my PC is literally going to die. I hope you like!!!! Sorry this took so long!! TTTTTTTTT

Sorryyyyyy!

Btw sorry this is so awful.