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#The dumpster is my fuckin KINGDOM
So this is/was a thing.
//: Walked away to finish cleaning the kitchen and prepare dinner, I have notifications enabled on my phone and it dings every time someone pings me, whether its Tumblr, Snapchat, Instagram etc and I have headphones in so I can listen to my music as loud as I want...
Anyway...
I kept getting ping after ping, to the point I just, took my headphones off and set my phone aside because it pauses my music every time.
Didn’t think a whole lot on it, one of my friends is pretty ill so she snaps me in spurts, no biggy its likely her just, letting off steam or wants someone to talk to.
Once I was finally able to actually L O O K at my screen I had a stack of 20+ notifications from Tumblr alone (my friend snapped to react to Muninn’s cursed image). Thought, sweet, some things to look into and what not! Nah.... Nothing for me to do per-say other than laugh at how ridiculously hilarious all these are...
Except the last one...
You don’t call a bitch’s cat ugly....that’s unacceptable and fucking rude as all hell. Muninn’s a precious baby and has done nothing to you.. Come to think of it, I did nothing to you other than be here...?
Like, are people that board that they go through and bomb this kind of stuff to people? Are original characters really that hated? Like...what? Brosif, if you don’t want to interact with me, cool, don’t really care...I bother you b/c I’m an oc? Sweet, I’ll add it to my repertoire of skills I guess? Like, who tf hurt you so bad you gotta be such a wretch to a random stranger?
If your that butt hurt over original characters I have some advice for you: Power down your computer, wrap the cord around its closed casing, drive down the nearest interstate as fast as you dare (hope you get pulled over btw) and whip that thing out the window.... give it the ol’ yeet to the open air and let gravity do the rest.
Just, idk, let that shit go dude... mind your own damn business and rather than being a fuckin’ coward hiding behind Annons pop in my pm’s and say it out to my face.... I really can not care any less if people don’t wanna interact with me, its not the end of the world if cannons don’t want anything to do with me. Don’t want me on your dash? Then unfollow me or idk block me? Like an adult?
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*Pictures don’t enlarge I guess...? Suffice to say they’re twenty something posts telling me to delete my blog, no one wants me around, I’m trash, Muninn’s ugly, I’m ugly irl I guess? My contents garbage.. they were blocked/reported...
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Klaus x Powered Reader
Summary: Reader is part of the umbrella academy but came when they were 12 due to parents needing help for them, ya know controlling powers and whatnot. They can shapeshift into any animal and their senses are heightened n such.
Warnings: bloody, fighting bad guys, bit of Klaus fluff
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You know that moment in a movie where they freeze frame and then the character says something like “you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”
Yeah with Klaus you have those moments more times then you could count. In fact, if you had a dollar for every time Klaus has gotten you into a freeze frame moment. (And you’ve thought about this often.)
You could probably afford a real nice apartment with actual food in its fridge. Instead of living at the Academy with some apples and Klaus’ latest alcoholic beverage.
But alas, here you are in a back alley as Klaus’ bodyguard waiting for some Italian mafia members to come get their money that he owes them. Well that’s what you’re assuming but Klaus insists they’re just some moody tough guys. Okay sure.
You watch Klaus as he paces back and forth in front of you counting his cash for about the 50th time in the past 10 minutes.
Klaus stops abruptly and turns to you with a smile, “You know what I love about you, Y/N, every time I think things could get worse I look at your pretty face and I know you got me.”
Sighing in knowing annoyance you look up at him, “Are you short.”
Klaus snorts, “No actually I’m pretty long.” He says with wink.
You look up to the sky trying not to crack, you couldn’t give him the satisfaction even if it was funny, not the time or place. Especially considering his dumbass is short some cash he definitely owes very soon.
You look over to Klaus again and raise an eyebrow.
“Alright how much?”
He twiddles is fingers while avoiding your curious gaze. “Oh you know...a couple hundred or so.”
“So that’s why I’m here, emotional support my ass”, You say rolling your eyes a bit amused nonetheless.
Klaus may be an idiot but he’s funny and kind and you love him. Also you do enjoy beating up gangsters or whoever these thugs of the hour are.
Folding your arms while giving Klaus a smirk you tell him, “Well your friends better get their asses here cause when they do. I’m gonna knock their teeth in for making us wait in this shit ally. I’ve been suppressing the urge to vomit for 10 minutes.”
He nods in agreement, glad you’re not about to rip him a new one for his latest antics.
“Wait, does it really smell that bad, I mean the dumpster is at the other end of the ally.” He says in confusion.
You put your hands on your hips glancing at the dumpster and then focusing on Klaus.
“I’ve got the whole animal kingdom inside me Klaus, I know you can kinda smell that dumpster from here, but listen. For me it’s 1000x worse and let me tell you it doesn’t smell like a bath and body works around here.”
Klaus laughs scratching the back of his head, “Right, right, sorry.”
Suddenly a sketchy looking black car rolls into the ally, coming to a halt as three angry looking men walk out. Clearly hiding something within their coats, the “leader” it seems steps up and speaks.
“You betta have that 1,000 you owe us right fucking now you little theif, I don’t appreciate you takin’ my mother’s gold necklace, rest her soul.” He growls.
Klaus raises his hands up, “Listen buddy, you stole that from your own mother at her funeral...and let me tell you she’s not to happy about it.” He says looking to his left where you assume this guys dead mother is standing.
The bald guy behind him shakes his head and says, “So fuckin what? We needed that shit for other important purposes raccoon eyes.”
Klaus now lost as to where this situation is about to turn looks over at you clearly needing assistance. While mouthing “help me”.
Walking past him you hold your hands up showing you have nothing to hide, “Now that’s not very nice, a real shit personality, your mother would be very disappointed in how you’ve turned out. Cause let’s be honest it’s not like your looks are doing anything for you either.” You say snickering trying to see how they’ll react.
The first guy smirks reaching into his coat to pull out a nasty looking knife. “See this right here, I’m a good old fashioned man, I don’t believe in guns.”
You raise your eyebrows at him, “Oh well in that case we should all be quite relieved then.”
Looking behind him you notice as his two friends pull their own weapons out, which consists of a hammer and some type of meat hook.
“Klaus couldn’t have picked an easier bunch of idiots to fuck up then these psychos.” You thought.
The bald one begins to move brushing past the first guy looking like he’s seeing red.
“Jesus, man I didn’t mean to offend, I’m just making friendly conversation.” You muse.
Baldy begins to charge holding up his hammer ready to strike. “Come here you bitch, that’s my husband you’re talking to.”
He swings as you side step him, tripping him as he falls directly onto the concrete. Conveniently dropping the hammer in the process. Klaus being the ever troublesomely fantastic sidekick, picks up the hammer and throws it at you.
Gripping the hammer tightly, baldy rises from the ground faster then you’d expected mouth bloody and boiling with rage.
But in a hot second his bearded buddy in crime sprints towards you with his meat hook seemingly out of nowhere.
Klaus yells for you to watch out but you didn’t even need to look, this guys heart beat is louder then a firework and you’re faster then a viper, your senses on overload. As you turn around in record time to grab the guys right arm with the meat hook.
With your left hand tight around this guys beefy one you hold on and push his assault giving him more power. Effectively fulfilling your plan and leading the hook right into baldys chest. Who was fortunately running towards you.
A split second later with the hammer in your right hand you swing it forcefully into the guys shins. Hearing a sweet sickly crunch sound and the wild howls protruding from your assailants throat.
“Sorry I didn’t know you were married.”
“Fuck you!” He screams.
You look up hearing the sting of metal being swung in the wind, to see a knife heading straight for your throat.
With lighting reflexes you grab his wrist, the knife inches from your vulnerable skin.
Klaus gasps in the background terrified and relieved at not getting your throat slit.
You turn your fingernails to sharp cat-like claws that dig dangerously into his flesh, causing hot blood to drip out. The man drops the knife and grimaces in pain.
“I don’t know about you but I don’t think my boyfriend owes you three motherfuckers shit.” You growl, eyes beginning to glow an electric blue while the whites of your eyes shift to black, something that happens when you start to use your power.
“Fuck you, and fuck that thieving piece of junky shit crying in the corner.”
Your mood darkens, “Wrong answer.”
Letting go of his bloody wrist you grip his throat with your left hand lifting him off the ground. He begins to choke and struggles against your tight grasp.
“I know you’ve heard of me from other friends of yours, so listen very closely. If you touch Klaus again or anyone else around here who’s just trying to survive in this city. I won’t be so generous next time. Or maybe I should rip your fucking face off right now.” You squeeze tighter drawing blood.
“Y/N.”  Klaus says softly.
“Let’s go home.” He asks with pleading eyes and you snap back to reality smelling the iron scent of blood on your hands.
Sometimes you can get carried away feeling the rush of the hunt, a taxing side affect of your power, one you’ve always struggled to control.
Letting the man go he slumps to the ground coughing and sucking in straggled breaths.
“ Alright, me..me and the boys...won’t do nothing....you have my...my word....no bullshit nothing....I swear.”
“Good cause your friends are gonna need more then some stitches.”
You quickly leave the ally and start walking down the street towards the Academy.
Breathing heavily, you look up at Klaus who’s at your side as you start to feel a bit embarrassed that he saw you lose it a little.
He holds onto your arms stopping you, “Don’t worry, we’ll have a bath and watch some movies...hey you like that Museum one?”
“The Night at the Museum.” You say smiling still feeling off.
Klaus’ face lights up, “Yeah that one, with the big T-Rex skeleton and President Roosevelt on a horse.”
He links your arms together and you both begin walking again.
“Y/N, I’m not afraid of you, you know. I never have been, I actually find it pretty sexy of you to beat up bad guys for me and keep the neighborhood safe-er. Ben thinks so too, minus the sexy part of course. Only I get to enjoy that.”
You relax more into his side and once again start to feel a bit more at ease with yourself.
“Oh wait a second, here put these sunglasses on, your eyes are still playing mood rings with us. Don’t wanna freak out the civilians” He laughs.
“Thanks, I did wonder why that kid back there looked like he just saw a ghost.”
Klaus winks, “Maybe he did, cough cough..Ben...cough cough.”
“You’re an ass.” You say while rolling your eyes
“Yes indeed my love but remember I deal with the supernatural of all sorts, from ghosts to monsters, nothing phases me.” Klaus states proudly.
You laugh, “ Okay Van Helsing, this monster wants a bath with her hunter then.”
Klaus kisses your cheek, “That can be arranged my dear.”
Smiling up at him you hold him tighter and think to yourself how weird your life is, but you wouldn’t change it for anything.
- okay wow alright, first story ever I hope it’s good or at least some people like it. It was honestly fun to write ngl.
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mellometal · 3 years
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Hello. This is really what Dhar Mann decided to do...again. Welp, the first video you did about LGBT people in sports was SO good, right? That you decided to make ANOTHER video about LGBT people and fuck that up too??? Real appropriate timing, Dhar Mann. Because it's the end of Pride Month and tomorrow is the start of Wrath Month.
Let's talk about it, shall we?
Before I begin, this will be talking about homophobia, being forced to come out of the closet, blackmailing, and outing of closeted LGBT people. In my response, it touches on assault, murder, execution, abuse, discrimination, fetishization of the LGBT community, harassment, and how being LGBT was once considered a mental illness. If any of that is triggering for you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, please feel free to scroll to other content that sparks joy for you.
To sum up the video, there is a gay boy (Pete) who's running for president (presumably student body) again, he's handing out flyers, and he's having a grand old time. His boyfriend (Julian) is being ever so supportive. To be honest, I've NEVER seen anyone in school handing out flyers to get elected in the student body. A student body, for anyone not familiar, is basically the group that "speaks for the students". Best way I can describe it.
Then some guy (Frank) comes up to him in the hallway to intimidate him...OVER A STUPID SCHOOL ELECTION. The terribly written, sorry excuse for a bully then takes Pete's flyers out of his hands, sees there's a rainbow on them, and calls them gay before throwing them on the ground. That's after Pete told Frank to give them back. Frank then asks if Pete and Julian are dating. Pete, being closeted, says no, and that Julian is his friend. Frank then leaves after intimidating Pete some more. Julian is offended that Pete referred to him as a friend, despite Pete explaining why he did that...y'know, because he's NOT READY TO COME OUT AS GAY and he was trying to protect himself and his boyfriend. (What the fuck did you want him to do, Julian? Come out when he obviously wasn't ready to just to make YOU happy? Pete was trying to protect you and himself, Julian! I understand that you want to be shown off by your boyfriend, but I really think that your safety is more important than being shown off.)
When Pete and Julian are at a restaurant together, Frank JUST SO HAPPENS to be at that same restaurant. Pete and Julian don't know that until later. Frank takes a picture of them just holding hands...which, why would you do that? I've actually seen posts of REAL PEOPLE taking pictures of their classmates (without their knowledge or consent), posting them online, and shipping them together. It's not a good look. It's fucking gross.
Frank tells Pete that he saw them (he and Julian) at the restaurant, shows Pete that he made flyers of the picture HE TOOK OF THEM, and uses it as blackmail. He threatens to out Pete when he already publicly outed him in the fucking hallway, which brings me back to the dumpster fire that is Glee...because Gary Stu (Finn) outed Santana as lesbian in the hallway WITHIN EARSHOT OF EVERYONE. That where you got your inspiration from, Dhar Mann? If so, it's fitting because Glee is a shitty show, and you're a shitty person. A match made in heaven.
Julian notices Pete is distressed. He says he has to drop out of the race because of Frank threatening to out him to the school if he doesn't.
How does the video end? Well, Frank gives his speech that is just D*n*ld Tr*mp type beat bullshit, Pete pretty much says he has to drop out of the race, the students go wild on Frank because he's a homophobe and called another gay student a fruit, Pete forces himself to come out as gay, the students are going wild, and he's elected as the student body president! WHOOP-DEE-FUCKIN-DOO.
This video is an absolute piece of infuriating shit. Enough said. I'll tear this video to shreds and put my response down.
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I get the message they're trying to go for here, but there's a big issue with this! THERE ARE STILL MANY PLACES AROUND THE WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BE ARRESTED AND EVEN EXECUTED FOR BEING LGBT! DHAR MANN, YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT BEING LGBT AND YOU NEVER WILL BECAUSE YOU'RE A CISHET MAN! DO SOME BETTER RESEARCH IF YOU'RE GONNA DO VIDEOS LIKE THIS, OH MY FUCKING GOD! Not everywhere is like the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, Germany, and other countries where it's safe to be openly LGBT! You don't believe me? Look it up! (Obviously at your own risk. There's A LOT of triggering, upsetting things that happen to LGBT people in other countries.) Getting discriminated against, harassed, assaulted, and murdered for being LGBT? Yes, that all still happens around the world. Even in places where being LGBT is legal and not considered a crime. Like the United States!
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Oh, wow! Taking pictures of people without their knowledge just so you can have some "dirt" on them for a stupid student body election. That'll help. /s Blackmailing an innocent person for who they are? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. Good job! How's that working out for you?
Maybe instead of jacking your raging homophobe self off, you worry about the fact you look like and act like D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son and you fix yourself, Frank. Take the log out of your own eye before you try to pull the twig out of someone else's eye. Just a thought!
Also, I could make a better flyer than a picture with a big red x. So creative. I expected more out of D*n*ld Tr*mp's long-lost son. Fucking top tier. You couldn't top this off if you tried! /s
Onto my response! It's a long one, just fair warning.
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If you're in the closet because it's not safe for you to be out as LGBT where you live, you're so valid and I love you. /p Come out on your own terms. Don't fall for peer pressure. For anyone who's been outed before, I'm so sorry, I feel you, and I know what that's like. I've been there before. It sucks. It's scary. I hope you're doing better, if that's ever happened to you.
Dhar Mann, you will NEVER know what it's like to be LGBT. You will never begin to understand what the LGBT community has gone through and is STILL going through. Don't act like you do just because you probably watched one YouTube video about the LGBT community. You're a cishet man who's also a cringe ass nae-nae baby. Why don't you LISTEN to the real people you're hurting with these videos?
Here are a few suggestions you can do instead!:
Talk to actual people in the LGBT community!
Attend pride events to show support.
Read up on their history.
Support LGBT creators.
Donate to the community.
Happy Wrath Month, everyone!
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wulferson · 4 years
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(Ahdgdhs pale king/j)
from this character ask
How I feel about this character
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in all seriousness though - i really think the pale king is a super fascinating character, i really like to sit and just think about him sometimes because i love him but if i ever met him i would not restrain myself from suplexing him into a fucking dumpster instantly
All the people I ship romantically with this character
the white lady i suppose, which is pretty much canon anyways and i mean, it’s clear that he definitely did love her (she has an entire fucking garden from him) but i’m not really sure of what their relationship would be like in a romantic sense based on how i view him - he clearly had ways of showing her he loved her, and she certainly loved him too, but i can’t really imagine they were very soft mushy lovey
My non-romantic OTP for this character
god i don’t even know, aside from the white lady i can’t imagine he really had like, friends or anything. like i’m sure he kept good relations with certain others (the dreamers, for example, and the mantis lords or vespa) but i don’t know if i really have a non-romantic OTP. we all know how he was as a father, and i think deep down he probably cared about the hollow knight (which i gather from the end of the path of pain mostly), but it’s not something he would have actively shown. i just think he was probably very odd about emotion in general (almost robotic i guess for lack of a better term), and he didn’t really try to maintain friendships or relationships further than “acquaintance” or “on good terms” with many bugs because he was more worried about keeping his kingdom alive (which is why he had to have good relations with certain buggos - but not friendships if i had to imagine)
My unpopular opinion about this character
i’m not sure if i have unpopular opinions about the pale king but uhhhhh i don’t think that he and the white lady did the fuckin do to make all those eggs and vessels happen, i think that there was definitely weird wyrm magic involved in that process. it’s very clear he was very into creating things based on his labs and all that, and i don’t think that having children in a completely biological sense would be efficient enough for him considering how desperate he was to seal the radiance (on top of just not really knowing how to be a normal person tbh). idk if that’s unpopular or not but from what i have seen, a lot of people go with “he and the white lady did the do” and i don’t think that’s what went down.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
i don’t think i have anything that i wish would have happened to him except idk maybe grimm shooting him into a garbage can like it’s a basketball hoop or something because that idea is funny to me - but on a serious note i would like to know if he’s for sure still alive since all we get is him/his corpse (probably just the shell) in memories. i like to think he’s still alive though and managed to slink his way out of there at some point.
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fuwafuwamedb · 5 years
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Tricked Into Tea (Mordred, Jekyll, KotRT, Saber Lily)
The first thing that was going to happen was helping her get dressed.
They’d all agreed, after seeing Mordred chatting decently over the intercom with Jekyll, that helping their fellow knight would require placing the woman out of her comfort zone for a while.
“WHERE THE HELL IS MY ARMOR!”
It had taken a lot of time and a few bribes to Merlin to fuck up Mordred’s materializing her armor and destroying her wardrobe. The clothes they’d selected for her instead, inspired greatly by the recommendations of Lady Antoinette, hung politely in Mordred’s closet.
All proper clothing. All dresses.
Mordred looked like she was going to have a vein in her temple burst.
“SOMEONE FIND MY ARMOR! AND MY SWORD!”
Bedivere was unawares, moving into the room and trying to get the naked woman to at least put the clothes in her closet on for now.
“We will all try to help you find your clothing.”
They wouldn’t though.
Lancelot nodded to Gawain.
Tristan nodded to Berserkerlot.
“We need to have Mordred meet with Jekyll now,” their lily version of a king told them all, turning her blonde head their way. “Tristan, Berserker. Please go get Jekyll and tell him that I am hosting a tea gathering.”
They nodded, heading off.
“And we tell Mordred the same?” Gawain asked.
“Tell her that I really want to talk to her about kingdoms.” Saber lily told him.
That was easy enough.
Despite the deep fury in the woman, the news about kingdoms and talking to young Saber was enough to get Mordred to forget her problems for a moment.
“You said she was wanting to do this shit over tea?”
She was grabbing her skirts, heading down the halls.
“MORDRED!” Gawain held up the heels. “YOU FORGOT YOUR SHOES!”
“THOSE FUCKIN’ THINGS NEED A DUMPSTER!”
The woman was already running.
He really hoped that the rest of them weren’t as gullible as Mordred. Still, Gawain motioned to Lancelot.
They hurried along to the other hall, heading to the garden room. They could see Jekyll fixing his jacket a bit as Mordred paused.
“Ah, Sir Mordred,” Jekyll glanced her way, pausing a little. “This is… You look rather remarkable today.”
“Yeah, yeah. I look like shit.”
The man paused.
They all paused with him.
Mordred didn’t do feminine comments. She would get mad if anyone dragged her into this kind of mess. However-
“I think that you look remarkably better than I would. I’m afraid that skirts tend to make my stomach much too pronounced. Turns a man off of snacks immediately. You are terribly lucky to have the benefit of looking as remarkable in your current attire as you do in your armor.”
The woman paused.
Jekyll shrugged, sitting down and pouring a cup of tea. “I had heard that Saber Lily wanted to have company and had invited people to have tea, but it seems the time may have been incorrect. Come join me while we wait.”
“Yeah…” Mordred moved stiffly, settling next to him.
Gawain and Tristan exchanged looks from either sides of the garden room.
It was… It was actually working.
Holy shit.
“Sir Gawain!”
Gawain felt himself jump, falling over loudly as the short blonde peeked into the gardens, grinning.
“Is it working? Are they in love yet?”
“My king… You cannot jump out at your knights like that…”
The woman looked down at him before smiling brightly. “It’s fine if it’s me though, right? You are very loyal to me after all.”
No… she really needed to warn him.
Damn.
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thatfuturekarkat · 6 years
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ITS RANTING TIME KIDS!
FUCK ASSASSINS CREED ORIGINS!
(this whole thing is pretty much copypasted from a rant I went off on on discord)
assassins creed origins is a fucking shite game my god. Taking the whole no level system but better enemies are always around and if you're not good enough to beat them or outplay them, you get bipped, OUT OF THE GAME and stuff a shitty dumpster fire of a leveling system and perk tree A LA FAR CRY 3 (complete with 3 different branches corresponding to different parts. FC3 did it okay, and engaging, unlike AC:O) Where even if you outsmart, ambush, and systematically ruin your enemies, a shiny gold guy one level above you BIPS you in 3 hits because your stealthy assassination had the nerve to barely do a 1/10 damage to his health bar. Yo fuck this game, Im goddamn glad I got it on sale this shit is fucking treason.
not to mention the control scheme got WORSE since the last time I touched a fucking AC game!Fucking games like 3 and HO HO DIDDLY DEE BEING A PIRATE IS ALRIGHT IWTH ME, had solid control systems with the use of hidden blades, countering and parrying and so forth. I could have my fuckin hidden blades out, be sprinting with em, and bip two gooks from behind before engaging his two buddies WITH The blades 2  seconds laterfucking ACO?Fucking ACO you cant even reliably wall assassinate anything let alone take out more than one guy in a tedious poorly handled way. Its a fucking TRAVESTY!! who looked at this dumpster fire of a game, looked BACK at shit like 3 and 4 and thought "This is an improvement!" because they should be shot. 
Fuckin AC3 did their stuff fuckin stellar my god, they tease you with abilities and little things playing as dadman, and then chuck you into the kid, whos DIFFERENT! dad cant climb trees because londoners suck, kid? He's fuckin indianing as fuck climbing trees and shooting bows. instant that kid gets hidden blades he's fuckin stealth kid, and your toolset grows with the fucker! Thats fantastic! Narrative, character, and tool set progression! Its fucking fantastic!!!!
AC4? taking the boat minigame from 3 and blowing it up and out was fucking stellar, the refinement made to the boats and combat was fantastic, even if when you had to DO assassin shit, you'd be bored because youd rather be doing boat shit. But they kept the assassin shit, you know, FUNCTIONAL with a varying and expanding toolkit that felt varied, different, and usefulI mean for fucks sake you can eventually find a pair of swords with GUNS in them and execute fucks that way in open combatACO? You have 4, count em 4! Different types of bows, each doin their own thing with different ways just, being. Speedy shooty, death to the animal kingdom, I shoot 5 arrows and run out 2 seconds later, and Its a sniper bow look at the low ammo count and weep ye sinner.It's a fucking travesty.
A literal fucking travesty how they TORCHED this fucking game. A leveling system where health and damage go hand in hand with level? Not bad IF ITS NOT IN A FUCKING STEALTH GAME! YOU THINK THE DIVISION THE WAY IT IS COULD BE A STEALTH GAME??? FUCK NO. 
Christ in a fucking cockbrick burn Ubisoft, and god have mercy if Odyssey is anything like Origins. 
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