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arteastica · 10 months

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early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (2)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 1.2k

A mellow breeze blew against your face, making your horse’s mane dance freely. Above, the clouds drifted lazily across the blue sky. And beneath them, vast grasslands extended into infinity. Or until wherever the walls allowed them to, for that matter. But if the walls weren’t there and you didn’t know any better, you would be forgiven for thinking you were a character in one of those fairytale books you liked to read as a little girl. But sadly, you knew better, you knew this was no fairytale kingdom, and you also knew that no castle stood at the end of the road, and most definitely no prince on a white horse awaited for you.

The Garrison was the lukewarm option. You tried to rationalize your seemingly impulsive, and potentially deadly, decision. You didn’t like lukewarm. No, actually it wasn’t that you didn’t like lukewarm, it was more like you were physically unable to understand the concept itself. You operated under this strict all-in-or-nothing policy that you were sure would eventually lead to your own demise. But hey, if you were going to die eaten by a titan anyway, you might as well choose the cool way out and die with the wings of freedom attached to your back. They were rather cool. You inspected the hunter green cloak you now wore, and something about the way it blew in the wind pleased you.

But despite the fair weather, you knew it wouldn’t take long for your busy brain to find something that didn’t please you. And sure enough, this time it came in the form of that sinking feeling that seemed to originate in the pit of your stomach every time you tried to imagine what your new lifestyle would be like. You weren’t even there, yet you already felt so inadequate and scant. You dreaded feeling incompetent. You dreaded being perceived as pathetic and useless. And yet you had voluntarily placed yourself in the optimal situation for that to happen.

It also didn’t help that your now fellow soldiers were none other than the top students of the pack. You liked them. They were nice. But it was just too much. Reiner was an absolute unit. Mikasa, a force to be reckoned with. Armin, clever beyond logic. Jean, a natural leader. And Eren, well, the boy was a fucking titan.

You wanted to sigh so deep and so loud to see if it would relieve some of the tightness in your chest. So you did.

“We’re almost there, soldier.” Your superior said along with a reassuring smile, which you tried your best to reciprocate.

And he wasn’t lying. In the distance, nestled in a pine forest, an imposing stone structure started to grow in size as you approached, getting bigger and bigger until you finally reached its gates. And there it stood, rising proudly among the tall trees: The Survey Corps headquarters, and your new home.

It did kind of look like a fairytale castle after all, you thought. Very old, very tall and very…

“Don’t be too impressed” your superior warned “It’s nothing more than an old converted castle. Charming in its way, sure…”

Very charming.

“Okay, everyone, take your horses to the stables and feed them. Then come back and meet me here. We’ll start with the interviews right away.”

Interviews. Great. As if the pit in your stomach needed any more reason to grow larger.

Actually… maybe it was a good thing, you thought. You could be honest and upfront with them from the start and cut the bullshit right and there. No false expectations meant no disappointments awaited farther along the way. And if Erwin Smith’s speech was anything to go by, the scouts seemed to be very upfront about everything. You were a scout now, you might as well do it the scouts’ way.

“Sir, I’m not proficient at hand-to-hand combat and my physical skills are restricted” Very restricted. “I do handle the ODM gear well. And what I mean by ‘well’ is ‘with the steadiness and precision that is expected from a Training Corps graduate so that it can take them from point A to point B without major inconveniences’” this was true, otherwise Shadis would have never let you graduate, and given the fact that you just quoted the exact same words he repeated to you over and over again, you wondered if he would have been proud “my stamina and endurance, however, decline rather quickly.” Very quickly. “Therefore I don’t think I will be of significant assistance out there in the field. Please consider this if and when you are planning to send me out there, as I might get devoured by a titan a mere 5 minutes into the expedition.” You stated in a flat, matter-of-factly manner. “I have been told by my evaluators that my organizational skills are outstanding, and that my academic performance is satisfactory. Please note that this doesn’t necessarily equal intelligence, just responsibility.” That’s why I thought the MP would be the perfect place for me. But saying that would be inappropriate, wouldn’t it?

The two veterans interviewing you stared back at you with underlying suspicion. They must have thought that you were trying to downplay your abilities in order to avoid putting your life at risk. But if they did, then they must have been too polite to tell you because the next thing the man said was “Okay. We also deal with tons of paperwork here. And cleaning, repairing, cooking, tending the horses. You name it.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find something you can help with.” said the woman beside him.

Fair. You thought. This was a big castle. Surely there was something for you to do.

“It’s such an honor to work- no, I’m truly honored to work under you”

The sound of footsteps on solid timber floors echoed in the empty hall along with the lines you had put together the night before. Outside, songbirds had already began to sing their melodies to the beat of the delicate raindrops falling upon the roof.

You had always found peace in that kind of weather. ‘The rain melts all the troubles away’ was something you told an old diary once. But maybe it wasn’t the rain, maybe it was your honest confession from a couple of days ago the one to thank for lightening the burden. After you were done with your interview, it felt as if a building had been lifted off your shoulders. At least partially. But whatever the reason, you realized you hadn’t felt optimistic in days, so the sensation felt as foreign as it was welcome.

You also realized you had done pretty much nothing but complain to yourself since your goal of joining the Military Police proved to be unattainable. And by the second morning in your new home, your pessimistic approach had already started to get old. One of the only perks of getting tired easily, you thought as your featherlight optimism knocked on the solid wood.

“Come in” said a voice you had heard quite a few times in recent days, mostly inside your head.

The blond man sitting at his desk looked up as you announced yourself. And that was the first time icy blue eyes met yours.

next chapter

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vivid-wisp · 3 years

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Friday Night Funkin but I compelled a list of every lore/canon thing confirmed about FNF, specifically story elements said by the devs themselves

DISCLAIMER: YOU CAN TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT IF YOU WANT. Despite the devs confirming things, remember they can obviously change their mind. This list includes minor/semi-important bits, so lore you probably don’t know. “Major” lore most people know won’t be on this. Long post. This includes most if not all canon details the devs have stated on their social medias like Twitter, Twitch, Reddit, etc. These are not personal ideas or headcanons. REBLOGS GREATLY APPREICATED.

Boyfriend

- Hair is naturally cyan, not dyed. He is 19 years old. Boyfriend is a college dropout. He likes just speaking in "beeps and boops" sounds, it's not a language. He has ADHD. He's afraid of lightning.

- Both his parents work in accounting, they also own a dog BF has but can't take care of himself. Not known what dog breed it is.

- He and Hatsune Miku are siblings, and because of this BF is most likely asian specifically Japanese. Miku will be aged up to be the older sibling if she ever gets into the actual game.

- He loves pepperoni pizza from Dominos. Loves donuts the most out all FNF characters.

- Him and Pico are exes. This makes BF apart of the LGBTQ+ community.

- BF is very dumb just like GF. This also means he’s very confident, essentially fearless.

- Boyfriend sucks at FromSoftware games. However he's a really good scout player in Team Fortress 2. He's also likely to say "pog."

- Boyfriend is very good at finger board tricks, it’s one of the reasons he won Girlfriend’s heart.

Girlfriend

- She is 19 years old and afraid of lightning. She’s a demon and is a lot more chilled back than BF, she’s very fearless. She’s taller than BF by a good bit.

- Her favorite soda is Cherry Dr. Pepper and Cheerwine. Her favorite pizza topping is olive.

- GF likes to play video games, her favorite being Tetris.

- GF is extremely dumb just like BF and puts a lot of faith into BF to handle things. She does have emotions, she’s just very chill, aloof, or too dumb to realize. Or all of the above.

- The rest of GF's family aren't famous rapper/singers, just Dad and Mom.

- BF is the “top” but GF lets him be. (Phantom Arcade said this directly)

Daddy Dearest

- Because DD is retired, he gets his income from DMCAing people on Youtube for using his songs and music.

- At some point DD pretends to “accept” BF, which really makes it harder for BF and does more crazy tricks on him. It’s a case of “keeping your friends close and your enemies closer.”

- GF’s dad may have known BF’s dad before.

Skid and Pump

- They get afraid sometimes but not at the right things, like monsters they aren’t afraid but are of natural things like heights. Somewhat similar to BF and GF.

- Skid and Pump were tricked by the Monster to get GF as a “treat” which is why they rap battle BF. When they fail the Monster comes out in the scrapped song for Week 2.

Pico

- He is 20 years old. Pico's School is canon to the Friday Night Funkin' universe. He's depicted having a tooth gap as a kid.

- Pico is a mercenary who was hired by Daddy Dearest to kill BF, he was only given a location and not a picture or name. Turns out BF is actually someone Pico used to know, implied by Phantom as not seeing BF for a long time, possibly years.

- Pico has schizophrenia, likely caused by trauma from Pico’s School, it’s likely the reason he always carries his gun with him as he’s very paranoid of people. He may have more than just schizophrenia.

- Him and BF are exes. He's been described by Tankman/Captain as "sexually ambiguous friend."

- Likes to drink McDonald's Sprite. And just like BF, he's likely to say "pog."

Mommy Mearest/Mommy Must Murder

- Unlike the Dad who is a ex-rockstar, MM is still working her job as a popstar.

- Likes to drink White Claw.

- The Henchmen that appear in the back are actually 5 days old, because they were grown/bottles in jars. They are clones.

Monster/Lemon Monster

- Hijacked Week 5 at the mall after the battle duet with the Dad and Mom, everyone at the mall scattering after Monster’s appearance.

- Tricked the Spooky Kids to get the GF as a “treat” so that it can eat GF and BF.

- The head of Monster is not actually a lemon, it’s just how it’s head is shaped.

- Is able to twist perception, presumably why after the hijack by Monster everything looked gorey and twisted.

Senpai/Spirit

- Senpai is just an AI in the game while Spirit is a completely separate entity from Senpai, who is self aware and is related to the real world.

- Senpai is used to being loved and admired, so when he’s not loved and doesn’t get his way he becomes a jerk. Senpai is a pathetic sore loser, that’s why he got angry after he lost to BF.

- GF used to play the Hating Simulator game all the time when she was younger like 8 years old and liked Senpai, but after being sucked into the game with BF and seeing how Senpai acted she doesn’t like Senpai and dislikes him.

- Spirit was trapped inside the character Senpai, Senpai is not being controlled by the Spirit. Senpai still acts as himself.

- The Spirit was trapped inside the game by the Dad, meaning there’s history of the GF’s dad having past relationships with other people.

- Senpai was originally a teacher and designed as one, but was later changed.

Ritz

- Ritz and BF are canonically brothers, in the sense of a "Stuart Little" situation. So adopted in a way.

- Ritz skateboards to travel sometimes.

Tankman/Captain

- The war area that Tankman and his men are on is a military base that BF and GF trespassed on, unlike the apocalyptic setting in the original Tankmen series.

- The Captain doesn’t actually know Pico, BF, or GF which make the assumptions he says “don’t you have a school to shoot up” and “no prom for you this year” false. He just says them because he’s an jerk.

Miscellaneous

- Every "week" takes place on a Friday.

- Week 2 happens after Week 4. And Week 6 happens after Week 5 or Week 2. This may be changed in the future.

- The characters' birthdays are on November 1st since that's when the game came out, not specified if it's just 1 or multiple characters' birthdays.

- Everyone's favorite fast food is Arby's. (Ninjamuffin however says he's only saying this since he wants to be promoted by them on Twitter)

- Yes Boyfriend and Girlfriend are their canon names, not Keith.

- Week 5 happens because BF takes GF on a date to visit Santa for Christmas, but the parents show up to ruin everything. Mall Santa is dead if you “game over” in Week 5.

- Week 7 happens because GF’s parents sent BF and GF on a “vacation” which was to crash a plane to kill BF, knowing GF would be fine. They land/crash near military zone which GF’s parents didn’t know or intended. Pico shows up because he was sent to “fetch the corpse” of BF, he didn’t kill BF obviously and is now in deep shit from GF’s parents after messing up his job twice.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fnf boyfriend #fnf pico #fnf girlfriend #fnf skid and pump #fnf monster #tankman #fnf senpai #daddy dearest #mommy mearest #i went through a lot of digging for this mostly as a note for myself but youre totally free to use this too since these Are in fact canon :#i fact checked everything guys this took so long everything here is literally canon #this post has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS #long post

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alternislatronemhq · 4 years

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Congrats, ELLIE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of SEVERUS SNAPE (FC: aneurin barnard). HOLY CRAPOLY, ELLIE! This app was absolutely fantastic! I couldn’t pull myself away from reading it and was just seriously BLOWN AWAY. This is everything I ever could have dreamed for in a portrayal for a character as central to the plot as Severus is! You truly have a gift and I’m so excited you’re here! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — ellie. age — 20+ pronouns — she/her. timezone — GMT. activity level — i’m not a very fast writer tbh, but i don’t have any other hobbies or rl obligations to keep me from rp atm so i should be able to maintain more than 3 paras a week.

IC Overview

name — severus tobias snape. faceclaim — aneurin barnard, louis garrel, richard harmon. age — 26. gender — cis male.

sexuality — demisexual, biromantic. He lacks the terminology for it, and simply regards sex as yet another social endeavor for which he is ill-equipped.

patronus — doe. yes, it still works. no, he doesn’t understand why or how. he is most certainly not pure of heart. the memory he calls on to summon the patronus is his first dinner with the evans family, where mrs. evans piled his plate high with steak and mashed potatoes and peas, and lily snuck her broccoli onto his plate discreetly while trying not to make a face, and petunia was spending the night at a friend’s house across the street and too far away to ruin the lighthearted atmosphere. they joked and laughed and cleaned the dishes afterwards. it was the first proper family dinner he’s had in his life.

boggart — voldemort. Not, specifically, for the man himself although he is a rather striking figure on his own – but rather for what the man represents to snape. Voldemort represents how far snape’s ambition and thirst for power and knowledge will take him if left unchecked. He represents a hungry and gaping and greedy part of snape that will take and take and take, and grow hungrier and greedier still, uncaring. Losing control in such a manner – allowing himself to be led astray by a mad man and his mad men, doing their bidding and spreading pain and grief and loss, thinking himself so righteous and vindicated – the worst parts of himself, unvarnished, laid bare for him to see. Snape has long since discarded any illusions of himself he may have entertained before the war. He knows the parts that make him up. He knows what he does and why he does it. He knows how far he will go without an anchor — and he fears being unmoored and unrestrained most of all. Fears what he will allow himself to do, without a pragmatic set of rules and ethics to keep him in line.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+Loyal: snape’s loyalty is difficult to earn, but impossible to lose. He has a thorough, comprehensive, all-or-nothing approach towards loyalty. You either have it or you don’t. All of him or none of him. He will give you his soul – his strength, his work, his honour, his dignity, his life, his word – or he will give you nothing. Thus far, the only people who have earned his loyalty are lily evans and albus dumbledore.

+Sharp: snape is clever and perceptive, his intelligence owed in large due to the many hours spent in his mother’s company as a child, listening to her stories and her theories and her careful instruction. She was not a pleasant woman, nor a kind mother, but she taught him the power of knowledge at a young age, and the sharp glint of intelligence in his eyes matched hers.

+Hardworking: say what you will about snape’s character flaws – of which he has plenty, and of which there is quite a lot to say – but his work ethic has always been and will always be impeccable, beyond reproach. He never does things by half. He is a hard worker who spares no efforts once he sets his mind to a task.

-Antagonistic: he holds firm to an unpleasant disposition and hostile countenance. It is his nature to be wary and suspicious and to hold others in low esteem until proven wrong. Snape takes most attempts at social interaction with a grain of salt, expecting mockery and insolence and responding swiftly in kind.

-Bitter: snape’s biggest motivator is spite. He’s a man of well-groomed grudges, what can he say? growing up in poverty with a bitter mother and an unpleasant father, both of whom were uncreative in how they let out their frustrations and rather liberal in tossing about blame for everything that had gone wrong in their lives, had left him with quite an armful of ill-advised coping methods and a less than stellar personality overall.

-Selfish: it’s not that he’s incapable of love and affection. He is demonstrably and regrettably capable of both. He has, as well, displayed a certain capacity for selfless action when it came to his precious few loved ones. Sometimes. But, well. Well. It’s not his default. He spent many years with his head firmly stuck up his ass, seeing and caring about nothing but his own interests and his own ambitions and dreams finally being realized — and nearly lost the only thing in his rather pathetic life that held any meaning whatsoever. And he is still selfish by nature. Even in the years since he’d come to dumbledore to yet again pledge his allegiance to yet another all powerful and all conniving old wizard – the irony of which was not lost on him, not for a moment, rest assured – selflessness is still an installed feature that he must think consciously of before implementing. And, most of the time, it is not something he chooses to do.

-Deceptive: if snape was the sort to keep count of such things – and, as a spy, he most assuredly is – he would truthfully disclose that, in every relationship he’s built in his life since he was old enough for hogwarts, there is a layer of deception that must be adhered to at all times. An intermingling web of lies and half truths and omissions that must be observed with careful attention, lest the whole thing unravel and spill out his doom. He’s a spy. At least now it’s become part and parcel of who he is. At least, he now has a quasi-noble purpose to attach to the rather sticky threads of which he is – secretly – fond. He can admit, if only to himself, that he doesn’t know how to build a relationship without some form of deception to maintain throughout.

character biography —

PROLOGUE.

he stands on his tiptoes over the wooden chair, stirring with the ladle in both hands. clockwise, clockwise, counter-clockwise…. let the ladle rest against the side of the cauldron for thirty seconds. the liquid is two shades off. he adds a pinch of powder, and the color adjusts.

mam’s sharp eyes follow his every move. she nods, stiffly. tension uncoils from his shoulders. “when you get to hogwarts,” she says, brusque, “you’ll be at the top of your class.”

it’s not explicit praise, told more like a command, really, but it’s close enough. emboldened, he asks, “will i ‘ave friends at ‘ogwarts?” he looks up. watches. “lots and lots o’ friends?”

mam blinks. the silence stretches. she pats his head, drops her hand down to his shoulder. “of course, sev. lots and lots. now help me pack everything away before your dad comes home.”

ACT I.

can a place be both hell and home?

well, if it can be — if it’s possible to love and hate a place with equal intensity, if it’s possible to feel like a jigsaw puzzle slotting into place at last and still look over your shoulder and jump at every sound — if it is, then to severus, hogwarts was that place. the home that was unsafe, the home with danger at every corner, the home with no way out. no way out but through.

it’s not s’pposed to be like this, he’d thought, eleven and still a touch naive. this can’t be right. but what did he know about homes and safety, anyway? was Spinner’s End not the same, except smaller and with less magic? did he not look over his shoulder and watch his every step just the same?

being a halfblood matters, more than he thought it would. and being a slytherin matters, but not in the way he’d thought. a poor, dirty, halfblood slytherin with a nasty attitude and an uncouth accent stood out like a rotten stink. hogwarts was magical and whimsical, but it was just a place, just like any other, and the students were just students, and the bullies were just bullies. and sev was still sev, wand or no wand. hogwarts did not fix him and make him better. it did not give him friends on a silver platter.

what it gave him, instead, was knowledge. yes, he spent years the target of relentless bullying, made more enemies than friends and few acquaintances who were in between, but the library was his home. He devoured knowledge with a single-minded intensity, filled with such joy at learning new concepts and spells that it made everything else he had to put up with worth the effort. He badgered his teachers relentlessly with increasingly complex questions, and often times concerning lines of inquiry, and experimented with new spells and potions early on — first with lily, then without — filling notebooks with ideas and information and half formed thoughts. At the age of thirteen, he’d begun working on his own grimoire, writing down his own potions recipes and his modifications to existing potions. All the great potions masters have their own grimoires, why shouldn’t he start his own now?

He isn’t sure when his views began to shift. Somewhere along the way, the facade he’d put on for his housemates began to seep through the cracks and into the boy underneath. it became so much easier to hate muggles and then muggleborns, to blame them for everything that went wrong in his life, to use this hatred as an outlet for all his frustrations he already had with his own life.

By the time the dark lord called, severus was well and truly indoctrinated. It didn’t take much to convince himself that this was the right thing to do.

ACT II.

He takes the mark.

Things… escalate.

They ask him to do terrible things, and he does them fastidiously. He does not feel satisfaction or pleasure when killing and torturing, though he hardly lets that stop him from doing exactly as he’s instructed, to the letter, and sometimes beyond. Vying for the attention and approval of the man who held his soul in the palm of his hand, indifferent to it’s fate, careless in his handling unless the little halfblood proved himself useful. And he did. He proved himself clever, gifted, loyal, ruthless. He worked hard to earn his place, knowing the alternative.

It’s not like he doesn’t know he’s in a genocidal cult. At some point, even the most indoctrinated could see what this was. The dark lord wanted servants to do his bidding, not allies to share in the glory and the power. The dark lord was strikingly clever, imposing and powerful, and stark raving mad.

But severus was marked. He couldn’t put himself at risk, couldn’t think of stepping out of line with his master’s mark upon his arm. The only way out was through.

severus was thorough. he followed instructions to completion, with a single minded focus. he did his work with a professional detachment, a nonbeliever in the guise of a devotee.

And then, he came upon a prophecy.

ACT III.

The dark lord’s fall is a gift that severus doesn’t know what to do with. He’d spent so long treading a worn thread like a tightrope over the brink of hell itself, that the thought of letting his guard down for even a moment sends his every sense screaming DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

He feels like a man who’s been running full pelt, nonstop, like he was running his whole life and suddenly the ground is pulled from beneath him and he’s free-falling into nothingness. Lily is safe. Unhappy, but alive, and for that he is more grateful than he could’ve ever imagined.

But he is alive, too. And for all his plots and schemes, it didn’t occur to him that he’d make it to the other end of this war in one piece. Not since he turned spy.

The question mark hangs over his head all the way through the chaos following the dark lord’s fall. Severus, sitting through trial after trial, feels as though his ears are stuffed full of cotton and his senses are veiled through with fog. Only in the aftermath of his own trial, when dumbledore rests a hand upon his shoulder and grants him a proud smile does severus begin to hope.

Dumbledore saves him. He gives him a home, a job, a purpose. He guides him through the darkest hour of his life.

Even through the fog, Severus can see it: the headmaster’s true intentions. He knows he must be of some use to the headmaster still, that dumbledore is simply working to gain his true loyalty. That all severus had really done on that stormy night was trade one master for another.

But dumbledore, for all his machinations, is still a good man. There are worse masters to grovel to, as he very well knows. And lily is safe, just as promised. It’s only right that severus pay back his due.

ACT IV.

Once he finds his footing, severus gets busy. He integrates himself with the remaining loyal death eaters as seamlessly as possible, works to maintain at least civil relationships with high ranking order members — with a few notable exceptions — and begins to, brick by brick, build his life from the ground up.

The following years are filled with quiet self reflection. Severus grows more critical of himself, of his actions, of his beliefs. He pulls apart his motives and his reasons for joining the dark lord, inspects his role in the war unsympathetically, the impact he’s had on the lives of others. He does not like what he sees. but he does not look away.

He’s created violent and dark spells for the dark lord during his service. Spells with no counter, or a secret one. Spells the death eaters all knew and used. If he had died in the war as he’d come to expect to, these spells would’ve been his only legacy. His only contribution to the wizarding world. unparalleled violence.

This is who he is. This is what he’s done. He cannot undo it, he cannot be forgiven. but he can strive to be… better. And he does.

beyond the waiting and watching and listening, severus shifts the bulk of his focus upon his work. He creates and tests potions with the needs of the wizarding community in mind, puts his brilliance to good use. He follows a strict code of ethics, to the letter, holds himself to task when it is not properly adhered to. He takes responsibility for the things he releases into the world. He builds himself a respectable reputation in his fields of study, his articles and discoveries published in peer-reviewed journals and papers, his work talked about in academic circles with something like respect.

As the whispers spread and the death eaters prepare for their next move, severus shifts to a ready stance. He has more to fight for — more to live for, now — than he had five years ago. He is ready.

plot ideas —

oh, god, i’m SO excited to explore what snape post-war would’ve been like if he didn’t lose lily. what happened in the books is that lily’s death and his role in it sent him down a spiral of self loathing, guilt, and suicide ideation – and he wallowed in his grief and his guilt for the rest of his life. the trajectory of his life after lily’s death shifted to protecting her son and serving dumbledore. he stopped thinking of his own ends and started viewing himself as a means to an end, that end being the physical safety of lily’s boy (disregarding, of course, the mental wellbeing of potter’s spawn) and while there was growth in his own views over the years i can’t help but think it was greatly stunted by his own grief.

what i want to explore with snape is growth. realistic, nonlinear, steady growth over the years after the war, where he becomes more critical of both himself, his motives, his thinking, and the impact of his actions on other people and the world. he grew up a precocious child with no proper adult guidance, and all his life lessons he’s learned through first hand experience. and like any other 17-year-old, he thought he knew everything. He was reckless and arrogant, and he made terrible choices confidently, with no regard to the greater consequences. post-war snape is painfully aware of his own shortcomings, is trying to be better, not for the sake of being a good person but for the sake of proper self discipline and self control. he never wants to lose control of himself and allow his ambitions and his greed to take him to such lengths again. he wants to have a more positive impact on the world around him, even if he himself is still an objectively bad person, even if he himself is still selfish and deceptive and eaten up by greed.

so how can a bad person be good? by doing good things, even if he’s doing it for the wrong reasons. and snape is doing it for the wrong reasons, he’s well aware of that. He doesn’t have the intuitive grasp of right and wrong that lily always had. He can’t simply do what feels right, as that never turned out to be the right thing at all. Instead, he does what he calculates as having the most positive impact on the biggest number of people, regardless of whether or not it feels right to him. He acts in the interests of the greater good.

It’s a very utilitarian approach. Not dissimilar to dumbledore, who took snape in after the war and was more or less his mentor figure the years following. but unlike dumbledore, snape does not disregard or dismiss the individual lives of people he comes across, is very mindful of his own personal impact in the individual lives of the people around him. in canon, snape is horrified at dumbledore’s plan for harry. dumbledore asks him how many men and women he’s watched die, and snape’s response to that is ‘lately, only those whom i could not save.’ this interaction perfectly encapsulates the differences in morality between the two men. snape is capable of making sacrifices for the greater good and strives to work towards ending the war, making moral compromises towards that end. but his faith in the greater good is limited. When it comes down to it, snape is loyal to people, not causes. And often, since he’s made the conscious decision to become a better person, risks his life for the sake of others.

Another thing i want to explore with snape is his interpersonal relationships. Because, god. Come onnnnnnnnn. His two best friends are lily evans and lucius malfoy. For fucks sake. Lily who cut ties with him when they were 16 and whose husband he is partially responsible for sending to an indefinite coma, yikes, and lucius, for whom he feels the most straightforward affection and who he’s actually quite prepared to stab in the back when the time comes. And it will come, soon enough.

He has….. Complicated relationships. And complicated views on intimacy. He has a tendency to separate his feelings from his duty, which sometimes leads to him doing terrible things to people he cares about. Lying, stealing, manipulating, etc etc etc. it does not mean, to him, that he cares about these people any less. Regrettably, he cares too much, and can’t stop caring once he starts. It does not mean the people he cares about are safe with him. And i want to explore that, especially in his relationships with lily and lucius, as well as his fellow death eaters.

Speaking of the death eaters. Snape was already a high ranking death eater before the dark lord fell, and he’d worked very hard the last five years to integrate himself irrevocably within the ranks of the remaining death eaters. He’d observed their dynamics and worked to make himself seem as loyal and irreplaceable as can be. No doubt he formed many a bond with many a member, not all of them built on lies. And he would take special interest in the hesitant, wavering loyalties, poking and prodding to see how he can use them to further his own position within the death eaters ranks. There’s a lot of potential for inner-politics and sabotage within the DE.

extra —

Mockblog @ sevsnpe.tumblr.com

headcanons:

Snape had a thick manchester accent growing up that was very quickly packed away and replaced with ‘respectable speech’ a few weeks into his stay in the snake pit. When he’s angry or emotional he speaks very slowly and deliberately, his voice dropping in octaves and growing very soft and precise. it becomes very difficult for him to keep control of his speech. He slips on occasion when he and lily are alone.

Eileen sold wonderful ailment-soothing ‘tea’ for her neighbours. severus helped her brew these concoctions regularly as a kid, when he was still too short to reach the tabletop without standing on a chair.

Snape looks up to dumbledore and seeks his approval. It infuriates him to no end, that so much of his own decision-making hinges on the older man’s opinion of him, that he cares what albus thinks of him at all. But after the dark lord’s fall, snape was lost and fumbling, trying to make sense of the world, of himself, of his next steps. He desperately wanted to be a better man, but had neither the tools nor the guidance to do so. if albus hadn’t taken him under his wing, he doesn’t know where he’d be now.

he’s a heavy smoker. he picked up smoking post-war and is not in any hurry to quit. he can stop whenever he wants to anyway.

he maintains a private library in his rooms at hogwarts. he’s as possessive of it and as territorial as a dog. he’s accumulated a very impressive collection of rare books and journals over the years, and a long list of contacts in the private book collectors and book sellers circles to go with. a disproportionate number of his books are highly illegal and officially labelled ‘dark’.

the bulk of his focus, after the war, is split between two things. integrating himself further into the remaining circle of death eaters, and his own personal research into the mind arts, potions, and dark magic, which he conducts in his capacity as potions master and professor at hogwarts. he’s made several discoveries in potions study and published multiple articles in academic journals over the last five years, building himself a respectable reputation and body of works within his field. beyond the fact that such academic pursuits are his passion, his work gives him tangible proof that he is capable of positive contributions to the world around him. that he is capable of doing good, even if he himself is a bad person. his work and his growing reputation gives him something to look forward to after the war. it’s something unrelated to the death eaters and to lily, it’s something completely his own. he is very defensive and protective of his research.

Once or twice a month, snape visits muggle london and spends a few hours in a public library. It’s calming, reading books to simply pass the time. He won’t admit this to anyone, but the connection he has to the muggle world is something he’s learned to accept and even take comfort in from time to time.

#al:accepted #severus snape #harry potter rp #hp rp #marauders era rp

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medea10 · 5 years

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Medea Rambles: Ash’s 1st Meaningful Victory (because nothing else counts according to the internet)

Oh for God’s sake, Medea! Literally, nothing better to talk about!

You just finished four animes today alone and must work on reviews. There’s a whistle-blower causing major havoc at the White House. Your birthday is tomorrow! Why must you poo-poo on Ash’s victory?

Because bitching at things makes me whole. Especially if it’s Pokemon related!

Because after five days of watching the internet lose its fucking mind over Ash winning the Alolan League and glaring at post after post of people bypassing or insulting or simply saying “it doesn’t count” to one of my favorite battles, I feel like ripping a new asshole in several places.

But first, DISCLAIMER!

Be warned, yes this is my own personal opinion on this matter. Some people believe the exact opposite of me and that’s fine. Your opinion is noted and I think you’re trash. Take what I say with a heap of salt. Because I’m definitely in the minority. So here we go!

So on Sunday, September 15th, 2019, our boy Ash Ketchum finally did it. He did what he couldn’t do in the past 22 years. Something we only saw some mystery guy in Kanto, a random fuckboy from Johto, a dude with Meowth in Boots in Hoenn, a troll from Sinnoh, an Eevee-hoarder from Unova, and a dickhead in Kalos accomplish up to this point.

HE. WON. THE POKEMON LEAGUE!

Not since the infamous kiss of Yuri and Viktor from Yuri On Ice or the 19th episode of Demon Slayer or Myne about to be executed in The Rising of the Shield Hero have I seen such a magnitude of people losing their shit about anime. It was so crazy that Ash Ketchum was trending at #1 the entire day, news outlets like BBC and CNN were writing articles about this accomplishment, and yes, special outpouring from fans and relations alike.

Seriously, you all should read Rica Matsumoto’s interview and watch the video Veronica Taylor put out.

But I just can’t help but be bitchy about certain things people keep saying. It’s like a drill to a tooth it’s that annoying. First of all, just because he won a single championship, does not make him a “Pokemon Master”. And secondly, there was a league that Ash won 20 years prior to this victory. It’s called the Orange League.

Yes, I know. I’ve heard it all. “That’s not a real league because it was never in the manga and games. This was just a filler arc to prepare us for Johto so it’s nothing in the eyes of Arceus. The Orange Islands are a distant memory and Alola is doing everything right that your little arc couldn’t do. Screw your cherished memories! The Orange Islands aren’t even mentioned in the latest Pokemon Guidebook. They’re nothing! HARHARHARHAR”

Let me catch my breath before I threaten every fuckface that said any such thing with a punch to the throat.

Just because it wasn’t in the manga or games doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. Since when do you people hold that into account? Ash is absolutely NOT from the Pokemon Adventures manga (other manga, that’s a given) and definitely not a game character. A lot of things exist in the anime that don’t in the manga and games. And that includes characters too! Y’all remember Paul, right?

I seriously don’t get the likability of this guy. I personally find him as pleasant as renal failure. But the fanbase for this little shit is out of this world in the Pokemon fandom. And hey, guess what?! Paul is an anime-exclusive character? So should his fighting with Ash be illegitimate? Fuck no, what idiot would want that?! Right!

Add to that, the Pokemon Leagues have a different setup than they do in the manga and games. I don’t recall having to go through the top-tier system in any of the games to become champion of a region. You fight a bunch of Ace Trainers on Victory Road to level up so you can go up against the Elite Four and then take on the champion. The anime, you fight against other trainers who won the correct amount of badges needed to enter the league and knock each other out in pokemon battles.

I would always imagine that if Ash would win a championship from one of these leagues, that he would then go on to fight against the Elite Four and then Champion. But silly me for thinking such a thing could ever happen. That would have been so awesome to see in Sinnoh or Kalos! But I digress. Many things are different from the anime. Those stupid Princess (fuck I can’t remember what they’re called) that Serena was in weren’t in any other form. But people still worship the little princess and her stupid shenanigans like it’s going out of style.

In short, Orange Islands should not be written off just because it was never part of the manga or games!

Now onto those who say that because it’s from a filler arc this victory should not count as well. Or saying that because it’s different, it’s an illegitimate league and it doesn’t count. Who the fuck are you to say that? Was there a lost episode where some old crone comes and says the Orange League doesn’t count? NO. THERE WAS NOT. Now, I can’t recall if the creators/writers themselves have said anything on the matter. But until I see that, I’m just going to say this simple thing.

The word, “LEAGUE” is in the fucking title. Ash fought in the Orange LEAGUE and fucking won. Ash won a LEAGUE in 1999. There.

Now I admit, the Orange Island gyms were very different in terms of pokemon battles and even the league as well when compared to every other league up to this point. Some were a little hit-and-miss in the pay-off, but some were absolutely epic. Again, the Orange Islands gave us things you miscreants take for granted including region variant pokemon and double battles. That’s right, first official double battle was in the Orange Islands. Suck it!

But I think it’s because for the Orange League, it was only a two-episode saga and Ash was only battling one guy. Hey, don’t write that off! In case you hadn’t realized, that was also Ash’s very first six-on-six battle. And he fought against a champion who has a Dragonite with a total of 10 moves. So imagine all three Dragonites Lance uses in the Gold/Silver games and combine that into one Dragonite. The fact that Ash was able to win this particular battle astounds me to this day. I mean, if it was his Sinnoh or Kalos team, fuck yeah. But this was his early years with pre-evolved pokemon like Pikachu, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle.

Then again, Ash’s Alolan team wasn’t any better. I don’t think I should bring up that travesty you call a battle against Hau, do you? No. Let’s not!

Another overlooked victory of Ash’s was when Ash obtained all seven symbols from the Battle Frontier. Yeah, I can understand that since this was sort of filler between Hoenn and Sinnoh and there wasn’t an actual league. But can you all fully admit that you were able to defeat all of the Battle Frontier Brains in Pokemon Emerald? WITHOUT CHEATING OR USING A GAME SHARK?! Yes, Ash did that. And yes, he had to do several rematches when it came to battles against Anabel and Brandon, but he still managed to take down everyone. Yes, even Brandon with his legendary Regi-trio! Just because this was not an actual championship, doesn’t make it any less. He was offered a chance to become a Frontier Brain, but declined to do more traveling.

What I want to say is that the Orange League and the Battle Frontier shouldn’t be thrown in the trash just because they’re “different” from the status-quo pokemon league.

And as for Ash winning the league, I’m glad he finally won after such a long time. I mean, even if you did count the Orange League or Battle Frontier, it’s been a long time. I just really feel conflicted because it was THIS league that he won. Not the league where he and his Infernape proved to their rival that they are not pathetic. Not the league where he masters synchronization. This one.

The saga where he looks like Luffy’s idiot cousin. The saga where he doesn’t even have a full team. And to even come from the same league where he almost loses the whole match for putting all his faith in an insomniac birdo.

Fine, if I just ignore that match and pretend it never happened, Ash’s league matches were really good. He was able to take out the undefeatable Guzma and kicked Faba’s ass one more time just for good measure. And even though the finale was just a measly three-on-three (yeah, I’m a snob like that), Ash vs. Gladion was downright epic. Especially Lycanroc vs. Lycanroc. Give credit where credit is due.

I just ask you do the same for other victories.

BTW, Ash vs. Paul is still the best league battle. I’m just saying.

This has been Medea...and time to watch my yearly odometer roll over.

#pokemon #Ash Ketchum #alola #sinnoh #orange islands

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