#TheWindDidItIPromise

[not-glorfindel-stop-asking]

You have 30 seconds to prepare a formal excuse for why Elrond's favorite vase is now in four pieces. What’s the most convincing lie you can come up with?

—Gasp—

WHAT DID YOU DO TO LORD ELROND'S FAVORITE VASE?!

No, no—don’t tell me. Let me guess. A tragic tale, surely. One of heroism, sacrifice, and utter calamity. After all, there is no other explanation for such a heinous crime.

Very well. Here is the official statement you could use:

"Dearest Lord Elrond, Keeper of Imladris, Loremaster of the West, whose taste in décor is impeccable and whose collection of priceless vases inspires awe:

It is with the deepest regret and profound sorrow that I must inform you of a most unfortunate incident.

You see, a sudden breeze—yes, a mighty gale—swept through the Hall of Fire. Strange, truly, for Rivendell is shielded by mountains, but perhaps Manwë himself wished to inspect your fine collection. In my heroic attempt to close the window and protect your treasured belongings, I stumbled—nay, was thrust—into the pedestal.

In that fateful moment, Eredin (Maker of Cocoa, Bringer of Chaos) tried to catch me—but alas! His hands were full of pastries. Lady Arwen gasped. Glorfindel dove across the room but slipped on his own hair. A tragedy unlike any other.

And thus, the vase—your favorite—descended in slow motion, shattering upon impact with a sound so heartbreaking the birds fell silent. The waterfall ceased its flow out of sheer respect. I believe even the stars dimmed.

...But, if I may, the vase now has four pieces—perfectly balanced, as all things should be. Perhaps it is not broken but rather... modern art? Symbolic of the fragile nature of beauty?

With deepest apologies and a hopeful heart,

Then your name, dear Anon."

Truly, Lord Elrond, a visionary, could surely appreciate this formal apology.

Lindir of Rivendell—Innocent Bystander, Accidental Art Curator, and Survivor of the Great Vase Tragedy.