#Thena sees out the rest of her shift wearing Gil's hoodie

[softquietsteadylove]

For the Thenamesh Doctor AU:

Thena looses unexpectedly a patient! And the only one who she needs is our beloved Gil

"No."

"Thena."

"No!" she snarls, fighting as Kingo tries to pull her to her feet--off the patient she's been trying to get back for nearly ten minutes. "He was fine!"

"T, come on," he says gently, reaching for her again.

"Dammit," she hisses, watching the colour of her patient's skin just get worse and worse. Some hair slips into her field of vision. "Check his eyes."

Ajak obeys, kneeling down and pulling his eyelids up. Completely bloodshot and nonresponsive--it's hemorrhagic shock, for sure. Ajak gives her a look, "Thena."

"Fuck!" she leans back, arms burning, lungs ice cold. She looks at her patient, to Ajak and Kingo and a few others gathered around. She looks at the clock, "time of death, 12:37."

The crowd parts for her, in no rush to try and get in the way of her temper. She snaps her gloves off and bins them as she storms through the hallways.

He was just a man in for a scare--a little murmur in his pacemaker that made his wife worry. He was nice; they talked about how he met his wife and how to make the best grilled cheese. He was a sweet man.

Thena walks into the on-call room and throws the door closed behind her. She runs her hands over her hair, pushing back the piece that's escaped. "Out."

The door never was able to close, stopped by a foot and letting in one other person who closed it gently. "Hey."

"Out, Gil," she repeats, but it has no real bite to it. She's not very good at snapping at him for real.

He already knows, whether it's from passing it in the hallway or just by looking at her. But he walks over to her, already poised to take her into his arms, "c'mere."

Thena just barely lets him pull her against him. She's stiff, at first, still trying to hold it in. She's not exactly done her shift, and they're going to come and get her any minute, she's sure.

"I've got you," Gil whispers as he encircles her in his arms and presses his cheek to the top of her head.

Thena turns her head, letting herself bury her face in his chest. He's so warm, and so soft, and he smells more like home than her apartment ever could.

Gil whispers sweet nothings as she breaks down in his arms, pressing her sobs into his chest. He rubs her back as she trembles against him. She's been doing this for a long time, she's no stranger to what this work is like. But if she's taking it this hard, then she actually liked the guy. Poor thing.

Thena turns her head against him, just enough to breathe. Her eyes sting and she can't see shit. Her breathing is erratic and she feels like she's freezing cold. Gil wraps his hoodie around her with his hands in the pockets. "It's not fair."

"It's not."

"He came in to be cautious," she snivels, wrapping her arms around the back of him and clutching at his shirt. He's so warm. "He came in so his wife wouldn't worry--it's not fair."

"I know."

She's done trying to reason it out. It's never going to get less unfair. She sighs, letting out whatever she has left in the tank.

Gil kisses the top of her head, swaying them faintly on their feet, "I'm sorry, Thena."

She closes her eyes, trying to let Gil's heartbeat drown out reality. "I have to call his wife."

"I know." That part is always the hardest. Harder than even losing them, trying to resuscitate their poor hearts. "Let me go with you."

"No," she practically whines as she pulls away from him. Back into the cold waters of reality she goes, wrapping her arms around herself. Gil is so warm, and the usually ambient hospital feels like the tundra to her now. "I should do it alone."

"You don't have to, though."

Thena lifts her head just enough to look at him. Neither of them is a stranger to hard days. He's also had his days when he wonders what they could have done differently--a single step they could have taken that would have kept someone alive.

"Hey," he whispers, leaning down and pressing a kiss at the corner of her lips. "I'm here if you need me."

She nods. She can't say anything now--talking requires thinking, and she needs all her autopilot skills to get through the rest of the next five hours.

Gil gives her shoulder one last squeeze before heading out into the hall. "Uh... "

The chill she was feeling sinks even deeper into her bones. Thena walks to his side, having already guessed what he was seeing.

The patient's wife is here, holding a sandwich and a bottle of water and weeping. This couldn't get worse. Thena squeezes past Gil and walks toward the poor woman, refusing to perceive the tears in her eyes. "Missus Langford?"

"Wh-Where's-"

"Why don't we sit down?"

Thena looks up as Gil guides the woman towards the far corner of the waiting area. It's not ideal, but they don't want her on her feet when she gets the news. She should have known he wasn't going to let her do this alone.

"Is everything okay?" the poor woman looks between them desperately.

Thena tries to get it out--she really does. But the woman takes one look at her face and crumbles into tears. "I-I'm so sorry, Missus Langford. Y-Your husband...he suffered a blood clot. He-"

"No," the woman sobs, her face contorting as grief takes her in its arms. "No, please!"

Thena's throat clamps tight. The smell of the homemade grilled cheese reaches her nose and she wants to throw up.

Gil leans over from his seat on the other side of her, "I'm sorry, Missus Langford. We did all we could, but I'm afraid...your husband passed very quickly."

"No!"

Thena turns away as Gil rubs the poor woman's arm. He's the better person for the job, anyway. She's not that good at comforting people. He looks at her and she swipes her tears away. The families can never see you break--if you can get a single thing right, it's don't let them see you break. She sniffles, "he was a very sweet man, Missus Langford. He told me all about you."

"H-He did?"

Thena nods, blinking through more tears, letting them obscure her vision of the older woman. "I got to talk with him during his examination. He told me about how you met at the movies."

The woman just starts crying even harder. Thena flinches but when she looks at Gil he nods for her to keep going. She shakes her head abut he nods even harder. She sighs; he's the comforting expert.

"H-He, um, told me about using mayo for grilled cheeses," Thena mumbles, trying to ignore the wax wrapped sandwich in the woman's lap.

"They-" she sniffles and laughs all at once, "they were his favourite."

Thena manages a smile and nods at the woman.

"I, um," Missus Langford presses her palms to her eyes and collects her purse. "I-I have to call-"

"Take all the time you need," Gil assures the woman in one fell swoop, still holding her shoulder and placing his other hand on her wrist. "I can show you to him, and the hospital will help you make arrangements, okay?"

"O-Okay," she nods as Gil guides her gently to her feet. She holds up the sandwich and water, "um-"

"It's okay," Gil smiles, gently patting her hands to deposit them back in her purse. "You'll need your strength. You should hold onto them."

Thena walks behind them, happy to fall into the background of things. Her feet squeak and drag as they guide the woman to her husband. "Missus Langford, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

The sweet woman nods at her, fresh tears coming into her eyes. They rise in Thena's as well, but the woman shakes her head. "You go, dear. I know you did everything you could for him."

Thena really feels like she could throw up.

"Someone will come in to ask how you want to proceed, Missus Langford," Gil steps in again, with that soft voice of his. "No one will rush you."

She nods her thanks to them again before moving to her husband's side behind the curtain. It happened so suddenly they don't even have a private room for her to do her grieving.

Gil plants his hand on Thena's shoulder as they walk away. "Hey."

She nods, swiping at her tears yet again. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to eat a grilled cheese sandwich again. She looks up as Gil threads her arms through his hoodie. It's nice and warm, at least. "You'll need it."

"I'm warm enough." He certainly is. He zips it up and even rolls the sleeves up for her. It's not exactly professional, but no one is going to dare to tell her that. "This poor old thing--might be time for a new one."

Thena subconsciously clings to it at the thought.

Gil kisses her forehead. "This one's all yours, baby."

She sighs. They have work to do. Mister Langford is going to be one of many patients tonight. And it's her job to make sure there are no more Missus Langfords so long as she can help it. "Thanks."

He nuzzles her cheek and kisses her temple, "always."

"See you after?" she asks in a small voice, her hand trailing against his until their fingers are clinging to each other.

He gives her a smile that helps her fight the insufferable cold of the night, "I'll find you."

He always does.